


A Sea of Change

by Whovian_Overload



Series: Never Alone For Very Long [4]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Content based off of events in season 8 and 9, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mummy!river gonna put a cap in the ass of anyone who touches her babies, Pregnancy, Regeneration, Series, Smut, and some fluff, just a bit, tw: miscarriage/forced miscarraige, tw: preterm labor, tw: torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-31 17:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 94
Words: 242,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8587081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whovian_Overload/pseuds/Whovian_Overload
Summary: After the Doctor lies to River about his travels to Gallifrey, then comes home to her with a new face, he must attempt to rebuild the trust he betrayed and deal with figuring out his new dynamic. 
Takes place almost three years after When You Least Expect It, updates once a week (Friday/Saturday)





	1. Storm Clouds

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! So here is the start of part 4 of this series. If you haven't read the other parts, I can sum it up for you privately, but I recommend reading it. This starts off this the 11th Doctor and for now will only be updating once a week, but I'll try to increase that once I have more free time. A reminder that this was co-written with an awesome friend, Bea, who has no AO3 account. I hope you lot are making it through this tough year. Maybe this will help a little? Enjoy!

**Ch 1**

 

The clock was showing it was just past midnight. All the Song children were sound asleep in their beds, oblivious to their parents’ quiet conversation in the living room downstairs. 

 

River was laying with her head in her husband's lap, a cup of tea in hand, looking up at his face. "Where exactly did you say you were going again?" She asked softly. 

 

"To the Sisterhood of Karn." The Doctor hummed. He was fidgeting with her hair. "They get concerned if they don't know what I'm up to every few centuries. And really, you wouldn't want them coming all the way to Earth. They don't do discrete." 

 

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" She asked. 

 

"No, Ohila can be a bit much when she meets someone new. And you know the girls think they're too old to be babysat." 

 

"Yes, which is exactly why you owe me a date, Mr. Song." She purred, leaning up to kiss him. 

 

"Of course, Mrs. Doctor." He met her lips. "Karn, however, is not a date. I promise you a real one in a much nicer place, just as soon as I get back." 

 

"Good, I look forward to it." She beamed. "What time are you leaving?" 

 

"After breakfast, I would think." He informed. 

 

She nodded, sitting up and moving to sit in his lap so she could still face him. "The children will miss you. This is the first long trip you've taken in a long while, well, at least the first long trip that you're actually staying away for." 

 

"Only the children?" He teased. 

 

"Oh, well I suppose the dog will miss you too.  _ I _ , on the other hand, am looking forward to spending time with my secret lover." She teased right back. 

 

"Do tell her I say hello." He chuckled. "And to be out by Monday because I'm only gone the weekend." He wrapped his arms around her. "I'll be back before you know it." 

 

She smiled, "Alright, but if you're not back soon I might just have to replace you." 

 

"Fair enough, wife." He brushed his nose against her cheek, glad his lie was holding. 

 

She pressed her forehead to his, "I think this time I'll go for someone a bit older. Grey hair perhaps, a silver fox." She continued her teasing, finding it easier than thinking about his impending trip. She knew it was only for a few days, and they had been through  _ much _ longer separations, but there was something about this trip that worried her. 

 

"I'm over 1200 years old. You can't get much older than that. Where will you look?" 

 

"You know, I was thinking of having Jack set me up. He's bound to know a few older men." She murmured. 

 

He made a less than pleased face. "Oh, never trust Jack's opinion. He has horrible taste. He'll probably just close his eyes and pick at random." 

 

"Getting a little jealous, are we?" She smirked. 

 

"Perhaps..." He wiggled beneath her weight. "I'd rather just keep you all to myself." 

 

"I must admit that it would be terribly hard to find someone that I love as much as you." She cupped his face in her hands, kissing him softly. 

 

He relaxed against her. "I love you, too." 

 

"Promise me you'll come back in one piece?" 

 

"Of course, love. Don't I always?" 

 

"For the most part." 

 

"Well, if Ohila tears my arm off, you'll know where to find it." He reasoned. 

 

She laughed softly, "Well, I do worry about you. You seem to forget you have no more regeneration energy left." She nuzzled his nose. 

 

"I ought to be careful on my trip, then." He murmured, the realization making him a bit more nervous. 

 

"I'm sure you'll be fine." She whispered, closing her eyes. He held her close, starting to worry that that might not the case. 

 

He felt bad lying to her about where he was really going, and the thought of possibly not returning to her wasn't helping. 

 

"You look tired." She nodded, "Are you coming to bed with me, husband?" 

 

"Of course, wife." He nodded. 

 

Together, they walked up the stairs, River changing and slipping into bed. The Doctor did the same and joined her, very aware that he wouldn't get to share a bed with her in the coming few days. "What will you do with the kids this weekend?" 

 

She curled against him, "Well, tomorrow the twins and Arthur all have football matches and then Amelia and Freya have a sleepover party to go to. And I was thinking that on Sunday we could go to the zoo since Terra has been begging to see that new lion exhibit." 

 

"Maybe I should take your vortex manipulator and leave the TARDIS with you. You sound like you're going to need it." 

 

"No, I'll be alright." She gave him a smile, "I have everything already planned out. Like I said, I want you to be safe and the TARDIS is safe." 

 

"You're too good to me." He said though it was the same reason he didn't tell her the real location of his trip; he needed her to be safe. She hummed, tucking her head beneath his chin and drifting off. 

 

-x-

 

Terra crawled into bed with her parents in the morning, something she'd been doing since she'd started school last month. River stirred when Terra wiggled into bed. She rubbed the girl's back slightly, letting her curl up between her and the Doctor. 

 

It was not long before the alarm was to go off. The Doctor had set one so he could do a bit of packing. The kids didn't know he was leaving yet. 

 

Only an hour or so after, River woke, having slept through his alarm.She  watched him from then bed. 

 

He glanced up, noting that she was awake. "Morning." 

 

"Morning." She breathed. 

 

Though it wasn't necessary, he kept his voice down for his sleeping daughter. "Something bothering you?" 

 

She shook her head, "No, I'm alright. Are you packed?" 

 

Terra snuggled closer to her mother. 

 

"Yes, I think so." He nodded. His bag was small since the TARDIS would be able to provide most necessities. 

 

She nodded, glancing down at the sleeping girl, "Do you think we should be worried that she keeps doing this?" 

 

"Maybe. I think she's just not used to being away from us for so long every day." He murmured. "She's still adjusting." 

 

"I suppose you're right." She stroked back Terra's hair. "She's going to be the most upset that you're leaving." 

 

He sighed and nodded in agreement. "I feel rather guilty about it. She hates it whenever you leave, too." 

 

"I know." Her expression only grew more worried as she watched her daughter, "I hope she'll grow out of it." 

 

He shared sympathy. "How about some breakfast, hmm?" 

 

"Already?" She murmured, knowing that after breakfast, he would leave. 

 

"I want to be able to eat all together." He nodded. "I can make something... pancakes?" 

 

"Of course. Would you like help?" 

 

"Sure." He paused. "Maybe Terra can help, too." 

 

"I don't think she's quite awake yet." 

 

"Why don't you stay with her until she wakes, then come help?" He suggested. 

 

She nodded slowly, "Sure." She wanted to spend as much time as possible with her husband, but being a mum came before her own wants. 

 

He moved over to her and kissed her temple. She gave him a weak smile, "Don't burn yourself." 

 

He chuckled. "I won't." He moved to kiss Terra's head as well. "I'll see you in a moment." 

 

About twenty minutes later, Terra began to wake. She stretched and opened her eyes, frowning quickly when she noticed her father was absent. "[Where's Daddy?]" 

 

"[He's making pancakes.]" River signed back. 

 

Terra looked excited at this. "[I want to help!]" 

 

She smiled, "[Let's go downstairs then]" 

 

Terra wiggled out of the bed, running ahead of her mother. River rose much slower than her, descending the stairs and going to the kitchen. 

 

Terra was already buzzing about her father's legs, getting ingredients that he asked for. The Doctor was smiling, mixing things in a bowl. River stood in the doorway, watching the scene before her. 

 

"Rivah!" Her husband smiled brighter when he spotted her. "Did you want to help?" 

 

She shook her head, "I think I'll just watch if you don't mind." 

 

"I don't." He grinned, Terra giving him another egg for the batter. 

 

"[Can I break the next one?]" She asked. 

 

"[Of course.]" He nodded and lifted her up onto the counter. She held the egg in her hand, whacking it against the bowl, a good effort for someone who had never cracked an egg before. The Doctor removed the bits of egg shell that made it into the mix. "[Wonderful job.]" 

 

Terra beamed proudly. "[We should make brownies next!]" She suggested, wanting another opportunity to test out her new skill. 

 

"[Not for breakfast, sweetheart. Maybe tonight you and Mummy can make some for dessert.]" He suggested. 

 

"[Will you help too?]" She asked. 

 

He glanced at River, taking a breath. "[I'm sorry, lovie, but I'll be gone tonight. I'm going on a trip.]" 

 

Her face fell, and she blinked up at him, not saying anything for a moment, "[Do you have to go?]" 

 

"[I'm afraid so, but I promise I'll be home for dinner on Monday.]" 

 

She whimpered, eyes tearing up, "[No! Stay!]" 

 

His hearts tightened at her sadness and he pulled her into a hug, humming so she might be comforted by the vibrations. She wrapped her arms around his neck, crying quietly into his shoulder. 

 

River walked over, her own face solemn listening to her daughter's cries. "River," He looked up at her, "What do I say to her?" 

 

"Just do what you're doing." She whispered, "She'll calm down." 

 

He smiled weakly. "Maybe you should start the pancakes." 

 

She nodded, taking over the task. 

 

Terra continued to cry in her father's arms. Her siblings soon came downstairs at the noise she was making. By that time, the Doctor had brought Terra to the couch to sit. 

 

"Why is Terra upset?" Freya asked, going to sit in the chair near them as Arthur climbed up to sit next to his sister. 

 

"Because I'm going to be away this weekend." The Doctor replied. 

 

"Why?" Amelia frowned. 

 

"I'm needed with the Sisterhood of Karn. Have I ever told you about them?" 

 

All the children shook their heads, "What is the Sisterhood of Karn?" Arthur asked. 

 

"Well, it's a female society of people who... are not unlike my own." He signed along as he spoke for Terra’s understanding. "They live near where my home planet used to be and some of them are actually from there. They helped me before when I needed it." He didn't exactly want to mention the Time War, but the Sisterhood had played a large role. "They keep me in line now and then." 

 

"Does mummy have to go to?" Arthur ask. 

 

"When was the last time you saw them?" Freya piped in. 

 

"No, Mummy doesn't have to go. And... well a very long time ago." He answered both. 

 

"Are you going to tell them about us?" Amelia asked. 

 

"Yes, I think I will." He nodded, though he probably wouldn't, even if he was actually seeing them. 

 

River cleared her throat from the doorway, "Breakfast is ready." 

 

He offered a smile to his children. "Let's eat shall we?" 

 

They nodded, hopping up and running to take their seats at the table. River hung back, "Are you really going to tell them about the children?" 

 

"Er, no. Probably not. They may be good at secret keeping, but really I best not." 

 

She nodded, "I would rather you keep them a secret." 

 

"Not a problem." He took her hand. She squeezed his hand, going to eat breakfast with the rest of their family. 

 

The food seemed to cheer the children up considerably, or at the very least distract them. It cheered the Doctor up a little bit, too.

 

As the meal came to a close, River got up to wash the dishes, telling the kids they'd have to get ready for the day soon. The Doctor helped River with the dishes, glancing at the clock. "...I ought to leave soon." 

 

She nodded slowly, "You need to say goodbye to the kids." 

 

He nodded, "I'll wait for them to come back downstairs." 

 

"I'll go fetch them." She murmured. 

 

"Alright." He whispered. 

 

She went up the stairs, gathering the children so they could say goodbye. They gave him big hugs as he reminded them it would only be a few days. 

 

Terra clung to his legs, whimpering. He took pity and lifted her up. "[The sooner I go the sooner I can come back, my little star. And I promise to stop by the sweets store and get you something on my way back.]" 

 

She nodded, hugging him as tightly as she could. He returned the gesture then put her down and moved to give River her goodbye. 

 

She smiled weakly, leaning in to kiss him. He relished her touch. "I'll be home soon. Cross my hearts." 

 

She nodded, hugging him tightly, "Stay safe." 

 

"Of course." He reluctantly let go. "I love you." 

 

"I love you too." She kissed his cheek before finally letting him go. 

 

Terra had attached herself to her mother's leg instead, waving from there as the Doctor headed into the TARDIS and dematerialized from the house. 

 

The Doctor let the ship float in the vortex for a moment, his shoulders heavy. It felt reprehensible to have River worry about him like that. She knew that anything that had to do with Karn was dangerous. Where he was going was even more so. She probably would've insisted on coming with him for safety if he'd told her where he was actually going: Gallifrey. 

 

It had been a happy accident to finally discover it's location yesterday, but he knew that it posed a threat. Having River or the kids with him for this wouldn't be safe for them and he couldn't but them in at any risk. He wouldn't. But as it were, he did need to make sure his kind wouldn't go about repeating history. 

 

River lifted up her whimpering daughter as they watched the TARDIS disappear, humming to calm her. "Come on now it's time to get ready for your football matches." She shooed the children upstairs after a few minutes, "[Daddy will be back before you know it.]" 

 

"[But what if he isn't back? He never goes away!]" Terra fretted. It was usually River who took care of any matters that required being away. "[He never talked about K-A-R-N before.]" 

 

"[He'll come back. It's just a quick trip, I promise.]" She soothed. 

 

"[Is it dangerous?]" 

 

"[No, I'm sure he'll be just fine.]" 

 

She lied, "[How about we go get ice cream after all the football matches?]" 

 

Terra hesitated for a moment then nodded, deciding she believed what her mother said. River carried the girl up the stairs, going to help her get dressed. 

 


	2. By the Boardwalk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Outside the Hub, something large hand broken through a big piece of the boardwalk. Passersby had gathered curiously around the gap, staring at the object that had crashed: a four-meter-tall silver cylinder; a TARDIS in its default shell. River immediately recognized what it was, her heart stopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope those who celebrated it had a good Thanksgiving and didn't suffer too much from unwanted probing questions from family. Enjoy!

**Ch 2**

 

Terra was a mess of tears on Monday night when she had to go to bed before her father had returned home. Her siblings and mother assured he was just running late and would be there when she woke.

 

In the morning, she was even more disappointed to run into her parents' room to give the Doctor a welcome-home hug and find that his side of the bed was empty and her mother was pacing.

 

River did her best to comfort Terra through that day and the next, holding her tightly. She told her stories about how the Doctor was a terrible driver and how he used to always be late for their dates.

 

By Friday, River was calling all of their friends, asking if any of them had seen or heard from her husband. None of them had any news for her. Another week passed and Jack set his scanners to search for the TARDIS but was getting no results either.

 

The girls started asking if the Doctor was ever this late before and what could've happened to him. River continued to hide her worries, telling them that he used to be much later and that she was sure he would be back soon.

 

After a third week, River was beyond worried. That Friday, the girls were sleeping over at a friend's house and Clara was going to take Terra and Arthur so River could spend the night looking for the Doctor without alarming the children, and she was going straight to Karn.

 

The Sisterhood of Karn told River they hadn't seen the Doctor since the Time War, though Ohila did insist on knowing what River had to do with him.

 

"Don't lie to me! I know that he was here." River snapped, the conversation only making her more anxious, "He wouldn't lie to me."

 

"The Doctor lies to all, dear child. You are foolish to think you're an exception."

 

She swallowed, a sinking feeling in her chest. He wasn't where he said he would be, he wasn't back when he said he would be. Why would he lie to her about this? Had he gotten tired of their little domestic life and just run off? Or was he lost and hurt somewhere out in the universe?

 

"Do not take such a thing personally." Ohila murmured, sensing the other woman's distress. "If he tells you the truth it means he cares little for your safety. Nonetheless, if you wish to continue your search you must look elsewhere."

 

"It's hard not to take such a thing personally when one’s every waking moment for the past two decades has been spent in loyalty to such a monolith of a man." She sighed, reprogramming her vortex manipulator.  

 

"You give him too much credit. He may stand as a monument to the War but have no illusions of his greatness. Heroes are only ever broken."

 

River sighed, transporting to the Hub where Jack and Vastra were running more scans. They looked up at her return, Vastra hurrying over when she saw River's expression. She shook her head, sitting down looking defeated, "Ohila said that she hasn't seen him since the Time War… He _lied_ to me." Although the Doctor and lying were nothing new, it still stung that he had lied to her and to their children.

 

"Oh, dear." Vastra pulled River into a hug, unsure of what to say. She wanted to believe that the Doctor had a reason, but she was also partly mad at him for hurting River.

 

River hugged her friend tightly, "I've always worried that he'd get tired of being settled down with me. It would be foolish to think that he wouldn't, he's the Doctor and he may love me, but he loves adventure more." She sighed, feeling rather defeated, "I know that I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but I can't help but worry that maybe he's not coming back. Why else would he lie like that?"

 

"My dear, there are many reasons he could've done this. If your worries are true then he would've done this long ago. Perhaps he was trying to protect you?"

 

"I'm sure that's it." She nodded, giving her a weak smile. "I just wish he didn't feel like he has to lie to protect me."

 

"I believe that's a conversation for when he returns. And he _will_ , River."

 

"It's been almost three weeks." She whispered, "I don't know how much longer I can stall the kids."

 

"Then we must-" Vastra cut herself off as there was a large crashing sound from outside. River jumped, then ran for the doors. Jack and Vastra followed.

 

Outside the Hub, something large hand broken through a big piece of the boardwalk. Passersby had gathered curiously around the gap, staring at the object that had crashed: a four-meter-tall silver cylinder; a TARDIS in its default shell. River immediately recognized what it was, her heart stopping.

 

"Is... is that..?" Jack couldn't quite make out the word. She nodded, taking off towards the ship. The thing was half in the water.

 

"How are we going to get to that?" Vastra asked.

 

"I don't know, but I'm going to try getting the doors open." River was getting ready to dive into the water.

 

"Maybe we should wait until we have something to get it out of the water with..." Vastra hesitated.

 

"Well, then we need to get something!" River cried urgently, "Jack, is there anything in the Hub?"

 

"Yeah, I've got something. Hang on a sec." He ran back inside. Vastra rubbed River's shoulders in an attempt to comfort her, ignoring the stares from the humans.

 

The ship started smoking.

 

Jack ran back with a remote-like device in his hands. "You do realize this is going to attract even more attention than here already is?"

 

"I don't care. If the Doctor is in there then we need to get him out." River was trying to keep calm.

 

"What if it isn't him? Last time I checked, your TARDIS doesn't look like that."

 

She bit her lip, not knowing what to do. If it was her husband, he obviously needed help. If it wasn't…

 

The smoke from the ship increased, the fumes blackening.

 

"Jack, please." She shook her head, "We _need_ to do something."

 

"Here goes nothing." He activated the device. It shot out a large blue ray, the light engulfing the silver TARDIS. Jack pressed a few more buttons and the ship rose creakily out on the bay water. He maneuvered it onto the unbroken planks of the dock with a thud.

 

Immediately after it was out of the water, River ran for the doors, trying to open them. Jack and Vastra ran to help, the three of them managing to get the doors open.

 

Smoke exploded in their faces. River coughed, but it didn't stop her. She ran inside, "Doctor!"

 

The console room would've been a sterile white had the crash not happened. As it was, the central column had shattered, leaving glass everywhere. Some panels of the console had come away, exposing wires and broken gas pipes.

 

River coughed as smoke filled her lungs, "Doctor!" She tried again, searching the room. There was no response but a weak groaning from the other side of the room. She ran to the source of the noise.

 

Barely conscious on the ground was a gray haired man. His skin and clothes were singed, though he was in the Doctor's attire. River froze when she finally saw the man, unable to move, her hearts stopping.

 

"River!" Jack called, "Do you see him?"

 

"Y-Yes!" She choked out, moving to pull the Doctor outside the TARDIS. She was shocked, but she needed to get him out.

 

"Is he alright?" Is was Vastra's voice now. "Do you need help?"

 

"No!" She shouted again, managing to lift the upper half of his body and pull him towards the door. They weren't sure which question she was answering.

 

"UNIT is here, they're trying to take care of the witnesses. They're asking if we need medical assistance."

 

River stopped answering, focusing on dragging her husband out of the burning TARDIS. Her eyes stung and her head felt light from the smoke inhalation, but she kept going.

 

Jack ran to her when she was close enough to the door for him to see her. "Oh my god..."

 

Once outside River fell beside her husband, coughing and trying to refill her lungs with clean air. Vastra moved to aid River while Jack hovered over the old man.

 

"This is him? I though he couldn't do this anymore."

 

"It's-" She coughed, "It's him."

 

"We should get him inside." Vastra murmured, too in shock to question this.

 

River nodded, "Jack can you help carry him?"

 

The man nodded, moving to hoist the Timelord over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. River led them inside, still regaining her breath. "We need to monitor his hearts and put him to bed."

 

"On it." Jack put the Doctor down on the table in the examination bay, setting up scanners.

 

"He should get an oxygen mask as well." She murmured, helping to get it set up.  

 

"So should you." Vastra worriedly added.

 

"I'm fine," River whispered, fixing the mask over his face and stepping back.

 

"You inhaled a lot of smoke..."

 

"I'm fine." She repeated, more firmly this time.

 

Jack cut in with scan results before Vastra could insist anymore. "There's some internal bleeding, but he's freshly regenerated, so he's still healing himself. We won't have to worry about that."

 

River nodded, the shock returning. "He'll be fine, we just need to let his body heal on its own."

 

"He's in a healing coma, so don't expect him to wake up before tomorrow." Jack pulled away from the computer. "So, you have an explanation for this?"

 

"I've only seen him in this regeneration twice before." She shook her head, "I don't know what to think anymore. He lied to me and then came back like this..." She was furious with him, but at the same time, it broke her heart that he had spent his last moments in his last regeneration alone.

 

"River, I'll say this-- and I'm sure he's going to say the same thing-- whatever killed him probably would've killed you too. Maybe that doesn't change what he did, but it's a pretty good reason if I ever heard one."

 

"I don't need him to protect me." She shook her head, "Maybe he wouldn't have been killed if he hadn't gone out alone." She pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

Jack didn't reply to this, knowing this was a conversation for the Doctor to hear. "Are you staying the night?"

 

"If you don't mind." She nodded, as much as she tried to hide it, her expression betrayed the anger and hurt that she felt.

 

"Do you want me to pick up the children in the morning?" Vastra asked.

 

River nodded again, "That would be helpful." The thought of having to explain everything to the kids scared her. They had never experienced regeneration before and she didn't know how they would react.

 

"What are you going to tell them?" Jack asked.

 

"I don't know yet. They know very little about regeneration, so I don't know how they'll take it or if they'll even understand."

 

He sighed. "Can I get you tea or something?"

 

"I don't want to be a burden." She shook her head, "If you have other things to do, you don't need to dote on me."

 

He nearly rolled his eyes at her. "River if I wanted you gone I'd have asked you to leave already. I'm just offering tea like you would do for me."

 

"Maybe a coffee." She sighed.

 

"I can do that." He offered what he hoped was a comforting expression, going off to fetch a mug.

 

"Thanks." She murmured, her eyes fixed on the Doctor. She stepped closer, touching his jacket, "His coat's singed...He loved this coat."

 

"I'm sure he has a spare." Vastra soothed.

 

"He won't need it anymore anyway. I'm sure he'll want to redo his whole wardrobe, he always does." She bit her lip, "And good riddance, I always thought he dressed like an idiot anyway." Her voice broke and she quickly cleared her throat to try and cover it up.

 

Vastra didn't know what to say, pulling River into another hug. "Is there anything I can do?"

 

She hugged her back, "I don't think there's anything to be done. It's just...hard. He's still here, but at the same time, he's not. And I'll love him no matter what, but...I suppose I'll just need time to adjust to the change."

 

"You said you'd seen him before?" She asked.

 

River nodded slowly, "Only briefly. I don't really know anything about him."

 

"What happened?"

 

"It was right after Terra was born." She murmured, "He came to...help me."

 

Vastra frowned, "I don't remember him there. Not in this face."

 

"He really only saw me, but it was on Dundenbar and… it's complicated."

 

She nodded, though didn't understand at all. "Did you know this would happen now?"

 

She shook her head, "No, I thought I'd have more time with him. Well, the old him."

 

"And there's no way of knowing what's changed until he wakes." Vatra murmured.

 

River nodded, "Is it selfish of me to wish that I had at least gotten to say goodbye? That our children would have gotten to say goodbye?"

 

"No. I suppose everyone who experiences loss (or functional loss) wishes for the same thing. What did you do before he went to... went traveling?"

 

"I said goodbye, but if I had known that I wasn't going to see him like that again..." She trailed off, "It would have been different."

 

Vastra nodded slowly. "Do you want to be alone with him?"

 

"I don't know what good that would do." River sighed.

 

"Give you a little time to think." Vastra looked over to see Jack returning with the coffee. "And to drink."

 

She nodded, taking the mug from Jack, "Thank you." River took a sip, sitting down in the nearest chair. Jack left again to go deal with the UNIT team waiting outside and the clean up. Vastra went to make herself busy with making some food.

 

River sat with her husband for what felt like hours, watching the monitors. Vastra gave her a plate of biscuits later, which Jack stole some of. Jack also tried offering River a bed at some point, which he claimed would be much more comfortable than a chair. She refused, wanting to be there when the Doctor woke up.

 

She stayed up throughout the night, occasionally taking quick naps. Vastra eventually brought River a blanket and pulled up a chair next to try and companionable. They talked quietly as the night turned into morning, River keeping a watchful eye over her husband.

 

Vastra left. after Jack bought breakfast for the lot, to get the kids, wishing River high spirits. It was around the same time that they noticed the Doctor was muttering.

 

River sat perfectly still, watching the Doctor intensely, not saying a word. His words were hardly above a whisper at first and completely unrecognizable, especially with the mask covering his face.

 

River removed the mask, figuring he didn't need it anymore. His face twitched at her touch. His muttering was a tad clearer now, and for whatever reason was spoken in Estonian. "The world which shook at my feet, and the trees and the sky, have gone. And I am alone now. The wind bites now, and the world is gray, and I am alone here."

 

She frowned, putting away the mask and returning to her seat.

 

"What's he saying?" Jack asked.

 

River translated the words back to him, "I don't know why he's speaking in Estonian."

 

He shrugged. "I have a number of guesses, but it's not worth theorizing about. The good news is talking means me might be waking up."

 

She nodded, her expression growing stonier, her anger and hurt with her husband still boiling beneath the surface. Jack coughed. "As much as I love fireworks, maybe I should leave the room for this."

 

"Maybe." She whispered, biting her tongue.

 

He made his exit, knowing all too well that River's wrath was not something one wanted to get in the way of.


	3. Who Frowned Me This Face?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've got sodding caterpillars above my eyes! Where did those come from?" 
> 
> "Yes, it would seem that you're trying to make up for the lack of eyebrows from your last regeneration."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raise your hand if this week sucked? Just me? Alright then, enjoy.

**Ch 3**

 

The Doctor twitched his eyes open. River stared at him, her expression stone and unchanging. He frowned-- quite an impressive expression when worn on this face. He started sniffing the air before he realized there were scanners on him and took them off. 

 

"What do you think you're doing?" River asked, her tone as icy as her expression. 

 

His eyes shot up to hers, looking genuinely surprised that there was another person there. "Don't want these." 

 

"I don't care. You need to keep them on." She frowned. 

 

"Why?" 

 

"Because we need to monitor your hearts." 

 

"My hearts are fine." He frowned some more, though this time is was at his newly Scottish accent. "I don't need a doctor." 

 

"I don't care what you think you need. I'm telling you what you need." She glared daggers at him. 

 

"Are you my doctor?" He asked, genuinely not knowing the answer to that. 

 

Her expression wavered when she realized that he didn't know who she was. Painful memories filled her mind, "No...not exactly." 

 

He responded with a huff and sat up completely, swinging his legs over the examination table. He stood and looked around. "I know this place..." 

 

"It's the Hub. Jack runs Torchwood from here." She explained, now looking everywhere but him. 

 

"Jack." He muttered. "The flirty one... annoyingly prideful one..." 

 

She almost managed a smile, "I should get him. He'll want to know that you're awake." 

 

"Not his business. He's too nosey." He sniffed the air again and spotted the plate with one last biscuit on it. He went over and took it. 

 

"Are you hungry?" She asked. 

 

"I think I am. Not the easiest thing to know." He started eating the pastry. She nodded slowly, letting him eat in silence. It only took him a moment to consume it. 

 

When his mouth was empty again, he continued pondering. "Jack. He kissed me once, you know. And Rose. In the same minute actually. I think. How long ago was that? Rose... over a thousand years ago. Yes, she's been gone for a long time." 

 

"Yes, she has." River confirmed though a thousand years was an overestimate, "What else do you remember?" 

 

"I've got 2000 years of life lived. You'll have to be more specific." 

 

She knew he wasn’t two thousand, though dismissed his mistake, "Do you remember Amy and Rory?" She asked. 

 

"The nose and the legs." He smiled weakly. "Always loyal to each other, brave until the end." 

 

"Do you remember Amelia and Freya?" 

 

He was quiet for a moment as the cogs turned in his head. "They played used to play 'pirate' when they were little. The old girl would make them holographic enemies to fight over treasure with." 

 

"Do you remember who they are to you?" 

 

"My children." He was quiet again starting to look a little worried. "They haven't gone and grew up without me, have they?" 

 

"Unless you count thirteen as grown up then no, they haven't." She paused, "What about Terra and Arthur?" 

 

"What about them?" 

 

"Do you remember who they are?"

 

"My children. The younger ones." 

 

She nodded, not daring to ask if he remembered her. 

 

"Terra... she's going to be devastated at my new face. What do I look like?" 

 

"I'll get you a mirror." She murmured, turning away from him. He didn't say anything watching her intensely. 

 

She rummaged through a few drawers before finally finding a mirror, bringing it back over to him. He his gaze shifted to his reflection, expression not changing. "It's got lines on it." 

 

"Does that bother you?" 

 

He looked like he might answer her question when he exclaimed instead, "I've got sodding caterpillars above my eyes! Where did those come from?" 

 

"Yes, it would seem that you're trying to make up for the lack of eyebrows from your last regeneration." 

 

"Bloody attack eyebrows." He muttered. She didn't respond, watching him examine his new face, now feeling more hurt than angry, though the anger was still there. 

 

"All gray." He poked suspiciously at his hair. "Was that on purpose? ...I think someone told me to do that." 

 

"Do you remember who?" She asked quietly. He took a breath and thought. After a minute a started snapping as if it would help him remember.  "The flirty one... no, not Jack." He snapped some more. "She's... she's the clever one." Another snap. "Big hair. Has a habit of shooting my hats." 

 

"Does she have a name?" River raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was even realizing that she was the person he was describing. 

 

"Everyone has a name," He huffed like it was obvious, but defeatedly did have to think about it again. "... _ River _ ." He smiled warmly and sadly all at the same time. "Likes to prove me wrong. Marvelous dancer. She's my…” He hesitated and his face fell. “I'm late, aren't I?" 

 

"Yes, you are." Her frown and eyes hardened. 

 

"How late?" 

 

"Almost a month." 

 

He winced at his own mistake. "That's crashing TARDISes for you. Hard to steer." 

 

She rolled her eyes, "You lied to me." 

 

"Yes, I did." He murmured. 

 

"Where did you go?" She stared at him, her expression showing her anger but her eyes giving away the pain and hurt that she felt inside. 

 

He hesitated. "...Gallifrey." 

 

Her breathing stopped for a moment, "Why didn't you just tell me? We could have talked about it." 

 

"A lot of reasons, River." He sighed, knowing he was in the wrong. "Things didn't exactly go as planned." 

 

"Obviously." She looked away from him, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

 

"I didn't go out of my way to die." He huffed. 

 

"I never said that you did." She whispered. She turned so her back was to him, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly. 

 

"You're acting like it." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I went out of my way to protect you and the kids." 

 

She wanted to snap at him and tell him just how much he had hurt her, but she didn't. Instead, she bit back her tears, swallowed her tongue and forced the most genuine smile she could manage, "You're right, I'm sorry. It's been a stressful few weeks not knowing where you were." 

 

He looked a bit surprised at her reaction. "It shows." 

 

"I'm sorry." She repeated. 

 

"It's not you who should be apologizing." 

 

She looked away from him, not in the mood for an apology, "I think we should work out what we're going to tell the children." She quickly tried to change the subject. 

 

He swallowed. His mind was full of trying to tell River what had happened, not the kids yet. "I don't want them to know where I went." 

 

"Okay." She whispered, "I think that I should go see them first and… break the news to them." 

 

"That might be best." He agreed. 

 

"I'll go soon. There's no sense in keeping them in suspense." 

 

"Where are they?" 

 

"The twins slept over at Matty's house and Arthur and Terra are at Clara's.” 

 

He looked at the floor. "They'll be so upset." After being away for so long--longer than River knew--all he wanted was to hold his family again and see them happy. That certainly hadn't been the case so far and he knew wouldn't be anytime soon. 

 

"They'll get used to it." 

 

"They shouldn't have to." He muttered. 

 

"It's better than not having a father at all." She shot back, her tone a bit sharper than she meant it to be. He said nothing, Vastra coming returning to the hub. River sighed, "I should go talk to the children." 

 

"Yeah." He nodded. She left the room, needing a minute to compose herself. 

 

Vastra had all four kids waiting at the door with her, Terra looking excited. River looked at her children, her hearts breaking all over again, "Let's go talk over here." She murmured, bringing them further away from the medical bay. 

 

They went up to Jack's office where he greeted the kids asked River if she needed any help with this part. She shook her head, "Do you all know about regeneration?" 

 

The twins nodded. Their younger siblings shook their heads. River sighed, explaining, “When someone like us, a Gallifreyan, is badly hurt and dying, they have a way of… cheating death. It’s called regeneration and it causes the hurt person to release a large amount of healing energy, but it also causes them to change their face.” 

 

They grew more concerned as River spoke, not understanding why she was telling them this. 

 

"When your father went away, something happened and he had to...regenerate. So, he looks different now and he may act a bit different, but I want you to know that he's still your Daddy and he still loves you." 

 

"[Daddy got hurt]??" Terra looked terrified. 

 

"[Yes but he's okay now.]" 

 

She didn't believe her mother, making a run for downstairs. River let her go, closing her eyes and sighing. Terra sprinted as fast as her little legs could go towards the med bay in complete denial of what was happening. 

 

"Would you like to go down as well?" River asked the three others. They nodded. 

 

Arthur jumped when he heard his younger sister scream from downstairs. 

 

River ran down to the sound of the scream, the three other children following. Terra was fleeing from the med bay in tears. "[That's not Daddy!!]" 

 

River caught the girl in her arms, holding her tightly, "[It is, my love. It is. I told you he was going to look different, remember? I know it's scary to see someone that looks very different, but it's still him.]" 

 

"[It's not Daddy!]" She sobbed. [It's not him! I want my daddy! Where's Daddy?]" 

 

River hummed to calm her, nuzzling the top of her head, "[Why don't you give him a test? Ask him a question only Daddy would know the answer to.]" 

 

She sniffled and looked back at the old man in the med bay, not wanting to let go of her mother's hand. 

 

"[I'll be right here the whole time.]" River assured.

 

Terra nodded slowly and approached the Doctor, clinging to River's hand. River walked over with her daughter, giving her husband an if-you're-not-gentle-with-her-I'll-shoot-your-eyebrows-off look. 

 

He took a breath. "[Hello, Terra]" 

 

Terra got straight down to business, asking her first question, "[How old am I?]" It obviously wasn't the hardest and most personal question in the world, but then again the girl was only 5, so her interrogation skills could still use some work. 

 

"[You're five. You turned five over the summer.]" He replied. 

 

Her face scrunched as she tried to think of a harder question, "[What's my favorite bedtime story?]" 

 

"[Anything from Mummy's diary.]" 

 

"[What did you promise to get me for my next birthday?]" 

 

"[A stuffed horse and a pretty dress to match the one Mummy wore to the equinox festival.]" He answered readily. 

 

Her next question was a trick, "[Which do I like better: manaphants or squirgents?]" 

 

He thought for a moment."[ Aren't Varqrid your favorite?]" 

 

She nodded. 

 

He nearly smiled. "[Do you believe Mummy now?]" 

 

She nodded again, though she still clutched onto River's hand. He kneeled down to her level. "[I've very sorry I'm late, sweetheart. I came home as soon as I could.]" 

 

"[Why did you have to change? I liked they way you were.]" 

 

"[My body was hurt. In order to get better, I had to change my face.]" 

 

"[You look like Emma's granddad.]" Emma was her school friend. 

 

"[Do I? I haven't seen very much of myself.]" He had to admit that he felt that he'd seen this face before. 

 

She nodded, reaching out to touch his face. He let her trace over the creases of his new skin, over frown and smile lines alike. The others watched from the steps, silent. 

 

Terra turned to her siblings. "[It's Daddy.]" 

 

They cautiously drew closer, though they stopped once at River's side, refusing to go past the safety of their mother. The Doctor watched them all, his hearts dropping to his toes at their expressions. In any other circumstance they might've been jumping to hug him, but as it was, Terra's was the only kind touch he'd felt from anyone in a long time. "Hello, my loves." 

 

It took them several minutes, but finally, they drew closer to examine his new face. Like their sister had they touched his cheeks and eyebrows and forehead. He closed his eyes. 

 

"Why do you look so old?" Arthur asked, breaking the silence. 

 

"Ah, well, regeneration is always a lottery. You never quite know what you're going to look like." 

 

"What are we going to tell our friends?" Amelia asked, by now used to keeping secrets about anything unordinary that went on with their family. 

 

"I'm not sure yet. Your mother and I will figure it out." 

 

River nodded in silent agreement. He tried to offer the children a comforting expression. "Now I know this is all a lot to take in, but I'd like you to know that I still love you all very much." He looked at River. "It's okay to be upset about this and it's okay to be angry if you need to be. I'm never going to stop loving any of you for it." 

 

River looked away when he said this, though Terra felt brave enough to give him a tentative hug. He was taken back by the action, gently hugging her back. Arthur followed the little girl's lead, though the older girls were more hesitant. 

 

Amelia looked up at her mum. "When is he going to change back?"  

 

"He's not going to change back, my love. This is what he's going to be like from now on." 

 

"But there must be a way to make him go back." Freya frowned. 

 

River shook her head, "No, there isn't." 

 

"I thought he couldn't do this anymore." Amelia murmured. "When Arthur was born and you... he didn't have any regeneration energy left." 

 

"That's what I thought." She sighed, "You'll have to ask him." 

 

"I want to go home," Freya whispered. 

 

"We can go home, but we're going to have to walk." She didn't know where the Doctor's TARDIS was at the moment.  

 

"Why?" Arthur complained. 

 

"We don't have the TARDIS right now." River murmured. 

 

"Where did it go?" 

 

"I don't know. Your father had it last. Would you mind going back with Auntie Vastra so your father and I can talk?" 

  
"Okay." The kids nodded and followed Vastra to the other room. 


	4. A Thousand Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Doctor, I don't think you understand our circumstances. We have children now. We have responsibilities. What if you weren't able to regenerate? Then you would have been dead while we were here waiting for you, never knowing what happened to you. I spent most of my life waiting for the next time you would show up, I don't want my children to have to go through that too."

**Ch 4**

 

"Do you know where our TARDIS is?" River asked the Doctor once the kids were out of earshot. Out of their small family, she was the only one who hadn't at least touched his face. 

 

He shook his head. "No." 

 

She sighed, "Right… Well, I'm going to go find it then." 

 

He looked alarmed, "Don't!" 

 

"Why not?" She frowned, "We need it back, it's our home." 

 

"Because I know who took it and if they see you they'll kill you on sight." 

 

It was getting harder to control her anger with him, "Then what do you suggest we do about it?"

 

He sighed. "I think she'll come back to us on her own." 

 

She closed her eyes, leaning against the wall. "Okay..." 

 

"We should borrow Jack's vortex manipulator." He said after a moment. 

 

"I already have." She murmured. 

 

"Oh." He fell silent. 

 

She sighed again, staying silent for a minute, "Do you think you're well enough to walk back?" 

 

"I'm not sure. I can't really remember what the house looks like."

 

"I'll go with you, I meant do you think you're able to walk a few blocks?" 

 

He nodded. "Probably." 

 

More silence.

 

"...You did well with the kids." She complimented. 

 

"Thanks." He smiled weakly. 

 

She nodded, going to help him up. He accepted her help, taking personal note of how his new hands didn't fit as well with hers now. She noticed as well, immediately letting go of his hand once he was standing because of it. 

 

He tried not to dwell on the loss of it. "What day is it?" 

 

"Friday." She whispered. 

 

"Is it the morning?" 

 

"No, the evening."

 

"Oh." He breathed, eyes searching the room like he was trying to remember something. 

 

"Something wrong?" 

 

"I-" He frowned, finding the memory but clearly wishing he hadn't. "Are you sure I've only been gone a month?" 

 

"Yes.. .why?" She frowned. 

 

"Doesn't matter." He wasn't meeting her eyes. "We should get home." 

 

"Not until you tell me." She shook her head, tired of being lied to. 

 

He bit his tongue. "...It's shorter." 

 

"What's shorter?" 

 

"The time. That I was away for. It's shorter for you." 

 

Her frown deepened, "How long was it for you?" 

 

He shook his head, trying to dismiss it. "It was fine." 

 

" _ How long _ ?" She asked again. 

 

"...I was trapped somewhere... not good. They wanted me to tell them where you lot were, but I didn't. So they kept me there. A while." 

 

She swallowed, a small part of her anger dissolving. "How long is a while?" 

 

His throat felt dry trying to get the words out. "Um, a couple hundred years... maybe?" She closed her eyes, going silent again, trying to hide the hurt and anger she felt both towards and for him. He watched her for a long minute. "Say something. Please." 

 

"What do you want me to say?" She whispered, shaking her head. 

 

"Just be honest. As long as we're putting everything on the table, you way as well have a thought or two about this." He searched her face. "You've nearly said a word about your feelings." 

 

"My feelings aren't important right now." She whispered. 

 

"Self-derivation doesn't suit you, dear. You  _ know _ they're important to me." 

 

She scoffed, "If that's true then why did you lie to me about what you were doing? Why didn't you talk to me and hear my feelings then?" Her volume was rising with each word. 

 

"It was a different situation." He murmured. 

 

"It didn't have to be." She stared at him, the ice in her gaze returning. 

 

"Well, it happened and I can't change it now. What I  _ can _ do is listen now." He didn't care if she was going to scream at him or not. He just wanted to hear her after so much time spent in silence. 

 

She sat down on the steps, putting her head in her hands, trying to calm down, "I thought that we were past lying to each other." She whispered after a few minutes. "And then when you didn't come back..." She trailed off, shaking her head, "I'm so foolish for thinking that could ever be true. So as angry as I am with you, I'm even angrier with myself." 

 

"How can you be mad at yourself for my own mistake?" 

 

"I'm mad at myself because I thought that you had stopped lying to me. After all these years, I should have known that that would never stop. It's rule one." 

 

"River, that was the first lie I've told you in a very, very long time. I breached your trust, I get that, but there's only one reason I did it and I know you'd do the same given the circumstance." 

 

"Doctor, I don't think you understand  _ our _ circumstances. We have  _ children _ now. We have responsibilities. What if you weren't able to regenerate? Then you would have been dead while we were here waiting for you, never knowing what happened to you. I spent most of my life waiting for the next time you would show up, I don't want my children to have to go through that too." 

 

"I'd rather that then have you all die the way I did." He muttered. 

 

She shook her head, "You just don't understand." 

 

He closed his eyes. "Maybe you should explain it again when my brain is actually working." 

 

"Maybe." She muttered. 

 

While the Doctor had thought for a long time he was doing right by his family, the conversation had him questioning his morals. He had hurt River, that much was obvious -and while he was glad to have kept them out of danger, he wasn't sure how he was going to bridge the apparent gap he'd made. 

 

She sighed, putting her head in her hands again, taking a minute to collect herself. "We should get back home." 

 

"Yeah." He nodded.

 

They gathered the kids up, bid Jack and Vastra goodbye, and started the walk home. River held Terra's hand as they walked, most of the walk home silent. 

 

The Doctor kept looking around at the buildings, trying to recognize anything he could, which was not much. Once they were home, River let them into the flat. Toby came limping over to greet them, though he barked when he saw the Doctor. 

 

The Doctor looked startled. "River there's a dog in our house." 

 

"That's Toby. We've had him for almost ten years." She murmured. 

 

"Oh." He frowned, not quite remembering. She didn't say anything, giving the dog a scratch behind the ear. 

 

Toby gladly greeted the others in the family, but he was apprehensive towards the stranger.

 

"It's alright, Toby," River said. 

 

Terra looked up at her father and gestured for him to hold out his hand for the dog. He hesitantly followed his daughter's directions, holding his hand out. 

 

The dog sniffed his hand, recognizing the Doctor from the scent. He barked happily, licking his hand. The Doctor stared at the dog for a long moment. "...I know you." 

 

Toby’s tail was wagging and he watched the Doctor with what could have been called a smile. He finally pet the dog with more merriment, glad that at least someone was a happy to see him. 

 

"I have to go make a call. You can walk around the house if you don't remember where everything is." River told him, "Amelia would you mind feeding Toby? I believe it's your turn tonight." 

 

Amelia nodded. Freya and Arthur went upstairs. Terra stayed with her father, offering to show him around the house. She took his hand and pulled him to each room, telling him what it was and her favorite part about each of them. 

 

They started on the first floor and made their way up, ending right outside River and the Doctor's shared bedroom where River was still on the phone behind the closed door. 

 

"[Do you know who Mummy's calling?]" The Doctor asked. 

 

Terra shook her head, "[Ask her.]" 

 

"[Well... I wouldn't want to interrupt her.]" River was irritated enough with him as it was. 

 

Terra opened the door, peering into the room. "[Mummy, are you done with the phone?]" She asked. 

 

River shook her head, "[Not yet, I'm on the phone with work. I'll be with you in a minute.]" 

 

"[Why are you talking to your work?]"

 

"[Not now, Terra.]" River shooed her out. 

 

"[What did Mummy say?]" Asked the Doctor. 

 

"[She said she's talking to work.]" 

 

"[Maybe she's going to take some time off.]" He thought aloud. 

 

"Yes, yes I know, but I can't do that right now." River's voice could be heard from inside the room", "I appreciate the offer but..." 

 

"[I would like that.]" Terra smiled, "[Then we could play all the time.]" 

 

"[Yeah...]" He agreed, but was more focused on trying to figure out what River was talking about. Was she turning down an expedition offer? Why would she do that? 

 

"So I'm afraid it's a no on both accounts." She laughed weakly, "And a no to dinner as well." There was a pause as she listened to the response of the person on the other line, "It's not that I don't want to, it truly is hard to turn down your offer, but the timing isn't right. There's been an unexpected change in my life and I need to deal with that before I do anything else." 

 

The Doctor's hearts quickened. Dinner? Dinner with who? He tried very hard not to jump to any conclusions as making assumptions lately didn't work out well for him. Surely it was just a work thing. That's what he tried to tell himself at least. Maybe he ought to just ask, but how could he be sure she'd tell him the truth when she was so hurt about him lying to her? Maybe he was over complicating things. 

 

River laughed again, "I'll talk to you very soon." Another pause, "I promise I won't...Goodbye." There was some shuffling from inside the room before the door opened. 

 

Terra and the Doctor looked up at River. "[Are you going to stay home for work so we can play?]" Terra asked hopefully. 

 

River hesitated, "[Yes, but only for one week.]" 

 

"[Oh.]" She nodded. "[I was gonna show Daddy your room.]" River stepped aside so they could enter the room. 

 

"[This part I believe I remember, dear.]" The Doctor said, looking at River. "Who was on the phone?" 

 

"It was just a work thing." She murmured, changing the subject, "You remember our room?" 

 

"Yes. Very fondly in fact." He nodded. 

 

River looked at the picture of them that was on her nightstand, "Well I'm glad your memory is coming back."

 

"I ought to get some non-burnt clothes on." He murmured. 

 

River tensed slightly, "Right...I don't know if there's anything much different style wise in our wardrobe so you'll have to wait for the TARDIS to get back.” 

 

"Of course." He turned to his daughter. "[Why don't you go find your siblings and play?]" 

 

She nodded, running down the hall to find her brother and sisters. 

 

He moved to the open the closet, peering at the clothing choices. "Any suggestions, River?" 

 

"I'll let you choose on your own." She murmured, staying by the door. 

 

He shrugged, wishing she'd at least come in the room. "I really hope I have at least a bit of coat variety." 

 

"I can take you shopping downtown if the selection really bothers you that much." She offered. 

 

"Shopping? That might be nice. The girls would love to join in on that." 

 

"Actually, I was thinking it would be just us, but we can bring the kids if you want." 

 

He poked his head out of the closet. "Just us is nice, too." 

 

"Are you sure you don't mind?" She took a few steps closer. 

 

He looked hopeful. "Of course not." 

 

She nodded, "I should ask Clara to come over then." 

 

"Yes, that would be good." 

 

"I'll call her." She whispered. He nodded, going to change into jeans and a t-shirt. It wasn't his first choice, but it wasn't burnt tweed. 

 

River got on the phone with Clara, who said she would come over to watch the kids. Terra and Arthur were very excited to see her again, even though they'd slept at her house the day prior. They ran to her and gave her huge hugs when she arrived. 

 

River warned Clara about the Doctor's changed appearance, not wanting to frighten her. Terra was eager to show Clara what her dad looked like now, dragging her to the kitchen where he was making coffee. 

 

"Doctor?" Clara stared when her eyes fell on the Doctor's form. 

 

He looked up at her. "Yes?" 

 

"...Hi." She gave him an uneasy smile, "You like...great!" 

 

He scoffed. "I look like I'm fresh out of the Time War." 

 

She gave him a more relaxed smile, "Jeans and a t-shirt. That's certainly a look, no bowtie?" 

 

"Bow ties were bit embarrassing. And the look is temporary." He replied, sipping his drink. River, who had been standing in the doorway, left at that moment. 

 

"Well, I'm here so you can go and figure out your new look." Clara ruffled Terra's hair. 

 

"That's the plan." He nodded. "Shouldn't take more than a few hours." 

 

Clara nodded, "Well, have fun. Don't make any fashion decisions I wouldn't make." 

 

"That's why I've got..." He frowned as he realized River has left. "...my wife." 

 

"I'm sure she'll watch out for you." Clara turned, now seeing that River was gone as well. 

 

"Yeah... I'd best find her so we can go." He left the room. 

 

River had gone back to their bedroom, retrieving the singed clothes from where they had been discarded. He knocked on the doorframe when he found her. "What are you doing?" 

 

"Just...putting this away." She whispered, holding tightly onto the strip of fabric that was his bowtie. 

 

He swallowed. It wasn't the bow tie from their first wedding, but they'd been wed enough times that all of his bow ties may as well be symbols of their union. At that thought, he realized what he'd said that might've upset her. "Can I see my jacket?" 

 

She nodded, handing it over to him avoiding his eyes. He dug shoulder deep into the pocket until he found what he was looking for, pulling out his wedding ring. 

 

She let out a shaky sigh, "Almost forgot about that?" 

 

"Not quite." The stones on the ring had dulled greatly in color and the metal was quite scratched and aged. He slipped it back on his finger. "Didn't want to lose it in the crash." 

 

"You should get it cleaned." She murmured. 

 

He nodded. "Not many opportunities to do that lately." 

 

"We can drop it off at the jewelers in town if you want." She still wasn't looking at him, holding the coat and the bowtie close to her chest. 

 

He frowned. "I don't think I trust this in the hands of those pudding brains. They'll mess something up." 

 

"Pudding brains?" She raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Yeah, pudding brains. 'Cos they're idiots." 

 

She smiled softly, "I see." 

 

He looked at the way she was clinging to his old garments. "River, can I ask you something?" 

 

"Yes?" 

 

"Do you think that because my face has changed, my feelings about you have changed as well?" 

 

"Of course not." She shook her head, "But I do think that you'll show your feelings in a different way and that will take some getting used to." 

 

He nodded. "Looks like you're an expert." 

 

"Well, I wouldn't say that." She smiled weakly. 

 

"Well you have seen at least three of my faces now, haven't you?" 

 

"At least." She shrugged, "Maybe a few more than that..." 

 

"Wouldn't I have remembered that?" He asked. 

 

"Not necessarily." She looked back down at the clothes in her hands, folding them and placing them on the bed, "We should go." 

  
"Yeah, alright." He nodded. She led him down the stairs, saying goodbye to the kids. 


	5. Shiny and New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A blue police box became visible as River rounded the corner, the top light shining brighter in her presence. She smiled, running towards it, relieved to see at least something familiar. Upon opening the doors, however, she was not met with the usual orange glow of the console room. Instead, the light came from the reflections of the many metal surfaces of the new desktop. River stopped in the doorway, taking a step out, her face falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to the holidays... just a few more weeks, folks. Hang in there, good luck with finals if you've got them. Enjoy!

**Ch 5**

 

Soon the pair of Gallifreyans were out the door and walking downtown. River explained the buildings around them, pointing out their favorite shops and restaurants. If her anecdotes triggered a memory, the Doctor would tell it to her to make sure it was correct. 

 

River seemed to relax a tad more around him keeping an inward focus on her emotions. The Doctor was rather surprised that her anger that had been so apparent at the Hub was so hidden at the moment. He wondered if she'd blow up at him later or just wasn't that angry anymore. He couldn't say he didn't appreciate this time with her, though. He felt much less alienated. 

 

She brought him to a few shops at the mall, letting him look around, not really inputting her opinion. He picked out a few things and went to the changing room. River waited outside, sitting down in one of the available chairs.

 

He stepped out a few minutes later. "...Well?" 

 

"It's...different." River murmured, looking him over. The coat had much more sheen than tweed could produce, as was a navy blue, except for the red inside.

 

"I was aiming for mysterious." 

 

"Ah, well you could call it that. I think it’s a bit more magician." She laughed weakly. "Still, it looks rather good on you." 

 

He smiled weakly back. "I'm glad you think so." 

 

She nodded, drawing a bit closer. Her eyes raked over his face, going over the creases. He was very aware that it wasn't his new clothes she was looking at anymore. 

 

"...Well?" 

 

"I didn't think you'd take it so personally when I said I was going to replace you with someone older." She murmured. 

 

"It was the only thing I could remember when I was regenerating." He told her. 

 

She looked away again, something in her face changing. "Oh, I see." 

 

"Did I say something wrong?" He frowned. 

 

"No, of course not. Is this what you're planning on buying?" She asked quickly. 

 

His frown didn't leave, knowing that he must've upset her again. "I think I'll stick with this and a few shirts." 

 

"Okay." She nodded, "We can get lunch if you want." 

 

"Alright." He didn't actually remember the names of any of the restaurants. "Suggestions?" 

 

"Well, there's a restaurant a few blocks over that we used to like to go to. I can take you there." 

 

"That'd be nice." 

 

"Why don't you pay for those things and we can go." 

 

He nodded and went to the cashier, then the two of them left.

 

"We need to talk about what we're going to tell everyone." River murmured as they walked down the street. She was back to avoiding his eyes. 

 

"Everyone as in...?" 

 

"The people we see all the time. Our neighbors, our human friends, the people at the children's school." She listed. 

 

"Be people who can’t know who we are." He summarized. "I'll need a new alias." 

 

"I suppose so." She sighed, "And we also need to figure out what to tell them happened to my husband since they won't realize, or at least can't know, it's you." 

 

"I suppose that leaves a lot of options. Maybe we should just say the truth: He died." 

 

She stiffened, "I suppose that would be best." 

 

"What will that make me, then? A work colleague?" 

 

"A work colleague that lives with us, that makes sense." She snapped at him, her carefully crafted facade cracking for a moment. 

 

"I was just generating ideas since you're so bloody full of them." His tone wasn't quite as harsh, but plenty bitter. "I'm not going to pretend to be some distant fucking relative or something for the sake of normality. Nothing about this is normal." 

 

She stopped walking, flinching at his words. She wasn't used to him snapping back at her so quickly and she couldn't recall ever hearing him swear so readily before. "...I'm sorry." She whispered, "I didn't mean to snap..." 

 

"Yes, it must be hard trying to constantly bottle everything up." He muttered, staring intensely at the sidewalk. 

 

"You know I'm suddenly not so hungry anymore." She shook her head, turning and walking away from him as fast as she could. His words stung, she was trying to be accepting and open, but the sudden change and the guilt that came with it was hard. She briefly thought about how things probably would have been much different if they didn't have children, if they hadn't been living together, but here and now she was attached to him by emotions and responsibility.

 

He knew going after her wouldn't make much difference to the emotions festering in the both of them, so turned the opposite way to attempt to find his way home. 

 

River was upset and didn't know where she was headed, not paying attention to what streets she was turning down. She just wanted to be away from him. 

 

Suddenly her cell phone rang, showing the number of the person she'd been talking to earlier. Her hands were shaking as she took out the phone, answering immediately, "Hello?" 

 

"Professor Song," Said the man on the other end. "Have you had a chance to think about my offer?" 

 

"I thought I already gave you my answer." She breathed, trying to keep her voice from shaking. 

 

"One can change so much in the course of a few hours." He hummed. 

 

"You know, now is really not a good time." She murmured. She was so tempted to take him up on his offer, even though she knew she shouldn't. 

 

"Would tonight be a better time?" 

 

"Is that an offer for dinner? Again?" 

 

"As a matter of fact, it is." He hummed. 

 

"Well, unfortunately, my means of transportation is out of commission for a while, so unless you're willing to come pick me up, you're out of luck."

 

"To convince you of this, I can do anything." 

 

"Careful, you don't want to sound too desperate." 

 

"I thought I sounded heroic." He teased.

 

"I'll send you my address and then I'll see you tonight." She almost smiled at the rush of rebellion she felt. 

 

"Looking forward to it, Professor."

 

She hung up, sighing and leaning against the wall of the building she had stopped beside, closing her eyes. The Doctor was no longer in sight. He was somewhere trying to make his way home while navigationally blind. 

 

The building she was leaning against was a large brick one that was probably a factory at one point but was now used for storage. There was, however, a low mental hum from inside. 

 

River frowned, heading the to sound. She crept around the side of the building, looking for the door. The doors were rusted metal, though were unlocked. She pushed the doors open, peering inside. 

 

The humming got louder. 

 

There were huge metal shelves reaching all the way to the ceiling and filled with boxes of all sizes. Down one of the aisles, there was a blue glow. River spotted the glow, hurrying towards it 

 

A blue police box became visible as River rounded the corner, the top light shining brighter in her presence. 

 

She smiled, running towards it, relieved to see at least something familiar. Upon opening the doors, however, she was not met with the usual orange glow of the console room. Instead, the light came from the reflections of the many metal surfaces of the new desktop. 

 

River stopped in the doorway, taking a step out, her face falling. The ship hummed, trying to explain that she'd been injured and had to fix it. River sat down on the outside of the ship, putting her head in her hands. The TARDIS quieted, giving River her space. 

 

She felt stupid for crying, but she couldn't help it. It had been a rather difficult day and this change had just pushed her over the edge. She didn't get much comfort from the TARDIS's thoughts, just wishing things didn't always have to change. 

 

The warehouse offered her no solutions and neither could the ship. Change had come suddenly, and the only thing to do was get stuck or adapt, the latter of which took time. 

 

River got up after a while, only feeling worse than before. She went inside the TARDIS, going to figure out the new controls. The new console was hexagonal like the last one but much more organized and geometric. Three of the six sides had levers and buttons controlling communications, the helm, and spatial navigation. One side had a circular face with gear mechanisms behind protective glass controlling fabrication. There were two diagnostic monitors, one above the control panels, and one on one of the control panels. The final side of the console was by far the newest feature: four rows of what looked like purple and blue goop for the purpose of a psychic link. 

 

With some help from the TARDIS, she managed to figure out what to do, managing to get home. She materialized in the backyard where Arthur ran to meet them. 

 

River did her best to smile when she saw her son, scooping him up and hugging him close. 

 

"How come you're home after Daddy? I thought you went together." He asked. 

 

"We got separated, I decided to take a different way home." She set him down. 

 

"But what happened?" He held her hand. 

 

"Nothing happened." She shook her head. They walked inside. 

 

"I like Daddy's new coat." 

 

"I'm glad." She murmured. 

 

"Did you get new clothes, too?" 

 

"No, not this time. I have plenty of clothes." She shook her head, "Why don't you go play with Terra, Mummy has to get ready to go out." 

 

"Where're you going?" He asked. 

 

"I'm going to have dinner with a friend." 

 

"Auntie Vastra?" 

 

"No, a friend from work. Daddy will be home with you all night so maybe you can show him some of the games you like to play." 

 

"Okay." He nodded, curiosity finally sated. 

 

She headed up the stairs, going to get ready for dinner, hoping not to run into her husband. 

 

The Doctor was in the twins’ room, trying to reconnect. Both girls were rather hesitant to "bond" with the Doctor, or at least more hesitant than their siblings. The younger children were seemingly easier to win back trust, only needing to be read their favorite books and played their favorite games with. The girls were and different story, too old for games. The Doctor had taken the strategy of just being honest to them and telling them what had happened on Gallifrey (having decided the story didn't need to be dulled down much for them). 

 

As River got ready for her night out, the girls listened to the Doctor, asking questions and doing their best to wrap their heads around the situation. The Doctor answered their questions about regeneration and Gallifrey. It was the first time he'd really admitted to the kids that the Timelords weren't a very nice people. 

 

River came down the hall after a few hours, looking for her daughters. She was all done up from her hair to her heels, making it obvious that she was going somewhere nice. 

 

The girls looked up when they saw her, confused as to why she looked like she was going on a date and their father didn't. 

 

"What have you all been doing?" River asked though she directed her questions more to the girls than the Doctor. 

 

"Dad's been telling us what happened," Freya answered. 

 

"Oh..." She frowned slightly, a bit annoyed that the Doctor had decided to tell the girls without consulting her or at least telling her the story first. "I see." 

 

"Where're you going?" Amelia asked. 

 

"I'm going to dinner with someone." She answered, "So you're going to be with Daddy tonight." 

 

"Who with?" She frowned. 

 

"A friend from work." River smiled. 

 

"You don't usually dress that fancy for work stuff." 

 

"Well, I wanted to dress up because I'm going somewhere nice for dinner." She glanced at the Doctor. His expression was kept in neutral, though he was trying to avoid her eyes.

 

"The TARDIS is in the backyard if you need anything." River went to hug the girls, "I'll be back in a few hours." 

 

They all looked surprised. "How'd the TARDIS get back?" 

 

"I found her, she's a bit different on the inside." She smoothed her dress over, "You can go take a look." 

 

The twins nodded. "Have fun." 

 

"I will." She headed down the stairs to say goodbye to the other two children and then to meet her ride. 

  
In the backyard, a transport pod was hovering next to the TARDIS, waiting for her. She glanced back at the house again before getting inside. The pod disappeared from the yard once the door was closed, bringing her to the restaurant. 


	6. Gateway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Not so keen on the bantering, Professor?" He teased.
> 
> "Well, if you want to banter, we could do that as well." She shrugged, "And please, call me River."
> 
> "Well, River, it's your turn to tell me how you got into the archeology business."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good luck with holidays and relatives. Enjoy!

**Ch 6**

 

River stepped out of the transport pod, fixing her hair as she gave the hostess her name. She was then lead passed tables full of other dining parties, the place smelling of spices and meat. Her reservation was in a more private area near the back where the man from the phone was waiting.

 

"Hello, Mark." River smiled, her voice already taking up a flirty tone. It was a habit, but not one she felt like breaking.

 

"Professor Song," He rose from his seat to greet her. "So glad you changed your mind."

 

"Well, I wouldn't say I've changed my mind quite yet." She teased, "I only agreed to dinner, nothing more."

 

"Dinner is a perfect gateway." He pulled out her chair for her.

 

She hummed, sitting down, "You've picked a lovely place."

 

"It's a few kilometers away from the first expedition you lead." He sat down across from her.

 

"Well, someone's done their homework." She leaned against the table.

 

"I like to know whom I'm hiring."

 

A waiter came by with waters for them and asked if they were interested in other drinks. River ordered a glass of cider, watching the man across from her carefully. He ordered the same thing.

 

They'd only actually ever met in person a handful of times. Him being the head of the University Board and her being a time traveling archaeologist and mother of four left little room for things like this. Most of their correspondence was over email and phone calls. She had to admit he was rather handsome and she could see why her colleagues, especially the single ones, actually looked forward to their meetings with him.

 

She leaned back and relaxed, "Well, since you already know so much about me, I think you should tell me a bit about you."

 

"Of course. What would you like to know?"

 

"Everything you're willing to tell me."

 

"Everything? Oh, that's quite a lot. Well, I'm a Luna alumni, to start."

 

"Are you really?" She raised an eyebrow.

 

He nodded. "I went in thinking I'd be a doctor, but ended up majoring in business."

 

She hummed, "No interest in archeology then?"

 

"I can't say I don't admire the skill, but it's not my forte."

 

"Understandable. Not everyone finds studying dusty old books interesting." She shrugged, "So you graduated from Luna, how did you end up as the Head of the Board?"

 

"Ah, well, that story's a classic I started at the bottom and ended at the top." He began, going into more detail as the waiter came back with their drinks.

 

River patiently listened to the whole thing, his story keeping her mind off the situation at home. "That's quite the story." She commented once he had finished.

 

"Thank you." He smiled. "Not too cliche I hope."

 

"Not at all." She shook her head.

 

"Good." They ordered their food.

 

"Now, I suppose we should get down to business." She murmured once they had ordered.

 

"Not so keen on the bantering, Professor?" He teased.

 

"Well, if you want to banter, we could do that as well." She shrugged, "And please, call me River."

 

"Well, _River,_ it's your turn to tell me how you got into the archeology business."

 

"Well, I wanted to become an archeologist because I've always loved history." She lied, "It's what felt right and so I enrolled at Luna and...well, I'm sure you know the rest."

 

"Mostly. There was a large amount of time between your doctorates and professorship. Care to share what that was about?"

 

"I was traveling in that time." She shrugged, "The universe is amazing, so many places to see and study. Once I had been to a lot of the places I had always dreamed of seeing, I decided to become a professor and travel became more of a hobby than a lifestyle." The last bit wasn't entirely true, it was more like the other way around with travel still being her lifestyle and teaching being a hobby, but she didn't need her employer to know that.

 

"Then how is it that someone with a mind as brilliant and beautiful as yours doesn't say yes to the position I'm offering you?"

 

"Because, in case you've forgotten, I have a family, and they're my priority now." She sighed, her mind drifting to the Doctor.

 

"Your family should be happy and supportive of you that you've got such an opportunity."

 

She smiled weakly, "Yes, well, my life at home is a bit complicated right now."

 

Their food arrived at that moment, blocking Mark from pressing on that subject. "I can only keep the position open for so long. There needs to be a history department head and soon. You're more qualified than anyone."

 

River sighed, she really wanted to take the job, and after what had happened earlier with her husband, she wanted the distraction as well, "I suppose you're right. And an opportunity like this doesn't arise often..."

 

"Could very well be a once in a lifetime chance." He added.

 

She was quiet for a few minutes, "Alright, I'll take it."

 

Mark's face brightened tremendously. "See? Dinner always works magic."

 

She laughed, "I suppose it does."

 

"I'll be pleased to tell the Board." He raised his glass to her.

 

She smiled, clinking her glass with his, "I'm excited to get started. Thank you for the opportunity."

 

"You can start as late as the 20th or as early as tomorrow. And there will be plenty of chances to work from home."

 

"Well, I'll have to check my children's schedules but I'm sure I can start by the end of next week." She nodded, "And I'm guessing this higher level position will mean I'll be working more closely with you?"

 

"An added benefit." He grinned.

 

She smiled, "Well aren't I a lucky girl."

 

Their conversation flowed rather easily as dinner went on and grew progressively more flirtatious. River was having fun being a big flirt, a bit more than she probably should have been having, especially at a professional engagement.

 

Eventually, the waiter came over with a check for them. River offered to pay, reaching for her purse.

 

"No, no, please," Mark insisted. "Let me get it."

 

"If you insist." She shrugged, letting him pay. He took care of the bill and soon they were strolling out of the restaurant.

 

"That was quite a fancy pod you send for me." She commented.

 

"I didn't want you to be uncomfortable." He hummed.

 

"Oh, was that the reason? Are you sure you weren't just showing off?"

 

"Modesty forbid." He laughed.

 

She laughed, touching his arm, "I had a lovely time tonight."

 

"Me, too." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

 

"I do hope you won't mind giving me a lift home as well?"

 

"Of course, I've ordered your transportation pod again."

 

"Not up for taking me home yourself?" She teased.

 

"I'm afraid my car can only drive in the 51st century." He chuckled.

 

"Well, I do have an apartment in this century, you could drop me off there." She had her vortex manipulator in her bag, so getting home wouldn't really be a problem.

 

"Don't need to rush home to the kids?"

 

"Not tonight." She purred, "And that doesn't happen very often, so one could call this a very rare opportunity."

 

He was hooked easily. "My car's this way." She took his arm, following him to his car.

 

He opened the passenger door for her. She slid into it, using the side mirror to fix her lipstick. He got into the driver's seat. "Where's your apartment?"

 

She gave him the address, "I hope it's not too far for you."

 

"Gives us plenty more time to talk." He hummed.

 

"Yes, indeed. This is a very nice car." She commented, "My son would love it, he's going through the car-obsessed phase right now."

 

"Mhh-hmm." He nodded, though didn't seem too interested in hearing about her kids, rather going into talking about the car's make and model. River really couldn't care less about the car, but she pretended to be interested as he was clearly trying to impress her.

 

He finished his car ramble and there was a beat of silence before, "You know, I had to pull a few strings to make sure you got this position."

 

"I thought you said I was the most qualified." She raised an eyebrow.

 

"You are." He insisted. "But I wanted to make sure no one else had a chance."

 

"Ah, I see. Well then perhaps I should have paid for dinner." She murmured, this new information making her frown a bit.

 

"Nonsense. It was my idea anyways."

 

"That's very kind of you. I'll have to find a way to repay the favor in the future."

 

"I'm sure you'll think of something good." He said knowingly.

 

She hummed, another moment of silence passing through the car, "So do you live around here?"

 

"About forty minutes from your apartment." He nodded.

 

"Forty minutes? I didn't realize you were going so out of your way."

 

"Ah, it's nothing compared to your coming across time for dinner."

 

"Please, I needed a night out. My husband..." She trailed off, shaking her head.

 

"Your husband?" He urged.

 

"I don't want to think about it right now." She sighed.

 

"Did he hurt you?" Mark frowned.

 

"No! No." She quickly shook her head, "He isn't ever physically violent."

 

He relaxed, backing off the subject. "So what made you decide to live in the past?"

 

"My parents lived in that century and my husband and I have many friends who live in that century as well." She answered.

 

"Ah." He nodded.

 

"And what about you? Were you born in this time or did you choose it?"

 

"Born here. Started on Earth, though. In the States."

 

She nodded, making conversation as they continued their drive. He mentioned her new promotion at every chance, seeming to think it would earn more gratitude from her. By the time they were at her apartment, she was rather annoyed with his boasting. After all, she was the one that had earned the position... well, would have earned had he made it a fair competition.

 

"Thank you for the ride." She said as he parked.

 

"My pleasure." He walked her to her door.

 

She tried to think about the dinner rather than the car ride, leaning against the door, "I had a lovely evening."

 

"Yes, I'd call it a successful one."

 

"I look forward to working with you more in the near future." She murmured.

 

"Believe me, so am I." His tone was low and wanting.

 

Her eyes flickered down to his lips and she was suddenly very aware of the lack of space between them. At this point, it was easy to start piecing together from their conversations that the promotion wasn’t only reason he was so keen on her taking the job offer. As it was, this moment was all depending on River's actions.  

 

She frowned, thinking of the Doctor and what he might say if she kissed Mark. The image of his betrayed face in her head actually just made her want to kiss Mark just so she could get back at him what he did. She didn’t care what the Doctor would think. She did, however, care what it might do to her reputation if someone where to find out and think she’d slept her way into her position. "I should go." She murmured, reaching into her bag to pull out her vortex manipulator.

 

Mark frowned. "You're not going to invite me inside?"

 

"Not tonight." She shook her head, "I'm sorry, but if that's the kind of repayment you're looking for, I'm not that kind of person."

 

He looked annoyed. "After all the flirting you're not even going to give me a kiss?"

 

"Flirting is one thing, a kiss is another and if you're only offering me this position because you want to sleep with me then I'm sorry, but that won't happen."

 

"I made the position available only for you." He frowned. "You owe me!"

 

"I don't owe you anything." She tried to take a step back but found herself already against the door, "I didn't ask for you to make this position exclusive to me, that was your choice."

 

"Well, I wouldn't have made it if I knew you were going to play so hard to get." He hissed.

 

"I'm not playing hard to get I'm standing up for myself and my reputation. I don't need to sleep with my boss to get a promotion. I like my current job just fine." She spat back.

 

"Well, you can damn well kiss that free promotion goodbye, then. And your current job."

 

She tried to ignore the second threat. "I'd rather earn it than get it for free." She plugged the coordinates into her vortex manipulator. He couldn't get another word in before she was gone.

 

River landed in her bedroom, twisting her ankle in the process. She fell as she landed, ending up on the floor next to the bed. She didn't even bother trying to get up, burying her head in her hands. She felt utterly stupid for what just happened, not to mention upset at the now apparent reality that Mark was going to fire her.

 

The Doctor, who'd been sleeping in the bed, woke at the noise, peering over at her. "Are you alright?"

 

"I'm fine." She tried to keep her voice steady. She hadn't realized that he was in the bedroom and kept her face covered so he wouldn't see she was crying.

 

"You're on the ground." He murmured.

 

"I fell, I'm fine." She repeated, trying to get up, keeping her back to him.

 

He watched her, not believing her for a second. "Do you want the bedroom to yourself tonight?"

 

"I'll sleep on the couch." She whispered, limping to the door once she managed to get on her feet.

 

"You shouldn't have to do that." He frowned.

 

"Just go to sleep, please." Her voice broke on the last word.

 

He clenched his jaw. "Your foot..."

 

She ignored him, leaving the room and going down the stairs. She barely managed to make it with the pain from her ankle, melting into a chair at the kitchen table. She resumed her previous position now that she was alone again, shoulders shaking. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to regulate her breathing to stop crying.

 

Eventually, he pulled herself together enough to grab a piece of paper to write her letter of resignation. It was more than likely that she was going to get fired, but on the off chance that she wasn't, there was no way she was going to work under Mark anymore.

  
Toby, who'd been napping under the table, stirred slightly and moved to rest closer to her legs. She was obviously upset but the dog helped. He fell back asleep but was warm against her feet. Her whole ankle was swollen but she ignored it, putting her head down on the table.


	7. Like a Fog or Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short while later, there were footsteps on the stairs again. She looked up, half expecting to see another one of the kids coming downstairs. Instead, it was the Doctor.
> 
> "I thought you were going to bed." River murmured after watching him for a moment.
> 
> "I thought maybe we should talk." He murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which they finally start to talk about what happened. Short chapter, sorry. Enjoy!

**Ch 7**

 

The kitchen remained quiet save for Toby's snores and the hum of the refrigerator. Moonlight filtered thinly through the windows and door to the backyard. River began to fall asleep until a noise from the stairs got her attention. Little feet were making their way down one step at a time, a blanket dragging behind them. 

 

She looked up once the small figure stood in the doorway, "[Terra? My love why are you up?]" 

 

"[Bad dream.]" The girl signed slowly, hugging her blankie close. 

 

River beckoned her daughter over, pulling her into her lap. Terra gladly curled up against her mother. "[You weren't in your room.]" 

 

"[I just needed some space away from Daddy tonight.]" 

 

"[Why?]" She fretted. 

 

"[Because sometimes we need space away from each other.]" She rubbed the girl's back. 

 

"[But for how long?]" Terra looked up at her mum with round eyes. 

 

"[I don't know, my love.]" She kissed the top of her head. "[Why didn't you stay with Daddy in my room?]" 

 

"[I wanted  _ you _ .]" While she would've stayed with him otherwise, she was still adjusting to his new face. "[He was sleeping.]" 

 

"[Well, I'm afraid I won't be able to carry you back upstairs. I hurt my foot while I was out, so we're going to have to call him to carry you back up if you don't want to walk.]" Terra usually liked to be carried back to bed. 

 

Terra held onto River tighter, not wanting to go to bed until she understood what was going on and got consoled about her nightmare. "[What happened?]" 

 

"[I used my vortex manipulator to get home, but I fell when I was landing and I hurt myself which is why you always need to be careful with the vortex manipulator.]" River explained, rocking her back and forth, "[What was your nightmare about?]" 

 

She stuck her thumb in her mouth. "[There was a giant spider and it ate you and Toby and everyone and it was trying to eat me.]" 

 

"[Oh dear. Well I'm happy to say there are no giant spiders here and nobody has been eaten.]" 

 

"[What about little spiders? I don't want  _ any  _ spiders.]" 

 

"[Well, I promise that there are absolutely, positively no spiders.]" 

 

Terra relaxed with a small sigh that she probably didn't know she made. "[Are you and Daddy fighting?]" 

 

"[Yes, but I don't want to talk about it, my love. Don't worry, it'll work out soon.]" 

 

"[Promise?]" 

 

"[Promise. Do you want me to call him so he can carry you back up?]" 

 

Terra nodded. River called for her husband, continuing to rock the little girl. It wasn't actually very long before he came down the stairs and to the kitchen. 

 

"Terra had a nightmare, would you mind carrying her back to bed?" River asked, making as little eye contact as possible. 

 

He nodded silently and moved towards them, but paused. He looked at Terra, then River, then Toby and rerouted himself to go to the freezer instead. He took out an ice pack, wrapped in it a cloth, and put it on the table before moving to take Terra out of River's arms. 

 

"Thanks." She murmured, giving Terra one last kiss on the cheek, then using the ice pack to ice her ankle. 

 

Terra's eyes were drooping already, the Doctor rubbing her back. "Tell me when you need a new one." 

 

River nodded, though she didn't really plan on following through. He looked like he wanted to talk about what had happened that day, but stopped himself and took Terra back to bed. "Goodnight, River." 

 

"Goodnight..." She murmured. 

 

As the Doctor walked back up stirred Toby stirred a bit, crawling out from beneath the table. The dog knocked into River’s foot in the process, causing her to wince in pain. He stretched and yawned, looking up at her and putting his head on her leg. 

 

"Hello, Toby." She smiled weakly, stroking his head. He made a content noise at her, wagging his tail slowly. She scratched behind his ears for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet company of the large dog. 

 

A short while later, there were footsteps on the stairs again. She looked up, half expecting to see another one of the kids coming downstairs. Instead, it was the Doctor. 

 

"I thought you were going to bed." River murmured after watching him for a moment. 

 

"I thought maybe we should talk." He murmured. 

 

"About?" She hardly blinked. 

 

"This afternoon." 

 

She nodded slowly, "Okay." 

 

He took a breath. "I'm... sorry for snapping at you." 

 

"Which time?" She wasn't going to make this easy for him. 

 

"When we were trying to discuss what to tell everyone about my re- my changing." 

 

She nodded, "I'm sorry too." 

 

He glanced at the chair across from her, wondering if he should sit or if she didn't want this conversation to last very long. "It was a knee-jerk reaction that didn't really get across what I meant." 

 

She tensed, frowning at the confession that his first instinct was to yell at her, "So I guess I shouldn't expect that to be the last time it happens then." 

 

"No, that's not what you should expect. That's not what I meant." 

 

"Then what did you mean?" 

 

"I meant that it's my own responsibility to not jump to defense mechanisms. First day around people in a long time... I'll be needing practice." 

 

She nodded, watching the ground. She may have been more forgiving about his dying, but she wasn't going to forget what he had said about bottling up her feelings. That's what had hurt the most and she had trouble looking past that painful truth, even with his excuse. 

 

He finally moved to sit down. Toby didn't give him much acknowledgment, content by River's side. "So, erm, since I do happen to need work on social interactions... I would actually be thankful if you pointed out when I'm doing something wrong." 

 

"Well, aside from your interactions with me, you've been doing everything right." She pointed out, "The children, the store clerks, our friends..." 

 

He frowned as he processed what she'd said. His interactions with her were the one place he  _ really  _ wanted to get it right. "Oh..." 

 

"So maybe the problem isn't where you think it is." She whispered. 

 

He nodded silently. He knew on some level already that there was more than one problem, as there so often was. He had betrayed River's trust by lying to her about Gallifrey and there was no easy was to amend that. "Are you happy in this marriage, River?" 

 

"Are you?" She looked at him. 

 

"Yes. I am." He nodded. "But that wasn't my question." 

 

"I was..." She murmured. 

 

He swallowed hard. "Would an open marriage make you feel better?" 

 

"Like we had before?" Before the kids, before living together, that's what their marriage had been like. "I don't see what that would solve." 

 

"Your date tonight..." He started, then realized that was an assumption. "Was it a date?" 

 

She laughed bitterly, not because of him but at the memory of the earlier events of the evening, "It wasn't supposed to be." Her letter of resignation was still sitting on the table in front of her. 

 

He glanced down at it with confusion. "Right... well, your not-date, it just had me thinking that perhaps you want more sometimes. I don't pretend to be the perfect husband, I'm far from it, and it's- I don't know. I thought maybe it would be something you wanted to do again." 

 

"Will you be upset if I say yes to having an open relationship? Is that something you really want to do again?" She watched him carefully. 

 

"I think I would be fine with it... well, along as it's not just a tool to avoid me. Because I don't want you to feel trapped in a monogamous commitment, but I don't want to eradicate that commitment. I want to be able to work on fixing what I broke." 

 

She sighed, "Well, I'm afraid it wouldn't work anyway. It's too complicated with the children."

 

"Why is that?" 

 

"They wouldn't understand. I think it would only confuse and upset them. They'd be afraid that we didn't care about each other anymore and I don't want to put them through that. They've been through enough already." 

 

"Do we? Not care about each other anymore, I mean?" 

 

She swallowed, "I still care about you. Do you feel the same?" She couldn't help but remember that his hands no longer fit with hers. Perhaps that was a subconscious sign. 

 

"Yes. Always." He nodded. 

 

"Are you sure? Because..." She trailed off. 

 

He frowned. "Because what?" 

 

"Sometimes it just feels like you don't..." She whispered. 

 

"Sometimes as in all the time you've known me or sometimes as in since I came back?" 

 

"Since you've come back I suppose." 

 

"Well, my answer remains the same. I care." 

 

"Then I'll specify my question. Do you still love me? Or do you only care for me?" 

 

"I still  _ love  _ you." He was almost surprised that she doubted it, though remembered he hadn't exactly been doing a good job of showing it. She looked at his hands, not speaking. "...Do you still love me?" 

 

"Of course I do." She whispered. 

 

He clasped his hands together and rested his elbows on the table. "I have quite a bit of making up to do." 

 

She swallowed, "Yes, you do." There was a pause, "Our hands, they don't..." 

 

He looked down at her hands and then at his. "They don't?" 

 

"Fit together. Did you not notice?" 

 

He did a bit more looking. "No. I didn't." 

 

"Oh, well now you know." 

 

"That can't be right." He frowned. He remembered her pulling away from his hand back at the Hub, but he'd thought that was just because she didn't want his touch. 

 

She held her hand out for him. He tentatively reached out to meet her hand with his own.  Her fingers wrapped around his, watching him closely. He stared intensely at their junction, partially distracted by being able to touch her skin. "I'm not sure I see what you mean." 

 

"Well, if it doesn't bother you then it doesn't matter." She shook her head, moving to pull her hand away. 

 

He instinctively held on to her, then loosened his grip when he realized he'd tightened it. She froze when his hand tightened around hers, not moving once his grip had loosened. 

 

"Em, sorry." He took his hand back, worried that that had been the wrong thing. She shook her head, slowly taking her own hand back. 

 

There was silence again before, "I'm going to resign from Luna." 

 

His eyes fell back on the paper. "I thought you loved it there." 

 

"I do and I was offered the position of Head of the History Department. Unfortunately my years of experience, numerous awards and devotion to Luna University doesn't qualify me as much as sleeping as my boss would." She sighed. 

 

He started. "He tried to...?" 

 

She nodded, "You would think that the Head of the University Board would have more respect for me, but apparently not." 

 

"Can he not get fired for that?" 

 

"Yes, he could, but he's very popular among the staff, and I don't really have any proof that he did anything." She pinched the bridge of her nose. 

 

"That's terrible." He murmured.

 

She nodded again, "Do you think I'm doing the right thing by leaving?" 

 

"Well, um... I don't know… I think leaving guarantees you won't see that bastard again, but staying means you will. Staying would take more work, but it could mean pushing back." 

 

"I guess you're right." She whispered, "I'd hate to leave, I do love that job." 

 

"Then perhaps you should fight for it." 

 

She nodded, "I think I will." 

 

He smiled weakly. "How's your ankle?" 

 

"Sore." She murmured, looking down at it, "And probably sprained." 

 

"Do you want me to wrap it? We've got ACE bandages somewhere."

 

She nodded, "That would be nice." 

  
He rose, going to find them.


	8. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry." He whispered, not knowing what else to say. He hadn't wanted to stay away, but he had and there was nothing he really could say to make up for his actions hurting her. He hated that he'd been the one to make her feel like that. "I know that's a stupid thing to say and it changes nothing, but I really am sorry for what I did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idiots. They're dorky idiots. Enjoy!

**Ch 8**

 

The Doctor returned after a few minutes with what River needed for her foot. She shifted so she was sitting in a way that would make it easier for him to wrap her ankle. He carefully wrapped the material of the ACE bandage around her ankle and foot, trying to be gentle. She winced a few times, trying to keep still. 

"There we are." He murmured when he was finished. 

"Thank you." She whispered, quickly drawing her foot away. 

"Are you still sleeping on the couch?" 

She nodded.

"Do you want help over there?" 

"I can do it myself." She shook her head, "Does this mean our conversation is over?" 

"It doesn't have to be, I just thought you might be tired now." 

"I'm not a child. I can take care of myself." She whispered.

"I never said you were. I was only offering help because walking on that foot is going to be painful." 

"I'm fine." She insisted, "I can do it." 

"Fine then." He said quietly. Another pause. "Did you want to try to get all that talking in now or wait for morning?" 

"I think we need to get it all out now. If we wait, it probably won't actually happen." 

He nodded and went back to his seat. "You look like you have something to say." 

"I think we need to talk about the lying." 

"Right. The lying." 

"Why did you think that would be a better alternative than just telling me the truth? How can you expect me to trust you again after that?" 

He was quiet in thought for a minute. "To be honest, I'm not sure I do expect you to trust me again. I didn't think a lot of this would go the way it did." 

"It's  _ Gallifrey _ , Doctor. You should have expected it. You should have  _ talked to me _ ." 

"Yes. I should have." He nodded solemnly. "There's hindsight for you. Always working backward." He sighed. "Would you have tried to come with me?" 

"I don't know." She sighed, "I wouldn't have wanted you to go alone, that's for sure. I know Gallifrey is dangerous, and we have children that need to be looked after... I don't want you to feel like you have to lie to protect me." 

"I don't. Well... I guess I did and one time is all you need to fuck everything up." 

"It wasn't just a one-time thing. You have a history of lying to people, of lying to me. I thought we were past that, so when the lying returns you lose my trust." Her voice was raising. 

"You've made that pretty clear." He was making an attempt to keep his voice level, staring at a spot on the table. "I'm not a compulsive liar, River. I don't wake up until the morning thinking 'hmm, what lie am I going to tell my wife today?'. You and I, we both had to lie to each other for such a long time and that wasn't because either of us wanted to, it was because we had to. It was because we still had things like spoilers to worry about. We lie to our neighbors and our friends now, not because we want to, but because the truth will just put everyone in danger. We lie to our children about our own pasts so they're not as afraid of the rest of the universe as we are of the universe snatching them away. We tell them to carry out the same lies. It broke my hearts to lie to you. It breaks my hearts to lie to any of you, and I regret what it's done. But River, I will not regret for one moment the fact that you and our children are safe from my people." 

"You don't understand." She was getting rather upset, "I know we have lied to each other in the past, but there are no more spoilers. We lie to protect our friends, our neighbors, and our children to protect them, and that is an entirely different story. Never in my life have I been able to trust  _ anyone _ . I could never depend on anyone else to be honest with me, to respect me. I thought that we had gotten to a place where I trust you completely. I could depend on you. And then you left and didn't come back when you said you were going to. I went looking for you because I was worried, I thought something had happened. I went to Ohila and she said she hadn't seen you since the Time War. That's when I realized you had lied to me. I was  _ scared _ . I didn't know if you were coming back. I didn't know if I would ever see you again. You put me right back in the position that I was in 14 years ago. I was alone again. Do you know what it's like to finally, after centuries, feel like you have one person in the entire universe that you can trust and depend on only to have that all ripped away from you? If you had been honest, it doesn't mean that I would come with you. It doesn't mean the kids and I wouldn't have been safe. It means that I would have, at the very least, known where you were. You wouldn't have put me through that fear of being abandoned and  _ that  _ is what hurt me the most." She didn't think she had been this open about her feelings in a while. She was shaking. 

"I'm sorry." He whispered, not knowing what else to say. He hadn't wanted to stay away, but he had and there was nothing he really could say to make up for his actions hurting her. He hated that he'd been the one to make her feel like that. "I know that's a stupid thing to say and it changes nothing, but I really am sorry for what I did." 

She didn't say anything for a minute or so, trying to calm down and regain control, "I think that I'm going to need some time to forgive that." 

"I know. Is there anything I can do for you in this moment?" He asked. 

"I need you to show me that you're going to be here for me." She whispered. She wanted to ask for comfort, but she was afraid that he would reject that. 

He slowly rose, moving to her side of the table. He reached for her hand, then paused, "May I?" 

She nodded. 

He took one of her hands with both of his, moving his thumbs experimentally across the back of her hand and across her knuckles. He turned her hand over and traced the lines of her palm with great attention before slowly lifting it to his lips and kissing it gently. "I'm going to do my absolute best to be there for you." 

She nodded, though her hand trembled slightly in his. He held her hand quietly, watching her face with guilt and gratefulness. 

Toby decided to move back under the table when she pulled him a bit closer, going back to sleep. 

"I missed you." She murmured after a bit of silence. 

"I've missed you, too." He squeezed her hand. "Very, very much." 

"We still have to work out what we're going to tell everyone." 

He nodded and sighed. "Yes, we should probably do that." 

"We can say that you're someone from work." She murmured, repeating his earlier idea. 

"I thought you didn't like that idea." 

"I don't." She shook her head, "But no other explanation is going to sound any more normal, so we might as well go with your idea." 

"Alright." He nodded.  

"What's your name? You probably shouldn't be John Smith again." She reasoned. 

"No, probably not. Maybe..." He looked at the window, into the back garden, spotting a plant. "Basil? There are still people named Basil, aren't there?" 

"Well, not really, but that doesn't mean it can't be your name." 

"I can't remember what basil tastes like." He murmured. 

"Well, I can make something tomorrow with basil in it." She offered. 

"That might be nice." He hummed. 

"Yes, it might be." She nodded, "Though I'm afraid neither of us has ever been terribly good cooks, so I can't say it'll be the best meal you've ever had." 

"That's alright. I've been eating sewage soup for the past hundred years, I'm sure anything will be better than that." 

She smiled weakly, "How's your memory doing?" 

"It's getting better." He took the same expression. "Still a few foggy spots, but when aren't there." 

She nodded, "Of course." 

"The kids and I were exploring the TARDIS a bit today. The swimming pool got bigger." 

"Oh, that sounds nice. Are the bedrooms still the same?" 

"For the most part. Terra got a new wallpaper that's green now. And the girls' room it a bit bigger." 

"That's good. They needed a bigger room." She nodded, "Is our room the same?" 

"Yes. Well, the closets got some new choices, but other than that, yes." 

"I see." She stared at him for several minutes, just taking in his new face. He wanted to ask again what she thought, only having heard from her that he's old and Scottish- two things he’d already figured out. 

"Those eyebrows are rather spectacular." She teased lightly. 

He waggled them experimentally. "We're about to have two fully-fledged teenagers in the house. Can't scold teenagers without a serious look." 

She smiled genuinely, "That is very true. Does that mean I finally get to be the good cop when it comes to discipline?" 

He chuckled. "Probably" 

She studied his face for another minute, "I think you look very handsome." 

"Do you? That's a relief." 

She reached out to touch his cheek. He put his hand over hers, exhaling slowly. As she watched his face, she began to feel as though she had been a bit too hard on him. 

"After being away for hundreds of years...you still came back to me." 

"Where else would I go but home?"' He asked. 

"I didn't think you considered our flat your home." She whispered. 

"Actually I was talking about you." He whispered. 

"Me?" She whispered. 

"Yes, you. You're my wife. Your voice in my head kept me going all that time." 

She pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around him, not knowing how else to respond. He stilled out of surprise but quickly accepted the hug. She held him close, feeling a bit guilty that she had been so cold when he had first gotten back. 

He sighed contently into her warmth, her touch enough to make him forget his own guilt for a moment. 

"I'm sorry." 

He pulled back to look at her. "Why is that?" 

"I feel like I was too hard to you. I didn't give you enough credit." 

"Credit is overrated, and I deserved some of that scolding." 

"But still, I should have at least said hello before going off on you." 

He met her eyes softly. "Hello." 

"Hello." She smiled. 

"There now, better?" She nodded. "We can have all the hellos we want." 

"Yes, we can." She murmured. 

He held her again, glad to be in her arms. 

"I think I've changed my mind about where I'm going to sleep." 

"Is that so?" 

"I think I'll sleep in our room tonight." 

He paused for a moment. "Em, does that mean you want me on the couch or with you?" 

"It means I want you with me in our bed, idiot." 

He relaxed. "Thank you… Still mad, though?" 

"Vexed.” She smiled. “ And I think I may need a bit of help up the stairs." 

"Of course" He moved to help her. She leaned on him for support so they could get up the stairs together. It was a slow effort, but they eventually made it to the bedroom. 

"Can you unzip me?" She asked, wanting to change since she was still wearing the dress from her earlier dinner engagement. He nodded, going behind her and pulling down her zipper. 

She briefly wondered if his opinions on her regarding intimacy had changed with his regeneration. She voiced the thought, “Do you have changed thoughts about me now that you’ve changed?” 

"I rather think I find all of you just as brilliant as ever." 

She nodded, smiling weakly. He went to her dresser and got a nightie so she wouldn't have to walk over there herself. "Thank you." She slid the other dress off her shoulder, letting it pool around her feet. 

He stole a glance or two at her as she changed. She didn't seem to notice, limping over to the bed. 

"You should sleep in in the morning." He murmured, getting in bed with her.

"It's hard to sleep in when you have four children." She smiled weakly. 

"It's Saturday. Let me cook up breakfast and you can sleep a bit." 

"Okay, but if there are any problems I want you to wake me up." 

He nodded. "It'll be fine." 

"I'm sure it will be." 

He took her hand again. "Goodnight, River." 

  
"Goodnight."


	9. Stones Upon Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked at the Doctor. "He's still old."
> 
> "Yes, darling, I told you he was going to look like this from now on, remember?" River stopped what she was doing, giving her son her full attention now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from: "...their stories, and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their lives. " --Mitch Albom
> 
> Enjoy!

**Ch 9**

 

In the morning, Terra woke the Doctor and the two of them went to the kitchen without waking River. 

 

"[Can we have waffles and ice cream?]" Terra asked, dragging her blankie around with her. 

 

"[Not today.]" The Doctor replied, rummaging in the fridge. He was trying to remember the things he knew how to cook and waffles wasn't one of them. "[Do you know what eggs Benedict is?]" Tera shook her head. "[It's like eggs and ham on toast but better.]" 

 

Terra blinked, "[Arthur doesn't like eggs for breakfast remember?]" For the past month or so Arthur had been refusing to eat any eggs.

 

"[Oh... what else goes with ham?]" 

 

"[Cheese! We can have grilled cheese with ham for breakfast!]" 

 

"[Now there's a brilliant idea.]" He ruffled her hair and grabbed the cheese. Melting cheese couldn't be too hard, could it? 

 

Terra beamed, "[I'm the smartest one! That's what you always say!]" 

 

"[Is that what I say? Well I must be right.]" He smiled affectionately. 

 

Terra nodded, obviously agreeing. He got the other ingredients together and a pan and started cooking what he could remember. 

 

"[Can we have tomato soup too?]" 

 

He hesitated. "[I don't think I remember how to make that.]" 

 

"[Mummy can make it!]" 

 

He glanced at the time. "[We should probably let her sleep some more.]" 

"[But Mummy knows how to make the best tomato soup!]" The little girl protested. 

 

He thought about it. "[Why don't I finish cooking this and then you can wake Mummy?]" That would at least give River a little longer to enjoy sleep. 

 

Terra nodded in agreement and her father got back to work cooking, Samantha and Mr Thomas wandering in. 

 

Terra played with the cats on the kitchen floor, then went to find the dog, though she ended up falling asleep next to him under the table. The Doctor put the food on a plate and looked around for his daughter, smiling when he saw her. He reached under the table and scooped her up, moving to the couch. 

 

He sat with her in his arms thinking about all that had happened in the past day and what had happened on Gallifrey, cringing a little at those memories. 

 

After about ten minutes, River's footsteps could be heard creeping softly down the stairs. He turned his head to acknowledge her. 

 

"Morning." She murmured, "What are you doing?" 

 

"Sitting." He nodded to the girl in his lap. 

 

"Obviously." She sighed, "I mean how did she fall asleep? What were you two doing?" 

 

"I was cooking and she found Toby under the table." He murmured. 

 

River  smiled softly, "My sweet girl." 

 

He shared her expression. "She wanted to wake you up to make tomato soup. She says you make it best." 

 

"I'll make it in a minute." She murmured, sitting beside him, delicately touching the girl's hair. Terra shifted slightly to her mother's touch. 

 

"I could swear her hair his getting curlier." 

 

"You think so?" She asked, eyes still fixed on the little girl. He nodded and River added, "She looks so much like...you did." She breathed. 

 

"A slight consolation if you ever miss my old face." He said, trying the brush it off. River nodded, looking away. "I made grilled cheese and ham." He changed the subject. 

 

"Mmm." She hummed, "Was that Terra's idea?" 

 

"Yeah. Apparently, Arthur doesn't like eggs anymore." 

 

"Yes, it's been an ongoing struggle to get him to eat eggs." She murmured. 

 

"No worries about that this morning, though. How did you sleep?" 

 

"Very well." She smiled, "Thank you for letting me sleep in, it was a nice change." 

 

He nodded, guiltily realizing she'd probably not been sleeping well the past few weeks due to his disappearance. "Good." 

 

"And you? Did you sleep alright?" She asked. 

 

"Best I've slept in years." He replied, which truly wasn’t an exaggeration (least it was a good sleep after she'd joined him). 

 

She smiled, "I'm glad. The kids probably won't be up for a while. Terra usually gets up first, Arthur and the twins won't be awake for another hour or so." She reminded him.  

 

"Oh. I suppose I should've waited to cook so much. The three of us can eat, though." 

 

She nodded, "Waiting would have been a better option. We can eat, but Terra should sleep. She hasn't been sleeping well lately." River looked at her daughter. 

 

The Doctor wondered if that was also due to his absence. "How's she doing in school?" 

 

"I had a meeting with her teacher on Thursday. She said Terra's been having a bit of trouble the last few weeks." River sighed. 

 

"Trouble how?" He frowned. 

 

"She hasn't been focused. She has been having trouble with some of the maths lessons..." River said slowly. Although Terra's class was only really focusing on the number line and shapes, the Doctor was usually the one to help her practice. "She's usually so excited in class..." 

 

"I know." She looked away from him, "I think she was a bit...distracted, that's all." 

 

"I see." He nodded slowly. 

 

"Hopefully she'll be a bit more focused next week." 

 

"Hopefully." He echoed. 

 

"She missed you a lot." 

 

Terra started to stir and he rubbed her back. "I missed her, too." 

 

River nodded, "I don't doubt that you did." 

 

Terra yawned and blinked awake. "[Mummy!]" 

 

"[Hello, darling.]" She smiled, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

 

"[Are you going to make soup?]" 

 

"[Of course I will.]" She nodded, "[Anything for you, my sweet]" 

 

Terra moved from the Doctor's lap. "[I want to help.]" 

 

"[Alright, let's go wash our hands and then we can make it together. Maybe we can teach Daddy, too, so he knows for next time.]" 

 

Terra nodded and hopped over to the kitchen. 

 

"How's your ankle?" The Doctor asked, offering Rover a hand up. 

 

She accepted his help, "It hurts, but I can manage." 

 

"Alright, but sit if you need to."

 

"Yes, Doctor." She murmured, watching Terra push a chair over to the sink so she could reach it to wash her hands. "She's gotten so big." 

 

"That's the thing about children." He murmured. 

 

"Time is never on our side." She sighed. 

 

"She not going anywhere." He reminded. 

 

"Maybe not yet, but one day she will." She looked down, "And...I worry about that." 

 

"She's only five, River. Do you think she won't visit us when she's grown?" 

 

"I just don't want what happened to you happen to her." She whispered. 

 

He was silent for a moment. "She'll always come back to us. I came back to you, didn't I?" 

 

"I know." She shook her head, "I know, but I want her to be safe." 

 

Terra interrupted any response the Doctor had. "[Mummy I'm all clean!]" 

 

"[Oh good!]" River put on a smile, going to wash her hands as well. "[Now, let's see first we need tomatoes. Do you want to fetch them from the garden?]" 

 

Terra nodded and hurried out the back door to the garden. River watched her go, then got out a pot and set it on the stove. 

 

"Anything I can do?" The Doctor asked. 

 

"Can you get an onion and chicken broth out of the cabinet?" 

 

He nodded and got the items for her. River got to work making the soup, letting Terra help her once she returned with the tomatoes. 

 

Arthur wandered down the stairs at the smell of the food. 

 

"Good morning," River called, smiling at him. 

 

He peered at what they were doing. "Tomato soup for breakfast?" 

 

"Yes, Daddy made grilled cheese so we're having grilled cheese and tomato soup." 

 

He looked at the Doctor. "He's still old." 

 

"Yes, darling, I told you he was going to look like this from now on, remember?" River stopped what she was doing, giving her son her full attention now. 

 

"Yeah but... forever? Really forever?" 

 

She glanced at the Doctor, "Yes, really forever." She placed the lid on the pot to let the soup simmer, then went to take Arthur's hand, "Would you like to sit with me on the sofa? I think we should all talk some more."  

 

He nodded and Terra asked what was going on. River beckoned Terra and her husband over, sitting on the sofa beside Arthur, "[Now, I think we need to talk about what's going to happen from now on. And if you have questions, you can feel free to ask them.]" She both signed and spoke. 

 

"[About Daddy's face?]" Terra clarified. 

 

"[Yes, about that.]" She nodded, "[It's not going to go away. It's going to stay like that until the next time he regenerates.]" 

 

"[You said he only did that if he got really hurt.]" Terra frowned. 

 

"[Yes, I did.]" She nodded. 

 

"How did he get hurt?" Arthur had a similar expression. River signed Arthur’s words for Terra.

 

"[I-]' She looked at the Doctor, "[I don't know.]" 

 

The Doctor wasn't sure if River wanted him to tell that story since it wasn't really all that child-friendly. She watched him, leaving it up to him to make the decision. "[The place I went to…]" He started. "[It had some bad people who wanted to hurt all of you, so rather than letting them do that, I let them hurt me instead.]" 

 

"[What place?]" Terra asked. 

 

He hesitated. "[Gallifrey.]" 

 

"Isn't that where you're from?" Arthur frowned. 

 

"[That's right.]" He nodded. 

 

"Why would they hurt you?" 

 

"[Because I was getting in their way of finding here]." 

 

"Here to hurt us?" 

 

He nodded. "[Yes that's what they were trying to do. But they won't.]" 

 

"Why would they want to hurt us? Did we do something wrong?" 

 

"[No, Arthur, you did absolutely nothing wrong. There was a prophesy they were afraid of-- an old story, about someone who would one day come to Gallifrey and destroy it. They thought because of the description of that someone, that it would be one of you.]" 

 

Arthur frowned, "I don't want to hurt anybody. I wouldn't destroy Gallifrey. And neither would Amelia or Freya or Terra." He looked up at River, "Did they think it was Mummy?" 

 

"[They didn't know which one of you it might be, but yes, Mummy was one of the possibilities.]"

 

Terra crawled onto River's lap, hugging her tightly. "[I don't want them to hurt Mummy!]" She worried. 

 

"[Nobody is going to hurt me.]" River comforted, kissing the top of her head. The children were well aware that their Mum had more enemies than friends. 

 

The girls were making their way down the stairs now, having been partly listening to their conversation. 

 

"[It's alright. Daddy protected us.]" River rubbed Terra’s back soothingly. 

 

"[But what if they come and get you anyway? If they're like Daddy, then they're smart and can find you.]" 

 

She looked to the Doctor for help. 

 

"[I did my best to make sure they couldn't track me. That's why I didn't have our TARDIS with me. That's why I crashed that other one.]" 

 

Terra nuzzled into River, only slightly comforted. 

 

"Mum?" The twins walked in. "Are you in danger?" 

 

"[No, I promise I'm not.]" 

 

They looked between themselves, unsure. They'd gotten a less watered down version of the story yesterday and knew just how desperate the Timelords were. 

 

River glanced at the Doctor, wondering if her promise was really true. He tried to look assuring but he knew nothing was 100% guaranteed. 

 

River tried to smile. "Since we're all up, what do you lot think of a family breakfast?" 

 

The children nodded slowly, going to sit at the table. The adults stayed behind for a moment. 

 

"Was that alright?” The Doctor.

 

"I think so. Nothing was ever going to be completely comforting..." 

 

"No, not unless I'd lied, but I think I learned my lesson about that." 

 

She went quiet again, smoothing her hand down her front. 

 

He bit his tongue. "Breakfast?" 

 

She nodded, going to sit with the kids. The food was portioned out for everyone to eat, the meal starting off quiet. 

 

The tension in the air slowly began to dissolve as the meal continued, the children talking more and more. Terra expressed her excitement for her older sisters' football match today. It was supposed to be part of a family day in which there would be a some all-family inclusive pre-games which Terra was eager to participate in. 

 

River smiled at the children's excitement, though she was a bit anxious since it would be the first time the Doctor was going to see their friends since his return. "[Since humans don't know about regeneration, we're going to have to...make some things up.]" She informed. 

 

"[Like what?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[Well, we can't tell them that Daddy is really Daddy.]" She responded, "[Right now, we're going to say he's my friend from work who's come to stay with us.]" She looked at the Doctor. 

 

"What do we say happened to Daddy?" Arthur asked. 

 

River bit her lip, having trouble saying what she and the Doctor had planned on. 

 

"Just say whatever you were telling people before." The Doctor said, deciding against what they'd planned. 

 

River looked at him, a crease in her brow, "Doctor..." 

 

"It'll ruin the day if we say... the other thing." 

 

She nodded, looking down at her lap. She agreed with him, though she knew they'd have to tell the other… thing eventually. 

 

"What have you been saying? That I'm on a work trip?" He said more gently. 

 

River nodded, "Yes, it's what made sense." 

 

He turned to the kids. "I'd like you all to continue telling people that this weekend." 

 

They nodded, "Okay." 

 

"I guess that's settled for now." He murmured. "We should bring Toby." 

 

"I don't know if Toby can last all day with all those kids." River murmured, "But we can bring him if you want." 

 

"Mum?" Freya asked. "What happened to your foot?" 

 

"Oh, I hurt it when I was using my vortex manipulator last night. Don't worry, it's nothing serious, it just needs to be wrapped for a few days." 

 

"But now you can't play football with us." 

 

She smiled softly, "It's alright, I'll watch and cheer you on." 

 

Terra looked a bit disappointed, but the twins seemed alright with it. 

 

River touched her daughter's head, "Eat up, darling. We have to start getting ready to go soon." 

  
Terra nodded, finishing her soup. 


	10. High Tide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So how long exactly have you two known each other?"
> 
> "Oh, probably… Twenty-four years." River shrugged.
> 
> "Really? You've never mentioned him before. Is he in your department?"
> 
> "Yes, he is...well...sort of..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late, but here ya go. I'd just like to say that I enjoyed writing the dynamic between all the kids. Enjoy!

**Ch 10**

 

The children all got into their football uniforms quickly while the Doctor got Toby's leash. River made sure they had everything they needed for their morning: water bottles, band-aids, and post-game snacks among the items.

 

Soon they were out the door, walking at a stroll so Toby wouldn't tire. Terra was the only one not strolling, jumping and bopping around, unable to contain her excitement. 

 

They got to the park where the event was being held, looking for a spot on the ground to claim as theirs for the time being. Arthur pointed over to an empty spot where one of his friends was near. River glanced at the Doctor, trying to hide how unsure she was about him being there as the family went to settle in. 

 

They were right between a tree and Will's family, whom Arthur ran to greet. Toby settled close to the tree while the twins helped lay out their picnic blanket. 

 

"So," The Doctor whispered to his wife, "Am I to let you do the talking?" 

 

"Yes, I think that would be best." River murmured, glancing at Will's parents. They were making their way over to River and the Doctor, looking friendly and like they were about to trap them into small talk. 

 

"Hello." River smiled once the couple was is conversation distance, "How are you?" 

 

"We're well," Cathy replied, looking at the Doctor. "Is John still on his trip?" 

 

"Yes, I'm afraid he is." She nodded, "Though I've been so fortunate to have Basil here helping me with the children. Basil works at the University with me and he's been a family friend for years." 

 

"Good to meet you." The Doctor said, extending his hand. 

 

Cathy shook his hand, "How nice of you to stay with River. I know trying to handle four different schedules on one's own can be quite a handful." 

 

"I'm glad to help." He murmured, not knowing how to give a reply longer than that. 

 

The woman quickly launched into a conversation about the school's latest fundraiser, not giving Basil much thought. “How much longer will John be away, do you think?" Cathy asked when she was done with her ramble. "He's had to miss our monthly tea sitting." 

 

River found that she had trouble answering this question, her voice almost catching, "I don't really know. He's hard to get in touch with right now and his plans keep changing..." 

 

"I thought his job was always so flexible." Nigel frowned. 

 

"Usually it is." She nodded, "However, every so often he gets called away like this." 

 

"Maybe you should fly out to him and give him a surprise visit." He chuckled. "Cathy does that for me sometimes when I travel. We leave Will with a sitter." 

 

River smiled weakly, "I would love to but with the children...I shouldn't." She glanced at the Doctor. 

 

"I'm sure he'll come home soon," Cathy assured. "So how long exactly have you two known each other?" 

 

"Oh, probably… Twenty-four years." River shrugged. 

 

"Really? You've never mentioned him before. Is he in your department?" 

 

"Yes, he is...well...sort of..." 

 

"I used to be, but I teach languages now." The Doctor said. 

 

"Yes, he's absolutely brilliant. Just like John." 

 

"Are they close?" Nigel wondered. 

 

"Oh, yes. Practically the same person." She looked at the Doctor, "But at the same time, very...very different." 

 

"Different good or different bad?" The Doctor asked. River tensed but didn't answer. 

 

Cathy cleared her throat. "Well, do pass on our regards to John. Tell him to hurry back." 

 

"I will." She tried to smile. 

 

Terra came up to her parents, "[Can I have a juice box now?]" 

 

"[Of course, darling.]" 

 

"[Freya's guarding the basket.  _ You  _ hafta tell her I can have one or she won't believe me.]" 

 

"[Okay.]" River walked behind her daughter, to the basket, leaving “Basil” to fend for himself. "Freya, dear, can Terra have her juice box?" 

 

"I thought we were going to save them for lunch?" Freya frowned. 

 

"[I packed a few extra so she can have one now.]" River assured. Freya didn't look too pleased but moved aside. Terra delightedly retrieved her juice box. 

 

"Everything alright?" River asked her older daughter. 

 

"I wanted to save one for Ben." She admitted. Ben was a boy in her maths class as well as her crush, which she'd told River two weeks ago. 

 

"Oh, I see." River murmured, "Well how about you ask Ben if he wants to get ice cream after the match, it'll be my treat." 

 

Freya looked surprised. "Really?" River nodded and Freya smiled, looking a few keys happier.

 

“Why don't you go find your friends?"  

 

Freya nodded and went to find Amelia who'd done so earlier. River watched her go, folding her arms. 

 

Terra looked up at her mum. "[What's wrong?]" 

 

River shook her head, "[Nothing, sweetie]" 

 

"[Can we play football soon?]" 

 

"[Yes, maybe Arthur will let you play with him?]"

 

"[Okay!]" She was bouncing already. River pointed out where Arthur had run off to so Terra could go play, taking the free time she now had to set up the blanket. 

 

The Doctor came over after a bit, having wiggled his way out of the conversation he'd been barely keeping up with their friends. "Need any help?" 

 

"I think I've got it." She murmured. 

 

"Alright." He nodded, sitting down next to Toby. "Kids with their friends?" 

 

"Yes, they've all gone off to play. And I promised Freya we'd get ice cream after." 

 

"Ah. I'm sure the others will be pleased about that." 

 

"Yes, I'm sure."

 

They were quiet for a few moments. 

 

"Was this morning too much? What I told the kids, I mean?" 

 

She closed her eyes, "I don't know. I don't want to lie to them but...I don't want them to be afraid either." 

 

"I don't know of both is possible." He admitted.  

 

"I know." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say, not thinking he could offer much comfort. 

 

River looked up after a few minutes, looking out at the field, not really at the Doctor. Terra and Arthur were visible from their spot. The two had found a few other kids of similar age to practice kicking around a ball with. She watched in silence, a worry-crease forming on her forehead. 

 

He looked slowly between the kids and her. "Do you think they'll find us?" 

 

"I don't know, do you?" She murmured, looking up at him. 

 

He looked at his hands. "I never like being certain."  

 

She nodded. A part of her wished for some kind of affection as comfort, but then again they were in public posing as platonic friends, and besides, they hadn't done  _ that  _ yet. 

 

"If worst comes to worst," He murmured, "we can protect them." 

 

"I'd rather not think about that right now." 

 

He nodded and quieted himself. "Terra looks like she's having fun." 

 

"Yes, she certainly does. She's loving it." 

 

"Does her school do football club?" 

 

"I think so, but she won't be eligible until next fall." River murmured. 

 

"We should ask her if she wasn't to join it." He hummed  

 

She nodded, "I'm sure she'll be thrilled to join." 

 

They talked lightly about Terra for a little while, it seeming to be a safe subject for them. River was making an effort, though it was emotionally difficult. The question he had asked earlier about his differences from his last face had thrown her off and a part of her mind was still trying to figure out the answer. 

 

Eventually, the twins' match was starting, so the two of them and Toby moved to find a seat to watch. They cheered as enthusiastically as they could muster with their unspoken burdens on their shoulders. 

 

The twins won their match, which was followed by a tie from Arthur's team. By that time, Terra had wiggled into her mother's lap to watch and was making various cheers both vocally and in sign. 

 

After the games, the children were thrilled to be informed that they were getting ice cream as a special treat. Ben's parents had agreed to let him go with the Songs, trusting River would bring him back later. They packed up and started walked to the parlor.

 

"That's Freya's crush." River whispered to her husband as their daughter and the boy walked ahead of them. 

 

"Crush?" His eyebrows went up. "Isn't she a bit young for that?" 

 

"I don't think so. I think it's rather adorable." 

 

"He's a pudding brain." He muttered. "Not the best pick of the lot."

 

"You hardly know him. Do you even know his name?" 

 

"Em... no." He admitted. 

 

"His name is Ben, and,  from what I heard from our daughter, he sounds rather sweet." 

 

She captured his hand in hers without really thinking. He glanced quickly down at where their hands met, not daring to point anything out lest she changed her mind and took her hand away. 

 

"Thirteen-year-old boys are not my idea of sweet." He murmured.

 

"I have a feeling you just think that because our daughter likes him. He could be her first boyfriend… I do hope that won't cause all your hair to fall out." She teased. 

 

"No dating until she's fifteen." He grumbled followed by something about humans being idiotic and their daughter deserving more than just a 21st-century pea-brain. 

 

"Well, I'll leave it up to you to tell her that." She murmured, "Though, in her defense, I'm fairly certain dating at thirteen only means holding hands and eating lunch together." 

 

"It better be." He huffed. 

 

She looked up at him, "I promise you it is." 

 

He relaxed slightly. "I'll trust your word." 

 

She nodded, continuing to watch his face. He met her eyes when he realized hers were lingering. "Something the matter?" 

 

She shook her head, quickly looking away, "No, no..." 

 

He frowned. "If you say so..." 

 

She looked back at him, "Why are you frowning?" 

 

"I'm trying to figure out what was on your mind." 

 

"I'm fine." She gave him a weak smile, letting go of his hand. "There's nothing to figure out." 

 

He exhaled slowly, forcing the frown off his face and trying not to deflate at the loss of her hand. 

 

By that time, they had made it to the ice cream shop. The children picked out their ice cream, Terra bouncing with excitement, wanting to try all the flavors for the hundredth time. 

 

River was quieter than usual. Usually, she and the Doctor shared an ice cream when they came with the children, though today she ordered a separate one. The Doctor didn't order any, finding them all a both to sit in. 

 

The kids all clambered in the booth, Freya and Ben sitting next to each other, with River beside them, while Terra, Arthur, and Amelia sat next to the Doctor. (Toby was tied to a bench and waiting outside.) 

 

The Doctor looked over Ben suspiciously as the children dug into their ice creams. Ben just so happened to be sitting across from the Time Lord, innocently eating his ice cream. Freya gave him a look to stop glaring, an expression not far from one her mother could make. 

 

He begrudgingly stopped, glancing between his wife and other children instead. "So... Ben. You have a class with Freya?" 

 

The boy nodded, "Maths and English." 

 

"Math  _ and  _ English." He echoed. "Are they good classes?" 

 

The boy nodded again, "I like science the best. I want to be an astronaut!" 

 

"A bit ambitious." He muttered. "Most of the first people on Mars were women. Will be women." 

 

"Well, Freya said I'm the smartest boy she's ever met, so I think I can do it." He boasted slightly as Freya's face turned bright red. 

 

He looked between the two, resisting the urge to say more as Arthur chuckled at his sister. “It'll be hard work." 

 

River was glaring at him to stop now, trying to save her daughter from further embarrassment. Terra offered an accidental, well-timed distraction, asking her father for a napkin for her ice cream covered face.

He put his focus on Terra, helping her clean up her face. 

 

She wiggled and tried to squirm away when he did so. 

 

“[You've got to stay still so I can get the ice cream cleaned up.]" He urged. 

 

She tried to push his hands away, "[You're hurting me!]" 

 

He halted, pulling his hands back. He'd been sure he was being gentle enough. "[...Sorry.]" 

 

She wiggled out of the booth, running over to her mother. She turned herself so the Doctor couldn't see her signing. "[I don't like him cleaning my face.]" 

 

River glanced at the Doctor, "[Why not, love?]" 

 

"[I don't want him to touch me.]" She pouted. 

 

She frowned slightly, "[Okay...I'll do it.]" 

 

Terra quietly let River wipe up her face, looking down. River gave her a kiss on the forehead once she was all cleaned up. Terra reached up, wanting to sit in her lap. River lifted her up, wrapping her arms around her. 

 

"[Why is he so different?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[We talked about this already.]" River sighed. 

 

"[I mean on the inside. He's not funny and happy anymore.]" 

 

She bit her lip, "[I don't know...Do you miss the other him?]" 

 

She nodded slowly. "[He would've played football with me... Alex kept asking who he was.]" 

 

River smiled sadly, "[Do you want to know a secret? I miss him too.]" 

 

"[How do you make it go away?]" 

 

"[I'm afraid you can't make it go away, it's going to be there forever. But as time goes on, the missing will be less painful. It'll get better.]" 

 

"[I don't like it.]" She put her head on her mother's shoulder. River hugged her daughter close, sighing. She wished she could take away all the little girl's pain and absorb it into her own. She wished that she could give her another day with the father that would have played with her and gotten ice cream all over his shirt to match his daughter. She held her and willed all the pain to go away, and not just her daughter's pain, but her own pain as well. 

 

It was a bit of an odd setting to have such a moment in the middle of an ice cream shop, but the other Song children empathized just the same, Terra and River's emotions clear without having to have seen the conversation. 

 

"Can we go home?" Amelia asked. 

 

River nodded, "Of course, but we have to take Ben home first." 

 

"Already?" Freya pouted. 

 

"Yes, I'm afraid so." She tried to give her an assuring smile. 

 

"I had fun," Ben said to Freya. 

  
"Me too." Freya blushed. Amelia nudged Arthur with her elbow with a muffled laugh. Freya shot them a look, walking ahead of them with the boy as they left the shop.


	11. If Our Love is Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River went over to the phone, picking it up, "Hello?"
> 
> "Rivah?" It was the Doctor.
> 
> Her hearts stopped and she grabbed onto the bed frame to steady herself. This wasn’t the voice of the Scottish man in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of angst, a bit of smut. Enjoy!

**Ch 11**

 

Terra clung to River's hand as they left the shop. River gave her daughter’s hand a squeeze in tight assurance. Though Toby was being walked by the Doctor, the dog opted to be close the grieving pair. 

 

The family walked Ben back to his house, neither River nor Terra saying much at the time. Carol and Nigel thanked River and "Basil" for everything and Ben invited Freya to sit at his lunch table on Monday.

 

Freya was probably the only member of the Song family smiling as they walked home, still floating from her 'date.' 

 

When they got home Amelia declared rights to the shower while Arthur and Freya went to poke around the kitchen. Terra still stayed with her mother. 

 

River let Terra cling to her legs, deciding to occupy her, "[Would you like to come read a story with me?]" 

 

Terra nodded quickly at that. The Doctor swallowed and went to help Arthur and Freya get snacks. 

 

River went to sit with her daughter on the couch, reading a few books with her to occupy her mind. Terra was feeling better by the end of the books, if not by the distraction then by the comfort her mother was offering by reading them. 

 

"[Have you ever changed your face, Mummy?]" 

 

"[Yes, but it was a very long time ago, before Daddy and I were even married.]" 

 

"[How'd you get hurt?]" 

 

"[Well, the second time I regenerated, I got shot by Adolf Hitler.]" 

 

She wrinkled her nose. "[Who's that?]" 

 

"[You'll learn more about him when you're older.]" She stroked Terra’s hair. 

 

"[Did you shoot him back?]" 

 

"[I think this is all a story for another time.]" She sighed, "[Why don't you go see what Arthur.]" 

 

"[But I want to know what you used to look like.]" Terra insisted. 

 

"[I'll find some pictures you can look at later, my love.]" River assured. 

 

Terra looked satisfied at that. "[Do you have pictures of all of Daddy's faces? I want to see those, too.]" 

 

She nodded, "[I'll find those too.]" 

 

Terra smiled, then went to go find Arthur. River stood, looking around for her husband. 

 

He was in their bedroom, puttering over things on the desk. River knocked lightly on the doorframe to alert him that she was there. He turned around, holding a little, sculpted paperweight shaped like an octopus. 

 

"Are you alright?" She asked, coming into the room and closing the door. 

 

"I bought this for you, didn't I?" He asked. 

 

She nodded, "It was from a market on Glasto." 

 

"I can't remember why I did." 

 

"I don't remember why either. I think it was just because you wanted to give me a gift." 

 

"Ah." He nodded. "How was story time?" 

 

River shrugged, "I think Terra's calmed down a bit now." 

 

"That's good." He murmured. 

 

"Are you alright?" She repeated, watching him closely. 

 

"Bit frustrated." He admitted, replacing the paperweight on the desk. 

 

"In what way?" 

 

"At my brain mostly." He sighed, though both of them knew he was really just discomforted by Terra’s apprehension to him. "It still feels foggy." 

 

"Is there anything I can help with?" She asked softly. 

 

He looked up at her, then the desk. "This one?" He picked up a bracelet.

 

"A birthday gift from you." She murmured. 

 

He looked at it for a moment, smiled weakly, and put it down. "I took you dancing." 

 

She nodded, "It's a rather common theme with us." 

 

He started humming, managing an off-key version of the song they'd danced to at their second wedding. She smiled weakly, taking a few steps closer to him so she was in arm's reach. 

 

"I can remember the song, but can't remember the dance." He said. 

 

"I would show you, but it's a bit complicated." She murmured. 

 

Just then the phone by the bed rang. River went over to the phone, picking it up, "Hello?" 

 

"Rivah?" It was the Doctor. 

 

Her hearts stopped and she grabbed onto the bed frame to steady herself. This wasn’t the voice of the Scottish man in front of her. "Doctor?" 

 

"Yeah, it's me." He sounded out of breath and was talking quickly. "Listen, River, I may have gotten myself into a bad situation." 

 

"I-" She breathed, closing her eyes trying to focus, "It's alright, just calm down." 

 

"Not exactly a good time for being calm." He said. "They're going to lock me away, I think. In a very bad place. If-- when they find me. This isn't me asking for a rescue, by the way, I rather think I just wanted to hear your voice before all that happens, because I suspect I'm going to be there for... a very long time." 

 

"Doctor..." She whispered, "I love you. I love you so much and I need you to know that and remember that." She was scared and angry, all those emotions still remained, but she didn't know how to communicate that with him. It would probably be the last time she ever talked to this Doctor and she could feel a lump forming in her throat. "I don't want you to go… Please, let me help you. There has to be a way..."  

 

"No, Riv, if you come here I promise they'll kill you on sight." The was a pause where he fumbled with whatever communication device was in his hands. He sounded significantly more scared when he spoke again. "I've made it out of worse, you know. Just with less motivation. This is going to be a whopper." 

 

He took an audibly shaky breath. "River, the man you are with right now, the man I sincerely  _ hope  _ has made it back to you, believe me, he is more grateful than anything you can imagine to be back with you and not here. I have a feeling you might be a tad livid with him for... well never mind that now. You’ll find out, hopefully. I love you. So, so much. And if I do make it out, that love is what has-- will get me through." 

 

She looked back at her husband, the new one. Her hearts were still refusing to beat properly and she could feel her eyes stinging, "You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Not just you as the Doctor, this specific incarnation of you. You've given me so much, and I don't know what I'm going to do without you, I really don't. I-I love you so much." She repeated. 

 

There was shouting in the background as the Doctor repeated those three words to her in English, Gallifreyan, then Estonian since it was the closest Earth language to Gallifreyan. Then the line went flat. She stood frozen, her ear still to the phone, half expecting him to come back. 

 

Finally, after several minutes, she set the phone back down on the receiver, sinking onto the bed and putting her head in her hands.  

 

"Was that the Doctor?" The Doctor asked quietly. 

 

She nodded, not looking up.

 

"He meant what he said." He offered. 

 

She shook her head, "I don't see why it matters. He's gone." 

 

He shut his eyes. "He's not gone, River.  _ I'm  _ not gone. That was me talking." He looked at her with as much ache as she was feeling from the loss. "...You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you just can't see me. I'm not on the phone, I'm right here, standing in front of you. I'm not asking you to forgive me for anything. I'm not asking you not to be hurt, but please, just, just see me." 

 

She looked at him, watching his face. "What do you want me to do? I do see you, but at the same time, I see the lies that you told me. I see the trust that you betrayed when I look at your face. I see the guilt that I feel for not being able to help you." The call had only been salt on her wounds. "I never asked for you to protect me. I can do that on my own. And the fact that you went off and died to save me like I'm some sort of damsel in distress does not sit well with me, especially without getting any input from me about my own safety. So yes, I  _ do  _ see you, but I see a lot more than I want to." 

 

He held his breath and shifted his feet. "That's not what happened, River. I didn't even know about the bloody Matrix Prophesy until after-." He stopped himself, realizing this wasn't the time to explain himself. He may have had different intentions, but the reality was that he'd hurt her so what he'd meant didn't matter. "No, I'm sorry. I want to make up for what I did. I want us both to be able to heal from this eventually. To answer your question... I want is for you to tell me what I need to do to help you heal. And if that means I need to sleep on the couch or leave you alone, that's fine." 

 

"I don't know. I don't know how to fix this. I don't want the kids to not trust you and not see you as their father. And I don't know how to fix that." She squeezed her eyes shut. 

 

"Do you still see me as your husband?" He asked slowly. 

 

"Of course." She breathed, "But you're different...You can't tell me that you're the exact same person you were before." 

 

"No one is ever the exact same person that they were the day before. We'd all be as dull as the pudding brains if we were." 

 

"I do hope you haven't forgotten that I'm half human." She muttered. 

 

"I haven't, but you aren't half pudding brain. You're half Pond." 

 

She didn’t appreciate the reference, "Still. I don't want the children picking up insults like that from you." 

 

He nodded. "Alright. I'll try not to say that around them." 

 

She stared at the floor, "I was thinking about taking the kids to Vastra's for the rest of the weekend." 

 

"...Is that a hint you don't want me to come?" 

 

"No." She shook her head, "It was a suggestion that I wanted your input on." 

 

"I think that might be nice." He murmured. 

 

She nodded, "Or maybe just the kids can go while you and I can try to work things out here." 

 

He looked surprised at that offer but nodded again. "Even better." 

 

"I think that we need to be on the same page before we try and help the children." She explained.

 

"Do you think we can make that much progress in one day?" 

 

"I think you're forgetting we have a time machine." She murmured. 

 

"Ah, right." He nodded.

 

She stared at the ground again, emotionally exhausted from the phone call.

 

"Em, thank you. For telling be about the things on the desk." At her silence, he said, "...I'll go call Vastra." He moved to go.

 

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

 

"Why?" He asked, turning around. 

 

"I shouldn't have snapped at you." She murmured. 

 

"It's alright. I'm sorry about the call. I didn't realize when I was calling." 

 

She shifted, watching him from the bed, arms tucked around herself. 

 

"Do you need anything?" 

 

"I just....I need you." She murmured. 

 

He silently approached and sat beside her on the bed, offering his hand. She took it, holding tightly. He felt warmth rush to where their skin touched, just as he had every time she'd allowed him close since he returned. He wondered briefly what magic he might feel kissing her again, though dismissed the thought since he was sure she wouldn’t let him. 

 

"You're not very affectionate." She murmured, looking at their hands. She didn't mean it as a bad thing, it was just the conclusion she had drawn based on their recent interactions.  

 

"Oh... Am I? It's not on purpose..." 

 

She nodded, "When we're together you seem so...different."

 

"Different bad?" He worried. 

 

"I don't know, you just...you act so differently around me. Like you're walking on eggshells and I don't like it. " 

 

"Do you want me to be more aggressive? Spontaneous?" 

 

"Well, you do know that I like things a bit rougher." She teased weakly. 

 

He blushed a bit, barely noticeable, and thought for a second before leaning into her space to kiss her. He'd wanted to do so since he woke from his healing coma, but wasn't sure he’d had permission. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure and had the worry in the back of his head that this might make her madder at him, but focused on the hope that she might kiss him back. 

 

His stomach jumped when his hopes were met and she leaned into the kiss, moving closer to deepen it. He could feel a huge amount of tension leave him at her willingness, more than he knew he'd been carrying. That relief was quickly overrun by the weight of having her close like this. After so long trapped in the confession chamber customized to his fears, it was like being able to breathe again. 

 

She melted into his arms, the kiss becoming more passionate and aggressive. He gladly followed her lead, letting his hands rediscover her, allowing them to wander her back and get lost in her hair. 

 

She moved so she was straddling his hips, cupping his face as she continued to snog him. He took in the smell of her, holding her securely. She smelled new and familiar all at once, like honey and grass and time. 

 

Her body was pressed against his and she clung to him just as tightly as he held her. He pulled them down until the mattress of the bed met his back, lips never moving away from hers. 

 

Her lips were swollen and her chest was heaving once she finally pulled back. He stared up at her, eyes dark. She watched him, biting her lip. 

 

"River?" He said after a moment. "...If you don't want to, we can stop." 

 

"I don't want to stop." She breathed. 

 

He couldn't help but smile a bit. "Neither do I." 

 

She didn't smile, just studied his face, still breathing heavily. She was waiting for him to make the first move. It took him a moment to realize this, propping himself up on his elbows so he could kiss her again. 

 

She was a bit hesitant this time, pulling away a bit. He frowned. "Is something wrong?" 

 

"No." She murmured, "I want to do this..." She watched him, "I've never been with another version of you before." 

 

"Oh." He said in quiet understanding. "...Do you remember my first time with you?" 

 

She nodded almost smiling at the memory of his unsure, gangly limbs.

 

"It feels a bit like that, for me at least. A bit new, a bit messy, with you knowing what you're doing a bit more than I do, and just a tad competitive against Bowtie." He sat them up again, his face close to hers. "I have no idea what this body likes yet, but I know it likes you quite a lot. I want to learn it with you. I want to re-learn what you like, too." 

 

She smiled softly, his words obviously making her feel better. He kissed her softly this time, taking his time to just feel her with him both physically and mentally. She didn't pull away now, relishing in his touch like they had all the time in the world. 

 

His hands gripped her hips and played with the hem of her shirt. "We can't forget the kids are here." She murmured, pulling away just slightly. 

 

"Arthur and Freya are glued to the telly. I wouldn't be surprised if our other two have joined them by now." 

 

She raised an eyebrow, "Well, alright. If you're not worried they're going to walk in on us..." She was used to his former self's constant fear of one of the children figuring out what they were doing. 

 

"It will be fine." He hummed. 

 

"If you insist, though I think you've forgotten how loud I can get." 

 

He chuckled at the memory. "Well, think of it as a challenge." 

 

"Alright, but if one of them finds us, I'm leaving it up to you to explain." She murmured, leaning in again. 

 

"Fair enough" He whispered, words lost against her lips. 

 

She rolled her hips against his, wrapping her arms around his neck. His arousal for her was growing more obvious, hands skittering over the skin beneath her shirt. 

 

She kissed down his neck, and along his collar, her movements possessive enough to leave marks. He cupped her bum, stifling a groan. He pulled her down to the bed again, this time turning them so she was pinned beneath him. 

 

She watched him, chest heaving. He echoed her previous actions, kissing and sucking down her neck. Her eyes fluttered shut and she tilted her head. 

 

He explored lower, disappointed when he ran into the cotton fabric of her shirt. He muttered something about it being in the way before shifting to remove it. 

 

She wriggled out of the shirt, smiling in amusement. He unconsciously made a triumphant face at seeing the offending article of clothing tossed aside, focusing back on River. 

 

He reached up to push one of her bra straps from her shoulder, then the other. She shivered at the feeling of his fingers against her skin. He inquired with his hands first, curiously feeling and caressing the soft, supple flesh of her breasts. He ran his thumbs over the dusky points of her nipples, pleased when they became perter. 

 

He lowered his head, kissing her sternum. Her breathing was growing heavier, her back arching to meet with his touch. He let his mouth roam her chest, leaving a fiery trail. Her skin was flushed with excitement and she was biting her lip. 

 

His hands were everywhere, rediscovering her curves and the feel of her skin. 

 

"I guess you missed me?" She breathed.

 

"You have no idea." He kissed his way back to her mouth. 

 

She cupped his face in her hands, kissing him softly, pressing her forehead to his once she was done. 

 

"Am I doing alright?" He asked. 

 

She nodded, "You're doing wonderfully." 

 

He turned his head to kiss her palm. "Missed you." 

 

She watched him, a shadow of guilt crossing over her face. He looked back at her with nothing but adoration. 

 

"Don't you hate me?" She whispered, "You spent centuries in confinement to try and protect me, but as soon as you come back I yell at you." 

 

"Don't you hate  _ me _ ?" He whispered back. "I lied to you about where I was and very well couldn't have survived." 

 

"I do hate you." She smiled weakly, "Have you not been able to tell?" 

 

"Is that what relentless snogging means? I must have forgotten that." He teased back. 

 

"It wasn't  _ relentless _ snogging." She laughed softly, "I was just being aggressive, marking my territory. You've been away for so long, I don't want you to forget that you're mine." 

 

"What happened to replacing me with one of Jack's picks?" 

 

"Who ever said I can't have more than one?" She teased, "You did mention something about having an open relationship yesterday." 

 

"I thought you turned that down." He chuckled. 

 

"I've changed my mind." She murmured, "I think you're rather cute when you're jealous." 

 

He snorted, "Who said I'm jealous?" 

 

"Would you not be jealous if I started going out with other people?" She raised an eyebrow, "Fancy dinners, interesting dates..." She teased. 

 

" _ I _ can do fancy dinners and dates." He said a possessively. 

 

"What's that? Am I hearing a bit of jealousy in your voice?" She teased. 

 

"Absolutely not." He insisted. "I'm just pointing out a fact." 

 

"Well, if you're  _ sure _ you're not jealous then I'll keep going. I think there are plenty of people out there who could make me scream, don't you?" She was egging him on now. 

 

He huffed. "I could make you scream louder, and that, dear, is another fact." 

 

"Prove it." She murmured. 

  
He grinned and leaned in to kiss her again, rough and bruising. She moaned into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut. He got to work on the rest of their clothing, undoing zippers and buttons. 


	12. Listen to the Mustn'ts, Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't want your help, you're not my dad!"
> 
> The Doctor shut his eyes at that, "Arthur..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair amount of angst. Enjoy!

**Ch 12**

 

River’s face was flushed as she caught her breath, her body draped tiredly over the Doctor’s. He was tracing Gallifreyan on her skin. 

 

"That was...impressive." She breathed, smiling. 

 

"Were you expecting to be less impressed?" He raised a brow. 

 

"No, but that was…  _ really _ good." 

 

"So you approve of the new body, then?" He hummed. 

 

She nodded, moving so she was straddling his hips once more, looking down at his bare skin, "You've got a couple marks on your neck." She murmured. 

 

"That would be your fault." He pointed out. 

 

"Yes, it would be." She smiled, leaning down to nip at his earlobe. "Sorry, darling." 

 

He shivered. "Not complaining. 

 

"So what about me? How do you think I did?" 

 

"Brilliantly." He kissed her temple. "But I may be a wee bit bias." 

 

She smiled, falling beside him once more, "Really? How so?" She teased. 

 

"I think you know  _ exactly  _ how so." 

 

"But I like hearing you say it." She whispered. 

 

"I'm biased because you're my wife and the mother of my children and I haven't been with you like this in ages." 

 

She smiled weakly, running her fingers along his chest, her body pressed against his. He caught her hand and brought it up to hip lips to kiss her wrist and kept her hand in his, holding it against his skin. 

 

"How long do you think we can get away with this before the kids need us?" He asked.

 

"Hopefully not for another hour or two." She murmured. 

 

He hummed. "I could fall asleep like this." 

 

"Are you going to fall asleep on me, Mister Song?" She teased. 

 

"Hmm," He pretended to give it some thought. "I think I like better what I see when my eyes are open." 

 

She smiled, leaning in to kiss him again and smiled, murmuring against his lips, "I love you." 

 

He wrapped his arms around her, "I love you, too." 

 

"I think I might go take a shower." She murmured. 

 

"Want company?" 

 

"Of course I do." She smiled, starting to get up. He followed. 

 

Neither of them had to bother getting undressed and quickly stepped under the warm stream of water from the shower head. 

 

She had her back to him, the water running along her body as she started humming. He let his eyes rake over her, admiring the patterns of the water. He pressed his body against her back, resting his head on her shoulder. "Do I know that song?" 

 

"It's the song you used to sing the Amelia and Freya before they were born." She murmured. 

 

He nodded and listen to her hum a few more bars before attempting to join. She smiled, taking his arms and bringing them to wrap around her waist. They rocked a bit to their music. 

 

She closed her eyes, "Do you remember when I was pregnant with the twins, you'd sing that to Amelia when she wouldn't settle." She smiled at the memory. 

 

"Yes." He nodded. "My brain's feeling a bit clearer now." 

 

She smiled, "That's good. Any memories still missing?" 

 

"Oh, there's probably a few here and there." She pulled him closer, resting her forehead on his cheek. "I think I remember all the important bits." He murmured. 

 

She nodded, "So...do you remember when I was pregnant with Terra?"

 

"Which time?" 

 

"The first one..." She whispered. 

 

"It's a bit trickier to remember all of it, but yes, I do." 

 

"On the day she was born, my birthday. You were there." She murmured. 

 

"Yes, I delivered her." 

 

"No, I mean this version of you was there." 

 

He looked confused. "Are you allowed to be telling me that?" 

 

"Well, if I don't tell you then you won't go." She murmured. 

 

"Ah." He nodded. "That timeline is already quite fragile. Wouldn't want to make it worse. So... what will happen?" 

 

"Well, we'll meet at a party and then...you're going to go get me right after she's born." 

 

"That's why you'd disappeared." He recalled. 

 

She nodded, "But, that's still a while's away." She shook her head, trying to shake away the memory. 

 

"Why'd you have that on your mind?" He wondered. 

 

"I don't know." She shook her head. 

 

"So you've seen this face before?" 

 

"Yes, and so have you. I was flirting with you at the party we went to and your other-self was glaring at us the whole time." 

 

He chuckled, "So that's who it was. It'll be amusing to be on this side of things." 

 

She was quiet now, her mind wandering back to his former self. He kissed her shoulder. She turned to face him, trying to smile. 

 

"We should call Vastra later." 

 

"Yes, I'll do it after dinner." She murmured. Arthur started calling for her from downstairs. River sighed, "I suppose that's my signal to get out." 

 

"I suppose." He looked a bit disappointed. She gave him a quick peck before stepping out of the shower and going to get dressed. 

 

"Mumma!" Arthur called again.

 

"I'm coming!" She called, hurrying down the stairs once she was dressed. 

 

Arthur and Terra were both looking quite unhappy. "Amelia and Freya are hogging the telly!" 

 

"Then, why don't you go play with something else then? Maybe you can play with Toby outside?" 

 

"But we want to watch cartoons." He pouted. 

 

"Well, if you go play with Toby now, then you can come back in about an hour and I'll put the cartoons on for you."

 

"But that's not fair! They've been getting to watch want they want for an hour." He pointed at his older sisters. 

 

"Arthur, don't argue with me." She warned. 

 

Terra tugged on his arm, urging him to do as River said. He stomped his foot, not budging. "I want to watch my show!" 

 

"Arthur, dearie," The Doctor said, coming down the stairs. His hair was still damp. "That's not how we ask for things we want."

 

"But they've been hogging it all day! It's not fair and Mummy's not being fair!" 

 

He went a kneeled beside the boy. "Instead of passing blame, why don't you think about a nicer way to ask? Have you asked your sisters for the remote?" 

 

"I did, they're not listening." He was growing more distressed, the stress from the weekend getting to him, "I don't want your help, you're not my dad!" 

 

The Doctor shut his eyes at that, "Arthur..." 

 

"I want my dad back!" He started to cry, wiping at his eyes. 

 

"I am your dad, Arthur. I just look a little different, but I'm still me." 

 

"No, you're not the same! You're different. You act different." He backed away from him. 

 

He took a breath. "I know. I'm sorry. It's what happens what someone like us regenerates." 

 

"I don't like it. I want  _ my _ dad back." 

 

"I can't change back." He looked at River and Terra and the twins (who'd by now turned off the TV to watch this interaction). "All I can do is learn how to be your father all over again." Terra was hugging her mother's legs now. "It's going to be hard. Change is always hard, believe me, I know. This is scary for me, too. But in order for it to be better, in order for all of us to learn and move forwards, we have to do it together." 

 

Arthur went to the comfort of his mother, not wanting to change or think about the fact that the father he knew was never coming back. 

 

The Doctor fell silent, looking at his other children. River bent down to hug them properly, looking at the Doctor. The man blinked hard. "Em... I'll start dinner." 

 

River nodded, rubbing Arthur and Terra's backs. "It's okay." She hummed. 

 

"I want Daddy back." Arthur whimpered. 

 

"He is back." River whispered, "I know he's different, and it doesn't look like him, but it is. He's still your Father and he still loves you very much." 

 

"He's a fake. What if he's trying to trick us?" He denied. 

 

"He's not trying to trick us." She murmured, "I promise that it's him. And he's just as upset as you are. He didn't want to change, but he had to because he was hurt. And now he just wants you to give him a chance." 

 

"Why'd he get hurt? Why'd he go and have to leave and get hurt and change?" 

 

"He was trying to protect us from bad people. And I'm upset that he left and came back different too, but I still love him because he's still the same person on the inside, he's just a little different on the outside and some of the things he does are a little different. We'll get used to it." 

 

"I don't wanna get used to it! I want him to change back." 

 

"He can't." River whispered, "I wish he could too, but he can't." She kissed his temple, "But how about this. This tonight, you can have a sleepover at Uncle Jack's and he'll take you to your favorite candy store and I'll tell him he can buy you all the candy you want. And then when you come home, you'll feel much better and we'll go on a trip with Daddy so we all can bond again. I'll even let you skip school on Monday." Originally they were going to call Vastra, but River felt they needed a bigger distraction which meant playing the Fun Uncle card. 

 

"We can't skip school." Amelia frowned. "That's not allowed." 

 

"I'll allow it just this once. I'll make up an excuse for your teachers." 

 

The kids nodded, though Terra hesitated at being away from her mum for the night. 

 

"You'll have so much fun, and if you don't, Uncle Jack will call me and I'll pick you up." 

 

Terra took comfort in this and nodded, hugging River, an action River returned. "I want all of you to go outside with Toby now. No more telly." 

 

They nodded this time, doing as she said. 

 

River went to find the Doctor, hoping he wasn't terribly torn up. He had busied himself at the stove boiling water. 

 

"Are you okay?" 

 

"Not really." He shrugged. 

 

"Come here." She murmured, arms open in a hug. 

 

He sighed and moved to her embrace. She held him in her arms, kissing his temple, "They'll come around." 

 

"I know." He breathed. "I really can't blame them. They're young and scared and confused. But it still hurts."

 

"I know it does." She whispered, holding him tighter, "But they're going to go stay with Jack and hopefully he'll be able to cheer them up." 

 

"He shouldn't have to. I should be able to-..." He shook his head, looking away. 

 

"What? You should be able to what?" She tilted his chin back to face her.

 

"I should be able to be the one who can cheer them up. Make them happy. I used to be." 

 

"You still make me happy." She murmured, "And like I said, they'll come around. You'll be able to make them happy again very soon." 

 

"I hope so." He smiled weakly. 

 

She kissed him, "I'm going to call Jack." 

 

"I'll finish dinner." 

 

She nodded, getting the phone and dialing the Hub. "Jack?" 

 

"In the flesh. What can I do for you, River?" 

 

"I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind watching the kids tonight and tomorrow? They're having some trouble adjusting to the Doctor's new face so I thought a visit with their favorite Uncle might cheer them up." 

 

"When does it not cheer them up? How is the old grump, anyways?" 

 

"Well, he and I have… reconnected I think. But like I said, the kids are having trouble so it's been hard on him." 

 

"Ah. So a trip to the sweets shop is in tail?" 

 

"Yes, and I'm giving you rare permission to spoil them all you want." She smiled weakly. 

 

"Oh, like I don't do it without your permission." He chuckled. 

 

"Don't tell me that or else I'm going to start strictly asking Vastra to babysit." She teased. 

 

"Hey, you already play favorites with her. And don’t pretend you don't know she does it, too." 

 

She laughed, "It's not that I play favorites, I just know who actually follows through with the bedtimes I put in place." 

 

“No comment.” He chuckled. "So, time and place?" 

 

"I'll drop them off in an hour or so." 

 

"Do I need to take care of dinner?" 

 

"No, we've got it covered." 

 

"Good." He grinned. "So how are you holding up with everything?" 

 

She sighed, "Alright, the Doctor and I have had our disagreements, but I think things are starting to settle now." 

 

"Well let me know if there's anything I can do to help out with that." 

 

"Thanks." She murmured, "I'll see you in a little while." 

 

"See you." He hung up the phone. 

 

River went to help get the kids packed and fed, ushering them into the TARDIS once they were all ready. Toby followed them, wanting to stick with them. 

 

"You should come with us." River murmured, taking her husband's hand, "Jack will want to see you." 

 

"Alright." He whispered, trying quite hard to ignore the hesitant looks of the children. 

 

River kept him closer to her as she piloted the TARDIS, trying to show the kids that she didn't have a problem with the Doctor. This made Terra less tense, though didn't seem to have as much effect on Arthur. 

 

Once they landed, she walked them out, still holding the Doctor by the hand. 

 

Arthur ran to Jack when he saw him, asking about the candy store. 

 

"We'll go as soon as your mom leaves." Jack ruffled the boy's hair, scooping him up. 

 

Arthur smiled a little bit. "I want Toby to sleep over, too" 

 

"Well, if you really want him to stay, I think we can make it work." 

 

Arthur looked back at River for her approval.  River nodded, "He can stay." She had her arm around the Doctor's back.

 

Terra was buzzing around Jack's legs, excited for candy. "Why don't you kiddos say bye to your mom and dad?" Jack told the kids. 

 

"Goodbye, my loves." River murmured, hugging the children as they came to say goodbye. None of them but Terra attempted to hug the Doctor. 

 

River bit her lip, watching as the other children retreated back to Jack. 

 

The Doctor sighed sadly. "You lot be good for Jack, alright?" 

 

They nodded, giving him a half-hearted wave. Toby barked affectionately.

 

The TARDIS doors closed behind River and the Doctor. 


	13. Süße Träume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Anything I can do?"
> 
> "I just want you here, with me." She murmured. 
> 
> He smiled weakly. "Of course. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know German, so PLEASE correct me if any of the sentences spoken in German in this chapter are wrong and I will gladly fix it. 
> 
> A fluffy chapter :) Enjoy!

**Ch 13**

 

The Doctor fidgeted with the new controls of the TARDIS, remaining quiet as they floated in the Vortex. River walked over to him, cupping his face in her hands, "I'm sorry." 

 

"It's not your fault." He murmured. 

 

"I know, but it doesn't make me any less sorry that you're going through this." She stroked his cheek with her thumb, feeling like her affection was really the only thing she could give at the moment. 

 

He leaned into her touch. "I'll make it through." 

 

She gave him a soft smile, kissing his cheek, "I love you. And they love you too, which is why this is so hard for them." 

 

"When you saw me on Dundenbar... did I-- was it different from how they are now?" 

 

"Well, I didn't see all of them, but from what I did see, I would say so." She gave him an encouraging smile. 

 

He returned the gesture. "How about a date, Mrs Doctor? I believe I promised you one before I left." 

 

"I'd like that very much." She smiled. 

 

"Lady's choice. Unless you want a surprise location." 

 

"I think I'm going to have to go with surprise this time." 

 

"As you wish." He pulled a large lever and sent them off. 

 

"Should I change or is this adequate for our destination?" She gestured to her clothes. 

 

He looked her over. "You might want something a bit more old-fashioned." 

 

"Any particular time period?" 

 

"Think 1800's, Germany." 

 

She nodded, going off to change. He finished piloting them to their destination, waiting in the console room for her. 

 

She came back in an era-appropriate gown, "I suppose you're going to claim that your magician get up is just as 'timeless' as the tweed was?" 

 

"Of course it is. Besides, I know you like the dressing up." He grinned, holding his arm out for her. She rolled her eyes, taking his arm. They strolled out the door. 

 

The TARDIS was parked behind a relatively small while building. The pair moved towards the smell of food and sound of people. River looked around, smiling softly, "It smells wonderful." 

 

It took no time at all to wander upon the excitement. Most of the people were dressed like River, making the Doctor stick out more than he'd ever admit. He was grinning, however, looking at his wife. "Oktoberfest, 1890." 

 

Her eyes were shining with excitement, "You've never taken me here before." She smiled, "Oh, it all looks so exciting." 

 

"There's beer, dancing, creamy sauerkraut... well I'm sure you know most of that." 

 

She nodded, "Yes, I do. Now, does this body drink or am I drinking alone today?" 

 

"Let's find out, shall we?" He gestured to a nearby beer stand. She nodded, walking with him. 

 

They bought a pint for each of them, the Doctor taking a tentative sip. 

 

"What do you think?" River asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

"Not bad." He murmured. "Like a bitter pop." 

 

She laughed, "Yes, I suppose it's a bit like that." 

 

He took another sip. "Is wine bubbly or is that just beer?" 

 

"It's just the beer, my love. Though champagne is fizzy too." She took a very small sip of hers, knowing he wouldn’t notice. 

 

"Perhaps you can introduce me to those later." 

 

"Perhaps. I do like a bit of champagne when I take a bath." She purred. 

 

He took a step closer to her and whispered against the shell of her ear, "Mind out of the gutter, Mrs Doctor." 

 

She laughed, "Oh please, Mr Song,  you love it." 

 

"I do." He acknowledged in the same tone. "But your corset is enough is enough of a distraction without the commentary."  

 

She smiled, "Oh, is it?” She commented innocently. “Well, then I guess it won't help if I tell you that I may have skipped putting my knickers on when I changed. Now there's a spoiler for you." She pressed herself up against him for a moment, having to go on tiptoes to whisper back in his ear.

 

"Naughty." He grinned. 

 

She hummed, expression similar to his. "Shall we continue exploring?" 

 

"Lead the way." He nodded. 

 

She took his hand, leading him through the alleys of stalls, stopping to play games, drink, eat, and dance. The Doctor indulged in the activities by her side, very enthusiastic about the dancing. 

 

River enjoyed the dancing the most --she usually did--, laughing and spinning around the area with him. They only stopped when their feet ached too much to ignore, finally retiring back to the TARDIS. 

 

River was giggling, one arm wrapped around her husband's waist, "I can't believe you shouted at that man!" 

 

"He was trying to dance with you. We weren't even finished with the number." He defended, smile wide. 

 

"He wasn't trying to dance with me, he was trying to distract me so his friend could swoop in and dance with you." She laughed. 

 

"Same difference. I didn't want to dance with anyone else." 

 

"Well, neither did I." She smiled, "Though I do think you've had a bit too much to drink." 

 

"I've only had, what, two pints?" 

 

"Really? I could have sworn you had four..." 

 

"It's a good thing we left, then." He swayed. 

 

"Careful." She went to help steady him. 

 

"I'm fine." He swung his arm over her shoulders. 

 

"Perhaps we should sit." She murmured. 

 

He huffed, though allowed her to set him on the jump seat. 

 

"I'm going to get you a glass of water, don't move." She hurried out of the room. 

 

"I won't." He called after her. She came back within a few moments with a glass for him. "Thank you, love." He hummed, looking more sleepy. 

 

"Tired?" She raised an eyebrow. 

 

"The alcohol is getting to me. Why aren't you drunk either?" 

 

"Because I have a higher tolerance, and I had much less to drink." She murmured, kissing his head. She actually hadn’t had any alcohol besides that first sip. 

 

"You and your logic." He huffed.  

 

She laughed, "I think we should get you to bed." 

 

"So much for baths and champagne." 

 

"We'll save that for tomorrow."  

 

"And maybe go a little light on the champagne?"  

 

"Maybe, but no promises." She smiled. 

 

He rose from the chair, allowing to her guide him back to the bedroom. She helped him to bed, removing his shoes for him. 

 

"I'm going to feel awful in the morning, aren't I?" He asked. 

 

"I'm afraid so, but if you can manage to stay up and drink a bit more water, that will help." 

 

He hummed. "I think I can manage that." 

 

She went to fetch him another glass of water, returning quickly.  He thanked her. "Did you enjoy the festival?" 

 

"It was wonderful. Thank you for picking such a lovely place." She smiled.  

 

"Ah, I've been meaning to take you for ages. Got a bit side tracked, but at least I remembered how to speak German." 

 

"Yes, you did. And it made the trip all the more fun." She kissed his cheek, "Ich Liebe Dich, Mein glänzender Ehemann." 

 

"Ich Liebe Ddich auch, Mmein helles Licht." He replied. 

 

She smiled, "Drink up, I'm going to change." He nodded, sipping the water. 

 

She went to put on her pajamas, her back to him as she removed her dress. "So, a bit earlier you were talking about being more spontaneous." 

 

"I was, yes." He nodded. 

 

"Is that something I should look forward to?" She glanced over her shoulder at him, her dress pooling around her ankles. 

 

"I should think so." He looked over. "You weren't lying about not having any knickers." 

 

She laughed, "Did you really think that I was lying?" 

 

"No." He smiled. "But I do appreciate visual proof." 

 

"Enjoying the view?" She teased, searching through her drawer for her pajamas. 

 

"Very much." He hummed. 

 

She found the clothes she was looking for, slipping them on, "Well, I'm sorry to say it's a bit too cold to sleep naked." 

 

He pouted, though patted the space next to him. She crept into bed and curled up beside him. He wrapped his arms around her. " Süße Träume, Liebes" 

 

She hummed, closing her eyes and quickly falling asleep. 

 

-x-

 

It was around four in the morning when the Doctor jolted awake, silent but shaking. 

 

"Doctor?" River mumble sleepily, awakened by the jolt. He didn't seem to hear her, shuffling out of the blankets to get out of bed. She yawned, sitting up, "Doctor?" She called again. 

 

He was standing now, tuning with a clenched jaw to look at her. 

 

"What's wrong?" She frowned, getting up out of bed. 

 

"Nothing," He whispered, staring a hard gaze into the floor. 

 

"Doctor..." She whispered, touching his cheek. 

 

He tensed, brushing past her, out of the room. She watching him, not knowing what else to do, so she decided to follow him, worried. 

 

He was seemingly wandering aimlessly down corridors, that was until he stopped in front of a door she hadn't seen before and entered the room. She tried to follow him, knowing if she wasn't supposed to go in the room for some reason the TARDIS wouldn't let her. The door remained present and a jar, music starting from inside. 

 

She stepped inside, eyes scanning the room. The place was a bit small with not much in it. There were a couple chairs, a small shelf, and a desk with some paper. There was also a guitar stand, though the instrument that went there was in the Doctor's hands. He stood, facing the far wall. 

 

River was quiet as she watched him, stepping further into the room. He was playing the song he used to sing to the twins when River was pregnant with them, humming shakily along with it. She stopped, recognizing the tune, her hand falling to her middle at the memory. 

 

When he was finished, he turned to her. "Sorry." 

 

"For what?" She whispered. 

 

"Running off just now." 

 

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize." She drew closer. 

 

"Had a bad dream." He murmured, putting the guitar down. 

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly. 

 

He shrugged. "I was back in the confession chamber. You were there with me.” 

 

"It's okay." She whispered, "We're not there. You don't have to go back there. You're safe." 

 

He closed his eyes. "They get into your memories, you know. They try to find your worst fears and scare you into talking. There's not much I'm afraid of anymore, but I could hear you screaming, River. Every day I would look for where you were and I would only ever find blood. And you would still call out for me." That was from his memory, not the dream

 

She held him tightly, "It's alright. It's okay. It wasn't real." 

 

He let his breath out, clinging to her. "I want you to be safe." 

 

"I am safe." She whispered, "And our babies are safe. It's okay." 

 

"How can I keep them safe if they won't let me near?" 

 

"I told you, they're going to adapt, they're going to get used to you and everything will go back to normal." 

 

He sighed. "I know."

 

"It's okay." She breathed again, kissing his cheek. "It's okay." 

 

He nodded, taking a breath and making an obvious attempt to change the subject. "So apparently I remember how to play guitar." 

 

"Yes, you do. Will you play something for me?" She asked. It was early in the morning, but she knew they probably wouldn't be sleeping again. 

 

He picked up the instrument again. "Requests?" 

 

She shook her head, "Surprise me." 

 

He smiled weakly and started an old love song. She smiled, leaning against the wall, watching him. When he finished his shoulders were less tense. 

 

"That was lovely." She smiled. 

 

"Even with my groggy morning voice?" 

 

"Especially with your groggy morning voice." She moved to kiss him.  

 

He accepted to kiss gratefully. "Thank you. For listening I mean." 

 

"Of course." She smiled, nuzzling his cheek. 

 

"Breakfast?" He offered. 

 

"Do you want to cook?" 

 

"Yes, but I understand if you don't trust my cooking skills yet. They are a bit rusty." 

 

"I'll let you cook this time." She shrugged, "Your grilled cheese sandwiches weren't half bad yesterday." 

 

"Glad you think so." He put his guitar on the stand and lead her to the kitchen. She held his hand. He gave her hand a squeeze as he looked over the cupboards. 

 

"I'm thinking... maybe eggs and sausage?" 

 

She nodded, holding his hand tighter. 

 

He glanced at her. "Are you alright?"

 

She nodded again, "Yeah..." 

 

"You sure." He met her gaze. 

 

She shook her head. He turned his attention to her completely. "Tell me?" 

 

She shook her head again, "It's not important." 

 

"Of course it's important." 

 

"I don't want you to worry." 

 

"I'll worry either way." He pointed out. "I'm your husband and you just spent your early morning making sure I was alright. Now it's my turn to make sure you're alright." 

 

"I had a nightmare too."  She sighed, closing her eyes. 

 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"Not really." She whispered. 

 

He nodded, moving to kiss her forehead. "Anything I can do?" 

 

"I just want you here, with me." She murmured. 

 

He smiled weakly. "Of course. Always." 

 

"I love you." She whispered, giving him a weak smile. 

 

"I love you, too." 

 

"I'll let you cook now." She murmured, reluctantly letting go of his hand. He smiled and got to work on breakfast. She sat at the table, watching him, her eyelids drooping. 

 

The eggs came out rather dry, but the sausage was just fine and he put them on plates for the two of them. "Sleepy?" 

 

She nodded, "Yes, I am." 

 

"Perhaps we can get back to bed after we eat." 

 

"I'd like that." She murmured, "But you don't have to sleep if you don't want to." She didn't want him to have another nightmare. 

 

He shrugged. "I'd still like to join you." 

 

When they’d finished eating her eyes were very droopy and he rose and wrapped his arm around her. "You're exhausted." 

 

"I'm okay." She yawned. 

 

"Come, on. Let's get you back to bed." He tutted. 

 

She walked alongside him, immediately curling back into their bed. He wrapped his arms around her. "Sorry for waking you so early." 

 

"It's okay." She mumbled, "How are you feeling?" 

 

"Better." He hummed. 

 

"Do you have a hangover?" She asked. 

 

"Bit of a headache." He replied. 

 

"Take some aspirin." She slurred. 

 

"I will." He started tracing patterns along her arm. 

 

"Cats need to be fed soon." She was falling asleep. 

 

"I'll take care of it." He soothed. 

 

"Thanks...." She was asleep by now. 

 

He stayed with her as she slept, taking in her features. Her sleep wasn't completely restful, she occasionally mumbled words and phrases. He listened closely, trying to decipher them. She was saying something about the Doctor and a baby, though it wasn't entirely clear if she was referring to one of their children or just any old baby. 

 

From the few clear phrases, it revealed that the dream was at least pleasant.  He decided he would ask her what her dream was about when she woke, not wanting to interrupt her sleep. 

 

She slept for another hour or so before she began to stir. 

 

"Morning, love." He murmured. 

 

"Morning." She smiled.  

 

"You were talking in your sleep." He hummed. 

 

"Oh, was I?" She asked. 

 

He nodded. "Something about me and a baby?" 

 

"Oh...Right..." 

 

What were you dreaming about?" 

 

She shook her head, "It was just a silly dream. We were going to have another baby and you were playing your guitar and singing to it...That's all I really remember." 

 

He smiled. "Doesn't sound silly at all." 

 

"I guess that song you played earlier just...triggered my brain." She murmured. 

 

He kissed her shoulder. "I'm glad you had a good dream." 

 

She smiled, "Me too." 

 

"I believe I promised you a bath and champagne." She murmured after a while of lying in bed, enjoying each other's warmth.  

 

He hummed. "Is that an offer you're looking to for fill soon?" 

 

She nodded, "Yes, I think I could use some bath time with my husband. 

 

He grinned. "I'll start the tap." 

  
"I'll get the champagne." She murmured. 


	14. Lotus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He nodded, wondering briefly if the only reason she'd been so willing to spend time with him was to set an example. He shook the thought away. "Perhaps we need a conversational safe word, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, readers, I'm going to be traveling all next week so I'm sorry to say there won't be another update until the 27th (ish? depends on my jetlag.) Enjoy! Stay safe!

**Ch 14**

 

Soon enough there was a full tub of water and two content Time Lords bathing in it. River had her head resting against the Doctor's shoulder, eyes closed. "How's the headache?" She asked.

 

"Getting better. The water is helping." 

 

"Good, I'm glad. We still have to talk about what we're going to tell all of our friends. We need to break the news that your other self is...gone. And I really do hate hiding that we're married so..." She sighed, taking a very small of champagne, "We're going to have to figure that all out." 

 

"Yes, I suppose we do. We probably don't have to make an announcement, though. Just sort of... act sad and when someone asks we tell them he got into an accident." He suggested. “News will spread.” 

 

She nodded, setting her glass on the rim of the tub, tracing circles on his chest, "I wish there was an easier way to do this." She murmured. 

 

"Well you could say he ran off with some young, skinny blonde, but I doubt that will bode over well either." He murmured. The crease between her brow deepened at those words, the suggestion upsetting her slightly.  "Sorry." He whispered, for once not being so oblivious to her expression. 

 

"It's okay." She murmured, backing off of him a bit. There seemed to be a pattern with her: She was more than happy to nestle up with the Doctor, but as soon as he mentioned his former self, something inside her would switch and she would be fighting back grief again. 

 

"Maybe this is a conversation for a different time?" He could see that pattern and really didn't want to be apart from her. 

 

"I suppose, but I do want to have some sort of a plan before we pick the kids up." She whispered. "It'll be easier for them if they know what's going to happen."

 

He nodded silently, realizing that while talking about this would distance her, it was also what had to be done. "Will we be doing a pseudo-funeral?"  

 

"I-" She hesitated, "I'd rather not. I don't want to put the children through that." She moved away from him a little more. 

 

He tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest the action gave him. "Alright. Just wondering." 

 

She shot down the rest of her champagne, pouring herself another full flute. He swallowed. "Good champagne?" 

 

"It's okay." She muttered, drinking almost half the flute in one flourish. He wondered if it would be worth mentioning the pattern he observed, of if he should just wait it out and let her grieve. 

 

It didn't take more than a minute before the other half of the alcohol was gone and she was pouring herself yet another glass. 

 

"River... are you alright?” 

 

"I'm fine." She muttered, finally setting the glass down again after drinking a third of its contents. 

 

"You're on your third fluke in five minutes." He frowned. 

 

She raised an eyebrow, "Are you saying I should slow down?"  

 

"You might end up with a headache if you don't." He pointed out. 

 

"I can take care of myself. I don't need you counting my glasses for me." She muttered. 

 

"Sorry." He looked away. She put her head in her hands, sighing. "River," He started gently. "I know mentioning Bowtie makes you rather on edge, but I'm really trying." 

 

"I'm trying too." She whispered, "But it's hard..." 

 

"I know. But if you need some time to yourself when I say something wrong, please just say so.” 

 

She bit her lip, "That wouldn't be fair to you." 

 

"No, it'd be alright. I'll understand." He smiled weakly. 

 

She watched his face, "I can't. The children need an example to follow." 

 

"The children aren't here right now." 

 

"Then this is good practice." 

 

He nodded, wondering briefly if the only reason she'd been so willing to spend time with him was to set an example. He shook the thought away. "Perhaps we need a conversational safe word, then." 

 

"Such as?" She asked. 

 

He shrugged. "Maybe something about dreaming?" 

 

"I think we need something a bit more obscure than that." 

 

"Suggestions?" He looked at her. 

 

"Lotus.”

 

"Lotus." He echoed. "That works." 

 

She nodded, finishing off her glass and going to get out of the tub. He pulled the plug out for the water to drain. She pulled on her robe, taking the bottle of champagne with her. 

 

He didn't follow, drying off and dressing, then heading back to the room with the guitar. 

 

She didn't see him for the next couple hours, mostly because she was avoiding him. The Doctor did move TARDIS once, parking in the flat and making sure the cats were fed. He went to the back garden after that, figuring River would show herself if and when she was ready to. 

 

An hour or so after lunch, she stumbled upon him, now fully clothed. He was sitting in one of the lawn chairs, eyes closed. 

 

River cleared her throat, watching from the doorway. He opened his eyes and turned his head. "River." 

 

"Sorry." She murmured. "Again." 

 

"It's alright." He murmured. She nodded, standing rather awkwardly, before turning to head back inside. "River, wait." He called. "You can, em, you can sit with me if you like." 

 

"I don't want to bother you." She hesitated. 

 

"I quite like your company, River. It's not a bother." 

 

She slowly walked over to him, sitting down. 

 

"We should plant some flowers in the spring." He murmured. 

 

She nodded, looking at the yard, "The children always love helping with that." 

 

"Terra had a favorite flower... what was it again?" 

 

"She loves daisies." She murmured. 

 

"Ah. Daisies. I thought it was tulips." 

 

"It was tulips last summer. She changed her mind a couple months ago."

 

"I see. We should plant some daisies then." At the moment, the yard was fairly bare aside from the fallen leaves and grass patches that still clung on to what they could. 

 

She nodded, not saying anything. 

 

"Do you want to plant peonies? Those are your favorite, aren't they?" 

 

"Yes, they are." She smiled weakly. 

 

"Now there's a useful thing to keep in my memory." He hummed. 

 

She looked at her feet, "Did you eat?" 

 

"Yes, a bit." 

 

"So you're not hungry then?"  

 

"Well, I wouldn't say that. Why?" 

 

"I was going to make myself a sandwich and I was wondering if you wanted one." 

 

"That'd be lovely." 

 

She went to go back inside again, going to make their food. He wandered inside after her, sitting in in the kitchen to keep her company. 

 

She set the sandwich in front of him when she was done, sitting across the table. Tiber brushed up against River's legs, wanting whatever she was eating. She reached down to pet him, eating quietly. 

 

"So..." The Doctor tried. "Do you want to go out somewhere this evening?" 

 

"Did you have a spot in mind?" 

 

"Maybe the Onyx Cliffs of Djereeb. Beautiful stars." 

 

She nodded, "That would be nice." 

 

He smiled weakly. "I could treat you to dinner before hand...?" 

 

"I'd like that." She breathed. 

 

Tiber jumped up on the table, sniffing at River’s sandwich. She finished it quickly, not wanting the cat to eat it. Tiber looked disappointed at River's now empty plate, resolving to try and steal the Doctor's food instead.

 

"Watch out, the cat will get sick if he eats your food." 

 

The Doctor nudged Tiber away. "No, Tiber." The cat jumped into the Doctor's lap. "Tiber..." He warned, pushing the plate out of reach. "Down." 

 

The cat meowed, rubbing his head against the Doctor. 

 

"Alright, alright." He gave him a scritch behind the ears. He purred, settling in his lap. 

 

"Thanks, it's not like I wanted to get up anytime soon or anything." He said sarcastically to the cat, though continued to pet him. "He's lucky he's cute." 

 

River was looking at her phone, a small frown on her face. 

 

"Everything alright?" He asked. 

 

"It's Jack..." She sighed. 

 

"Are the kids alright?" 

 

"They're fine, but Terra wants to come home." 

 

"She's still not so used to sleepovers, is she." 

 

"Not yet." She shook her head. "I'll go get her. The other three will probably want to stay." 

 

He nodded. "Alright." 

 

She stood, "Be right back." She murmured, kissing the top of his head before she left the room. 

 

At the Hub, Terra was waiting impatiently with Toby by her side, not taking any comfort in Jack's attempts to comfort her.

 

River walked out of the TARDIS doors, eyes falling on her daughter. "Is everything alright?" 

 

The girl ran up to her, hugging her legs. 

 

"Yeah, she's fine, she just misses you two," Jack said. 

 

River scooped her up, hugging her properly. "[Are you sure you want to come home?]" River signed. 

 

"[Yes]." Terra nodded. "[I want to go home and Arthur keeps saying mean things about Daddy so I want to be away from him, too.]" 

 

River sighed, having been hoping to get the Doctor to herself for a few more days, "[Okay...If you really want to.]" 

 

"[You hafta make Arthur stop being mean before we go.]" She insisted. 

 

She shook her head, "[I'm not going to do that. He has to get his feelings out now.]" 

 

"[But he's saying that he's a fake and he's trying to trick us.]" Terra was more concerned that her brother's words might be true than that he was saying them.

"[He's not a fake.]" River murmured, "[Come on, let's get home.]" Toby followed them into the TARDIS. 

 

River put the TARDIS back in flight, bringing Terra to the kitchen. The Doctor was still trapped down by Tiber, though the cat and he looked up at the others. "Hello, loves." 

 

Terra moved closer into River's side.

 

"[How was Uncle's Jacks?]" He asked his daughter.

 

"[Okay. I missed you.]" She signed. 

 

"[I missed you too, dearie.]" He gave a small smile. 

 

She wiggled out of her mother's grasp, "[Can I have a sandwich too?]" 

 

"[Of course. I'd be happy to make you one.]" He signed, then looked at the cat. "Time to move, Tiber." 

 

Tiber jumped up on the table, off the Doctor. "Thank you." He stood and moved to make the sandwich. 

 

Terra hopped into the Doctor's chair, River sitting across from her. He brought the sandwich over when he was finished, a PB and J, which was about the only kind of sandwich Terra liked next PB and banana, and PB and fluff. 

 

She bit into it, immediately getting peanut butter all over her face. 

 

He looked over at River. "So I suppose no Onyx Cliffs tonight?" 

 

"I guess not." She was watching the floor. 

 

"You alright?" He asked. 

 

She nodded, "Yeah, I was just hoping we'd have a bit more alone time together..." 

 

He looked at Terra, trying to think of something they could all do together. "[Terra, would you like to go about with Mummy and I this evening? We could see the 2040 World Cup.]" 

 

Terra smiled, "[That sounds fun!]" 

 

He smiled back. "What do you think River?" 

 

She nodded, "[It'll be nice.]" 

 

Tiber, like he did with the others, tried to steal Terra's sandwich. Terra scolded the cat, eating quickly. 

 

"[Can we read a story?]" She asked when she had finished her food. 

 

"[Of course, dear. Which would you like?]" 

 

She didn’t answer, running upstairs quickly to get a picture book, bringing it back to him. 

 

"[Cinderella.]" He looked at the cover. "[Why don't we sit on the couch?]" 

 

She nodded, running to the couch, River following behind. The Doctor settled with them, opening the book to the first page. 

 

Terra looked at the pictures, pointing out her favorite character (obviously Cinderella) as she always did. He smiled as he and River switched off reading to her. Terra's eyes were fixed on the illustrations, watching on in amazement despite having read the book a dozen times. 

 

Toby had curled up by their feet by the time the book was done. Terra had wiggled down off the couch to cuddle with Toby. 

 

"She certainly likes her fairy tales." He observed. 

 

River smiled weakly, "I think she loves the dog a bit more."

 

He nodded slowly, deciding not to comment on the dog's old age. "Quite a pair, those two." 

 

"They certainly are." 

 

"Do you think the twins and Arthur are doing alright?" 

 

"Yes, they're fine. They didn't even realize I was there." She replied.

 

"I hope Jack's not too cocky about that." 

 

"I'm sure he's not." She murmured. 

 

"How are you feeling?" He asked. 

 

"I'm fine." She breathed, "Why?" 

 

"You weren't really all that fine earlier." 

 

She sighed, "Don't worry about me." 

 

"The thing about caring for someone is that you tend to also worry about them when they're unhappy." He murmured. "But if you wish me to, I'll try not to think about it." 

 

She watched her feet, "I told you, I need time. Nothing is going to fix all of this immediately so it's not worth worrying about." 

 

He nodded slowly. "Right." 

 

"I'm sorry." She murmured.

 

"No need to be, dear." He moved his eyes from their daughter to her. She was avoiding his eyes.

 

Terra tapped at River’s leg. "[Can we go to the World Cup now?]" 

 

She nodded, getting up slowly. 

 

"[What's wrong?]" Terra asked, sensing her upset. 

 

"[Nothing. Don't worry about it.]" She tried to smile. 

 

"[Can we get treats at the game?]" 

 

"[Of course.]" River nodded. 

  
"[Let's go!]" She excitedly took her mother's hand. River let her daughter pull her around, heading into the TARDIS.


	15. The Woman in Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked at her hands around her cup, noting that the cuticles of her fingers had been recently worried at and the skin there was loose. "...Do you want to watch a movie or something after Terra goes to sleep? I know it's not the Onyx Cliffs, but as long as we have a night in we can still, em, spend some time together."
> 
> She looked back up at him, "That sounds nice. I'd like that very much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Yes, I'm back from my travels. Yay... jet lag...back to school... overdue homework... I've been awake since 3 am... Enjoy.

**Ch 15**

 

Upon Terra's request, all the Songs wore football jerseys to the match and sat fairly close to the field. It took no time at all for the game to excite huge cheers from the audience. Terra was cheering along and bouncing around, having a grand old time of herself. She looked many keys happier than when River had picked her up from Jack's and claimed she was going gloat about this to her siblings. 

 

River smiled weakly at her daughter when she glanced back at her. 

 

Terra was still overflowing with energy when they headed back to the TARDIS after the game. They stopped by the playground for a few hours before dinner so Terra could get the rest of her energy out. 

 

River ran around with Terra, trying to distract herself. The girl was delighted and out of breath by the time her parents decided it was time to head home for dinner. She held the Doctor and River's hands, asking if she could help fly the TARDIS. 

 

The Doctor smiled and agreed, helping to instruct her. The twins could at this point fly the TARDIS to a certain extent, knowing how to change the time they were in, but still having difficulty changing location, especially for planet jumps. Arthur knew what most of the buttons did, but couldn't string together what order to press them in. Terra had yet to learn. 

 

River acted more as an extra pair of eyes, letting her husband take lead in this. The ship had a shaky lift off since trying to since and trying to level the controls both took two hands, but the flight smoothed out. 

 

Terra beamed at her achievement, proud of herself for flying the ship for the first time. 

 

"[What do you want for dinner, my little star?]" The Doctor asked. 

 

"[Grilled Cheese!]" She signed enthusiastically, not caring that they had had it for breakfast a day or so before. 

 

"[Alright, but you have to eat some fruit with it.]" 

 

She nodded, "[I will!]" 

 

They soon exited the ship, going to the flat. Terra was eager to help make the food, immediately running to the kitchen to get the cheese. "[Mummy, can I cut it up?]" Terra asked, looking at the cheese knife. 

 

"[Not this time, I'll do that bit, but you can do everything else.]" River took the knife, still not entirely trusting that the little girl wouldn't accidentally cut herself with it. 

 

Terra pouted, but the Doctor suggested she pick out a bread and she quickly busied herself with that. It only took her a minute to get the bread, running over with the loaf. 

 

"[Do you know how to turn the stove on, little star?]" The Doctor asked. 

 

She shook her head, "[Can you show me?]" 

 

He nodded. "[Here, you stand back and turn the knob like this.]" He demonstrated, then turned the flame off again so she could try. 

 

She flicked the knob, beaming at how grown up it made her feel. 

 

"[Lovey job, sweetheart.]" He put the pan on the flame along with a bit of butter to melt in it. River brought over the cut cheese, then went to go clean off the table. 

 

Terra help with as much cooking as her parents would allow, and soon enough their food was ready and they were sitting down to eat. 

 

Terra had no problems digging in, munching on her food. River was a bit slower, eyes flickering between the Doctor and the little girl. The two were signing a silly conversation; Terra had wondered when humans would invent genetically engineered pegasi which had lead to thoughts about what kinds of "[really cool animals that can breathe fire like dragons]" might be invented in the future. 

 

The conversation made River smile. It was comforting to see her daughter smiling and laughing with the Doctor again. 

 

The conversation flowed towards the subject of dragons, which Terra easily got hooked on. The Doctor told her of the time he and River fought a malfunctioning robot dragon at the Asgard ™ theme park. 

 

"[Is that true, Mummy? Did you really get to fight a dragon?]" 

 

"[Of course it's true! We saved a little boy, his name was Mure and he had accidentally gotten picked up by the dragon. Your Daddy was very smart and he used his sonic screwdriver to get the boy to jump into my arms just in time.]" She told the story, the little girl hanging onto every word. 

 

"[I want to go fight a dragon!]" Terra declared when River had told the whole thing. She'd finished her food by the point. 

 

"[Well, you can only fight a dragon if there are people in danger. Just because they look big and scary doesn't mean they're all bad.]" 

 

Terra thought for a moment. "[If we find a nice dragon can we make friends and ride on it's back?]" 

 

"[I suppose so.]" She nodded, "[Now why don't you go watch a bit of telly before you take a bath.]" 

 

Terra beamed, hopping off her chair and skipping to the living room, leaving her plate at the table. The Doctor picked up her plate and his, moving to take River's. "I can do the washing up." 

 

"Are you sure?" She watched him. 

 

"Yes." He smiled softly. "I don't mind." 

 

"Do you want tea?" She asked, getting up to get the kettle. 

 

"Yes, thank you." He nodded, moving to the sink to do the dishes. 

 

She made tea for them, handing him a cup once it was made. He looked grateful, taking a long sip. 

 

"You're doing really well with her." She murmured. 

 

"Thank you." He smiled weakly. "It's starting to feel a bit more smooth." 

 

"Good." She gave him a half smile, her gaze shifting to her tea cup. 

 

He looked at her hands around her cup, noting that the cuticles of her fingers had been recently worried at and the skin there was loose. "...Do you want to watch a movie or something after Terra goes to sleep? I know it's not the Onyx Cliffs, but as long as we have a night in we can still, em, spend some time together." 

 

She looked back up at him, "That sounds nice. I'd like that very much."

 

He smiled. "I'm glad." 

 

River finished her tea, then went to put their daughter to bed. 

 

Terra was quite energetic in her bath, playing "Giant squid slayer" and taking some convincing to get out and dry off. She insisted on two bedtime stories. River obliged in her daughter's request, though the girl fell asleep halfway through the second one. 

 

Soon enough, Terra was tucked contently into her bed and dreaming. River crept back down the stairs once she was sure the girl was sleeping, going to find her husband. 

 

He was crouched in front of their DVD collection, scrutinizing each title for something appropriate. 

 

"See anything good?" River asked, curling onto the sofa with a blanket. 

 

"Good if you happen to be under twelve. When did we get so much Disney?" 

 

"I believe it was when we started having children, dear." She smiled softly. 

 

"Ah." He tutted. "Any thoughts?"  

 

"I'm up for anything, as long as it's not a children's movie." 

 

After a few more minutes of pondering, he pulled out 'Renegade King', a medieval fantasy movie that wasn't actually to be in production for another fifteen years or so. "How's this?" 

 

She nodded her approval. He triumphantly set up the movie and settled on the couch next to his wife. She draped the blanket over him, curling up beside him. The warmth from her body and his delight at having her close filled him and he ventured to weave their fingers together. She melted a bit closer to him, her head resting just beneath his chin. 

 

Content stayed with him as the movie played, which he wasn't paying a ton of attention to in the first place. 

 

River stopped paying attention to the movie about halfway through, nuzzling his neck lightly with her nose. 

 

He shivered. "Your nose is cold." He commented. 

 

"Sorry." She breathed, her breath warm against his skin. 

 

He smiled. "That's alright. I'm sure my neck makes a brilliant nose-warmer." She hummed, pressing her lips against his skin. He couldn't help but hum as well. "That's much warmer." 

 

"Shall we pause the movie?" She smiled, pressing another kiss to his jaw. 

 

"That's alright with me." He nodded. She moved to kiss him deeply. He met her lips when he realized what she was doing, more than happy to spend their alone time snogging instead of watching a screen. 

 

She pulled him close, moving to straddle his hips. He let his arms wrap around her waist, as heat rushed to lower parts of him. She smiled against his lips, happy to have his attention. 

 

They hadn't actually paused the movie yet but were quite openly ignoring it now. 

 

"I'm sorry." She murmured against his lips. 

 

He made a confused noise. "Whatever for?" 

 

"This morning, in the bathroom..." 

 

"It's quite alright, dear." He assured. 

 

"Are you sure?" 

 

"Yes, River." He kept his tone gentle. "This is a hard change, and everyone deals with change differently." 

 

She looked down at her lap, still looking guilty. He took her hands. 

 

"I'm not holding anything against you, River. Your feelings are true and valid and yours. It's only fair that I support you in dealing with them, just as you're supporting me with dealing with mine." 

 

She nodded, giving his hands a weak squeeze. He kissed her cold nose and then her cheeks. "I love you." 

 

"I...love you too." She whispered. 

 

He kissed her again, softly this time in contrast to her heated snogs, but with all the same want for her. She closed her eyes, shifting more comfortably. 

 

He held her tightly just as there was a knock on the door. 

 

"Who on Earth could that be." She frowned slightly.  

 

"It's nearly nine." He shared her expression. "Are you expecting anyone?" 

 

The knocking came again. 

 

She shook her head in response to his question, getting up to answer the door. 

  
  


There on their stoop stood an old woman in red robes, a bit shorter than River; Ohila. 

 

River frowned, "Why are you here? What do you want?" 

 

"Isn't that obvious, child?" She invited herself inside. "I'm here to bring bad news, of course." 

 

River’s eyes darted towards where the Doctor was, "How did you find this place?" 

 

"Through your husband's home planet," Ohila replied. 

 

The Doctor had put himself in front of the stairs, very much not wanting the woman to go near Terra. 

 

"They've been tracking him." Ohila was openly glaring at the Doctor, though answering River. 

 

River swallowed with obvious unease, looking between Ohila and her husband, "Tracking him?”

 

“And  _ found  _ him. That's why I was able to come here: because they've secured your location and by my guess will be here in a few hours to kill you all. Mostly just you,  _ Melody _ , and your children, but the Doctor, too, if they're smart." 

 

River didn't wait to hear if there was any more, "Call Jack!" She shot at her husband as she ran up the stairs to get their daughter. The Doctor scurried to the phone and Ohila made herself comfortable on the couch. 

 

Terra was none too happy about being woken up. "[I was having a good dream! You made me miss the best part.]" 

 

River was signing very fast. "[I'm sorry, darling, but I need you to get all your stuffies and everything you may need and go to the TARDIS. As quick as you can.]" 

 

"[I'm tired, I wanna sleep.]" She wasn't getting up. 

 

"[You can sleep in the TARDIS, I promise.]" River was already gathering the little girl's things for her. 

 

Terra rubbed her eye. "[Why do I gotta move?]" 

 

"[Because we have to go. I don't want you to worry, but I do need you to listen to me.]" 

 

"[Tell me.]" She insisted, slowly climbing off her bed with her blankie in hand. 

 

River shook her head, grabbing the bag she had thrown together and shooing the girl down the stairs. 

 

"[Wait, you forgot him.]" Terra pointed to her stuffed mantaphant. 

 

Her mother grabbed the mantaphant, "[Anything else important?]" 

 

She looked sleepily around the room, then shook her head. River ushered her down the stairs, throwing her bag into the TARDIS, "[Go find the cats and put them in the TARDIS.]" She told her daughter before going to the Doctor. 

 

"Jack's put the Hub in lockdown, which means no TARDIS can enter it for now." The Doctor informed. 

 

"That's not good enough. I want them with us." River shook her head. 

 

"...I'll call him back." He murmured. 

 

"Wait..." She took a deep breath, trying to  calm down, "Do you think they'll be safe there?" 

 

"About as safe as Terra is in the TARDIS." He murmured, unconvincingly. "I personally know that Jack's shields work very well, but I also know what my people are capable of. Missy got in several times, as she was bloody bananas." 

 

"I don't know what to do..." She whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. She was terrified for the safety of her children. 

 

Terra came up to her, tapping her leg. "[I put all the kitties in Mumma TARDIS.]" 

 

"[Thank you, my darling.]" She scooped the girl up, holding her tightly, looking at the Doctor and Ohila with frightened eyes, (the latter of whom has started making herself some tea).

 

"The more technology you use," Ohila said, "The brighter target you paint on your backs. Your defense is all very well, but machines can be hacked, tampered with, and broken." 

 

"We could put the TARDIS in orbit in the vortex and power it down. Then, if we put shields on the flat and generate as much energy as we can, perhaps they'll come here first and that could buy us some time to think of another plan." River suggested.  

 

The Doctor nodded in agreement. "In that case, we should call Jack and get the kids here." 

 

She nodded, "Of course. Ohila, do you know how they're tracking him? Are they using just his energy signatures or is it something else?" 

 

"I believe they tracked the TARDIS he used to escape Gallifrey. Where ever that landed is where they'll go first." 

 

"They're going to go to the Hub first then, we need to get the children immediately." 

 

The Doctor was already dialing the phone again. "Come on... pick up." 

 

River ushered Terra into the TARDIS along with the Toby before hurrying back to the Doctor's side, clasping onto his arm. 

 

"He's not picking up." The Doctor looked at her worriedly. 

 

"Ring him again." She clutched his arm tighter. 

 

He dialed Torchwood again, impatiently tapping his fingers on the counter. She caught his hand in hers, trying to act as some sort of comfort. She could feel Ohila's eyes on their backs. 

 

He put the phone down when it went to voicemail again. "It could just be the lockdown..." 

 

She pressed her face into his shoulder, needing a moment to think. Her concern for their family was clouding her thoughts and making it hard to come up with a plan. 

 

He took a breath. "Maybe you should take Terra to the vortex while I set up the energy spikes and we can meet back here." 

 

"No, I'm not losing you again." She shook her head, "We're doing this together."  

 

"Alright." He knew time wasn't on their side, but she was right. "TARDIS first. Ohila, are you coming?" 

 

The woman nodded, walking towards the ship with her tea. 

 

"I have to get something." River breathed, running up the stairs. 

 

The Doctor followed Ohila into the TARDIS where Terra was waiting patiently on the jump seat. He brought his daughter to her bedroom. 

 

"[Who is that lady?]" Terra asked as her father tucked her back in. 

 

"[Do you remember before I left I told you about Karn?]" 

 

She nodded, "[The ladies that watch you.]" 

 

"[Yes, well, Ohila is one of those ladies. The boss lady, actually.]" 

 

"[Why is she here? I thought they didn't know about us.]" 

 

He thought for a second. "[They didn't, but a bit of a situation came up, so she came to find me. Mummy and I are going to be working with her tonight, so we might be out for a little while.]" He reached into his pocket and pulled out two familiar bracelets, giving her one and putting the other on his own wrist. "[If you need us, just make some noise at this, and we'll come to you.]" 

 

She nodded, slipping the bracelet on her wrist. She was too tired for much more interrogation, easily slipping back to sleep. He kissed her temple and returned to the console room. 

 

Ohlia was there, but River still wasn't back. He frowned and looked at the other woman with a sigh. "I'll be back. Don't go anywhere. Don't even think about going near my daughter because I'll know." With that, he went to find River. 


	16. A Known Consort of the Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your vortex manipulator. It can get through Jack's shields because it's not as complicated as a TARDIS. Then we can get the others and bring them to where the Ponds were taken. We can't use technology to get back to the 1930's, but we can use the same way the Ponds did: Weeping angels."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, I love putting River in shitty situations ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Ch 16**

 

The Doctor ventured out into the flat. It was oddly quiet without any of the children’s or pets’ minds emitting the soft hums of dreams. He headed up the stairs. "River?" He called. "We've got to get moving, have you found what you were looking for?" 

 

There was no answer, only the soft creaks of the old house. He swallowed, not liking the feeling that was forming in his gut. With all that was happening, he didn't think the answering silence was a good sign. 

 

"River?" He peered down the hallway towards their bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and the light emitting from it showed shadows of movement inside. 

 

He reached for his screwdriver, creeping over to the door. 

 

River was inside the room, though she wasn't alone. His eyes widened and he held his breath, trying to get a better look at what was going on without being spotted. 

 

River appeared to be searching through a drawer and was currently unaware of the second figure who stood on the opposite side of the room as her. Oddly enough, neither person's movements made any sound, most likely the result of a sound barrier, which is why she must not have heard the Doctor's calls. Unfortunately, it also meant she couldn't hear the impending threat behind her. 

 

He watched as the person took a step towards her. Without a second thought, he stepped into the room, putting himself between River and the intruder and pointing his sonic as menacingly as he could. "Not a  _ step  _ closer to my wife." 

 

"The Consort of the Doctor has been summoned before the High Council." The figure replied, "She must be taken for trial and sentencing." 

 

"Is that what they're calling my wife now? "The Consort"? She's got a whole lot more identity outside her association with me, you know-- not that telling a pre-programmed android is going to warrant a name change, but it wouldn't be wrong of me to assume your owners are listening."

He moved backward, brushing River with his leg as to get her attention. She might not have been able to hear his stalling, but sound would hardly matter if she could get her guard up and gun in hand. As soon as she realized what was going on, River jumped up, blaster in hand. 

 

"The Consort of the Doctor will be taken into custody." The android repeated. 

 

"No, I don't think she will." He activated his screwdriver, sparks starting to fly from the android. With that, the sound barrier was broken and the broken android began to alarm. It wouldn’t be long before reinforcements would arrive. 

 

"We have to run." He grabbed River’s hand and started for the door. 

 

"What was all that?" She asked as they ran downstairs and into the TARDIS. 

 

"Call it our law and order system." He muttered as he threw the ship into gear. 

 

"Where's Terra and Ohila?" She looked around the console room. 

 

His eyes darted around, noting that the older woman was gone. "Damn it, I told her not to go near our daughter." He started running for Terra's room. River was on his heels, the two bursting into Terra's room. 

 

Ohila was sitting on the side of their daughter’s bed, trying to convince the girl to come with her without actually knowing any sign language. Terra had her arms crossed, looking quite grumpy and unconvinced. 

 

River was on the other woman in a moment, blaster pressed to her forehead, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" 

 

"Or "thank you", as some people would say," Ohila replied calmly. The Doctor scooped Terra into his arms. 

 

"Why would I thank you for trying to take my daughter from me." River growled. 

 

"Because that's not, in fact, what I was trying to do." Ohila stood and brushed her skirts off. "Some androids came onto the ship requesting the Offspring of the Doctor, I gave them the wrong directions, and then came to remove your daughter from danger." 

 

River slowly backed off, "I'm sorry..." She murmured, "I misunderstood. Thank you for protecting her." Though she still didn't trust the woman, she was grateful that she had attempted to keep Terra safe. 

 

"[What is happening?]" Terra demanded. "[I thought you were out with her?]" 

 

River looked at the Doctor, not knowing what to tell their daughter. The Timelord sighed. "[My little star, that wasn't entirely true. I didn't want you to have any nightmares, so I didn't tell you, but the truth is there are some bad people that have come to Earth and they're trying to hurt us.]" 

 

"[What bad people? I thought my other Daddy went away to protect us from all the bad people.]" She frowned. 

 

He tried to ignore the words 'other daddy'. "[I did. But sometimes things don't work out the way you hope they will.]"

 

Her frown deepened, "[What about Amelia and Freya and Arthur?]" 

 

"[Uncle Jack is keeping them safe.]" At least he hoped. 

 

"We need to find a safer place for Terra." River murmured. "I was thinking...perhaps we could leave her with...my parents." 

 

The Doctor looked surprised at the suggestion. "How would we go about that, exactly?" 

 

"I...I don't know. But if we can find a way to get her there, she should be safe." 

 

He nodded and thought. "It would be better if all the kids could get there." His face lit up with an idea and he gestured for them to follow and he walked out of the room with Terra still on his hip. "Your vortex manipulator. It can get through Jack's shields because it's not as complicated as a TARDIS. Then we can get the others and bring them to where the Ponds were taken. We can't use technology to get back to the 1930's, but we can use the same way the Ponds did: Weeping angels." 

 

"And will we be able to get them back?" River asked. 

 

"Yes. New York may be impossible to get to, but if we have them bring the kids out of the city, we can pick them up when all this is over. If not... well, they'll be in good hands." 

 

The last part made River’s hearts stutter. The possibility of never seeing her children again was unbearable, but at the same time, she knew if they didn't go then the children were at risk of being killed and River would rather have them safe and alive than dead. "Okay..." She nodded, swallowing, "Do you want me to get them?" 

 

"Let's do it together." He murmured, remembering her earlier words. They arrived at the console room and he found the vortex manipulator. "Ohila, you stay here and take care of the androids."

 

Ohila nodded as River took the vortex manipulator and programmed it with the coordinates. The Doctor did a quick sonic of the device so it'd be able to carry all of them at once.

 

"Ready?" 

 

River nodded, holding both him and their daughter tightly. They heard voices echoing: "The Offspring of the Doctor will be taken into custody," before they vanished and landed forcefully in the Hub. 

 

River was on her feet immediately, blaster out and scanning the room. 

 

"Mummy!" Arthur cried excitedly when he saw her. He and his other sisters were sat on the couch playing some non-descript board game with Jack. The place was dark and lit by flashlights. 

 

"Oh, Arthur!" She ran to hug him, "Thank goodness, we were so worried." 

 

"Uncle Jack said there were bad guys who want to get us so we had to lock everything up and turn off all the electricity but it's really boring. Did you get them?" 

 

"Not yet, but we're working on it. We came to take you somewhere safer." She murmured, going to hug the twins. 

 

"Where are we going?" Freya asked.

 

"We're going to send you to stay with your grandmum and grandad. Just for a little while, you'll be much safer there, I promise." 

 

"But... they're dead." Amelia frowned. 

 

"Well, in this time, yes. But we're going to take you back in time." 

 

"How long will we be away?"

 

"I don't know. We're going to come back to you as soon as we can." River murmured, stroking Amelia's cheek, "Now, we need to be quick. Get your bags and make sure you have everything you need." 

 

"They're not going to recognize us, are they?" Freya asked. 

 

River hesitated, "I'll send a letter with you just in case, but I don't think they will." 

 

"[I don't want to leave you, Mummy.]" Terra whimpered. 

 

"[I don't want to leave you either, my little star, but I have to. It's the only way you're going to be safe.]" It broke her hearts but she knew it had to be done. 

 

Terra clung to River while the other kids got their things together. River kissed her forehead, rubbing her back comfortingly. "[I have to write a letter to your grandmum… Can you keep something safe for me?]" River asked the little girl who nodded, sniffling. River reached into her pocket, pulling out a familiar blue box, "[I want you to take care of this. And when your with your grandmum and granddad, you can use the pictures in here to tell them all about our fun adventures together.]" 

 

Terra hugged the box close to her chest, look up at River. "[What if you get hurt while you're away?]" 

 

"[I'll do my best not to get hurt]." 

 

Arthur came up to them. "We're ready, Mummy." 

 

"Okay." River quickly scribbled a note to her parents, giving it to Freya, then looked at her husband. 

 

"We have one stop to make before you see your grandparents: New York, 2012." The Doctor addressed the kids. "Say thank you to Uncle Jack." 

 

"Thank you." They said in unison, each one going to give him a hug. 

 

River copied the action, "Thank you for keeping them safe, Jack." 

 

"My pleasure, River. If you need help, you know where to find me. Good luck." 

 

She nodded, herding the children close so they could leave. There came a banging from outside, with mechanical voices demanding for them. "That's our cue." They disappeared from the Hub. 

 

They all found themselves stumbling onto grass, River, once again, immediately on guard. They were in the graveyard just outside Manhattan, the Weeping Angel that had taken Amy and Rory staring River down. 

 

The kids ran to hide behind her, not understanding why their parents had taken them to a monster. 

 

"My loves, I know it's scary, but you must let the Angel take you." The Doctor said. "No time machine can travel to New York in the time that your grandparents live. That's why it's the safest place for you, the...bad people...won't be able to get to you. But you have to let the angel take you." 

 

Terra burst into tears. "[Then how are you going to get back to us??]" 

 

"[We'll find a way. I promise, my love, we'll find a way.]" 

 

River reached out to offer her hand, eyes never leaving the statue. 

 

"How do you know it'll take us to them?" Freya asked. She couldn’t image what danger her parents were trying to face if it meant something as extreme as feeding them to an Angel.

 

"Because this angel is dying,” River answered, “It can only send you to one place, one time. It's the same one that took your grandparents, so it has to take you to them." River explained, swallowing the lump in her throat. "It'll be okay." 

 

"We need you all to be very brave right now." The Doctor whispered. "You need to look out for each other until we get back." 

 

The children nodded, all of them teary eyed. "Can't you come with us? We can all hide together." Arthur asked. 

 

"We can't hide from this problem, I'm sorry. We've got to fix it or it'll never end." 

 

Terra ran to hug her father's legs, crying openly. He knelt down and hugged her back. "[I love you to the moon and back, my little star.]" 

 

"[Love you too.]"

 

He hugged his other children and took over looking at the Angel so River could hug the kids, too. She gave each one of them a long, warm hug, telling them how much she loved them and to be brave and good and to take care of one another. 

 

Finally, the Song children stood in front of the Weeping Angel holding each other's hands, Terra clutching the blue box and Freya’s hand. 

 

The Doctor put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "Close your eyes, my love." 

 

River was shaking, looking at her children for possibly the last time. Her chest felt even tighter than the last time she’d been here, so tight wasn’t breathing. She could feel her face growing hot as her vision blurred with tears.

 

And then she blinked. Her children were gone when she opened her eyes. 

 

"We need to go." The Doctor whispered hoarsely. She was stone still, staring at the empty place that their children had been standing in just moments before. He took her wrist, programming the vortex manipulator for her. 

 

They dematerialized, going back to the TARDIS. They fell onto the floor of the ship, though River didn't move this time. He sat with her for a silent minute. 

 

"We need to let the androids take us." He finally said.

 

She nodded, obviously trying to gather her composure, not wanting to cry in front of him. It was difficult because she knew it was the loud, messy kind of tears she was holding back. That kind that wouldn’t ever stop if she let them start. 

 

He was watery-eyed himself, not trying to hide it so much as he said shakily, "We did the right thing." 

 

"I know, but...what if we never get them back? What if we never see them again?" 

 

"Then they'll be safe and in good hands." He assured. 

 

"But not our hands." 

 

He nodded solemnly. "I suppose we'd better not die, then." 

 

"We'd better not." She took a deep breath, eyes shut tightly. 

 

Ohila entered the console room at that moment. "I saw five of those things enter, but I've only gotten four." 

 

River looked at her husband, taking another breath, "I suppose that's ours then." 

 

"Yes, I suppose it is." He stood slowly and offered a hand up. She took his hand, standing up. 

 

"You're letting it take you?" Ohila asked. 

 

"We have to, we have to find a way to stop them." 

 

"I wish you luck, for all our sakes." 

 

River nodded, "I'm sure we won't have to wait too long for it to find us." 

 

The Doctor nodded, thinking back to the first android's threat _. Trial and sentencing.  _ "River... when we get there, they're probably going to split us up. Your "trail" is mostly likely some sort of medical examination and then an interrogation. There are some people who think the Prophecy should not be interfered with, but the High Council's opinion is what's going to matter. They want to intervene which means they want the Hybrid out of their way. I know convincing them to leave our family alone is a long shot, but it'll buy us time at the least if you can keep them talking." 

 

She nodded, giving his hand a very tight squeeze, "Try not to get yourself killed again." 

 

"I'll do my best. It's my main thing." He brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles. She smiled weakly, the sound of footsteps could be heard coming down the corridor towards them. He closed his eyes and pressed his face to her palm. 

 

"I'll be okay." She whispered, pulling him closer to her, wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

 

"I hope so." He said in the same tone. 

 

Behind him, the android approached, spouting its instructions. She kissed her husband quickly, then turned to look at the android. The thing had its hands held up in front of it, palms facing out towards them. "The Consort of the Doctor will comply."

 

River raised her hands up in surrender, "We're complying. And I do have a name, I'm not just the  _ Consort _ of the Doctor." 

 

A green light shot out from the robot's hands, creating a pair of photonic bonds around River's wrists. "The Consort has been obtained." 

 

"Oh, handcuffs, my favorite! How did you know?" She watched the robot carefully, studying its movements. 

 

"I believe most of the galaxy knows that." The Doctor whispered. She snorted.

 

The android put its hands together in a praying position. "Preparing for transport." 

 

She took a deep breath, preparing herself to face whatever the High Council had in store for her. 


	17. Somebody Catch My Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The man raised an eyebrow. "I understand you are not native to our planet, but you will address your Lord President as so."
> 
> "I will do so if it is agreed that I will be addressed by my name, not my marital status." She shot back in the same tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I write fan fiction instead of studying. Tw: electro-shock torture. Enjoy!

**Ch 17**

 

River and the Doctor were teleported out of their console room in an unpleasant and bumpy manner, appearing on a platform overlooking a huge, glass-encapsulated. metallic city.

 

"The Consort has been delivered. The Consort will be held to tria-" The android didn't get to finished before the Doctor, still unhandcuffed, soniced the thing and caused it to fall apart.

 

"Well, dear, that was a bit unnecessary." River murmured, raising an eyebrow. "I believe he had a bit more to say, that might have been a bit useful knowing."

 

"Probably not." He used the screwdriver to release her handcuffs before tucking it away. "They could've used that to track a path back to the TARDIS. Right now, I need Ohila alive. It's plan C."

 

She rubbed her wrists, looking out at the city before them, "This is Gallifrey..."

 

"I would've liked to show it to you under different circumstances." He sighed. "What do you think?"

 

"It's magnificent." She murmured, the glow of the city reflecting in her eyes.

 

He could hear hurried footsteps somewhere behind them, knowing they had only minutes before they would be taken away. He tried to focus on her instead, watching the light brush over her features and curls. "You think so?"

 

She nodded, smiling weakly, "It looks even more amazing than how I pictured it to look for all these years."

 

"Words can only take you so far." He hummed, remembering the stories he'd told her. "Action does the rest."

 

She reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly. He squeezed back, someone shouting in Gallifreyan behind them, "Hey, you two! What do you think you're doing."

 

"See you on the other side." He whispered.

 

"I love you." She mouthed to him, turning to face the voices and switching to their language, "Well, that's no way to treat a guest. We were summoned here. River Song, reporting for my trial." She flashed them a smile.

 

There were three of them, two men dressed in reddish-brown armor and carrying guns, and the other man dressed in velvety red robes with gold trimming. "You are not a guest, you are a prisoner. Cuff her."

 

She glanced over at the Doctor, "Well, normally I'd say buy me dinner first, but if you want to jump right to it..." Her husband couldn't help but smile at his wife flirting in the face of danger.

 

One of the armored men approached. "Wrists, please."  

 

She held her wrists out for him, "You might want to be careful, my husband has a jealous streak you should probably be aware of."

 

The armored one said nothing, returning to his post behind the one in robes. "You will come with us," said the latter.  

 

She huffed, "I really don't see where else I'd go."

 

They remained unamused, turning and walking back to the corridor they came from. The Doctor and River followed.

 

River observed their surroundings, watching them men in front of them with curiosity.

 

"Not that I'm complaining," The Doctor whispered in English. "But you'd think they'd be smart enough to cuff me, too."

 

"I was thinking the same thing." She murmured, giving him a half smile.

 

"Apparently you're more dangerous than I am. Not surprising."

 

"They must have looked me up." She joked. He hummed in agreement as they were led to what looked like a meeting room.

 

The windows were round and held a resemblance to modern Gallifreyan words. The long, brass table also had circular sentences etched into it. All who were seated at the table rose. They looked like the man in robes who'd lead them here, but in addition to what the first man was wearing, had large, golden headdresses sitting on their shoulders with the symbol of the High Council on them.

 

The older man at the head of the table had a unique headdress in that it was full of more writing.

 

"The Consort," said the man who'd lead prisoners here, gesturing to River. "And the Doctor."

 

"I prefer to be addressed as Professor River Song." River bit out, holding her head high. Her joking remarks were gone now, her expression stone cold.

 

"Are you sure it's her?" Asked the man at the head of the table.

 

The other man nodded, "The android that captured her was able to report back confirming scans before it was destroyed."

 

He nodded to himself, moving from his place and approaching them. "The Hybrid."

 

River’s eyes flickered to the Doctor, "Why have I been summoned here?" She demanded though she knew why. She was trying to keep them talking, the plan that they had agreed upon earlier.

 

The man raised an eyebrow. "I understand you are not native to our planet, but you will address your Lord President as so."

 

"I will do so if it is agreed that I will be addressed by _my name_ , not my marital status." She shot back in the same tone.

 

"Very well, _Professor,_ " Rassilon said, then nodded to the two guards who lead them here. "Put the Doctor someplace uncomfortable."

 

River looked back at her husband as the two guards approached him. He looked alarmed, not wanting to be put back in the place he'd been trapped last time.

 

She could see the alarm in his eyes, immediately jumping to his defense. "Why does he have to go? Are you _afraid_ of what he might do? A room full of the mighty High Council is afraid of one Time Lord?"

 

"We are not afraid of him, Professor, but he is of no use to us. We need him out of the way." Rassilon waved his hand in a sweeping gesture, an instruction for them to take the Doctor away.

 

"Take him away and I promise you'll regret it. I'll make this much harder for you than it needs to be."

 

"I have all the time in the world." He sneered as the guards hauled her husband off.

 

She clenched her teeth, biting back a response.

 

"Chancellor Hedin, fetch the Surgeon General and his team. We're going to make a little trip of our own."

 

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what you're going to do." River snapped, twisting her hands in the cuffs, trying to work her way out of them.

 

"Don't struggle, child, it's useless." He chided as others moved around him to carry out his instructions. "We need a full medical examination."

 

"You don't have my permission. I will not comply!"

 

"You're a prisoner. I don't need your permission." He reminded.

 

Two more guards came up behind her, grabbing her arms. She struggled against them, bucking and yanking to get away from them. It was a struggle all the way down to the examination room, but they made it there, if not a little more bruised than when they started from River's resistance.

 

River refused to stay on the exam table, kicking and whacking everyone in her reach. Eventually, the medics, dressed in sterile white, were told to tie her down to the table. Any hands that drew too close were bitten until they bled and it took a head strap and metal restraints to finally get her still enough to be examined.

 

"You put up quite the fuss," Rassilon said. He and a few of the High Council members stood to watch over what was happening. The two guards who'd escorted them and the six others who'd been called in to help restrain River stood tiredly on the sidelines in hopes they'd have a break before being called back to duty.

 

"I wasn't bluffing with my warning." She snarled back at him.

 

"No matter. We have you still now and we will proceed."

 

"What are you going to do?"

 

"Nothing that will hurt if you keep still." He warned, then ordered for the Surgeon General to approach. "You will run her blood through diagnostics. Check her for abnormalities, inside and out."

 

River wanted to fight, but there was no point right now since she was strapped down. She finally stopped struggling, saving her energy for when she actually had a shot at breaking free.

 

The medics approached her cautiously. Seeing that she was relatively resigned for the moment, they started drawing her blood. They took an entire two liter, which probably was more than necessary.

 

The Surgeon General stepped forwards to inject her arm with something clear and warm. "That may be uncomfortable."

 

"What is that?" She tried to jerk away, mind flashing back to a decade ago when she had been taken by Kovarian.

 

"Nothing harmful, just something of a binding agent." This man seemed a key more relaxed than Rassilon and much less cocky. "It'll go through all your systems so we can create a map of how you're built. Though side effects may include mild muscle spasms, nausea, and, um, vivid flashbacks if that's what you're wondering about."

 

"Why should I believe anything you say?" She struggled more.

 

"Believing me or not won't change the truth." He shrugged and called for a scanner. She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

 

Someone handed him a tablet. He tapped a few things on it until it produced a three-dimensional hologram of River. Things were still loading on it as the drug slowly worked through her system and relayed information back to the tablet. She was already getting nauseous.

 

"How long will this take?" Rassilon demanded.

 

"About twenty minutes, Lord President." The man bowed.

 

Rassilon looked behind him. "You, guard. Go see if our other prisoner has been taken care of."

 

The man nodded, running off to check on the Doctor. River was back to fighting her restraints, as her mind saw Kovarian towering over her.

 

"Is there something we can give her to calm her?" One of the medics asked.

 

"She doesn't need to be calmed, she's fine." Rassilon snapped, not caring whether or not River was comfortable.

 

The medic shrunk back, becoming silent. The minutes ticked by tediously, with River fighting and straining against the straps. It looked exactly like she was having a night terror.

 

It only ended when the guard came back to report his findings. "Lord President, I'm afraid to report the Doctor has...escaped."

 

Rassilon whipped around to face the guard. "Escaped? What do you mean escaped?!"  

 

"He isn't in the cell where we left him, sir."

 

"Then you will damn well find him before he causes real trouble!" He growled. The guard nodded, running off. Three of the other guards in the room went to aid the search.

 

"Change of plans, Surgeon General," Rassilon said bitterly. "Interrogation is going to have to have to come _before_ the trail. I want to know where her children are. Now."

 

River groaned from the table, still out of it from the drugs.

 

"Sir, she's not ready. Any serious trauma, while the serum is still in her system, could be permanent. It has to wear off first."

 

"I don't care! I want the location of those children!" He shouted.

 

Hesitantly, the Surgeon General bowed in compliance and moved to the corner of the room to retrieve a box-ish item with many buttons and knobs on it and wires coming from it. He started putting electrode stickers on various points of River’s body; her temples, her wrists, her shoulders, and her ankles.

 

"Don't touch me." River growled, "Get off of me."

 

"I really am sorry, but I must follow orders." He murmured, now placing alligator clips over the electrodes and on her fingertips.

 

She twisted and jerked, making the process as difficult as possible. Eventually, he got all the clips on and moved to stand by the box-device.

 

Rassilon took his place, hovering menacingly over River. " _Professor_."

 

"Let me go." She hissed, twisting on the table.

 

"If you answer honestly, then I will. Where are your children, Professor Song?"

 

"I don't have children."

 

He nodded to the Surgeon General who turned a knob on the machine, which sent electricity through the wires and into River's body. Her body jerked from the shock and she cried out, the sound echoing through the halls. The shock was turned off after ten seconds.

 

"It's no use lying to me, Professor. Your scan shows you and gave birth to at least one child other in this body besides the one you are currently pregnant with. Where is it?"

 

"He died. He was born dead." She hissed, her body quaking with aftershocks.

 

"You're lying. Do it again!" He ordered for another shock.

 

"I'm not ly-AAAH!!" She withered in pain, her body straining.

 

"Your husband wasn't too keen on talking either, the last time he was here," Rassilon said, watching her suffer. "A thousand years and he never broke. You, child, have an accelerated deadline."

 

"I don't have children." She insisted once she had finally recovered.

 

Rassilon huffed. "If she doesn't confess when the hour is up, kill her." With that, he left, leaving the 'interrogation' to the Surgeon General. River grit her teeth, prepared to die rather than give up the location of her children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I forgot to mention (I went back and edited slightly) but all conversations are spoken in Gallifreyan except between River and the Doctor, who use English.


	18. Out in Darkness, Slithering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't want twelve more lives, not if even one of them is without you."
> 
> "You can't save me every time." She closed her eyes.
> 
> "Well, I bloody well can this time. We promised the kids, River."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the Doctor thinks River is having flashbacks, but she's trying to tell him something important. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Enjoy
> 
> title insperation: http://doctorwho.answers.wikia.com/wiki/What_is_the_Nursery_Rhyme_in_the_episode_Listen

**Ch 18**

 

The voltage increased gradually with each shock as the torture went on. The minutes ticked by but River’s answer remained the same: "I don't have any living children." She repeated it over and over.  

 

There were burns starting to form beneath the electrodes and streaking up her limbs in a lighting pattern. It had been over thirty minutes now, and while River could withstand more than what a human naturally could, it was getting too much. She was only half conscious, the smell of burning flesh filling the room. 

 

She no longer had the energy to keep fighting. All she could do now was keep the location of her children a secret and hope the Doctor was alright.   

 

Suddenly the lights flickered out, the electricity shutting down. The Surgeon frowned, getting up and searching for a causation, but there was no visible cause.

 

The intercoms turned on on their own accord. "Surgeon General?" The voice was rough and Scottish. 

 

"Who are you? What is going on?" The man spun around as if the source of the voice would appear. 

 

"What's going on is that I'm going to count to ten and you're all going to leave that room." Said the voice. 

 

"Why? I don't take orders from you." 

 

"If you want to go home in the same body you arrived in, you do." 

 

The Surgeon hesitated, then quickly exited the room. He was more interested in saving himself than fulfilling Rassilon's orders. The rest of the medics followed him out. 

 

A minute later, the body of the Scottish voice was hurrying in. River was hardly conscious at that point, sizzling burns covering her skin. The Doctor was immediately pulling all the wires of her. "Oh, River... Oh, what did they do to you?"

 

She whispered his name, tilting her head just slightly in his direction. 

 

"I'm here, River. It's going to be alright." He gathered her into his arms. 

 

"The baby..." She breathed, her whole body still shaking with aftershocks and immediately melted in his arms. 

 

"What baby, my love?" He was already bringing her from the room, taking advantage of the blackout to sneak around in the open. 

 

" _ Our _ baby." She whimpered, clinging to him. She was still a bit confused from the vivid memories and the shocks to her brain. 

 

"Our children are safe, River. They're alright." 

 

She wasn't entirely silent with that remark, still muttering about a baby with the little consciousness she had. 

 

She was struggling to keep alert. Every so often her words stopped and her body would spasm in his arms. Her brain was quite damaged from the electrocution. They needed to get out of here, out to the Drylands and away from the people who wanted to hurt them.

 

Around them, guards’ shouts could be heard, and footsteps thundered. "If I can just remember the way..." The Doctor muttered, turning corners sharply. 

 

"Doctor..." River groaned quietly. 

 

"We're almost there." He whispered. Her eyes closed and she fell very quiet. "Keep talking to me, River." He urged. She didn't answer, her body seemed to be growing limper. "No, not now, come on River. Please just hang in there." 

 

He ran into the next doorway, an eerie place overgrown with vines, and set her down. Her body seized again, the only good thing being that it seemed to wake her up some. Her eyes half opened again. 

 

"I've got to fix this." His hands ghosted over her cheeks, stomach knotting at the sight of the burns. 

 

"Our baby." She repeated again, leaning towards his touch. 

 

"Our baby will be just fine." He said, going with whatever she was saying. "I'm going to heal you and you'll be just fine." 

 

She closed her eyes again, "They...gave me...something." She got the words out after a few deep breaths and pauses. 

 

"Do you know what it was?" 

 

"Mapping." She breathed. 

 

"Mapping? Mapping, mapping..." He scrapped his brain for a meaning. "Mapping. Mapping  _ you _ . They gave you the-- don't they know that conducts electricity?"

 

"You escaped. Rassilon wouldn't wait." She murmured, her body seizing again. 

 

"Bollocks." He hissed out. "I need to fix this." He looked at his hands, starting to rub them together. "Come on... just need to get it flowing." 

 

"No!" She reached out weakly to grab his wrists to keep his hands away from her. 

 

"River, this is my fault. You're hurt, your nerves are burnt, you're having a seizure every minute, and it'd be a bloody miracle if your brain wasn't damaged. Let me heal you. I have regeneration energy now." 

 

"No." She repeated, not having even a quarter of the strength she normally had. "Yours, not mine." 

 

"I don't want twelve more lives, not if even one of them is without you."

 

"You can't save me every time." She closed her eyes. 

 

"Well, I bloody well  _ can  _ this time. We promised the kids, River." 

 

Her body seized again, but for longer than the previous times. She let go of his arm, muscles spasming from the ordeal. 

 

"No, no! I'm sorry River, I have to do this!" He willed his hands to start glowing. It took him a moment, but the golden energy finally started to flow and he wasted no time putting his hands on her cheeks. "Come on, River." 

 

The burns across her body slowly began to fade but her eyes remained closed. "Wake up, River." His eyes were welling over. but he didn't notice. "Open your eyes." 

 

Her face twitched, her eyes finally opening slowly. 

 

"River." He whispered. 

 

She brought a shaking hand to rest over his, closing her eyes again. He pressed two fingers to her neck, feeling her pulse. It was still there, weak, but there. She would need time to recover. The drugs in her system couldn't completely be eliminated by the regeneration energy and it was still carrying effects through her body. 

 

He took a breath, trying to calm himself from the panic over her injuries. He scooped her up again and ventured further into the room. The Time Lords wouldn't follow them in here; the Cloisters scared them too much. 

 

"Doctor." River murmured quietly, eyes open enough to look around the room. 

 

"It's alright, River. I'm going to figure this out." 

 

"What happened?" She breathed, "Where are we?" 

 

"We're in the Cloisters. Do you know what that is?" 

 

She nodded, "They took you away." She remembered, trying to piece together the fragments of memory she had. 

 

"Tried to." He corrected. "They should know by now that that never works for long." It had actually been a few of the guards to let him go, ones who’d fought with him in the War.

 

He brought them passed a Dalek overgrown with the strange vines in the place. 

 

River saw the Dalek, closing her eyes for a moment, "Our baby..." She repeated again. 

 

He glanced at the Dalek, shaking his head. "It can't hurt us. It's trapped." 

 

The Dalek powered on at that moment, forcing out a strained "Exterminate." 

 

"Just ignore it." He told River. She nodded, tearing her eyes away from the Dalek. 

 

All around them, strange noises and echoes rang out, shadows of movement could be caught out of the corner of their eyes. "The Cloisters take most who try to break in here." The Doctor explained. "Most of the Daleks, Angels, and Cybermen are leftovers from the Cloister Wars." 

 

"What about us?" She whispered. 

 

"Em, I've been here before, so I think I know the way… We’re safe anyways." 

 

“How?”

 

“We’re not, I just said that to make you feel better.”

 

There was some movement behind them, then next to them, "Doctor..." 

 

suddenly there was an Angel in front of them. The Doctor leaped back, nearly losing his footing. He hardened his expression, moving in a different direction. 

 

In an instant, another one appeared in front of them, reaching out to grab them. He jumped back again in the nick of time. "Deep breaths." He whispered, more to himself than to River. He started backtracking slowly back in the direction of the Dalek. 

 

One of River's hands was tightly clutching the lapels of his jacket, her eyes wide and unblinking in the angel's direction. He was walking backward now, as to keep eyes on the Angels. 

 

"It's alright... its powers are neutralized... it can't hurt us." He wasn't so sure if that was true anymore or if that was just what he was hoping. "The Cloisters just use them as a defense for the Matrix. They're nothing more than puppe-woah!" He tripped on a vine, falling on his rear in front of the Dalek. 

 

"Exterminate!" It shrieked, jerking and pulling against the vines that held it back, "Exterminate!" 

 

"It has to be close if they're acting up like this." He muttered, scrambling back to his feet with River secure in his arms. 

 

"What? Where are we going?" She breathing, forehead pressed to his neck, fighting to keep her eyes open now. 

 

"This place is a database. I'm looking for the circuit board." He informed, starting to run now. 

 

"You can put me down." She whispered, "You can't carry me the whole way." 

 

"Sure I can. We're almost here." 

 

She suddenly cried out, gripping onto his shoulder in pain. "River?" He felt his panic rising. "River what is it?" 

 

She didn't answer the question, not even really hearing it. "No!" She cried out, limbs flailing in panic. She was having another one of the flashbacks caused by the drug, the intensity enough to make her think she was in pain. 

 

He found a relatively empty patch of stone floor to set her down on with only a few vines and no prisoners of the Cloisters in sight. He put his hands on either side of her face. "Look at me, River. Talk to me." 

 

Her eyes flew around the room, looking in every direction before settling on him. It was only a moment before she was attempting to tackle him to the ground. 

 

"River! River!" He choked out, now pinned beneath her body. "It's me! It's the Doctor!" He was holding her wrists to keep her from truly cutting off his air. 

 

Her eyes were blazing, and she was coming at him with as much strength as her body had at the moment. Then, just as quickly as it came, the state vanished. Her eyes seemed to glass over for a moment and she blinked, then fell away from him. 

 

"It's memories, my love." He had started to figure out what was going on by this point. "It's not real." 

 

She wrapped her arms around herself, eyes darting around the hall again. 

 

"I'm here, River." He said as calmly as he could for the moment. "It-It's me." Her eyes fell on him, watching him. "The Doctor. Your husband." He whispered. "You're having flashbacks. They're not real, River. It's okay. You'll be okay, you just have to focus on what's going on, where you really are." 

 

She finally nodded, shaking in the spot she sat. He slowly came nearer to her, reaching his hand out. She carefully placed her hand in his. " _ I'm  _ real. I'm here." 

 

Her grip on his hand tightened and she nodded again. 

 

"The way out is just below us." He gestured to the floor they sat on, which was etched with Gallifreyan patterns. "We can make it through this." She squeezed his hands tightly, looking down and then around them. His thumb brushed over her wedding ring.  "We can make it through this." He repeated. 

 

"Okay." She whispered, "We can make it through." 

 

He smiled weakly and looked back town at the symbols on the floor. He swept his hand over one near him and it lit up with a white glow. "Circuit board." 

 

"What do we have to do?" She asked. 

 

"Work out the key. It should lead the primary service hatch. Escape route." He brushed over another symbol which lit up as well. 

 

She watched him work, trying to figure out what to do so she could help. He seemed to be entering numbers, one of the override codes for the cloister bells in their own TARDIS. Once she figured it out, she jumped in, helping in making the process go by faster. 

 

There was a whirring sound from the other side of the room. The Doctor tensed. When the next code didn't work, River switched to another one. 

 

"They'll be here soon." The Doctor fretted. 

 

"I know." River whispered harshly. He shut up and focused on the codes. 

 

She hesitated, one of the flashbacks starting to draw forward in her mind again. He looked up at her when he saw her hands stopped moving. "Riv?" 

 

"I-" She squeezed her eyes shut, hand clenching into a fist. 

 

"Nono, focus. You can focus." He tried, still typing in codes. Her jaw clenched and her breathing became shallower, but it was clear that she was fighting it. He didn't know what to do besides talk to her. "Deep breaths. It's not real. You're okay, it's not real." 

 

She took a deep breath, eyes opening again. Suddenly the glowing from the symbols stopped and a rumbling from beneath them indicated that the floor was opening up. 

 

River jumped up, staring at the ground beneath them. He took her hand. "Come on. We've got to go." She clutched his hand, letting him lead. 

 

They jumped into the opening beneath them. The floor above them closed, leaving them in darkness. The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver, providing a dim light. "This way."

 

She clutched his hand, stumbling a bit, still shaky on her feet. "Hold on to me. The ground's a bit bumpy." He murmured. 

 

The ground was becoming dirt instead of stone. They seemed to be in a tunnel that was on a downwards slope. She held on tightly, "Do you have any idea where this leads?" 

 

"Depends on which exit one finds." He replied. "I once ended up in the forest. One way leads to an underground river, I think." 

 

"Okay." She breathed, her muscles were tense. She had to admit, she hated the dark. 

 

"We'll probably need to go towards the river." He continued. "It goes out to the Drylands." 

 

"Can we stop for a minute." She breathed, her face paling. He nodded, pausing their walking. 

 

She turned and threw up. He moved to hold her hair back. She coughed, sinking to the ground to steady herself for a minute. "Sorry..." 

 

"No, it's alright." He soothed. 

 

She took a few deep breaths, standing once she felt stable again. He wrapped an arm around her. "Lean on me, yeah?" She nodded, draping an arm over his shoulders for extra support. 

 

They started walking again once he was sure she was ready, moving at a bit of a slower pace. 

 

"I'm sorry." She repeated again as they walked, she was working hard on not tripping. 

 

"It's alright. You've been through a lot today." 

 

"Are we almost there?" She asked, wanting another rest. 

 

"I'm afraid not." He said apologetically. 

 

She didn't speak much after that, walking alongside him in silence, saving her energy and concentrating on the walking. The Doctor knew the walk would be long, but was aware of River's exhaustion. He knew they had to keep moving, so he made sure to pause and rest every ten minutes for her. 

 

She threw up a couple more times, growing wearier though she tried to hide it. The breaks they were taking lasted longer each time.

 

After an hour, they could finally start to hear running water. River was more than relieved to hear the sound, leaning more heavily on her husband. 

 

"We're almost at the river... that was the easy part I'm afraid." He murmured. 

 

"It always has to be hard, doesn't it." She murmured through labored breath. He simply nodded in agreement. In fairness, they were trying to break out of one of the most technologically advanced cities in the universe without being followed, so 'easy' was relative. 

 

River was silent again.


	19. Last of his Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tell me what you know."
> 
> "The Hybrid is believed to be a creature that is the halves of two great warrior races. They believe a Time Lord and a Dalek... though no one knows for sure. Some have begun to think that the Hybrid is not one person, but a pair, working together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight lateness. Enjoy!

**Ch 19**

 

Soon the pair made it to the river. The water looked dark, deep, and wide, rushing by noisily. The spray coming up from it was stingingly cold. River pressed her face against the Doctor’s shoulder to avoid the spray. 

 

He took a silent breath which he held for a moment before releasing it and speaking, "I'm afraid we're going to have to swim it." 

 

Her face drained of color, but she nodded anyway.

 

"We can rest here until you're ready, if you need." He offered, putting away his sonic. The space around them darkened without the little green light. 

 

"No, let's go." She shook her head, "I don't want to risk them finding us." 

 

"Alright." He held her tightly to him as he began to ease them to into the water. River sucked in a breath in response to the chill of the water. 

 

In a moment they were treading to keep their heads above the water. The current was already pushing them along, into the darkness of wherever it lead. Water rushed around their heads, sloshing them roughly. The Doctor was still hanging on tightly to River's hand, not wanting them to be pushed apart by the currents. It was so dark he was afraid he might lose her if he let go. 

 

Every so often, their heads slipped under or got drenched with a wave and water would fill their mouths. River would come back up, coughing and sputtering while the Doctor tried to call out to her to make sure she was alright. 

 

The rushing of the water was too loud for them to hear each other very well; all they had to know they were still both okay was her hand in his, thought that was getting hard to go by due to the numbing effect of the freezing river. 

 

They continued to be rushed down the river. A particularly rough patched caused River's hand to slip from her husband's grasp, her head going under again. 

 

"River!" He cried out for her, grasping around for her hand. His hearts were pounding painfully against his bones, both from trying to keep warm and from not knowing where River was. He took a deep breath and went under, sweeping his arms out in a wide girth with the hopes of finding her. 

 

River was only a few paces ahead of him, within his reach. His hand ran into her and he quickly latched on and started dragging her up. As soon as her head broke the surface she was coughing, trying to get all the water out of her lungs. 

 

He held her close, treading water for the both of them so she could focus on breathing. She coughed until her lungs were finally clear, spitting up water and clutching onto him. 

 

"That's it. Just keep breathing." He was trying to get his own hearts under control. She nodded, taking in air, pressing her nose to his cheek. "You scared me." He kissed her temple. 

 

"Sorry." She whispered, still panting a bit, "My mind… it just went blank for a moment." 

 

"Not your fault." He murmured, shivering. He kept a better hold on her as they swam with the current for what felt like hours, being pushed along with the freezing water. 

 

Eventually, there came a light from the direction they were being pushed in. It wasn't bright, but certainly more than the blackness of the tunnel they were in.

 

The river opened up even more, spilling out into a shrubland environment with tall, sandy hills. It was night, but the moon felt as bright as sunlight after the darkness. 

 

The Doctor started to push them towards the bank. River helped him swim there, clutching onto the land once it was in reach. They hauled themselves onto the straw-like, grass covered ground, lying there panting and shivering.

 

There was a cold breeze, which only made them colder. River huddled close to her husband in hope of pooling the little body heat she had with him. He wrapped his arms around her, both of them trembling. 

 

"I'm sorry." She whispered, curling into his warmth. 

 

"For what?" He asked quietly.

 

"I-" She stopped, rolling away from him and throwing up into the river. He rubbed her back in a soothing manner. She fell back onto the grass once she was done, relaxing. 

 

"Better?" 

 

"A bit." She breathed.

"Better out than in." He murmured. 

 

She nodded, closing her eyes, "Where are we?" 

 

"Few kilometers walk from where we're staying. Definitely a ways out of the capital." 

 

"We have somewhere to stay?" She breathed. 

 

"More or less. It's shelter at the least." 

 

She nodded, rather relieved to hear that they wouldn't be sleeping in the cold.

 

"Can you walk?" He asked. 

 

"I th-think so." She nodded, trying to get up, though her legs gave out from under her. 

 

"I can carry you." He murmured. 

 

She shook her head, "It's not fair." 

 

"I'm not particularly concerned about fairness right now." He huffed. She attempted to stand again. "River..." He put his arms out to held steady her. "Just let me carry you." 

 

She finally gave in, letting him lift her up. He held her close to his center, starting up the tall hill. 

 

She ended up falling asleep in his arms, her body too drained to stay awake and alert any longer. The walked was a twice as long as he'd said it'd be, which made him glad that she was able to rest for it. 

 

Eventually, he came upon the small, wooden barn he'd been looking for. He brought her inside. The place smelled dusty and as old as the planet (or at the very least as old as the Doctor). It was full of hay bales, things hidden under tarps, an old tire, and a bed-- the latter of which was in a low elevated section of the flimsy structure. 

 

He placed River on the small bed, removing her wet clothes, and taking one of the tarps to use as a blanket for her. 

 

"Doctor..." She groaned quietly, eyes opening slightly at the movements. 

 

"I'm here." He whispered. 

 

"The baby..." She whispered, reaching for his hand.

 

"It's alright. You're safe now." It wasn't entirely true, but she was disoriented enough for his words to be passable. 

 

"Stay." She breathed, "It's so cold." 

 

"Of course." He took off his wet clothes, then squeezed into the small bed with her. The mattress may have been dreadfully lumpy, but at least they'd warm up soon. 

 

She nuzzled against him, her whole body shaking from the cold. He wrapped his arms around her. "Sleep, love." She trembled against him, closing her eyes and trying to rest. He did the same. 

 

-x-

 

Morning brought golden light filtering through the poorly constructed walls. River's breathing was wheezy and forced, though she slept through it. 

 

The Doctor woke up before her, limbs tangled with hers. He wiggled an arm free to brush some curls from her face. Her forehead was rather hot and she leaned into his touch. He felt her skin, eyebrows furrowing. "Oh, River, you're burning up." He whispered. 

 

She stirred, eyes opening to look at him. 

 

"Morning." He whispered.

 

"Hi." She responded hoarsely. 

 

"You've got a fever." He informed her. 

 

"I'm so cold." She whispered. 

 

At that moment, the barn door opened. 

 

River sucked in a breath, shrinking into the bed, suddenly much more awake. The Doctor turned to look at who'd entered. 

 

It was an old woman, muttering about her annoyance about cloister bells. She folded up one of the tarps before spotting them . "You, up there! You're not supposed to be there! I've just put all that back. It's for the boys if any of them ever want to come..." 

 

"What do we do?" River whispered to her husband. 

 

"It's alright. I know her." He murmured, turning to meet eyes with the other Timelady. 

 

The older woman silenced herself. " _ You _ ." 

 

"I think I'm going to be sick." River breathed, her face paling. 

 

The Doctor scurried out of bed in nothing but his pants, grabbing a bucket that'd been lying on the ground and rushing it back to her. She threw up into the bucket immediately, her body shaking with the effort. He rubbed her back. 

 

"Do you have medicine?" The Doctor asked the old woman. "My wife is sick." 

 

The woman frowned slightly, "I will have to look. Do you know what's wrong?" 

 

"I think she's got a lung infection." 

 

"A lung infection..." The woman repeated thoughtfully, "I believe I have something." 

 

"Thank you." He smiled weakly. 

 

The woman turned to go retrieve the medicine. The Doctor started putting on his clothes, which were dry now from being out overnight. River was mumbling about a baby again. 

 

He wiped sweat from her forehead. "There's no baby, River. You're dreaming again." 

 

She whimpered, pressing her face into his palm, "O _ ur  _ baby." 

 

"Our children are safe. They're away from here." He smoothed his thumb over her cheek. 

 

She shook her head, "Baby." 

 

"It's alright. You're going to be alright." He held her face in his hands.

 

The woman returned with medicine and soup for River. He rose for a moment, going to take the things from the woman and bring them to River. He put his hand beneath his wife’s head, lifting it up enough so she could sip the soup. "Here, drink." 

 

River sipped the soup gratefully. 

 

"That's it." He smiled weakly. She pulled away once she was finished, a bit of soap running down her chin. He wiped it away, handing her the pills. "Take these." 

 

She normally would have fought him on taking the medicine, but she was too tired, taking them without protest. 

 

He kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep, now. I'm going to talk with Milva." 

 

"No, stay." She protested quietly, reaching out to hold his sleeve. He resigned and nodded, gesturing for the other woman to come over so he could stay by River's side. 

 

Milva drew closer to him, appearing a bit hesitant to be around River. 

 

"Do you know of the Matrix prophecy involving the Hybrid?" He asked. Milva nodded, eyes flicking between him and River. "Tell me what you know." 

 

"The Hybrid is believed to be a creature that is the halves of two great warrior races. They believe a Time Lord and a Dalek... though no one knows for sure. Some have begun to think that the Hybrid is not one person, but a pair, working together."

 

"A pair." He repeated to himself. That part was new to him. "Misleading name, if it is." 

 

"Well, I believe that the Hybrid is still one person, but perhaps the other half of the pair drives the Hybrid to break the rules of time..." The woman watched the Doctor closely. 

 

"Don't look at me like that." He muttered, staring at River. River had fallen back to sleep by now, her forehead and neck sparkling with sweat. 

 

"Doctor..." Milva murmured, "You must be careful." 

 

"In what sense?" 

 

"In the sense that not everyone will be willing to protect you. People will alert the High Council of your whereabouts if you do not take caution. They will use this woman against you when given the chance."  

 

"You'd best not tell anyone we're here, then." 

 

She sighed, "You cannot hide here forever. They'll be looking for you." 

 

"I know." He sighed. "River's in no position to be moved, though. And I don't have a good plan yet." He added. 

 

She nodded, "I'll bring some soup for you. Do you need anything else?" 

 

"Another blanket, if it's not too much." He said, remembering River's complaints about the cold. 

 

She nodded again, going to get the soup and blanket for him. The Doctor turned his attention back to River, finding a rag to wipe down her skin with. 

 

River opened her eyes again, looking up at him. 

 

"We're going to figure this out." He whispered. 

 

She nodded, "Sorry..." 

 

"Not your fault." He shook his head. 

 

"I didn't tell you..." She whispered. 

 

"Tell me what, River?"

 

"The baby..." She murmured.  

 

"It's alright." He smiled weakly, going along with what she was saying again. She shook her head, repeating herself. "Would it make you feel better if I did a scan with the sonic?" He offered. 

 

She squeezed his hand, not giving him an answer. He pulled his sonic after a moment doing a quick scan anyways. He looked at the results and frowned. "That can't be right..." 

 

"Doctor..." She breathed. 

 

He did the scan again, but the results didn't change. "I don't understand. It was only supposed to be a memory." 

 

"I'm sorry..." She whispered again. 

 

"You were trying to tell me." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I thought it was a memory." 

 

"I'm so sorry." 

 

"It's... not your fault." He whispered, taking her hand. It felt quite like his fault, in fact. He'd made her go in that bloody frigid river without knowing the damage it would do. 

 

She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head. "Should have told you sooner." 

 

"How long did you know?" 

 

"Right after you left." She closed her eyes, "I was going to tell you, then you changed and..." She stopped as it took quite an effort to speak. 

 

"I'm going to fix this. You're both going to make it out of this." 

 

"They know..." She whispered. 

 

" _ They _ ?" He asked before his brain figured it out. The High Council. They'd scanned her. 

 

"It's my fault." She whispered, "Should have fought harder." 

 

"The Timelords are a very powerful people. I'm afraid it takes at least a pair to have a fighting chance against them." 

 

She let out a pained groan, squeezing his hand. 

 

"What is it?" He fretted. 

 

"Cramps." She murmured through clenched teeth. 

 

"They look like a little more than cramps..." 

 

Her grip on his hand released and the pain on her face melted away, "I don't know what it is." She admitted. 

 

"Could just be a reaction from all that you've been through." He wanted to believe that the effects of the electroshock would've been healed with him giving her regeneration energy, but he knew there was no guarantee of that. 

 

She nodded, "W-What are we going to do?" 

 

Milva re-entered the barn with soup and extra blankets as promised. 

 

He stared at his wife. "I don't know."

 

Milva looked between the two, noting a change, "Is there something wrong?" 

 

"I think we've got to move sooner than anticipated." He told her. "We need somewhere with more technology than this. Where do you keep getting everything from?" 

 

"There is a small town, but there is not too much technology. The Capital is where the high-tech innovations are." 

 

"You had the medicine--" He paused. "Em, was that safe for pregnant women?" 

 

"I don't believe so." She frowned, looking at River. 

 

His stomach twisted. "We need to get to that town." 

 

"Doctor, it's not safe for either of you there. I cannot guarantee that the people there will help you." 

 

"I don't need their help. I need more medicine. Or a TARDIS if any of you happen to have one." 

 

“Like I said, most of the valuable technology is in the Capital, but I will take you to the town." 

 

"No, just tell me where it is. I need you to stay here with River." 

 

"It is a short walk north along the river. You cannot miss it." 

 

He nodded, looking at River. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She nodded, looking drained again, eyes half closed. "Take care of her." He told Milva, and then he was out the door at a running. 

  
The town was quite close, visible in the distance as soon as he stepped foot out of the barn. He was sprinting towards it, not wasting time. He'd be damned if he was going to let River loose this baby, already guilt ridden for this whole mess. 


	20. The Man Who Won the Time War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a bit hypocritical, you know." He murmured to River. "These people being on your case about growing a child inside you instead of using a loom."
> 
> She nodded, watching the children at the window who were now giggling and waving at the Doctor. "I don't think it's so much the concept as the fact that it's illegal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who does he think he is?
> 
> The man who won the Time War, sir.
> 
> I had much fun with world building. Enjoy.

**Ch 20**

 

The Doctor made it to the town in minutes, panting. The people of the town stared at the man, wondering who the stranger was. He addressed the first people he could find in their language. "Where is your pharmacy?"

 

The people watched him suspiciously, pointing him in the direction he needed to go. He rushed into the building, demanding to see who was in change. 

 

A very old man, hobbling with a cane for support emerged from the back room, "What is it you need?" 

 

"A woman came in here just earlier for medicine for a lung infection, did she not?" 

 

He nodded, "Yes, is there a problem?"

 

"I need you to make something that will neutralize  _ all  _ the effects of it." He was already digging in his pockets for payment. "Fast as you can, please. It's an emergency."

 

The man nodded, creating the counter medication as fast as possible. The Doctor couldn’t find any money that would be acceptable to use here, so reluctantly gave him the sonic instead. 

 

"And do you have anything to help stop a miscarriage?" He knew that question was a  long shot, as pregnancies had been outlawed long ago.

 

The man's frowned deepened, "Why would you have any need to stop a miscarriage?" 

 

"None of your business, just answer the question." He demanded. 

 

"No, now get out before I call the authorities." 

 

The Doctor huffed, grabbed the medicine, and left. 

 

Milva was waiting for him outside the barn when he returned. 

 

"How is she?" He asked. 

 

"Not well. She's been in a lot of pain." 

 

He rushed inside, hurrying to River's side. River was trying to hide how upset she was, giving him a weak, grimace-like smile. 

 

"Here." He gave her the medicine the pharmacist had given him. "This might help." 

 

She nodded, taking it right away. He held her hand tightly. 

 

"Can you lay down with me for a minute?" She asked quietly. 

 

He nodded, quietly getting on the bed with her. She curled against him, silent. After a few minutes, her shoulders started to shake. 

 

Milva and the Doctor said nothing of her tears, the latter holding her against his chest in as best a comfort as he could manage under circumstances. River occasionally mumbled apologies to the Doctor, keeping her cries as silent as she could. 

 

He brought his hands up to her face, stroking away her tears.

 

"I'm so sorry." She said for the hundredth time. 

 

"It's alright." He still didn't know if she was apologizing for keeping the secret or for the possible loss they were close to having. 

 

She sighed tiredly, "I should have told you." 

 

"I know now. " He murmured. She didn't say anything, wincing in pain. "Squeeze my hand." He whispered as she did as he said. 

 

There was suddenly a throng of voices outside the barn, becoming louder. Milva signaled for them to be quiet and hide, going to see what the commotion was. 

 

The Doctor shifted both himself and River off the bed, urging River to come hide behind a bale of hay with him. River hid with her husband, pressed against him so they took up as little space as possible. He threw the tarp-blanket over them. 

 

Outside, the townspeople had begun to gather. The old man from the pharmacy approached Milva. "We know you are hiding fugitives in there!" 

 

"I am doing no such thing." She frowned.

 

"We wish no trouble, Milva, but we cannot afford another 'visit' from the High Council." 

 

"I assure you I do not have fugitives. The High Council will not come." 

 

"Not even for a  _ pregnant  _ Gallifreyan?" He quired as others headed inside to investigate. "You are well aware that the punishment for that is termination and regeneration. Unlike you, many of us are on our lasts legs, so to speak." 

 

River could hear the argument outside. She had to focus her herself to translate the Gallifreyan in her head, but their words soon had her holding her breath and holding the Doctor tight. 

 

Three of the townspeople had entered the barn. The pair hiding could hear them looking under tarps and pushing over hay bales. River pressed her face against the Doctor as the footsteps drew closer.

 

"Check up here." One of them said, referring to the area with the bed. One of the people's heavy footsteps came clomping over, turning over the bed and coming closer to the haybale. 

 

The Doctor held his breath, holding River tightly. The tarp was ripped off and the hay bale overturned. "Hey, Maalok! I found them!” 

 

The others ran over, snatching River out of the Doctor's arms. 

 

"NO! Don't touch her!" He scrambled to his feet, trying to get her back. 

 

River struggled in their grip, two of them holding her back while the third tried to grab the Doctor. He burst away from the grip of the third one, tackling one of the Gallifreyans holding River. 

 

River was able to get out of the grasp of last one, taking the opportunity to knock him out with a kick to the jaw. 

 

At this point, more townspeople were coming into the barn at the commotion, helping to restrain River and the Doctor. Several more people made to grab the Doctor's limbs to restrain him, doing the same for River. 

 

In all, it took about a dozen people between the two of them to drag them outside and hold them there. 

 

River refused to stop struggling against the people that held her back, looking at the Doctor. Her husband’s eyes were wide, looking at her middle and the bloodstain just below. It wasn't too dark, but it'd been there for a while, going unnoticed when she'd been beneath the blankets. 

 

River noticed the blood, shouting and fighting harder, her distress fueling her desire to be free. 

 

"Stop making so much noise." Maalok, the old man, demanded. 

 

River ignored his words and spitting at his feet. 

 

He slapped her, growling. "Identify yourself, woman." Her cheek stung, turning bright red. She glared at him, falling silent and not answering. 

 

"Your..." Maalok gestured vaguely to the Doctor, "Consort here requested a medication to interrupt a miscarriage. Presumably, that was for you?" 

 

Her eyes flickered to the Doctor, "Let me go." She growled. 

 

He grabbed her face. "Answer!" 

 

She spat at him again, not planning on cooperating for anyone. He angrily wiped his face, then surged his cane up, jabbing her in the lower belly. 

 

She cried out, her knees giving out beneath her. 

 

"Don't touch her!" The Doctor demanded. 

 

Maalok raised his cane to strike her again, "Tell me who you are!" 

 

Milva jumped in front of River blocking the strike. "Don't you recognize them, you dense man?! This is the man who won the bloody Time War. For Rassilon's sake, show a little respect!" 

 

Maalok nearly dropped his cane, "Doctor?" 

 

The Doctor glared a hole in the old man's head, nodding slightly. Maalok signaled for River and the Doctor's release, though many had already let go. 

 

The Doctor scrambled over to his wife. "River? River are you alright?" 

 

She was crumbled on the ground, the people stepping back to give the two space. She shook her head, clutching her abdomen. He gathered her into his arms. "I'm so, so sorry. This is my fault." 

 

"No, it's not." She whispered, "It's mine. I should have told you." 

 

"None of that now." He hushed her, lifting her and turning to the townspeople. "You lot are going to help her." 

 

They nodded, "There is an empty cottage in town, I have the keys." One of the residents volunteered. 

 

"Healers first." He glared a bit more at Maalok, fighting the urge to kick his cane out from beneath him. Instead, he started heading back to the village. Several people ran ahead to get the Healers ready. 

 

River groaned quietly in the Doctor's arms. "Hang in there, love. Help is on the way." 

 

The Healers were waiting for them upon arrival, ushering the Doctor into one of the huts. Inside, there was a wooden examination table and many shelves full of herbs and liquids. He placed River down gently on the table. River clutched the Doctor's hand tightly, not wanting him to leave her. He squeezed back in assurance. 

 

There were four healers all dressed in tans and off-whites. Two of them were pulling things from the shelves while the other two were prodding River's abdomen with slightly glowing fingertips. 

 

"What are they doing?" River breathed, watching them suspiciously. 

 

"Telepathic mapping. They can use their regeneration energy in controlled amounts like sonar to create a map of your anatomy." He explained. 

 

She nodded, looking down at her abdomen, willing everything to be okay. The Healers spoke to each other in Old High Gallifreyan, mixing together a paste of some of the herbs. Some of it, they spend on River's skin above her womb, the other part they made her orally ingest. 

 

River asked the Doctor to translate for her as she was too exhausted to do it herself, doing and eating what they told her to. Her husband spoke to her softly, both translating, and adding in his own assurances that things would be alright. 

 

She was starting to calm down more, the Healers managing to stop the bleeding for the time being. When it was deemed she could be moved, the Doctor brought her to the cottage that'd been lent to them. 

 

The Healers ordered bedrest and gave the Doctor a cream to apply externally every few hours. They also promised to stop by for an examination at nightfall. 

 

The cottage that had been lent to them was small and drafty and everything was covered in a layer of dust. It only had one level and they found the bedroom easily. 

 

The Doctor shook out the linings of dust before helping River into the bed. 

Out the window next to the bed, the curious eyes of two small children peered into the room. 

 

The Doctor smiled weakly at them. "It's a bit hypocritical, you know." He murmured to River. "These people being on your case about growing a child inside you instead of using a loom." 

 

She nodded, watching the children at the window who were now giggling and waving at the Doctor. "I don't think it's so much the concept as the fact that it's illegal. You heard what that man said at the barn. If the High Council finds us here, they'll kill everyone for helping us." 

 

"You're not the only one breaking the rules, though. Those children, they weren't born of the Loom." 

 

She frowned slightly, "How can you tell?" 

 

"Looms can't make children." He smiled at her. "They can make fully formed adults, but not children." 

 

"Oh..." She murmured, putting a hand on her belly. 

 

The children in the window disappeared for a moment, running to knock on the door. 

 

"Shall I?" He asked her. She nodded. He rose, going to answer the door. 

 

The children were beaming, holding out flowers and food, "Are you the Doctor?" One of them asked. 

 

"Yes, I am. What's all this?" He knelt down to their level, taking the gifts. 

 

"Flowers from our garden and dinner from Mummy." The girl answered him, "She said that our family is very sorry for what happened." 

 

The little boy butted in, "Are you the one that fought the Daleks?" 

 

"That's very sweet of her, and yes. I did fight the Daleks on many occasions. What are your names, children?"  

 

"I'm called Rai and this is Theon. Who is that lady in there?" The girl answered for her brother, peering past the Doctor.

 

"She's my wife." He said affectionately. "Would you like to meet her?" 

 

They nodded, following him inside. He brought the kids and gifts to the bedroom. "River, I believe you have some fans who'd like to meet you." He put the gifts on the bedside table. 

 

"Hello there." She smiled softly as the children peered over the edge of the bed. 

 

"Hi!" Rai said excitedly.

 

At the same time, Theon said, "Mummy says you're from another planet!" 

 

River nodded, "I'm from a planet called Earth. Have you ever heard of it?" 

 

"A little," Rai said, though her brother shook his head. She looked a few years older than him and had probably heard it through school. 

 

"It's very far away from here." River murmured, looking up at her husband. 

 

The Doctor smiled encouragingly as the girl asked, "Why did you choose there instead of here?" 

 

"Well, because I'm not fully Gallifreyan. It isn't safe for me to live here on Gallifrey." She answered. 

 

"Why's that?" Thoen asked innocently. 

 

"Because some of the powerful people here don't like people who aren't fully Time Lord." 

 

"What species is the other part of you?" 

 

"I'm also part human." 

 

She spent while answering the children's questions and explaining when humans were. The small gathering was interrupted by another knock at the door. 

 

The Doctor went to answer this, letting River occupy the children. Maalok was standing at the door, holding a small parcel, a box, and the sonic screwdriver. 

 

"What is that?" The Doctor frowned. 

 

"A peace offering." He held it out with the sonic, which the Doctor was happy to take back. 

 

Suspiciously, he took the parcel and box too and began reading over it. The paper attached were instructions and inside the box were a few pill bottles, "It's for your wife." 

 

"For the baby." The Doctor whispered and relaxed slightly. "...Thank you." 

 

Maalok nodded, "This cottage, it'll be safe if the High Council comes. It is where we hide our womb-born children during each census." 

 

The Doctor nodded. "I know the last one was difficult for you... I'm sorry about your wife. She'd be proud of you for helping us now." 

  
The man said nothing, turning to leave. 


	21. Devil's Advocate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She shrugged, pushing around her food, "I wasn't terribly happy at first... It's not something that we ever planned for, but..."
> 
> "But?" He encouraged.
> 
> "But..." She hesitated again, "Then you came back, and you were different." He nodded to show he was listening. She wasn't looking at him, watching her food, "It felt like this baby… it was that last bit of Him that I had."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 21**

 

The Doctor went back inside with the medicine from Maalok, putting it on the bedroom table next to the things the children had brought. The little ones were currently glued to River's side, utterly engaged in the story she was telling about a dig on an old Qwerbian planet.  

 

The children stayed for another hour before realizing that they had to be home, running off reluctantly. 

 

The Doctor saw them out, sitting with River when he returned. "How are you feeling?" 

 

"I'm alright." She breathed, reaching for his hand, "We have to put the cream on now." 

 

He nodded, fetching the cream and the pills Maalok had given him. 

 

"What are those?" She asked, frowning slightly at the pills. 

 

"Maalok gave them to me, said they were a peace offering. They're to help with the baby." 

 

"I don't want them." She shook her head. 

 

"Why not?" He asked though he knew the answer. 

 

"I don't trust him." She whispered. 

 

"So you think these won't do what he says they'll do?" He clarified. 

 

"I don't know. I don't want to take the risk." She looked up at him. 

 

"It doesn't have to be a risk. I can figure out what's in them and see if it's safe." He offered. On the possibility that the pills could be beneficial, he wanted River and this baby to have the best chance they could have. 

 

She thought about it for a moment, nodding slowly. "Okay. But put the cream on now and we can work on the pills later." 

 

"Of course." He picked up the jar of the cream. "Lift your shirt." She pushed back the blankets and lifted her shirt. "You've got some bruising." He murmured as he gently spread the paste-like cream over her skin. 

 

"It's probably from Maalok." She muttered. 

 

"I don't mean to play devil's advocate, but he's grieving from a loss. I know it doesn't excuse him, he used to be a very kind man." 

 

She shot the Doctor a look, "He could have killed our child." 

 

He nodded silently, capping the jar. "Shall we see what the kids brought us?" 

 

She nodded, taking in a deep breath. He went to look at the food the children brought. "Looks like a roast. Hungry?" 

 

"Mmm, yes, very." She nodded again. 

 

"I'll heat this up." He murmured, taking the food to the kitchen. Soon, the house was smelling like seasoned meat, and the Doctor brought two plates back to the bedroom. 

 

"Mmm, that smells amazing." She smiled, reaching out to take the plate from him. 

 

He handed it to her with a noise of agreement, sitting on the bed with her. She ate slowly, watching him. He looked up at her, "Something on your mind?" 

 

"Are you upset?" She asked. 

 

"About what?" He asked back. 

 

"About the baby." 

 

"No," He shook his head, "I'm not upset. Maybe a little that you didn’t tell me sooner, but  if anything, it's something to be happy about through all," He gestured to their general surroundings, "this."

 

She nodded, looking down at her food. 

 

"...How do you feel about it?" 

 

She shrugged, pushing around her food, "I wasn't terribly happy at first... It's not something that we ever planned for, but..." 

 

"But?" He encouraged. 

 

"But..." She hesitated again, "Then you came back, and you were different." He nodded to show he was listening. She wasn't looking at him, watching her food, "It felt like this baby… it was that last bit of Him that I had." 

 

He tensed. "I see." 

 

She saw him tense out of the corner of her eyes, "I'm sorry." She whispered, "I shouldn't have said that." 

 

"No, no I'm... glad you're being honest with me. I just..." He tried to think of the wording. "I wish I hadn't died the way I did. I wish I hadn't been alone, and I wish I hadn't made you and the kids feel alone. I wish it didn't make you feel like Bowtie and I are different people--I mean, we are sort of, but just on the outside. It hurts to see any of you hurt by my own mistakes, but I have to own up to them even so. " 

 

She bit her lip, "But you're not the same person. You're not just different on the outside. I know you still love us in the same way, and most things are still the same, but your personality, the little things. They're there and they're different and it's not fair to you to not acknowledge that." 

 

"I suppose it's not." He murmured, taking her hand. He put it to his cheek, holding it there, and looked at her with hearts patent. "Tell me about the little things, River." 

 

She hesitated, not knowing if she really wanted to do this, especially now. At her silence, he lowered her hand and changed the subject. "What did you think of the kids?" 

 

"They were lovely." She breathed. 

 

"They reminded me of Terra and Arthur." He said. 

 

She shifted, "Can we not talk about them, please?" He nodded, quieting himself. "It's just safer if we don't." She murmured, fiddling with her wedding ring. 

 

"I know. You're right. I just miss them." He sighed. 

 

"So do I." She tried not to let her mind wander to the thought of not ever getting to see them again. 

 

They were quiet for a moment as they continued eating until the Doctor filled the air with telling her what he knew about this town. He talked about how Milva had been a mother figure when he was eight and first entering the Academy. He told her about the colleagues and classmates he knew who lived in this town and that the guards who'd captured them yesterday had fought by his side in the Time War. She listened intently, not saying much. 

 

"Do you want any more?" He asked when her plate was empty. 

 

She shook her head, “I'm alright." 

 

"I'll go wash up." He murmured, taking their plates. 

 

Outside, the sky had gotten dark. Houses around them had windows lit up with candles or electricity (or both) and families inside spending time together. An orange, bright moon was rising and a few stars were visible. River slowly got up out of the bed, going to stand by the window, staring out at the scene. 

 

Rai and Theon were just a few houses down, visible to River. They were jumping around an older woman, their mother probably, and pointing at the door, wanting to play outside. River smiled weakly, thinking of Terra and Arthur with her parents in New York. She could picture them running around Rory's legs as he made dinner, begging him to come play with them instead. 

 

The Doctor came up behind her after some time, resting his chin on her shoulder. She leaned back against him, tilting her head so it touched his. He wrapped his arms around her. "Beautiful moon." 

 

"It's certainly is." She kissed his temple, "Everything is beautiful here." 

 

He smiled weakly. "Wait until all the stars come out. There's not a dark point in the sky." 

 

Her eyes drifted along the streets, the back up to the sky. It wasn't yet dark enough for the stars to be as abundant as the Doctor said--the town would have to have their lights off for that. She gave him another soft peck on the cheek. 

 

They stood there until there was a knock at the door, the Healers coming to check on the baby. The Doctor told River to lie back down as he answered the door and invited the Healers into the cottage. 

 

River lay back down on the bed, the Healers coming into the bedroom carrying bags filled with supplies. 

 

"Is all that really necessary?" The Doctor asked. 

 

"It's just in case, we didn't want to waste time running back and forth to retrieve supplies." One of them answered. 

 

He nodded, taking his place by River's head. River was a bit nervous as the four healers came forward to begin their examination, not fully trusting anyone besides the Doctor with the safety of her child. He took her hand when he saw her expression and gave it an assuring squeeze. She squeezed back, looking up at him. He offered a small smile as the Healers exposed her middle and started their probing. 

 

She squeezed his hand again, eyes shifting to watch the healers work. Their fingertips were glowing again. One prodded around her lower belly while another's hands were wandering more up towards her ribs and murmuring to the others. 

 

She frowned trying to make out what they were saying. The Doctor was about to translate when one of them did it for him. "The medicine seems to be working..." 

 

River let out a sigh of relief, "Good, that's wonderful." 

 

The Doctor's hand was still tight around hers, sensing a 'but' coming. 

 

"But," Another Healer added, "It is not working quite how we expected." 

 

Her face paled, the alarm immediately spreading across her features, "What do you mean?" 

 

The Healer thought about the English phrasing before speaking, "The medications were to draw out compounds from your body specific to regeneration energy as to encourage such regenerative pathways in the child. Unexpectedly, the needed compounds being withdrawn specifically from your nervous system." 

 

She looked up at the Doctor, not knowing if she still fully understood what that meant. 

 

"It's taking what I gave to heal you yesterday and slowly undoing it." He whispered. 

 

Her grip on his hand tightened, "So...it's going to help the baby, but it might kill me. That's what you're saying." 

 

"There is no way of knowing if it will do the extreme of killing, but perhaps highly negative effects." 

 

"But if it's undoing what you fixed..." She sighed, "Is there anything we can do?" 

 

"Perhaps." The Healers looked through the supplies they'd brought, pulling out a jar with dark liquid. 

 

"What is that?" She asked, wanting them to tell her everything that they were doing. 

 

"Extract from saniut agate. It will reverse the effects of the cream." 

 

"Do you have another plan in mind?" She pressed, "Because I don't want the cream’s effects removed unless you have another way to help the baby." 

 

"The pills from Maalok?" The Doctor suggested. "We can analyze them now and see." 

 

She nodded, "I want to try anything and everything." 

 

He stood and handed one of the bottles of pills over to the Healers for them to examine. 

 

One of the Healers examined each different pill, using the same probing method to break down the contents for the Doctor. After they told him what was in it, he nodded to River. "They're safe." 

 

"Do you know what they're going to do?" She asked, holding her hand out to take them. 

 

"A similar function to the cream, though it already has the compounds in the pills and doesn't need to take them from your systems." 

 

"Okay, I'll take them." 

 

He handed her two and went to get a glass of water for her. The Healers began reversing the effects of the cream while he went to get the water. He returned quickly, sitting by River again. "Here." 

 

She took the pills, swallowing them with the water. She set the glass aside, taking his hand again. He brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles. She gave him a weak smile, trying to pretend that everything was alright. 

 

After a while, the Healers left, telling the pair to find them if anything went wrong. Of course, they agreed. 

 

River stayed on the bed, very tense and quiet. 

 

"Are you alright?" The Doctor asked after seeing the Healers out. 

 

She nodded, "I'm just worried about the baby." She answered honestly. 

 

"Me too." He murmured, sitting back down. 

 

She studied his face, taking it in, "You're more serious than he was." 

 

He hummed to show his acknowledgment of her words. "Arth-- some people didn't like that." He corrected, remembering that they had to be careful about their words. 

 

She nodded, "He was almost like a child. So much energy...always willing to play with children." She closed her eyes.  

 

"And now?" 

 

"And now..." She was getting a bit upset, though she hid it, "You don't play with the kids anymore, not like you used to. You don't goof around with them, you don't get up and join in on their games like before." 

 

"And you're worried I won't be dad-like enough for this baby." He added. 

 

"Well...I don't know." She whispered, "It's just...I know he-  _ you _ loved it so much before, it came so naturally. And now I don't know..." 

 

"I won't deny that I need practice, granted I've only been home about a week before we came here." He murmured. "But I quite think I still love being a dad." 

 

"I know." She sighed, squeezing her eyes shut. 

 

"We can take that as it comes, yeah?" He wouldn't be able to work on that until they got back to the kids, but they had to survive this first. 

 

"Of course." She gave him a weak smile and then winced. 

 

He frowned. "What is it?" 

 

"I don't know." She breathed, putting a hand to her side. 

 

"You're in pain... I should get the Healers back." 

 

She was shaking her head. “It’s fine….”

  
  


“River-” he began.

 

"I don't want you to leave me here alone." She looked a bit panicked at the thought of staying in the cottage by herself. 

 

"I'll only be a second." He assured. 

 

She opened her mouth to protest, then closed it, "Okay...." 

 

He kissed her temple then left, hurrying to find the Healers. 

 

Most of the lights in the windows of the town were going out now, many families headed off to bed. The Doctor ran to the Healers' house, bursting in without knocking. One of the Healers who was sitting in the main room jumped, "Doctor? Is there something wrong?" 

 

"River's in pain. I don't know what's wrong." He said quickly. 

 

The Healer nodded, gathering the others immediately. They grabbed their bags, following the Doctor quickly back to the cottage. 

 

He brought them back to the bedroom. River was clutching onto the bed, a faint glow emitting from her abdomen.

 

"You've got to do something." He ran over to his wife. She took his hand immediately, pulling him close to her.  

 

The Healers were quick to unpack things, surrounding River and getting to work. She tried to keep calm, knowing that stress wasn't going to do anything but add to the problem. 

 

He was sitting in a way that he was partially blocking her view of the Healers, providing a distraction. He stroked her hair back. "It's going to be alright, Riv." 

 

She nodded, squeezing his hand, "You haven't called me that in a while." She murmured, trying to go along with the distraction, "I was beginning to think this regeneration wasn't going to use that nickname." 

 

He smiled weakly. "I could never be rid of it if I tried." She tried to smile back but only winced. "Try to breathe, darling." He urged. 

 

She nodded, breathing in and out, eyes drifting past him to the healers. 

 

"Don't pay mind to them, Riv. Just look at me, hmm?" She nodded, dragging her eyes away from the Healers, though it was hard to ignore them as they prodded her and repositioned her legs so they could examine her further. 

 

He squeezed her hands. "Is there anything I can say to you now that might help?" 

 

"I just need you to distract me." She whispered, needing something other than the Healer's prodding hands to focus on. 

 

He hesitated. "Look there, at the window." She looked out at the window.  The sky and town were dark enough to let the sky take the stage with thousands of bright stars. Even from the window, the light was bright and clear and breathtaking. "I used to run under that sky. When Milva thought I was sleeping in my bed, I'd sneak out and I'd just run." 

 

"It's amazing." She whispered, "I don't think I've ever seen anything like it." 

 

"Not even on Calderon Beta?" 

 

"Well, yes I suppose that's similar, but this...it's better than Calderon Beta." She squeezed his hands again, trying to ignore the pain. 

 

"In what way?" He hummed curiously. 

 

"On Calderon Beta, it's almost too bright, but here the darkness and the light from the stars seems to balance out perfectly. It's the perfect mix." She murmured. 

 

"A balancing act." He echoed. She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut, her grip on his hand tightening. He told her to breathe again, continuing to talk to her as soothingly as he could. 

 

"What are they doing?" She asked, trying to see past him again. 

 

"I don't know." He admitted. "They're trying to help." 

 

She shut her eyes again, holding his hands tightly. He pressed his forehead to hers. She pressed her nose against his her lips ghosting over his. He finished the action, kissing her softly, where his other self might have been a bit embarrassed to do so in front of guests. She was grateful for the kiss, feeling a bit better. She nuzzled her nose against his. 

 

For a while they were quiet, just holding each other and listening to the murmurings in an ancient language of the Healers. She relaxed in his arms, feeling safer and more comfortable with him so close to her. 

 

It must have been an hour or two before the Healers took their hands off River. River was in less pain now, looking up at the Healers, hoping for good news. 

 

"All is under control for now." Said one of them. "Venic Mazyl will stay with you tonight should you find any more trouble." 

 

"Thank you." River murmured. 

 

They saw themselves out, wishing the pair luck. Venic went to put the kettle on. 

 

"Can you lay with me?" River murmured to her husband. He nodded, slipping his shoes off. She was shivering, moving close to him once he was in the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. 

 

"I'm sorry." She breathed. 

 

"It's not your fault." He murmured. 

 

"It feels like it is."

 

"Well, it's alright now." 

 

She tucked her head beneath his chin, trailing her fingers along his chest. He closed his eyes, capturing her hand and pressing it against his hearts. She let her hand rest there, feeling his hearts beating. 

 

"Do you want to talk to the baby?" She asked softly after a few minutes, "You said you needed some practice being a father..." 

 

He smiled. "I'd love to." 

 

She turned so she was laying on her back again, rolling her shirt back for him. He lowered his head to her middle, careful not to put any weight on her skin. She ran her hands through his hair. He started murmuring to her belly. 

 

They both knew that the baby wasn't nearly developed enough to hear yet, but there was something comforting about the action. It felt to him like making a wish on a penny that all three of them may make it off this planet alive. 

 

River was relaxing more and more the more he talked to her, her muscles less tense and her expression calmer. 

 

He eventually started to hum a lullaby, one about the stars he'd sung to all of their other children. She smiled weakly at him, reaching to take his hand. He willingly waved his fingers with hers, his thumb brushing over her wedding ring. 

 

She squeezed his hand, "I love that song." 

 

He smiled. "As do I." 

 

She brought his hand to her lips, kissing the back of it softly. He moved back up the bed, curling up to her. "We ought to try and sleep." 

 

She nodded, fixing her shirt, "You need rest." 

 

"So do you." He murmured. 

 

She nuzzled his cheek, closing her eyes. He pulled the blanket over them, wrapped his arms around her, and closed his eyes as well. She fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the events of the day. 

  
When Venic returned with cups of tea for them to find hem asleep, she left them on the bedside table, seeing herself to another bedroom to get her own rest. 


	22. The Music Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's wrong?" The Doctor asked.
> 
> "I'm worried." She a bit upset about the accelerated growth possibility, mind stuck in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The music room is the heart of the house.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Ch 22**

 

The first bits of sunrise spilled right into their window come morning. The smell of food came from the kitchen, filling the room the Songs slept in. River was still fast asleep, buried beneath the sheets and nestled in the Doctor's embrace. 

 

He blinked awake when the sun shone in his eyes. He inhaled the dust scented air, looking at his wife, his expression relaxing. He rested a hand lightly on her middle, absently stroking his thumb over her skin. There seemed to be a noticeable swell that hadn't been there before, a result from the medication she had taken, no doubt. 

 

She mumbled something, shifting closer to him in her sleep. He listened closer to what she was saying. "Doctor…  _ please _ ..." She murmured. He frowned slightly, not quite able to tell if her words were full of lust or fear. 

 

She tilted her head slightly, her breathing growing heavier, "Doctor..." His eyebrows rose as he realized it was lust he was hearing, keeping still as to not interrupt her pleasant dream. The Doctor was very much awake now, unable to help his own body's reactions as listened to the sounds she was making. 

 

Her body was a bit flushed, obviously the dream was rather vivid for her. Her back arched slightly, moans escaping her mouth. He closed his eyes, the sounds sending heat rippling through him. 

 

Her eyes suddenly blinked open. 

 

"Morning." He whispered.

 

"Morning." She said a little breathlessly. 

 

"You sounded like you had a good dream." 

 

Her face flushed slightly, though a smile crept on her face, "It was alright." 

 

He raised an eyebrow. "You sounded a bit more than alright." 

 

"How so?" She mirrored his expression, amusement leaking into her voice. 

 

"I  _ know  _ what it sounds like when you're... enjoying yourself. And you most certainly were making those sounds." He was having trouble hiding his grin. 

 

"And you didn't bother to wake me up? You just sat and listened?"

 

"I've been taught that interrupting is rude." He tapped her nose. 

 

"Well, it just so happens I didn't get to finish anyway. I woke up before we got to the best part." She pouted. 

 

"Is that so?" She nodded. "There is an old saying about unfinished dreams, you know." 

 

"What would that be?" 

 

"They have a much higher change to coming true." 

 

She hummed, "Well, Mister Song..." she murmured, pulling him closer so their lips almost touched, "Are you going to make my dreams come true?" 

 

His cheeks became a bit pinker. "If you wish them so." 

 

"I promise it'll be much more fun than just listening." She teased. 

 

"I like that promise."

 

***

 

Venic lucky didn't walk in on them, allowing them to bring River's dream to vivid life, though they kept quiet. 

 

River collapsed onto her husband's chest, breathing heavily. He smiled, arms around her.  "Better than a dream?" 

 

She nodded, "Much better." 

 

"How are you feeling?" He stroked his hand along her back. 

 

"Better than yesterday." She murmured, shifting so she could put a hand on her belly. 

 

"That's good." He looked down where her hand was. "You're a bit bigger today." 

 

"Yes, I noticed." She smiled weakly, "You're going to be able to see it through the clothes I have." She murmured. 

 

"Only if you're looking for it." He hummed, though everyone would be looking if she was off bedrest and could be out and about. 

 

She nodded, "Of course, but still, it means our baby is stronger." 

 

He smiled. "Yes, it does." 

 

There was a soft knock on the door. River quickly rolled off her husband, pulling the blankets up to cover herself. Venic entered, carrying a tray with breakfast. 

 

River smiled, "That smells wonderful." She commented. 

 

The other woman nodded politely and gave them their plates. River took the plate from her, glancing at the discarded clothes on the floor. They had slept in what they’d come in yesterday, which at this point were soiled, stained, and tattered garments. Venic paid no mind to the clothes. Whether she was doing so out of politeness or that she truly didn't notice was unclear. She left them to their food, exiting the room again. 

 

River dug into the food, finding herself rather hungry. The Doctor was a bit less ravenous but fed gratefully all the same. 

 

They got dressed in the new clothes that had been given, though got right back into bed to continue cuddling.

 

"Venic's going to want to want to examine you again." He said. 

 

She nodded, kissing his neck, "It can wait a few minutes." 

 

He made a throaty noise in response. "Yes, is suppose it can." 

 

"Don't get too excited, Mister Song." She teased, "I'm not offering up another round, I just want to snog you." 

 

He pretended to pout. "Well, I suppose I can be happy with just snogging." 

 

"I can stop if you're not enjoying it." She teased. 

 

"No, no, continue." He amended. She moved so she could kiss him a bit deeper, cupping his face. He gladly returned the gesture, submitting to her kiss. 

 

Soon another knock came from the door. It was Venic again. "Professor Song, are you ready for an examination?" 

 

River quickly moved off the Doctor, "Yes, I'm ready." 

 

Venic entered, moving to start the exam. River took the Doctor's hand, as she had been doing each time she was examined. He gave hers a reassuring squeeze. She watched Venic's hands as she gently probed her belly. The healer's face gave away no expression of hope nor worry, remaining neutral. 

 

"Is everything alright?" River asked. 

 

She gave a small smile. "You seem to be responding to the medication splendidly. Have you taken your pills this morning?" 

 

"Not yet." She shook her head, "Should I expect the baby to grow anymore?" 

 

"It is a possibility." Venic murmured. "But there are no consequences to an accelerated development." 

 

River nodded, glancing up at the Doctor a bit worriedly anyway.  "This isn't the same thing Kovarian used." He explained. "It's similar, but much more fine tuned to your biology than what she used." 

 

"If safety is your concern, I would recommend you stay in bed for today again," said Venic. 

 

"Of course." River nodded again, more than willing to do what was needed to protect her baby. 

 

"I will remain as your guest if it makes you more comfortable to have me near." She offered. 

 

"It would make me feel much better." River smiled weakly, "Thank you." Venic nodded and went to get River some water to take her pill with. River squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a sigh. 

 

"What's wrong?" The Doctor asked. 

 

"I'm worried." She a bit upset about the accelerated growth possibility, mind stuck in the past. 

 

"Is there anything I can do?" 

 

"I don't know." She pinched the bridge of her nose, "I don't want..." She sighed trying to keep calm, "I don't want to lose this baby like we lost William." 

 

"Neither do I." He whispered though he couldn't discount that it was a very real possibility. 

 

She took the medication once Venic returned. The woman left them alone after that. 

 

Rai and Theon returned to the window shortly after, smiling and waving. 

 

"Looks like our wee visitors are back." He smiled weakly. 

 

River looked over at the window, smiling softly, "I think they like you." 

 

"Whatever gave you that idea?" He teased. The two children ran to knock on the door. "Are you up for a bit of company?" He asked. 

 

She hesitated, “I suppose so." "It's alright if you'd rather some space." 

 

"I think it would be nice if I could nap for a bit." She murmured. 

 

"I'll keep them occupied." He kissed her forehead. 

 

She smiled weakly, leaning in to give him a real kiss. "I love you." 

 

"I love you, too," he hummed, returning the kiss and going to answer the door. 

 

The children had flowers again, bouncing eagerly. 

 

"Hello again." The Doctor smiled warmly. "You've brought more flowers, how kind." 

 

"They're for the pretty lady." Rai smiled. 

 

He smiled back. "I'm sure she'll appreciate them, but she's sleeping at the moment." 

 

"Awww, but Theon and I wanted to hear more of her stories." She pouted. 

 

"I know some of her stories." He consoled. "I can tell them to you." 

 

"Okay." They nodded. 

 

"Shall we find a nice place to sit? Where do you two like to go?" 

 

"Can we sit at the table here?" They asked. 

 

He nodded. "Of course." 

 

They ran around his legs into the kitchen, sitting at the table. 

 

"Now, what would you like to hear about?" 

 

"We want to hear about the most exciting adventure ever!" Theon cheered. 

 

"The most exciting." The Doctor echoed. "I'm not sure there's just one. Which one did River tell you about yesterday?" 

 

"She told us about when you had to fight against the weeping angels on the By-...The Byzeem..."

"Byzantium." He said. "That's was a good one. How about I tell you about the time we saved the universe from the Sanakuma's Spore Ships?" 

 

They nodded enthusiastically, settling to listen to the story. Venic came to sit with them as he began. The children were entranced by the Doctor's stories, listening with wide eyes. 

 

By the time he was finished with that one, Venic had made the kids warm, sweet drinks. He smiled as they asked for another story, achingly thinking of his own children and what stories the Ponds might be telling them now. 

 

He started another one about when River had been mistaken for the goddess of an underwater city. He hadn't been there, but River had told him the story. The children were amazed by the sound of an underwater city, asking all sorts of questions to try and figure out how it worked, much like the Song children would normally do. 

 

He explained to them about the forcefield and the scuba-farming and their odd transportation system that partially used the water creatures. He went on and talked about the huge religious following that had pounced on the chance to pamper River. By the end of the story, Theon had decided he also wanted to be mistaken for a god one day. 

 

"Can we have lunch?" Rai asked. 

 

"Of course, but I'm not sure what food we have." 

 

The children ran to the cabinets to see what was inside, finding them empty. 

 

"I don't suppose you know where the market is." He asked the children. 

 

"I can take them." Venic offered, "I suspect your wife will only be anxious if she wakes and finds you gone." 

 

"Is that alright with you?" He asked the kids. 

 

They nodded, "We can bring you back surprise snacks!" 

 

"That'd be wonderful." He smiled. 

 

Rai and Theon took Venic's hands once she had gathered her small bag and dragged her out to the market. The Doctor went to check on River.

River was in a restless sleep, tossing and turning, the dream she was having obviously much less pleasant than the one she had had earlier. He moved to wake her up, touching her shoulder. "River?"  

 

She jumped, eyes snapping open. 

 

"It's alright, River. You're okay." 

 

She was shaking, her breaths ragged, "...Sorry..." She breathed, after a moment. 

 

"It's alright, darling. It's okay." He whispered, cupping her face. She turned her face into his hand, pressing her nose to his palm. "You're safe." He repeated. 

 

"I know..." She murmured. Both of them knew it wasn't entirely true, but for the moment it had to pass as a small comfort. 

 

"Are you alright?" 

 

She nodded, "I think so..."

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

 

"...We were back in the capital." She began. He nodded to show he was listening  "The High Council had the kids." She squeezed her eyes shut. "And they made us watch as they..." She stopped. He squeezed her hand, knowing what she meant without her having to say it. "It was awful." She breathed. 

 

"I can only image. Is there anything I can do?"  

 

She shook her head, holding his hand a bit tighter. He moved to wrap his arms around her, hoping to provide some comfort at the least. "It wasn't real. We can keep it that way." 

 

She nodded, leaning into his embrace, "We did the right thing, right? We made the right choice?" 

 

"We made the choice we had to." He whispered. "Rightness had nothing to do with it. But I promise you they won't be harmed and they certainly won't be orphaned." 

 

She nodded again, taking a deep breath, "And they're in good hands." She repeated his earlier words. 

 

He made a noise of agreement. "Are you going to try to sleep some more?" 

 

"I don't think I can sleep now." She whispered.

 

"You're welcome to join the children and me for lunch. They've gone to the market." 

 

"Okay, that would be nice." She murmured, snuggling closer to him. 

 

"They'll be back soon. I can't guarantee you'll like what they get. I wouldn't be surprised if it was quite sugary." He was rambling a bit, trying to take her mind off her dream. 

 

"It sounds like Ter-" She stopped, remembering that they had agreed not to talk about their children if they didn't have to. "It's alright, I'm craving sweets anyway." 

 

"Gallifreyan sweets are much different from what you might've had anywhere else, you know." 

 

She hummed, "Well then perhaps you'll have to take me out for ice cream once we're out of here." She tried to be optimistic. 

 

"Ice cream makes everything better. That's what Arth-- that's what I've heard." 

 

"I'm craving chocolate chip." She smiled weakly. 

 

"I promise we'll get some when we get home." He smiled weakly. She sniffed, holding onto him tightly. 

 

He tried to think of anything else that might help. "River... you said you saw this face on Dundenbar...?" 

 

"Yes..." She murmured. 

 

"Did you see anyone else?" 

 

"I....I don't remember...It's hard to remember what happened." 

 

"That's alright." He murmured. "I only meant to say that if you saw me and I haven't done that yet..." It meant that he had a future past all this. It meant he would make it out and he could make sure the kids were safe which was what he was trying to assure River of. As for River's own survival, there was no safety net of a fixed point to assure anything. 

 

"I don't remember seeing the kids....I might have seen Terra, but I don't remember." She was a bit panicked now. 

 

"On my lives, River, I'm going to make sure they're okay." 

 

"...Okay." She breathed, trying to relax again. He smiled weakly in assurance as he spotted the others returning from the market. 

 

"Stay with me." She breathed. 

 

"Of course. We can bring lunch in here if you'd like." 

 

She nodded, "I'd like that." 

 

The front door opened. The children and Venic could be heard going to the kitchen. "Hey, mister!" Theon called. "Where'd you go?" 

 

River tensed, gripping his hand tighter. "I'm not leaving." He reminded gently before calling back to the boy. "I'm in here." 

 

She nodded, sitting up and putting a protective hand on her belly as the children ran in. The Doctor offered them a smile. "Do you mind terribly if we eat our lunch in here?" 

 

The kids shook their heads, clambering onto the bed. 


	23. Mindless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She sat for a minute, not speaking. "Perhaps...we could fake my death."
> 
> "Fake your death?" He echoed curiously.
> 
> "If they think I'm gone, then maybe we can get them off of our trail." She explained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> World building is so fun. Enjoy and don't forget to comment!

**Ch 23**

 

Venic brought the bag of food with her as she settled in the room with the others. 

 

"What did you get?" The Doctor asked them. 

 

"Sweets from the Purple Shop and sandwiches!" Theon chipped. 

 

"That sounds lovely." He hummed.

 

Theon looked up at River. "Why were you sleeping all morning?" 

 

"Well...I..." She hesitated, looking at the Doctor, not knowing if she should answer the question honestly. He shrugged back at her, letting her make the decision as he helped distribute the food. "I'm going to have a baby and when you're going to have a baby you need lots of rest." She explained a bit hesitantly. 

 

"Weavers don't need rest." Rai said, a bit confused "They just... go and make people." 

 

"Well, I'm not a Weaver." River smiled softly. 

 

"Are you making it with your belly?" Thoen asked.

 

He earned an elbow from his sister. "You can't just ask people that, Theon!" 

 

"It's alright, I don't mind. Yes, I am." 

 

He looked excited. "Really? How does that work?" 

 

"I think that's something you should ask your mummy and daddy when you're a bit older." 

 

"Does it take a long time?" Rai asked. "Theon's the only baby I've seen." 

 

"It takes about eight months." River murmured. 

 

Theon pouted. "So we don't get to see it? I wanna see it." 

 

"Yes, I'm afraid you probably won't get to see it. It's still very small right now." 

 

"And it grows?" He looked at her middle. She nodded, moving the blankets a bit so he could see. "Why don't the city people like it when people growing babies in their bellies?" 

 

The Doctor answered since River didn’t actually know the reason. "It's not a very nice answer, Theon. Rassilon's reasons... were rather selfish." He gently told the boy. 

 

“But how come.” Theon persisted. 

 

“He wanted control over people. And when someone grows a baby, it’s very common to use up regeneration energy to make sure the baby is extra healthy and strong. Rassilon thinks it’s a waste. 

 

"Oh..." The boy frowned, trying to process the answer. 

 

Rai quickly changed the subject. "I wanna eat the sweets now." 

 

Theon’s attention was quickly drawn back to the candy, bouncing eagerly. Rai got up and got the sweets out, giving them out to everyone. "These are my favorites!" She informed as she passed them out. 

 

"It's been ages since I've had a Somblam." The Doctor murmured, looking at River. "Fair warning: they puff up in your mouth." 

 

She stuck the candy in her mouth, humming at the new sensation. Theon giggled as he ate his candy. 

 

The children asked for more stories as they ate, wanting to learn more about the Doctor and River. The adults knew their stories had to pre-date their children since the majority of the past 14 years of their lives had been centered around them. The Doctor started a story about the time at the Bone Meadows, letting River jump in with details and add-ons. 

 

The two children both were very interested in learning as much as they could from the adults, asking all sorts of questions just as they had done previously. They ended up talking for a couple hours, all the questions leading to more stories and more questions in turn. It was a nice distraction for the adults from all that was happening. 

 

Eventually, the children left, having to be home to help with chores, leaving the Doctor and River alone again, Venic going off entertain herself. 

 

The Doctor had slipped his hand into River's about two stories ago and was currently tracing his thumb over the back of her palm absentmindedly. "They're very sweet, aren't they." 

 

She nodded, "Yes, they are...They make me miss..." 

 

"Me, too." He murmured. 

 

"We need to come up with a plan on how we're going to get out of here." 

 

He nodded. "There's TARDISes in the Capital. And there's Ohila if we can contact her, but that would also mean going to the Capital." He thought aloud. "But I don't think... we can't leave unless we know we won’t be followed. 'Else this whole chase will start right over again." 

 

"Of course, but figuring out how to get Them off of our tracks still requires a plan. Do you know what they want with us?" She still only had half the information. 

 

"From what I can tell, they want to use us-- use  _ you _ , to figure out what or whom the Hybrid is. Since the Hybrid is prophesied to destroy Gallifrey, they'll want to destroy it before it can… And since they think it may be you..." He paused and looked away for a moment. "It's either that or wait for the prophecy to play out."  

 

She sat for a minute, not speaking. "Perhaps...we could fake my death."

 

"Fake your death?" He echoed curiously. 

 

"If they think I'm gone, then maybe we can get them off of our trail." She explained. 

 

He nodded slowly. "How would we go about that?" 

 

"I don't know, I haven't figured that part out yet. The thing is, after what they did to me in the Capital, it wouldn't be very far-fetched to claim that I died." 

 

"A claim needs evidence. They won't hesitate to raze this town if they think it's a lie." 

 

She frowned slightly, "You're right..." 

 

He thought about what Rai and Theon would think if they faked River's death, which pulled at his hearts. Then he thought about the High Council what they might do to the children for their association with him and River and that made him feel even worse. "If we created a medicine that allowed you to stop showing symptoms of life without actually killing you, that might work." 

 

"Would it be safe for the baby?" She asked.  

 

"If I worked with the Healers, we could make sure it was." 

 

She nodded slowly, "That could work then." 

 

"You know, it's very likely that They may end up coming here before we're able to go to the Capital." 

 

"But that would be detrimental to this town. I want to try and do this as soon as possible to try and prevent that from happening." 

 

"I should talk to the Healers tonight, then. I can wait for Venic to get back if you want." He murmured. 

 

"Okay." She closed her eyes. 

 

"Can I ask you something, Riv?" 

 

She nodded. 

 

"Do you remember, the morning after Oktoberfest and we were in the bath?" She nodded again, slower this time, sensing where this was going. "You knew about that baby... and you drank the champagne." 

 

She tensed and nodded, "Yes....I did."

 

"You drake three flukes." He added in a quiet voice. 

 

"I know..." She closed her eyes, "And I know I shouldn't have..."

 

"Why did you, then?" His voice wasn't accusing, more trying to understand. 

 

"I don't know..." She sighed, "It started as a way to keep you from getting suspicious. I've read that it's okay to have just one glass, and it was just going to be a couple sips, but then I got upset and I didn't think..." 

 

He squeezed her hand, now starting to have a different understanding of just how upset his dying had made her if she'd been mindless enough to drink so much. "I don't know why I bring it up, it just came to my mind." He said apologetically. "But you know, the Healers and the regeneration energy would likely have, em, stopped any damage." 

 

"And I'm  _ very _ grateful for that." She avoided his gaze. 

 

He realized the topic had probably made her think about his regeneration again, so he tried to change the subject. "Dinner? I can make something before I talk with the Healers." 

 

"Sure." She gave him a weak smile, "That would be nice. I'd be happy to help." 

 

"You're still on bed rest," He reminded, "but I don't think it's against the rules to come keep me company if you're sitting."

 

She squeezed his hand again, "Will you help me into the kitchen." 

 

He nodded, giving her a hand up. She leaned against him, walking steadily to the other room. Once she was settled, he looked through what the other's had bought. There were a few meat choices, eggs, leaves of a plant he couldn't quite remember the name of, some rice, and a brown liquid that was either a sauce or a drink. He went for the meat and rice. 

 

"Are you sure you remember how to cook?" River asked, one hand resting against her abdomen. 

 

"Pan, fire… I think it'll be alright." He teased. "Though if I burn it, you don't have to eat it." 

 

She smiled softly, "I don't mind a bit of burnt food and I don't think the baby would either." 

 

He smiled back, putting the white ground meat on the pan. "This is ja’Thkiu, by the way. It lives in the river. Think of turtle, except it's not green and it doesn't have a shell... actually forget the turtle." 

 

She hummed, "It's interesting habitat… so cold a place to live."  

 

"It usually doesn't live there, it just hunts there." He informed, going on to talk about what he knew of the creature. 

 

She listened intently, "You're brilliant." She complimented once he had finished. 

 

He started dishing out the food. "Just a bit of local knowledge. Here." 

 

"Yes, but you remember so much about Gallifrey. It's like you never left..." 

 

He sat across from her. "One never truly forgets where they come from but I don't regret leaving, River." 

 

She shrugged, trying to think of her childhood, but drawing large blanks. "I just meant that it's impressive you're always able to store so much information in your head." 

 

"Never know when you might need it." 

 

Venic returned just then. 

 

"Thank you for taking the children to the market." River smiled, "The Doctor made dinner if you'd like some." 

 

"I'd love some." She helped herself to what was left in the pan. "How are you feeling, Professor?" 

 

"A bit tired and nauseous, but I suppose that's normal." 

 

She nodded. "But if you feel like you can't keep dinner down, I can give you something." 

 

"Thank you, but I think I'll be alright. The Doctor and I actually wanted to talk to you about something..." 

 

"What is it?" She asked, attentive. 

 

"Well, we were wondering if you could help us make something that would be safe for the baby. We need to figure out a way to get off of Gallifrey without the High Council coming after us, so we wanted to make a medication that would make my and the baby’s body stop showing signs of life without farming us." She explained. 

 

Venic thought it over for a moment. "It would be difficult... but possible." 

 

"We want to do this as quickly as possible. We don't want to put you and the town in danger for any longer than necessary." 

 

"We were hoping to get started tonight." The Doctor added. 

 

"Perhaps we can go to the Hut after dinner, it may be easier to work there." 

 

He looked at River, hesitant about leaving her. River looked uncomfortable as well, not wanting to be alone in the cottage. "Would it be possible for you to stay with River?" He asked Venic. "Just in case...  I can tell the others the plan." 

 

Venic nodded, "Of course. I'd be happy to stay." 

 

He relaxed, reaching for River's hand. She squeezed it tightly, still looking rather worried. "I'll only be a couple hours." He murmured. 

 

"I know." She whispered, "But still, I don't like when you're not here." 

 

"Think warm thoughts and I'll be back before you know it." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. 

 

The three finished eating, Venic and the Doctor helping River back to bed after. The Doctor gave her a proper kiss, promising to be back soon. 

 

"Be quick." She whispered, giving him one last kiss. Venic offered River something to drink as the Doctor left. She shook her head, stating that she was going to try and get some rest while the Doctor was gone.

 

When the Doctor returned, it was late. He'd been gone just a bit longer than he'd said, going back to their room. River was still up, not having been able to sleep without him there. 

 

"You're  awake." He murmured, toeing off his shoes. 

 

"I couldn't sleep." She murmured, "How did it go?" 

 

"They're on board with the idea." He settled next to her. "I go again in the morning." 

 

She nodded, "That's good. Hopefully, you can get it done soon." 

 

"Hopefully." He echoed. "What are you thinking about?" 

 

"Our babies." She murmured, "What do you think they're doing right now?" 

 

He thought. He didn't know what time it was in New York, but since it was night here, he went with night. "Getting scolded into brushing their teeth." 

 

She smiled softly, "That sounds about right." 

 

"And maybe getting told stories." He added, smiling as well. 

 

"I hope nothing too bad." She murmured, taking his hand. 

 

"They do have some stories, don't they?" He said. "They" was too general a word-- one listening might not understand who he was referring to, but he knew that River knew he meant the Ponds, so it didn't matter all that much. 

 

"They certainly do." She touched her nose to his shoulder. 

 

"We ought to get some sleep." She nodded, squeezing his hand.  He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Goodnight." 

 

"Goodnight." She breathed, closing her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that it terribly matters, but next chapter we get to meet Rai and Theon's mom, which I'm excited for. Also, we get to learn more about the Gallifreyan culture surrounding womb-borns :D


	24. The Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "These sound like very special traditions." River murmured, looking at the Doctor, wondering why he had never mentioned them.
> 
> He looked a bit tense as מosa continued. "They are. The naming ceremonies always have a lovely feast and, well, the Cleansing wasn't so pleasant, but it was over quickly."
> 
> "What's the Cleansing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than I expected, but it's been busy. Enjoy!

**Ch 24**

 

In the morning the Doctor cooked what could pass for pancakes given the extraterrestrial ingredients. The children came again and were fascinated at the Earth dish, eating all the leftover “pancakes”. The Doctor went back to work with the Healers, kissing River goodbye and leaving her with Venic and the kids. 

 

River was a bit less anxious to be left alone than the day before, though she still couldn't rest until he returned. This pattern went on for a few days. 

 

Venic's check ups on River showed that everything seemed to be getting better. 

 

Along with the kids, other people of the town stopped by to meet River, including Milva a few times. Most others brought a gift and didn't stay long. 

 

Rai and Theon's mother came on the fourth day, bringing more food. The children were gathered around River in bed while their mother cooked dinner in the kitchen. River was telling them a modified version of one of her adventures to entertain them. 

 

מos'Rhovae, the mother whom most called מosa for short, was making a traditional dish that used to be made when one of the community was going to have a baby. The meal was very rare nowadays--Rai had loved it when she'd tried it before her brother was born, and Theon was very excited to try it now for the first time. The dish was to be eaten slowly, as it was currently very common to only try it once in one's lifetime. 

 

The Doctor came home as soon just as מosa announced dinner. River smiled when she saw her husband, getting up to greet him. Today was one of the first days she was only on partial bedrest. "How did it go today?" 

 

"We've almost finished." He gave her a kiss. "The Healers are putting it in a consumable form." 

 

"That's good to hear." She murmured, giving him another peck, "מosa made dinner for us." 

 

"Rai and Theon's mother?" She'd come in the middle of the day, so the Doctor hadn't met her yet. "How kind." 

 

"She said it's traditional for when parents are expecting." She brought him over to the table. 

 

"Tsiat cubiegh." He said the name of the dish nostalgically. "Smells wonderful." 

 

River smiled, "מosa, this is my husband, the Doctor." 

 

The woman smiled brightly, shaking hands with him. "The Doctor of War, yes, I know how you are. An honor to meet you, Doctor." 

 

The Doctor offered a smile. "Good to meet you, too." 

 

"I've been telling her about how much we've enjoyed Theon and Rai's company and what good practice it's been for the future." River had made sure to make it seem like this baby was their first. 

 

The Doctor caught on easily, trying to forget the extra 'of War' מosa has tacked onto the end of his title.  "Very good practice." He agreed. "They're very well behaved, I must say." 

 

"That is good to hear. I was worried that they would be bothering you too much, but they do seem to love coming to visit." The woman smiled. 

 

The children, who were already sat at the table with Venic, made comments of agreement. "Can we eat now?" Theon asked.

 

"Yes, but it is the custom for the parents-to-be to serve each other first." מosa explained to the boy. Theon didn't look too pleased, but the Doctor promised to be quick as he and River sat down. 

 

River took the first slice, feeding her husband the first piece just as מosa said to do. The Doctor hummed gratefully, repeating the action back. She smiled, giving him a quick kiss as the children dug in to get their slices. 

 

"It feels like so long ago since I've had this," מosa commented. 

 

"Is Theon the youngest child in the town?" River asked. 

 

מosa nodded. "Yes, he is. There's hardly enough children with us to fill the Clodiphi." 

 

River nodded, understanding. 

 

"It is a shame you must leave." מosa continued. "There are many traditions surrounding births here." 

 

"Yes, I do wish we could stay." 

 

"Perhaps, Doctor, you remember them? You could carry some of them out." מosa asked.

 

"Yes." He nodded slowly. "I could, thank you for the suggestion." 

 

River took his hand, squeezing it softly. She was rather curious about some of the traditions, wondering why he had never mentioned them before. 

 

He squeezed back, "Some of them may be difficult with only River and me alone," he added. 

 

"Like what?" River asked. 

 

"There's the Giving, of course." The other woman said. 

 

"What happens during the Giving?" 

 

"The whole town gets together and everyone gives a just little regeneration energy to the new child. It's for good luck." 

 

"These sound like very special traditions." River murmured, looking at the Doctor, wondering why he had never mentioned them. 

 

He looked a bit tense as מosa continued. "They are. The naming ceremonies always have a lovely feast and, well, the Cleansing wasn't so pleasant, but it was over quickly." 

 

"What's the Cleansing?" River wanted to know more about this whole new realm the Doctor never shared with her. 

 

"Em," מosa glanced at the children, not wanting them to hear. "I will explain it after supper."

River nodded, the topic of the conversation moving away from the traditions for the remainder of dinner. The children were content to chatter away about other facts about Gallifrey that they assumed were new to River. It was mostly about plants and the various astral events that happened every few months. There was a commit series due tonight. 

 

River smiled as she listened, though jumped at the first opportunity to catch מosa alone after the meal and learn more about the Cleansing from her. 

 

מosa was doing the washing up as the Doctor occupied the children in the other room. "Oh, the Cleansing? Well, it sounds worse than it is, really. The Healers usually do it. They'll, em, well they'll prolapse the womb after the baby is born to... scrape away all the after birth and bits.” 

 

River looked shocked at that. A prolapsed anything was a serious birth complication that could lead to death without medical assistance. To do it voluntarily was beyond her. 

 

“Avoids long-term postpartum bleeding that way, you see.” מosa said at River’s expression, “And all of that is collected and mixed with a bit of the baby's blood, and father's if he's around." 

 

"What do they do with all of it after? Why would they mix it?" She frowned, not understanding why the Doctor had kept this from her. 

 

"Well it's part of a connection ceremony, but that's not until later, usually when the child learns to walk. It allows the telepathic link to be used over a very long distance. Used to be for when the children went to the Academy, but the Academy's long since been closed to us out here in the Dry Lands." 

 

"I see..." She nodded, "Thank you for explaining, I appreciate it." 

 

מosa smiled. "Of course. And if you don't have the Cleansing, long range telepathy with your child is still possible. It just takes much more work." 

 

River thanked the woman again, waiting till she and the children had left before questioning the Doctor. 

 

They were sitting on the bed facing each other, the Doctor staring at a spot on the wall over her shoulder. "It... didn't seem relevant." 

 

"It's your history, your culture, the culture of our  _ children _ . How could it not be relevant? You can't honestly expect me to believe that?" 

 

"It was painful, River." The words sounded like they'd taken a lot of effort to admit. "Gallifrey was gone when Amei-- Gallifrey was gone. I was the reason it was gone." He sighed. "I couldn't have done any of it even if I wanted to." 

 

Her expression softened and she pulled him close to her for an embrace, "I understand, it's alright." 

 

He hadn't expected her to let it go so easily but regardless relaxed in her arms. "I was going to give them some regeneration energy, but you were bleeding so much I used it for that instead. And I don't know what מosa told you, but the Cleansing is extremely dangerous."  

 

"She didn't tell me that part." River murmured, "But if you want, we can do some of the less dangerous traditions for this baby." She gave him a weak smile, bringing his hand to rest on her small bump. 

 

He breathed out slowly in quiet awe at the life growing in her, "I'd like that." He whispered. He didn't say it out loud, but they both knew that he was now capable of giving regeneration energy. He considered giving a little to the other kids too since he hadn't had the chance before. It wasn't traditional, but he liked the idea. 

 

"You know, I think we've made a few of our own traditions." 

 

"Have we?" 

 

She nodded, "For every baby, we've given them your-" She paused, wincing. 

 

His brow furrowed. "Riv?" 

 

"It's okay." She murmured, taking his hand, "It's just a cramp." 

 

He looked unconvinced. 

 

"Venic said it's normal to have them every so often." 

 

"I want her to examine you." 

 

"Would it make you feel better?" She murmured. 

 

"It would." He replied before calling Venic into the room. 

 

"What can I do for you?" The woman asked, entering the room, "Is everything alright?" 

 

"River's having cramps." The Doctor said protectively. 

 

"I informed the professor that cramps are perfectly normal as long as they don't happen too often, but I would be happy to do an examination." She walked over. 

 

"Thank you." The Doctor shifted out of her way so she could work. River took his hand as Venic began the examination. 

 

The woman was quick, doing a bit of prodding and asking if it hurt where she touched. River frowned at one point, feeling like the woman was pressing a bit  _ too _ hard. 

 

"All appears fine," Venic said when she was finished. "Let your minds be at ease." 

 

"Thank you." River breathed, glancing at the Doctor, wondering if he noticed what she did. He didn't seem to have picked up on it. He thanked her as well as she made her exit. 

 

River waited to the woman left before bringing it up, "Were you watching her hands?" She asked quietly. 

 

"No... was I supposed to be?" He asked. They'd glowed a bit, but that always happened when they examined River. 

 

"No..." She murmured, wondering if maybe she was just overreacting, "She just seemed to be pressing unnecessarily hard." 

 

"Oh." He thought it over. "Maybe she's tired. She's stayed with us all week, after all." 

 

"I'm sure that's it." She murmured, running her hand along her abdomen protectively. 

 

"We shouldn't worry." He put his hand over hers and kissed her temple. It was completely hypocritical, as he'd just been worried enough to call Venic in. 

 

She nodded, not wanting to upset him. "I know." 

 

He looked lost in thought for a moment. "We're going to have to sneak into the capital if we want them to stay away from the town." 

 

She nodded, "How are we going to get back?" They had taken the river to get to the town and it would be too dangerous to try and swim back upstream. 

 

"Maybe there's something here in the town..." It wasn't a very developed place and there wasn't much technology there. 

 

"We can go look tomorrow. It's getting rather dark now." 

 

He nodded, "Alright. Let's get some sleep in the meantime. We're going to need it." 

  
She nodded, closing her eyes to try and get some rest. 


	25. A Hero's Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai reached into her pocket and pulled out a small rock with an etching of some sort of flower on it. "Take this for luck."
> 
> "Thank you, dear." River murmured, squeezing the rock tightly. Even a quick glance was enough for her to recognize the etching from her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 25**

 

The morning brought red, cloudy skies over the town. It created the sort of quiet one found when hidden beneath a blanket. The Doctor blinked awake, rolled on his side, and looked at his wife. He had an uneasy feeling about going back into territory where she could do easily get hurt. He moved a stray curl away from her face. 

 

She murmured something unclear in her sleep, leaning ever so slightly into his touch. He rested his palm against her cheek, listening with no intention of waking her. 

 

"Doctor..." She mumbled, still asleep, "The baby...." He unconsciously moved his thumb back and forth across her skin, wondering if she was really calling for him or if it was just her dream. "William..." She whispered, brow furrowing in her sleep. 

 

"River, " he said softly. He knew from the name it was a dream, but he couldn't imagine it being a pleasant one. 

 

"Doctor..." She whispered, sounding more distressed this time. 

 

"Wake up." He said a bit louder. Her eyes blinked open, the distress on her face lingering for a moment. "It's alright," he whispered, "I'm here." 

 

She nodded, reaching to take his hand. He met her halfway, giving her hand a squeeze. 

 

"Alright?" 

 

She nodded, "I'm okay. Just... dreaming." 

 

"I know, I heard." 

 

"Oh." She breathed, "I'm sorry." 

 

"No need to be. I just want to make sure you were okay," he said gently. "You said his name." 

 

She nodded slowly. He glanced out the window, changing the subject for her. "I should make some food before we get going." 

 

"I can help." She murmured. 

 

"Alright." He helped her out of bed. She walked with him to the kitchen, glancing out at the sky. 

 

"Eggs?" He suggested. 

 

"That would be nice." She nodded. 

 

He got started on the food, neither of them quite managing to mention their nervousness about the day ahead of them, but somehow still understanding the other's just fine. 

 

River walked over to him as he made the food, rubbing his shoulders to try and help relax him. He put his hand over hers with a weak smile. "I haven't seen Venic this morning. I think she's gone to check in with the other Healers." 

 

She nodded, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, "We have to thank her before we go." He made a noise of agreement. 

 

Soon they sat down to eat, hands still joined. River picked at the eggs, not having much of an appetite. She ran her hand along her belly, looking worriedly up at the Doctor. 

 

He met her eyes, "Alright?" 

 

She nodded, "I'm just worried about the baby." 

 

"Me, too." He murmured. 

 

"Can you come closer?" She asked. 

 

He nodded, moving to sit next to her instead of across from her. She took his hand, bringing it to rest where hers had been. He gave a small smile. "Do you think the others will be pleased?" He meant the children. 

 

"I hope so." She smiled as well, "It's been awhile since we talked about kids, but...I think they'll be excited." 

 

He nodded in hopeful agreement. It felt a bit alarming to think about the future since he hardly knew if River or this baby would make it through today. He almost didn't want to get his hopes up. 

 

"We know that you make it out of this." She murmured, her mind obviously stuck in a similar place, "I've seen future you, so you have to survive."

"It's not me I'm worried about." He admitted. 

 

"The baby and I will be okay." She touched his cheek, trying to be assuring, "I know how to keep it safe." 

 

He put his other hand over hers, leaning into her touch. He was trying his hardest to be at least somewhat positive. "Rassilon won't know what hit him." 

 

"He certainly won't." She leaned in to kiss him. He met her lips, kissing her softly but with affection enough to fill his hearts and then some. 

 

She smiled once they pulled away, "It'll be alright." 

 

"Aren't I the one supposed to be saying that to you?" He teased lightly. 

 

"Yes, I suppose so." She smiled, "However, I think we can make an exception." 

 

She kissed his cheek, "We should get ready." He nodded in agreement. 

 

They didn't really have to pack anything since they hadn't come with anything, so getting ready mostly just entailed putting on shoes and coats. 

 

River stood in the doorway of the bedroom, her coat and shoes on. The coat wasn't quite enough to hide her bump, which peaked through. His eyes were on her as he toed his shoes on. "Ready?" 

 

She nodded hesitantly, smoothing her clothes over her middle once more. He took her hand tightly and they left the little cottage, heading for the Healer's hut. 

 

The Healers were all waiting for them, the serum that had been concocted resting on the counter. 

 

"Thank you all very much for this." The Doctor murmured. "We would repay you if we could." 

 

"There is no need. We are happy to help." One of the women smiled. 

 

He thought for a moment about his place here as a war hero, how most who knew his name felt in debt to him. The people of the town had given food and shelter, guards in the capital had helped him escape to find River the last two times he was there, all because he'd once saved their lives. If only they knew he'd once taken them, too. 

 

He tried and failed to manage a smile and pocketed the serum. "There  _ is  _ one more thing before we go... if it's not too much. We need a transport to the capital. Preferably something discrete."  

 

"There are some transports in the marketplace if you ask, I'm sure they would be happy to give one to you." 

 

"Thank you." He nodded looking back at River. "We should get going." 

 

They started towards the market, the cloudy morning tinting the town darker. He glanced over as they passed Rai and Theon's house, spotting two little noses peeking out the window. 

 

"Do you want to say goodbye?" River asked softly. 

 

He hesitated because he was reluctant to admit he'd grown attached to the children (especially with missing their own kids so much), but eventually nodded. 

 

They walked up to the house, the door opening before they even reached it. Rai and Theon's beaming faces looked up at them excitedly, not realizing the two adults had come to say goodbye. 

 

"Hello, little ones." The Doctor smiled sadly.  

 

"Come inside! We're having breakfast, you can join us." Theon smiled. 

 

"I'm afraid we've already eaten. River and I... we're leaving today." He said slowly. 

 

The children's smiles faded, "Why?" 

 

He bent down to their level. "It's a bit complicated, I'm afraid. We have something of a mission we have to finish. The longer we're here, the more we put your town in danger." 

 

"But we'll miss you." Rai pouted, "Nobody else has stories as good as yours." 

 

"Perhaps you can make your own stories." He soothed. "There's alway an adventure to be had somewhere. There's alway treasure to be found and people to meet and monsters to chase away." 

 

"Will you come back and visit?" Theon asked. 

 

"I don't know." He answered, though in honesty it was a very low likelihood. 

 

"We want to meet the baby so you hafta come back!" Rai insisted. 

 

He looked up at River, not knowing what to say. River knelt down next to her husband, "Well, Rai. As much as we want you to meet our baby, I don't know if it will be safe for us to bring it here." 

 

The girl looked at the ground. "Why not?" 

 

"There are a lot of powerful people here who don't like me and the Doctor and they would want to hurt the baby." She explained. 

 

"I don't want anyone to hurt you!" She looked alarmed. 

 

"I know, and they won't." River assured. 

 

Rai looked on the verge of tears. "You promise?" 

 

"I promise." She nodded. 

 

Sniffling, Rai threw her arms around River to hug her. River hugged the girl, comforting her a bit. Theon wiggled his way into the embrace, crying harder than his sister. 

 

"It'll be alright." She murmured. 

 

"Will you ever come back?" Theon asked.

 

"We'll try our best." She lied. 

 

Rai reached into her pocket and pulled out a small rock with an etching of some sort of flower on it. "Take this for luck." 

 

"Thank you, dear." River murmured, squeezing the rock tightly. Even a quick glance was enough for her to recognize the etching from her past. It wasn’t as neat or smooth as when she’d first seen it. It would probably be fixed up by her husband later. 

 

"A lady gave it to me on my first day of school." She explained sadly. "It's my good-luck rock so maybe if you have it, you won't get hurt." 

 

"Are you sure you don't want to keep it?" River asked. 

 

Rai shook her head, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "If you never come back, I don't want you to forget us." 

 

"I won't, I promise." She smiled, "Thank you very much."

 

The Doctor put a hand on River's shoulder. "We ought to get going." 

 

She nodded, "I know..." 

 

He looked at the kids. "You two be strong now, alright? Look out for each other. ...and if anyone in red robes asks about us, you lie to them, alright?." 

 

The children nodded, grasping each other's hands. The Doctor's stomach tightened, painfully reminded of his own children moments before he'd let the Angel take them. He took River's  hand.

"Bye." The children waved as River and the Doctor turned away. 

 

They made their way towards the markets, saying nothing but keeping hold of each other's hand. The market wasn't a far walk, people openly staring at the pair as they moved through the streets. The Doctor shifted protectively to have his arm around River’s waist. 

 

Milva was waiting in the marketplace when they got there. 

 

"Do you know where we can get transportation to the capital?" River asked the woman once they had drawn close enough.

 

"I do." She nodded. "But you shouldn't go."

 

"Why not? We can't stay here forever."

 

"No, you can't," she agreed, "But running to the capital is foolish and suicidal. You can't expect to go undetected or left alone." 

 

"We have a plan." River defended, "We're not going in unprepared." 

 

Milva's concern didn't fade. "I recognize that you two are capable people, but you are  _ valuable _ . Doctor, you were one of the last children of the Dry Lands to make it out of this place. You are the savior of worlds, our  _ hope _ . And you, River, you may very well be that last free Time Lady there is. Free to have children, free to do something with your life out of the shadow of the Capital." She took River's hand. "This child is a miracle and if that light is darkened, there is none for any of us." 

 

River glanced at her husband, seeing Milva's point, "Well then what do you suggest we do?" 

 

"We go to the Capital." He cut off whatever Milva was going to suggest. "I'm sorry Milva, but we're not going to jump from town to town looking for a spare TARDIS. Rassilon is a desperate man and I'm sorry for what Gallifrey has come to, but we need to go. We need to take ourselves out of the equation completely. Prophecy or not, hero or not, risk or not, my family comes first." 

 

"So you are going to abandon your own people? Are you going to leave us to rot until the next census?  _ We  _ are your people, we are your family. You are leading your wife and child to slaughter by going to the Capital." She gripped River's hand tighter as if to prove her point. 

 

"I'm  _ not _ abandoning anyone." He said too defensively. "I'm not the only damn savior there was or will be. I can't save anyone from Rassilon, that is not  _ my _ duty." 

 

People in the market were starting to look at them now. 

 

" _ Fine. _ If you refuse to listen then you can't blame us if you all don't make it out alive."

 

The Doctor closed his eyes, trying to calm down. "And when the Capital comes for a census, you can thank me for not sticking around and risking all of your lives." 

 

River put her hand on his arm, trying to give him some form of comfort. 

 

"We can protect you when the census comes. We have ways of hiding you so that they won't find you." Milva tried again. 

 

"It's not your job to protect me. The way the people look at me, there aren't many here who'd risk themselves to protect us, risk their  _ children  _ to protect us. I'm not asking them to." He sighed. "We've got to get a move on." 

 

"Thank you for all of your help." River murmured. 

 

Milva looked at the floor. "Do stay safe, child." 

 

She nodded, gripping her husband's hand tighter. They left Milva and moved to the back of the shops where the transporters were. The teleports wouldn't get them in the city, but it would get them close enough to walk. 

 

"Are you ready?" River asked softly. 

 

"Probably not, " he whispered. "But I suspect we should go anyways.'" 

  
She nodded, taking a deep breath. They stepped onto the teleport and disappeared from the town. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lookie I made fanart because I'm trash ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ :
> 
> http://riversongbadass-whovian-overload.tumblr.com/post/160313269202/a-scene-from-ch-16-of-my-collab-fic-a-sea-of


	26. The Hybrid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rassilon frowned. "I see heart beats."
> 
> The man leaned down, checking River's pulse, "She doesn't have a pulse, sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say enjoy but I have a feeling that the emotions in the chapter may not be the most positive.
> 
> Spoilers/Trigger warning for forced miscarriage.

**Ch 26**

  
  


The location they materialized it was in the mountains above the Capitol and much colder than the town had been. River wrapped her arms around herself to try and keep warm, "When should I take the medication?" She asked quietly, glancing around. 

 

"After someone see's you. We've got to make them think they're the ones who killed you... Do you want my coat?" 

 

"I don't want you to get cold." She murmured. 

 

"I'm alright." He said in the same tone. She shook her head, but he took his coat off anyways and put it on her shoulders. "Can I ask you something?" 

 

"Of course." 

 

"Do you agree with what Milva said? Am I just... leading you blindly into danger? Abandoning everyone?" 

 

"I don't know… I don't think there really is another option for us." She whispered, "Do you think she's right?"  

 

"I think it's more complicated that being right or wrong. I want to know if you feel like I'm forcing you into this plan." 

 

"I don't think you're forcing me." She took his hand, pulling him close, "Like I said, there aren't many other options and this seems like our best shot." 

 

He wrapped his arms around her for a moment, his cheek resting against her forehead. 

 

"I love you." She murmured. 

 

He kissed her and pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you too." 

 

She smiled weakly, "I trust you." 

 

He nodded, cupping her cheek, "Here's to not letting you down." She closed her eyes, hopping this moment wouldn't be their last. 

 

After few a minutes, they pulled away and started making their way down to the city. River held the Doctor’s hand tightly, watching their surroundings closely. The path was fairly hidden behind large boulders and snow banks. The citadel could be seen at small dips in the land and was growing more consistently visible as they got closer. 

 

As the pair drew closer, people could be seen clearly inside the city, which meant that they could be seen as well. They came to a point where there would be no cover if they walked further, so they stopped in their path. 

 

"What's the plan now?" River asked.

 

"There should be an entrance around here..." The Doctor glanced around. 

 

"There. That might be it." She pointed. 

 

Covered in lichen and icy dirt was a very faint etching in the rock of a Gallifreyan word roughly translated to, "portal of which danger lies”. 

 

"Good eyes." The Doctor murmured. 

 

"Thanks." She muttered, reading the words. 

 

"This route was designed by people trying to get out, not get in." He explained, seeing her expression. 

 

She nodded. "I can tell." He started to push against the stone, a small opening appearing. She did the same, helping his move the boulder. "Are you sure you want to do this?" 

 

"Rassilon won't stop until he thinks the threat of the Hybrid is gone or until the prophecy happen before he can stop it," He whispered. "There's no time to play his games, even if we're the biggest pieces on the board. You don't deserve to be trapped on this planet until we can find another way out. Our children don't deserve to wait and wonder if we'll come back." 

 

She nodded, "Okay, if you're sure then let's do this." He nodded with determination and they headed into the hidden passage. 

 

The passage was cold, dark, and musty. Winds could be heard echoing through the cave system. The Doctor took his sonic on one hand and River's hand in the other. "This way." 

 

-x-

 

They were stopped in front of a door. It was a very forgotten looking door, but nonetheless it was a splitting point. The Doctor reached in his pocket and handed River the drug the Healers had made. River clutched it tightly. "Remember to take it at a point where they think they killed you. The effects last for about twelve hours. I'll probably find you before then, but if I don't, just wait for me or take another dose."  

 

She nodded, giving him a final kiss. "Stay safe." 

 

"You too," he said very seriously. They pushed open the old door together. 

 

The door lead out to a grand hall that was at least half a dozen meters high and built of dark marbles and polished metal pillars. Unluckily for them, the guards were right outside the doors. 

 

Immediately there were guns pointed at them and something being yelled in a dialect of Gallifreyan that only the Doctor fully understood. He replied in the same language before the guards very, very slowly lowered their guns but didn't take their fingers off the triggers. 

 

"What did you say?" River asked. 

 

"I told them who I am." He murmured. "These men served with me." She relaxed a bit. He turned back to the guards. "You will not tell Rassilon we're here?" 

 

The soldiers shook their heads, "We won't. You have our word." 

 

"Good. Then I need a favor." 

 

"What do you need, sir?" 

 

"I need you to help us with a plan." He started, going into detail. The  guards were to act like they'd found River, killed her on site, then show Rassilon her "dead" body as proof. If all went smoothly, they would then take River somewhere safe to wait for him to find a TARDIS. "And," he added with a severe tone of warning, "if any harm comes to River, I  _ will  _ destroy the Capitol with you in it." 

 

They nodded in understanding, faces solemn. "We will do everything we can to make sure she stays safe." 

 

He relayed the plan to River in English. "I think it's about time to take the medicine now." 

 

"Okay." She gave him a weak smile, "Promise me you won't do anything stupid?" 

 

"I would, but I might be lying. Sometimes one needs a little stupid. But no dying. I can promise that if you can." 

 

She smiled weakly, "You'd better not because if you die again I'll kill you." 

 

"Acknowledged." He kissed her softly. She pulled him a bit closer to deepen the kiss. The guards glanced away to give them a little privacy. 

 

"I'll keep our baby safe." She murmured, pulling out the medicine. He nodded, feeling quite tense and he reluctantly pulled away. She took the medicine, squeezing his hand for a moment, and then collapsing. 

 

The guards looked at each other, waiting until the Doctor was out of sight before taking their guns and firing a round at the wall. At the sound of the gunshots and their shouts of an intruder, other guards came running and soon River was being carried by the guards to the Rassilon's chamber. 

 

River was tossed roughly onto the floor at Rassilon's feet. "What is the meaning of this?" Rassilon barked. 

 

"It's the Consort of the Doctor, Lord President. Units caught her in the northeast corridor, the Doctor was not found, but is probably close by." One of the head guards reported. 

 

"Is she alive?" 

 

The guard shook his head, "The guards who found her reported that they had to shoot for the safety of the situation. She was dead when I arrived." 

 

"Idiots." He hissed. "I wanted her alive! Why isn't she regenerating? Scan her!" He demanded. 

 

"It was a double shot, sir. They made sure to kill her, but we will do a scan to be sure." 

 

"Get on with it." He snarled. 

 

The guard pulled out a scanner, scanning River's body and immediately showing the results to Rassilon. 

 

Rassilon frowned. "I see heart beats." 

 

The man leaned down, checking River's pulse, "She doesn't have a pulse, sir." 

 

He thought with effort. "...The child?" 

 

"Perhaps. What do you want to do about it?" 

 

"Take her to the Surgeon General to confirm." 

 

The guard nodded, lifting her up once more. A few of the company ran ahead to alert the Surgeon General. The Lord President, the guards the Doctor had conferred with and other guards followed. 

 

River was limply put on the examination table. The Surgeon General immediately pulled up a more advanced scanner, scanning River's abdomen. There, completely unaffected by the medication, was the baby: two heart beats and all. 

 

Rassilon looked livid. He glared at a guard. "You! Give me your dagger." 

 

She, not being one of the men the Doctor had spoken to, handed over her knife, the point glistening in the light. Russian took it with force, looking at the occupants of the room and gesturing to the fetus on the scan. "This  _ creature  _ is not one of us. This creature does not share our blood, our history. It is sick, a threat. An abomination!" With that, he plunged the knife down into River's abdomen.  

 

The little heartbeat that had been displaying on the scan fluttered for a few seconds and then went flat. The guards who were covering for the Doctor looked at each other with fear that the Doctor would now carry out his threat. 

 

"Would you like me to burn the body?" The Surgeon General asked.  

 

"In a moment." Rassilon growled, waiting for the faint glowing light of regeneration energy from the fetus. Blood started leaking out from between River's legs and she was beginning to pale. The glow started from her middle and brightened quickly in an effort against what was happening, but Rassilon put his hand over the glow and redirected the energy to himself. 

 

The guards watched helplessly as he did this. "We will take care of the body." One of the offered, not wanting any further damage to be done. 

 

"Do what you please. She is nothing more than scum at the bottom of a river bed. And you, find the Doctor and lock him up before he finds her!" He ordered of another guard. 

 

They nodded, one of the Doctor's accomplices stepping forward and lifting River, silently apologizing for the travesty that he had just witnessed. He and the other accomplice were permitted to leave the 'disgraceful mut' and hurried from the room, trying desperately to figure out what to do. There were other medical staff here, maybe one of them would be willing to help. 

 

One of the guards ran off to try and find someone who would help while the other took River to safety. He found the nearest guard's quarters, putting her on one of the beds, and using a blanket to put pressure on her wound. 

 

After about twenty minutes, one of the guards returned with two nurses, both of whom he promised were trustworthy. 

 

"She's paling," said the first guard. "She's losing blood too fast." 

 

"You did the right thing by putting pressure on the wound." One of the nurses murmured, getting her hands glowing. 

 

"Can you save the child?" 

 

"There is no point in trying to save the child if the mother is dying too. We have to focus on her first." The Doctor was going to be furious either way, but better to have at least one of them live.

 

The two nurses worked with hyperfocus, the minutes ticking by slowly. They were not able to do much without equipment and regulation, but they were able to stop the bleeding. They used the sheet to make a makeshift tourniquet, tearing it and tying it around River’s torso. 

 

"I'm sorry, but there was no hope for the fetus." Murmured one of the nurses

 

The others nodded, having figured as much. They could only imagine what the Doctor would do when he found out. 

 

"I understand this is the Doctor's wife?" 

 

"Yes, you must not tell anyone where she is,” replied a guard.

 

"Of course not it's just... He is a very powerful man..." 

 

"Yes, he is and he is going to be furious when he finds out what's happened." 

 

"The anger of a good man is dangerous. Do you know what he will do?" Asked the nurse.

 

"He told us that if anything were to happen to her, he would destroy the capital." One of the guards murmured. 

 

The nurse shut her eyes with worry. "Perhaps an evacuation is possible?" 

 

The other nurse was quick to add: "Get everyone that you can out of here and to shelter as quickly as possible. You must be desecrete, we cannot draw too much attention to ourselves." 

 

"Who will stay with her?" A guard piped up.

 

"I'll bring her to the agreed upon meeting place." The other guard offered. 

 

The rest of them nodded. "Wait as long as you can to give the rest of us time to evacuate citizens." 

 

He nodded, "Of course. Go quickly." 

 

They fled the room as quickly as they could without looking suspicious. The nurses were to go to the north and south of the city and start with the people closest to the walls. The other guard was to recruit other more whom he knew were trustworthy into helping as well. 

 

It was four hours before the guard who’d stayed behind was brave enough to take River out of the hiding place. Slowly and as stealthily as possible, he made his way down to the TARDIS repair shop with River in his arms. There were not many people roaming the halls so he made it without too much trouble. 

 

The Doctor was there, back to the guard. He had chosen a primitive, half deconstructed TARDIS to work on, one that couldn't be tracked. The guard cleared his throat, "D-Doctor?" 

 

He stood, though hesitated to turn around. "You sound scared." The man swallowed, not knowing how to respond. "I assume you have River with you." His tone was growing darker. "But if I turn around and see her less than in the condition I left her in, you had better run." 

 

"W-We couldn't stop it. Rassilon would have killed us." He stammered, trying to defend himself. 

 

The Doctor spun suddenly on him, eyes widening at the sight of the bloody cloth over River's abdomen. 

 

"We tried to help it....I'm sorry...." 

 

"Are you deaf?" He said in an almost whisper, before raising his voice. "I said run!" 

 

The guard put River down and ran as fast as he could. The Doctor dropped his menacing look, rushing over to his wife’s side. 

 

"Oh, what did they do to you River?" He carefully undid the bandages, wincing at what he saw. There was a large gash, though most of the bleeding had stopped, there were still bits oozing red liquid. He quickly re-did the bindings, furry building in him. He didn't know what else to feel. He knew this was his fault, he knew he should've listened to Milva, but the guilt was too much to feel. The anger, however, was very much something he could feel right down to his bones. 

 

He picked River up and put her in the escape TARDIS, then took one of the other TARDISes and furiously started to input something into the controls. He was not a man of empty threats and Rassilon wasn't even close to an exception to his wrath. 

 

The room around them shifted, the escape TARDIS linking gently with River's mind once she was placed inside. 

  
"Keep her safe." He whispered to the escape TARDIS, before dematerializing with the other TARDIS. For what it was worth, he was glad River wasn't going to see what he was about to do. 


	27. Never Cruel, Nor Cowardly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They had his regeneration energy as a safeguard, he knew it, but River hated when he used it on her and he knew that, too. She would already be disappointed in him for what he did and he was convinced that she would blame him for the baby, too. He certainly blamed himself. So for now, they were going to do this the way River would want: without regeneration energy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and don't forget to comment :)

**Ch 27**

 

The escape TARDIS's conscious was quite different than their own TARDIS's conscious. It was younger, more energetic and curious, especially with its new visitor. It cradled River's mind like she was breakable; this TARDIS having never linked with anyone who wasn't fully Gallifreyan before. It explored with caution into her mind for the person resting within. 

 

River's mind had been put in a dream state since she’s taken the drug. She was dreaming about her children and the Doctor-- the face that she missed so much. She dreamed about the baby that they would be having, her mind resting pleasantly oblivious. 

 

The TARDIS watched the dream with fixation. Everything about River's mind was new and new was intriguing. New was exciting. The TARDIS wanted to ask about the miniature Gallifreyans and why they seemed to give River so much joy. 

 

River's mind grew especially warm and happy when a bow-tie wearing man appeared, the thoughts that swirled around him loving, but slightly sad. 

 

_ Why sadness, child?  _ The TARDIS couldn't help but ask. 

 

River’s mind was not focused enough to question the new voice,  _ I miss him....  _

 

_ Where is he?  _ The ship inquired. 

 

_ He's gone. He regenerated and now he's someone else. _

 

This confused the TARDIS.  _ New cases, the children always get new cases, but inside is unchanged.  _

 

_ But he acts differently. It's not just the outside, there are inside parts that are different too. _

 

The ship looked at her memories of the eleventh doctor, then at the new memories of the twelfth.  _ I'm sorry for loss. You tell new joy-man kind words. Love words. Why? _

 

_ Because I still love him. Those feelings didn't change when he changed. _

 

_ Joy-man causes such confusing emotions.  _ The TARDIS concluded, somewhat, but not fully understanding River's thoughts.  _ Joy-man gives you small joy-people. _

 

_ Yes, our children... _ Her mind hummed warmly. 

 

_ Small.  _

 

_ Yes, our kids...  _ River mind repeated. 

 

The TARDIS wasn't sure why the children looked under-grown and not like the adults, but let the matter go as a loud, distant sound of an explosion echoed through the Capital.  _ Joy-man is angry... _

 

_ Doctor.... _ Her mind reached out for him. There was no one but the TARDIS close enough to reach. 

 

_ He has gone with my sister to be angry. _

 

_ I want him to come back, he doesn't think when he's angry. He'll get hurt…  _

 

_ He is angry because you are hurt.  _

 

_ No, no...I'm not hurt....It's the medicine _

 

_ You are hurt.  _ The TARDIS repeated, trying to convey images of stab wounds. 

 

_ No. No.  _ River’s mind started to shut the TARDIS out, trying to protect itself. 

 

The TARDIS retreated like a startled cat, not all the way, but enough that River's conscience was distanced. River's mind drew forth happy images again, trying to suppress and protect her from the new information. 

 

Not knowing what else to do, the TARDIS tried to do what River's defenses were doing and pretend the Capital wasn't being destroyed. It thought of the capital during the days it was looked up to, so very long ago. It started to tell River a story about her old pilot, hoping she was listening. It was mostly in pictures since words were getting too complicated, but it occupied the time for the next two hours as the sky fell. 

 

River's mind was becoming more aware of herself during this time, now reaching out and trying to find the Doctor more often. It was a long time, but eventually, the Doctor reached back. 

 

_ Doctor… _

 

His thoughts were chaotic, but he managed a messy reply of her name as he approached the ship. 

 

_ Need you....come back…  _

 

_ I'm here.  _ He knelt my her body. 

 

_ Where did you go? _ The next words sounded weary. 

 

_ To give Rassilon a talking to. _

 

_ Something's not right. Something hurts.  _ She was starting to wake up now. The medicine that had been preventing her pain receptors from working was now wearing off. 

 

_ I know, don't panic.  _ He tried to sooth.  _ I'll get us out of here and then I can make the pain stop. _

 

_ Okay.... _ Despite his words, the panic was evident in her thoughts. He moved over to the controls and started to bring them out of the burning city. 

 

It took effort for this TARDIS to take flight as it hadn't flown in years and was falling apart. It was a bit like the TARDIS he'd once made out of a scrap yard on House. The flight was certainly as bumpy. This worsened pain worse and brought River out of her sleepy state more. 

 

_ Just hang in there, River.  _ He tried to keep focused on her mind as he piloted. 

 

_ What's happening?  _

 

_ We're going home. Just focus on that, we're going home.  _

 

_ Home...okay....home. _

 

The TARDIS jerked roughly, not handling the vortex very well. A few panels were ripped off the side, getting eaten away by the time winds. River groaned in pain. One hard jolt had her wounds starting to reopening. 

 

"Doctor..." She moaned, her communications becoming vocal and less telepathic now. 

 

He swore under his breath. This TARDIS was too unstable for him to let go of the controls which he was already having trouble with. He wasn't sure if this ship would make it all the way to where they needed to get. 

 

The blood was starting to spill out of River’s reopened wound, pooling onto the floor. Another section of the TARDIS was torn away, and the Doctor could see right into the vortex they were traveling in. Time energy came dangerously close to them, whipping the air around. The TARDIS was doing it's best to try and hold together, moving as fast as possible. 

 

Suddenly, in the vortex coming up next to them was a familiar blue box. The doors to the blue box next to them opened up relieving Ohila. "Doctor!" The woman called.

 

"Ohila!" He didn't have time to ask how she'd found them. "This TARDIS isn't going to hold together for much longer!" 

 

"You're going to have to jump!" 

 

He looked between her and his wife who was still bleeding on the floor. "If I let go of the controls, we'll crash." 

 

"That's going to happen whether you let go of the controls or not. Perhaps I can strengthen the TARDIS's gravity to pull you in long enough for you to jump. 

 

"Yes, do that, but hurry! River's hurt and I need to get her help!" 

 

The woman ran back to the controls, working as quickly as she could, "I think I've got it!" The blue TARDIS started to release a gravity corridor, partially stabilizing the broken one. 

 

The Doctor locked the controls and ran to River's side, lifting her. She groaned at the movement, the blood seeping out of her wound. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, bringing her to the edge of the broken ship. 

 

The jump looked longer than it ought to have been and he almost wanted to ask for Ohila to try to get the ships closer, but then the broken TARDIS jolted alarmingly and he knew there was no time. He backed up a bit for a running start and leaped for it. Their TARDIS, of its own will, moved just close enough for him to make the jump, protecting its child and thief. 

 

The gravity corridor fell away behind them, the other TARDIS falling behind as well with bits flying off it. The Doctor tried to land with River on top of him, not under him as to cushion the fall. He ended up skidding on his back, still holding tightly to his wife. 

 

Despite the cushion, the force was enough to break the wound completely open again. Blood was immediately soaking her shirt and his. Before Ohila could say a word of greeting or concern, the Doctor was scrambling to his feet with River. "Medbay, now!" 

 

The woman ran ahead of him, holding open the doors and helping set up machines. The Doctor put River on the bed. "Can you hear me, River?" Her fingers twitched, but that was all the response he got. "Hand me an anesthetic. I'm going to give her one just in case." Knowing she'd been awake earlier and complaining about the pain, he didn't want her to wake up and feel all this. It was enough that they had lost their child today. He hadn't been told that, but it was obvious that the baby hadn't made it this far. 

 

Ohila hooked River up to a few units of blood, "We have to fix this wound." 

 

"Really, I would've never guessed," he snapped. He hadn't meant that, but he was much too stressed to filter or think very rationally. He took a breath and explained exactly what they had to. They had his regeneration energy as a safeguard, he knew it, but River hated when he used it on her and he knew that, too. She would already be disappointed in him for what he did and he was convinced that she would blame him for the baby, too. He certainly blamed himself. So for now, they were going to do this the way River would want: without regeneration energy. 

 

Ohila didn't speak after he snapped at her, working quietly on what he told her to do. Slowly, the bleeding began to slow. A number of River’s organs had been nicked by the knife including her uterus and small intestine, so they ended up having to put a large number up stitches in her.  _ Cauterize this, sew that, not enough thread _ ... it took them hours before they were done. 

 

Once they had finished, Ohila used the ultrasound to search for any remaining internal bleeding. Although she didn't find any, she could see evidence of River's pregnancy, though the lack of heartbeat told her everything she needed to know. "I am sorry for your loss, Doctor." She confirmed what he already knew. 

 

The remains of the pregnancy would still be passing all week. It wouldn’t harm River, but there was no doubt that it would be both emotionally and physically painful. 

 

He glared at Ohila, though no defensive remark came. He was too exhausted, sinking into a nearby chair. His clothes and hands were still stained with River's blood. 

 

"I'll leave you be." She murmured, turning off the ultrasound and leaving the room. He shut his eyes against the sorrow, taking River’s hand, and putting his head down on the bed. 

 

After another hour, River started waking up, squeezing his hand, "Doctor..." 

 

He lifted his head, eyes red. "Riv?" 

 

"Doctor?" She whispered hoarsely, eyes opening. 

 

"Hey," he murmured weakly. "How're you feeling?" 

 

"Sore." She breathed, lifting her free hand to touch the source of the pain, still unaware of what had happened. 

 

"You've got stitches." He swallowed. "I wouldn't press too hard." 

 

Confusion passed over her face first, "What?" 

 

He took a shaky breath. "You were hurt..." 

 

"Is the baby okay?" She asked, eyes wide. 

 

Any response he had caught in his throat when he tried to speak so he shut his mouth, blinking hard when his eyes started to water again. He looked at the ceiling, then at the floor, then slowly shook his head. 

 

She stared at him, her stomach knotting, "....No....no, no..." 

 

He squeezed her hand tightly, not meeting her eye. She pulled her hand away from his, using it to cover her face. His stomach dropped to his toes, feeling awful for breaking this news to her. "I'm sorry... Rassilon he--the damage..." He stopped talking again. 

 

Her shoulders shook as she was unable to hold back her tears, the hand that wasn't covering her face curled around her abdomen, trembling. 

 

"...Is there anything I can do?" He wondered if she wanted him to leave or hold her or tell her whatever she needed to hear. 

 

"Not unless you can bring it back." She whispered. They both knew he wasn't capable of doing that so he said nothing, putting his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. 

 

"He shouldn't have been able to see its heartbeats. The medicine was supposed to work on both of you." 

 

"We should have tested it..." She looked away from him. 

 

"We did the night before," He whispered."I'm sorry." 

 

She shook her head, in denial, "There has to be something we can do. There's always something." 

 

"There's no heart beats. There hasn't been for a while." He said painfully. 

 

" _ Please _ , you always think of something." She begged, "I can't do this again..." 

 

"I-I..." He didn't want to disappoint her, not after all that had happened today that he felt was his fault. 

 

"Please." She whispered, eyes shining. 

 

"I can't." His hearts were tight in his chest and his voice broke saying those words. She bit her lip, burying her hand in her hands again. 

 

The TARDIS hummed in a soothing manner, neither of them speaking. 

 

"I'm sorry." She murmured in between quiet sobs. 

 

"This isn't your fault." He said groggily. 

 

"I promised you I'd protect it..." She whispered, "It was my plan, it's my fault. William, this baby....they're my fault." 

 

"I should have listened to Milva, I should have double checked the medicine. I lead you right to the capital... that's my fault." 

 

"The baby was my responsibility. It was my job to protect it." 

 

"It was both of our responsibilities… I understand if you're angry with me..." 

 

"I'm not angry." She whispered. 

 

"I screwed this all up. The capital is destroyed and let everyone down." 

 

"The TARDIS said you were angry." She murmured. 

 

"Our TARDIS?" 

 

"No, the other TARDIS." 

 

He nodded his understanding. "The guard brought you to me and... I didn't know what to do I--" He sighed. "I reacted so quickly." 

 

"What did you do?" She asked quietly, staring at the floor. 

 

"What I told the guard I would do if you got hurt, what Milva wanted me to do. ...I removed the Council." 

 

River said nothing.

 

He slowly dared to reach for her hand again. She just watched him, the light in her eyes was gone and she looked defeated. He rested his hand on hers and they were both silent again. 

 

"I hate it in here." River whispered after a while of just sitting in silence. 

 

"We can move if you like." He offered quietly. 

 

She nodded. He slowly rose and brought a wheelchair over, offering a hand to help her shift over. She moved onto the wheelchair with his help, freezing when she saw the blood between her legs. 

 

He hesitated before explaining. "Things will be... passing now." 

 

She squeezed her eyes shut, holding onto the arms of the wheelchair in a death grip from pure emotional pain.

 

He started pushing the chair forwards. "Do you want a pad?"

 

"I can take care of it if you bring me to the bathroom." She whispered. 

 

They headed to their bedroom and he wheeled her over to the bathroom. 

 

"Can you give me a minute alone?" She asked quietly. 

 

He nodded, leaving to change out of his bloody clothes. 


	28. Through Storms and Floods and Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was quiet for a moment. "Well... a lot's happened this week. You saw my planet for the first time, all the things I wanted to show you... and all the things I didn't. We sent our children away. You nearly died. Twice. And now the Capital is gone and we're not the same people we were a few days ago."
> 
> "You left out some things." She whispered, the words coming out harsher than she intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a busy week! Contrat's if you've graduated/are graduating soon. Enjoy!

**Ch 28**

 

The water in the bathroom ran for a long time before River re-emerged into the bedroom. The TARDIS had been kind enough to provide clean, warm clothes for her. The Doctor was sitting on the edge of the bed, lost in thought. 

 

River didn't say anything when she entered the room. She silently went over to her night table, picked a picture out of the drawer and tossed it face down into the wastebasket. 

The Doctor looked up at the nose, eyes wet. Her own eyes were red-rimmed as she stared at the trash, jaw clenched. He didn't ask what she'd thrown away. 

 

"...Do you want help getting dressed?" 

 

"I'm fine." She murmured, her gaze shifting blankly to the wall.  

 

He glanced at the waste barrel and then back at her. "I don't think we should tell the kids about this." 

 

"Of course not." She agreed, though didn't bring up the fact that they still didn't know if they'd be able to get their children back. 

 

There was a beat of silence. 

 

"I can take Ohila home if you don't want her here." He offered.

 

"I'd appreciate that." She nodded, her gaze never moving from the wall. 

 

Ohila was in one of sitting rooms, silently looking at the pictures on the walls. 

 

"Sorry for earlier." The Doctor said when he found her. 

 

"All is forgiven." She assured. 

 

"Been a long day..." He sighed. 

 

"I can tell that it has been. I suspect you have come to bring me home." 

 

"That's correct." He nodded. 

 

"I have means of transportation that will allow me to get home without your assistance so you needn't trouble yourself." 

 

"Oh. Alright. Em, thank for today, by the way." 

 

"You're welcome. I suspect this isn't the last time I'll see you." She pulled out her transporter. 

 

"One can never be sure. One minute you're sure and next... well, you know." 

 

She nodded, "Take care of yourself, Doctor." 

 

"And you." He murmured. 

 

With a nod, she was gone, the faint smell of time trailing behind her. He sighed, feeling that it would be better to give River some more space rather than go right back to her. He went to make tea, thinking about what River had thrown in the waste basket.

The TARDIS hummed warmly, leaving on the kitchen table the sonogram of the baby that River had thrown out. 

 

The Doctor couldn't help but gasp at the picture when he saw it, fingers hesitantly reaching for it like it might spontaneously combust if he touched it. He could understand why she threw this away, but they still had pictures of William and she might want this one day. The TARDIS hummed sadly. He shut his eyes, holding the picture to his aching hearts, then pocketed it and tried to focus on making tea. 

 

Toby slept under the table and the Doctor found Tiber at his feet waiting with him. The kettle whistled once the water was done, filling up the silent room with the noise. He poured two cups of tea, one for himself and one for River, preparing it how she liked. 

 

Tiber followed the Doctor for a short while, then changed his mind and left him be. The door to their room was open, but the bathroom door was locked and the water was running again. 

 

The Doctor knocked on the door. "Riv?" 

 

She cleared her throat to try and steady her voice, "Yeah?"  

 

He didn't bother asking if she was alright, knowing she wasn't. "I made some tea for when you get out... let me know if you need anything, alright?" 

 

"Okay." She agreed. He went to put both cups down on the nightstand, trusting that she would call him if she needed. Both of them needed time to process. Just because this wasn't their first lost child, didn't make it hurt any less, especially for River since he knew she thought of the baby as her last connection to his former face. He hoped she didn't feel like she'd lost him-- he was trying to show her he was still very much here in the sense of support and love. 

 

He lay down on the bed, closing his eyes. 

 

River cried quietly in the bathroom for another hour before she finally emerged. The Doctor had fallen into a light sleep. He'd been trying not to, but they'd not had real beds for a week let alone good sleep. He couldn't have helped it. 

 

She paced quietly around the bed, afraid to fall asleep. She knew she would probably have nightmares and she wasn't ready for that.

 

The tea sat cold on the night stand. The TARDIS was quite aside from the background hums of her engine running. Such quiet was rare with their usually full house, even when the kids slept. 

 

River finally resorted to sitting on the edge of the bed, drinking the cold tea. The Doctor shifted slightly towards her side of the bed when the mattress dipped with her weight. 

 

She stiffened, looking down at him. His eyes were still closed, though his hand had unconsciously reached over to her general area. Looked away from his hand, squeezing her eyes closed. 

 

It went hours like this: just silence and cold tea. River eventually stood, feeling like she had to do something. Just sitting in the silence was driving her mad. 

 

She went over to her closet, opening up the door. Andriod parts were just behind the door, this apparently being one of the places that Ohila had destroyed one of the robots. River jumped back, gasping, the sight startling her. 

 

The TARDIS hummed to assure that this android wasn't harmful. River sunk to the ground, crying quietly, the sight setting her off again and reminding her of what they had just gone through. Trying to help, the TARDIS removed the prices of the robot from sight. 

 

River stayed in the same position for a while, not having the energy to move. 

 

The Doctor stirred from the bed, glancing around until he spotted her. "River?" 

 

She quickly brushed away her tears, "Yeah?" 

 

"Didn't mean to fall asleep." He propped himself up on his elbows, wondering why she was on the ground. "Where's your wheelchair?" 

 

"The bathroom, I don't need it." She breathed, trying to calm down. 

 

He didn't agree, but he didn't try to argue with her. "What are you doing over there?" 

 

"I just....want to get something out of my closet." She breathed, attempting to stand. He nodded and wondered if it would be too coddling to offer his help. She made it to her feet, going into the closet. He watched her disappear behind the doors. 

 

She came back out after a moment, closing the doors and leaning against them. 

 

"Maybe you ought to rest." He said gently. 

 

"No, I'm fine. I don't want sleep." She shook her head. He glanced over at the tea seeing she'd drunk some of it, sitting up more. She sat down on the edge of the bed again, closing her eyes. 

 

"River?" He whispered. 

 

"Hmm?" 

 

"If you need to talk, I'm here. You don't have to, but I want us to be honest with each other, no hiding feelings. I don't want you to feel alone so... I'm here." 

 

"Is there something you think we should talk about?" She asked. 

 

He was quiet for a moment. "Well... a lot's happened this week. You saw my planet for the first time, all the things I wanted to show you... and all the things I didn't. We sent our children away. You nearly died. Twice. And now the Capital is gone and we're not the same people we were a few days ago." 

 

"You left out some things." She whispered, the words coming out harsher than she intended. 

 

He tried not to flinch. "Doesn't mean I've forgotten, just not sure if I'm ready to say them out loud." 

 

She bit her lip, "Then what do you want to talk about?" "

 

Maybe about how we're going to get the kids back?" 

 

"I don't think we should try and get them back until I've..." She stopped, unable to say the words. He assumed she meant until had... passed everything. 

 

"Alright." He agreed. 

 

"Do we even have a chance of getting them back?" She asked quietly, looking down at her hands. 

 

"Yes, we do." He nodded slowly. "I'll need to analyze how stable it is to land where we agreed, though." 

 

She nodded slowly, "So, our chance is good?" 

 

"Yeah. It's good. It's just... em, if it's not safe to land then we'll need to land later than agreed." 

 

"But if we do that, they may not be there." She whispered. 

 

"Then we'll go find them. How far away is the city from... where did we agree to meet them? New Jersey?" 

 

"Pennsylvania, actually." She murmured, "I changed it last minute because I didn't want to risk anyone besides me and Amy knowing where to find them." 

 

"Oh." He nodded in thought. "Well... we can get on a bus then?" 

 

"Yes, or a train." 

 

"We'll get them back." 

 

She nodded, looking down at her hands. He reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. She stared silently. 

 

"Do you want something to eat?" He asked, knowing she didn't want to sleep. 

 

"I'm not really hungry." She whispered. 

 

"Right. You just look like you could use a distraction." 

 

"A distraction won't make things better." 

 

"Didn't say it would." He murmured. 

 

"I didn't say that you did." She said defensively. 

 

"Right, sorry." He took a breath. "So that's a no then?" 

 

"Yes, it's a no. I already said I'm not hungry!" She snapped. 

 

He held his breath and let got of her hand. "I wasn't going to suggest food again, I was going to suggest a movie." He said quietly. 

 

"I don't want to watch a movie. I'm not in the  _ mood  _ to watch a movie."  Her words were bitter and angry. 

 

He was silent. He was silent for a long time before getting up and leaving, his footsteps hardly making a sound. 

 

She moved onto the bed after he was gone, laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. The TARDIS had made the ceiling appear to fade away into space. She did that sometimes for River if she couldn't sleep or had a nightmare. Despite her resistance, River eventually fell asleep, too exhausted to stay awake any longer. 

 

The TARDIS was still aside from whatever puttering the Doctor was doing. She floated undisturbed through space, serene and quiet. 

 

The TARDIS did it's best to comfort the two grieving Time Lords, humming softly as she floated, making the air warm and comforting. 

 

The Doctor, unlike River, was trying to make himself busy with as many things as possible. He was simultaneously analyzing the medicine to see if it'd been changed, running a scan on the location they were supposed to meet the Ponds to see if it was safe to land, filling out a sudoku, reading up on a bit of Zygon history, and playing his guitar as he walked between the tasks. 

 

The TARDIS tried to provide as many activities as it could for him, feeding into his need to be busy. Some of the things were house cleaning activities that the TARDIS usually did herself but let him help out on. Some were just puzzles or things to make his brain think about something that wasn't how worried he was about River. 

 

He paused when the results from the medicine came in reading it over. The breakdown of the medication showed an ingredient that hadn't been agreed upon by those working on the medication. In fact, one of the healers had outwardly said that it would cancel out the effect of the medication on the baby. 

 

The Doctor stared, nearly dropping his guitar. That couldn't be right. He'd checked it over the night before River used it. The Healers had overseen everything, it didn't make sense. He sat down trying to deny the obvious answer. 

 

The Doctor and the Healers were the only ones that had known about the plan. They were also the only ones that had the particular ingredient that had been put in the medicine, which meant that someone among them must have made a last-minute change without notifying the others. 

 

He closed his eyes replaying the events in his head, replaying their last day before the Capital. Before he yelled at Milva, before River got hurt, before he did what he did. 

 

There was one person that seemed to have disappeared over night: Venic. He remembered that. His own words when they couldn't find her, that Venic must have gone over to the Healers. River had noticed,  _ what had she noticed?  _ Pressing too hard. She'd said so, that Venic was pressing too hard during an examination. 

 

Although he couldn't be sure with only the ingredient breakdown, all evidence pointed to the speculation that Venic had purposely altered the medicine. He put his head in his hands, feelings of betrayal and guilt bubbling freshly within him. Why would she do this and what the hell was he supposed to tell River? 

 

The TARDIS hummed, trying to comfort him. "She's the reason our baby is dead, isn't it." He had to say it out loud, no matter the fact that the words shook coming out or that his eyes were starting to blur with tears. He had to say it. 

 

"...Why?" The TARDIS knew he probably already knew the answer. For every friend he and River had, they had five more enemies to go along with it. Not everyone was thankful for what the Doctor had done. Not everyone was willing to risk their lives to help him. 

 

He turned the screen off unable to look at the data anymore. He had to tell River, though he wasn't sure how to. He'd just said that whole thing about being honest but he didn't want to hurt her more than he already had with the other painful truths he'd told her today. That and he was sure she didn't want to see him right now. 

 

"How is she?" 

 

The TARDIS flicked on the screen again to show River's current activities. She was sleeping restlessly, tossing and turning. A worry-crease deepened on the Doctor’s forehead before he rose to go to the bedroom. 

 

River was still tossing and turning when he entered the room, quiet whimpers escaping her throat. He went over to the bed quickly, sitting on the edge and touching her shoulder. She shrunk away from his touch, not knowing it was him. 

 

"River," he said softly, "Wake up. You're only dreaming, wake up." 

 

She jumped, eyes opening. He looked down at her as warmly as he could. "You were dreaming." 

 

She nodded, taking a deep breath to calm down. He murmured something he hoped was soothing, staying put. She took a few deep breaths, finally relaxing (or at least getting as relaxed as she could). He wondered if he should wait or just go and tell her what he'd discovered. It didn't seem like the best time. 

 

"What have you been doing?" She asked quietly. 

 

"Keeping busy." He murmured. 

 

"Oh, okay." She had been hoping he'd elaborate but didn't want to push. 

 

He bit his cheek, knowing that she knew there was more. His hair was ruffled and his eyes were still red. He looked away from her and then back. "I... I did an analysis." 

 

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow. 

 

His expression made it clear that whatever information he had wasn't good news. "On the medicine." 

 

"Oh..." she whispered. 

 

He was silent for a moment. "Someone changed it." 

 

"Changed it how?" 

 

"They added something. It caused the effects to bypass the baby." 

 

"What?" She frowned, "Why? Wouldn't they have known not to do that?" 

 

He looked away again. "Yes. They would have." 

 

Her expression hardened, realizing his implication. "Who?" She was angry now, her sadness fueling her fury. 

 

"I think... I think it was Venic." 

 

"What? Why?" 

 

"She was gone in the morning. She hadn't said goodbye or anything, but she wasn't supposed to be working on the medicine. She was supposed to be with us." 

 

"I remember she was being too rough… we thought she was just tired." She remembered. 

 

He nodded in agreement.

 

"I should’ve gone with my instincts. I knew something wasn't right, but I brushed it off." She muttered.  

 

He shook his head. "We couldn't have known what she'd do." 

 

She squeezed her eyes shut, her hands clenched into fists, "We should have been more careful. We got too comfortable. Too trusting. This is why we cannot trust  _ anyone _ ." 

 

He didn't know how to react to that. There were of course still people they trusted, like her parents, their friends, she was right about having gotten comfortable. River had always had issues with trust thanks to her past, and the recent events only reminded her of those problems. She had learned to only rely on herself and her words seemed to hint that she would soon be slipping back into those habits. 

 

"They're gone now." He murmured, sensing her tone change. "The people from the Dry Lands, the Capitol, they're all behind us. Gone from our lives." 

 

"I don't care. I'm not making that mistake again." She whispered. 

 

He nodded his understanding, wondering if this applied to her friends and family. She stared at her hands, not speaking. 

 

"I'm running checks on the pickup point now." He said after a while. 

 

"Good." She breathed, nodding slightly. 

 

He decided not to ask her if she needed anything as he was sure she was horribly annoyed with him asking by now. "I'll... go check on that." 

 

She looked up at him, looking like she wanted him to stay, "Oh, okay." 

 

He hesitated at her expression, then moved to kiss her forehead before getting up. "I'll come back with the results." 

 

"Okay." She nodded. 

 

He smiled weakly then went to get the results.  


	29. Beautiful in Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She didn't say anything because as much as she blamed herself, she partially blamed him too. She didn't mean to, but the feeling was still there. Of course, she wouldn't tell him, she knew that she couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's late. Enjoy!

**Ch 29**

 

The Doctor came back after about ten minutes, holding a small tablet with the results. 

 

"Is everything alright?" River asked. 

 

"Em, well, there's a temporal storm in 1938, so it doesn't look like we can land when we said." He sat on the bed next to her. 

 

She stiffened, "So, how much later can we land?" 

 

"Let's see, we said late December, yeah?" He scrolled over the information. "The earliest we can land after that is February 12th, 1939." 

 

"That's not too long after." She relaxed a bit. 

 

“Almost two months." He nodded. "I still hate to make them wait." 

 

"So do I." She breathed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "But the kids don't know when we're supposed to get them, I asked Amy not to tell them. I didn't want them to worry if we couldn't get there on the exact date." 

 

"That was smart of you." 

 

."I didn't want them to worry or get scared." 

 

He knew they would be worried anyways, but more so if they knew they were late. River had told him how upset Terra had been when he was late, so she was right in saving them the heart aches. "They're going to want a celebration. Terra loves any excuse to celebrate." 

 

River nodded, not really in the mood for any sort of celebration. "Right..." 

 

 

"I think a trip to the sweet shop will be enough." 

 

She seemed to relax, "They'll be thrilled with that." 

 

"I hope they've not gotten used to the American sweets." He tried to lighten the mood a bit. "Terrible chocolate." 

 

She almost smiled, "Ugh, don't remind me. The Americans have the worst sweets in the galaxy." 

 

He chuckled. "As I recall you just loved their sweets when you were pregnant with the twins. Butterfingers I think was your favorite?" 

 

She tensed at the mention of pregnancy, any form of a smile quickly fading, "Oh...um, yes. You're right." 

 

He noticed and tried to change the subject again. "The Ponds will spoil them, won't they?" 

 

"I'm sure they will. I wouldn't be surprised if they came home with enough new toys to fill their bedrooms." 

 

"Dear me, we won't have to work so hard on Christmas gifts this year if they do." 

 

"Yes...I hope they don't grow too attached to Amy and Rory." 

 

"Maybe we should look into another candle." He suggested because he knew the children probably would get very much attached. 

 

"Yes, I wouldn't be opposed to that." She forced a small smile. Their other candle had been used up last year, so they'd not yet the chance to tell them of Terra starting school or his new face, but the Ponds who were currently with their children were also years before the news of the candle or even their adoption of Anthony, so the older version they spoke with in the candle probably already knew. 

 

River was getting rather tired again, the whole ordeal of the day still weighing heavily. He could see her eyes drooping, though didn't leave again like the last time she slept. He started humming absentmindedly. She reached for his hand, trying to force herself to stay awake. He gave it a light squeeze, brushing his thumb over her skin. 

 

"Sorry." She breathed, her eyes closing. 

 

"What for, love?" 

 

"The baby." 

 

"Not your fault." He whispered. 

 

"It feels like it is." 

 

"I know. It feels like it's my fault, too."She opened her eyes to look at him again, just wishing for a moment that it would be his former face. "Maybe we're both wrong." He said softly. "Or not, but there's no need to apologize because I don't blame you." 

 

She didn't say anything because as much as she blamed herself, she partially blamed him too. She didn't mean to, but the feeling was still there. Of course, she wouldn't tell him, she knew that she couldn't. There would be a lot of things she would probably end up keeping to herself: the painful reminders of the past that this new loss brought back, the fresh wave of anger she felt towards him for going to Gallifrey in the first place, the feeling like she had lost his former face all over again when she lost their baby, which they both knew she saw as her last connection to him. She kept all these feelings to herself, simply nodding in response to his words. 

 

He pressed a kiss to her palm. She closed her eyes again. They lay there in silence for a long time. River eventually fell back to sleep, holding his hand tightly. 

 

The whole of the next day was spent more quietly than the previous one. They didn't do much talking, but simple touches did enough communication for them. They ate small amounts of food, neither of them having a huge appetite. The Doctor was still fidgety, playing more sudoku and guitar throughout the day to keep his hands busy. Neither could bring themselves to give much attention to the pets. 

 

They were sitting in the library, River listening to the Doctor playing his guitar when it started. He didn't notice at first because she didn't say anything, but eventually, he noticed a grimace. "You alright?" 

 

"Cramps." She whispered, clutching onto the arm of the chair. 

 

He reached out to offer his hand to squeeze. "Do you want something for it?" 

 

"I can handle it." She declined the hand, "Keep playing." 

 

"If you say so." He nodded and went back to strumming. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to focus on the music. He was playing something from mid-55th-century Kroerer, a common tune that wasn't particularly meaningful but had complex chords. 

 

She opened her eyes, watching his fingers as another distraction. The sounds he was trying to recreate were usually made on a different string instrument, he had to try to supplement by a number of non-traditional tricks. 

 

Worriedly, his strumming slowed to observe her. She didn't really notice, her eyes closed again. He opened his mouth to ask, but the TARDIS hummed at him to not pry, so he continued to play and hum. 

 

This continued on for about an hour, River seemingly growing more upset. It wasn't unnoticed and the Doctor wished he could do more to make her less uncomfortable. 

 

"You said you had something to make the cramps better?" She asked eventually. 

 

He nodded. "Yes. It's something like naproxen-- space naproxen. No terrestrial ingredients." 

 

"Can you give some to me?" She asked. 

 

"I'll go get it." He put his guitar down, wondering how much pain she was in to change her mind about having something to relieve it. She waited for him to return, holding onto the chair. In reality, the pain hadn't gotten that much worse, it was the idea of why the pain was happening that had become unbearable. She hoped that by numbing the physical pain, it would dull the emotional pain too. 

 

He came back with a glass of water and a few pills in hand. 

 

"Thank you." She took the pills without hesitation, downing the water. 

 

He sat back where he'd been, taking the guitar again. "Should take ten minutes to kick in." She nodded, reaching for his hand. He gave it to her willingly.she took slow breaths slow breaths until the medicine kicked in. "It'll last four hours, so let me know if you want more then." 

 

"I will." She nodded. 

 

After a while more of sitting, he moved to be next to her, then started playing again. They did this for a few hours, River later agreeing to organize the library as a way to keep busy. He went to make dinner as she did that. 

 

The library task was a welcome distraction to her mind and she submitted to the activity. After a while, the Doctor came back. "Dinner's ready." 

 

She stood, rubbing her back. "What did you make?" 

 

"Chicken and potatoes with a bit of salad." 

 

"Sounds good." She smiled softly. He smiled back, the two of them walking to the kitchen. She sat down at the table in the kitchen, looking at the food on the table. "It looks good." 

 

"Thank you." He handed her a plate for her to fill for herself. She put a bit of food on her plate, taking small bites. His plate wasn't much more filled than hers. Neither of them had been very hungry all day, the stress affecting them. 

 

Dinner was quiet aside for the occasional thought said aloud that triggered a small bit of conversation. 

 

River didn't seem to really know what to do with herself after eating and washing all the dishes. The Doctor suggested the library again, saying he was going to go back there himself. She agreed to go with him, following quietly behind. 

 

The TARDIS provided some stacks of books for River to organize as a distraction. She got to work on the books, re-shelving and organizing them. The Doctor played more music as she busied herself, the sound filling the tense silence. 

 

They spent most of the rest of the day doing this, just trying to keep their minds off of everything. They didn't talk when the retired to bed, though fell asleep holding onto each other's hands. 

 

River woke up early in the morning feeling a bit nauseous with cramps a bit stronger than before. The TARDIS had placed some pain killers and water on the nightstand in case she wanted some, and she'd started a hot bath for her. 

 

River didn't take the painkillers just yet, instead opting for the bath. She slipped into the bathroom, taking off her clothes and sinking into the steaming water, leaving the door to their bedroom open so the Doctor could see her from the bed if he woke. The water, while relaxing, revealed easily what was happening. Her stitches were dark and contrasting on the still red and sensitive skin of her injury. The water closer to her legs was growing tinted red. 

 

River closed her eyes, gripping the sides of the tub, trying not to think about what was going on. The TARDIS provided quiet, instrumental music and River's favorite soaps. She was trying to relax, but the sight had shaken her and she felt paralyzed. 

 

The Doctor soon woke up noticing her absence and the semi-open bathroom door. "River?" 

 

"Yeah?" She opened her eyes, his voice drawing her out of her head. 

 

He sat up, rubbing his eyes. "How long have you been up?" 

 

"I don't know." She breathed, shifting in the water, "I haven't been keeping track."  

 

"Have you had breakfast yet? I can make something." 

 

"I'm not really hungry." She whispered. 

 

"Alright." He was starting to close his eyes again. "Shout if you need anything." 

 

She closed her eyes as well, the TARDIS making the water a bit warmer.  As the Doctor fell back asleep, the ship switched the music to some songs that the hearing kids liked to listen to after school. River started falling asleep as well, the warm water relaxing her enough to do so. The TARDIS dimmed the lights for her. Sleep came easily once the lights were lowered. The ship made sure the water level lowered when she nodded off, keeping it warm for her comfort. 

 

She woke up after another hour. Her sleep had been surprisingly dream-less, perhaps her mind was too tired to conjure anything up. The water was darker than when she first got in, and to her horror, there were bits of tissue in the water as well. She quickly moved to drain the water, moving out of the tub and into the shower to rinse off the dirty water. 

 

The TARDIS had stopped the music by this point. More tissue was coming away with the blood. It happened when she showered on her periods, but passing bits of what was once her baby, while biologically was just one very heavy period, was emotionally very much not. 

 

Once she was rinsed off, she stopped out of the shower, wrapping a warm towel around herself and getting dressed. It was still rather early in the morning and she figured her husband was still asleep. 

 

The bed was empty when she came out of the bathroom. She threw on a warm sweater, the TARDIS feeling a bit chilly, "Doctor?" There was no immediate answer, whatever room he was in too far for her voice to carry. 

 

She frowned, wondering the halls, calling his name every so often. Eventually, he responded with an, "over here," from behind one of the doors she passed. 

 

She turned around, stopping in front of the door, "Can I come in?" 

 

"Yes." 

 

She entered the room, "Are you alright?" 

 

He was semi--dressed, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and lying on a large blob of cushion that was roughly shaped like a couch. He held a coffee in his hands, staring up at the ceiling which was patterned like a massive star chart. 

 

"Doctor?" She repeated, staying in the doorway. He glanced over at her, regarding her with a nod and a slight lift of his coffee mug. "Do you need anything?" She asked softly, wrapping the sweater tighter around her body. 

 

"Company would be nice." He murmured. She hesitated, then entered the room, sitting down on the edge of one of the cushions. "You look cold." He observed.

 

"It's cold in here." She nodded, "Are you not cold?" 

 

"A bit." He shrugged. "Coffee's warm." 

 

"That's new..." She murmured, "Coffee..."  

 

"Is it?" 

 

"You didn't ever really drink coffee before." She nodded. 

 

"Oh. New taste buds, I guess." 

 

"I guess so." She nodded, "How long have you been up?" 

 

"Not long. You looked like you were enjoying your bath." 

 

"I fell asleep." She hummed. 

 

"You got up pretty early." 

 

"The cramps woke me up." She murmured.  

 

"Did you take something for them?" 

 

"No, the bath helped. They've died down a bit now." 

 

"That's good." He murmured. She nodded again, growing quiet. 

 

They stared up at the ceiling. There were thin, glowing lines connecting some of the stars and galaxies. River stared at the stars, watching as they twinkled, "Is this room new?" She asked quietly. 

 

"Ish. Think we've had it for a few years."

 

She nodded slowly, "I don't think I've been in here before." 

 

"I've only been a few times. I think the lines," he gestured up with his index finger, "are our path." 

 

"Oh." She looked up at them with new interest, studying the "map." 

 

"I'm not quite sure what order it's going in." 

 

"It looks like something Amelia and Freya would be interested in." 

 

He hummed in agreement. "I'll show it to them." 

 

"They'll be thrilled." She smiled. While the kids all appreciated tales from their past, the twins had always shown more interest in their parents' full story than the other children. 

 

River looked back at the map, watching the lines and sparkles. They sat there for a long while, quietly studying the map. 

 

"Are you hungry?" She asked quietly. 

 

"A bit." He replied. 

 

"I'll make breakfast." She offered. 

 

"Want help?"

 

"If you want to help." She nodded. He went with her to the kitchen where two of the cats were waiting in front of their food bowls. 

 

"Hello." River murmured to the animals, feeding them first. Tiber and Samantha eagerly devoured their breakfast as the Doctor peered into the fridge. 

 

"What are you in the mood for?"  

 

"Anything will do." She stood beside him, looking into the fridge. She still didn't have much of an appetite, only eating because she knew she should rather than because she was hungry. 

 

He pulled out a few eggs and some bread for toast. "I can make the eggs." She held out her hand to take them. He passed them over, putting the bread in the toaster. She pulled out a pan, starting on making scrambled eggs. 

 

They sat down, eating breakfast quietly. 


	30. A Crack in the Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Anything you need?" He'd tried to avoid that sort of question since they got back, feeling that it annoyed her to ask it. He'd been doing okay going off non-verbal cues for needing space or company, but she was so distant at the moment that he was having trouble knowing which to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the weekend is here. I still have two (2) more weeks of school ;_;   
> Enjoy.

**Ch 30**

 

Breakfast went about in the same manner it had been for the past several days: the two ate in silence for the most part aside from an occasional comment on the food. The day continued like that, the Doctor messing with the wire beneath the console and reading. 

 

Toby bothered River for a walk in the afternoon, wanting the real outdoors instead of the holographic simulation he'd been given yesterday by the TARDIS. River obliged this and flew the TARDIS to a quiet, empty beach, taking the dog out to so he could run around for a bit. Toby was beyond delighted, sprinting around and splashing in the water. 

 

River sat down in the sand, watching as the dog explored. The waves were small, licking the sand line with soft motions and hushed noises. There was no sun because of clouds, but it was still very bright. River sighed, closing her eyes.

 

After chasing a number of seagulls, a wet but happy Toby settled next to River. She stroked the dog's head, figuring they could sit there for a while since there was no where else for them to be.  

 

After a while, the Doctor poked his head out of the TARDIS. River's back was to him, the breeze drifting through her hair. He wandered over to her, sitting quietly on the side of her that wasn't occupied by Toby. 

 

"Hi..." She whispered. 

 

"Hey," he regarded in the same tone. "How long have you been out here?" 

 

"I don't know." She murmured, "I didn't really keep track." 

 

He nodded and glanced at the dog who was pleasantly oblivious to their pensiveness. He deduced that Toby had needed a walk, though why River chose a beach was beyond him. It probably didn't matter. "Bit cold out here." 

 

"You think?" She honestly hadn't noticed the weather.

 

"Yeah." With the sky overcast, the breeze off the water nipped slightly at any parts of them not protected by clothes. "You're not cold?"

 

"Not really." She breathed, through her nose, though her ears and fingers were red from the cold. 

 

"If you say so..." he murmured, though would probably encourage her to come inside soon. She went quiet again, something that had become very common in the last few days.

 

They sat there for a while. Toby eventually got up again and trotted back and forth between his masters and the water. He got soaked yet again, coming back soon after and shaking water all over the Doctor and River. 

 

"Augh, Toby, no." The Doctor said disapprovingly as the dog flung water droplets at them. 

 

The dog wagged his tail, coming over to give the Doctor a big lick on the cheek in an attempt to cheer him up. He gave in slightly and gave the dog a pat. The dog settled, nuzzling his hand. 

 

"Sorry for being away for so long." He murmured to the dog. "Playing fetch by yourself just isn't as fun, is it?" 

 

Toby barked in response, tail wagging. 

 

"Yes, the cats aren't very sympathetic." The Doctor agreed. The dog sat down, putting his hand on the Doctor's leg. 

 

They were quiet again until the breeze picked up again. 

 

"Do you want my coat?" The Doctor asked his wife.

 

"I'm okay." She murmured, she didn't seem to notice the cold still. 

 

"It looks like it's going to rain soon." The clouds had started to grow darker. She hummed, staring blankly out at the ocean. "Maybe we should head in soon..." 

 

"You can go without me. I want to stay out here a bit longer." She whispered. 

 

"Okay... but if it starts raining, will you come in?" 

 

She nodded. He took his coat off and slipped it over her shoulders before going inside. Toby followed. 

 

After a while it started to downpour, though River stayed on the beach. By the time the Doctor came back outside wielding an umbrella, her clothes were soaked through. Her hair was stuck to her skin, and she hadn't moved at all. 

 

"River..." He crouched next to her, voice gentle and umbrella positioned over both of them. "Come inside now." 

 

"Hmm?" She murmured, not having really heard him. 

 

"It's time to come in." He repeated. "You're shivering  and soaking wet." 

 

"Okay." She agreed, though her feet didn't move. He waited for her to do it voluntarily, but when she didn't, he put his arms around her and brought her to her feet. Her skin was cold and the rain pounded against the barrier of the umbrella. 

 

She followed his lead inside, dripping water all over the floor. He brought her to their room, handing her a towel before pulling out warm clothes for her. She stood with the towel wrapped around her, the blank look still across her face. He offered her the dry clothes. "Put these on." 

 

"Okay." She breathed, finally moving into the bathroom to change. The TARDIS made the room warm for her and the Doctor went to make tea. 

 

She sat down on the bed once she was changed, staring at the wall. The Doctor came back with hot tea, handing her a mug. Even if she didn't drink the tea, he was glad she was holding someone warm in her hands.

 

"Thanks." She whispered, taking the mug. 

 

He sat next to her.  "You were out there a while."

 

"I didn't notice." This was genuine. 

 

"It's eight now." He informed. "Something on your mind to keep you out there?" 

 

She looked at him, "Just....thinking..." She lied, of course there was something on her mind and the Doctor could probably guess what it was. 

 

His eyes were soft and his expression was understanding and wanting to help in any way she would let him. "You missed dinner." He said after a beat. "Do you want something?" 

 

"I'm not hungry." She looked at the floor. 

 

He nodded, not pushing the subject. "Anything you need?" He'd tried to avoid that sort of question since they got back, feeling that it annoyed her to ask it. He'd been doing okay going off non-verbal cues for needing space or company, but she was so distant at the moment that he was having trouble knowing which to do. 

 

"I-" She paused, not really knowing what to say. The only things she really wanted were gone and she couldn't get them back. "No." 

 

"Alright. Well if you change your mind... I'll be in the library." He figured that the no also meant she'd prefer some space. 

 

She looked at him, not really wanting him to go. "Okay." She nodded, thinking perhaps he wanted space as well. He left for the library. She curled up on the bed, falling asleep after awhile. 

 

She stayed asleep until morning, waking once again in the early hours. Her and the Doctor’s limbs were a bit tangled up with each other's. She carefully untangled herself, getting out of bed. 

 

Tiber, who'd been sleeping on the end of their bed, stirred and quickly jumped up, thinking River was going to feed him. She went to the kitchen to feed him. The other cats joined at the sound of food being opened, all three of them brushing up against her legs. She fed the cats and the dog, then got to work on breakfast for herself and her husband. 

 

The Doctor wandered in after a while. "Morning." 

 

"Morning." She murmured, just finishing up with breakfast. 

 

"You're up early... what are you making?" 

 

"Muffins." She murmured, setting the food down on the table. 

 

"That's sweet of you." He smiled weakly. 

 

She shrugged, sitting down at the table. He sat as well, helping himself to a muffin. She didn't reach for one, just sitting and sipping her tea. 

 

While breakfast was still quiet, the Doctor was a bit more talkative than he'd been the other days. It wasn't nearly as much as his normal ramblings which have been known to go on indefinitely, but it was something. River, on the other hand, was even quieter than before, only acknowledging his words by looking at him, though she didn't really hear anything he was saying. 

 

"Are you going to eat any?" He asked when he'd had his fill, just now realizing she hadn't had any food. 

 

"I guess so." She murmured, finally taking one, though all she really did was pull it apart. 

 

He decided not to comment on it, offering to do the washing up. She shook her head, insisting on washing everything herself. He didn't try to convince her otherwise, wrapping up the leftover muffins for later. 

 

The Doctor went to get properly dressed. Toby stayed, watching River from the floor. She washed, dried and put the dishes away, then went to get dressed, too. 

 

The Doctor was pondering coats, looking up when she walked in. "I think we should go somewhere today." 

 

"What? Why?" She frowned slightly. 

 

"Just thought it might be nice. Doesn't have to be around other people." 

 

She hesitated, not looking to keen on the idea. He picked up on this quickly and tried to dismiss the idea casually. "Or not. There's plenty to do inside, too." 

 

"If you really want to go out, I suppose we can." 

 

"It's alright, I'm not attached to the idea."

 

"Are you sure?" 

 

He nodded. "I just want to spend time with you, we can do that anywhere." 

 

"Okay." She nodded slowly, "What else do you want to do?" 

 

He paused to think. "...Can I read to you?" It was something they used to do more often when the other wasn't feeling well either physically or emotionally. They both had plenty of memories of the other's voice reading favorite chapters of books. 

 

"I-..." She hesitated, not expecting that, "Okay." 

 

He smiled weakly. "Do you want to pick something out?" 

 

"Alright." She went to the shelf that contained some of their favorite books, examining them. The books contained a large range of genres. Some of them were very thick, some of them shorter stories, and some of them historical accounts. She picked up one of the books, a history book, thin and old. 

 

They settled on the bed, the Doctor opening up the book to the start. She closed her eyes to listen to the words. The book was composed of pieces of a journal that belonged to Aristotle along with brief sections of commentary via more modern historians. The Doctor read with a gentle voice.

 

River stared at the wall, only half listening. He read through the whole book as it was short enough to read all in one go. She was rigid and still the whole time. He rose to put the book back on the shelf when they'd finished it. She watched, her eyes tracing his movements. 

 

"Thanks." He murmured. "For letting me do that." She nodded. Her rigidness hadn't gone unnoticed by him and he wondered if reading to her had made her uncomfortable. "I'm... going to go make some tea." 

 

"Okay." She nodded slowly. 

 

"Do you want a cup?" 

 

"Sure." She nodded, smiling softly. Her smile, though small, made his hearts flutter a bit. He nodded and went to make the tea. She stayed in the bedroom, closing her eyes for a moment. Tiber slinked into the room and curled next to River. 

 

The Doctor returned after a short while with the tea. "Thanks." She murmured, taking her cup from him. 

 

He nodded and sat next to her. She sipped the tea quietly. They sat quietly for a while, during which Tiber uncurled and draped himself over River's legs. She stroked the cat's back, watching the wall. 

 

The day, like the rest had done, ended up being a quiet one. They moved to the library eventually and neither were hungry enough to bother with lunch when it rolled around. The Doctor took care of Toby's afternoon walk. 

 

River sat in the library for a long time, keeping to herself more than the past few days. The TARDIS tried to keep her doing something, offering book suggestions and organization tasks but she didn't feel like doing much, mostly just sitting, petting the cat. 

 

The Doctor made more tea when he got back from walking Toby. 

 

"How was the walk?" She asked quietly. It was probably the longest sentence she had said all day. 

 

"Alright. Went to a dog park." He handed her a mug. "I think he made a few friends." 

 

She hummed. Tiber momentarily lifted his head to sniff curiously at the tea before resting it again. "Is there anything you want to do?" She asked. 

 

"Well... what have you been doing?" 

 

"Nothing much, just sitting here with the cat." 

 

He looked at Tiber who paid no notice back. "Haven't moved your feet in a while then?" She shook her head. "Would you, em, like to dance a little?" 

 

She immediately tensed, "I'd rather not." 

 

"Alright." He backed off. 

 

"I'm sorry." She whispered, "I just...can't." She whispered. She couldn't find the energy to dance right now.

 

"It's alright." He repeated softly, sitting next to her. She squeezed her eyes shut, biting her lip. "You alright?" She shook her head. "Anything I can do?" 

 

"I don't know." She whispered, "I don't know how to make this better." 

 

"It's grief. It doesn't get better, just easier." He murmured. "Unfortunately that doesn't usually come with a tangible solution." 

 

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to push back the pain. 

 

He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "It's  _ okay  _ to need time and it's okay to not be alright. It's hardly been a week... I'm not going ask you to be alright and you shouldn't ask that of yourself either." 

 

"The baby..." She stopped, unable to continue without getting even more upset. 

 

"I know," he whispered. 

 

"I didn't think I'd ever have to go through this again. I thought losing one child would be enough but apparently not." He nodded his acknowledgment of her words. She sniffed, "Why does this happen to us?" 

 

"I don't know." He put his arm around her. "I don't know." 

 

"It's not fair." 

 

"No, it's not..." 

 

"Why do we continue to help?" She shook her head, tone bitter. 

 

"Because no one deserves  pain like this." He said quietly. 

 

"Well, I don't want to help anymore." She shook her head. 

 

He was quiet for a moment, wondering if she really meant this or if it was just because the was hurting. "...Alright." 

 

"We should get the kids tomorrow." She whispered. 

 

"Are you sure?" 

 

"Why? Do you think we should wait?" He nodded slowly. "Why?" 

 

"They're going to need us to be... more present for them. I think we need some more time be able to give them that." 

 

She didn't say anything for a few minutes, then nodded. They were quiet again for awhile. 

 

"You mentioned going somewhere earlier?" She finally spoke. 

 

"Yes, I did." 

 

"Did you have somewhere in mind?" 

 

"Em, just somewhere quiet. Hampstead Heath, maybe?" 

 

"Okay." She nodded, getting up to change. 

 

He followed, "I thought you wanted to stay in?" 

 

"I changed my mind." She was rifling through her closet. 

 

"Oh...Alright." 

 

The shuffling stopped after a moment, her body freezing as her eyes came to rest on one of the Doctor's old bowties that had somehow made it's way into her closet. 

 

"What is it?" 

 

She didn't answer, sitting down on the floor, clutching the piece of fabric. He approached, peering over her shoulder. She covered her face with her free hand, her chest feeling tight. 

 

"River..."

She looked up at him. she couldn't be alone right now, but she would never admit that out loud. He met her eyes then slowly kneeled down beside her. She moved closer to him, seeking comfort. He quietly wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his chest. 

 

She relaxed into his arms, "I'm sorry." She breathed, feeling guilty for missing his former face while he was still right in front of her. 

 

"Me too." He said in the same tone, though his apology was for the circumstances his regeneration had been under. She closed her eyes, shaking. 

 

They sat together like that for longer than they realized, time slipping away. River felt better after a while, his arms warm and comforting. 

 

"...Do you still want to go out?" He asked when he felt her relax more. 

 

"If you want." She nodded, needing a distraction. 

 

He helped her stand. She walked with him to the console room. He picked a quiet day to land on. 

 

They stepped out onto the cool air of the Heath. She took a deep breath, taking in the scene. They started walking along the empty paths. A few birds were out here and there, ravens and pigeons for the most part. She held his hand, looking at the birds and other creatures. 

 

By the route and pace they were going, it would take bout an hour to circle back to the TARDIS. The Doctor started off on a facts-ramble relating to the Heath. 

 

After listening to him ramble for a while, she interrupted, "I don't want to have any more kids." 

 

He looked over at her. "Oh. Was that... not already the plan?" 

 

She looked at him, "I don't know, I guess it was." 

 

"It's not that I wouldn't have been happy to, but after what happened..." He trailed off before continuing. "We have four children. Four  _ beautiful _ , amazing children. They don't leave much room for want." 

 

She nodded, staring at her feet. 

 

"Penny for your thoughts." 

 

"Just thinking about our children." She murmured. 

 

He nodded his understanding.

 

They walked until they returned back to the TARDIS, the light in the sky getting dim. The Doctor went to make dinner. River decided to use the time to feed the cats. 

 

She sat at the table. The Doctor was placing down one of her favorite foods. "This looks wonderful." She smiled weakly. 

 

"Thanks." He served them both a portion. 

 

She ate a small portion of it, humming weakly, "Tastes good." 

 

They managed a bit of small talk over dinner, Toby curling up under River's seat. River offered to do the dishes for them once they had finished. 

 

The rest of the evening was spent in the library, after that, doing their go-to activities: reading and playing guitar. 


	31. Snowfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor tapped his foot nervously as they waited. "Do you think they'll want to see me? Before we left Arthur thought I wasn't his dad..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which they finally get the kids. Enjoy!

**Ch 31**

 

The days of healing were slow and at times painful. Some hours were easy, others hard. 

 

Goods days were filled with quiet walks and quiet conversations, some of them about nothing important and some of them about everything important. Harder days, there was hardly any talking at all and they only left the TARDIS to walk to dog. 

 

They were understanding of each other's needs for space and needs for company, balancing both. 

 

One morning, River was sitting on the floor of the library, a bunch of pictures spread out in front of her. The Doctor had only just got up, having gone to the kitchen to make tea before finding her. "What's all this?" 

 

"Pictures." She murmured. 

 

"I can see that." He handed her one of the mugs and peered over her shoulder to see what exactly the pictures were of. It was a mix of photos, some from the days when it was just River and the Doctor, others from when the children were babies. "Where'd you get these?" He asked, sitting beside her. "I thought you gave Terra your picture box."  

 

"I did. The TARDIS made copies of some of my favorite ones." She murmured. 

 

He nodded his understanding. "Just looking, then?" 

 

She nodded. 

 

He picked up one of the two of them, (his old face, of course,) sitting in some park in France. Whatever pose they'd been keeping for the picture had been interrupted by him looking off camera at something with an unflattering, ridiculous expression. " _ This _ is one of your favorites?" 

 

She smiled weakly, "Well, it's not so much the picture but more of the memory that goes with it." 

 

"If I recall, I saw someone selling bird feed and insisted on buying some." 

 

"You made us sit and feed the birds for hours." 

 

"They were eating right out of our hands, I couldn't resist." He grinned. 

 

She smiled softly, "It was rather entertaining." 

 

He made a noise of agreement. "And the music. There was a man playing mandolin for coins, wasn't there?" 

 

"Yes, there was." 

 

"A warm day, too." He murmured, now understanding her point in keeping the picture as a favorite. 

 

They spent some time there drinking tea and recalling memories. 

 

"I want to get the kids back." She whispered after a while, looking down at the picture of their family. It had been taken on the day that Terra was born. Amelia was holding Terra while Arthur and Freya watched, smiles all around. 

 

"Today?" He clarified. 

 

She nodded. 

 

He stared at the picture she was looking at, lingering longingly at the faces of their children. "Me too." 

 

"I miss them." She whispered. 

 

"Me, too." He repeated. 

 

"We need to start planning then." 

 

"We'll need some money for bus fares and their address." 

 

"I have the address if you want to get the money." She murmured. 

 

He nodded. "Change into something warmer, it'll be cold." 

 

-x-

 

River arrived in the console room bundled up in her trench coat. She looked better than she had in days, the prospect of seeing her children lifting her spirits. The Doctor met her in the console room, ready with his pockets full of what they needed, which was mostly just cash. 

 

They were both still on edge about trusting others, and cash transactions would mean that none of their spendings would have their names attached. 

 

River had the address of Amy and Rory's clutched tightly in her hands, "Ready?" 

 

"Yeah." He nodded. They would have to go to the meeting point in Pennsylvania, so it would probably take all day to go back and forth. 

 

"Did you put all the safety measures on?" She asked, handing him a perception filter. 

 

He took it and put it on. Their faces would be completely unrecognizable until they took them off. "I'll cloak the old girl before we land." 

 

She nodded, taking a deep breath. They started piloting the TARDIS to where they needed to be, making sure she landed undetected. 

 

"What if they're not there?" River whispered as they landed. 

 

He took her hand. "Why wouldn't they be there?" 

 

"I don't know. There are a million reasons, a million things that could have gone wrong." 

 

"Well... let's take it as it comes, yeah? First, we get there, and if they aren't there then we'll figure it out." 

 

She nodded, "Ready?" 

 

"As I'll ever be." He gave her hand a squeeze.

 

They stepped out the doors, heading in the direction of the nearest bus station. It was snowing out, though not aggressively since there wasn't much wind. They were in the middle of some nondescript small town, right on the edge of a park. Manhattan would be about three hours east-ish by bus provided they didn’t have to transfer. 

 

River hugged her coat tighter, walking alongside the Doctor to their bus stop. It was inside a small building. Today being a Sunday, there was a line of other ticket buyers that had to wait in before they could make their purchase. 

 

Nobody paid any attention to them as they waited in the line, nor did they when the couple boarded their bus. They sat near the back, ghost-like in their movements. 

 

"You can sleep. I'll wake you when we get there." River offered.

 

"Are you sure?" He didn't want to miss anything. 

 

"Positive." She nodded. 

 

He glanced at the other people on the bus, noting that it would appear perfectly normal to sleep through a bus ride. He put his head down on River's shoulder and closed his eyes. Even if he didn't sleep, the rest would be nice. 

 

She leaned her head against his, holding his hand. The bus was cold and dreary, the sky grey as the snow fell outside the window. 

 

There wasn't much so see as the bus traveled. None of the cities they knew were very big at this point in time. Even New York seemed small in comparison to what it would become. 

 

All of it was unusually ordinary: the people on the bus, the towns and forests they passed at they traveled, even the two of them just sitting there like an old married couple, even though they were the most extraordinary things here. They knew how the forests would shrink and the towns would grow. They knew how many of the men sitting with them would go off to fight in the second World War in just a matter of a couple years. It made ordinary things seem that much odder. It made the unknown that much more terrifying. 

 

River's mind was on her children, her hearts aching for them to be with her again. This only made the time pass more slowly. 

 

Finally, after what felt like years, they arrived in Manhattan. The bus terminal was at the opposite end of the island that they needed to be on, so they would have to take the train or a taxi. They decided to stick to public transportation, catching the next train they could get. 

 

It was snowing harder now, so the trains were more packed than the bus had been. The Doctor said that it was always this packed because New York was, well,  _ New York _ , but that didn't make standing more comfortable. At least the packed train was a bit warmer than the bus. 

 

River held her husband's hand tightly, willing the ride to be over quickly so they could see their kids. They got off on 96th street, stepping back out in the cold air. "What's the address, again?" He asked. 

 

River shook her head, still too paranoid to say it out loud, just in case. She took his hand, leading the way. He followed obediently. 

 

They walked fast, both because of their anxiety and the cold. She led him into a building, climbing the stairs to the fourth floor, stopping in front of a door marked 4D. 

 

"You sure this is it?" 

 

She nodded, afraid to knock on the door. After a moment of hesitation, the Doctor braved tapping his knuckles against the door. 

 

There was some shuffling from behind the door, footsteps approaching. Suddenly the door swung open revealing a sharp-nosed man with an equally sharp sword. "Who the hell are you?" 

 

River let out a sigh of relief, removing her perception filter, "It's me. It's River." She assured. 

 

His eyes widened and he quickly put down the weapon. "Melody!" 

 

She jumped up to hug Rory. The Doctor took off his perception filter as Rory hugged his daughter tightly. "I missed you." 

 

"I missed you too." She whispered, holding him as tightly as she could. 

 

It was a good few minutes before he released her, eyeing the Doctor. "He really did change, didn't he?" 

 

River looked back at the Doctor, having momentarily forgotten he was there, "Yes, he did." 

 

"The kids said he'd gotten older... is he still treating you alright?" He asked protectively. 

 

"Of course." She nodded, "Of course he is. He's still the same person over all, he just looks a bit different." She took the Doctor's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The Doctor squeezed back. 

 

It was strange seeing Rory young again. Their communications with the candles would be when the Ponds had wrinkles. They didn't even have Anthony at this point. 

 

"Where're the kids?"

 

"They've gone out with Amy, actually. Wanted to play in the snow." 

 

"How have they been? Are they all alright?" River asked. 

 

Rory gestured for them to come inside as he answered the question. "They miss you, but they've been putting on a brave face." 

 

She smiled weakly, walking inside the apartment, "I'm sure they have. They're all so incredibly brave." 

 

They arrived in the kitchen where Rory had been making hot chocolate for the kids' return. He resumed his task and went on explaining to the Time Lords all that had happened in the past few months: how they'd had Christmas together, and how he and Amy were trying to pick up as much sign as they could so they could talk with Terra. He mentioned how they’d went ice skating and the twins refused to get on the ice until they were told that there was no water underneath the rink and how Arthur insisted on watering the window plants every morning because he liked looking out the window at the impossibly tall city. He also mentioned how the kids hadn't been sleeping too well since there was no point in keeping that to himself. He suspected they were worried about their parents. 

 

River listened intently, wanting to know every little detail about what the children had been up to. She asked dozens of questions, asking about any nightmares the kids had, any new foods they liked, and even if they had grown even the slightest bit taller. Understanding, Rory patiently answered of her inquiries and asking a few of his own mostly about what the danger had been and if they were alright. 

 

River and the Doctor chose not to mention the baby telling a bit about what they had faced. It was still hard to talk about, so the didn't go into too much detail. Even so, Rory expressed his sympathy, giving his daughter another hug. 

 

She hugged him back, glancing at the clock. As much as she loved to see her father again, she was eager to make sure her children were alright. 

 

"I'm sure they'll be back soo," Rory assured. 

 

It was half an hour before the front door finally opened. River practically jumped out of her seat when she heard the door open. 

 

"Rory?" It was Amy's voice calling. "Do you have the cocoa ready? We're freezing!" 

 

"Yeah, and I've got a surprise, too." He called back, River already walking towards the entry way. There was a lot of shuffling from entry way and voices younger and less Scottish than Amy's muttering about what the surprise might be. 

 

"Well, it's going to have to wait until I get everyone's snow suits off. It'd be faster if you helped." Amy called. 

 

Rory motioned for River to stay in the kitchen, going to help the children with their snow suits. 

 

The Doctor tapped his foot nervously as they waited. "Do you think they'll want to see me? Before we left Arthur thought I wasn't his dad..." 

 

"Well, they've had some time to think." River murmured, taking his hand, "But I don't know for sure." As much as she wanted to tell him that they would be happy, she didn't want to get his hopes up. 

 

He gave her hand a squeeze, trying to prepare himself for rejection. 

 

Footsteps drew closer, the children, free of their snow clothes, running to see their surprise. The Doctor stood with River, holding his breath. 

 

All four kids ran in at roughly the same time. The look of shock that flew onto their faces was just as quickly overridden with the most joy a child could possibly express in one's face. "Mum! Dad!"  

 

River beamed, "Hello, my loves." She opened her arms to embrace them. 

 

Terra squealed,  practically flinging herself into River's arms. Her siblings followed with equal excitement. She wrapped her arms around her children, falling backwards with the force that they all jumped at her with. She was laughing, holding them tightly, "We've missed you so much." 

 

They all tried to talk at once (except Terra who hands her hands preoccupied with hugging). The Ponds had come in the watch the scene. 

 

"Okay, okay, slow down." River smiled, arms still around the smallest of the four, "I can't understand you if you all talk at once." 

 

"I thought you'd never come back!" Arthur spoke before his sisters could get another word in. 

 

"Of course we can back! Didn't I promise we'd come g et you?" 

 

"But you were gone for months!" Amelia added.

 

"I know." She whispered, "We got back as soon as we could." 

 

"What happened?" Freya worried. "Did you get hurt? Is everything okay?" 

 

"Everything is perfectly fine." She smiled, "Don't you worry." 

 

"Did you get daddy back?" Arthur asked. 

 

River's smile faltered, "Arthur...we talked about this..." 

 

He frowned. "Daddy's... stuck in an old man body." 

 

"Well, not stuck, but something like that." 

 

"If he's not stuck then why can't you fix him? He looks scary like this..." 

 

"He's not stuck, he's changed. We can fix him because we can't reverse a regeneration." She murmured, "And I promise he's not scary. He's still the same person he was before." 

 

While the twins didn't jump to agree, they didn't defend their father either. Terra was not aware of the conversation going on around her still just holding on to her mum. 

 

Arthur had let go of River. "How can he be the same if he doesn't even look the same." 

 

"Have you ever heard the saying that it's what's on the inside that counts?" She asked. 

 

He shook his head, looking like he might cry. 

 

"Well, there is a saying like that, and it means that you shouldn't judge a person by what they look like. Instead, you should look at them based on their actions." She murmured, speaking gently. 

 

He wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve, thinking for a moment. The Doctor may have looked scary, but the man hadn't actually done anything that wasn't an effort to fix what he'd done. River glanced between her son and her husband, hoping that this was a good turning point. 

 

The Doctor finally spoke, slowly and gently. "I suppose there are some things that are different about me, Arthur, even on the inside." It wasn't fair to him to deny the fact, even River had noticed it when they were on Gallifrey. "But only little things. The bigs things, the ones that really matter, that's all the same I promise. I still love you just the same and I'm so proud to be your dad just the same." 

 

The boy looked at him, hesitating a bit before nodding his understanding. Terra adjusted herself in River's arms to observe the interactions of her brother and father. River stroked her daughter's hair, holding her securely.

 

"It's okay to feel like this. It's okay to be upset and angry and scared." The Doctor thought about River's first reaction to his face. While he was sure there those feelings were still present for her, but he also knew she had a better understanding of regeneration than the kids did and knew he still loved her. "You know something? I'm scared, too." 

 

Arthur wiped at his eyes, "It's not fair that you had to be different." 

 

"No," he agreed. "It's not. But I'm afraid all we can do about it is learn to adjust." 

 

"How?" He still didn't understand how things would ever feel normal again. 

 

The Doctor thought. "Well... how did you adjust to having a little sister after being the youngest for three years?" 

 

Arthur shrugged, "I helped Mummy take care of her and I played with her all the time." 

 

"And now you love her just as much as your other sisters because you got to know her so well. Perhaps you just have to give me the same chance, and I'll meet you halfway and try to be the best dad I can be for you." 

 

Arthur nodded slowly, finally starting to get the idea. 

 

Terra, still not sure why the Doctor wasn't getting any hugs because no one was translating the conversation for her, wiggled her way from River's arms and went to hug her father. She hugged him as tightly as she could, conveying her relief that he was back. The other children slowly followed her lead. 

 

The Doctor found himself smiling widely and filling with relief. River beamed, happy to see her family together again. 


	32. A Duck Pond Without Ducks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know," Amy replied in a wobbling voice. "I just hate missing so much. I didn't even get to throw a baby shower or hold your hand when these wee ones were born. You may be older than me, Melody, but there are things a mother should be there for, and the birth of her gran'babies is one of them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiiiiinally done with school for the year! Yay me for getting through that and yay to any of you lovely readers who have also made it through. Good job. I will see if I can start updating twice a week, but no promises. Enjoy!

**Ch 32**

 

"So," Amy spoke, "Scottish?" 

 

"Apparently." River smiled softly. 

 

"You nostalgic numpty," Amy grinned fondly at the Doctor. 

 

"Don't let it go to your head, Pond." The Doctor said though he shared her expression. 

 

"It's wonderful to see you." River went to hug her mother, having been distracted by her children before. 

 

Amy gladly threw her arms around her daughter. "I've missed you so much!" 

 

"I've missed you too!" She laughed, squeezing her tightly. 

 

"I was so worried when you weren't there when you said you'd be. I thought something had happened to you." 

 

"It was just a navigational issue. The TARDIS couldn't land where we originally thought." River explained, "We're fine." That was a lie, of course, they weren't completely fine. The pain of their loss was still present and strong. 

 

"I'm glad you're okay." Amy murmured, though she could see that there was something River was keeping back. 

 

"And I'm so thankful that you've been taking such wonderful care of my children." 

 

"Well, when four little ones come up to you claiming they're your grandchildren, what else can you do? And here I thought I was too young to be a nana." Amy teased. 

 

River smiled weakly, "They've always wanted to meet you." 

 

Amy looked a little sad at that, not because she disagreed, but because she had missed so much of River life. The Ponds knew they weren’t going to go back with the Songs; As far as the Ponds knew, this was their last time seeing River and the Doctor. 

 

River hesitated, seeing all this on their faces, then decided to reveal a little spoiler for her mother, "I promise you'll see us all again soon." 

 

Amy looked surprised. "I thought it was practically impossible so get to us." 

 

"Yes, well...spoilers." She smiled weakly. 

 

Amy grinned the spoiler cheering her up greatly. "Looking forwards to it." 

 

Terra tugged on River's coat. "[Do we have to leave?]" 

 

"[Yes, darling. I'm afraid so.]" 

 

"[It's alright.]" Amy signed slightly inaccurately. "[You'll see me soon.]" Terra ran to hug her tightly. Amy picked her up. "[It was so lovely getting to know you.]" 

 

"[I love you, grandmummy.]" 

 

"[I love you, too, little duckling.]" She replied using the pet name she liked to use for all her grandchildren. Rory chuckled at this soft side of Amy. 

 

The other children went to hug their grandparents, saddened at the thought of having to leave them. "Can we get another candle from Auntie Vastra?" Arthur asked. 

 

River nodded, "Yes, we can certainly try." 

 

He gestured for her to come closer so he could whisper something that the Ponds couldn't hear. She leaned down. "Will we ever get to meet Anthony in person?" 

 

River smiled softly, "Perhaps… when we go back home we can try and meet up with him." She had never actually met her brother, but she wasn't opposed to getting to meet him now. 

 

"But he's an adult when we live. I want to meet him when he's a kid." 

 

"Well, maybe if we use the candle, we can meet him when he's younger." 

 

Arthur looked pleased with this and nodded. River smiled softly, "Why don't you get your things together." He nodded again, getting his siblings to come do the same.

 

River stood, taking the Doctor's hand. 

  
"Give us a call now and then, alright Melody?" Amy asked. 

 

"Of course." She smiled, squeezing the Doctor's hand. She could already feel that leaving her parents behind would be painful. 

 

"Are you sure you can't stay for dinner?" She asked. 

 

"We'd love to stay." River responded immediately, wanting to spend as much time with her parents as possible. 

 

Amy beamed at that, "Well make yourselves at home already. I'll start dinner." 

 

"Can we help?" The Doctor offered. Rory was already trying to take over from Amy since it was well known that she couldn't cook. 

 

Amy shook her head, "You're our guests, we'll take care of it." 

 

"We should let the kids know we're staying a bit longer." The Doctor murmured. 

 

River nodded, going to find the children. The kids were all packing their bags in the same room, having had shared a room all this time; the Pond's didn't have a very big apartment. 

 

"Why don't you come sit with us in the living room, we're going to stay a bit longer so you can finish packing later." She spoke and signed. 

 

Terra and Arthur looked joyful at this, quickly ignoring their packing. The twins were hesitant. "But... we haven't been home in ages." 

 

"Yes, I know, but once we leave, you won't be able to see your grandparents for a while." She explained, "And your father and I wanted to spend time with them before we left." 

 

They nodded their understanding. "Mum," Freya started. "What really happened when you were gone? You just keep saying it's fine now, but _what's_ fine? Who was after us?" 

 

"We'll talk about it later, my love." River kissed her forehead, "Let's going into the living room, alright?" River and the Doctor still hadn't quite decided what they were going to tell the children. 

 

They followed their mother and other siblings to the living room where the Doctor and Amy were sitting. The Scotts had been politely asked to not be helpful with dinner because they had really just been getting in the way. 

 

River sat next to her husband, taking his hand. Terra tried to wedge her way in between her parents, wanting to be close to them. They made room for her, the other children finding seats around the room. With seven of them total, it was a squeeze. 

 

Terra wrapped her arms around her mother's waist, snuggling cozily between her parents. Terra was excused from the conversation for the most part since Amy--while having learned a lot of sign since the children arrived--couldn't sign and talk at the same time very well. She'd been chatting with the Doctor about his new face and other such things she had to catch up on. River, Amy, and the other children talked amongst one another. 

 

"[Why does your mouth look funny when you talk?]" Terra asked. Her father She had noticed his accent visually, but she didn't know why. 

 

"[Funny how?]" He clarified. 

 

"[It looks different. You make words different.]" 

 

"[Well... I have a different accent than your mum and siblings.]" 

 

"[You talk like Grand-mummy!]" Her eyes light up. 

 

He nodded. "[Yes, we both have Scottish accents.]" 

 

At that moment, Rory called them all in for dinner. If finding enough seats in the living room was difficult, it was even more of a challenge to squeeze all eight of them around the kitchen table. 

 

The children immediately dug into the meal, chattering away. There were probably about three different conversations happening at once, the family animated at being together again. 

 

The dinner seemed to end far too quickly. Trying to stall for time, Terra asked for dessert. As part of the celebration, she argued, since this reunion was certainly celebratory material in her book. 

 

"There's a bakery down the street that the kids adore, we could go there?" Amy suggested though it was more directed towards River and the Doctor. 

 

"Will it be open on a Sunday? In this kind of weather?" The Doctor asked. The snowstorm outside had gradually been worsening. 

 

Rory nodded, "They're always open." 

 

"Well, that's some determination for you." He murmured. "We'd love to go." 

 

The children cheered, running to get their coats. Smiling, the adults followed, helping to button and zip them all up. 

 

It was only a short walk away but the cold only needed a minute to get under one’s coat. Everyone's nose became pink very quickly as they started for the bakery. River was more on edge once they were outside, her newly amped up distrust of others kicking in, making her paranoid and protective. 

 

Terra was delighted by the snow, even if the cold made her nose runny. She liked to try to walk of the snow banks that were building up instead of on the semi-shoveled path of the sidewalk, playing some sort of game with herself similar to  _ The Ground is Lava _ . 

 

"[Terra, stay close to us, okay?]" River signed, worried that the girl was straying too far from them. 

 

Terra gave a half-hearted, "[Okay, Mummy]," as her brother joined in on the game. This only worried River further and she shot the Doctor a look. 

 

He didn't seem as concerned as she was. There were hardly any people or cars out because of the snow; 1939 cars tended to not be able to handle slushy roads well at all. He knew also that between the four adults they'd be fast enough to pluck the children up from danger if it came. 

 

"How are you not concerned?" She frowned slightly, "After everything that's just happened, you're not worried at all?" 

 

"Worried about what exactly? Skinned knees?" They were murmuring so the conversation was only between the two of them. "No one knows we're here, Riv, there are no people to be worried about. No one knows we're here." 

 

"You don't know that." She hissed, "Someone could have followed us here. They could easily hurt our children if we're not careful." She looked very worried, the events from Gallifrey had obviously scarred her.  

 

The Doctor glanced at her, the tone River was using eliciting a bit more seriousness from him. He still wasn't paranoid, but now realized that River very much was and that was something to be mindful of. "Do you want me to tell them to get down?" 

 

The Ponds and the twins were now vaguely aware that the Time Lords were talking but tried not to listen since they knew they shouldn't. 

 

"Yes." The longer the children were on the snow bank, the more upset River was getting. )Perhaps she and the Doctor should have spent a few more days in big cities before coming the get the children since River obviously wasn't comfortable in this environment.)  

 

"Arthur, Terra." He called. 

 

Arthur tapped his sister's shoulder and they both turned around. "[Come play with us!]" The little girl suggested, not realizing that her Mother was upset. 

 

"[Actually, it's time to get down now.]" He said with a stern face. 

 

"[But why? We always play in the snow.]" 

 

It didn't snow in England very much, let alone enough to create snow banks big enough for them to climb about on. He had to assume she meant they'd picked up this habit since they'd been in America. "[Because I said so. I don't want to you slip and hurt yourself.]" 

 

"[We won't! We're good at climbing!]" She assured him. 

 

"[I'm sure you are, but it would make Mummy and me much happier if you were on flat ground.]" That wasn't the entire truth of their worry, but he was sure River didn't need him telling them about the real reasons. 

 

The children hesitated but climbed down after that. He thanked them, glancing at River again. All four kids were now in the guarded area walking behind the Ponds and in front of their parents. 

 

"Thank you." River murmured, squeezing his hand tightly. Of course, she didn't fully relax, but she didn't voice any more concerns. 

 

They got to the bakery safely, if not colder than when they'd left, and piled inside the warm building. The children ran up to the counter, greeting the baker who knew each child's name and favorite sweet by now. They hardly had to ask before they were each being handed their go-to order. 

 

The baker smiled at the Ponds and looked curiously and invitingly over the two new Songs. River glanced around the shop, evaluating its safety. "Do you want anything?" She asked her husband softly. 

 

He nodded. "A lemon hamentashen." 

 

She ordered for him for him and got nothing for herself. The Amy got a small sweet as well, but Rory didn't get anything. They paid and pushed some tables together to sit down once more. 

 

As the children and other adults ate, River glanced around the shop, checking to make sure nothing was going to happen. It was a small place with yellow painted walls. There were pictures of bread and biscuits hung up. Opposite the door was a display case of treats ending in a counter and cash register. Adjacent the door, the huge glass windows were frosted over. 

 

River nearly jumped out of her seat every time someone walked in the door, though nothing out of the ordinary occurred. Under the table, the Doctor squeezed her hand in an attempt to be comforting. She squeezed back, looking over at him. He offered a smile, knowing the trip home would be tense for her.

 

Like dinner, it was over too quickly and they all found themselves going back to the apartment. River watched her children closely once again, holding the Doctor's hand tightly. 

 

Terra, who was getting tired, held onto River's other hand as they walked. River kept her daughter close, lifting her up so the little girl could rest. Gratefully, Terra put her head down on River's shoulder, slipping her thumb into her mouth. 

 

"I want you lot to finish packing up, alright?" The Doctor instructed once they arrived back at the apartment. 

 

It didn't take very long since they'd done most of the packing earlier. River and the Doctor helped them check and then double check to make sure they had absolutely everything. 

 

All too soon they were standing by the door and facing a goodbye with the teary-eyed Ponds. 

 

The children each gave their grandparents long, tight hugs. Leaving the Ponds behind again brought back painful memories of Manhattan the Doctor tried not to wince at. 

 

It was one thing for Amy to choose this, but it was another to have to opportunity to bring them back and not do so. They couldn't come back, everyone in the room knew it. The Ponds lived in New York for the rest of their lives and that was just how it was. They would never be lost, the Doctor had made sure long ago to set them up with identities and money. They were living in history and knew what to expect; They knew about the War and the Crash and who would win the elections for the next 60 years. Still, they were missing things. Everyone was missing things. The Ponds were missing their daughter's whole life. They would miss their grandkids growing up and getting married, possibly. They would miss every Christmas with their daughter and every birthday. They had missed her making a family of her own and they'd continue going on missing it. And in turn, the Song children would miss the two humans who loved them so unconditionally at first sight.

 

River said goodbye to her parents after the children had, promising that they would see her and the kids again in the future. She wished that they could stay, but they couldn't. She tried to hide how painful it was, wanting to set an example for her children. She knew they would be upset and would need their parents to be strong. 

 

Amy didn't bother trying to keep it together, sniffling openly by the time she was hugging River. 

 

"It'll be alright." River murmured. 

 

"I know," Amy replied in a wobbling voice. "I just hate missing so much. I didn't even get to throw a baby shower or hold your hand when these wee ones were born. You may be older than me, Melody, but there are things a mother should be there for, and the birth of her gran'babies is one of them." 

 

"I know." She nodded, stroking the woman's hair, "I know and I promise that you'll get to be a part of my life and the kids' lives more than you think. You just have to be patient." 

 

Amy gave a sad, watery sort of smile that said she didn't quite believe the candle could make up for what she'd missed, but she was looking forwards to it. "You keep that daft husband of yours in line, yeah?" She sniffed, pulling away from the hug to look River in the face, cupping her cheeks. "Don't let him go off and do any more dying. I know he could probably kill himself trying to cook supper, so make him use that stupid brain of his, you hear?" 

 

"I will." She laughed softly, turning away before her eyes could get teary. 

 

Amy went to give the Doctor his hug which he accepted a bit awkwardly. She held onto him tightly, whispering to him, "You take care of my baby, Doctor. I know she thinks she can take care of herself, but she hurts just like everyone else." 

 

He nodded knowingly. "Of course." 

 

The train would be arriving soon, and River hoped that the faster the goodbye the less painful it would be. She scooted the children out of the flat, all of them shouting last I love you's and goodbye's. 

 

Soon the Songs were walking in the cold again, all of them quiet. The Doctor held River's hand, the pair keeping hawk eyes on their children. 


	33. Do You Hear the Whisper Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think you should get a job at a university." She looked at him, "I think it would be good for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More after math. Enjoy.

**Ch 33**

 

They made it onto the train without much trouble. This train luckily wasn't as crowded as the one before. The children all found seats next to each other, though the adults had to stand. 

 

"Mummy?" Arthur asked. "Where's the TARDIS?" 

 

"It's a little ways away, my love. We couldn't land in New York, so we'll have to take this train and then a bus." She explained, gripping the Doctor's hand tightly, looking around the train car for any suspicious people. New York was always full of interesting characters which didn't help any nerves. 

 

Arthur looked a little disappointed. "I don't like the bus." 

 

"I'm sorry, darling." She murmured, "But it'll be quick." That was a bit of a lie. She jumped when someone brushed by her, though the person was only trying to get to the next train car. 

 

Amelia noticed this. "What's wrong?" 

 

"Nothing." River shook her head, giving the girl a weak smile, “I'm just not used to so many people being around." 

 

"London's full of people." She commented. London was even bigger than New York, in fact, especially in the future when they lived. It wasn't like they didn't take the underground over there. 

 

"Yes... I suppose I just don't notice all the people in London." 

 

"Why not?" Arthur asked.

 

"Americans are ruder," the Doctor helped River out. "They make themselves more noticed." 

 

"Oh." The kids seemed to agree with this, quieting down. They didn't speak much for the train ride. They signed occasionally since it was easier than trying to be heard over the loudness of the train. 

 

Once the train arrived at their station, River herded them quickly onto the bus they needed, getting them situated in the very back row. She and the Doctor had to sit in the row in front of the kids with Terra, which made her anxious. 

 

Terra put her head down in River's lap as the bus started moving. She stroked the girl's hair, hoping the little one could get some rest on the ride home. 

 

It was too dark out the windows to see anything which bothered Arthur a great deal. He kept trying to enlist the entertainment of his sisters. River listened to her children chattering in the back seat. 

 

She squeezed her husband's hand tightly, "I've been thinking about something." She murmured. 

 

"Yes?" He replied. 

 

"I think you should get a job at a university." She looked at him, "I think it would be good for you." 

 

The past few months he'd had very little to do at home. River would be at work and all the kids were in school now. "Do you?" River had said she was planning on fixing up things with Luna anyhow and even if the kids took some time off, they'd be back in school again soon. 

 

"Yes, I do. It would give you something to do, and I think it would be nice for you to make some new friends. Ones that didn't know you before you changed." She squeezed his hand. "Maybe, it would be best to not work in London at all. I believe there's a lecturer position open at Luke's University in Bristol." 

 

"How'd you know that?" 

 

She shrugged, smiling, "Spoilers." 

 

The word made his eyebrows do funny things trying not to look impressed. "It's a lovely thought, but I haven't got the qualifications for teaching Or the patience." 

 

"I disagree. You do have the qualifications  _ and  _ from what I've seen, I think you'd make a brilliant professor." She leaned in close, touching her lips to his cheek, "At least apply. For me?" 

 

He made a noise of surrender that was something like a sigh. "Fine, for you. But that means I'm borrowing your vortex manipulator and you use the TARDIS." 

 

Her smile grew, "I thought you didn't like my vortex manipulator. You called it "cheap time travel.’" 

 

"It  _ is _ cheap and a nasty habit." He huffed. "But while I'm going a few cities over, you're going off-world and through time, so you get the old girl." 

 

"Off-world?" She raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Shut up. You know what I meant," He muttered affectionately. 

 

"Well, I think the TARDIS suits you better. You should take her. Besides, I've been using the VM for years. Why stop now? It's not like I'm pregnant." 

 

"I know." He could hear something in her tone when she said that last bit, but couldn't figure out what it was. He thought about what Amy said. "How about a compromise?" She raised her eyebrows to signify she was listening. "If I get the job, and this is a strong 'if' mind you, we both use the TARDIS? I can drop you off and pick you up and you still have the Manipulator for emergencies. Or vice Versa, I'm not picky on who drives." 

 

She nodded slowly, "Alright. That sounds like a good idea." 

 

He relaxed a bit, moving an arm around her shoulder. He glanced at Terra who'd fallen asleep and listened to the older kids behind them playing 'I packed up the TARDIS and in it, I put...' to entertain themselves. 

 

"I'm sorry for today." River whispered softly. 

 

"Why? It was a lovely day." While parts of it like the goodbye had been tense, they'd been reunited with their children and gotten to visit the Ponds all in one go. 

 

"Yes, it was, but I was just... so worried about the kids while we were at the bakery." 

 

"You don't have to be sorry about that." He assured. "I understand why you were." 

 

She leaned her head down against his shoulder, "If you do get the job, I don't think you should tell anyone about the kids." 

 

He didn't need her to explain, knowing why she suggested this. He nodded in agreement. "No pictures on my desk, then?" 

 

"None of the kids." She murmured, "Why? Were you planning on having pictures?" 

 

"If I get a desk, yes. How can a man be given a desk and not put a picture of his wife on it? Or several..." 

 

She laughed softly, kissing his cheek softly, "Several?" 

 

"It's very hard to choose, dear, you look good in all of them." 

 

She smiled, "Why thank you." 

 

"You ought to help me choose." 

 

"I can help when we get back." She smiled softly. 

 

He nodded and dropped a kiss to her temple. "You can sleep, you know. It'll be a long ride." 

 

"I don't think I can." She shook her head, "I don't want anything to happen to them if I fall asleep." She murmured. 

 

"Even if I kept my eyes on them?" He asked though he knew she'd decline again.

 

She hesitated, worry casting over her expression, "...I can't." 

 

"Alright." He murmured, understanding.  

 

"Mummy?" Arthur tapped her shoulder. 

 

"Yes, love?" She asked, turning to look at him. 

 

"Are Toby and the cats alright? I miss them." 

 

"Of course, they're just fine." She assured, "They'll be excited to see you." 

 

"Is that other lady still there, the one with the red robes? Terra told us about her and how she showed up at the house." 

 

"No, she's gone." River murmured, "Your father sent her home." 

 

"Oh. Where's her home?" 

 

"It's on Karn." River tensed, "It's very far from here. We probably won't see her again."  _ Hopefully _ . She thought. 

 

"Oh." He looked slightly disappointed. "I wanted to know more about her." 

 

She sighed, "She's dangerous. You shouldn't want her around." 

 

This didn't seem to deter him at all. "Dangerous like Daddy being clumsy or dangerous like when you tell us to play the quiet game so They don't hear us?" 

 

"The second one." She shifted, "Now I don't want to hear any more talk about her, do you understand?" 

 

He pouted for a moment but knew this was her serious voice. "Okay, Mummy." 

 

She turned back, jaw clenched. Arthur settled back in his seat and the Doctor glanced at his wife with concern. He could plainly see she was tense but had learned that 'fine' could also mean 'I don't want to talk about it'. She reached for his hand. Though she didn't want to talk, she was willing to let him help a little bit. He weaved his fingers with hers and squeezed reassuringly. 

 

The family sat in silence for the rest of the journey, River and the Doctor holding hands the entire time. The Doctor carried Terra when they arrived in Pennsylvania, not having the hearts to wake her. 

 

"Where are we?" Freya asked when they got off the bus. She didn't see the TARDIS anywhere. 

 

"We're in Pennsylvania. The TARDIS is a few minutes away." River explained, helping the kids with their bags. 

 

"Do you know all the states?" Arthur asked. 

 

River gave him a small smile, "Of course. Would you like me to teach you when we get home?" 

 

He nodded. "If we drove three hours in London we'd be in another country. How many states away is this from New York? Are states like countries?"  

 

She laughed softly, finding all his questions amusing. "I'll explain when we have a map to look at. Come on." She lead the way towards the TARDIS. 

 

The awake children followed with excitement to be back home and see their pets again. The TARDIS was soon within their sights, the children bouncing around their parent's legs excitedly. The Doctor handed River the key, his hands too full with holding Terra to unlock the door. She took the key, opening the door. 

 

The children were almost immediately tackled by a huge mound of fur. "Toby!" Arthur practically squealed as Toby slobbered all over his face. The dog licked the boy happily, getting up and jumping around the other children. 

 

The twins dropped their bag to pet their dog who was wagging his tail so hard that his whole rump wiggled with it. River smiled, picking up their bags and placing them inside the ship. 

 

"Do you want me to put her to bed?" She asked the Doctor, nodding to Terra. 

 

He nodded, carefully shifting the sleeping girl to River's arms. "I think she can say hi to Toby in the morning." 

 

River nodded, bringing Terra to her bedroom. All three cats found River in the hall and followed around her feet. Terra stirred slightly when she was placed into bed, feeling the weight of Mr Thomas trying to sit on her feet. River shooed the cat off, wanting the girl to get her rest. "Sweet dreams, my darling." River murmured, tucking the blanket around her. Terra couldn't hear River but could feel the TARDIS's familiar warmth wrapped around her.

 

River turned off the lights, beckoning the cats out and closing the door. They followed excitedly, hoping she'd feed them. She went to the kitchen to get them fed, then went to find where the rest of her family had gone off to. 

 

The TARDIS led River to the library where a conversation was coming from within. She walked in quietly, not wanting to interrupt. 

 

The children were sitting on the couch, Toby sprawled happily across the three of them. The Doctor sat across from them and he seemed to be answering more questions about what had happened while he and River were gone. 

 

River stood back, tensing, listening to what he was saying. It was clear he was trying to be careful about his words and he was leaving out huge chunks of the story. 

 

"But... I thought your people were nice." Arthur was asking. 

 

"Some of them are. But the ones with power, most of them aren't very nice at all." 

 

River closed her eyes, not wanting to hear the story told, but unable to bring herself to move. 

 

"What did they do to you?" Freya asked. 

 

"They... mostly just threatened us." He murmured. "We, em, got away before they could really do anything." 

 

River cringed at the lie, sucking in a deep breath. Amelia turned her head at the sound. "Is someone there? Mum?" 

 

"It's just me." River came out of the doorway. Amelia relaxed. The Doctor invitingly patted the space next to him. 

 

She slowly came over, the pain not fully gone from her expression yet. The twins immediately recognized her expression as matching the one she'd worn for weeks after they'd lost William. "Is that true, mum? They didn't hurt you?" 

 

River nodded, going along with his lie, "We made it out unscratched." The lie was painful to say, it felt like a betrayal to the child they had lost. Only Arthur fully believed them. 

 

"How do you know they won't come back?" 

 

"Because the Capital was destroyed." River murmured, "They won't bother us again." 

 

Arthur stroked Toby, not knowing how to process all of this. "If Gallifreyans are bad, does that make us bad?" 

 

"No, not at all. It's not that Gallifreyans are bad, that's not the problem. The problem is that some people from Gallifrey are bad. There are many people who tried to help us and were very kind to us." River explained. 

 

They were quiet for a moment before Arthur asked, "What does Gallifrey look like?" 

 

"It... I'll tell you in the morning. You lot should be getting to bed." 

 

They decided, based off of the look on their parent's faces, it would be best not to argue. The three stood, going to get ready for bed. Toby followed the children out. 

 

The Doctor looked at his wife. "Was that alright?" 

 

She seemed to deflate a bit, "I guess so." 

 

"Is there anything you need?" He knew the mention of what happened, even if it was inaccurate, was still quite heavy for the both of them. 

 

"Like what?" She murmured. 

 

"Tea? Space? Company?" He suggested. 

 

“I don't know." She whispered, putting her head in her hands. He quietly put his arm around her, hoping to offer comfort. "We were so close to getting out." She whispered, shaking her head. 

 

"I know." He said in the same tone. 

 

"It was my idea. The whole pretending to be dead, putting myself in such a vulnerable position, it was my idea." 

 

"It's not your fault. Venic tampered with the medicine." 

 

"But it was my idea. If I hadn't suggested it..." 

 

"Then the Council would have come to us before we came to them and that town would have burned." 

 

"Maybe we could have still escaped. Maybe our child would still be alive." 

 

"If we escaped without confrontation then the Capital would still be looking for us. Our other children would still be in danger." 

 

She squeezed her eyes, shut, trying to gain control back. It was quiet for a few minutes before she said anything again, "Didn't you want to go through pictures? Find one for your future desk?" 

 

He nodded. "Shall I get the box?" 

 

"Sure." She nodded. He rose and left to do so. 

 

A little while later, Arthur came back into the room in his pajamas with Lulu under his arm. "I brushed my teeth, Mummy." 

 

She smiled weakly, "Good boy. Do you want me to come tuck you in?" 

 

He nodded with a tired smile. "Can I have a story, too?" 

 

"Of course." She nodded, going with him to his room. 

 

Toby curled up on his bed with him once he was settled. River told him a story about one of her former adventures with Jack and Vastra. It was when the three had been together for her birthday back in Vastra's time. Of course, something had gone wrong and they ended up having to save London. Arthur grinned and asked questions, very happy to be hearing River's voice before bed after so long. River took the time to answer each and every question, knowing Arthur must have missed this. She promised to stay until he fell asleep, rubbing his back. Toby licked River's hand, very pleased to have all the people back home. 

 

Arthur fell asleep quickly, just as content as the dog. Once she was positive he was asleep, she went back to the library to find the Doctor. He was sitting where he'd been sitting before, now with pictures on his lap and the box off to one side. He'd gone through and taken out candidates for the desk picture. 

 

"I do hope I'm fully clothed in all those pictures you have." She teased, sitting down beside him. 

 

"I save  _ those  _ photos for my wallet." He waggled his eyebrows playfully. 

 

"Oh is that so?" She hummed, leaning in for a kiss. He met her halfway, humming an affirmative. "Perhaps we should take a few more for your wallet collection. Just in case you  _ really _ miss me while you're at University." She teased. 

 

This time just one eyebrow raised in amusement. "Why do you think I visited so much on your lunch breaks?" 

 

"Ah, so that's the reason. I guess we'll be taking precautions to make sure your office is soundproof too?" She smiled. 

 

He chuckled. "Now there's a brilliant idea." 

 

She smiled, "Isn't that why you married me? For my brilliant ideas." going for another kiss. 

 

"Oh, there's lots more reasons than that." He murmured against her lips. 

"Like?" She purred, pushing the pictures off his lap and moving to take their place. 

 

Instinctively, his hands moved to rest on her hip. "You're brave, you're clever, you keep me out of trouble for the most part." He looked up at her, eyes on her mouth. "You're funny and you make even a grumpy, old face like this smile." 

 

"Well, Mr. Song, it seems like you've got yourself quite a catch." She hummed, moving to kiss his jaw. 

 

"I have." He hummed. "I'm never quite sure how I managed it. Must've been a magic haddock." She hummed, hands already unbuttoning his shirt. 


	34. Breathless, Timeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had scars from Kovarian dating from decades back. She had stretch marks from her pregnancies and old burns from when William had tried to regenerate. (Of course, this was a new body from when that had happened, but they'd agreed to replicate everything as exactly as possible.) She had other marks that even the Doctor couldn't remember what they were from, and now the new scars from what Rassilon had done to her. She had fresh burn marks still from the electro-torture, too, but they didn't carry the same weight as the one on her abdomen did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ...Enjoy

**Ch 34**

 

Clothes began to litter the floor next to the pictures and over the next hour, the pair of Timelords found themselves on the floor as well. River was placing kisses on her husband's bare chest, her skin still flushed and tingling from their romantic escapade. "Now there's a memory to go along with your pictures." She purred. 

 

"I think the camera loves you as much as I do," he said breathlessly. They'd taken the opportunity to take a few pictures as River had suggested. 

 

She hummed, "I guess you have some competition then." She teased. 

 

"We all know I'm your favorite." 

 

"Oh, well, you sound quite sure of yourself." She raised an eyebrow, "How do you know that?" 

 

"I think what we just did was a hint." He grinned. 

 

She smiled, rolling on her back, flinching slightly as her hand grazed the scar in her abdomen. His brow lowered just slightly in an indication that he'd noticed the flinch and in silent asking if she was alright. "I'm fine." She muttered, "I just wish this wasn't here so I didn't have to be reminded of what happened every time I look in the mirror." Her hands were tracing over the scar. 

 

He nodded his understanding. "It should fade eventually."

 

"I don't want it to just fade. I want it gone entirely." She sighed, removing her hand. 

 

"I know," he murmured because there was nothing else to say. They knew that wasn't how scars worked, and the only real way to get rid of it was regeneration energy, which he knew River didn't appreciate being used on her. 

 

"It doesn't matter." She shook her head, trying to brush it off now. "We should shower off." 

 

He let it go. "Backing out of helping me choose a photo, are we?" 

 

"Oh...I forgot we were doing that." She admitted. 

 

"Well, we did get sidetracked." 

 

They started re-gathering the pictures, both old and new. They took their time picking up the photos as well as their clothes, eventually settling back on the couch fully dressed again. 

 

River was quiet, examining one of the new pictures they had taken today, eyes locked on something in the photo. She was, of course, looking at the scar again, visible in the picture. She quickly looked away when she realized her husband was watching, "You know, the pictures from today aren't that great. You should just keep your old ones." 

 

"I think they look lovely." He murmured. 

 

She bit her lip, "Well I don't fancy them." 

 

He knew why she thought this, though didn't hold the same disquiet towards the photos. "What would you rather me do with them?" 

 

"Throw them out." She shook her head. 

 

He hesitated, then nodded. "Alright, I will." He didn't really want to, but he knew it would make her more comfortable to know they weren't going to be looked at even by him. It's wasn't like they couldn't take more photos albeit ones that River felt better about him keeping. 

 

"I'm sorry." She murmured. 

 

"Why? They're photos of  _ you _ , you have the right to decide what happens with them." 

 

"I suppose, but still." 

 

"It's alright. We can always take some later. The camera's not going anywhere." He pressed a kiss to her temple. 

 

She smiled weakly, "I guess so." 

 

"Now," he held up a photo of River, one he'd snuck long ago whilst she'd been teaching. "I have my eye on this one for the desk." 

 

"When did you take this?" Her smile became more genuine and she looked over the picture. 

 

"Oh, maybe a year or two ago." 

 

She laughed, "I had no idea you had this." 

 

"Didn't you?" He said innocently. "I do add to the box once and awhile, you know." 

 

"You do?" She raised an eyebrow. 

 

He nodded, handing her another one. "This was when we went to Truxtan Sigma." 

 

"Oh, I remember when you took me here." She murmured, taking the picture from him to examine it further. 

 

"If I recall, there was a concert you'd been begging me to take you to." 

 

"And as  _ I _ recall, you ended up loving it." 

 

He chuckled, "Only because you were there with me." 

 

"Oh stop." She laughed softly. 

 

"It's true." 

 

"I don't doubt it." She smiled. 

 

"So, what do you think then? Are these worthy of the eyes of my potential students?" 

 

"Yes, I suppose they are." She smiled, handing the pictures back. 

 

He took them, a third photo in his hands. It was a close-up of her face, the location and time of the photo nondescript. Her hair was down and she was giving a soft smile to something slightly off camera. 

 

"What's that one?" She asked, noticing the third picture. 

 

"Part of the top choices." He murmured. "Does it have your approval as well?" 

 

"Yes, it does." She smiled softly. 

 

"Ah, good. I only have one frame, so I'll have to rotate them. How about that shower, then?" 

 

"Sounds lovely." She stood, taking his hand. 

 

They washed each other off in the shower, getting their pajamas on afterward. River hesitated a bit when it came to getting re-dressed, once again bothered by the scar on her skin. The Doctor offered to re-bandage the injury. 

 

"What's rebandaging going to do?" River murmured, "It's a scar, it's not going to heal." River had many scars on her body. She had scars from Kovarian dating from decades back. She had stretch marks from her pregnancies and old burns from when William had tried to regenerate. (Of course, this was a new body from when that had happened, but they'd agreed to replicate everything as exactly as possible.) She had other marks that even the Doctor couldn't remember what they were from, and now the new scars from what Rassilon had done to her. She had fresh burn marks still from the electro-torture, too, but they didn't carry the same weight as the one on her abdomen did. 

 

"That's true, but I was concerned that the stitching was still sensitive." 

 

"It's fine." She sighed, her fingers sliding over the mark one more time before covering it up with her nightgown. 

 

"The stitching can come out in a few days if it's healing well." He reminded, though wasn't sure why since they both knew that already. She nodded, crawling into bed. He hesitated, looking towards the door. "Do you mind if I check on the kids?" 

 

"Go ahead." She nodded. He murmured something about being quick before exiting. 

 

He went to check on Terra first, the girl sound asleep and cuddling with Toby in her bed. The Doctor relaxed as he looked over the two. He'd had the feeling that something would be wrong, though he was starting to think it was just due to the anxiety of being separated from the kids for so long. 

 

He went to Arthur next. Arthur was also sound asleep, nothing appearing to be wrong. The Doctor could see the space where the dog had been sleeping before moving to Terra's room. He smiled weakly at his son, moving on to the twins.  

 

The twins' door was slightly ajar, a faint light coming from their room. Curiously, the Doctor approached and peered into the room. Amelia was sitting on her bed, reading, flashlight in hand. He broke the silence. "You should be sleeping, you know." 

 

She jumped, looking up at him with a startled expression. "Sorry." She clicked off the light, tossing the book on the floor, "I couldn't fall asleep." 

 

"Something wrong?" 

 

"I miss Grandmum and Granddad." She murmured. 

 

He moved to sit on the edge of her bed. Freya had already gone to sleep, so they kept their voices low. "You spent a long time with them." 

 

She nodded, "Now we won't see them again." 

 

"Perhaps not in person, no. But with the candle, you can." 

 

"But it won't be the same." 

 

He nodded sympathetically. "I'm afraid not, but it's all we have." 

 

She sighed, "I know." 

 

There was silence for a moment. "Did they ever tell you how they got stuck in New York?" 

 

She nodded, "They told me and Freya." 

 

Another beat of silence. "I'm sorry you're missing them, and I know I can't bring them here, but is there anything that might make you feel better?" 

 

She shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe if we get the candle soon, that would help." 

 

"I'll talk to your mother about it." He agreed. "We were thinking of meeting your uncle, Anthony. He's still around when we live." 

 

She nodded, "I'd like to meet him." 

 

He smiled at that and kissed her forehead. "Good." 

 

"Goodnight." She whispered, now feeling like she might be able to fall asleep. 

 

"Goodnight, little star." He murmured back. He tucked her in before leaving even though she sometimes complained she was too old for tucking in; She'd be fourteen in just a few months. She fell asleep easily, not complaining this time. 

 

He walked back to his own bedroom feeling more at ease about the well-being of the children. When he arrived back, River was gone and the room was empty. 

 

"River?" He called, frowning. Samantha was on the bed, looking at him with mild irritation he when said River's name. River didn't answer, his call only met with silence. His worry was returning and he moved to check the bathroom. 

 

Though the bathroom was empty, some of the drawers were askew and there was blood on the counter and the floor. The Doctor's stomach lurched at the sight of it and he quickly ran towards the medbay, hoping River had gone there. 

 

There was blood on the door of the medbay as well when he got there. He could see immediately that this stain was roughly in the shape a hand grabbing the doorway. He hurried inside. "River?" 

 

She was digging through one of the drawers, blood running down her arm. He wasted no time closing the distance between them. "River, what happened? What's going on?" 

 

"I'm fine." She shook her head, "I just knicked myself on something. I can fix it." She murmured. 

 

He his first questions was how could she have cut herself lying in bed, but decided it to ask when later when everything was under control. "Let me help. You've got blood everywhere, let me help you." 

 

She shook her head, "I can do it myself, it's fine." She had finally found a bandage. 

 

"You've got one good hand and I've got two." He insisted. 

 

"I said I'm fine!" She raised her voice this time. 

 

He took a step back out of surprise. A drop of her blood landed on the floor, deafening in the sudden silence. After a few beats, he asked in a quieter tone, "What happened?" 

 

She started the process of irrigating the wound, "It doesn't matter." 

 

"Of course it matters." He whispered. She didn't respond, starting to wrap the cut. "River..." He held his breath as if to stall the next question he had, though it came out anyways. "Did you do this on purpose?" 

 

"No! Of course not." She glared at him, "Why would I do this on purpose." 

 

A million reasons came to mind, though he voiced none of them. "Be honest, please. What happened?" 

 

"Why does it matter?" She shook her head. 

 

"Because I'm concerned about you and that's a lot of blood for something ‘unimportant.’" 

 

"I didn't do it to myself." She snapped, "Isn't that enough?" 

 

This time he did his best not to flinch, backing off finally. He still had questions, but asking them now was clearly not getting him anywhere. "You're bleeding through you bandages." 

 

She let out something like a growl and went to get a new bandage. 

 

"You need stitches." 

 

"I don't need stitches, it's not that bad." She hissed. 

 

He watched her adjust the bandage, trying to deduct what he could from the site of the cut. "It looks like... three inches. And deep." He didn't know for sure the depth, but he guessed by the level of bleeding it went down to at least the muscle. "That's stitch worthy." 

 

"I don't think so." She muttered, "It's fine." 

 

He sighed, "River what's wrong?” 

 

"What's wrong is that you won't leave me alone!" She snapped. 

 

He closed his eyes, took a breath, and opened them again with a patient and eerily kind expression. He said calmly, "Well if you have this under control, I'll be in bed." 

 

"No! No, you don't get to take that tone with me." She hissed, eyes narrowing. 

 

"And yelling at me is any better?" He questioned, still keeping level. "I'm trying to figure out what happened between "I'll be right back" and finding blood all over the bathroom." 

 

"I wouldn't be snapping if you had listened to my request to be alone in the first place." She glared. 

 

"Well by all means then, excuse my concern." He said sarcastically.

 

"I told you that I was handling it." She turned her back to him, going back to fixing her wound. 

 

He instinctively wanted to reach out and touch her shoulder, but stopped himself, instead squaring himself and going back to the room. He went to the bathroom to clean up the blood and to check around to see if there was a sign about how River had gotten hurt. 

 

There were droplets of blood visible on the floor, leading under the bed. He followed the trail, peering under the bed. There was more blood under the bed, the most dripping from a short point on the underside of the bed frame where a piece of the mattress support had apparently cracked. He realized she must've been reaching for something and gotten snagged on the wood. 

 

He glanced around to see what she was looking for. There was a familiar plain looking journal lodged under one of the slats, not her normal diary, but another book that the Doctor had read before. He frowned, recognizing it as the diary she'd written in when she’d been tricking King Philip. He remembered it twice, the timelines still confusing, but his real question was why she needed it and why she was keeping it in such a secretive place. Reading it, however, he was still hesitant to do. The diary looked more worn than the last time he had seen it. 

 

He swallowed and put it back under the bed. He had a feeling the there were new entries which possibly included her feelings about his regenerating. Or other things that were much too personal to read without her permission. 

 

The door began to creak open. He quickly moved back to the bathroom, looking like he'd been cleaning. River stepped back into the room, sitting down on the bed with a sigh. The bandage on her arm wasn't much better than before, she hadn't taken his advice and stitched it up. 

 

He quietly emerged from the bathroom, glancing at her. Her back was to him and her head was in her unharmed hand. "River?" 

 

"Yes?" She looked up.  

 

"Sorry for...not listening." 

 

She didn't answer, looking away again. He moved to get into bed, both of them silently opting for sleep. 

 

Before he could fall asleep, the door opened again. The Doctor lifted his head to see who had opened it, or if it was just one of the pets. Terra stumbled in, followed by the dog. He sat up more properly. "[What are you doing out of bed, sweetheart?]" 

 

"[Bad dream.]" She tried to crawl up onto the bed.  

 

He offered a hand up, Toby staying on the floor. "[I'm sorry, dearie. What happened?]" 

 

"[There was a monster and it ate you.]" She sniffed. 

 

River got up and grabbed a long sleeve robe, putting it on to hide the bandage. 

 

"[That sounds terrible.]" He sympathized. "[But I can assure you I'm just fine. No monsters are in the TARDIS.]" 

 

Terra nodded, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back, glancing at River. River was watching silently, her wounded arm hanging limply in her lap. 

 

Terra looked at her mother. "[You were there, too. You tried to help Daddy, but people in red robes came and took you away.]" 

 

"[We're right here. I promise we're not going anywhere.]" River assured. Terra reached her hand out to her mother from the Doctor's arm, wanting her comfort as well. River took her daughter's hand, moving closer to her. "[Can I sleep here tonight?]" She asked. 

 

"[Of course my love]." She nodded. Terra patted the bed for Toby to come up, too. 

 

The dog rose, putting his paws up on the side of the bed, waiting for a further invitation from the other occupants of the bed. River hesitated, not really wanting the dog on the bed. The Doctor pointed to the floor and Toby put his paws back down. "[Toby has a doggy bed he can use.]" He explained to Terra. 

 

"[But I want to sleep with him. I haven't seen him in a million, million years.]" She protested. 

 

He smiled softly. "[I know, my star, but different beds have different rules. He can sleep on your bed, but on Mummy and Daddy's bed, he can't. And I promise he'll be there in the morning. He's not going anywhere for a long time]." 

 

Toby had trotted over to his dog bed, laying down. 

 

"[Is it because Mumma doesn't like him?]" 

 

"[No, of course not. Mummy loves Toby.]"

 

Terra looked at River for confirmation. 

 

"[I love Toby, I just don't want him in the bed because then there wouldn't be enough room for everyone.]" River explained. 

 

Terra glanced around the bed, noting that it was a bit more crowded with her in it. "[You promise he won't go anywhere?]" 

 

"[Promise.]" River nodded. 

 

Terra glanced at the dog once more before nodding and setting her head down on a pillow. River gave her a light kiss on her head, laying down beside her. The three relaxed into sleep, Terra unaware of the event that had happened before she'd entered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I've decided to update twice this weekend. Stay tuned for Ch 35 :)


	35. Voicemail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The minute we step out of the TARDIS we are detectable. The kids will watch the telly or go on the internet, we'll get phone calls and stares from being away for so long. Even landing the old girl leaves a mark on Time that can be traced. Even if we moved, even if we stopped traveling, we'd need shielding technology the size of a-a king's vault to be hidden."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why two updates in one weekend you ask? Because I have no social life and because I can. Enjoy.

**Ch 35**

 

In the morning Terra was the first up, going to visit the dog and then jumping on the Doctor's chest. 

 

The man jolted awake, staring up at his daughter. "[Well good morning to you, too.]" 

 

She giggled, giving him a hug, "[Good morning!]" 

 

"[You're up early. I suppose you want breakfast?]" She nodded, smiling. "[Alright then, but you're going to have to let me up.]" 

 

She wiggled off the bed, running out of the room with the dog. The Doctor rose, glancing at his wife River was still fast asleep, her skin a bit pale. He frowned a bit, pulling the blankets back to look at her arm. There was blood soaking through the bandage and the thin robe she had on. 

 

He stared for a moment, shocked that the injury was deep enough to not have yet clotted properly. That, or it had nicked a bigger blood vessel than either of them knew. He went to the bathroom to get more bandages, knowing it needed attention. What it really needed was stitches, but it was hard to convince a sleeping person of that. T

 

The Doctor took the what he needed, going back to River. He realized she would probably not like to wake up with him hovering over her and attending to her injury, so he decided to wake her. "River." She didn't wake up, eyes still closed. "River?" He said a little louder, with more worry. Her eyes opened slightly. "River..." He could see that she wasn't alert. "You're bleeding through your bandages again. I think you nicked something big." 

 

She closed her eyes again, not really hearing him. 

 

"River," he continued, getting to his point, "I need you to say yes and let me help you. You've lost more blood that you realized." The wound had probably been bleeding through the night. She opened her eyes again, muttering: "Okay." 

 

"And stitches?" 

 

She nodded weakly, eyes closing again. He got to work making a temporary wrap over her arm that would hold while he retrieved the materials for the stitching. He grabbed things from the medbay, though on his way back to his wife he ran into Terra, who was confused as to why her father was taking so long. 

 

"[Are you going to make breakfast?]" She asked. 

 

"[....Yes, in a moment. I've just got to... take care of something.]" 

 

She was going to ask another question when the dog distracted her. The Doctor used the distraction to return to the bedroom and tend to River's wound. 

 

He wondered why River hadn't just been honest with him about what happened. He wasn't going to look in that diary. He didn't even look in her regular blue one. Just a simple 'I was reaching for something under the bed and I got snagged' would have been better than the secrets. 

 

"Little pinch." The Doctor murmured, injecting the anesthetic. She didn't react except for her eyes opening slightly. With great care, he stitched up the wound. "Why didn't you tell me it was this bad, River?" 

 

She opened her mouth and then closed it, not having much energy to speak. When he was done with the stitches, he got her a glass of water and encouraged her to rehydrate. “Your arm will be numb for another hour or two." He murmured. 

 

She nodded, letting out a heavy breath. He sat on the bed. "We should talk about last night." 

 

"Why?" She avoided eye contact. 

 

"Because I don't want what happened to repeat itself and if we're not honest with each other, then it will." 

 

"What is there to be honest about? Do you think I lied to you about doing this to myself?" She frowned. 

 

"No, I don't think that. But you still haven't told me how you got it." 

 

"I told you that it doesn't matter. Why won't you just leave me alone about it." 

 

"'Doesn't matter' has you disoriented from letting yourself bleed all night." He sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. "I made the mistake very recently about lying to you and I made a vow never to make that mistake again. The truth is  _ important _ . It's communication. And I know you were reaching under the bed for that diary, you left blood on the carpet. I don't  _ care  _ what's in that diary. The question is why you wouldn't just tell me you were trying to get it and snagged yourself. Do you really think I wouldn’t respect your privacy about the diary?" 

 

"Because I'm still trying to deal with what happened." She snapped at him, "And I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be able to deal with it and not have you ask a million questions because that only makes it worse." 

 

He was silent, wishing she'd told him this earlier and avoid the row. 

 

"Are you happy now?" She was obviously angry. 

 

"I'm glad you've told me how you feel." He murmured, glancing at his hands in his lap. 

 

"Well, that makes one of us." Her eyes were burning a hole in his head. 

 

"You're angry with me." He lifted his gaze to meet hers. "That's fine. But I want to help, River. If helping is shutting up, then that's fine too, but you have to  _ tell  _ me that. You can't just scream at me to leave you alone and stop asking questions, that's not getting me to understand." 

 

"Well, I don't want your help. There's nothing you can do to help." She shook her head, "You can't fix everything." 

 

"Not trying to." He sighed. "I'm going to make Terra breakfast." 

 

"Fine. I don't care." She shook her head. His hearts twinged as he went to the kitchen. 

 

Terra was waiting for him, feeding Toby handfuls of treats. 

 

"[He can't have that many.]" The Doctor said, getting her attention. 

 

"[But he likes them.]" She had a bit of trouble signing because her hands were full of treats. 

 

"[I know, but it's doggy candy and too much candy makes you sick.]" 

 

She pouted but put the treats back up on the counter. He thanked her, moving towards the fridge. "[What would you like to eat?]" 

 

"[Pancakes! With smiley face!]" 

 

He smiled weakly at her. "[Alright then, but you'll need to be patient while I make them.]" 

 

Terra nodded, sitting down on the floor next to the dog. Arthur wandered in while the Doctor was cooking, joining Terra on the floor. The children waited as patiently as they could for breakfast to be made, the twins eventually joining, too. 

 

The first batch was served shortly with enough for all the kids to have two pancakes. 

 

"Do one of you want to ask Mummy if she wants any?" He asked the children. 

 

They nodded, though River entered the room before any of them could get up. 

 

"[Daddy made smiley pancakes!]" Terra announced to her mother. 

 

"[Really? Isn't that lovely.]" She smiled softly, going to get a plate for herself. 

 

The other children offered Good Morning’s as Terra pointed to the chair next to her, wanting River to sit there. River sat down beside the little girl, saying good morning to the rest of the family. 

 

The Doctor served a few pancakes onto her plate from the pan. "They're hot." 

 

"Thanks." She murmured, waiting for them to cool before eating them. Terra asked for another pancake, signing away about a good dream she'd had last night. 

 

The family talked and ate their breakfast together. The twins were tasked with washing and putting away the dishes as their chore while Arthur was assigned to feed the animals. 

 

"[Can we go back to the house today?]" Terra asked her mum. 

 

"[Yes, I suppose so.]" She nodded, "[But I have to talk with your father about it first.]" Terra nodded, going off the get dressed. "Can we speak in the other room?" River murmured to the Doctor. 

 

He nodded, following her out. 

 

"Terra was to go back to the house." She murmured once she had pulled him into her office. 

 

"Oh..." he said in acknowledgment of what she said, and then in the realization of the potential issues with that said with less volume. "Oh." 

 

"I don't want Them finding us again. I don't want  _ anyone  _ finding us." 

 

He wondered briefly if 'anyone' included their allies. "A bit difficult living in a London flat. We have social neighbors." 

 

"Exactly." She sighed. 

 

"And the kids have just been in New York for months their time, we can't just land where we left off." 

 

“I know. I was thinking, if we do have to go back, we'll go a few months after we left. We could say we were away because of you...or the old you...died." She hesitated, "And well....we had to go and take care of that." 

 

He nodded. "...Makes sense." There was a beat of silence. "River when you say you want us to be hidden from  _ everyone _ ...?" 

 

"Everyone." She affirmed, not needing him to finish. 

 

He sighed. "The minute we step out of the TARDIS we are detectable. The kids will watch the telly or go on the internet, we'll get phone calls and stares from being away for so long. Even landing the old girl leaves a mark on Time that can be traced. Even if we moved, even if we stopped traveling, we'd need shielding technology the size of a-a king's vault to be hidden." 

 

She sat down on her desk, putting her head in her hands.  He lowered himself into a nearby chair. "They're not going to follow us, River. I made sure of that when I became the Hybrid and stood in the ruins of the Capital. They have no more reason to follow us now that the prophecy has passed, even if they could." 

 

"But  _ other  _ people can follow us. Other people will try to kill our children." She bit back, "I can't lose any of them. We've already lost enough. I don't want to risk anything. I don't know how to keep them safe anymore." She sighed, "I don't know how to let them be free and still be safe." 

 

"Perhaps we should focus on Terra's question for now. Are we going back to the flat today?" 

 

"Do you think it's safe?" 

 

"Depends on whose definition you're using." He murmured. "By mine, yes." 

 

"And what would your definition of safe be?" 

 

"Well, that the only things we need to be worried about are stubbed toes. Not our enemies." 

 

"Fine. Then we'll go back today." She sighed. 

 

"We can figure out the rest soon." He promised. 

 

"I hope so." She whispered. 

 

"I'm going to go let Terra know." 

 

"Okay." She nodded, still not comfortable with the whole idea, but she knew she couldn't put the children's lives on hold for much longer. 

 

He rose, going to find Terra. Tera was busy picking out one of her fancy princess dress-up dresses to wear, having missed her collection while she was away.  He flickered the light to make her aware of his presence. She turned around, smiling and running to hug his legs. 

 

"[What are you up to, my little star?]" 

 

"[Getting dressed!]" She beamed. 

 

"[Those aren't your everyday clothes]" He observed. 

 

"[I wanted to wear my dress up clothes because I didn't get to wear them for a long time.]" She explained. 

 

"[I see.]" 

 

"[Can we go back to our house today?]" She asked. 

 

He nodded. "[Yes, but I want a media-free day. No telly and no internet.]" 

 

"[But why?]" She pouted. 

 

"[Because I said so. We can go visit Uncle Jack or something instead.]" 

 

Her eyes lit up at the mention of her Uncle, "[Really?]" 

 

"[Yes. He'll probably want to see us.]" Jack wouldn't have had any contact with the Songs since they’d left, so they ought to let him know they were alright. 

 

"[Can I wear my princess dress?]" 

 

"[Whatever you like, sweetheart.]" 

 

She smiled, "[Can we go now?]" 

 

"[Well, we have to give your siblings a chance to get ready.]" 

 

"[Is Mummy coming too?]" 

 

"[Yes, probably.]" He still had to ask about Jack, but he guessed she didn't want the kids to leave her sight.  

 

"[And Toby?]" 

 

"[Sure.]" The pets had been cooped up in the TARDIS since he and River left. 

 

"[I'll get his leash!]" She ran out of the room, bringing the dog with her. 

 

The Doctor went to inform the other kids that they were going back to the flat but there would be no screen time today. This was met with resistance until he gave them the Eyebrow Look, then they knew not to argue. 

 

River was in the console room, setting the coordinates for the flat, making sure to pick the right day. Freya wandered in, her other siblings still putting on proper clothes. "Is it really safe to go home, mum?" 

 

River nodded, not looking away from the screen, "We wouldn't be taking you back if it wasn't safe." 

 

"What are we going to do about school?" She asked. 

 

"Well, I've got an excuse for you. I told your schools that your father..." She hesitated, "I told them that he passed away." 

 

"Dad's not dead." Freya frowned. 

 

"Yes, I know, but we can't tell them about regeneration." River explained, "We need a reason why he's not coming back." 

 

"Oh." She nodded slowly. "So Dad's just... a family friend?" 

 

"Yes, for now." She nodded. 

 

"Does that mean you have to pretend to get married again later?" 

 

She nodded again. "Do I have to act really sad in school?" 

 

"You don't have to. We're landing many months later than when we left." 

 

"Oh. When are we landing?" 

 

River turned the monitor so she could see the date. It was early November when they'd left and late-February when they'd landed, the goal had been to keep as close a parallel to the kids' timelines as possible. They wouldn't have a second Christmas and had missed Christmas with Vastra, who hadn't seen too much of the Doctor's new face. Expectedly, they would have a full message box on the phone from concerned friends. 

 

"I'm sorry it has to be like this." River murmured. 

 

Freya sighed, thinking about Ben. "Nothing we can do about it is there." 

 

"I'm afraid not." She shook her head, "I'm sure all your friends will understand why you've been gone. They won't hold it against you." She tried to console. 

 

"I guess so... I can't even tell them what really happened." 

 

"I know." She nodded, "I'm sorry. I wish it could be different." 

 

"Can we visit Sylus soon?" Sylus and their family were some of the Songs’ alien friends. While Freya couldn't talk about everything, she could be more open about time traveling and adventuring with them, as it wasn't hugely unusual for the time.  

 

"Maybe. Your father and I have to make sure it's safe, but as soon as we do, we'll go visit." 

 

The other children were entering the room now. "Thanks, mum." Freya murmured. River nodded, doing a few last minute checks before bringing them home. 

 

Terra was quick to the door, Toby plodding behind her as she excitedly entered the house for the first time in months. She beamed, looked around, then frowned. "[Mummy?]" 

 

"[What is it, darling?]" 

 

"[There's a shadow moving over there.]" She pointed in the direction of the kitchen. 

 

"[Back inside. Lock the door.]" River immediately removed her blaster from its holster, running out of the TARDIS, blaster at the ready. Terra did as River said. 

 

In the flat, there was a sound from the direction Terra had pointed of footsteps pacing and fabric rustling with the movement. River crept quietly towards the shadow, knowing she had the advantage since the figure didn't seem to know she was there. As River approached, the voice of the trespasser, apparently a woman, could be heard muttering to herself in a familiar, slightly Scottish, but very Victorian dialect. 

 

"What are you doing?" River jumped out.

 

The scaly, green woman turned sharply at the sound of River's voice. She looked beyond shocked, and even like she might cry, though Silurians didn't have tear ducts to do so. "River Song, you infuriating woman!" She half shouted, though she sounded more relieved than anything and was immediately throwing her arms around River. 

 

River was tense, still on edge though she placed an arm around her friend, "You need to be more careful. I almost shot you." 

 

Vastra pulled away, hands tight on River's shoulders. "Where have you been? Jenny and I have been worried sick over you and Jack claimed there was something dangerous happening that you were running from and he gave me no details, the bastard, and you wouldn't answer your phone and you missed Christmas..." She had to pause to take a breath. "What happened?" 

 

"The Time Lords." River murmured, "They found us and tried to come after us..." She trailed off, glancing back at the TARDIS door, "I'll explain in a bit. The kids are waiting." 

 

Vastra nodded, still in shock. She put her arm around River's waist, walking back with her to the TARDIS. When they reached the doors, River hesitated. She turned to look at Vastra, studying every bit of her. This was the woman that she trusted above nearly everyone else. The children had stayed with her countless times, she had helped them, taken care of them, even saved their lives. Yet, River couldn't bring herself to fully trust her now. Gallifrey had destroyed even that trust.

 

Vastra frowned slightly. "Is everything alright?" 

 

"Yes...everything's fine." She reached for the door of the TARDIS. 


	36. The Oath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was thinking and I think we should stop wearing our wedding rings." She murmured, changing the subject.
> 
> The suggestion caught him off guard. "Why?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

**Ch 36**

 

Inside the TARDIS, the children were waiting impatiently with their father. River opened the doors, tense and uneasy. Terra brightened up when she saw Vastra, running over to hug her. The woman bent down to hug the little girl, River watching protectively. Her blaster was still in hand.

 

The other children waited for their hugs, the Doctor sliding up beside River. "Everything alright?"  

 

"Yes, it's fine." She murmured. 

 

"What was Vastra doing in our house?" He asked. 

 

“I don't know. Looking for us I suspect." 

 

It made sense to him, so he nodded. "She must have been so worried... we ought to have her stay for tea." River looked up at him, looking very hesitant.  "Or... not?" He added, though wasn't sure why she looked so uncertain about tea with Vastra. 

 

"How do we know we can trust her?" She asked this quietly, making sure only he could hear. 

 

He opened his mouth and closed it again, processing River's question. "I would think the past many decades would be enough evidence." 

 

"But how do we know she's not just...waiting. Waiting for the right moment to betray our trust." She watched as the children spoke excitedly with their Aunt, obviously excited to see her. 

 

"And what would she do exactly...? Kill us? Kill our children? She's known us long before we had children, River. And before that, she was underground with the rest of her people." He was trying to work it out logically for River, hoping that it would ease her more than bluntly telling her she was being paranoid, which he knew would only make it worse. 

 

"You can never be sure where people's loyalties lie." She murmured.  

 

"I suppose, but if she really wanted our children dead, wouldn't she have done it when they were helpless and infants?" River stared at him, obviously horrified by the thought.  He quickly continued at her expression, "She  _ didn't _ , obviously. She  _ helped  _ with half of their births. She's changed nappies and babysat and gave them cats... she's been there unconditionally, always. Her intentions are pure, my love." 

 

She nodded, finally taking her hand away from her gun though her hands were shaking. Slowly, he weaved his fingers with hers, giving it a squeeze. "I'll give her a lift home." Having Vastra over for tea, as it were, seemed too big of a step for today.  

 

"Okay." She whispered, nodding slowly.  

 

After a moment, he let go to attempt to give Vastra his own hug, which he was still rather awkward at, but the effort was nonetheless appreciated. 

 

"You must tell me what happened." Vastra pressed lightly. 

 

"Of course. Kids, it's alright to go in the house now." He glanced back at River. The kids rushed out, the dog following. River nodded slowly, letting him know he could share whatever he deemed fit. He gave Vastra a smile. "I'm going to take you home if that's alright." 

 

"Yes, it is perfectly alright." She nodded. 

 

"Do you want to come?" He asked River. 

 

"I don't want to leave the children alone." River shook her head. 

 

"Alright. I'll be back soon." She nodded.

  
  


"Is everything alright?" She Vastra asked once they’d taken flight.

 

"That depends on what you mean by alright." He murmured, though by that answer it was clear his answer was no. 

 

"What happened?" She asked again. 

 

He pulled some levers on the console and started to explain how the Time Lords had tracked him from when he'd come home and about the Prophecy and how they'd hidden the kids in New York. She listened, shocked by the ordeal that her friends had just gone through. 

 

"Were you hurt? On Gallifrey, either one of you?" She asked once she felt like she wasn't interrupting. 

 

He nodded slowly. "After they took me away they tortured River. They were trying to get her to tell them where the kids were... I had to use regeneration energy to help her." 

 

"That's horrible." She shook her head, She had her suspicions about what had happened. She could tell that there was something very different about her friend, "Is she...alright? Did anything else happen?" 

 

"She... we.... lost a..." He swallowed. "River had a miscarriage… Someone in the village betrayed us, and as a result, Rassilon found out and killed the baby. So... no. She's not alright." 

 

Vastra nodded, her suspicions confirmed, "Last time I was with her, I could smell the hormones and this time I could not." She explained, "Is there anything I can do?" 

 

"I'm not sure. I don't even know what  _ I  _ can do." He sighed. "Everything that's happened, it's really set her back with being able to trust anyone. She wants to move and find ways to make all of us be undetectable." He thought about that morning. 

 

"How long has it been? Since it happened?" She asked, hoping that this was just her friend's way of grieving. "

 

We got off Gallifrey maybe a week or two ago?" They'd been cooped up inside, so it was hard to tell. 

 

"I'm so sorry for your loss. I think, perhaps if you give her time. Try not to give into her isolation too much. I fear that indulging her will only make it worse."

 

He nodded. "Thank you. And sorry we missed Christmas." 

 

"Don't worry about it. There's always next year." She smiled encouragingly. 

 

"Give Jenny and Strax our love." 

 

"I will." She nodded. His bid her goodbye and piloted the ship back to the flat. 

 

Back in the flat, the children were unpacking their bags in their rooms. River was busy unplugging the television and shutting down all the computers in the house. 

 

The Doctor came up to his wife. "Do you want help?" 

 

She shook her head, "I'm almost finished." 

 

"Alright. I'll start lunch. Any thoughts?" 

 

"Pasta would be nice." 

 

The cats began to wander out of the ship as the Doctor made lunch, the children starting to come downstairs, wondering what River was up to. 

 

"I'm just shutting everything down. Technology free day remember?" She reminded.  

 

"Just today, though, right?" Arthur asked. "You'll bring it back tomorrow?" 

 

"We'll talk about it, alright? Why don't you go play a board game." 

 

He nodded, Terra going to inquire what her father was making. River sat down on the couch, trying to read. The house was calm as the twins played with Arthur in front of the couch and Terra helped the Doctor cook. River tried to take comfort in the calm, though her mind wandered. She was now looking at her wedding ring, not the book in her hand. 

 

The Doctor poked his head into the living room. "Lunch is almost ready if you lot want to sit down." 

 

The children jumped up, going to sit down to eat. 

 

"Sweetie?" River paused in the doorway in front of him.

 

"Hm?" 

 

"Can we talk later?" 

 

"Course." The Doctor nodded. She smiled softly, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. He smiled back, feeling warmer as they sat down with their children to eat. 

 

The children chattered eagerly about their return to school, excited to finally see all of their friends again. They discussed that they could return to school the day after tomorrow, the Doctor wanting another day to make sure everything was back to normal. 

 

"Can I have some of my friends over this weekend?" Arthur asked. 

 

"Sure, but maybe just one if they're sleeping over." The Doctor nodded. 

 

"[Can we see Uncle Jack today?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[Maybe not today, my love.]" River shook her head, glancing at the Doctor. 

 

"[Why not?]" She pouted. 

 

"[I want us to all stay here today. I want to make sure it's safe.]" 

 

"[We can give him a call later if you like.]" The Doctor added. River shifted uncomfortably but didn't protest. Terra agreed, though knew that her parents would have to interpret for her since River had unplugged the video-phone. 

 

"[We can do that later tonight." River smiled softly. 

 

When they were done with lunch, Terra roped Arthur into playing football in the backyard as the Doctor did the dishes. The twins retreated to go play a game of chess in the backyard as well. River stayed in the kitchen with the Doctor, watching the children from the window. 

 

"They seem to have gotten right back into the swing of things." He murmured. 

 

River nodded, "I feel bad that things have to be this way for them." 

 

"What way is that?" 

 

"They have to lie all the time. They have to keep secrets from their friends." She sighed, "They shouldn't have to do that." 

 

"We do that. We've always done that." He murmured. 

 

"I know, but that shouldn't mean that they have to." She sighed, shaking her head. 

 

He nodded in silent agreement. 

 

"I was thinking and I think we should stop wearing our wedding rings." She murmured, changing the subject. 

 

The suggestion caught him off guard. "Why?" 

 

"Because in the eyes of everyone in our human life, we're not married. I also think that it may be safer for our children if we don't broadcast our marriage." 

 

"Oh..." He glanced down at his ring. "I... suppose that makes sense." 

 

"I'm sorry." She whispered, "I just want them to be safe." 

 

"No, of course. I do too." 

 

River slid off her ring. 

 

"I still need to get mine cleaned up." He murmured, hesitant to follow River's lead. 

 

"I can get it cleaned for you tomorrow if you'd like." She held out her palm. He nodded, slowly sliding to ring off and placing it in her hands. "Thank you." She murmured, fingers closing tightly around it. 

 

He rested his hand on top of hers for a moment. "...Take good care of that for me." 

 

"I will, I promise." She reached up to touch his cheek. He smiled weakly. 

 

She gently guided his face down to hers. He pressed his lips against hers softly, grateful for the gesture. She moved a bit closer, feeling more relaxed when she was near to him. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his forehead against hers. She visibly relaxed when he did so, closing her eyes. 

 

They stayed like that for a while, neither one of them talking, or really needing to for that matter. 

 

"Do you want to read with me?" She asked softly after a while. 

 

He nodded. "I'd like that." 

 

She turned, looking out the window at the children, a bit hesitant for them not to be within eyesight. Just then the doorbell rang. River jumped at the sound, body immediately tensing up. 

 

The Doctor squeezed her hand calmly. "I'll get it." 

 

"Okay." She whispered, squeezing back before letting go. 

 

The Doctor opened the door slowly, greeted with the sight of three humans: Cathy, Nigel, and William. 

 

"Basil! Oh my, we were beginning to think you were never going to come back. It's so nice to see you again." Cathy looked somewhat surprised. 

 

He tried to put on a friendly face. "Yes well... you too. What brings you by?" 

 

"We just wanted to see if you had arrived home yet." She explained, "We...um...We heard what happened to John and we wanted to see how everyone was doing." 

 

His false smile fell away as sharp memories of his death surfaced. "We're... managing." 

 

"Are River and the children back as well?" She asked. 

 

William chimed in, though the question was more directed at his mum, "Can I see Arthur?" 

 

"Yes, they're... River?" He called into the house. 

 

"Yes?" She called back, coming to the door. 

 

"Cathy and Nigel are here." He informed her, adding, "The ones you introduced me to at the family sports day... thingy." 

 

"Oh." She mustered up her best sad smile, as she came to the door, "Hello, it's so good to see you." 

 

"Can I play with Arthur?" Will asked again. 

 

"Umm, yes I suppose so. He's in the backyard." River stepped aside so the boy could enter. 

 

Will excitedly ran to the back yard, though Cathy looked unsure. "I'm sorry, he doesn't quite understand what's happened." 

 

"It's alright." River murmured, "The children have been missing their friends, this will be good for them." 

 

"It's been almost four months," Nigel commented. "Has Basil been with you this whole time?" 

 

"Yes, he has and he's been absolutely wonderful to my family." She nodded. 

 

"Come in, why don't you?" The Doctor offered, realizing they'd just been standing in the doorway. They nodded, entering the house. 

 

The Doctor put the kettle on as the other adults sat around the kitchen table. River made awkward conversation with the adults, not finding it terribly difficult to act sad after what happened. The Doctor served everyone a cuppa, making sure there were sugar and cream on the table before sitting with them. 

 

"So, Basil. You were close to John?" Cathy asked once he was sitting.

 

"Yes." He nodded. "Very." 

 

"It's very kind of you to stay with River and the children while they go through this time." She commented. 

 

"They've always done the same for me, it was the least I could do for them." 

 

"Where did you say you worked again?" Nigel asked.  

 

"Em, well I've been at the same university River's been at." 

 

"Ah, right. What department?" 

 

"Languages." He murmured. "I switched it from history a little while back." 

 

"Ah, very interesting." The man smiled, "Will you be staying with the Songs for long?" 

 

He glanced at River for help. River nodded, "Yes, he said he'd stay to help me until I get adjusted to..." She sniffed, bringing forth tears in an attempt to bring the attention away from the Doctor, "Until I adjust to John not being here anymore." 

 

The Doctor squeezed River's hand as he assumed Basil would do as a gesture of comfort. Cathy tsked sympathetically, both humans seeming to overlook that Basil had supposedly already been with the Songs for four months. 

 

"I could hardly imagine raising Will alone, let alone  _ four  _ children. I'm so sorry." 

 

River gave another sniff and pretended to pull herself together, "I'm lucky I have such wonderful friends that have been helping me out." 

 

"If there's anything at all we can do for you, please don't hesitate to give us a ring." 

 

"Thank you." River murmured, "I appreciate it." 

 

The twins came inside after a while, getting themselves water. Cathy and Nigel spoke with the children for a bit, giving them condolences as well. Amelia and Freya tried to act sadder once they remembered that they had to pretend they didn't have a dad. They didn't hold the conversation for long, retreating upstairs. 

 

Eventually, the humans decided to go, wanting to give the family some more space to grieve. Arthur saw Will to the door, promising to play with him when he returned to school. 

 

Once Will and his family left, River let the children call Jack, though they had to wait for her to secure the phone line. Jack had much of the same reaction Vastra had had when hearing from his friend again: an overwhelming relief that they were safe. 

 

River started dinner while the children spoke with their Uncle. The Doctor helped with the food, slightly comforted by the sound of the children chattering excitedly away.


	37. Bad Cop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "[You look silly when you kiss Daddy.]"
> 
> "[What do you mean I look silly?]"
> 
> "[You and Daddy both look kind of sleepy and... and...]" Terra couldn't think of the word so she demonstrated by puckering out her lips and batting her eyelashes rapidly. Arthur burst into giggles and started mimicking the face Terra was making.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly late, sorry. Enjoy!

**Ch 37**

 

"I'm sorry about last night." River murmured as she and her husband cooked.

 

"Me too." He replied. "How's your arm?"

 

"It's okay." She watched the food closely, "Sore, but that's expected."

 

"You should change the dressing after dinner."

 

"I will." She nodded, stopping what she was doing and turning to look at him. He met her eyes, holding her gaze. "Thank you for taking care of me." She ran her hand lightly along his arm.

 

He gave a small smile. "Thank you for letting me."

 

She nodded. "I think we should sleep in the TARDIS tonight."

 

"All of us?" He glanced in the direction of the kids.

 

"Yes, all of us. It'll be safer." She smiled softly, taking his hand.

 

He gave it a squeeze. "Thanks for covering for me with Will's parents."

 

"Of course." She tugged him closer to her, "I wasn't going to leave you stranded."

 

He took a step towards her, taking her other hand as well. She smiled up at him. He moved her right hand to rest on his shoulder, in turn putting his left hand on her hip. "Could I interest you in a dance, Mrs. Doctor?"

 

"Yes, Mr. Song, I believe you can." She smiled softly.

 

He started to hum and they started swaying to his song. She rested her head against his chest, right beneath his chin as they swayed. His hearts kept a beat for them as they rocked, the cooking and the children's words all falling away.

 

They didn't even notice when the kids got off the phone and started watching them from the living room.

 

"[What are Mummy and Daddy doing?]" Terra asked Freya.

 

"[They're dancing.]" She answered.

  
"[Why?]"

 

Freya shrugged, "[They love each other a lot and sometimes they dance together instead of saying I love you.]"

 

"[Is there music?]" She asked.

 

"[Daddy's humming but I don't know the song.]"

 

"[I want dinner. Can we ask if it's ready?]"

 

"[Just wait a minute.]" She shook her head, "[Let them finish.]" She could tell that her parents had been through a lot while they were away, even if they wouldn't admit it, and understood that moments like this were important for them. Terra sighed but did as her sister said.

 

They waited for about five more minutes, during which their parents shared a kiss or two and then realized they were being watched. "Er, how long have you lot been standing there?" Their father asked.

 

Amelia shrugged, "Not too long, but we watched you snog." She teased, making a face.

 

He shook his head, smiling. "Are you all hungry?" All the children nodded. "Alright then, sit yourselves down." They scurried to their seats.

 

The adults finished up the cooking quickly, serving it at the table and taking seats of their own. Dinner went by much like lunch with the family talking and the children recounting some of their adventures with their grandparents.

 

"Will was treating us kind of funny when he was here," Arthur said.

 

River frowned, her mind immediately jumping to the worst thoughts, "What do you mean funny?"

 

"Like he felt bad for us." He explained.

 

"Oh...." She relaxed, "Yes, well that's going to happen quite a bit I'm afraid."

 

"I don't want him to act like that. It's weird." Arthur frowned slightly. "It's like he thinks I'm all... delicate or something."

 

"You can tell him that he doesn't have to treat you that way."

 

He nodded. "What if he tells everyone that they should be like that with me?"

 

"Well, if you tell him not to treat you like that, then he won't."

 

"[Why were you and Daddy dancing?]" Terra asked.

 

"[Because we love each other very much and we like dancing together.]" She answered, smiling softly.

 

"[That's what Freya said... but why in the kitchen?]"

 

"[Because we were making dinner and we just got distracted.]"

 

"[You look silly when you kiss Daddy.]"

 

"[What do you mean I look silly?]"

 

"[You and Daddy both look kind of sleepy and... and...]" Terra couldn't think of the word so she demonstrated by puckering out her lips and batting her eyelashes rapidly. Arthur burst into giggles and started mimicking the face Terra was making.

 

"[I didn't realize we looked so silly.]" River laughed, looking over at her husband. He was shaking his head affectionately. "[I guess we should kiss more so we can practice not looking 'silly']" She smiled.

 

"Ew!" Arthur stuck his tongue out. "Do it later so we don't have to look."

 

"What do you think, my love? Should we spare the children from having to watch us kiss?" River raised her eyebrow, directing the question to the Doctor.

 

He glanced at Freya, who was trying very hard to focus on her food and not blush out of second-hand embarrassment. Amelia was just watching the scene with amusement. He looked back at River, finding the urge to kiss her anyway. "Well, Arthur and Terra are going to need new material for those silly faces of theirs."

 

"I suppose they will." She hummed.

 

Arthur exaggerated a sickly sounding noise and covered his eyes in anticipation. Terra copied him. Freya looked away as well, making a face at her sister. Amelia stuck her tongue out at Freya as the Doctor leaned in and gave River a kiss. River made sure to make the kiss sound extra loud, just to bother the children.

 

"Muu-uum!" Freya's truly was getting pinker now. River couldn't help but laugh against her husband's lips.

 

Terra peeked curiously out from behind her hands as her parents finally pulled away from each other. River leaned in to kiss the Doctor's cheek quietly and lovingly, thinking the kids weren't watching. Terra vocalized a squeak to get her parents' attention.

 

River looked back over at her daughter, "[Were you peeking?]"

 

Terra pointed to her ear. "[I didn't know if you were done yet.]"

 

"[I see. Well I'm sorry you had to see that.]"

 

"[It's not as weird on the cheek.]" She informed River, the other children uncovering their eyes. River smiled, taking the Doctor's hand beneath the table.

 

Freya shoved a bite of food in her mouth, trying to forget what just happened. Arthur and Terra shared a look, giggled for a moment, then continued eating as well. The rest of the family went back to eating. After they were done, the children went to get ready for bed.

 

"We're going to have to tell them to sleep in the TARDIS soon." The Doctor murmured, washing the dishes. River nodded, taking up the task of drying and putting the dishes away. "I'll put the shields up tonight."

 

"Thanks." She came up behind him, rubbing his shoulders.

 

"Can you help me look into the applications tomorrow?" he asked.

 

"Of course." She murmured, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He smiled, reaching his hand up to touch hers. She smiled as well, silent for a moment, "How much did you tell Vastra?"

 

"Everything," he replied honestly. "She said she already knew."

 

She removed her hands, nodding slightly, "Oh...okay."

 

He turned off the sink and turned around to face her. "She won't say anything, you know."

 

"I know." She murmured, sitting down at the table.

 

He leaned back against the counter. "Should I have... not done that?"

 

River shook her head, "It's alright. You said she already knew anyway. I just....Don't like people knowing."

 

He nodded his understanding, realizing that it was best not to tell Jack if and when he asked. "Luckily, most of the people we know don't have the nose of a homo-reptilian."

 

She nodded, hand tracing absent-mindedly along her abdomen, "Yes, I suppose you're right."

 

"Do you want me to talk to the kids about sleeping arrangements?" He offered after a moment.

 

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate it." She nodded.

 

He touched her shoulder as he moved to go upstairs. He went upstairs, finding Terra pondering over her bookshelf.

 

Terra noticed movement in the doorway, looking up at him, "[Can you read me a story?]"

 

"[Yes,]" he nodded, "[but let's do it on the TARDIS. We're all sleeping in there tonight.]"

 

"[Why?]" She frowned slightly.

 

"[Just as a safety precaution.]"

 

Her frown didn't fade, but she didn't protest either. He instructed her to take her book and whatever else she wanted to the ship while he informed her siblings.

 

The other children had much of the same reaction as Terra, Arthur complaining more until the Doctor told him he didn't have to go to bed right away. River had made her way into the TARDIS by the time he told the children, doing a headcount of each one, as well as the animals before locking the door behind them.

 

Freya and Amelia lurked in the console room, watching their mother press buttons and type away at the monitor as the Doctor went to read Terra her story.

 

"Do you girls need something?" River asked, turning to look at them.

 

Freya shifted her feet as Amelia asked, "I thought you said we were safe."

 

"We are, I just want to make sure it stays that way." River murmured.

 

"You never wanted to do it like this before," she pressed with an obvious edge of worry.

 

River could sense her worry, and she tried to be as reassuring as possible, "I promise, we're not in danger. I'm just testing out some new safety measures so if we ever need to use them, we know they work."

 

Freya stopped fidgeting and the two seemed to relax some. "So we can sleep in the house tomorrow?"

 

"We'll see, darling." She gave them a soft smile.

 

"That's not a yes." Freya murmured.

 

"No, it's not, it's a maybe."

 

"But if it works out tonight then we don't need to do it again, right?"

 

"Yes, but if it doesn't I want to try again."

 

She sighed. "...Okay."

 

"Why don't you go read." She suggested, shooing them out of the room. They quietly did as they were told, leaving River alone.

 

River set up all the shields possible, the process taking several minutes. The Doctor came back into the room by the end of it. "Got everything working?"

 

She nodded, "It's all set up now."

 

"Terra's asleep." He murmured.

 

"That's good. Arthur and the twins should be reading somewhere." She moved closer to him.

 

He nodded. "How are they?"

 

"They're not terribly pleased." She sighed.

 

"Is that so?"

 

She nodded, "Yes...they want to sleep in the flat tomorrow."

 

"I'm guessing you'd prefer them not to." She nodded again. "Well, then you can let me be the bad cop," he murmured.

 

"Are you sure?" She wasn't used to him being the bad cop.

 

"I don't have these eyebrows just for show," he teased, though was serious about the offer. River didn't need the children faulting her on top of everything else that was happening. She smiled weakly, but nodded, "I suppose not. You can take a crack at it if you want."

 

He reached for her hand. "Do you want to put Arthur to bed or should I?"

 

"I can do it." She took his hand.

 

He squeezed it and offered a weak smile. "I'll put us in the Vortex."

 

She nodded, going to put the boy to bed. Arthur was in the Library with his older sisters; it seemed to be a popular place for the Songs lately. The three were huddled around one book, whispering things to each other.

 

"What are you three doing?" River frowned, finding their behavior suspicious.

 

They all quickly looked up, one of them shutting the book. "Nothing."

 

She walked over, taking the book and reading the cover. The first notable thing was that it was in Gallifreyan. Arthur couldn't read it, but the twins could understand most of the language. It appeared to a journal, so there was no obvious title, but in the bottom corner, there was a signature: Rai'Nuakhhyl of the Dry Lands. River felt her stomach drop as she read the name. "What are you doing with this?! Why are you reading this?!" She panicked, shouting at them.

 

Arthur and Amelia jumped at her tone, shirking away from her, but Freya only frowned. Like her mother, she was quick to get defensive when she was sure she wasn't in the wrong. "It's a book we found, what did you expect us to do with it, eat it?"

 

"Don't you dare talk back to me, young lady! You know there are books in here that you're not allowed to read and this is obviously one of them. So why were you reading it?!" River was only getting angrier, though her anger was only out of fear of what her children may have learned.

 

Freya stood up. "I told you, it was lying around! It wasn't in the place you don't like us going." The "restricted" section of the TARDIS library was a room attached to the back, which looked more like a crypt with shelves that a library. It had books in the form jarred memories and carved stone, and of course books about their parents' pasts and futures. Most Gallifreyan texts the children were permitted to read were fairy tales, not anything based on real events. "We didn't even get that far in!"

 

"But you know you weren't supposed to be reading it. I could tell by the looks on your faces when I came in. And I don't care how far you got into it, you're not allowed to read it.”

 

"Why not?" She demanded. "It's just some journal from Gallifrey."

 

"Because I said you couldn't! Now go to bed and I don't want to catch any of you reading this book ever again!"

 

"That's a stupid reason! " Freya yelled back, stopping out towards her room. Amelia followed with Arthur scurrying behind her.

 

"Freya, you're grounded!" River shouted, though didn't follow them. Instead, she sank down on the floor, opening to the start of the journal, her stomach tightening. All of her defense seemed to vanish, replaced this the fear that the mere sight of this book had placed in her.

 

The page started with a "Dear Theta'Rjunn," and continued for a few pages explaining the situation in the form of a letter to her brother. Rai was obviously much older when this was written than she was when she'd met River. The letter explained that at the time of it being written, she was looking for Theon, who'd been taken away in a census.

 

River frowned, not knowing if she should read on. She'd hate to learn about the unpleasant future the sweet children she met may have had.

 

At that moment, the Doctor entered. She looked up at him, still upset, "I caught the children reading this." She handed him the book.

 

He looked surprised when he realized what it was. "Where'd this come from?"

 

"I don't know they said they found it lying around."

 

"So the TARDIS put it there, then." It wasn't exactly a question. The Doctor was well aware of the ship's habit of leaving things around when she wanted them to be seen.

 

"Why would she do that?" River pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

"Maybe she meant for one of us to find it and the kids got there first." He theorized.

 

"Well, then she needs to be more careful." She muttered.

 

“What happened exactly? I heard yelling..."

 

"I came in and they were reading the book. I shouted at them... and I know I probably shouldn't have, but I just...I was afraid of what they might have read. Freya got upset and she started shouting back." She sighed.

 

"Do you want me to talk to her?" He asked softly.

 

"Maybe tomorrow. I sent them to bed."

 

He nodded slowly. "Are you going to read through it, then?"

 

"I guess so." She murmured, "Will you read it with me?" He would have an easier time with the language than she would, especially with Rai’s imperfect handwriting and local lexicon.

 

He nodded, situating himself so he was sitting next to her. She reopened the book, letting him read it to her.


	38. Shattered Empire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River didn't say anything, but her hands tightened around the book and her expression twitched. She frowned, running her finger along the jagged remains of the missing pages.
> 
> After a moment, she closed the book, throwing it across the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer is on its last leg, so any delays in updates are probably because of that. Enjoy.

**Ch 38**

 

_The rest of the journal seemed more linear to the Rai’s life. After the opening letter came some accounts of her childhood including Theon's birth and of course River and the Doctor's visit._

 

_Rai's words discussed much of the aftermath after the Doctor had destroyed the Capital; Other central cities around Gallifrey found themselves facing a similar revolt to the one in the Capital, which would destroy the reign of the Council completely but not for another decade or so. It was the start of a global polarization; there were those who the allied with the Council and thus clung to the power of fear, and those who tried to move on._

 

_Many of the displaced citizens came to her village for sanctuary. Many people from the Capital who had fled set up permanent residence in her village and in turn gave their hosts more advanced technology and communication. One could never be too sure of them. She'd been told there were spies among the Capital dwellers._

 

_Rai met many new people through this colonization, including Venic and the guards and nurses who had tried to help River and the Doctor. One of the guards, whose name was Salvi'Chya, explained what he knew of the Capital’s destruction and that Rassilon was dead, which was recorded with much detail in the journal._

 

_From Venic, Rai discovered that River's baby was most likely dead. Venic, Rai observed, was proud of her plan, knowing that if harm came to River and the child, the Doctor would be driven to do what he did and destroy the Capital thereby freeing all in its shadow._

 

_At the same time Rai's village was gaining new members, the Council's followers were trying to rebuild their shattered empire. She was fourteen when she heard news of renewed censuses, and fifteen when they came to the village. This was how Theon was taken, she wrote. It was like the Council had risen out of the very walls of their homes-- like they had never left. Theon was plucked as easily from her as a fruit is plucked off a vine._

 

_The Council, someone had informed her, was on a mission to avenge Rassilon and somehow had gained the information about all who had been associated with the Doctor at the time of Rassilon's death. The guards, nurses, old villagers, and healers had been taken that night as well._

 

_The story went on to describe Rai's decision to go after her brother even with others telling her that he was probably killed already. The hope she was going on was that they needed Theon's information about River and the Doctor before they did anything to him and would keep him alive until they got it. The Council may have had power enough to take Theon away, but they didn't have the recourses to waste on killing him. The council wasn't as powerful as it once was, so she and Salvi'Chya--who had managed to avoid capture with her-- set off to find the others._

 

There were a few pages ripped out after that, then just the leather of the back cover of the journal.

 

River didn't say anything, but her hands tightened around the book and her expression twitched. She frowned, running her finger along the jagged remains of the missing pages.

 

After a moment, she closed the book, throwing it across the library.

 

The Doctor flinched at the suddenness of the action then exhaled slowly. "Do you think... do you think the Council got their information?"

 

"I don't know." She whispered, putting her head in her hands, "I don't know, but I hope they killed Venic because if they didn't..." She stopped, "She sacrificed our child for _nothing_. Nothing changed. We're not even safe from them, they could still be after us." River was furious, almost to the point of shaking with anger. She stood up, pacing.

 

"We have to do something." He whispered.

 

"What? What do you want us to do?" She snapped. "There's nothing we can do!"

 

"We can help them." He said more calmly. "It's our... it's _my_ fault, all of this. I should help them."

 

"No." She said firmly, "We're not doing that. I'm sorry, but we can't help everyone."

 

"I'm not suggesting we help everyone, just the ones who helped us when we needed it."

 

"And I'm saying no!" She stared at him in disbelief, "Have you already forgotten what they did the last time we were there?! Do I need to remind you of what happened?!"

 

"I remember it, River. Very clearly." He muttered, glancing at the floor, then back up at her, scrubbing a hand down his face. "What do you suggest? That we just sit here and wait for them to find us again?"

 

"I don't know." She whispered, turning her back to him.

 

"Look," he said more softly, "we're safe tonight so maybe... let's just have some time to think about it."

 

She said nothing. He moved around her so she was facing him. "We're safe tonight." He repeated.

 

She avoided his eyes, trying to hide how scared and upset she was. "You should get some rest." She whispered.

 

"You, too."

 

She nodded but didn't move. He reached for her hand but she pulled away. In the corner, the TARDIS made the journal disappear.

 

"I'm... going to check on the kids." He said.

 

"Okay." She nodded.

 

He left, checking on his youngest first. Terra was still fast asleep, the dog sleeping next to her on the bed. He smiled weakly at them. His main concern lay with his eldests, but it still brought him comfort to see Terra content.

 

Arthur and the girls were also asleep, though Freya's sleep was restless. The Doctor came up beside Freya's bed, silently touching her temple to give her a better dream. Once he did so, she started to relax, hugging her pillow.

 

He smiled weakly. "Sorry about the journal." He whispered. "Your mum's just scared. We both are." Of course, she didn't respond, still fast asleep. He kissed her forehead, then went to his and River's room.

 

River wasn't in the room.

 

He frowned, glancing around. "Riv?"

 

There was no response. She had gone to the console room while he was checking on the children. He quietly went looking for her.

 

In the console room, both scanner screens were on. One of them displayed a sonogram image of their lost child. The other, the one River was staring at, was scanning for any threats, especially anything that would indicate Time Lord activity.

 

The Doctor's stomach tightened when he came in, the sonogram being the first thing he saw. "What are you doing?"

 

"Just...looking." She murmured, eyes not leaving the scanner, nothing was coming up, but that didn't make her feel any better.

 

"It's almost midnight." Reading the journal had taken a while. "We should sleep."

 

"You go, I don't think I'll be able to sleep."

 

"Why don't you bring a scanner to the bedroom with you? You don't have to sleep just... rest."

 

She hesitated, then nodded slowly. Trying to be helpful, the TARDIS materialized a scanner for River to have which was keeping track of the same data at the monitor was. She took the scanner, standing slowly.

 

"We'll figure this out, Riv." He murmured.

 

"I hope so." She whispered, her eyes falling on the other scanner with the sonogram.

 

He followed her gaze, shoulders starting to feel heavier with the grief of seeing their lost baby. After a long moment, which could have been minutes for all they knew, the screen shut off and image disappeared with it.

 

The Doctor silently urged River to come to bed. She slowly moved towards their bedroom, carrying the scanner.

 

They settled into bed and the Doctor turned out the light. The light from the scanner’s screen illuminated River's face. "If you get tired of staring at that, wake me up and I'll watch it so you can sleep."

 

"Okay, thanks." She murmured, still not really looking at him.

 

He had a worrying sense, as he fell to sleep, that she was longing for his former face and looking at the sonogram had made it worse. All of their children were fathered by Bowtie, so they held the same connection, but then again, they weren't lost.

 

After several hours, despite trying to fight it, River fell asleep. Unfortunately, she didn't get much rest. Night terrors were quick to take her and she woke up in a cold sweat, shouting.

 

The Doctor was startled awake by the shout. "River? Are you alright?" She was clutching her abdomen, shaking and unable to answer. "What's wrong? What happened?" He was touching her shoulder, trying to refocus her to reality.

 

She flinched away from his hand, stumbling out of bed. She looked over her body, checking for any signs of blood and injury, especially around her abdomen. "Rassilon..." She breathed.

 

"He'd dead." He murmured, realizing he'd been having a night terror. "He's gone, he's not here." She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to slow her breathing. "Are you alright?"

 

She took a minute to respond, nodding. "...Are you sure?"

 

"Yes." She murmured.

 

"Do you... want to talk about it?"

 

"Not really." She walked back towards the scanner.

 

"Still nothing?" He asked quietly.

 

She nodded, "Nothing."

 

"Will you be able to sleep again?"

 

She shook her head, "I'll be fine. You sleep." She left the room without waiting for a response, taking the scanner with her.

 

Tiber caught up with her in the hall, following her. She sat with the cat in a sitting room, the scanner resting on the arm of the sofa she sat on. Tiber jumped on the sofa, curiously pawing at the scanner. She shooed him away, not wanting him to mess with it. He jumped on her lap instead, purring with the expectation of being pet. She did so, finding the action rather comforting.

 

It was soon that the cat fell asleep in her lap. She watched him and the scanner, staying up for the rest of the night. The scanner continued to show no danger.

 

Terra found her mother in the morning, padding into the sitting room with her blankie and Toby.

 

"Hello, my sweet." River murmured, turning off the scanner.

 

"[What are you doing?]" She yawned.

 

"[Just watching something. What are you doing up so early?]"

 

"[Toby was having a wiggly dream and he woke me up.]"

 

She smiled softly, "[Would you like to come cuddle with me?]"

 

Terra nodded happily. River made room for the little girl, helping her climb onto the sofa. Terra gladly snuggled up with her mum, sticking her thumb in her mouth. River stroked her hair soothingly, humming softly. Toby lay at River's feet.

 

They stayed like that for a while until Terra announced that she was hungry.

 

"[I'll make you something to eat.]" River encouraged her up. Toby got up, following the pair to the kitchen.

 

"[You look tired, Mummy.]"

 

"[I'm a bit tired, but don't you worry about it.]" She kissed the girl's forehead.

 

"[What was that tablet thing you were looking at?]" Terra asked, climbing up on a chair.

 

"[Just running some tests on the TARDIS.]" She lied.

 

"[Can I help make breakfast?]"

 

"[Of course! What do you want to have?]"

 

"[Um... Eggs and crumpets.]"

 

Terra helped pull out ingredients. River let her crack the eggs, helping her through the process. Arthur peered into the kitchen at some point, hesitant to enter. River was humming softly, helping Terra whisk the eggs.

 

It was Terra who noticed her brother, pointing him out to River. River looked to the door, seeing the boy, "Would you like to come help us, Arthur?"

 

He nodded slowly, worried she might yell again.

 

"Do you want to help Terra whisk the eggs?"

 

He nodded again, approaching the counter. River held the whisk out for him, getting a stool so he could reach. He took the whisk, helping his sister finish up. River supervised them, helping them pour the beaten eggs into the pan.

 

Arthur started to relax slightly as they continued with no scolding. Breakfast was finished soon enough, River being gentle with the kids. Terra ate happily, oblivious to the leftover tension.

 

The Doctor came in while they were eating.

 

"Do you want breakfast?" River asked, standing up.

 

"If there's enough." She got a plate for him. "Thank you," he smiled weakly, turning to his children, "and how are you two this morning?"  

 

"Good." Arthur shrugged.

 

He sat down, "Did you and Mummy talk about what happened?"

 

Arthur shook his head.

 

"I think you ought to." The Doctor murmured.

 

Both Arthur and River frowned at the Doctor, not looking too pleased.

 

"[What is everyone saying?]" Terra asked.

 

"[Dumb stuff.]" Arthur answered.

 

This earned a frown from the Doctor and Terra.

 

"[Why's it dumb?]" She asked.

 

"[Because it is.]"  

 

"It's not," the Doctor said slightly more strict, "Though I'd appreciate a simple 'I'd rather not' if you didn't want to."  

 

"I'd rather not because talking is dumb." Arthur scowled at the Doctor.

 

"Talking is a form of communication and communication is the most important thing when it comes to... well almost anything."

 

"I don't care. I think it's _stupid_." He put emphasis on the last word, knowing it was definitely one he wasn't allowed to say.

 

"Then sign if you don't want to talk, but you will do it _respectfully_."

 

"This is stupid." He muttered under his breath, crossing his arms.

 

The Doctor was giving Arthur a look now and had quite a lot more eyebrow that he couldn't have achieved in his last regeneration. " _Respectfully_."

 

"Shut up!" He shouted, pushing the boundaries. Terra gasped, having to lip-read what her brother said.

 

The Doctor raised his voice slightly. "Arthur, you are not allowed to talk like that and you know it."

 

"I don't care! It's not like you'll do anything about it."

 

"And what makes you so sure about that?" The Doctor said menacingly.

 

"Because Mummy is the only one that yells." He wasn't used to the Doctor being the bad cop.

 

"I don't need to yell." He stood. "With me, Arthur. We're going to have a talk." Arthur scowled, but got up. The two left the room, Terra much less happy than before.

 

"[Arthur's in trouble... what happened?]"

 

River was frowning, not really knowing what was about to happen with the Doctor and Arthur. This was new territory and neither River nor the children knew what to expect from him. "[Nothing important, my love. Don't worry about it.]"

 

"[But Daddy doesn't do this. What's he doing?]"

 

"[I don't know.]" She rubbed the girl's arm, "[Let's finish eating and then we can color. That would be nice, yeah?]"

 

Terra nodded, though couldn't help but look worriedly at the Doctor's and Arthur's half eaten plates. "[Why aren't Amelia and Freya up yet?]"

 

"[They're probably sleeping in, it's still a bit early. Now, eat up.]"

 

She finished up, the went with River to do coloring. River checked the scanner while Terra got the coloring books, not seeing anything alarming. Toby sat with them again, the coloring providing a good distraction for about an hour.

 

Terra's attention shifted from coloring to the dog, finding it more entertaining to place the crayons on his back. Toby shook them off occasionally, amusing her more.

 

Arthur re-entered the room after a while. Both River and Terra looked up when he came back into the room. He was glancing awkwardly from his feet to the dog. "Um, Mummy?”

 

"Yes, Arthur?" River watched him.

 

"...Sorry for calling talking stupid." He murmured.

 

"It's alright. I'm sorry for shouting last night."

 

He shifted his feet. "I won't look in the book again. I promise I won't."

 

"Okay. Thank you." She murmured. He looked at her in the eyes, then went to sit next to Terra. "Where's your father?" River asked.

 

"He said he had to check something."

 

River nodded, standing up, going to find him. The TARDIS led River purposefully, allowing the twins' room to appear. River hesitated when she got to the room. There were other rooms in the hall, of course: a hologram room, shooting range, swimming pool; All rather unimportant.

 

"Doctor?" River called softly. There was no answer from him, though Amelia’s eyes appeared in the crack of the door.

 

River saw her, smiling softly, "Good morning."

 

Amelia said nothing, worriedly stepping out of sight.

 

"Amelia?" She frowned, walking closer to the door.

 

There was silence for a moment, then her response when she realized it was no use pretending she wasn't there. "Um... yeah?"

 

River gently pushed the door open. Amelia was stood alone in the middle of the room in her pajamas. "Are you alright?" River asked softly.

 

"Yeah." She nodded quickly. "I'm good."

 

"I'm sorry for what happened last night."

 

"Oh... why didn't you want us to read it?"

 

"It has things about Gallifrey that I didn't want you to know about. Things about...your father and me."

 

"Why can't we know them?"

 

"Because it's not important, it's just sad and I don't want you to be sad."

 

" _You're_ sad," Amelia said in the way of realizing that that was what had been off about her mother since she'd returned.

 

"I'm okay." She lied, giving her a small smile.

 

"You're sad," Amela repeated. "And you keep going like this," she brushed a hand over her stomach, "like you're sore or something."

 

"I'm fine." River tried again, trying to change the subject, "Where’s your sister?"

 

Amelia tensed, then shrugged.

 

River sighed. "Go on." She held the door open for the girl, following her out of the room. Amelia went to the kitchen with her mother. Both of them knew there were things the other wasn't saying.


	39. Riptide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why did you try to read it again after I said not to?"
> 
> "Because I wanted to know what was in there. You and Dad have been keeping secrets since you got back and I... I get when you don't tell Terra or Arthur cos' they're little, but I'm not little." She confessed. "Sometimes you still treat me like I'm little."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness. Computer issue are occurring... enjoy.

**Ch 39**

 

River went looking for Freya after helping Amelia with breakfast. The TARDIS allowed more rooms to appear for River, including her own. She went to her room, shoulder's sagging. 

 

Inside, the Doctor and Freya were sitting on the bed, talking. River froze in the doorway, straightening up. Freya turned back to look at River, looking rather guilty. River's eyes shifted from her daughter to her husband. 

 

The Doctor looked calmer than his daughter, murmuring to her, "She won't yell at you, I promise." 

 

"I won't, I promise too." River murmured. 

 

The Doctor nodded encouragingly and Freya took a breath. "I... I tried to look at the book again... Sorry."

 

River's eyes ignited with fear and anger, she looked like she was about to start yelling again, then remembered her promise. She took a breath, replying in a somewhat calm voice, "I thought I told you not to." 

 

"You did." Freya stared at her feet.

 

"She didn't actually read it," the Doctor added. "I found her before she could." 

 

River relaxed a bit more, "Why did you try to read it again after I said not to?" 

 

"Because I wanted to know what was in there. You and Dad have been keeping secrets since you got back and I... I get when you don't tell Terra or Arthur cos' they're little, but  _ I'm _ not little." She confessed. "Sometimes you still treat me like I'm little." 

 

"We're just trying to protect you." River whispered, looking down, "I told Amelia that I don't want you reading the book because there are things in there that I don't want you to know. There are things about your father and me in there, nothing--" She sighed, "It's only going to make you sad if you read it. I was trying to protect you from that." 

 

"Dad already told me what it is. He said... he said he killed a man." 

 

River looked up at the Doctor, meeting his eyes. His gaze was steady and seemed sure of this decision. It had been for many reasons, none the least of which was giving the kids enough information that they would be satisfied and stay off of River's trail.

 

River  nodded slowly, "Yes, well...are you alright?" 

 

The Doctor nodded and Freya shrugged. "I kinda knew that you've... done that before. But I thought you stopped." 

 

"The man he killed was a very,  _ very _ bad man, but we didn't want you to be afraid, especially after everything that's been happening." 

 

"What made him bad?" 

 

"He killed a lot of innocent people." Her hand grazed her stomach again, just as Amelia had pointed out. The Doctor swallowed and nodded in agreement. 

 

"Dad said he was going to kill all of us." 

 

"Yes, he was, but you don't have to worry about him now." River's jaw tightened.

 

Freya nodded. "You would tell us if we did have to worry, right?" 

 

"Yes, we would." She lied. 

 

"Thanks," she murmured. 

 

"Go eat, there's some food for you in the kitchen." 

 

Freya nodded, leaving the room. River closed the door behind the girl, sighing. 

 

The Doctor watched his wife. "Alright?" 

 

She shrugged, "I guess so." 

 

"I'm sorry if telling her about Rassilon was too much." He murmured.  

 

"It's fine." She shook her head, "She was just going to keep trying to read the journal if you didn't." 

 

"Yes," he agreed, pausing for a moment. "I think she's right. She deserves our honesty." 

 

River shook her head, "They're not old enough yet." 

 

"Not Terra and Arthur, no, but the girls are almost fourteen." He pointed out. "I'm not saying we should tell them  _ everything, _ " there were certainly some things that were going to stay permanently privet, including the miscarriage, "but they're clever and something like this might happen again." 

 

"Well, I've thought of a solution that would keep them safe." She murmured. 

 

"And what would that be?" 

 

"We could use the Chameleon Arch on them." 

 

He inhaled sharply, taken back by the suggestion. "That's a very extreme length to take." 

 

"I know." She whispered, "But it's the only way they'll be safe." She whispered, "Permanently safe." 

 

"Until they grow old and regenerate. We don't even know where the Council is or how close they are to finding us. " 

 

"I know, but we're always going to be worried. They're always going to be following us. If we rewrite their DNA then they'll be safer. The Council hasn't seen the children and doesn't know what they look like, so with the Chameleon Arch they won't be able to find them.” 

 

"I'm not so sure, River. This... this is only something we should do if there are no other options left, and right now we have options."

 

She nodded, her hand brushing across her stomach again. He stood approaching her. "If it does come to that, love, I want to tell the kids exactly what's going on. They deserve that much if we have to make them forget all of this." 

 

She nodded slowly, looking down at the floor. He was in front of her now. "We'll figure something out." he murmured. She looked up at him trying to hide how sad and tired she was. He could see through it but didn't comment. Instead, he reached for her hand and squeezed it for a moment. 

 

She looked away from him, pulling her hand away and turning to leave the room.  The twins had gone to join their other siblings. River didn't go to find them, instead, going to the shooting range to try and get some tension out. 

 

The TARDIS provided suitable targets shaped like Council members. River wasn't quite on her A-game today, missing several easy shots. The ship offered a more explosive weapon that wouldn't require as much precise aiming to cause damage. She took it, though still struggled a bit, not entirely focused on the task. Deafening booms echoed through the room every time the weapons were fired. She had earplugs in so the booms didn't sound as loud and weren't as bothersome. 

 

Behind her, the scanner started chiming. The TARDIS had put one in the room for River's comfort. 

 

In between one of her shots, she heard the sound, the chiming having become rather loud. She immediately ran over to the scanner, looking it over. The TARDIS had picked up signals of something that was scanning the ship. 

 

River  frowned, "Doctor!" He was in the other room, too far away to hear her. She grabbed the scanner, running "Doctor!" 

 

"In here," came the eventual reply from the same room she'd left the younger kids in. 

 

"Come out here, please." She stopped in the doorway, not wanting to alarm the kids. 

 

He was on the couch with a book, surrounded by all four of the kids. "Is everything alright?" 

 

"Yes, but we need to talk,  _ now _ ." She gave him a look. 

 

He nodded, keeping a pleasant face for the children. "You lot stay here a moment. I'll be right back." They looked at each other but didn't say anything as their parents left the room. 

 

River closed the door behind him, showing him the scanner. The Doctor frowned at the information. “They shouldn't be able to scan us in the Vortex." 

 

"I know." She shook her head, "I don't understand how this is possible. And what about the kids? They're going to scan the children and know who they’ll look like." 

 

He shook his head. "They're scanning the TARDIS, assessing her tech. They're not doing life forms yet... The old girl will probably shut down if they try to look further than the console room in an attempt to stop it." 

 

"This means they've found us." She whispered, trying to calm her panic, "They're going to know where we are." 

 

"I rather think they already do." He said darkly. He was trying quite hard to think of a way around this that would use the chameleon arch. 

 

"What do we do? I thought we had more time." 

 

"Me, too," he whispered, taking a breath. "Maybe we need a little help. We could call Ohila or Jack..." he offered, knowing these options were feeble. 

 

"No! We can't trust them! We can't trust anyone but ourselves!" She shook her head, jaw tight. 

 

He was silent for a moment, the lights flickering. "We're running out of time." 

 

"We have to protect the kids." She looked panicked, "Before it's too late." 

 

He nodded slowly and solemnly. "We have to tell them, then." 

 

"Okay..." 

 

The kids looked up, noticing their parent's expressions, "What's wrong?" 

 

The Doctor swallowed, "I'd like all of you to come with me and your mother." 

 

"Why? Where are we going?" Amelia asked. 

 

He looked at River, finding his throat quite dry. "We're being followed by the High Council of Gallifrey. They want to kill us and they will kill us if they catch us, so your father and I want to use a machine called the Chameleon Arch on you all to keep you safe." River explained, being open and honest, "It's going to re-write your DNA and make you human. Your Time Lord biology will be hidden inside a watch." She swallowed, "It's the only way we think you're going to be safe." 

 

"I don't want to be a human." Arthur frowned.  

 

"I'm sorry, Arthur, but you don't have a choice. They know where we are and we don't have time to think of a better solution." 

 

"[Will it be forever?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[Well, it won't be permanent. You'll have a watch that will have your Time Lord DNA in it, and when it's safe, you'll be able to open the watch and restore your DNA.]" 

 

"It's going to hurt, isn't it," Freya whispered. 

 

"Yes, but we can  sedate you so you don't feel it."

 

"What does sedate mean?" Arthur asked. 

 

"It's when we put you to sleep for a little while so you can't feel anything that's going on. " 

 

The children looked unsure, but the lights flickered again so they followed their parents deep inside the TARDIS. River ran to get the sedative, quickly hurrying back to them. 

 

Cloister bells started sounding from somewhere close to the console room. The Doctor helped the scared children fasten on the headpieces of the Arch. River carefully injected each of them, pressing a kiss to their foreheads. 

 

"[I'm scared, Mummy.]" Terra whimpered. 

 

"[It's okay. You're just going to fall asleep and then when you wake up you won't know what happened. You can do it.]" She tried to encourage her 

 

"[What if they get us?]" 

 

"[They won't. I promise.]" She gave her an encouraging smile. 

 

The children's eyes were starting to droop. "[I'll miss the stars.]" 

 

"[You'll see them again soon.]" River waited until they were completely out before starting up the Arch. 

 

"They're going to forget me, you know," the Doctor sighed. 

 

"They'll probably forget me too." She murmured, "We need to bring them somewhere they'll be safe." 

 

"River maybe... maybe you should do this too." 

 

"Why?" She looked upset at the idea, "Why would I leave you?"

 

"Because we have no idea how long it will have to be like this and the kids shouldn't be without parents." He persuaded. "You have the same hybrid DNA signature They'll be looking for as the kids do. You'll be safer too." 

 

"I don't care about my safety. What about you? You can't do this alone." 

 

"I can program myself into your lives as Basil so you can remember me to an extent..." 

 

"I don't want to leave you." She shook her head, though she knew she should for the sake of their children.  

 

He shook his head. "This isn't about me. And trust me, I'll stay close." 

 

She squeezed her eyes shut, "Okay. For the kids." He took a step closer to her and kissed her forehead. 

 

She went to get set up in the last arch. "Don't do anything stupid." 

 

"Only when necessary." He promised. The lights flickered again, this time staying out for a few seconds. "I don't think there's time to sedate you." 

 

"Okay, just do it." She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the pain. 

 

"I love you." He whispered, activating the Arch. 

 

She wasn't able to respond the pain coming almost immediately. She tried not to scream, but it was unbearable. Every cell in her body rewriting, she couldn’t hold back an ear splitting scream. She ended up losing consciousness. As she did, the lights gave out completely. 


	40. Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Across the hall from River's office was the office of the physics teacher. Word was he'd been working there longer than any other teacher in the school. She hadn't run into her office neighbor yet. Someone had told her he’d taken last year off for personal reasons. It was November now, and she occasionally saw shadows of movement from the office, but never a face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER warnings for season 10! From this point onwards there will be major plot points incorporated into the story. Some will come later, I'll give ya another heads up then. Enjoy!

**Ch 40**

 

Sun rays peaked through the window drapes right into the eyes of a previously sleeping woman. She groaned, sitting up and trying to block the unwelcome light. River Song looked beside her, smiling at the small little lump in the blankets beside her, her youngest daughter, Terra. The six and a half year old was still asleep, having come to sleep in her mother's room due to the lightning storm last night. 

 

River lay back, pulling the girl close so she could hold her in her arms. Terra shifted at the movement, yawning. River hummed softly to relax the girl, closing her eyes again. 

 

River's bedroom was the biggest of the house, complete with a walk-in closet, it's own bathroom, and huge curtained windows overlooking a flourishing back garden. On the left of her room was Terra's bedroom where an old saint Bernard was currently sleeping, and on the right, her son Arthur's, where three cats took up space on his bed. 

 

Further down the hall was another bathroom and two more bedrooms: one for each of her eldest daughters. Downstairs there were four large rooms, which were the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, and an empty guest bedroom. 

 

The family lived out in the countryside, away from the hustle and bustle of the cities. River had decided to move her family there after her husband passed away just over a year ago. 

 

During the day, the children went to Bristol a few towns over for school. This was also where River worked since she'd moved. She’d been hired as a history professor at St. Luke’s University. 

 

River opened her eyes once more, knowing the children would have to get up to go to school soon. She gently shook Terra's shoulders. 

 

The girl buried her face against her mother resistantly. River shifted, scooping her up and beginning to carry her to her room. 

 

Terra peeked her eyes open. "[Where are we going?]" She signed. 

 

"[Your room. It's time to get ready for school.]" She signed back. 

 

"[I don't want to go to school.]" She frowned. 

 

"[Do you not feel well?]" River asked, feeling her forehead to see if she had a fever. 

 

Terra shook her head. "[No, I just don't want to.]" 

 

"[I'm sorry, darling, but you have to. If you don't go to school, I can't go to work.]" 

 

"[I'll come to work with you!]" She was a bit more awake now. 

 

"[I wish you could, but little girls don't go to University. You have to go to your school so you can learn everything that a University student knows.]" 

 

"[How can I learn uni-student things if I go to primary school?]" 

 

"[Because uni-students learn all the things you learn in primary school first, and then, once they've learned everything, they come to Uni.]" She explained, setting Terra down on her bed and going to the girl's closet to get her clothes. 

 

Terra nodded her understanding. "[I want to wear my flower dress today.]" 

 

River pulled out the dress, "[This one?]" 

 

Terra nodded again. It was a sleeveless, dark blue, corduroy dress with a big, white daisy in the middle of the chest. 

 

"[Okay, get dressed. I'm going to wake your brother and sisters up.]" River gave her the dress, leaving the room. 

 

Three cats slinked out of Arthur's room, moving to brush up against River's legs in the hall. River ignored the cats, knowing that they were on a tight schedule. "Arthur? It's time to get up for school." River called, knocking on the door. 

 

The boy groaned from inside, followed by a mumbled, "I'm up." 

 

"Okay. Get dressed and be downstairs for breakfast in 15 minutes." She called, moving onto the twins' room, doing the same for them. 

 

Terra was the first to come to the kitchen, followed by an entourage of all their pets. River poured Terra a bowl of cereal, then fed the animals. Her other siblings made their way down as well, tired but dressed. River got them fed quickly, then moved on to making each of their lunches. After lunches were done, she checked their school bags, making sure they had everything.

 

By the time she was done with this, it was time to go. She shooed the children into the car. Amelia and Freya briefly argued over the front seat until Freya conceded and let Amelia have it. 

 

River drove the children to school, quizzing Arthur on his spelling words as they drove. Once the children were at their schools, she drove the University, going straight to her office. 

 

Across the hall from River's office was the office of the physics teacher. Word was he'd been working there longer than any other teacher in the school. She hadn't run into her office neighbor yet. Someone had told her he’d taken last year off for personal reasons. It was November now, and she occasionally saw shadows of movement from the office, but never a face. 

 

"Oh shit..." she muttered as she sat down at her own desk, realizing that with all the commotion of getting the kids ready, she had forgotten to eat Breakfast. 

 

Just then there was a knock on River's door. 

 

"Come in." She called, looking through her drawers for some sort of food to eat. 

 

The door clicked open and old man with impressive eyebrows entered with a coffee and a brown bag with scones. 

 

She looked up, not recognizing the man, "Can I help you?" 

 

He looked at her with soft and somehow slightly sad eyes. "You're Professor Song, right?" 

 

"Yes, and you are?" 

 

"Doctor Disco." He put the coffee and the scones down on her desk. “Physics teacher.”

 

She smiled politely, "Em… Right. Nice to meet you Doctor Disco. Are these for me?" She looked at the food. 

 

He nodded. "Isn't that what hu-- what people do when they're trying to make good impressions?" 

 

"That depends, are you trying to make a good impression?" She smiled, "Because you’ve succeeded. You've actually made my day. I completely forgot to grab breakfast this morning. Getting four children out of the house on time for school is not an easy task."

 

"Four?" He raised his eyebrows. "That's quite a number."

 

"I know. My husband loved children and he always wanted a big family." She kept her expression happy, but her eyes were sad. 

 

"You say that in past tense." He said quietly. 

 

She nodded, He passed away over a year ago. It's just me with the kids now." 

 

"My condolences." He murmured. "I know what it can be to lose a spouse." 

 

She shook her head, wanting to move on from the subject, finding that it made her head hurt, "I believe your office is across from mine. I've heard a great deal about you." 

 

"Not bad things I hope?" 

 

"It's all good things I assure you. You said you taught physics?" 

 

"That's right." He nodded. 

 

"My son is absolutely obsessed with physics right now. He's only nine, but he got a set on his birthday. I don't know where he got it, but it shows him how to do all sorts of basic experiments. He plays with it for hours." She stopped, not used to talking about her kids so much to someone she didn't know, "Sorry, I'm being such a mum, babbling about my kids to a stranger."  

 

"It's fine, really. Go on." He said, trying not to sound too eager to hear about River's children. 

 

"I shouldn't, I'm sure you have lectures to get to." River was usually a very private person and didn't talk much about her personal life to anyone at the university. Despite the odd sense of trust she felt towards this Doctor Disco person, she still held back. 

 

"Of course." He murmured, concealing disappointment. "Em, if Ar-- if your son ever wants more tools in his set or something, I'd be happy to lend him some."

"Thank you, that's very kind." She gave him another smile. 

 

He stood there a moment longer before realizing he was doing so. "Enjoy your scones... they're blueberry, by the way." 

 

"Thanks." She smiled softly, wondering how he could have possibly known blueberry were her favorite. He smiled back, then left back to his own office. 

 

-x-

 

River spent a good portion of her lectures, as well as the time in between, thinking about the oddly familiar physics professor. As it happened, their lecture halls were also quite close together and they would sometimes catch sight of each other in the hall. 

 

On one occasion, as they were rounding a corner, they ran right into one another. 

 

Flustered, the Doctor started apologizing and helping River pick up her things. 

 

"It's alright. It's my fault. I wasn't paying attention." The screen of her phone was shattered and her papers were everywhere. 

 

"Oh bollocks, your mobile..." He carefully picked it up. 

 

"Ugh. Hopefully, it still turns on." She took the device from him. 

 

Worriedly, he fumbled in his pocket and handed her his own phone. "Here, take mine until you can get yours fixed." 

 

She shook her head,"It's not that, there was a message from my daughter's school and I was just going to my office to listen to it." 

 

"Oh... may I try?" 

 

"Yeah, sure." She handed it to him. 

 

He turned around for a moment and a strange whirring sound occurred before he turned back to face her. River's phone was showing the startup screen. 

 

She took the phone in disbelief, "How did you do that?" 

 

"Gave it a good whack." He waggled his eyebrows. "It's a physics trick." 

 

She smiled weakly, looking less stressed than she had a moment before, "Thank you. Well… I've got to go listen to this message, but I'll see you around I suppose."  

 

"Looking forwards to it." 

 

She hurried to her office, going to listen to the message on her phone. It was the nurse at Terra's school who said that Terra wanted to come home because she “wasn't feeling well" though River suspected that the little girl just wanted to be home and was feeling fine. Terra had been doing this at least once a week since she'd started her new school. River had thought it would end with Terra's second school year but it was December now and the girl was still at it. 

 

River still had one more lecture to teach in about an hour and a half. She decided to run and get Terra and the little girl would just have to sit through the last class. 

 

Terra was very excited to get to be with River at work, holding her hand as they reentered the university. River brought Terra to her office since they still had a bit of time before the lecture. 

 

Terra took one of the leftover scones from River's desk. Doctor Disco had a habit of bringing River scones at least once a week.

 

There was a knock on her slightly ajar door. It was Doctor Disco again, wielding two cuppas.  

 

River looked up, surprised, "Hello, again." 

 

He looked surprised as well, "I didn't realize you'd be back already." 

 

"I just went to pick up my daughter." She pointed to the little girl. 

 

He and Terra looked at each other, the Doctor doing his best to resist smiling too widely. "Hello, there." 

 

Terra looked at her mother, getting up and going to hide near her. Terra tended to get nervous around people who didn't know she was deaf. 

 

"Terra can't hear." River explained.  

 

"Oh." He but the cups downs to free his hands. "[That's alright. I can sign.]" 

 

Terra smiled looking excitedly up at her mother. 

 

"[This is Doctor Disco. His office is right next to mine. He's very nice.]" River told her daughter.  

 

"[That's a silly name.]" Terra commented. 

 

River gave her a look, "[Be nice, Terra.]" 

 

"[It's alright. It is a silly name, that's why most people just call me the Doctor,]" said the Doctor. 

 

"[That's what I call my stuffie!]" She beamed. 

 

He faltered, eyebrows raising. "[Is it?]" 

 

"[My toy fox's name is the Doctor and he goes on adventures and saves the world with Toby.]" 

 

"[Who's Toby?]" He remembered to ask. 

 

"[My dog. He's this big!]" She stretched her arms as far as they could go. 

 

"[That's very big.]" He smiled, glancing up at River. He made a gesture to the tea. "I felt bad about your mobile, so I thought this might help." 

 

"You didn't have to do that, it was an accident." 

 

He shrugged. "Well, then you have complete permission to dump it out if I've done it wrong." 

 

She took a sip, humming, "It's perfect, actually." 

 

"Good." He looked back at Terra. "[What brings you out of school so early?]" 

 

She just remembered that she was supposed to be sick, "[I'm sick.]" 

 

He raised an eyebrow. "[Is that so?]" 

 

She nodded. 

 

"[That is a shame since I was going to offer you a lolly, but I wouldn't want to make you sicker.]" 

 

Her eyes grew wide, "[It won't make me sicker! I'm feeling better now!]" 

 

He chuckled, pulling the treat from his pocket. "[If you say so.]" 

 

She beamed, opening it up so she could snack on it immediately. 

 

"[Are you helping your mummy teach her next class?]" 

 

She giggled, finding the idea of someone her age teaching "grown-ups" rather amusing, "[No, silly! Mummy said I have to be quiet and color in my book while she teaches.]" 

 

"[Well, you're always welcome to help me teach my class if you get bored.]" 

 

"[Really? Do you teach big kids too?]" Her eyes lit up, but behind her, River shifted uncomfortably.

 

"[Yes, I teach big kids.]" He nodded. 

 

"[I want to help today!]" 

 

He was starting to notice River's unease. "[Why don't you ask your mother?]" 

 

Terra looked up hopefully at her mother. 

 

"[I'm sorry, love, but not today.]" 

 

"[Why not?]" She frowned. 

 

"[Because we've only just met Doctor Disco and we don't really know him. Do you remember my rule? No going off with people you don't know.]" River reminded.

 

"[Oh... Right.]" Terra nodded, both of them missing the Doctor tensing. 

 

"[We should get to my lecture hall.]" River started to gather her things. 

 

"[It was lovely to meet you, Terra.]" The Doctor signed. 

 

"[Can you come to our house for a play date? Then you won't be a stranger and Mummy will let me help you!]" She asked, looking hopeful once more. 

 

He chuckled. "[It's a lovely thought but I think it's a long way down the line.]" 

 

She pouted but didn't protest, waving bye as her mother ushered her off to lecture. 

 

The Doctor left back to his office again. It was bigger than River's and quite well used. There were shelves full of worn books, some of them in strange languages. The side of the room opposite to the shelves held a huge, blue police box with an out-of-order sign on the front door. On his desk sat trinkets, a small raven sculpture, and two photographs, one of them of the face of the woman whose office was across the hall. 


	41. Extraordinarily Ordinary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...That's how she found herself crying in her car, sitting in the car park of the University. It was one of the very few times she let her guard down: when she didn't have to worry about one of her children catching her without her brave face on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Aggressively tries to write fanfiction while the political climate lurks over my shoulder*
> 
> Enjoy.

**Ch 41**

 

It was another few days before River and Doctor Disco were able to have another conversation. She was leaving her office when she saw him, the frown on her face disappearing somewhat when she did. "Doctor Disco."

 

He was just about to enter his own office but turned around. "Professor Song, how are you?"

 

"I'm well, and yourself?" She set down one of her bags.

 

"I've seen worse days." He replied, something in his tone sounding tired in the existential sense.

 

She nodded in understanding, "If it makes you feel any better, it seems you've won my daughter's affections. She hasn't stopped talking about you."

 

"Is that so?" He asked, finding that it rather did improve his mood.

 

"Yes. She asks me every day if she can come back and visit."

 

He chuckled. "I can't say I'd mind. She was very charming."

 

"She gets it from her father, I’m sure. It's probably how she can convince the nurse to let her go home at least once a week." Her tone was joking, but underneath there was quite a bit of worry, though one would only notice if they knew how to listen for it.

 

The Doctor let it catch his attention. "Does she?"

 

River nodded, "And I still haven't figured out how to break her of that habit."

 

"I see... do you have any idea why she's doing it?"

 

"I think she's having trouble adjusting to her new school and ever since her father..." She trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, "She clings to me more than she used to."

 

"Maybe it would help her to have a picture of you to look at when she misses you during the day." He suggested gently.

 

"You don't think that will make it worse? I want her to get over the habit, not indulge in it." River wasn't terribly good at denying her daughter. Terra slept in River’s bed nearly every night and spent every moment she could within three feet of River.

 

"I'm afraid it's not my place to tell you how to help your daughter, but my ch-..." He stopped, stared at a spot on the wall behind her, then looked back at her again. "I heard it helped separation anxiety to have something familiar like a stuffed animal."

 

"Right, right sorry. I should go, I don't want to keep you." Her face fell a bit more. Being a single parent was not something she was used to yet and it felt nice to share the burden for a moment, to feel less alone.

 

"No, it's alright, I just didn't think you wanted me telling you how to do your job."

 

"Sometimes it's just nice to hear another opinion. It helps reassure that I'm not completely messing up their lives."

 

"I'm sure you're doing wonderfully." He offered a smile. "Parenthood is full of trial and error anyhow."

 

She nodded, giving him a forced, half hearted smile, "I guess you're right."

 

"Perhaps you should try the stuffed animal thing. It might help."

 

"I will. Thanks for the advice." She picked up her bag, heading to leave. ‘

 

Terra wasn't too keen on River calling her out about playing sick every week when she brought it up.

 

"[You can't keep missing school.]" River frowned, "[This is not okay. I'm not happy about it.]"

 

"[You let us miss a lot of school after Daddy went away.]" Terra wore a similar expression.

 

"[That was different. There was a reason then, you don't have a reason now.]"

 

"[I miss Daddy.]" Terra frowned harder, trying to use as much eyebrow as she could. "[And I miss _you_! And I don't like school and I don't like talk class!]"

 

River’s expression softened, "[I miss him too. Would it make it better if you got to take a picture of us to school? That way, when you miss us and you want to come home, you have the picture to make you feel better.]"

 

"[But it's not real. Daddy's not really there, he's not coming back.]" Her lip started to wobble.

 

"[I know, sweetie, I know.]" She wrapped the girl in her arms, pulling her close.

 

"[What if you disappear like he did?]" Terra sniffed.

 

"[I won't, I would never even dream of leaving you.]" She kissed the side of her head, "[Besides, I _can't_ leave, it's impossible! Because if I left, there would be nobody here to make your favorite mac and cheese!" River tried to make her feel better.  

 

"[Daddy would tell me stories about the Doctor and use my foxie and now no one can.]"

 

River hummed softly, "[What if, everyday before school, we told a story with foxie like Daddy used to tell. Then when it's time for school you can bring foxie with you. Would that make you feel better?]"

 

Terra nodded slowly, still sniffling. "[I miss him.]" She repeated.

 

"[Me too.]" River found her own eyes a bit watery, "[It's okay to miss him. We'll always miss him. But you know what? He's not entirely gone, he's right here.]" She pointed to the little girl's chest, "[And he'll always be with you.]"

 

"[Sometimes it doesn't feel like it.]"

 

"[Why is that, darling?]" River asked, stroking her hair.

 

"[It just doesn't. Remembering him isn't the same as him being here.]"

 

River sighed, not having a solution for that. "[I wish I could make it better.]"

 

"[Can we have mac and cheese tonight?]" Terra asked.

 

"[Of course. Why don't you get to doing your homework and I'll start making it.]" She offered her a small smile. Terra nodded, wiping her nose.

 

River got to work on the dinner, helping Arthur with science homework and Freya with history. It started raining during dinner and was scheduled to rain all through the next day.

 

The next morning, River followed through on her promise to Terra, telling her a story about the Doctor with the fox, then letting her take the toy to school. The story probably wasn't as good as the ones her husband used to tell; River didn't quite believe in the outer space, alien nonsense that he did, but she did her best. She even spent a few hours digging through old photos the night before in search of the perfect of her husband to give to Terra, just in case she decided she wanted it.

 

River didn't end up giving her the photo, deciding to save it in case the stuffed animal didn't work. That's how she found herself crying in her car, sitting in the car park of the University. It was one of the very few times she let her guard down: when she didn't have to worry about one of her children catching her without her brave face on.

 

Suddenly there was a tapping on her rain-streaked window. She jumped, startled, looking over at the window.

 

Doctor Disco was balancing a deep blue umbrella on his shoulder with two cups of tea in hand.

 

River quickly brushed away her tears, shoving the picture of her husband in her purse and opening the door, "I'm starting to think you're following me." She teased, trying to conceal her sniffles.

 

"My wife did use to say I was good at observing." He smiled weakly. "Tea?"

 

"Sure..." She nodded, taking one of the cups from him, "Thank you."

 

"Not that it's any of my business at all, but can I ask a personal question?"

 

"If you'd like." She nodded, taking a sip of the tea, not quite meeting his eyes.

 

"Was that man in the picture your husband?"

 

She took a deep breath. "Yes, I know he looks like a twelve-year-old, but he was actually older than I am. Bloody bastard." She joked, though her heart ached beneath the words.

 

He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, offering it to her. "I don't mind the crying, you know. Brave faces are overrated."

 

She smiled weakly, taking the handkerchief from him. "I miss him." She whispered after a minute of silence.

 

He nodded sympathetically. "How long ago...?"

 

"Um, just over a year ago." She sniffled again, trying not to cry, "But it feels like 10 years."

 

"I know the feeling." He murmured. "Why don't we get you inside where it's dry?"  

 

She nodded, gathering her things and going inside with him.

 

He shook out the umbrella once inside. "Not that it's much consolation, but if you ever need to talk about all of this with someone, you can talk to me."

 

"Thank you." She nodded, "I try not to think about it too much. It's better if the kids don't catch me crying, it only upsets them more."

 

"I was the same way." He hummed.

 

"You have children?" She asked.

 

"Em... Yes. I did."

 

"Oh… I'm so sorry." She assumed the past tense meant that the children weren't alive anymore.

 

He tried to smile but knew it looked unconvincing. "Don't be."

 

"You're going to have to let me pay you back for all this tea." She changed the subject, sensing neither of them wanted to linger on it.

 

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's my treat."

 

"I insist." She shook her head.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked.

 

"I could take you to lunch?" She offered.

 

A more genuine smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I'd quite like that."

 

"Are you free today? I only teach one lecture on Fridays."

 

"It happens that I am."

 

She smiled, "I believe there's a cafe down the street. It'll probably be full of students, but I heard the food is good."

 

"Meet me in my office after your lecture then?"

 

She nodded, saying goodbye and going to go get ready for her class.

 

-x-

 

He was pondering his bookshelves when she came in.

 

"What are you up to?" She smiled, knocking on the doorframe.

 

He glanced back at her, holding The Time Traveler's Wife in his hands. "Just... reorganizing."

 

She frowned slightly, reading the title, "That's one of my favorite novels. Why do you have it in here?" It seemed out of place with all the other books in the office.

 

"Oh, well, personal reasons, I suppose." He shelved the book.

 

She walked around, going to examine the things on his desk. One of the pictures he'd had before had been removed, though there was a clear spot where it used to be. She didn't comment on the space, looking around the rest of the room, "You're office is much bigger than mine."

 

"Well I've been working here longer, I suppose."

 

"I'm not complaining." She clarified, "It just...looks bigger on the inside."

 

He grinned knowingly to himself. "It's a physics trick."

 

"I see." She smiled, "Shall we go?"

 

He nodded. "We shall."

 

They walked together to the cafe, ordering and finding a table. The students that were there started at them and murmured to each other about things that made them laugh.

 

River wasn't really paying attention to anyone but the Doctor, asking him questions about his history with the University. He explained that he'd been working there since his wife had passed and she'd been encouraged to apply before.

 

"So, you're Scottish. Was your wife Scottish too?"

 

"She liked to call herself cosmopolitan." He teased. "But no, she grew up in Lea-- in London."

 

"Sounds like a woman after my own heart." River laughed, "My mother was Scottish."

 

"I take it you didn't grow up there, though."

 

She shook her head, "I was born in Leadworth and grew up there until my parents died. After they died, I was sent to boarding school in the United States and then was eventually expelled and finished school back in Leadworth."

 

"Expelled?" He raised his eyebrows. "Do tell."

 

"Well, the school was extremely strict. We'd have tight schedules and probably spend more time learned combat and weapons training than actual classroom learning. And the Headmistress... Headmistress Kovarian...." She frowned after saying the name, seeming to lose her train of thought.

 

"River?"

 

She blinked, brow furrowing, "Sorry...I just..." She stopped again, "What was the question?"

 

Before he could answer, the waiter came to take their orders. She grew a bit quiet, ordering her meal.

 

"So," he said once the waiter left. "Why is The Time Traveler's Wife your favorite book?"  

 

She shrugged, "It's so...horribly tragic. Romantic, but tragic. Henry and Clare are instantly drawn to one another, but they can never _truly_ be together. Their meetings are out of sync...it's a life I would hate to live."

 

"Oh." He murmured deflating slightly. "Even if you were madly in love?"

 

"If I was madly in love..." She thought about it, "I think it would be awfully painful, all the worrying and not meeting in the right order. Don't you agree? I suppose if I were _madly_ in love, I'd tolerate it, but I wouldn't enjoy it."  

 

"Yes, it would be rather taxing... They'll need to invent better control when they invent time travel, then." He tried to say lightly.

 

She laughed, "Do you think that'll happen?"

 

"Well, if it does it will be long after the two of us are gone. Where would you go if you could?"

 

She hummed, "I think I'd want to see the future. I've always wondered what the world would be like in the 51st Century."

 

"Oh, I've got lots of theories." He hummed knowingly.

 

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow, "Care to share any?"

 

Gladly, he launched into a detailed description of the 51st century, talking about universities on the moon, alien embassies and inter-planet trade, and neurochips. River listened, something nagging at the back of her mind. She frowned ever so slightly as he spoke.

 

"Is something wrong?" He asked when their food came.

 

She hesitated, "No, everything's fine, you just...You sound like my husband."

 

In the back of his mind he knew the reason clearly, but presently he didn't know if he should apologize or not, so he did anyway. "Sorry."

 

"Don't be, it's not your fault." She gave him a weak smile, "He used to talk about the future and alien planets and impossible things."

 

"A man after my own heart." He tried to lighten the mood.

 

"What was your wife like? If you don't mind me asking." She watched him closely.  

 

"It's alright she was... well she was brilliant, kind, funny," He looked more nostalgic as he spoke, knowing he had to make a description vague enough not to match the woman in front of him. "She loved traveling-- we traveled lots when we were younger. She loved books and teaching. Those always seem to go hand in hand. She was quite full of love. She loved her family more than anything."

 

River smiled softly, touched by the way he talked about the woman, "She sounds wonderful."

 

Instinctively he touched his thumb to his ring finger, though the ring wasn't there. He didn’t wear it at work just in case it ever accidentally was to be noticed by the woman who unknowingly had one that matched; it would raise too many suspicions.

 

"This lunch has been wonderful." River commented, "I don't get too much time with other adults outside of work."

 

He made a noise of agreement. "I'd, em, love to do it again sometime."

 

"So would I." She smiled softly, feeling her heart skip a beat.

 

He smiled as well. "When are you free? I know you've got to work around your kids' schedules."

 

"I could do lunch again next week. Unless...I suppose my girls are old enough to babysit their younger siblings, I could maybe see you again this weekend."

 

"Whatever works for you. I'm very flexible."

 

"Saturday night?"

 

He nodded. "Can I give you my number?"

 

"Sure." She nodded, handing him her now repaired mobile so he could put his number in.

 

He input 'Doctor Basil Disco' with a guitar emoji on the end, then handed it back to her. "I'll pick you up at 7:00."

 

"Sounds like a date." She smiled, the words slipping out.  

 

"If you like." He nodded, not at all bothered by it.

 

River, on the other hand, looked shocked by the word that had slipped out, "I have to go pick up my kids." She hurried out of the cafe. The Doctor was left to pay the bill.

 


	42. The Hoper of Far-flung Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're kinda old for my Mum."
> 
> He raised an eyebrow. "Kind of old to do what exactly?"
> 
> "For a date." She crossed her arms, looking as tough as she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

**Ch 42**

 

River was still a bit shaken from the words ‘date; slipping out when she picked up the kids from school, but still managed to plaster on a happy face. "How was your history test?" She asked Freya when she got in the car. 

 

"I knew everything," Freya replied boastfully, Amelia climbing in the front seat. 

 

"Well, I'm glad to hear that." She smiled, "And how was your day?" She directed this question to Amelia. 

 

The other girl shrugged, "Okay, I guess." 

 

River nodded, not pressing the subject, "I wanted to ask how you two would feel about babysitting your siblings tomorrow night?" 

 

"Will you leave us money for takeaway?" Amelia asked. 

 

"I don't want you ordering takeaway if I'm not home, but if we get it before I leave then you can have it." River compromised. 

 

They nodded. "Okay, then." 

 

"The whole lot of you have defense class tonight and then tomorrow we have football matches all morning." She reminded, driving to Arthur's school next. 

 

"Can I just stay home? I have to read for school." Freya asked. 

 

"If you think you have to." River nodded. 

 

Arthur was waiting in front of his school, talking to a friend. River waved him over, not having a lot of time to linger since they still had to get Terra. He got in next to Freya. "Freddie says it's weird that I have so many sisters." 

 

River frowned slightly, "Why is it weird?" 

 

He shrugged as they drove off. "He said that everyone he knows has only one or two siblings and I have three  _ and  _ they’re all girls." 

 

"Well, that's not a reason to be weird." River straightened up. 

 

"He said he'd go crazy if he had that many sisters. I said he should just learn to get along with girls." 

 

“I think that was a good answer." She smiled, "But...do you wish you had a brother?" She caught his eye in the rear-view mirror. 

 

"Sometimes." He replied absently. 

 

She nodded, the car going quiet. 

 

Terra was waiting next to her teacher with her stuffed fox tightly in her arms when they pulled up. River got out of the car this time, going to physically pick up the girl since that was the rule of Terra's school. Terra was very grateful to see River, wrapping her arms around her mother's neck. 

 

River hugged her tightly, "[Is everything alright?]" She asked once her daughter pulled back. 

 

Terra nodded. "[I missed you.]" 

 

"[I missed you too.]" River smiled softly, giving her a kiss on the forehead. 

 

"[Did you see Doctor Disco today? I still want a play date.]" 

 

"[I did see him. Maybe you can come with me to my office soon and visit him, but only if you keep staying for the full day of school.]" 

 

She nodded, wanting to meet him again. "[If you bring him over then everyone can meet him.]" 

 

"[We'll see.]" River murmured, not mentioning her not-date tomorrow. 

 

River wasn't able to think too much about the impending event for the rest of the day and much of the next morning, too busy carting the children around to various activities. 

 

By the time the Saturday night rolled around, she was rushing to get ready. Of course, the children's football games had taken more time than usual so they had gotten home late. In the rush, she grabbed one of the dresses she used to wear when going on dates with her husband, out of pure instinct. 

 

The children had ordered their takeaway which was set to arrive any moment. Freya answered the door when it rang and called upstairs: "Mum! The food's here!" 

 

River hurried down the stairs to pay for the food. 

 

"Um... Mum?" Freya looked her over and she helped bring the bags to the kitchen. 

 

"Mmmhmm?" She hummed, setting the bags on the table and going over to the mirror to put her other earring in. 

 

The girl frowned.  "You're... wearing dad's favorite dress." 

 

River froze, "Oh...You're right..." Her shoulder's slumped a bit, her eyes saddening, "I should go change." 

 

The doorbell rang again. "I'll get it," Freya whispered. 

 

"No, you eat. I'll get it." River shook her head, going to the door. 

 

"No, mum, you need to change." She looked slightly upset. "You can't wear dad's favorite dress on a date." 

 

"It's not a date." River defended, though left to change. Freya took the liberty of answering the door. 

 

"Em, hello." The Doctor said. 

 

“Hi." The girl grumbled, "Are you my mum's date?"  

 

"It's not a date." He murmured. "But I am here to pick her up... are you upset?" 

 

"It looks like a date," Freya muttered, not answering his question. She stepped aside so he could come in. 

 

He stepped inside, glancing around. "Lovely house." 

 

"Thanks. Mum's upstairs changing." She looked him up and down. She and Amelia had made a pact to not to let this new "suitor" infiltrate their family and Freya had taken on a ‘bad cop’ sort of role, "You're kinda old for my Mum." 

 

He raised an eyebrow. "Kind of old to do what exactly?" 

 

"For a date." She crossed her arms, looking as tough as she could, "I'm not stupid. Mum's friends have asked her to do stuff before and she never goes. So if she's going out that means this has to be something different. Besides, she's dressed like she used to dress when my d-" She stopped, changing the words, "When she used to go on dates." 

 

"I don't think you're stupid and _ I _ didn't ask her on a date, she asked me-- and it's not a date. Adults just like to dress fancy when they go out. It's a thing." He defended, and though Freya was clearly hostile, he couldn't help but take all the bait she threw at him. "Are you concerned I'm a secret axe-murderer or something?" 

 

"You might be." She shrugged. 

 

Just then, Terra came around, her eyes lighting up when she saw the Doctor, "[Mr. Doctor!]" 

 

"[Hello there, Terra.]" He smiled at her, glad that at least one of the children was happy to see him. Freya stared at his hands, shocked that he could sign.

 

"[Can I come with you and Mummy tonight? Please! Please!]" Terra jumped up and down, clasping her hands together and giving him puppy dog eyes. 

 

He chuckled. "[I'm afraid not, poppet.]" 

 

She pouted, "[Why not?]" 

 

"[Because grownup-dinners get very boring very fast if you're not a grown up. Your sister here can vouch for that, I'm sure.]"

 

Freya nodded in agreement, though she was still very skeptical of this "not-date." 

 

"[So, how was your football match?]" He asked, voicing the question to Freya as well. 

 

“[My team won!]" Terra beamed, "[But Freya and Amelia's team lost.]" 

 

River came down the stairs then, wearing a newer dress to ensure it didn't bring back any old memories. The Doctor looked up at her. "You look lovely, Professor." 

 

She smiled weakly, casting a worried glance at Freya, "Thanks. Shall we head out?" 

 

He nodded. "It was lovely to meet you." He said to Freya. 

 

"Don't keep her out too late." She watched them as they left. 

 

"Yes, boss." He saluted, closing the door behind them. "Is she like that with all your guests?" 

 

"No, just you. You must be special." River teased lightly. 

 

They got in his car, which was blue to match the box in his office. "So, pub or restaurant?" 

 

"Either one is good. I have to admit I don't really know what's good around here. It's a bit difficult to go out to eat with all the kids." 

 

He smiled. "Well, there's a pub about five miles that way, if you want to stay close to the kiddos." He pointed. "It's got very good chips and we can yell at a football game if we please." He mostly brought up the suggestion because he had a feeling River might be more comfortable in a more casual setting-- and to prove that it wasn't a date, though that was mostly just to spite Freya.

 

"That'd be perfect." She glanced nervously back at the front door, "I don't leave them on their own very often." 

 

"Well if they need you we can leave early." 

 

She nodded, "Do you live around here?" 

 

"Actually, I live fairly close to the university. My students always tease me about how I practically live in my office." 

 

She laughed, "Is that so? That chair at your desk did look rather comfortable." 

 

"Like sitting on a cloud." He chuckled. 

 

They made casual conversation as they drove to the pub. It wasn't too crowded when they got there. Most of the people were crowded near a telly at the bar. They chose a table in the back so they could still talk. 

 

"Can I get you anything from the bar?" River asked. 

 

"I'd love a beer."

 

She nodded, going and getting a beer for each of them. He was pondering the menu when she got back. "Anything look good?" She placed one of the beers in front of him. 

 

"I've got an eye on some bangers." 

 

"Can I trust you to order for the two of us?" She raised an eyebrow, "Or shall I take a peek." 

 

"Depends on if you'll be offended if I accidentally get something horrid." 

 

She shrugged, "I like to think of myself as adventurous. Try me."  

 

"All right then." He pondered the menu with more exaggeration. 

 

She watched him closely, amused. Her eyes trailed along his face, over his eyes, nose, lips. When the waiter came by, he got the bangers, chips to share, scouse, and a small mince pie. 

 

River nodded, "Not bad. It all sounds wonderful." 

 

"Ah, good." He grinned. "I figured we can always share if you'd rather a banger than scouse." 

 

"Ooh, Sharing food. Are you trying to flirt with me Professor Disco." She joked. 

 

He scoffed playfully. "I would be much less subtle, believe me."

 

"Is that so?" She smiled, raising an eyebrow, "Something tells me you're quite a flirt."

 

"Well, what does  _ your  _ flirting look like?" He mimicked her expression. 

 

"Oh, sweetie, I don't know if you can handle  _ my _ flirting." She leaned on the table. 

 

His cheeks went slightly pink, though it was hard to tell in the awkward pub lighting. "I'll have to work my way up to it, then." 

 

"I guess you will." She smiled, licking her lips. 

 

"Is that a warning or a promise?" 

 

"A little bit of both." She drank a bit more of her beer. He took another sip as well.

 

By the time their food came, they had ordered a few more drinks. River had had quite a few drinks, deciding to treat herself since it was the first night she was "kid free" in a few months. By now, she was getting a bit tipsy, and with tipsy came flirty. While the Doctor enjoyed the flirting and flirted back some, too, he was also very aware of how River had reacted before to the notion of this being a date, so he kept a wet blanket on the sparks, so to speak. 

 

"So why do they call you the Doctor?" She purred, playing with the straw of her cocktail. 

 

"Most people do it because they think my name is too ridiculous." 

 

She smiled, nose crinkling, "Yes, Disco is an interesting last name." 

 

"Doctor Basil Disco." He said. 

 

"I think my parents were trying to be creative." 

 

She laughed a bit, "Yes, well, I understand a thing or two about being creative. It's not often you meet a Terra or a Freya." 

 

"At least those names aren't things you grow in a garden. How did you come up with them?" 

 

“Terra was my husband's mother's name, and Freya was named after Gallifrey." 

 

His eyes widened. "Gallifrey?" 

 

Her brow furrowed as if just realizing she said the name, "Yes… I believe it's an island near Ireland." 

 

He relaxed his expression. "I don't know an island could be special enough to name your daughter after." 

 

"It was my husband's idea." She muttered. 

 

"Lovely name. Makes me think of the Norse goddess, Freyja." 

 

She nodded, taking another large gulp of her drink. They ordered a bit of sticky toffee pudding when the option came up. They shared the pudding, River ordered another drink.

 

"You going to be okay in the morning?" He asked. 

 

"Are you saying I shouldn't have anymore?" She raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Only if you don't want to wake up needing a day off." She frowned, looking rather displeased at the comment. "Or not." He added. 

 

She pushed the drink off to the side, not touching it. "I'll cover the bill." She murmured. 

 

"Nonsense. It's your night off, I can get it." 

 

"I said that I've got." Her voice was firm, twinged with annoyance. 

 

"Have I upset you?" He asked. 

 

"I'm fine.

 

"You're bothered. Your daughter was too and she sounds just like you."

 

"Please stop." She sighed, paying for their meal. 

 

He shut his mouth and the soon they were headed back to his car. River was quiet on the ride back to her house. They listened to a bit of radio, which was just classical music, but filled the silence the Doctor was sure he'd caused somehow. 

 

"Thanks for taking me out tonight." River murmured once they pulled up to her house. 

 

"My pleasure." He said in the same tone. It was true despite how it was ending. "I'll see you Monday I suppose?" 

 

"I guess so." She nodded, going to open the door of the car. He watched to make sure she made it inside her house alright, then drove off. 


	43. Doctor Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things were piecing themselves together in unreadable shapes; Doctor Disco was familiar, but a stranger. He knew things about her, odd things like her favorite scones, how she took her tea. And now the drawings... she had a feeling about them, yet she had never seen them before. It didn't make sense and she just wanted to get away from it. Get her daughter away from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the Doctor slips up.
> 
> Good luck with school if you're starting that. Enjoy.

**Ch 43**

 

The next week, River didn't talk much to the Doctor. He brought her tea on Friday, which seemed to be a regular thing now, though left it on her desk since she wasn't there at when he was. 

 

Terra continuously asked about how the dinner went, wanting details. The twins' questions mostly revolved around the Doctor's background, and Arthur showed little interest at all. 

 

River kept assuring the older girls that it was not a date. She gave Terra very few details but promised she could come with her on Monday since Terra's school wasn't in session on Monday. Terra was delighted at this, having loved sitting in on River's work the last time. Seeing Basil again was an added bonus. 

 

Monday morning, after the older children had been dropped off at school, River and Terra went to the University. 

 

Terra immediately went to knock on Doctor Disco's door. There was a moment before the door opened, revealing the Doctor with a pocket watch in his hand.

 

"[Mr. Doctor!]" Terra beamed. 

 

He pocketed the watch. "[Hello, Terra. What a pleasant surprise.]" 

 

"[I get to visit you today because I went to school every day last week!]" She beamed. 

 

"[Good job, poppet.]" He glanced up at River. River had been watching him, though her eyes, quickly darted away when he looked at her. "[I'd say you earned another sweetie.]" 

 

Terra held her hands out expectantly. The Doctor disappeared inside his office for a moment, coming back with a cherry lollipop. 

 

"[Thank you!]" She beamed, bouncing up and down as he handed it to her. 

 

"[You're welcome. Are you sitting in on your mum's classes again, or this just a short visit?]" 

 

"[I'm with Mummy for class. She said she has two classes today.]" 

 

"[Yes, uni classes are long, so we don't have to teach usually more than three in one day.]" 

 

"[That's lucky! I have so many classes!]" She huffed.

 

"[Do you like them at all?]" He inquired. 

 

She thought for a bit, "[I like reading class. And I like when we learn about animals in science class.]"

 

”[I like science class, too.]" He grinned. "[What's your favorite animal?]" 

 

"[Dogs, like Toby.]" She beamed, "[And foxes, like the Doctor.]" She shrugged her backpack off her shoulders, pulling the stuffed fox out of her bag, "[And Varqrid!]" She pulled a notebook out of her bag that was full of messy drawings, flipping to a page and showing him a drawing of a "varqrid." 

 

The Doctor gently took the drawing, looking at it with awe at the accuracy to what varqrids really looked like. "[Did you... invent this?]" 

 

Terra nodded. 

 

"[It's brilliant]" He beamed at her.

 

"[I can draw you some pictures if you want.]" She beamed. 

 

"[I would love that.]" He accepted. 

 

She plopped right down on the floor, pulling crayons to start drawing on the spot. He chuckled. "[Perhaps you should set up shop when you're settled in you mum's lecture hall?]" 

 

"[But I like it here.]" She protested.  

 

"[In the middle of the hall?]" 

 

Terra nodded. He looked up at River again. "You two are welcome to come into my office." 

 

"I have papers to grade." River crossed her arms, though Terra's eyes lit up. 

 

"[Can you bring them into his office. Please, Mummy? I want to see it!]" She begged her mother. 

 

River sighed, "[Alright, fine.]" 

 

Excitedly, Terra gathered her things and went right into the Doctor's office. River walked in behind her, somewhat glaring at the Doctor. The Doctor continued to wear his polite, kind expression. 

 

Terra was amazed at all the things in the office. "[It's like a house in here!]” 

 

River sat down at his desk to grade her papers as her daughter bounced around the room. 

 

"[What are these?]" Terra asked, looking at the trinkets on the desk. 

 

"[Ah, well, these are pens and pen lights.]" He pointed to the cup of electronic-wand-looking things. There was still only one picture on the desk and space where the other had been. "[That's a sculpture of a... thing.]" He pointed a glass bell jar with a culture of sticks and balls inside. "[A student gave it to me. And that's a snow globe.]" 

 

“[Who's that in the picture?]" Terra asked. It was a black and white photo of a young woman with short, dark hair and a leather cap. 

 

"[She was my... family.]"

 

River's eyes darted up from the paper she was reading to the picture for a moment. 

 

Terra quickly moved on, looking at all the books. The Doctor got down all the books Terra wanted to look at the covers of. River kept her eyes on them, not getting much grading done. Terra loved all the pretty covers with strange patterns and languages. She even flipped through a few that were more picture heavy, asking if she could borrow some, which the Doctor agreed to. 

 

"[Can you color with me?]" Terra asked, wanting to copy one of the drawings in the books. 

 

He nodded. "[I'd love to.]" 

 

She handed him some crayons, opening up to two blank pages so he could draw on one and she could draw on the other. 

 

He chose a blue crayon. On his paper, he made circular patterns like the ones in his books, but he seemed to know how to do them perfectly without reference. 

 

Terra watched him, "[Can you teach me how to do that?]" 

 

He nodded. "[It's a bit complicated.]" 

 

"[I want to learn!]" 

 

"[Well it's easiest the think of it as a language. Each circle is a word and each little bit in the circle is a sou-- a letter.]" 

 

As he described the process, he was aware of movement behind him. He didn’t quite realize River had gotten up until she was directly above them.

 

"What are you doing??" River sounded angry and frightened, "Stop doing that! Get away from her!" 

 

The Doctor stood quickly, startled and taking a good step back from a very confused Terra. "[He was just teaching me, Mummy! What's wrong? I want to learn the pattern!]" Neither of them knew what the Doctor was doing wrong. 

 

River rushed to her daughter, hugging her tightly, staring at the strange letters. 

 

The… ‘language’. 

 

It was strange, but something deep within her mind screamed at her to be afraid of those patterns...words...whatever they were. 

 

She looked from the words to the Doctor, letting these unfamiliar instincts take over. She was unable to rationalize where these feeling were coming from or why she felt them, but she was already giving him a look that could kill a man. 

 

He had dropped the crayon, hands visible by his side. "Sorry." He whispered, in shock by her reaction. "I won't teach her those patterns anymore if you don't want it." 

 

"No, you won't. You're going to stay away from her or so help me I--" She was shaking, holding Terra tighter. River looked back down at the paper, at the pattern he had been drawing, "What does that mean?" 

 

"It's just a pattern. Why would it mean anything?" 

 

"It  _ means  _ something! I know it does! Why won't you tell me?!" She was shouting again. 

 

Terra squirmed uncomfortably. 

 

"It means 'I miss you'," he whispered. 

 

"Why would you write that? Where did you even--who even--don’t bollocks your way out of this until you tell me who the hell you are!" 

 

"I'm Doctor Basil Disco. I'm the physics teacher whose office is across from yours." He said as level as he could, taking a breath. "And I wrote it because it's true. The woman in the picture Terra asked about. I miss her. And I miss... other people who are no longer in my life for reasons that I'd rather not discuss." 

 

River took a slow breath, stepping out of herself for a moment, now horrified at herself and her outburst. Completely embarrassed and honestly still shaken, though she still couldn't place why, she quickly collected her papers and Terra's things, making sure to leave the Doctor's books behind, "[Come on, Terra, love. Let's go.]" 

 

"[Why? What happened, why were you mad? He wasn't done teaching me!]" Terra had missed pretty much the whole spoken conversation, still confused and upset. 

 

"[Let's go get ice cream for lunch!]" River tried to smile, trying to pull her daughter out of the room. 

 

"[But my books! He was letting me borrow them.]" Terra was not having it, resisting River's direction. 

 

"[I'll buy you new books! Better books! I'll buy you anything you want at the toy store.]" She tried again, looking a bit desperate. 

 

"[I don't want new toys.]" She looked now like she might start crying. "[I want to know why you're making Mr. Doctor go away!]" 

 

"[Terra, please! Just come with me. Come with mummy.]" 

 

River couldn't explain because she didn't really have an explanation except for that the drawings had scared her and now  _ he  _ scared her. 

 

Things were piecing themselves together in unreadable shapes; Doctor Disco was familiar, but a stranger. He knew things about her, odd things like her favorite scones, how she took her tea. And now the drawings... she had a feeling about them, yet she had never seen them before. It didn't make sense and she just wanted to get away from it. Get her daughter away from it. 

 

Terra started crying, not liking being yelled at and not liking that she didn't know what was going on or why her mother was acting so strangely. It had all been fine until suddenly it wasn't and the confusion was too overwhelming for her. She plopped down on the floor and started sobbing. 

 

The Doctor would have helped, but he knew River wanted him far away right now. 

 

River felt her chest tighten at the sight of her daughter crying, instantly trying to sooth her. She wished there was someone there, someone besides Doctor Basil Disco, the man that made her head hurt with all his odd familiarities. She had made her daughter  _ cry _ , something she normally worked very  _ very _ hard to prevent. 

 

It felt like a confirmation that she was no good at being a parent. She had always been unsure of herself with children, her husband knew that even when the twins had been born. Unquestionably, she loved her children to death and did her best to be the mother they deserved, but she had shortcomings. A lot of them, actually. But _ he’d _ been there. He’d always been there to tie off all the strings she missed and ease her worries and  _ help _ . They were parents  _ together _ .

 

Now he’d been dead for over a year and every loose end she had felt like ropes and ropes of her inabilities. She needed someone there to help. She needed her husband. He’d never let their children feel unheard and he’d certainly never be unobservant enough to push them to the point of crying.

 

"[I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.]" River signed to her distraught child, her hands still trembling. 

 

Terra reached out for River, nose running and tears streaming down her face in big rolls. At this point, she was blinded by so much confusion that she hardly knew where it came from anymore, and River was the only familiar thing close enough to cling onto. 

 

River scooped her up, holding her tightly, humming in an attempt to comfort her. Her knees felt weak and she didn't dare look in the direction of the Doctor. The girl buried her face in her mother's neck, whimpering. River rocked her back and forth.

 

As much as she wanted to leave, she couldn't carry the little girl and her belongings all at once. It was a little while before Terra started to calm, having pretty much exhausted herself out. 

 

"[Can you go back to my office? You can take a nap on the sofa.]" River asked her. By now, she had decided to cancel her lectures for the day. She'd email her students and tell them she was holding office hours instead, though no one ever came to those so it would be a good time to let Terra nap while she graded papers. 

 

The girl nodded meekly, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "[You're not going to make Mr. Doctor go away forever, are you?]" 

 

"[We'll talk about it later.]" River kissed her forehead, "[Go on, I'm right behind you, I just have to bring all of our things.]"

 

Terra waved a sorrowful goodbye to the Doctor, then dragged herself back to River's office. River started getting the rest of Terra's things, as well as her own. 

 

The Doctor watched in silence, regretting having ever kept the Gallifreyan books in his office. 

 

River left without a word, going back to her office. She helped Terra get comfortable on the settee, draping a blanket over her and giving her her fox stuffed animal. 

 

"[Is Mr. Doctor in trouble with you?]" Terra asked sleepily. 

 

"[I'm afraid so.]" She whispered, settling in a chair next to the settee with the papers she needed to grade, "[Don't worry, darling. I'll work it out.]" 

 

"[Do you promise you will? You promise you'll be friends again?]"

 

"[I can't promise, but I'll try my best.]" She stroked her daughter's hair back, "[I love you very much and I'm sorry for upsetting you.]" 

 

Terra stuck her thumb in her mouth. "[What did he do wrong?]" 

 

She sighed, "[Those...patterns that he was teaching you, they mean things. When I asked what they meant, he lied to me at first.]" She explained. 

 

Terra frowned. "[How come?]”

 

"[I don't know, sweetie. Get some rest now.]" Obediently, Terra closed her eyes, hugging her fox close. 

 

River spent the next few hours getting work done. She was interrupted for a little while by a visit from Nardole, one of her assistants-turned-friend. He didn't stay for long and she quickly found herself alone with Terra again. 

 

The girl woke a bit past noon and complained that she was hungry. River decided to take her to the cafe she had visited with the Doctor so they could get lunch. Terra brought her fox with her, holding it and her mother's hand tightly. 

 

River got them both sandwiches, a juice for Terra and tea for herself. She also let Terra get a cookie as a special treat. Though Terra wasn't as talkative as normal, the treat and the lunch seemed to be cheering her up. River was glad that her daughter seemed to be feeling even just a little bit better. 

 

They headed back to River's office, packing up their things. Terra looked longingly in the direction of Doctor Disco's office. "[Why can't I borrow any of his books?]" 

 

"[Because they have things inside them that I don't want you to read.]" She murmured. 

 

"[Like what?]" She pressed.

 

"[I don't want to talk about it.]" 

 

Terra sighed but didn't ask again. 


	44. The Seconds in Eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If someone in red robes tries to approach you, you might want to channel those things you have listed under special skills."
> 
> She just stared at him like he was insane, "Stay away from me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

**Ch 44**

 

The next day, River went straight to the Doctor's office. The door was open, but no one was inside. "Professor Disco?" River called, stepping into the office. There was no response, the office empty. She frowned, deciding to wait for him. 

 

As she waited, she went to investigate the books on the shelves. She didn't take any down, just read the titles. There were books of all kinds one could imagine: books that looked impossibly old, books that looked like a bunch of drawing pretending to be books, and spots on the shelf where books should have been but weren't. River frowned at the missing holes, the sight only deepening her feeling that the Doctor was hiding something. 

 

It was a while before the man came back to his office. A girl was with him, the chip server in the canteen, and they sounded like they were talking about schedules. 

 

River cleared her throat to make them aware of her presence. The Doctor looked up, "Oh. Professor Song," he said, the girl with him giving a wave. 

 

River gave her a half-hearted smile, "Can I talk to you about something in private? Or should I come back later?" 

 

"Now is fine, we were just finishing up." He turned to the girl. "I'll see you at 6 pm every weekday. I don't care who's dying, never, ever be late. I'm very particular about time." 

 

The chip server nodded, looking a bit stunned. She turned to leave, then paused, "Oh, em.... people just call you the Doctor. What do I call you?" 

 

"The Doctor." He replied like it was obvious. 

 

"But that's not a name. Doctor What?" 

 

He glared for a moment like she'd just said something offensive, "If you like. I'll see you later." 

 

She nodded once more, quickly running out of the room with a big grin. 

 

He turned his attention back to River. "So, is breaking and entering your new hobby?" 

 

She shrugged, "It's one of my many talents. I have it listed on my resume under special skills, among other things..." Her tone was sweet, but there was unmistakable poison weaved in.

 

"Remind me not to get on your bad side," he said, though quickly frowned at his words. "...Or perhaps that's why you're here." 

 

"Yes, it is." Her expression hardened a bit, "I wanted to know why you lied to me yesterday." 

 

"You'll have to be a little more specific." He moved to sit at his desk. 

 

She raised her eyebrow, "Are you saying you lied to me multiple times yesterday?" 

 

"Yes, as a matter of fact, every word that comes out of my mouth is a lie." He said dryly. 

 

"Does the sarcasm help?" She huffed.

 

“Wouldn’t it be a great universe if it did?”

 

There was silence for a moment.

 

"When I asked you what those circles mean at first you said they meant nothing. Why?" River pressed. 

 

"Short answer: because it didn't mean anything in the language it was meant to be in.” The Doctor reached for a pen, held it for a moment then put it back. “I was using the symbols  _ phonetically _ so it sounded like English words if read allowed, but in its own language it was nonsense." 

 

"What's the long answer?" She crossed her arms. 

 

He looked at the wall, taking a moment before speaking. "That it was my personal business and I didn't feel like explaining it to you, yet you insisted I did." 

 

"Your personal business became  _ my  _ personal business when you chose to involve my daughter!" She snapped at him.  

 

He didn't seem at all phased by her tone, putting his feet up on his desk. " _ She  _ asked  _ me _ . She saw me drawing and wanted to know how to do it. What did you expect me to do? Say, "Well actually these circle things here are only for adults to draw and you can't do it because I said so,"?" 

 

"I don't understand why you'd want to do draw in front of her the first place if it's so personal! She's a child, children ask questions, you should know that." River was getting angrier, "So don't you  _ dare _ blame her,  _ you _ were the adult in the situation. If you wanted to keep it private then you should have known better." 

 

"Fine. I should have known better and written something like "sunshine and rainbows"." The words were in the shape of an apology, but his tone very much wasn't. "I expected the questions. What I wasn't expecting was you to get so worked up about a bunch of circles. Want to share with the class about that one, Professor?" 

 

"That's my personal business." She mimicked his earlier answer with a growl. 

 

"Not when you chose to involve me in it." He mimicked right back. 

 

Her gaze seemed to lose all form of kindness, immediately jumping to defense. "You know, Professor Disco, now that I think about it, it's not the circles that's the problem. It's  _ you _ . There is something off about you. You know things about me that you shouldn't. Sometimes you act like you've known me forever and you hide things from me. You lie to me. I won't tolerate that. I want you to stay away from me and my children from now on. They have been through enough as it is and they don't need you making thing more complicated." 

 

This was the first thing she said that seemed to make any impact on him. His face fell and he took his feet off the desk, jaw clenched. "What's so complicated about me?" 

 

"It doesn't matter. This conversation is over." She turned to leave. 

 

"River, wait," he said urgently. She paused, turning back. 

 

He swallowed. He had no idea how seriously she felt about this, and if it was what he thought, then watching over the Songs was about to get a lot more difficult. "If someone in red robes tries to approach you, you might want to channel those things you have listed under special skills." 

 

She just stared at him like he was insane, "Stay away from me." 

 

He tensed, saying nothing more. 

 

-x-

 

River spent much of the next few weeks trying to forget about the man across the hall. She managed to distract Terra enough so that she asked to see him less frequently. 

 

As the Song children immersed themselves in various after-school activities, River dove into work. She tried to socialize more, even having Nardole babysit for her (much to the twins' dismay) a few times so she could get coffee with one of the other professors in her department, Ramone. 

 

Ramone was a handsome man but a pushover. He cringed at any talk of violence or gossip, and when it came to River's children, none of them could say they liked him very much-- especially Terra, though she might have been biased because he didn't know any sign. 

 

He brought River tea in the mornings, but he never could but the right amount of milk and sugar in it. The children liked to play pranks on him whenever he was in the house, partially because it was so easy and partially because they wanted to get rid of him. 

 

Despite River’s efforts, Terra started asking more frequently about 'Mr. Doctor' and by spring she was tricking to nurse to let her go home again. 

 

River was with Ramone in her office on one of the mornings that Terra wanted to be picked up. She didn’t bring him around the house much, and when she did their relationship was as friendly as she could manage. Of course, things were a bit different when they were alone, but River knew it was only a fling, a way to release pent up energy and have some adult time. 

 

The nurse on the phone said Terra seemed to have a head cold, and Ramone looked none too happy about being interrupted. River sighed, agreeing to pick the girl up. 

 

"We can finish up later tonight at your place." River purred, as she gathered her clothes, "Sound good?" 

 

"It's a long wait." He muttered. "But I think I can make it." 

 

"Do you need something to hold you over?" She teased. 

 

"I wouldn't turn it down." He looked hopeful. 

 

She gave him a long, deep kiss, fingers tangling in his hair. An eager participant, he put the same energy in. She sucked on his lower lip, humming into the kiss before pulling away, "Better?"  

 

He looked utterly smitten and almost hypnotized as he nodded. 

 

"Walk me to my car." She smiled, pulling on her top. 

 

He nodded obediently again, taking her hand. She let him lead her out of the office, fixing her hair as they walked through the door. 

 

Students and faculty gave them stares as they walked. Ramone had recently been referring to River as his girlfriend, an indication that he was much more serious about them than River was. River didn't really care what everyone else thought. 

 

No one really knew anything about her, the only person that knew about her past, her husband, her real life, was Doctor Disco, and River hardly ever saw him anymore.  The Doctor was exceptionally good at avoiding River and keeping out of her way. He never seemed to be in his office when River was in hers. The only hint that he was still using it was Bill, who went in there every day at 6:00. 

 

Ramone and River never talked much about the Doctor, except Ramone's occasional complaints that all their other co-workers wouldn't shut up about how interesting the man was. 

 

Once they were at River's car, she gave Ramone another not so chaste kiss, promising to see him later that night. 

 

At the primary school, it seemed Terra wasn't faking her illness. 

 

"[Oh, sweetheart.]" River murmured, immediately collecting the girl in her arms, "[Are you alright?]" 

 

"[Don't feel good.]" Terra signed lethargically. 

 

"[Okay, Mummy will take you home.]" She murmured, kissing her temple. 

 

"[Can we go to your work?]" 

 

"[Why? Let's go home so you can rest.]" 

 

"[I want to see Mr. Doctor. He'll give me a sweetie.]" 

 

"[But you're sick, darling. Home is better.]" 

 

Terra looked disappointed, putting her head down on River's shoulder. River hummed softly, bringing the girl home. 

 

Terra complained all afternoon about her symptoms, not giving River much of a break. River did her best to soothe the girl's complaints, finally getting a break to call Ramone while Terra napped. He sounded very eager about tonight on the phone. 

 

"I'm sorry, love, but I can't come tonight. Terra's sick." 

 

Ramone's tone immediately fell. "Are you sure you can't get a sitter?" 

 

"I'm sure." She murmured, "She's pretty ill, I can't leave her." 

 

He sighed. "Well... Raincheck then?" 

 

"Yeah. Could you stop by my office early tomorrow?" She asked. 

 

"I'd love that." he agreed. 

 

"Okay. I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow." 

 

They ended their conversation as Terra started waking up from her nap. 

 

"[How are you feeling?]" River asked softly. 

 

"[My head hurts.]" She pouted. 

 

"[Do you want some medicine?]" 

 

She nodded. "[Can I watch telly, too?]" 

 

"[Of course, darling.]" River got up to turn the TV on, then got the medicine. Terra stuck her thumb in her mouth, Toby coming over to cuddle with her as she settled by the TV.

 

When it was time to pick up the other children, Terra asked if she could stay home. River wouldn't let her, Terra was much too young for that. Grumpily and reluctantly, Terra got into the car with River.

 

River drove to get the other kids, keeping an eye on Terra in the back seat. Terra stared out the window for the most part, until something caught her eye a few blocks from the school. 

 

The car passed too quickly for River to get a good look, but Terra turned to her. "[That man was wearing funny clothes.]" 

 

"[What kind of funny clothes, dear?]" River asked.  

 

["Big red robes.]" She answered. 

 

River frowned, remembering the Doctor mentioning something about red robes that last time they spoke. 

 

"[Maybe he's part of a play.]" Terra guessed. 

 

"[Maybe.]" She smiled weakly, continuing the drive. 

 

Freya and Amelia were chatty when they were picked up. Their birthday was in a week and they wanted a slumber party. River was happy to let them chatter away as they went to pick up Arthur. 

 

Arthur was interested in the man Terra described to him, helping theorize about his costume. River smiled softly, not thinking much of this red robed man. She drove the children home, half listening to their chatter. 

 

Terra started complaining again, this time about a sore throat.  River tried to calm her, trying a different medicine to make her feel better. For the most part, it seemed to work, though it was looking like she'd need to stay home from school tomorrow. 

 

River was sitting on the couch with Terra’s head in her lap, humming softly. The other children were doing homework and the television was playing Terra's favorite movie. River texted Ramone to let him know she probably wouldn't be in tomorrow either. 

 

"[Mummy, when are we going to go back to London to visit Uncle Jack?]" Tera asked.

 

"[Maybe when you're all on summer holiday we can spend some time with him.]"She smiled softly, "[That'd be nice, yeah?]" 

 

"[Can't it be sooner? We haven't seen him in forever!]" 

 

"[We can try but I can't promise anything.]" 

 

"[And Auntie Clara, too?]" Terra looked hopeful. 

 

"[Of course.]" River nodded. 

 

She smiled then looked a bit sad. "[I miss them.]" 

 

"[I miss them too, but we also got to make lots of new friends here. Like Nardole and Mr. Ramone.]" She tried to cheer the girl up. 

 

"[I don't like Mr. Ramone.]" Terra wrinkled her nose. 

 

River frowned slightly, "[Why not?]" 

 

"[He's boring and he doesn't play and he can't sign.]" 

 

"And I don't think he likes kids that much," Freya added, having been watching the conversation. 

 

"[Well, maybe we can teach him sign. And he's just not used to being around kids. Some people feel a bit strange when they're put in a situation they're not used to.]" She tried to defend the man. 

 

"He's a teacher. He  _ should  _ be used to kids by now." Freya said.

 

"He's a Uni teacher, it's different." 

 

Freya shrugged. "You two don't have very much in common." 

 

River sighed, "Well, the next time he comes over can you be a bit nicer to him?" 

 

Freya didn't answer, turning back to her homework. River closed her eyes, a bit frustrated. 

 

Terra tapped her arm. "[Will you bring Mr. Doctor over?]" 

 

"[Terra, Mr. Doctor and I aren't friends anymore.]" 

 

"[Why not?]" She frowned. 

 

"[Because we had an argument and I think it would be best for our family if we stayed away from him.]" 

 

"[But what did he do? He's not bad, he's nice!]" 

 

“[I'm not discussing this now. I said we're not seeing him anymore.]" She was firm on this. 

 

Terra looked much more upset than her indifferent older siblings. "[It's not fair! You said you'd make it up with him.]" 

 

"[I said I'd try. I didn't promise anything.]" 

 

"[You hafta try harder then.]" 

 

"[No, Terra. This is not up for discussion.]" 

 

"[He wasn't even that great.]" Amelia added, trying to help out her mum. 

 

River nodded, "[I promise there will be other people in the world that know how to sign. And we can teach the friends we make that don't know. Like Nardole, he's getting very good at sign, yeah?]" 

 

"[It's not the same. They're not the same! We didn't have to teach Mr. Doctor, he just knew! He knew  _ everything  _ and he was funny and kind.]" 

 

"[Terra, stop!]" River's mobile began to ring, "[I'm not discussing this anymore.]" 

 

Crossing her arms and sitting up and away from her mother, Terra scowled. 

 

River turned away, going to answer her phone. It was Nardole on the line. River had missed a meeting today to care for Terra, and he was to fill her in on what she missed. She thanked him, starting on dinner after getting off the phone. 

 

Terra was put to bed early that night, and Arthur not long after. River let the twins stay up and watch their favorite show, though they had to go to bed not long after that was over. 

 

River had talked to Ramone before dinner, inviting him over for wine after the kids had gone to bed. She had made sure all they were sleeping, going down to let him in. "Hello, there." She purred. 

 

He was wearing an indigo leather jacket, trying to look alluring by leaning against the door frame but couldn't help a huge grin at the sight of her. "Changed your mind about tonight, then?" 

 

"Careful, tiger, the kids are upstairs." She smiled, tugging him into the house. 

 

Ramone may not have been terribly intellectually stimulating, but he was certainly easy on the eyes. "Suppose we'd better be quiet then." 

 

The distance between them was suddenly close to nothing and he dropped a kiss to her mouth. She giggled, pressing her body up against his. He wrapped his arms around her, going to a longer kiss. 

 

"Don't you want a glass of wine?" She gasped, once they finally broke apart. 

 

"There are a number of things a want," he hummed suggestively. "I think wine is second on the list." 

 

"Bedroom. Now." She tugged him quietly up the stairs and into her room, locking the door behind them. 


	45. With Neither Crown, Nor Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Will you please explain to me why there is a man in red robes unconscious on my doorstep!" River shouted into the phone.
> 
> "Maybe he's taking a nap," replied the Doctor nonchalantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 45**

 

Ramone ended up staying the night at River’s, the two content under River's sheets in the morning until knocking on the door woke them up. 

 

"Go hide in my closet and be quiet." River murmured, giving him a kiss and throwing on her robe to answer the door. 

 

Ramone did sleepily as he was told. Arthur was on the other side of the door, all dressed. 

 

"Are you ready for school?" River asked, "Nardole said he'd drive you today." 

 

"I need breakfast and my lunch." He informed her. "Freya won't help me with mine." 

 

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute. Let me just get dressed first." She kissed his forehead. 

 

"Terra won't let me wake her up. She says she doesn't' feel good." He added. 

 

"I know, Terra's not going to school today."

 

"Oh." He nodded, then went downstairs. 

 

River went back into the room, locking the door and going to her closet. Ramone peeked out, still clad in nothing. 

 

"Nardole's going to take the kids to school and Terra's staying home. You can stay if you want though." She murmured, "We could take a shower together once I get the kids out the door." 

 

Ramone shook his head. "I'm afraid I've got a meeting today." 

 

River pouted, "Can't you skip?" She moved in a bit closer, pressing kisses to his jaw and neck, "You could call in sick." 

 

He very nearly purred at that. "Well... I might be able to swing a late morning." 

 

She smiled, "I'll go get the kids ready. Be back in a tick." He nodded, slipping back into the bed. 

 

River woke Terra and went downstairs to feed all the children and get them ready for school. She then got them situated with Nardole, waving them off. Terra quickly fell asleep on the couch again after another round of medicine and her favorite cartoon. 

 

Upstairs, River and Ramone's shower evolved quickly into something more physical, though they didn't have to control their volume as much this time. 

 

"Better than a meeting?" River teased, her legs still wrapped tightly around the man's waist as the water poured over them. 

 

"In every way possible." He panted, forehead pressed against her neck. 

 

She laughed, "Have I tired you out?" 

 

"Only a little." He assured. 

 

"I should check on Terra." She murmured.  

 

"She's fine." He hummed. "Stay?" 

 

"Give me a reason to." Her eyes glinted mischievously. He grinned knowingly and moved his head lower.

 

Downstairs, Terra stirred from her nap. She blinked a few times and looked to the window, frowning when she saw the movement of shadows. 

 

She climbed off the couch and padded over to the door to peek out of the envelope slot. There was a man at the door, one wearing the funny clothes she'd seen yesterday. Terra could feel the door being knocked against, though wondered why no one was coming to answer it. River had taught her children never to open the door for strangers. They were always supposed to come find their mother if someone was at the door who they didn’t know. 

 

Upstairs, River's pleasure was interrupted with a strong urge to go check on her daughter. "Get dressed." River breathed to Ramone. She was already wiggling out from beneath him, grabbing for a towel.  

 

"What-- now? We're in the middle of something..." He pouted. 

 

"Something doesn't feel right." As soon as she emerged from the bathroom, she could hear the knocking, practically flying down the stairs once she was dressed.  

 

Terra was still staring out of the mail slot when suddenly the man at the door leaned down to stare back at her. She screamed, nearly falling backward in in fright. 

 

"Terra!" River cried, reaching the bottom of the stairs and catching her. She stood protectively in front of her daughter before opening the door. 

 

The man in the doorway straightened up with a cold expression. "Is this the Song residence?" 

 

"Yes. Why? Who are you?" River frowned. He didn’t look like any salesman she’d ever seen.

 

Un-answering, the man drew a machine from his pocket. He looked like he was about scan her with it when suddenly there was a loud clang, and the man dropped unconscious. Behind him, Nardole stood with a raised frying pan. 

 

River stared at him in shock, "Nardole?" 

 

"Oh hello, Professor," Nardole said surprisingly cheerfully and handed her the frying pan. "I brought your car back." 

 

River took the frying pan, "Do you know this man? What's going on?" 

 

"Well no, not exactly, but I was told that if I saw him I should use any means to make sure he doesn't go near you and you left that in your car." He gestured to the pan.  

 

"Told by who?" She frowned, Ramone came clambering down the stairs at that moment, fully dressed this time. 

 

"I would check him for weapons." Nardole nudged the limp body with his foot, avoiding the question. 

 

"Nardole." River pressed, her tone had a bit of an edge to it. 

 

"[Hello, Terra!]" He continued to ignore River. "[Sorry about the fright.]" 

 

"It was the Doctor, wasn't it." River was getting angrier. She stormed back inside and grabbed her mobile off the kitchen table, calling the man whose number she still had. 

 

It rang nearly to the end before a Scottish voice picked up. "Hello?" 

 

"Will you please explain to me why there is a man in red robes unconscious on my doorstep!" River shouted into the phone. 

 

"Maybe he's taking a nap," replied the Doctor nonchalantly. 

 

"Not funny." She growled. 

 

"Well then, guess number two is that somebody knocked him out." 

 

"You're infuriating." She hissed at him, "Absolutely infuriating." 

 

"If you wanted a specific answer, then ask a more specific question, because I have very little context to go on here." 

 

"You told me to watch out people wearing red robes. A man showed up at my door wearing red robes today and Nardole knocked him unconscious, under your orders I presume. My question is what the hell is going on? Is this some sort of stupid game that you're trying to play because it's not funny." 

 

"I don't take violence as a game, Professor Song. The man on your doorstep  _ is  _ dangerous, and that is the truth." He sighed. "Fine, yes. I did send Nardole. I had a feeling you'd prefer his daring feat of heroism over mine." 

 

"Who is he? What does he want with me?" She frowned at the mention of the man being dangerous.  

 

"You'd never believe me if I told you." He muttered. 

 

"Terra's home from school today. Is she safe?" River was getting more concerned, "If that man is dangerous… what happens when he wakes up?" 

 

"I suggest you tie him up and take his possessions before he does." 

 

"Doctor, are my kids safe?" She repeated, more urgently this time. 

 

"As safe at school as they are at home." 

 

She took that to mean not very safe at all, "Where am I supposed to bring them? Where will they be okay?" 

 

"Well optimally under supervision but away from that man." 

 

"I don't have anywhere else to go." She was trying to stay calm, "They know where I live so it's not safe here, but I have nowhere else to bring them." 

 

"I'd volunteer my services if you could stomach seeing my face." He replied quicker than he’d meant to.

 

She hesitated, then finally agreed, "Okay, but only because I have to keep my kids safe." 

 

"Right then. Meet me at my office." 

 

"Okay, I'll be there soon." She hung up the phone. "Nardole! I need you to tie this man up and search him for weapons. Then I want you to pack a bag for the kids and meet me at the university. Ramone, I need you to drive me to there, but we need to pick up my kids first." 

 

"Are you going to explain what's going on?" Ramone was confused, trying to help a seemingly relaxed Nardole drag the robed man inside. 

 

"I'll try my best, but I can't say I really understand it either." She murmured, gathering medicine for Terra and her stuffed animals. 

 

They set their unwanted guest in a kitchen chair, finding a rope which Nardole got to immediate work with. 

 

"Come on, darling. We need to go." River murmured to Terra, pulling on Ramone's arm. Terra clung to River's hand, just as confused at her adult counterparts. 

 

They picked up the three other children, River explaining what little she knew. None of the children knew what to think about the situation, all of them worried. The twins were slightly distracted by Ramone's presence, not liking that he had clearly been at the house. Terra was relatively calm knowing that they were going to visit the Doctor. 

 

When they arrived at the university, Terra clung to her mother, starting to feel ill again. The Song family plus Ramone walked to the Doctor's office. 

 

The Doctor frowned in the direction of Ramone. "Why've you brought him?" 

 

"He was at my house this morning and he drove me here. Jealous?" She raised an eyebrow.  

 

"Who said anything about being jealous?" He defended. 

 

She shrugged, "Just asking." 

 

He coughed, "Well, he can go now." 

 

"I'm not going anywhere." Ramone shook his head, wrapping an arm around River's waist, "Not until I know that she's safe." 

 

The Doctor’s jaw tightened. "She's safe in here, she always will be. You're just going to be in the way if you stay." 

 

Ramone huffed, pulling River closer and murmuring something in her ear. He glared slightly at the Doctor, "Keep her safe." He then left. 

 

The Doctor crossed his arms muttering something that sounded like 'pudding brain' before counting the number of occupants the room now had. "The whole gang is here, I see." 

 

Terra whimpered in her mother’s arms, forehead damp with sweat. 

 

"Is she alright?" He asked. 

 

"No." River answered worriedly, touching the girl's forehead "She came home yesterday with a head cold, but it's only been getting worse. She's got a fever now." 

 

He made a sympathetic sound. "I've got some pillows somewhere if she wants to lie down." 

 

"That would be good." River nodded, rocking the girl slowly. The other children looked around the office, checking out the books and the strange blue box in the corner. 

 

The Doctor found some pillows and a light blanket for the girl, helping get her settled in the library area. Terra reached out for his hand, happy that she was getting to see the man that reminded her of her father. 

 

He looked at River, not sure if she would allow him to oblige. River didn't say anything, giving silent permission.  The Doctor held the little girl's hand, feeling warmer. "I rather think I owe you a more detailed explanation about all of this." 

 

"Yes, you do." River nodded. 

 

He paused for a moment. "John Smith." He whispered. "How did he die? What were you told?" 

 

She immediately tensed at the mention of her husband's name, "What? How is that relevant?"  

 

"Because if I'm going to explain this then I'm going to explain it my way. What were you told?" 

 

"He died while on a work trip. It was an explosion...or a fire...they would never be specific with me, but they told me there was no body." She stared at him, still wondering how he even knew who her husband was. She was sure she had never mentioned his name. 

 

"Completely off the mark about that." He shook his head. "I met John that week. Funny man, he wouldn't shut up about you. He wanted me to know every damn reason he married you right down to how you take your tea." 

 

She could feel her eyes welling up with tears, though she tried hard to fight them back, "Why didn't you tell me this before?" 

 

"Because I'm not supposed to be interfering in your life. He wanted me to keep an eye on you lot and try to make sure none of you got caught up in the mess he got himself into. I was trying to avoid all," he made a vague hand gesture, "this. I thought I might be able to avoid explaining the true circumstances of John's death, spare your feelings." 

 

"What happened to him?" River whispered, "Please, I need to know." 

 

" _ They  _ happened to him." He murmured, referring to the people in the red robes. "He should've have assumed the best in people.They recruited him for some... thing. I'm not sure what. They use different tactics for everyone. It's all just a facade for their organization. I never quite found out if they were a cult, a mafia, or something else, but they have a habit of making family-fulls of people disappear." 

 

"No." River shook her head, "No that can't be right. He wouldn't..." She squeezed her eyes shut, looking away from him. Gently, the Doctor moved to pat her on the back in what he hoped was somewhat comforting. "So what do we do now? Are my children not going to be safe anymore?" She whispered, her voice trembling despite her efforts to stop it. 

 

"No, I rather think they're going to be fine. I've been making it my job to get rid all these... let's call them Councilman. There's only two left, including the one presumably tied up at your house." This wasn't a lie. 

 

"By getting rid, do you mean you've been killing them?" She whispered. 

 

He said nothing, not having it in him to admit aloud that he was. 

 

"How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you're not lying to me?" She breathed.  

 

Continuing with his silence, he reached into his pocket and pulled out John's wedding ring, placing it in her palm. Silent tears rolled down River’s cheeks as she stared at the familiar ring in her palm. 

 

"He got a bit drunk when we first met.” The Doctor whispered. “He said, 'Don't let me lose this, mate, the missus would have my organs out in alphabetical order'." 

 

"He's right." She smiled weakly, trying to brush the tears away, "I would." 

 

"I don't doubt it." He murmured, aware now of three sets of young eyes on their backs. "It's a beautiful ring." 

 

She nodded, "John picked our rings out." 

 

"Good to know his taste in jewelry wasn't as atrocious as his taste in clothes." He teased lightly. 

 

She laughed weakly, "Always wearing a bow tie and those stupid hats." 

 

He nodded, glancing at the kids. "How are you lot holding up?" 

 

The kids shrugged, still in a bit of shock. "What's that box?" Arthur asked. 

 

"It's a police call box." The Doctor answered. 

 

"Why do you have it?" 

 

"I liked the color." He shrugged. 

 

Arthur scrunched up his face, "That's a silly reason to keep a big box like that." 

 

"If you'll notice, most physics teachers are a bit silly." 

 

Arthur smiled, "I like you better than Mummy's other friend, Ramone." 

 

Amelia elbowed Arthur. "You can't just say that in front of Mum." 

 

"Why not? I don't like him, he's stupid." 

 

"I know that, but it's rude even if it's true." 

 

"That's enough you two." River interrupted before Arthur could say any more. The two of them shut their mouths exchanging looks between each other and River. She looked back at the Doctor, "You need to go take care of the man at my house." 

 

"I rather think I should." He nodded. "Will you all be alright here?" 

 

She nodded, "I think so." 

 

"Just give a ring if you need anything." He stood. "And... try not to touch anything." He added, glancing in the direction of the box. 

 

The whole Song family nodded. He gave them an assuring smile before leaving. 


	46. Darling Dearest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A /laser/ gun? Are you kidding me!?” Bill gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Bill doesn't know what the fuck is going on and Mummy!River is sure as hell not letting anyone near her babies.
> 
> Thus wraps up the human!arch. I had a lot of fun writing that bit. Enjoy!

**Ch 46**

 

River read with the kids for in the Doctor’s office, trying to keep them entertained. Nardole arrived within the hour, carrying full bags of the children's possessions. The children took some comfort in seeing familiar things. 

 

He also had a bag for River of things he'd pulled off the Councilman. River took the bag, immediately examining the contents. There were few strange electronic gadgets along with two guns and a number of sharp objects that looked equally unpleasant. River stared at the weapons, knowing they had been indented for killing her and her children. 

 

"What are you going to do with them?" Nardole asked. 

 

"I don't know yet." She murmured. 

 

The twins were looking uneasily at what River was holding. Arthur tugged on her arm. "I'm hungry." 

 

"Nardole, could you grab lunch for all of us at the cafe?" River asked, going into her purse to get money. 

 

He nodded. "Any requests?"  

 

The children each gave their requests, asking for sandwiches with crisps and juice. Terra had no appetite left to want anything, though feebly agreed to nibble on something and drink a juice. 

 

River sat with the little girl in her lap, trying to get her to sleep while they waited for their food. Terra was easily lulled, exhausted from her fever and all the events of the day so far. River continued to rub her back even after she had fallen asleep, humming softly. 

 

Nardole returned, and the older kids eagerly took their food and started eating. River let Terra sleep a bit longer before waking her, coaxing her to eat some bread and drinking a little. Terra ate pieces of bread that River tore off for her in tiny bits she could bear swallowing and drank only half a cup of juice before refusing any more sustenance.  River let her go back to sleep after she had eaten a bit. 

 

Outside the door, a shadow moved, the doorknob turning. Arthur was the first to look up as the door opened, revealing the young woman the Doctor had been tutoring. 

 

"The Doctor isn't here right now." River informed her. 

 

Bill looked a bit flustered, not having expected to find six other people in the room. "These guys are a bit young for uni, aren't they." 

 

"Yes, these are my children. The Doctor just went to...fix something for me at my house and he said we could stay here." 

 

"Oh..." She nodded, not really getting it. "Do you know when he'll be back, I really need to tell him something." 

 

"I don't know." River shook her head, "I'm sorry." 

 

"Well, maybe it'll sort itself out." She said to herself. "You teach history, right? I've seen some of your lectures, they're really good." 

 

"Thank you." River smiled, "I don't think I've ever caught your name?" 

 

"Bill." Bill smiled, trying not to look too anxious. "And you're Professor Song, yeah?" 

 

"Yes, I am." River watched her carefully, "Do you want me to call him?" 

 

"You have his number?" Bill perked up a little. "Uh, yeah. Maybe-- well it's not that big of a... there's just this creep in weird clothes trying to get into his lecture hall and no one's doing anything about it so-- and he's really weirding me out so I thought... yeah, you should call him." 

 

River’s jaw tightened, "Show me." 

 

"Are these guys old enough to be alone?" She glanced at the kids. 

 

"Not in this situation. Nardole," River tossed him her mobile, "Call the Doctor. Kids, if anyone comes in here, I want you to take your sister and hide." She grabbed one of the guns out of the bag, kicking the rest over to Nardole, "Use these if you have to. If any of them get hurt I will remove your organs in alphabetical order, sew them back in and remove them again." Nardole nodded as seriously as he could with a face like his. 

 

Bill looked startled again. "Woah, woah, what's going on. Guns?! You're kidding me..." 

 

"Just a safety precaution." River murmured, tucking the gun away, "Now come on, we don't have time to lose." 

 

Bill lead River out of the office, though didn't stop asking questions. "A  _ gun  _ is a precaution for some random bloke? That can't be a real one, you'd never be able to get on campus with it. Does this have to do with why you're staking out in the Doctor's office?" 

 

"Yes it does, and he's not a random bloke. The man you saw is highly dangerous." She followed Bill through the halls. 

 

"Is he like a gang boss or something?" Students stayed out of their way, the look of determination on River's face not something anyone wanted to get in the way of. 

 

"Something like that." She muttered. 

 

"Do you even know how to use a gun?" Bill nervously stuck her hands in her pockets. 

 

"Just be quiet about it before someone overhears you." River hissed. They turned a corner, the lecture hall right in front of them. The door to the hall was open now, and the man nowhere in sight. River went into the room, closing the doors behind her and Bill. 

 

On the lecture-stage was the Councilman Bill had been talking about. He was pacing and scanning things, not having noticed the others yet. 

 

"What are you doing?" River snapped from the other side of the room. The man snapped his head up, his scanner pointing in their direction. "Who are you?" She demanded. 

 

The reply River got was in a language human ears could barely make sense of.  She took out her gun, pointing it at him. The Councilman stilled and spoke again in the strange language in a harsher, threatening tone. Her expression hardened and she cocked the gun, staring him down. She had no idea what he was saying, but she had a horrible feeling about it. 

 

"Professor, this is insane. I should get help." Bill whispered shakily. 

 

"No." She snapped, "If you can't handle it then leave." 

 

The Councilman took a step forward, saying something menacing that Bill was almost sure translated to 'don't move'. River took a step forward as well, not stooping to the threat. 

 

"Oh god, just shoot him or something. Get it over with!" Bill turned her head away. 

 

The Councilman reached for his scanner again, pointing it at River.  She fired the gun at Bill's words. A laser shot out of it, the heat felt by everyone in the room. At the same moment, a beam shot out of the device the Councilman had, acting as a shield. 

 

“A _laser_ gun? Are you kidding me!?” Bill gasped. 

 

River fired again, and again the light from the man’s device seemed to absorb the ray before it could touch its target. The man started walking towards them, muttering in his language. 

 

"Bill, run." River hissed.

 

Bill didn't have to be told twice, bolting from the room. 

 

River stepped closer to the man, hoping that she'd be able to get close enough to kill him. The light from the device grew brighter, spilling over River and scanning her. She flinched slightly as the light went over her. The device beeped information at the man. 

 

" _ Consort _ ." He hissed in strained English. 

 

"Excuse me?" She growled.  

 

He drew out a gun from his belt that matched the one she held. "Consort!" 

 

River fired her gun again. He dodged, firing in back in turn. She tried to jump out of the way but the beam grazed her shoulder, leaving a nasty burn. She yelled in pain, dropping her gun. The other man kept shooting. 

 

Outside the classroom, it sounded like people were gathering, concerned about all the noise inside. 

 

Beams of deadly heat surrounded River, some of the chairs catching on fire from the shots. Another shot and suddenly pain was burning across River’s abdomen so harshly that she nearly forgot where she was. The Councilman stopped shooting when he saw her fall. 

 

On the ground, River managed to get her gun back into her hand, her hands shaking. Somewhere in the lecture call, a wheezing-groaning noise started to sound. 

 

Execution flooded her and eyes fluttered shut as she tried to regulate her breathing and force her body to work with the injury. 

 

There was a loud thwack, then a thud of a body before a Scottish voice called out. "River?!" She opened her eyes, trying to answer him. Footsteps echoed closer to her and suddenly the Doctor was hovering over her. "Oh no..." 

 

"Are my k-kids okay?" She asked. 

 

"They're fine. They're safe." He was knelt down beside her now, trying to get a better look at the wound. 

 

She smiled weakly, "It's only a nick." 

 

"It's a lot more than a nick." He said worriedly. 

 

There was no active bleeding since it was a laser gun, but she'd been hit squarely right below her heart. Muscle and skin were burned through, and he knew if she didn't get help the infection would spread right into her lungs in no time. 

 

"Don't let the kids see me like this, please." She whispered, "I don't want to scare them." 

 

"Don't worry, they're a bit preoccupied." He muttered. 

 

The kids, Bill, and Nardole were all on the TARDIS, sitting in the other corner of the room, most likely trying to figure out how the dimensions worked. He moved to lift her up, "Do you want me to call an ambulance?" 

 

"If you think it's necessary." She wheezed.

 

"I can see your  _ ribs,  _ River. Of course, it's necessary."  

 

"If something happens, if I don't make it, I want the kids sent back to London to live with Jack Harkness or Clara Oswald." 

 

He was bringing her TARDIS, knowing he would be faster than an ambulance. "Nothing's going to happen to you. You're going to be fine." 

 

"Okay..."  she whispered, eyes closing. 

 

A bewildered Bill and a relatively placid Nardole were peering out of the TARDIS. The Doctor instructed them to drag the unconscious Councilman inside and tie him up as he brought River into the blue box. River was also unconscious by now, limbs hanging limply. The ship took off as soon as Bill and Nardole were inside. 

 

The kids were luckily off somewhere exploring the interior of the bigger-on-the-inside ship, allowing him to take care of their mother with little interruption. 

 

"Is there anything I can do?" Bill asked. 

 

"Make sure the kids don't come out here. And if that man wakes up you can knock him out again." The Doctor murmured.

 

They landed and the Doctor rushed out, River in his arms and Nardole on his tail. Swarmed by medical doctors, River was soon carted away. 

 

"Why didn't you fix her on the TARDIS?" Nardole asked. 

 

"What if the kids had walked in on us? She asked me not to let them see." The Doctor murmured, sighing. They were in the waiting area now. "She's still human. She still thinks aliens and spaceships are fairytales. For the time being, we've got to do this the human way." 

 

"What if  they can't fix her?" 

 

"Then  _ I'll  _ fix her. I've got more regeneration energy than I know what to do with now that I've... officially removed the Council." 

 

"Are you going to let them open the watches then?" 

 

"I don't know." He said honestly. 

 

"Why not? If the council is gone then it's safe." 

 

He was silent for a moment. "Have you read The Time Traveler's Wife, Nardole?" 

 

Nardole shook his head. 

 

"It's not exactly the happiest book and River and me... our lives used to be just like it. She said she'd never want to live a life that. She thinks she never has. So what if she's happier like this, hm? What if waking her up will only ruin all that?" 

 

"Well, I don't think she's very happy thinking her husband is dead for one thing. I also think that if she knew you were thinking of making a big decision like this without consulting her, she'd kick your arse." 

 

He snorted with amusement. "And, what, I suppose you have full permission to do it for her in her absence?" 

 

He nodded, "Actually, I do." 

 

The Doctor scowled, Bill coming in with the children at that moment. 

 

"[Where's Mummy?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[She got a bit of a scratch so the doctors fixing her up.]" The Doctor answered. 

 

"[I want to see her.]" She whimpered. 

 

"[We have to wait until the doctors say it's okay. How're you feeling?]" 

 

"[Not good. I want Mummy.]" She looked like she was going to start crying. 

 

"[It's alright, poppet. She'll come out soon.]" He reached out a hand, hoping to offer comfort. 

 

She started to cry, "[I want my Mummy and Daddy!]" Freya took her sister into her arms, away from the Doctor. The tiny girl sobbed into her sister's arms. 

 

The Doctor sighed, missing them though they were right there. "[Sorry, little star, but I promise she'll be alright.]" 

 

"You're going to let those children grow up thinking they don't have a father?" Nardole mumbled. 

 

The Doctor's hearts tightened and he swallowed, knowing Nardole was right. He looked over the children,  _ his  _ children that he hadn't so much as been able to kiss goodnight over a year. "What did you lot think of the box?" 

 

"It's big. How is it so big?" Arthur asked. 

 

"It's a physics trick." He murmured, nearly smiling but not quite. 

 

"You have a pool! And we moved! How did we move?" 

 

"What a long and involved answer this is going to be," He reached into his pocket. "But you know, I think I have a shorter way of explaining it." He pulled out a pocket watch, fiddling with it in his hands for a moment before handing it to Arthur. 

 

Arthur took it, looking it over. “What Am I supposed to do with this?”

 

“Open it.”

 

The boy obeyed. Much to the surprise of the children and Bill, a soft gold light started to float up from the clock face right towards Arthur's face. Arthur stared, mesmerized by the light. The Doctor watched him nervously. Terra stopped crying, shocked by what she was seeing. 

 

After a minute, the light faded,"Dad?" Arthur asked, looking at the Doctor. 

 

The Doctor felt his eyes crinkle and his mouth smile before he even registered he was doing so and gave a nod. 

 

Amelia looked angry. "What are you talking about Arthur!? Don't make jokes about that, it's not funny! That's not dad!" 

 

Arthur ignored her, running to hug him. The Doctor could feel his eyes growing hot as he hugged his son tightly. "Arthur." 

 

"I missed you!" The boy was crying too, hugging him tightly. 

 

"I missed you, too. More than you could ever know." 

 

"You have to fix the others." He whispered. 

 

"I know." He said in the same tone. He pulled out three more watched from his pocket. "Do you want to help me?" 

 

Arthur nodded, helping give his sisters the watches. 

 

"I'm not opening this." Amelia frowned. "He hypnotized you or something! I don't trust it!" 

 

"No! If you open it you'll remember!" Arthur insisted.

 

"You're crazy and he's crazy! Dad's dead and he's crazy!" 

 

"Just do it!" He shouted. 

 

Terra opened hers, not knowing what was happening with her other siblings and too scared at this point to ask. Light engulfed the little girl's face for a moment before fading, just as it did with her brother. 

 

She blinked at Arthur, then at the Doctor and started crying again, though this time for different reasons. She flung herself into the Doctor's arms with a joyous cry.

 

"Stop it! Stop!" Amelia cried. 

 

"It's alright, Amelia. It's okay." The Doctor murmured, holding Terra close. 

 

"Why are they doing that? What did you do to them?" 

 

"I gave them back their memories." He said honestly. 

 

"What does that mean?" 

 

"It means that I was once the one to take them away." He spoke calmly. "I gave you and your siblings and your mother fake memories, I gave you a new life to keep you safe. Now, it's safe to give you back your old life." 

 

“You’re bloody crazy.” She glanced that the watch uneasily, looking at her twin. Together, the two opened the watches. 

 

The rest watched as the two were engulfed in the light. Once the light faded, they did the same as their siblings, running to hug the Doctor. 

 

The only one left in the room who didn't know what the hell was going on was Bill. The Song children were too busy crying and laughing and hugging their dad to care about the human. 

 

As this was happening, Ramone ran into the hospital, spotting the Doctor, he immediately ran over, "Where is she?" He demanded. 

 

The Doctor's expression of joy fell quickly. "The doctor's are still seeing to her." 

 

"What happened? You said she was safe!" 

 

"She is." He stood up, the children clinging to his legs. "And she's going to be just fine." 

 

"Then how did she end up in the hospital? I shouldn't have left her with you." 

 

"There was a tiny skirmish. Trust me, it would have ended worse if she was with you." 

 

Ramone scoffed but was interrupted by the doctors with an update. "Who is here is direct relation for River Song?" Asked one of the doctors.  

 

The children looked up at their father. "That would be me." The Doctor said confidently.  

 

"No, you’re not." Ramone scowled, stepping forward, "I'm her boyfriend. Besides the children, I'm the closest thing she has to a direct relation." 

 

He scowled back, adding much more eyebrow into the expression than the other man was capable of. "Actually, I'm their  _ father _ . So please save yourself the embarrassment and go wait with Nardole."  

 

Ramone looked surprised but hesitantly backed down. With a huff, the Doctor gave his attention to the medical professionals. 


	47. Everybody Knows that Everybody Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They dodged around a few doctors who insisted River go back to bed and arrived at the TARDIS. The Councilman from before was still tied up and stripped of weapons in the corner. Nardole was playing tag with Arthur and Terra on the upper deck. Ramone was unconscious in one of the jump seats, and Bill was on the other, accepting sympathetic pats on the back from the twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 47**

 

The doctor gestured for the Doctor to follow him, "We were able to close off her wounds. We've given her medication that should prevent the spread of infection. She's awake now, you can see her if you'd like."

 

The Doctor nodded, the kids following. River was propped up in the hospital bed, looking a bit pale. She smiled when her kids came into the room. They were all looked very pleased and gently hugged her, waiting for the Doctor to bring her back, too.

 

The Doctor sat next to the bed. "I have a question for you, River."

 

"Yes?" She looked up at him.

 

"If the Time Traveler's Wife had a happier ending... if Henry and Clare ended up being able to figure it all out and live together, do you think it would be worth living?"

 

She thought for a moment, "Well...I suppose so. They were meant to be together."

 

He smiled weakly. "I've got something for you. It's from your husband." He murmured, placing the last pocket watch into her hand.

 

She looked down at the watch, examining it carefully, "Where did you get this?" She asked softly.

 

"It was in John's hotel room. I went back when he disappeared to see if he was there. It had a little bow on it, so I assumed it was a present for you."

 

"Open it, Mummy," Arthur said, a tad impatiently.

 

She glanced at her son, going to open it when Ramone entered the room. The Doctor tensed and the twins glared.

 

"Open it, Mummy!" Arthur said more hurriedly.

 

"Hush, darling. I know what a clock face looks like, I'll open it in a moment." She murmured, the only one smiling at the man approaching her.

 

Brushing past the Doctor, Ramone leaned down to give River a kiss. The Doctor glanced away and all of the children looked devastated. "I'm so glad you're okay." Ramone smiled.

 

"I'm stronger than I look." She purred, not yet noticing the children's faces.

 

"[Mummy, you hafta open the watch.]" Terra begged, not wanting Ramone to stay any longer. "[Please, you gotta do it _now_.]"

 

"[Terra, Mummy's talking. The watch isn't going anywhere, I'll open it in a minute.]" She answered.

 

"[It's okay, little star. Just need to be a little patient.]" The Doctor said calmly, though inside the kids had pretty much captured his emotions perfectly.

 

Ramone was pulling up a chair. "What happened, who were those people? Are you safe now?"

 

"Everything's alright now." River nodded, smiling softly and taking his hand. She looked around, seeing everyone's faces and sighed, "Fine, I'll open the watch if you all stop looking so glum." She reached for the pocket watch, opening it up. “See? Nothing new--

 

The children's faced switched impossibly fast from devastation to delight as the light came out of the watch, cutting off River’s words. The display was bigger and brighter than it had with the children's-- River had more memories to recover than they did.

 

Ramone nearly fell backward in his chair, scrambling to his feet. "What the hell?!"

 

River's whole body seemed to glow for a moment as the light engulfed her. The watch fell into the bed. Once the light was gone, she looked over the room, her eyes falling on the Doctor.

 

He smiled hopefully, hearts in his throat.

 

"Doctor..." She smiled, eyes filling with love.

 

"Hello, sweetie." He whispered, finding his vision blurring again. She moved her hands to cup his cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss. The Doctor helped close the distance, kissing her with every bit of heartache he had, knowing she could heal them all just like this.

 

Ramone gaped at them. "River! What are you doing?!"

 

She wrapped her arms around the Doctor’s neck, deepening the kiss, only answering Ramone when they finally broke, "Ramone, I'd like you to meet my husband."

 

Ramone could hardly form words, confused, betrayed, and angry all at the same time. "You've been married this whole time?! Then what do you call  _us_? What we did together, why didn't you say anything??"

 

"It's rather complicated, but I'll be happy to explain it all to you in a moment." She smiled softly before turning to the Doctor, murmuring quietly, "Perhaps we should spare him the heartache and wipe this all from his memory?"

 

"Yes dear, that might be best." He nodded, still caught up in the delirium of having River know who he was.

 

She smiled, "Do you want to ask Nardole to take care of it?"

 

He nodded again, not wanting to leave River's side for the next month. She smiled at him, reaching for his hand. The Doctor squeezed it tightly. "Missed you."

 

“I missed you too." She whispered.

 

Ramone was still frowning a hole into the Doctor's head. The Time Lords turned to him. "I suggest you go ask Nardole about this. He'll clear it up for you."

The man left, grumbling.

 

"He may not be terribly bright, but he's a wonderful kisser." River teased.

 

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I'll take your word on that one."

 

"Jealous?" She teased.

 

"What if I was?" He raised an eyebrow.

 

"Then I'd say I think it's kinda sexy when you're jealous." She murmured.

 

"Mum!" Freya exclaimed from the other side of the bed, the embarrassment showing on her face.

 

She laughed, "I think I need another kiss from my sexy husband."

 

The children groaned and covered their faces, except Terra who hadn't heard the comment but soon followed her siblings lead when their parents' lips met once again.

 

River tugged the Doctor closer, fingers tangling in his hair. He wrapped his arms around her mindful of her wounds. She pressed her forehead against his once they had finished, smiling contently.

 

"I know you're happy to see each other, but can't you wait 'till we get home for all of that?" Amelia asked.

 

River huffed, "Fine. Speaking of going home, when will I be able to leave?"

 

"The doctors said they want to keep you at least a week, but I can speed that up if you want."

 

"That'd be nice." She nodded.

 

He looked at the kids. "Why don't you lot wait in the TARDIS, yeah? We'll meet you there."

 

They nodded, bouncing back to their home.  

 

"Lift your shirt." The Doctor instructed.  

 

She frowned slightly, lifting her shirt. Her newest wound was draped in white gauze, the scar from Rassilon the next most noticeable mark. "What are you going to do? By speed up, I thought you meant to lie to the doctors."

 

"I meant regeneration energy..." He clarified.

 

"No." She shook her head, "You know I don't approve of that."

 

He sighed. "You know I have much too much excess of it right now. When I was... removing the Council, I had to take it."

 

“No.” She repeated, pulling her shirt back down. Changing the subject before he could protest further, she gave him a weak smile, "It'll be nice to go home."

 

He nodded extending a hand to help her from the bed. "A house full of people, now there's something I missed."

 

She stood with effort, leaning on him, "What are we going to do about the house in Bristol?"

 

"We could keep it." He suggested, wrapping his arm around her waist.

 

"What about our flat in London?"

 

"The kids aren't technically enrolled anywhere in London. Their teachers here are still expecting them tomorrow." He pondered as they exited the hospital room.

 

She nodded slowly, "The house is beautiful."

 

"And bigger." He added. "We could keep both if you want."

 

"Okay." She nodded, smiling.

 

They dodged around a few doctors who insisted River go back to bed and arrived at the TARDIS. The Councilman from before was still tied up and stripped of weapons in the corner. Nardole was playing tag with Arthur and Terra on the upper deck. Ramone was unconscious in one of the jump seats, and Bill was on the other, accepting sympathetic pats on the back from the twins.

 

River smiled at her family running around the TARDIS, "What are we going to do with him?" River nodded to the councilman.

 

"Well, unless you want to do the honors, the old girl will do it for us." The Doctor murmured.

 

"I'll want to do it." She whispered, "But I don't want the kids to see."

 

Freya came over to them. "Are you going to take away Bill's memories, too?"

 

"No, of course not." River shook her head, looking up at the Doctor, "Right?"

 

"Em..." He hesitated. "Bill, will come over here?"

 

"Why? What are you going to do?" Bill asked, standing, but not coming over.

 

He glanced at Freya, who looked rather against the mind wipe. "I just have some things to ask you."

 

"Then ask me. Why do I need to come over to you? I can hear from here."

 

It occurred to him that she'd probably heard the suggestion of a mind wipe very clearly. "Right. Well, are you uncomfortable," he made a gesture to the whole room, "by this?"

 

She shook her head, "Of course not! Well, I mean it's a bit weird, but it's...it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me!"

 

He squeezed River’s hand. "You do understand that this, my family, it has to stay a complete secret."

 

She nodded vigorously, "Of course! I won't tell anyone."

 

"I mean it. Not so much as a tweet or diary entry about this, or there will be consequences."

 

"Of course. I won't say a word."

 

He exhaled slowly.  "Good. Let's get you home then."

 

Both Bill and Freya looked relieved. They dropped Ramone off first, Bill helping them get him into bed before she herself was dropped off.

 

"One more thing, Bill." The Doctor said, standing in the door of the TARDIS.

 

"Yeah?" She looked turned back to look at him.  

 

He smiled. "How do you feel about babysitting?"

 

She shrugged, "I don't mind at all."

 

"Good, because you'll be doing some of that in your future."

 

"There's only four of them, right? You're not hiding anymore in there?"

 

"No," he chuckled. "I'm not hiding anymore. And the twins won't need much watching, just Terra and Arthur from time to time. Think of it as payment for my tutoring."

 

"Got it." She nodded, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow at six?"

 

"Don't be late." He reminded, moving back inside the TARDIS.

 

River was alone with the Councilman in the console room now.

 

"Where're the kids?" He asked quietly.  

 

"Nardole took them to make dinner." She didn't take her eyes off the Time Lord.

 

The Doctor came up behind his wife, resting his hand on the small of her back. "You're sure you don't want to let the TARDIS to take care of that?"

 

"I want to do it." Her jaw was tight, "He supported a man who killed our child. And since I can't kill Rassilon myself, members of the new Council are the next best thing."

 

The tied up man struggled against his bonds fearfully. She walked over to the console, retrieving her blaster. There was a fury in her eyes that hadn't been there in a long time. This was partially why the Doctor had been so hesitant to open the watches: because what happened on Gallifrey and since then he knew had torn into River with an unforgiving bite.

 

She got her blaster ready to fire, aiming. The Councilman shut his eyes tightly, bracing himself. The smell of flesh burning came immediately after the shot fired. Before the body could hit the ground, a golden light came bursting out of him.

 

River surged forwards, grabbing the dying man by the neck and squeezing with uncheck strength. The cracking sound made the Doctor wince, and the light from the body, he realized, was now being redirected into River’s.

 

The light extinguished itself immediately when River’s gripped tightened further, the smell from the shot lingering. River's body was rigid and she still was holding the man’s throat like he might wake up at any moment.

 

"You can let go now, Riv." The Doctor whispered.

 

River dropped the body, the stone-cold expression on her face not leaving.

 

"That was the last of them." He murmured. "They're gone now."

 

"That doesn't make up for what they did." She hissed.

 

"I know." He said gently. "Nothing ever will."

 

"How long has it been?" She asked quietly.

 

He assumed she meant since they'd lost the baby. "A year and a half."

 

"It would've been a year old now."

 

"Yes." His tone was tinged with sorrow.

 

"We could have been celebrating its first birthday." Her voice cracked.

 

He nodded, thinking about William who would have been eleven. She turned away from him, going to the console, shoulder's heavy. Though her wounds were healed now, her chest ached with grief.

 

"Do you need anything?" The Doctor asked quietly, the body of the Councilman disappearing from sight.

 

"Do you want more kids?" She asked quietly.  

 

He shook his head after a moment. "We talked about this on Hampstead Heath. Four is quite a full house..."

 

"Right." She nodded, looking down at the floor, "I should find the kids."

 

"Wait, River. Do... _you_ want more kids?"

 

"Not if you don't want them." She gave him a false smile.

 

"Alright." He said unsurely. "Let's find the kids."

 

In the kitchen, Nardole was watching over Terra and Arthur who were helping to stir the mac and cheese on the stove. The twins were sitting and chatting at the table.  River stood in the doorway, watching them silently with her husband.

 

Terra noticed them first. "[Hi, mummy! Hi, daddy!]"

 

River smiled weakly, "[It smells good in here.]"

 

Terra beamed. "[We're making macaroni!]"

 

"[I see.]" She nodded, "[I'm sure it'll taste wonderful.]" She turned to the Doctor, "I'm going to go to our room for a bit."

 

He nodded. "Do you want company?"

 

She hesitated, "Actually, I’d like a little space for the moment."

 

He wasn’t surprised since her body language had been telling him that for the past ten minutes. "I'll come find you when dinner's ready, which I'm sure is soon."

 

She nodded, turning to go to their room. The TARDIS hummed warmly at River, expressing her joy at having her back. She ran her hand along the wall as she walked, happy to be back in the TARDIS as well.

 

Her mind was still caught up in what had happened in the console room, both the killing and the question. She had lied to the Doctor, she did want another baby. Maybe it was because she was still grieving, or because she had gotten used to the idea of another child in their life, but the want was there. He was right though, they had four wonderful children. Their home was full, so she lied.


	48. Improbable Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You said it yourself, our house is full. We have four kids, we don't need another."
> 
> "But...?" He urged.
> 
> "But I want to have another baby." She murmured quietly, not looking at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_/¯\\_(ツ)_/¯\\_/¯
> 
> Mostly fluffy. Enjoy.

**Ch 48**

 

Back in the kitchen, the children were filling their father in on everything that he had missed. They told him about their friends at school, what they were learning and all the things they had been doing the past year. 

 

The Doctor was delighted to hear every detail of what he'd missed. He'd been watching them from afar, of course, but he appreciated the anecdotes nonetheless. 

 

Terra sat in his lap, letting Nardole do the rest of the cooking. She was still running a bit of a fever, but she was much happier now that her father was back. 

 

Amelia commented that their reunion was a bit like an early birthday present and the twins informed him of their slumber-party plans. 

 

Dinner was soon ready and the Song children dug in. The Doctor went to find River, stopping to pick up some medicine for Terra on the way to his bedroom. 

 

River was sitting on the bed, a bunch of pictures spread out around her. The Doctor knocked on the doorway to alert her of his presence. "Hey." 

 

She looked up immediately, a bit startled, “Hey." She quickly started cleaning up the pictures.  

 

He frowned slightly, trying to glance at what the pictures were of. "Do you want help cleaning those up?" 

 

"No, no I've got it." She said quickly, a few of the images slipping off the bed. They were all pictures of from when the children were babies. 

 

He smiled a bit at the images, not sure why she seemed secretive about them. "You dropped some." He said, not physically helping like she'd asked. She got up, getting the pictures and putting them away quickly. "What have you been up to?" He asked, coming more into the room. 

 

"Just looking at these old pictures." She murmured, her back to him. 

 

He went over to her. "Dinner's ready if you want to join us." She nodded, not moving.  He looked at her face. "Everything alright?" 

 

"Of course." She lied, nodding again. 

 

He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "The kids are going to finish their food before we get there if we stay here." 

 

She turned to leave the room, avoiding his eyes. He could tell, as they walked back, that something was off and bothering River. He figured he'd inquire about it after dinner, trying to work out what it was in his head in the meantime. 

 

The children continued to chat at dinner, begging to be allowed to stay up and play in the TARDIS tonight, having missed the ship and its many entertainment areas. The Doctor said they could do it after dinner, but no staying up late since it was still a school night. They seemed excited about this, eating fast and then running off.  

 

The Doctor smiled after them, clearing the dishes. Nardole went to the library to read, and River helped with cleaning. The Doctor glanced at her as he did the dishes. "Do you think we could talk, River?" 

 

"Talk about what?" She asked. 

 

"It'd like to continue our conversation from before dinner." 

 

She glanced at him, "Okay..." 

 

"What you said in the console room, was it completely true?" 

 

She didn't say anything for a minute, "It's true that I don't think we should have more children if you don't want them." 

 

This answer confirmed for him to reason she'd seemed off. "You know I was asking what  _ you  _ wanted, ignoring what I think." 

 

"It doesn't matter." She muttered. 

 

"It's been bothering you all evening, of course it matters." He had a feeling that the response would have been a 'yes'. "I  _ am _ open to conversation about it if you'd be willing." 

 

"There isn't much to talk about. You said it yourself, our house is full. We have four kids, we don't need another." 

 

"But...?" He urged. 

 

"But I want to have another baby." She murmured quietly, not looking at him. 

 

He watched her calmly, taking in her words. From how she'd been acting, he gauged that this want was sizable. "May I ask why?" 

 

She closed her eyes, "It's probably just because I got used to the idea of having another one. I'll get over it." 

 

"You don't have to get over it." He murmured. "I'm not asking you to." 

 

"But I don't want to ask you to have another baby if you don't want one." 

 

He thought about his words for a moment. "I'm not against it, exactly. I thought you were closed to the idea before." 

 

"I was upset before." She finally looked at him. His eyes were warm and understanding and above all open to change. She smiled weakly, "So, you're not completely opposed to the idea…?" 

 

He shook his head in confirmation. "No. I'm not." 

 

"Do you want to talk about it more?" She asked slowly. 

 

He nodded, stepping closer to her. "I want to hear all of your thoughts." 

 

"I talked already. I think it's your turn now." She took his hand. He gave it a squeeze. 

 

"Modern humans tend to think four is a lot. I said four is a full house to take consideration of that part of you, but for Gallifreyans four is nothing. It was common, at least outside the age of the loom, for Gallifreyans to have dozens of children over their life spans. That is to say that I'm scrapping the 'full house' argument." 

 

"Do you think the kids will want another sibling?" She asked, "The girls are getting so old, the might not want us to have another baby."  

 

He smiled. "Just because they put on that facade of teenage indifference don't mean they aren't quite full of love. But we could always ask them." 

 

She nodded, "How do you feel about it? Is it something you'd  _ really _ want?” 

 

"Well... I don't quite know. I know that I wouldn't be upset-- I love our kids,  _ always.  _ Intentional or unintentional, I know I'd love the theoretical next one, too."

 

She nodded, "Okay because I don't want you to think you have to say yes. I can handle a no." She assured him. 

 

"I think I'd like to leave the possibility open." He said honestly. 

 

She rubbed his arm lightly, "Okay." 

 

He tugged her closer. "In the meantime, I think I'd also like to celebrate you coming a bit more." 

 

She smiled, "Oh is that so?"  

 

"Maybe a lot more." He corrected with a nod, wrapping his arms around her. 

 

"I like the sound of that." She breathed, leaning in. 

 

He yearningly closed the distance between them, kissing her with an earnest desire. She pushed her body up against his, relishing in the kiss. "God, I missed you." He whispered breathlessly when they paused for air. 

 

"I missed you too." She breathed, "Ramone was good but not as good as you." 

 

"He was rubbish." The Doctor affronted. 

 

"Rubbish?" She raised an eyebrow, "Maybe you need to find a way to prove that." She leaned in again. 

 

"You're the judge," he murmured. This kiss was accompanied with a hand tangling in her hair while the other cupped her cheek. She tugged him closer, humming into the kiss. 

 

Luck had it that Nardole kept the kids occupied with hide-and-seek while River and the Doctor thoroughly celebrated their reunion. They had moved to their bedroom, snuggling beneath the sheets, murmuring to one another. 

 

"We're going to have to enforce bedtime soon if we don't want the kids staying up late." The Doctor said. This mostly meant Terra for now, who went to bed the earliest. 

 

"I know, but I'm so comfortable here with you." River pouted, pressing her nose against his jaw, "We could let them stay up a little bit later tonight and take them to school with the TARDIS tomorrow." 

 

"Now there's a brilliant idea." He hummed. 

 

She smiled, "I'm full of them." He nodded in agreement, turning his head to kiss her nose. "I think we're going to have to christen your office at some point." She murmured. 

 

"Definitely." He hummed again. "Do you think you'll stay working in Bristol?" 

 

She shook her head, "Bristol is nice, but I want to go back to Luna." 

 

"You ought to work out your resignation, then." He traced his thumb absentmindedly over the back of her hand. 

 

"I will." She murmured, closing her eyes. 

 

There was a knock on the door and Nardole's voice. "Are you two decent?" 

 

"No, not exactly." River called back. 

 

He muttered something along the lines of 'can't leave you two alone for a minute' before he spoke up. "Your youngest wants a bedtime story and she won't hear it from me because I'm not either of you." 

 

"Alright, we'll be there in a moment. Thank you, Nardole." River gave the Doctor one more lingering kiss, "I guess we should get up now." 

 

"I suppose." He made no move to do so. 

 

She started to get up, knowing the girl was going to grow impatient sooner or later, "After we put the kids to bed we could take a bath." 

 

"Is that a promise?" He teased. 

 

She nodded, "Come on, now." 

 

He finally pulled himself out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt and some trousers. She led him by the hand to their daughter's room. 

 

Terra was scrutinizing the shelves with emphasized importance for a book. River watched, flicking the lights so Terra would know that they were there. She turned around. "[Can I have a story from your blue book?]" 

 

River nodded, "[I'll go get it.]" 

 

The Doctor helped Terra get cozy in her bed while they waited. River brought back her diary, letting Terra pick the story. She chose an account of one of her parents' dates together. River read Terra's selection, recounting the time she and the Doctor had gone on a date in the gardens if Ishlaa and ended up having to stop the historical garden from being turned into toxic sludge by a corrupt gardener. 

 

Terra delighted herself in the story though was asleep by the end of it. River kissed her daughter's head, "She looks so sweet and peaceful while she sleeps." 

 

“She does." The Doctor agreed. 

 

River smiled softly, "Shall we attempt to corral the other children?" He nodded, giving Terra a kiss as well.

 

The other children were in a hide-and-seek room with an utterly stumped Nardole. The poor man begged for River and the Doctor’s help as soon as they walked in. They agreed, having a few ready tactics for this.

 

“Everyone come out, it’s time for bed.” The Doctor announced to the room. This was met with silence.

 

"Sweetie," River said to the Doctor, still making it so the children could hear, "I don't think the kids want you tucking them in. Even though they haven't seen you in  _ months _ ." 

 

He followed along, making it sound like he was let down. "Is that so? I've missed them so much." 

 

"I'm sorry, darling. I guess we should go back to our room and go to sleep." River exaggerated a sigh. 

 

"No!" Arthur said hurriedly, trying to wiggle out from where he'd been hiding as fast as he could. 

 

River looked over at him, "Oh! Arthur! There you are." 

 

He ran over to them, attaching himself to the Doctor's legs. "You can't go to bed yet!" 

 

"And why is that?" River asked, hands on hips. 

 

“Because you have to put  _ me  _ to bed first!" The boy grinned. 

 

"Oh, of course. How could I forget?" She smiled, "Now, do you know where your sisters are?" 

 

He nodded mischievously. "I'm not telling." 

 

“Why is that?" The Doctor questioned. 

 

"Because they said if I tell then I have to do their chores for a whole week!"  

 

"That's not their call." He tutted. "I promise you won't have to." 

 

"But they'll be mad at me." Arthur was usually the one to "ruin" their games when it was time for bed. He still hadn't quite figured out that his parent's threat of no bedtime stories was really just a ploy to get him to come out of hiding. 

 

"Tell you what, how about we let Uncle Nardy try to find them while Mummy and I put you to bed." Arthur agreed to this, leaving with his parents. 

 

“Do you think Nardole's found the girls?" The Doctor asked after Arthur was tucked in. 

 

"Hopefully." River murmured, giving Arthur a soft kiss on the forehead. 

 

"Let's go and see, shall we?" 

 

Upon heading back to the hide and seek room, they found an out of breath but triumphant looking Nardole with their two eldest, mildly annoyed looking daughters. 

 

River smiled, "I see you've tracked down our two missing children." 

 

He nodded with a puff. "They're very good at avoiding me." 

 

"I think it's time for bed, girls." 

 

"Can't we stay up later?" Amelia begged. 

 

"Not tonight, Amelia." River murmured. 

 

"How come?" 

 

"Because you have school tomorrow and you've stayed up late enough as it is." 

 

The girls sighed disappointedly, but didn't put up any more resistance. They walked to their room, getting ready for bed. Freya insisted that they didn't need any stories before bed, but Amelia admitted that she wouldn't mind being tucked in. As much as Freya tried to show her indifference, she still enjoyed the tucking in since she hadn't seen her father in so long. He kissed them goodnight and wished them sweet dreams, promising to make a big breakfast in the morning. 

 

The two parents left the girls to sleep, heading back to their own room. The Doctor could help but smile the whole time, overjoyed to have his family back. 

 

"I don't think I've seen you smile this much in a long time. I didn't think this face was capable of it." River teased. 

 

"Afraid my eyebrows might fall off, wife?" 

 

"A bit, and I have to say that I rather like the eyebrows." She stopped, pulling him against her. They were still in the hall, though she didn't seem to care. 

 

Unfazed, he tilted his head down to steal a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, backing him up against the wall. He hardly noticed until he felt the hard surface on his back, making the kiss more passionate. She kissed him hungrily, lips moving to his jaw. 

 

His grin was still very present as he made a low, sultry noise in his throat. "In the hallway, Mrs. Doctor?" 

 

"I don't think I can make it to the bedroom, Mr. Song." She purred, sucking on his neck. 

 

He stifled a groan. "At this rate, neither can I." He suddenly turned them so she was the one pinned between him and the wall, holding her wrists tightly. 

 

She was panting a bit, chest heaving as she looked up at him. His eyes were dark looking back at her before he crashed his mouth down to hers again. She moaned into the kiss, pressing her body up against his once more. 

 

True to their word, they never quite made it to the bedroom, christening the hallway shamelessly. There wasn't much time for them to wind down; moments after they finished, Nardole's muttering could be heard coming in their direction. They quickly gathered their discarded clothes and slipped into their bedroom, laughing.  

 

"You're a bad influence, Professor Song." The Doctor teased. 

 

"Yes, and you love it." She murmured, giving him a kiss before heading to the bathroom, adding over her shoulder, "I believe I promised you a bath?" 

 

He followed eagerly. "Yes, you did." 

 

She started the tub, taking off the few garments that she still had on. He did the same and they climbed into the warm water together. She closed her eyes, relaxing in the water, curled up against him. 

 

The environment now was much calmer than it had been in the hall. They knew they had all the time they wanted to just be there with the other. 

 

"I think you bruised my hip." River murmured, her head resting against his shoulder. 

 

"Sorry," He murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

 

"I'm not complaining." She smirked. He smiled as well, pulling her close. She closed her eyes, "I missed this." 

 

"Me, too." He whispered. 

 

They sat for a while in the warmth of the water, murmuring to one another.  The ship was quiet, though full for the first time in a long time. 

 

They eventually did get out of the water, having been lulled nearly to sleep. They got dressed and crawled into bed, curling together so close that they were practically on top of each other. 

 

"I love you." He whispered to her. 

 

"I love you too." She hummed. 


	49. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, aren't you clever." She smiled, "And our house? We did you just happen upon it? Because it's unbelievable. It's like something out of a novel." 
> 
> "Out of our novel." He tapped his nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned, there's a time skip next chapter. Enjoy.

**Ch 49**

 

In the morning, the Doctor found himself completely pinned under River. He didn't mind it so much, though he'd planned to go and make breakfast and didn't want to risk disturbing her. It didn't seem like she was getting up anytime soon, perfectly content sleeping on top of him. He breathed her in, accepting his situation. His hands absentmindedly played with her messy curls. 

 

"Doctor..." River mumbled in her sleep, her head moving slightly in response to his touch. “Kids...school." 

 

"TARDIS, time machine." He whispered back. 

 

"Baby's crying." Her words were slurred with sleep, obviously slipping back into a dream. 

 

He hummed, recognizing that she was only dreaming. She nuzzled her nose against his chest, falling back to sleep. They stayed like that for a long while until Terra crept into the room and climbed up on the bed. 

 

The little girl wiggled under the sheets, going to snuggle with her parents. The Doctor smiled at her attempts to join the cuddle. "[Good morning, my little star.]" 

 

"[Morning, Daddy.]" She signed happily, tugging on River's arm to try and get her to cuddle. 

 

"[Mummy's sleeping, let's not bother her.]" 

 

"[But I want to snuggle.]" She pouted. 

 

"[Snuggle with me, then.]" He encouraged, holding out his arm to her. 

 

She decided this would be good enough, cuddling up to him. He kissed her head, holding both her and his wife close. 

 

River began to wake a couple minutes later. "Morning." The Doctor whispered, feeling her stir. 

 

"Hmm?" She murmured, eyes opening, "Oh, morning." She smiled softly, leaning in for a kiss. 

 

Terra squirmed as her father kissed River, sticking her tongue out. River looked over, seeing her daughter, "[Good morning, my love.]" 

 

"[You fell asleep on Daddy.]" 

 

"[I did.]" She laughed softly, "[We were snuggling and I fell asleep.]" 

 

"[You look silly.]" She grinned. 

 

"[Do I?]"

 

"[Your hair's all messy. It's everywhere!]" 

 

River looked at the Doctor, "Do you think I look silly?" 

 

"I think you look beautiful." He kissed her nose. "But I may be biased." 

 

"Hmm, maybe." She smiled, eyes bright. 

 

"Most definitely." He added. 

 

"[I'm hungry, can we have breakfast?]" Terra interrupted. 

 

The Doctor nodded. "I'm afraid we're going to have to end our morning cuddle, Riv." 

 

River pouted, "It looks like it. Perhaps it can continue after the kids go to school." 

 

He nodded in agreement.  She reluctantly got up, scooping Terra up as well. The Doctor followed the pair as they went to the TARDIS kitchen. 

 

"[What'll it be for breakfast, sweetheart?]" 

 

"[Waffles!]" Terra requested immediately. 

 

"[Waffles it is, then.]" The Doctor started pulling out ingredients. 

 

The girl smiled, helping gather the things they needed. Soon a plate was stacking up high with waffles. River went to wake up the other children. 

 

Arthur easily woke up once he was told that there was food waiting. The twins took a little more convincing. Soon Arthur and his sleepy sisters wandering into the kitchen. 

 

"Morning, you lot." The Doctor greeted from the stove. 

 

"Good morning." They all murmured, sitting at the table. They helped themselves to the waffles, putting generous amounts of syrup on top. 

 

"Did you all sleep well?" 

 

They nodded, Arthur describing an odd dream. Their father smiled at them, joining them at them table after the last batch of waffles was done. 

 

"[Can I stay home from school today?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[Why do you want to do that?]" The Doctor asked. 

 

"[Because I don't like school and I missed you!]" 

 

He smiled. "[I missed you, too, and I promise I'm not going anywhere, but you do have to go to school.]" 

 

She pouted, "[But I don't like school.]"  

 

"[I know, but it'll be over before you know it.]" 

 

Terra looked like she was tearing up, looking helplessly at her mother and then back to the Doctor. 

 

"[Come here, little star.]" He gestured for her to sit on his lap. She crawled out of her chair and into his lap. He held her in a hug for a moment. "[Did bringing your fox help last time?]" 

 

She nodded. 

 

"[Why don't you bring him today?]" He started to hum comfortingly. 

 

She nodded again, hugging him tightly. 

 

“[Give school a go for now, yeah? I promise I’m not going anywhere.]" 

 

"[Okay.]" She sighed. 

 

The rest of the kids finished their breakfast, going to get ready for school. Terra cuddled a little longer with the Doctor before going to get ready as well. 

 

"Do you think she'll be alright?" River asked softly as she and her husband did dishes. 

 

He nodded. "She's going through a lot of change, but I think she will be." 

 

They used the TARDIS to drop the kids off, Terra clinging onto River's hand as they walked her to the door. 

 

"[It'll be okay, my love.]" River assured. 

 

Sighing, Terra let go and held her fox close and went inside. River watched her go, a bit worried. 

 

The Doctor squeezed River’s hand. "She'll be alright." 

 

"I hope so." She murmured. 

 

They went back to the TARDIS, moving the ship back to the Bristol house where they fed the cats and dog. 

 

"Do you have to meet Bill today?" River asked. 

 

"At six." He nodded. "Though my first lecture isn't until noon." 

 

"So I have some time alone with you." She smiled. 

 

"That you do." He smiled as well. 

 

"What shall we do?" 

 

“I rather think you already have an idea." He pointed out.

 

"And I rather think you know what that idea is." 

 

He grinned knowingly and closed the distance between them, kissing her. She smiled into the kiss, pulling him towards their bedroom. 

 

Toby followed them but was made to stay outside. He curled up on the floor outside the door. Toby heard quite a few bumps and grunts and groans. He scratched at the door every so often, not understanding that his masters were not in trouble. 

 

It was over an hour before the dog was finally let in. He darted into the room, immediately sniffing around for any danger. 

 

The Doctor curled back into bed with his wife, letting the dog investigate. She smiled, touching her head to his, "I think we scared him." 

 

"Nah, he's a brave dog." He disagreed. 

 

She hummed, looking up at him, "I had a dream about us last night." 

 

"Did you?" He stroked her hair, recalling her sleepy murmuring just earlier. 

 

She smiled softly, "Yeah. It was very nice, a good dream." 

 

"Why don't you share with the class, Professor." He teased encouragingly. 

 

"I could show you." She offered, it was something they did much more often when they were younger: mentally sharing dreams. 

 

He nodded, reaching his fingers up to her temple. She opened her mind to his, the scene melting into her dream. 

 

_ The two of them were sleeping, curled together. It was the early hours of the morning still and the TARDIS was quiet. The quiet, however, was interrupted by a baby's cry. "Doctor..." The sleepy, dream-River murmured, "Baby's crying."  _

 

The Doctor watched the scene before him. He could feel River's fondness in the dream, which made him smile.

 

_ "It's your turn." The dream River mumbled.  _

 

_ The view followed as his dream-self rose and went to the nursery just a room over. Sleeping in his old cot was a baby with features that resembled his current face.  _

 

The dream-Doctor smiled at the crying infant and the real Doctor did as well. 

 

_ The dream-Doctor lifted the child with a gentleness developed from his many years of fatherhood and held the child in his arms, gently rocking. The baby whined in hunger but was much less distressed in the Doctor's arms. Coddling over the baby, the Doctor brought it back to dream-River.  _

 

_ Dream-River was waiting for him, smiling tiredly when the two came in.  _

 

_ "Someone's hungry." He spoke, putting the baby in River's arms.  _

 

_ "I suspected that was the case." She murmured, adjusting her clothes so the baby could feed. "Maybe Daddy will play a song for us so you'll go back to sleep after you eat." She hinted.  _

 

_ By dream logic, there was suddenly a guitar in the Doctor's hands and he started playing a lullaby. The same logic put the baby right to sleep, looking peaceful to the sound of the lullaby.  _

 

The dream ended there, the feelings of River's affection lingering. The Doctor pulled his fingers away from her temple, resting his hand on her cheek instead. She smiled weakly, leaning into his touch. 

 

"Thank you." He murmured. "For letting me see." 

 

She nodded, "Of course." 

 

He leaned towards her, kissing her softly. She smiled, relishing in the tender kiss. 

 

Toby put his paw up on the bed, nudging River's leg. River broke the kiss, looking down at the dog. He wagged his tail excitedly. 

 

"He wants a walk." The Doctor murmured.

 

"Do you want to walk him with me around the university campus?" She asked. 

 

He nodded. They got dressed again and took the TARDIS and Toby to the University. 

 

They walked through the campus grounds, holding hands, "The story is that you've been teaching at Bristol for ages." River murmured, "Why is that?" 

 

"Perception filter." He murmured. "A big one, right under the school. I set it up to make everything go more smoothly. Humans are much more likely to accept something if they think that's how it's always been. And," he added, "It makes them overlook any strange happenings of mine. No one asked about the TARDIS, and no one will ask about the Councilmen." 

 

"Well, aren't you clever." She smiled, "And our house? We did you just happen upon it?  Because it's unbelievable. It's like something out of a novel." 

 

"Out of our novel." He tapped his nose. "I'm not sure if you remember--it was so long ago--you were still attending Luna as a student and you were telling me how all the staff was given their own houses and you told me about the one you would ask for if you ever got to teach there. I wrote it down apparently. I had it built... with a few modifications on the size, of course." 

 

River held back a gasp, "I almost forgot. That's why everything was so perfect." She murmured, wrapping her arm around his waist. Luna had stopped the practice of building staff members houses only a year or so after River had told him that story, so she had never gotten her dream home, at least until now, "I don't know how to thank you." She whispered. 

 

"How about by letting me live there, too?" He teased. 

 

"Well, I suppose there might be room for you  _ somewhere _ ." She teased back. “Maybe even in my bed.”

 

"You could always make me sleep in the TARDIS if you're sick of me." He squeezed her hand affectionately.  

 

She laughed, "I suppose I could." 

 

"Something tells me you aren't sick of me quite yet." He added. 

 

"No, not quite yet." She echoed, "Now, Mr. Song, I think you should treat your wife to lunch before you leave to teach your lecture." 

 

"Of course." He grinned. "Where to?" 

 

"Do you want to head over to the café?" 

 

He nodded. "After you, Mrs. Doctor." 

 

She led the way, going to the cafe they had been to before. There were students about, but neither of them cared as they sat down. The two looked like newlyweds, sitting in the corner booth, feeding each other bits of the food they ordered. The students weren't discrete when whispering about the professors. 

 

Toby waited patiently outside, letting people pet him. 

 

Ramone walked to the cafe, spotting the pair. River didn't notice him at first, leaning in to kiss the Doctor. 

 

"Professor Song!" He waved, coming over. 

 

The Doctor frowned slightly at the other man. "Ramone!" River moved away from the Doctor a bit, "Please, I've told you, call me River." 

 

He tried to smile, "Right." They could tell he sounded a bit disappointed. His crush on River hadn't disappeared with his memory wipe and seeing her kissing the Doctor didn't make him hopeful. "So, er, what are you two up to?" 

 

"We're..." She glanced at the Doctor, "We're on a date, actually." 

 

"...Oh." He had somehow been hoping she wouldn't say that. "You two are dating?" 

 

She shook her head, "No, we're not dating. We're married." 

 

Ramone impressively failed to hide the shock on his face. "What? But you've never mentioned a husband before." 

 

"Well, I didn't think I needed to." She took the Doctor's hand, "Why does it matter?" 

 

"No reason..." He glanced at the floor for a moment. "I'll let you get on. See you at tomorrow's meeting?" 

 

She nodded, "I'll see you then." 

 

He left a bit hurriedly and the Doctor wore an amused look. "Poor man was still pinning for you. I can’t blame him." 

 

"Don't look so smug." River scolded, though she pulled him in for a kiss. 

 

His triumphant expression was replaced with a loving one and he smiled under her lips. Ramone was already a long forgotten thought.


	50. A Nose for Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well… I was actually wondering if you could help me look for something." 
> 
> "Look for what?"
> 
> "Your old cot." She smiled slightly nervously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip! This is a year after the last chapter, the twins are turning 16, not 15. Enjoy!

**Ch 50**

 

Terra Song had loved decorating things since she'd learned how to walk. No matter the holiday or event, Terra would insist on helping to make and hang up balloons, streamers, and most importantly the drawings she worked very hard on. 

 

Unfortunately, she wasn't the most skilled at them, and her sisters refused to let her help hang up even one balloon saying she would do it wrong. Arthur had also been banned from helping. It was the twins' birthday, and Freya claimed that it gave her unquestionable authority all day long. 

 

This is how Terra ended up running into her parent's room in tears after being scolded yet again by her older sister for hanging up some handmade decorations without approval. 

 

The Doctor and River had been trying to let the girls do their own organizing, knowing they had a specific way of doing it. Rather than getting in the way, they had chosen to relax on the bed and read to each other. 

 

The Doctor put the book down. "[What happened, Terra?]" 

 

"[I made decorations for Mia and Freya's birthday and they took them down.]" She held out the decorations, tears streaming down her face. 

 

He tutted, "[Come here, my dear.]" He patted the bed. 

 

She climbed onto the bed, snuggling with her parents. He wrapped his arms around her. "[I'm sorry they won't let you hang your decorations. I'm sure you worked very hard on them.]"

 

She nodded, "[Arthur helped me get the glitter.]"

 

"[Do you want to hang them up in here, my love?]" River asked. 

 

Terra hesitated. "[But they're for Mia and Freya, they won't see them in here.]" 

 

"[I know. But they're so beautiful! I don't want them to not get hung up,]" River smiled encouragingly, "[Do you want us to go ask Freya if you can hang them up?]" 

 

"[She's mean and she's gonna say no!]" She fretted. 

 

"[Well, we'll try to talk to her.]" 

 

"[Can I stay with Daddy?]" she sniffed.  

 

River nodded, going downstairs. Arthur had retreated to the kitchen with Toby, his older sisters standing on chairs to hang up some streamers. 

 

"Freya, can we talk for a moment?" River asked once she was downstairs.  

 

"Yeah, hang on, let me finish this," Freya said. River let her daughter finish hanging the streamers, arms crossed. 

 

"What is it?" Freya asked, getting down from the chair. 

 

"Do you think you could let your sister hang a few decorations she made for your birthday?" 

 

Freya was quick to frown. "No, I don't want her decorations."  

 

"But she worked so hard on them. She's just trying to help." 

 

"So? She can help with something else, not the decorating." 

 

"Freya." River's voice grew a bit sterner, "You know how much she loves to decorate. Just one little decoration and you can decide where it goes." 

 

"But what if my friends see it? They'll laugh at it, can't she help with the cake or something?" 

 

River sighed, "I don't think your friends will laugh at it, but if you  _ really _ don't want her to help... then it's your decision." 

 

"I'll let her help with the baking, but that's it," she said insistently. 

 

"Alright, fine." River looked a bit disappointed, leaving the room. 

 

Terra had calmed down when River got back, curled up with the Doctor who was reading her a picture book. River smiled softly, sitting back on the bed with them. 

 

"[What'd Freya say?]" Terra asked, worn out from her tantrum.  

 

"[She said you could help bake the cake if you'd like.]"  

 

"[She doesn't want my decorations?]" Terra looked liked she might cry again. 

 

"[Not today. How about we save them for when your aunts and uncles come over tomorrow?]" She suggested, holding her arms out to hug her. 

 

Terra nodded sadly, crawling over to River's embrace. River rubbed her back to comfort her, looking at the Doctor. 

 

"Maybe we should start the cake," he suggested. 

 

"I think we should wait till she calms down." River murmured, stroking Terra's hair.  

 

He nodded. "What time is the thing tomorrow?" 

 

"Everyone was going to come at four." 

 

"And the girls' friends are leaving in the morning, so we can have a brief breather at lunch," he reviewed. 

 

She nodded, "It's a busy weekend." 

 

"Yes, we've got our work cut out for us," he agreed. 

 

River smirked, "I think we can handle it." 

 

"Of course we can," he leaned over, stealing a quick kiss. "We're brilliant."  

 

"Yes, we are. Now, we need to settle this one down." 

 

"Ideas?" 

 

"[Do you want to keep reading with her?]"  

 

He nodded. "[Would you like that, Terra?]" 

 

Terra nodded as well. She curled back up with her father and continued the story they'd been reading before.Arthur wandered in during the story, climbing on the bed and listening in. 

 

Once the story was finished, they went back downstairs to make the cake. Terra cheered up even more at helping with the cake since her parents let her do most of the mixing. 

 

While the cake was baking, the two younger Song children went outside to play while Amelia and Freya picked out games and movies for their friends to play later.

 

River and the Doctor stayed in the kitchen. 

 

The Doctor decided to make some tea for them. "We've got all the presents wrapped, right?" 

 

River nodded, "They're all in my closet." 

 

"Good," he murmured. 

 

"Kids occupied, party prepared, it looks like we've got some downtime after all." He kissed her with a hum.

 

"Well… I was actually wondering if you could help me look for something."  

 

"Look for what?" 

 

"Your old cot." She smiled slightly nervously.  

 

He looked a bit confused, not catching on. "Why do you need that?" 

 

She laughed the comment off, "Really? You don't know? I thought after four kids you would have caught on by now." 

 

He frowned, looking at her amused expression before his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You're not--are you--?" 

 

Her smile grew wider and she nodded, "I am." 

 

His own smile bloomed so suddenly it threatened to drop his eyebrows right of his head. "How far along?"

 

"Only a month, so this has to stay a secret for now." She murmured relieved, taking his hands. 

 

He pulled her into a hug and kissed her as the kettle began whistling. They stayed like that for a minute before River finally broke away to pour their tea. He stayed pressed up against her back, his head resting on her shoulder. "We're having a baby." ‘

 

She hummed, kissing his cheek, "Yes, another one. We must be crazy." 

 

"Only by human standards." His grin hadn't faded. 

 

"We can do a scan later after we put Terra and Arthur to bed." She murmured, eyes bright. 

 

"I'd love that." He hummed. 

 

"But first we have to make it through this party. And I think I'm going to need some kisses to get me through." She smiled, leaning in for another kiss. He joyfully obliged. River smiled pulling him closer. 

 

Amelia and Freya came in at that moment, groaning at the sight of their parents kissing. The Doctor pulled away to look at them. "You two ought to be used this by now." 

 

"That doesn't make it less gross," Amelia muttered. 

 

He smiled. "Have you two picked the movies?" 

 

They nodded, "We set up the movies and the games. We want to put out the snacks now." 

 

"Why don't we wait until your friends get here?" 

 

"But they'll be here in an hour." 

 

"And if you put the snacks out now your siblings and the dog are going to want to eat them all." He pointed out. 

 

They grumbled but agreed. "We're done with everything now." Freya looked around the room. 

 

"Well, there's still the cakes to decorate. I was going to let your sister do one." 

 

Freya scowled, "Fine, but she can only do the icing." 

 

He nodded, taking his cup of tea, glancing at River with a smile only she saw. River smiled back. 

 

They called the younger children back in when the cake was ready, helping them ice the cake. Terra was delighted with the final product, making her sisters look for approval. The twins agreed that it was fine, running to the door when their friends arrived. 

 

The Doctor and River's main job now was to occupy their younger children, which proved to be pretty easy. They kept Terra and Arthur upstairs, playing with them for a bit. 

 

Later, closer to their bedtime, Terra and Arthur were allowed to watch a movie in their parent's room. They brought their cake slices with them and did their best not to make any mess, though they ended up falling asleep before it ended. 

 

"I'll carry Arthur back to his bed, do you want to take Terra?" River murmured softly. 

 

The Doctor agreed, scooping up his daughter. River got the boy, neither of the children stirred as their parents carried them to their respective rooms. 

 

After tucking in Terra, the Doctor went downstairs to check on the girls. They had invited two friends each, and the six teenagers were all camping out in the living room for the night. 

 

All six girls were busy playing a game. Freya was the only one that noticed her father in the doorway and glared, not wanting him to embarrass her. 

 

He only smiled back, signing so he wouldn't interrupt: "[If you need anything, you can come get me or your Mum. We're going to bed now so keep your volume down.]" 

 

She nodded, signing back hurriedly so she could get back to her game, "[Okay, thanks. Goodnight.]" 

 

He chuckled to himself, going back upstairs to River. River was back in their room, fixing the sheets on the bed. He leaned in the doorway. "I can't believe we really have two 16-year-olds in the house." 

 

She smiled, "Yes, it's certainly hard to believe, it feels like they were babies just yesterday." 

 

"Speaking of," he grinned, "you mentioned an ultrasound?" 

 

"I did. Shall we?" 

 

The TARDIS was parked in their bedroom, so they didn't have to go far to pop inside. They left the door open in case one of the children needed to find them then went to the medbay. 

 

River started the ultrasound machine before getting on the exam table. 

 

"Haven't done this in a while have we," he murmured. 

 

"I did it a couple years ago." She murmured quietly, "While you were away." 

 

"Oh." He recalled the sonogram picture River had torn up upon their return from Gallifrey. She knew he'd saved a copy, though neither of them had the hearts yet to look at it again. 

 

She didn't say anything, looking down. He quietly lifted her shirt, putting on the gel before gliding the probe over her skin. She looked up at the screen, watching as their child came into view.  

 

There wasn't a ton to see yet; It looked a bit like a blob with enough shape to tell which end was the head and which was the feet. "There we are." He murmured softly. 

 

The smile returned to River's face and she reached for his free hand.  He squeezed it tightly. "We are going to need that cot, aren't we?" He recalled. 

 

"Yes, but we have a few months to find it." She hummed. 

 

He nodded. "And you don't want to tell anyone until you're through the first stretch?" 

 

She nodded, "Just in case something happens." 

 

"Of course. But you know Vastra's got a nose for these things..." 

 

"Yes, I know. It's fine if she knows, but no one else." She stated firmly. 

 

"I'm sure she won't breathe a word until we do." 

 

She nodded, "I trust her." 

 

He printed a copy of the sonogram for them. "'No one else' includes the kids, yeah?" 

 

She nodded, "Especially the kids." 

 

"I think they'll be happy." 

 

"Me too." She smiled, "Do you want to put this in my box with me?" 

 

"I'd like that very much." He grinned.  

 

She wiped the gel off her abdomen and fixed her shirt. They walked back out of the TARDIS and River got her box off the shelf in her closet.  

 

"I swear the TARDIS makes a bigger version of that box for you every year." 

 

"Well, we keep compiling more and more pictures." She smiled, opening the box up. Regardless of its increasing size, the box still threatened to overflow with pictures. They changed out the picture frames once a month to try to make sure they got looked at, but still, there were many pictures that had yet to have a turn on display. 

 

River smiled. One of the top pictures was of her and Amelia when the girl was around one. The Doctor smiled as well. "’Just yesterday’, hm?" 

 

"It feels like it." She murmured, "They're so grown up now." 

 

"I don't think being embarrassed by everything your parents do is quite there yet." He teased. 

 

"Yes, I know, but still." She smiled weakly, going in to look at a few more pictures. Most of them were baby pictures from the girls' early years. 

 

"They were so sweet." She smiled. 

 

"As opposed to now?" he raised an eyebrow. 

 

"You know what I mean." She put the pictures back, placing the new sonogram in the mix. 

 

"They're brilliant." He murmured affectionately. 

 

"Just like you." She smiled, leaning in to kiss him. 

 

"And you." He added, pressing his lips against hers. She hummed against his lips. 


	51. Great Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the twins get a lovely surprise from Uncle Jack, their parents don't think it's as lovely as they do, and the little ones are caught messing about red-handed (chocolate handed).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The party part 2. Enjoy.

**Ch 51**

 

In the morning The Doctor made a huge breakfast for all 10 of the residents of the house. The girls' friends were all polite, and soon enough their parents had come to get them.

 

Much of the day was spent cleaning up and getting ready for their adult guests to arrive. The Doctor cooked more food for their new batch of guests and Terra giddy helped redecorate, regardless of the eye-rolls from her older sisters. Arthur pestered Freya and Amelia about their birthday gifts wanting to know what they all were and if he could play with them.

 

When it was time, River went to pick up their guests, going to get Vastra first. As the Doctor predicted the night before, Vastra smelled the change in River's biology but gave no hint to it other than a knowing shift in her eyes. She greeted River with a hug.

 

River hugged her tightly, greeting Strax and Jenny similarly. She picked up Jack next, then Clara.

 

"Is Bill coming?" Clara asked River as they landed back at the Song’s house. The two had met some number of months ago and had taken to each other instantly.

 

River nodded, "She was going to drive to the house with Nardole." She opened the doors to the TARDIS where all the children were waiting to greet their guests with enthusiasm.

 

Terra ran to Vastra fist, tackling her with a hug. Vastra wrapped her arms around the little girl, "[Hello, little one.]" She signed once Terra let go.

 

"You hafta look at my decorations!]" She grabbed Vastra's hand, tugging her towards the living room.

 

"[I promise I will, but may I say hello to your brother and sisters first?]" She smiled at the girl's enthusiasm. Terra nodded, letting go.

 

Jack sauntered up to the twins, handing them each a large, wrapped box. "Happy birthday, kiddos."

 

"Can we open them now?" They asked, eyes growing wide.  

 

"Sure!" He grinned.

 

They immediately tore into the gifts, knowing Jack always got the best, biggest ones. Each box had the same things: an assortment of items which included new clothes, gift cards to about a dozen different stores, some nail polish, and a strange looking electronic device among other things.

 

They dug through the boxes, beaming. "What's this?" Freya asked, pulling out the device.

 

"It's your very own time-hopper," he boasted.

 

Their jaws dropped, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" They both squealed, jumping to hug him.

 

He accepted the hugs, glancing at River with his 'I'm the best Uncle' face.  River did not look pleased in the slightest with the new gift, glaring at him.

 

The twins ran off, the rest of the adults following them out. "What's the look for?" Jack asked.

 

"A time hopper? _Really_? They're sixteen, Jack." She crossed her arms.

 

"I knew you'd say that which is why I put tracking on them," he informed her, not yet intimidated.

 

That didn't make her feel much better, "We're going to finish this discussion later." She huffed, going into the other room with everyone else. Still feeling smug, Jack followed.

 

The twins were currently showing off their new devices to their siblings and others. River caught the Doctor's eye from across the room, shooting him a slightly distressed look.

 

He caught on, approaching his daughters. "Em, Freya and Amelia, I want to hold onto those for now until we can have a talk about using them later."

 

"Why? They're ours. Uncle Jack gave them to us." Freya frowned.

 

"I know that. They're still yours, but they're different from anything you've owned before and I don't want you using them until we've had a safety talk."

 

She huffed but handed it over, deciding not to argue. Amelia did so as well.

 

"Thank you." The Doctor murmured. He handed the time-hoppers to River. "Do you want to put these somewhere safe for now?"

 

She nodded, "Thank you."  

 

Freya crossed her arms, resembling what her mother had looked like just a few moments ago with Jack.

 

The doorbell rang just then. "That's probably Bill." The Doctor announced.

 

River went to go put the time hoppers away while Arthur ran to the door to answer it. As predicted, Bill was at the door. Nardole had caught a ride with her and was standing behind her. "Hello!"

 

"Bill!" Arthur hugged her legs.

 

"Good to see you, too, little man. Are we on time?"

 

"Kinda. Everyone else is already here, but that's because Mummy got them in the TARDIS." He explained, taking her hand and pulling her in. She and Nardole followed, the latter muttering about leaving too late. Arthur lead them to where the party was where the other adult greeted them.

 

Vastra caught the Doctor in purposeful conversation as the mingling wen on. "I wanted to consult you before giving your daughters their birthday presents," she murmured.

 

"You didn't get them time travel, too, did you?"

 

"Not quite." She laughed,  "I was going to invite them to stay with me for a part of the summer."

 

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh. Em, well I'd have to ask River about that."

 

"I suspected that was the case."

 

"If she says yes, then go ahead. I'm sure the girls would love that."

 

"Thank you."  Vastra went to find River and propose the question to her.

 

River had come back to the party from storing away the time-hoppers and was talking with Clara and Bill. Vastra approached with a friendly smile. "Excuse me, ladies, may I borrow River for just a moment?"

 

The two women nodded and River stepped aside. Vastra phrased the same question to River as she did before to the Doctor.

 

"Oh..." River hesitated, "Are you sure you'd be alright with that?"

 

Vastra nodded, looking hopeful. "I'm well versed in many skills, River, and caring for your children in one of them. And they’re practically adults now."

 

"I think they'd love that." She nodded, smiling.

 

Vastra let out a breath of relief, hugging River. "I'll ask the girls later."

 

"I'm sure they'll be thrilled."

 

Terra came up to River, tapping her arm. "[Can we eat now?]"

 

"[Of course, darling.]" River nodded, scooping her up.  

 

The large group sat down in the dining room. They had commandeered the kitchen table as an add-on to be able to fit all of them in one setting.  The food was eaten rather quickly, the Doctor getting a great number of compliments on the meal. This body had proved time and time again that he was a better cook than his last face-- not that his last face was a bad cook, but his skills had somehow gone from alright to fantastic.

 

River brought out the cakes when it was time and the whole room sang. Jack, as usual, was the loudest and most dramatic of the bunch. Terra was nearly a match to his theatrics with her exaggerated signs.

 

Amelia and Freya blew out their candles, managing the fine balance between embarrassment and joy.  The children all got generous slices, not waiting for the adults to be served.

 

"Your family gets bigger every year, I swear." Jack teased.

 

The Doctor took River’s hand under the table. River squeezed it. “Work on your math, Jack. We only have four kids."  

 

He glanced at Bill and Nardole. "Kids aren't the only kind of family you've got."

 

"That's true." She nodded, smiling.

 

Vastra glanced at River for a moment as Jack continued, gesturing to Bill and Nardole. "Remind us how you picked up these strays."

 

"Well, it's a bit difficult to remember…”

 

"River was working at my university for a bit. And the Doctor was too, though he's still there." Bill helped fill in.

 

"Yes. Nardole was working as my... assistant?”

 

"Their replacement for you was _awful_." Bill added.

 

River laughed, "Well I'm very sorry to hear that. You're welcome to listen in on my lectures at Luna."

 

"You really mean that?" Bill brightened.

 

"Of course." She smiled, "I know the Doctor's rambles can be a bit dull, sometimes so you're welcome to drop by and see how it's _really_ done." She teased.

 

The Doctor scowled, but Bill beamed. "Thank you so much! I'll be there, definitely."

 

River smiled smugly, looking at the Doctor.

 

"I'm going to bump up your deadline for that," he muttered.

 

"What? That's not fair!" Bill protested.

 

He raised an eyebrow in challenge. "If River turns out to be a better tutor than me, you can enlist her help."

 

Bill smiled, "Oh yeah? Well I think I will."

 

He only frowned more.

 

"[If Bill's going to work with you I want to come, too!]" Terra piped up.

 

River smiled, "[You have your own school to go to my love.]"

 

"[But Bill does, too.]" She frowned. "[Pleaaaassseeee?]"

 

"[How about you go to Daddy's class? We can trade.]"

 

Terra looked pleased with that, nodding. River looked back to her husband, "I don't think I've sat in on one of your lectures.”

 

"You're welcome to as soon as you're done stealing away my students," he said with playful bitterness.

 

"It's not my fault they like me better." She teased right back.

 

"You're baiting them." He grumbled. "If you could stop being so charming for half a second, I'd appreciate it."

 

"Make me." She purred, their conversation growing lower.

 

"That sounds like a threat, Professor."

 

"Maybe it is."

 

"Promise?" He was leaning towards her now.

 

Before River could answer, Nardole coughed very loudly in their direction. River blinked, suddenly remembering they were around people. Nardole made a not-so-sly gesture with his head to the twins who were already flush with second-hand embarrassment. " _Manners_."

 

"Sorry." She whispered, refocusing on the cake. Clara eased back the conversation by asking the twins about their slumber party, which the girls were happy to give every last detail of.

 

Bill arranged to travel with River to Luna in two weeks when River was teaching a weekend class and Terra convinced the Doctor to let her come to his university on Tuesday when she had a half day The twins agreed to Vastra's gift of staying with her in the summer.

 

Their friends were soon bidding them goodbye and the Song Family was left to clean up after the party.  

 

"Mum, when can I have my time-hopper back?" Amelia asked.

 

"After we clean up. Your father and I need to have a talk with you about it."

 

Once the house was clean, Arthur and Terra were made to take Toby in the backyard while River and the Doctor had a talk with the twins. They were all sat in the living room. Amelia looked attentive while Freya looked annoyed.

 

"Girls, the time-hoppers are not toys. They're very complicated tools." The Doctor started.

 

"We know. We're not babies." Freya scowled.

 

"No, you're not. But having these is a huge responsibility. There are rules about Time you must follow, and there will be our own rules of when you can use them." Time-hoppers didn't have the ability to travel in space, but they could travel in time at a max of 100-year jumps and needed at least 30 minutes between activations.

 

"So what are the rules?" Amelia asked.

 

"Never overlap your own timestream. You may never speak to or see your future or past selves. This goes for the rest of the family, too. You can't change the past or try to avoid a future you've already seen happen. Do your very best to avoid spoilers, and yes, that includes peaking to see if you'll win a bet or anything like that. And _no_ using them to cheat in school."

 

"Is that all?"

 

"No." He took a breath. "I want you two to tell me or your mother when you want to use them. We'll be monitoring your use for the first few trips and we'll be coming with you if we deem it fit. If and when it comes that you can go alone, I want you two go together and I want you to bring precautions in case you need to get home and your hopper isn't charged yet."  

 

"When can we go on our first trip?" Freya asked eagerly.

 

"Next weekend. I'm going to hold onto them for now." River stated.

 

Freya was not at all happy about this. "That's no fair! I want to try mine today."

 

"No. It's a school night and you have homework to do." River was firm on this.

 

"I finished most of it on Friday." She argued.

 

"That doesn't change my answer."

 

Freya groaned in disappointment, sinking in her chair with her arms crossed.

 

"I'm sorry, love. I don't feel comfortable with you using it tonight."

 

"Whatever." She muttered.

 

River sighed, "How about you finish whatever work you have left and then do some reading."

 

Nodding, both girls went upstairs, leaving their parents on the couch.

 

River was frowning slightly as they left.

 

"Alright?" The Doctor murmured.

 

"Yeah. Freya's just been so difficult lately."

 

"Being a teenager is a bit difficult." He agreed.

 

She nodded, putting her head in her hands with a sigh. He put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. She leaned against him, finding comfort in his embrace, "Shoud I have let them use the hoppers?"

 

"Next weekend." He repeated her decision. "They need practice with us watching first."

 

She nodded, closing her eyes, more than happy to just stay as they were for a few minutes. Samantha found her way over, jumping up and curling up on River's lap. She pet the cat, "I believe we were interrupted earlier. Maybe you want to give me that kiss now?"

 

He smiled, leaning his head down to give her a proper kiss. She moved her hand to cup his cheek. Samantha readjusted herself to River's shifting.

 

The Doctor hummed. "Better?"

 

"Not quite, maybe one more?"

 

He grinned and obliged without hesitation.

 

She smiled, "That's better."

 

"Glad to be of service."

 

"Shall we head to our room for some downtime?"

 

He nodded. Whether she meant downtime or "downtime" didn't matter as long as he got to be with her. They ended up just laying in bed together, talking quietly. River slowly began to fall asleep, unable to help herself after the long two days.

 

When he thought she was asleep, the Doctor carefully scooted down the bed, putting his head next to River's abdomen. He started murmuring to it in a gentle voice.

 

She only slept for about twenty minutes, stirring, "Doctor?"

 

He lifted his head. "Hmm?"

 

"Have to put kids to bed." She mumbled groggily.

 

"I'll do it in a minute." He offered, letting his hand trace delicate patterns over her middle.

 

She smiled sleepily, "Did I interrupt you?"  

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said innocently as he could.

 

"The baby?"

 

"Maybe." He hummed, pressing a kiss to her hip.

 

"Well, don't let me stop you."

 

He flashed a grin and continued. She closed her eyes to listen to him, falling back to sleep again. Soon he rose to go put the kids to bed, letting River sleep.

 

Terra and Arthur were downstairs, trying to sneak more cake. The Doctor coughed behind them when he found them. "What do you think you two are doing?"

 

Arthur turned around, mouth smeared with cake. Terra didn't notice, reaching for another handful. Arthur nudged his sister. She turned just as she was stuffing a huge handful of cake into her mouth.

 

The Doctor raised his eyebrows at them, waiting to hear their excuse.

 

"It was Terra's idea!" Arthur blamed his sister immediately.

 

The Doctor tried his best not to look amused. "[Terra, is it true that this was your idea?]"

 

She nodded guiltily.

 

"[You do know that your sisters wanted to save that cake?]"

 

She shook her head.

 

"And Arthur, you should have known better." He wasn't going to let the boy wiggle out of this.

 

Arthur looked down at the floor, "Sorry."

 

"I want you both to go apologize to your sisters." He ordered.

 

"But they'll be mad at us!" Arthur protested.

 

"And you should have thought about that before you ate the rest of their birthday cake." He challenged. "Now go apologize."

 

They headed up the stairs, face and hands still messy with cake. The Doctor followed to make sure they followed through and to make sure the twins didn't attempt fratricide.

 

The twins could tell immediately what had happened, getting rather cross. Heads hanging in shame, the younger children apologized. After a few attempts, the twins accepted their apology with the condition that they would help make another make-up cake. The Doctor made them go wash they hands and faces and get ready for bed.

 

All the children were in bed within the hour. Content, the Doctor returned to his own bedroom. River was still asleep on the bed, though she stirred a bit when he came into the room. He smiled at her, crawling into bed beside her. He dropped a kiss to her forehead.

 

"I've got to put kids sleep..." she mumbled, curling against his body.

 

"Already done, my love." He whispered.

 

"All f'them?"

 

He hummed a confirmation.

 

"I should get the cot."

 

"Do it in the morning." He wrapped an arm around her. "Stay."

 

She hummed softly, "Okay."


	52. Just Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins were set to go stay with Vastra for a month starting a few days after Arthur's birthday. They’d had been told about their newest sibling and seemed to be quite excited about it, despite their attempts to act cool. Arthur had been told as well, leaving only Terra in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short. Enjoy.

**Ch 52**

 

Summer approached quickly, bringing warmth and relief from school for everyone. Upon request, Arthur's birthday was spent on K'Tillyr, launching the Songs into their summer travels. 

 

The twins were set to go stay with Vastra for a month starting a few days after Arthur's birthday. They’d had been told about their newest sibling and seemed to be quite excited about it, despite their attempts to act cool. Arthur had been told as well, leaving only Terra in the dark. 

 

The two younger children were currently running around the console room, excited for their latest adventure. The Doctor had promised to take them to a beach where the water was so dense you could hardly ever get your head under without floating back to the top, just as soon as they dropped the twins off. 

 

Lately, he was much more protective of River, doubling checking all their travel locations before they landed. River's middle had grown to a small but noticeable bump though it was still early on. She had been wearing flowing dresses and tops to conceal it so their friends and youngest daughter wouldn't become suspicious. She too was anxious whenever they went out, though she did her very best to hide it. She had been having more nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat most nights murmuring about Gallifrey and Rassilon. 

 

Today, however, she was fussing over the twins, "Are you sure you have everything packed?" 

 

"Yes. You've asked that, like, a million times." Freya shrugged her off. "You know if we forget something you can just bring it." 

 

She held her hands up in surrender, "Alright, you're right. But you remember the rules we put in place?"  

 

She nodded again. "Do everything Aunt Vastra says and if there's trouble don't go in headfirst like Dad." 

 

"Exactly. If you need us, call. We'll come right away." 

 

"We'll be okay," Amelia assured as they landed. “And it’s only for a month.”

 

"I know." River smiled softly, "We'll help you bring your bags out." 

 

Vatsra entered the TARDIS just then, smiling brightly. Terra ran to her Aunt, hugging her legs. "[Hello there, little one. How are you?]" 

 

"[I'm good! We're going to go swimming!]" She informed her Aunt excitedly. 

 

"[How wonderful!]" 

 

The others came over to greet Vastra as the Doctor helped move the girls' bags out. River helped with the bags as well, placing them in the bedroom that the girls would be staying in. 

 

The children were telling Vastra all about their recent whereabouts when the Doctor and River finished moving everything. 

 

"Why don't you two say goodbye and we'll let them go to the beach," Vastra suggested to the twins. They nodded going up to River. 

 

"Goodbye, my loves." River murmured, hugging them both tightly, "Be good." 

 

"And remember to call us, or we'll worry." The Doctor added though they'd worry anyway. 

 

"We will, we promise." Amelia hugged him tightly.  

 

"Good." He murmured. "Give your brother and sister a hug, too, yeah?" 

 

They nodded, moving on to hug the little ones. Vastra came to hug the Doctor, "I'll take good care of them." 

 

"And you'll call if there's trouble? Even a little sign of it." 

 

"Of course. You know that I will." 

 

"I know." He nodded, but couldn't help but to repeat himself. He and River both worried about threats to their children, even if none were readily apparent. 

 

She smiled, not wanting to drag out the goodbye any longer, believing that a shorter one would be less difficult. "Come on girls, we have lots of exciting things to do." 

 

Terra watched from River's side as her sisters left. "[What are they going to do with Auntie Vastra for so long?]" 

 

"[I don't really know. I suppose we'll find out when they call us.]" River smiled. She didn't want Terra to get too upset about her sister's leaving, quickly moving them along to the next activity, "[Shall we go to the beach?]" 

 

The girl nodded. "[Can I help pilot?]" 

 

"[Of course.]" She went over to the controls, helping Terra set the coordinates. Terra knew a lot more about flying the TARDIS than when she had started, though she still had a ways to go, as did her brother. 

 

River made sure they landed safely, triple checking all the scanners. Terra excitedly ran to the door, Arthur following. River took her husband's hand, running a hand along her belly. They followed their children out to the semi-crowded beach. 

 

The Songs set up their beach blankets and umbrellas, Terra and Arthur asking if they could go swim. The Doctor gave the permission but told them to stay in sight. He and River stayed under the shade of the umbrella. 

 

"The girls are going to be okay, right?" River murmured. 

 

"Course." He replied. "Vastra knows what she's doing." 

 

She nodded, "I'm sorry about last night," she whispered. The night before she had several nightmares, waking the Doctor up each time throughout the night. 

 

"No need to apologize." 

 

She smiled weakly, touching her head to his shoulder, "We need to tell Terra about the baby soon." 

 

"She might just guess if you get in a swimsuit." He pointed out. 

 

"Am I really that big?" She murmured, looking down at her stomach, which was a bit visible in her current sitting position. 

 

"Well, you are in your third month, and if you recall, Gallifreyans grow faster than humans." 

 

"I know, but I'm not showing  _ that _ much." She murmured, smoothing her dress out over her abdomen. 

 

"Just my imagination, then?" He raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Well, no. I do think you're right. I'm bigger than normal, which probably means the baby is big." 

 

"And healthy." He added. 

 

"And that's all I care about." She whispered. They'd been doing extra checkups to make things were alright, which so far they were. 

 

"So are you going to go swimming then?" 

 

"Only if you go." She smiled, leaning in and kissing him. 

 

"I will in a bit." He hummed against her lips. "I'm quite comfortable here." 

 

"I'd quite like to spend the next few minutes just kissing you." She purred. His agreement wasn't voiced but rather shown by stealing another kiss from her. River smiled against his lips, pulling him closer to her. 

 

Arthur and Terra squealed happily from the water, too far away and occupied to notice their parent's activity. The two siblings were competing to see who could last underwater the longest, though neither of them could last too long. The competition was also difficult due to the properties of the water making it extra buoyant and hard to stay under. 

 

"[I win!]" Terra exclaimed, thinking she had been able to do it longer than her brother in the last round. 

 

"[Did not.]" Arthur frowned at her. 

 

"[Yeah! I was under for longer.]" She claimed. 

 

"[It was only half a second longer, that doesn't count.]" 

 

"[It does too! Those are the rules!]" 

 

"[I only came up first because I've got water in my ears! It's making my hearing all weird.]" 

 

"[So? You don't need to hear underwater.]" 

 

"[I like to.]” 

 

“[Why?]”

 

“[There are cool sounds down there.]" 

 

"[That’s a stupid reason. I still won.]" 

 

“[You’re just jealous because you can’t hear the sounds.]” He huffed, scowling at her. 

 

"[I'll get Daddy and he can be the judge for the next round.]" Terra offered. 

 

He nodded at that. "[He can help us stay under.]" 

 

They agreed, getting out of the water and running back to her parents. The Doctor and River were still very much wrapped up with each other. Terra stuck out her tongue in disgust, taking a handful of sand and throwing it at them to get their attention. 

 

The Doctor sputtered, pulling away from River. "[Terra! No throwing sand.]" 

 

"[But you weren't paying attention!]" She defended. 

 

"[Then you should have tapped up or asked your brother to call us.]" He scolded. 

 

"[Sorry.]" She looked down at the ground. 

 

"We want you to help us with our contest," Arthur said. 

 

"What contest?" River asked. 

 

"Our who-can-stay-underwater contest." He clarified. 

 

"Oh, well we can do that." She nodded. 

 

"[Will both of you come in the water?]" Terra looked hopeful. River hesitated, glancing at the Doctor. 

 

"It might be a good time to tell her." He murmured. 

 

River nodded, slowly, "[Terra, love, we have something to tell you.]" 

 

"[What?]" She frowned slightly. "[Aren't you coming in the water with us?]" 

 

"[Yes, but there's something we want you to know first.]" 

 

"[Well what is it?]" 

 

"[I'm going to have a baby. You're going to be a big sister.]" 

 

She stared at River, looking quite confused. "[When?]" 

 

"[Five months.]" River smiled hopefully. 

 

"[Is it going to be deaf like me?]" 

 

"[We don't know yet, darling. Probably not.]" She and the Doctor had been running tests to check the baby's hearing and no results were indicating that the baby would be deaf, though they couldn't be positive for another month or two once the hearing had developed more. 

 

"[What if it's not?]" She frowned. 

 

"[It won't make a difference whether the baby is hearing or not. We'll all love it just the same and we'll teach them to sign just like the rest of us.]" 

 

Terra relaxed slightly. "[Is it a boy or girl or something else?]" 

 

"[We haven't checked yet, so we don't know.]" 

 

Terra sat down next to River and pointed at her middle. "[Is it in there?]" She nodded, smoothing back the fabric of her dress so her daughter could see the bump. Terra touched it hesitantly. "[You've gotten rounder.]" 

 

"[Yes, that's what happens when there's a baby growing. When the baby gets a bit bigger we'll be able to feel it kicking.]" She explained. 

 

"[What happens when it comes out? Where's it gonna sleep?]"

 

"[The TARDIS will make a room for it. In the house, Freya is going to move to the spare bedroom downstairs and the baby will have her room.]" River explained. 

 

"[Does Freya know that?]" 

 

"[Yes, she does. We told your sisters before they left and Freya offered to move.]" The room downstairs was a bit bigger than Freya's current room, so she certainly wasn't complaining about the deal. 

 

Terra turned on Arthur. "[Did  _ you  _ know they were having a baby?]" 

 

He nodded, "[I heard them telling Freya and Amelia and they made me promise not to tell.]"  

 

"[How come I'm the last to know?]" Terra asked River.  

 

"[Because you're the only one that hasn't had a younger sibling yet, so we wanted to find the right time to tell you.]" 

 

"[You should have told me first because everyone else already knows what it's like and I don't.]” 

 

River glanced at her husband for help. He smiled at his daughter. "[We wanted it to be an extra big surprise for you. Are you happy about it?]" 

 

She looked a bit hesitant, shrugging. 

 

"I hope it's a boy." Arthur murmured. "I've already got three sisters." 

 

River watched Terra a bit worriedly, "Well, we can't promise anything."  

 

"I know." Arthur nodded. 

 

"[Will you come in the water now?]" Terra asked. 

 

River nodded, she and the Doctor standing. Terra got back to the water as River took off her dress, the swimsuit underneath showing off more of her bump. Arthur followed his sister. 

 

The Doctor took his wife's hand. "Alright?" She shook her head, pulling him closer to her. "What's wrong?" He asked softly. 

 

"I think Terra's upset." She sighed. 

 

"About the baby?" She nodded, pressing her face into his neck.  

 

"She'll come around," he assured. "It'll take time, but she will." 

 

"I hope so." She whispered, "Are you sure it's safe here?" 

 

He nodded. "I checked the scanner three times. So did you." 

 

She looked around the beach, looking at all the people, "And there's no one suspicious here?" 

 

"No one." He confirmed. "Are you uncomfortable here?" 

 

She nodded, though this wasn't unusual. Since she started showing, she was highly protective and a bit paranoid. 

 

"Why don't we help the kids with their competition then we'll go?" 

 

"Okay." She murmured, glancing around again. He squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek and they continued towards the water. 

 

They played with the kids, helping with their competition. The Doctor announced that they would be leaving soon and that the kids should dry off. 

 

"Can we stay longer, please?" Arthur begged. 

 

The Doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid not, but tell you what, we can go out for lunch somewhere nice." 

 

"And can we get dessert?" 

 

"Sure." He nodded. 


	53. Cold Feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She glanced between the image and River's gel-covered stomach. "[How'd it get in there?]"
> 
> "[Um... when two people love each other a lot, they are able to have a baby.]"
> 
> “[That doesn't make sense.]" Terra frowned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late! Busy weekend, ya know? Enjoy!

**Ch 53**

 

River brought her blaster with her to lunch, keeping it strapped to her thigh. The Doctor had chosen somewhere with fewer people both for his own comfort and for River's. She sat next to him, the children on the other side of the table. She held his hand tightly beneath the table, glancing around as they ate. 

 

Unsurprisingly, they ate without a problem and no one approached them but the waiters. The children were digging into their ice cream sundae's soon enough, getting completely messy, of course. They were made to wash up when they returned to the ship. 

 

The Doctor brought the TARDIS back to the flat. "Do you want to come read with me?" River asked softly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

 

He nodded, relaxing at her touch. 

 

"You feel tense." She observed, moving her hands up to rub his shoulders. 

 

"Hadn't noticed." He murmured. 

 

"Is everything okay?"

 

"Yeah." He nodded. "Just worried about you, you know?" 

 

"You don't have to be." She murmured, "I'm okay. Baby's okay." 

 

"I can't help it." He turned to face her. "We have a history of things going wrong, especially when we're expecting." 

 

"I know. But we're being careful, so _ so  _ careful." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach, "We should enjoy this time and try to relax a bit." It was advice that they both needed to take, as she was just as tense as he was. 

 

He smiled weakly. "How about that book then?" 

 

"I'd like that." She smiled back. 

 

They went to the library and picked out one of their favorites to curl up on the couch with. River read first, her voice calm and soothing. He rested his head on her shoulder, eyes closed as he listened. She toyed with his hair as she read, occasionally pressing soft kisses to his forehead. He found himself getting quite sleepy, her voice lulling him. She let her voice grow softer when she felt him relaxing more and more, hoping to lull him to sleep. Her goal was achieved after a few more minutes, the Doctor snoring just a bit. 

 

She stopped reading once he started snoring, smiling softly and kissing his head. She sat with him, closing her eyes as well. 

 

Arthur wandered in at some point without Terra, wondering what his parents were up to. River opened her eyes when she heard her son come in, smiling softly, "Hello, love." She whispered. 

 

"Why is dad sleeping?" He looked at the Doctor. 

 

"He was tired." River murmured, "He fell asleep while we were reading." 

 

"What were you reading?"  

 

"We were reading one of our favorite books. It's a romance between two people in the Andromeda Galaxy. " 

 

He wrinkled his nose and climbed up next to her on the couch. "That sounds boring." 

 

"Well, your father and I like it. What have you and Terra been up to?" 

 

He grinned. "We were playing 'Space Pirates'." 

 

"Oh my, that sounds exciting." She smiled. 

 

"The TARDIS made us a ship and everything." 

 

"Where's Terra now?" 

 

Arthur shrugged and made an 'I don't know' noise. 

 

"Okay, we'll find her later. I want to let Daddy sleep for a bit." 

 

He nodded. "When will the baby kick?" 

 

"Probably not for another month." She murmured, putting her hand on her belly.  

 

Arthur curiously put his hand there, too. "What are you gonna name it?" 

 

"We don't know yet, we haven't decided. Do you have any ideas?" 

 

"I like Amir, like that nice man we met when we went to see Petra being made." 

 

River smiled, "Yes, that's a nice name. Any others?" 

 

"Radovan," he murmured. "Like the man who sold us bread in Prague."  

 

"Your father and I will have to talk about it." She smiled, glancing at her sleeping husband. 

 

"How did you pick all of our names?" he asked. 

 

"Well, you all have names that have some sort of special meaning to us. Amelia is named after your grandmum. Freya's named after Gallifrey. Your name, Arthur, was your granddad's middle name. And Terra was your other grandmum's title." She explained. 

 

"Are you going to name it after someone?" he wondered. 

 

"I don't know yet, maybe. Do you think there is someone we should name the baby after?" 

 

He shrugged. "I don't know enough dead people." 

 

She smiled weakly, "The person doesn't have to be dead in order for you to name the baby after them. Terra's middle name is Vastra and Auntie Vastra isn't dead."  

 

"What about Uncle Jack?" 

 

River laughed, "I don't think your father wants to name the baby after Uncle Jack." 

 

"Why not?" Arthur frowned. 

 

"I don't know." She murmured, "You'll have to ask him about that." 

 

"Does dad have a dad?" 

 

"Yes, he does, but he doesn't talk about his dad very much." 

 

"What was his name?" 

 

"Why don't you talk about this with him when he wakes up." She felt that any questions about the Doctor's father should be answered by the Doctor. 

 

"You mean you don't know?" Arthur continued. 

 

"No, I do know. But I think you need to talk to your father about this." 

 

"Why don't we ever get to meet them? We talk to your parents all the time." 

 

"The situation is a bit different," she murmured. 

 

"How?" he pressed. 

 

"I think you need to talk to your father about it," she repeated. 

 

"You wanted to let him sleep." Arthur reminded. 

 

"I know. I meant when he wakes up." 

 

The boy sighed. "Fine." 

 

They sat for a bit, talking softly so they wouldn't disturb the Doctor. Arthur inquired more about the baby like what color room it would have and if he had to be a babysitter. River asked him to take Toby out once all his questions were answered.  He obliged, leaving them alone. 

 

River watched the Doctor as he slept, surprised he had slept for so long. 

 

The Doctor frowned in his sleep, this shoulders starting to tense. 

 

"Sweetie..." River nudged him softly. 

 

He didn't quite wake up, muttering something that sounded like, "Don't hurt her." 

 

"Doctor." River spoke louder now. 

 

His eyes flung open, his jaw tight. 

 

"It's okay, Doctor. I'm here, you're safe we're both safe." She soothed, cupping his cheek. 

 

He started up at her, realizing where he was and who he was with. "Right... sorry." 

 

"Don't apologize," she murmured, "Do you want to talk about it?" 

 

He blinked hard and sat up. "I'm sure you can make a good guess." 

 

She nodded, "Is there anything I can do?" 

 

He took a breath then took her hand, glancing at her middle for a moment, then back to her face. 

 

"Would it make you feel better if we checked on the baby?" 

 

He nodded, though logically knew that it would be fine. She stood, kissing him softly. He let her lead him to the med bay where the ultrasound was already set up. River lay back on the table. 

 

As the Doctor used the probe to get a good image, Terra wandered in. River waved her over, pointing to the screen, "[This is your little sibling.]" 

 

Skeptically, Terra approached, peering at the discernable humanoid form on the screen. 

 

"[It's still very small so it doesn't look like much.]" 

 

She glanced between the image and River's gel-covered stomach. "[How'd it get in there?]" 

 

"[Um... when two people love each other a lot, they are able to have a baby.]" 

 

“[That doesn't make sense.]" Terra frowned. 

 

River looked up at her husband, "[Well, it's a bit more complicated, but we'll tell you more about it when you're older.]" 

 

"[I'm old enough now!]" She insisted. She was going to turn nine soon. 

 

"[I mean when your Freya and Amelia's age.]" 

 

"[Do they know how it works?]" She asked. River nodded and Terra made a silent resolve to ask her sisters about it when they got back and try to find some books in the meantime. "[What are we gonna do with it?]" 

 

"[What do you mean?]" 

 

"[What do you do with babies? They don't go to school or talk or anything."] 

 

"[We have to take care of it and teach it things. We can hold it and play with it as it gets older.]" She smiled. "[The baby's going to need a lot of attention.]" 

 

Terra frowned at this information, crossing her arms and glaring up at the screen. River frowned slightly as well, "[What's wrong, sweetie]?" 

 

Terra had a big feeling that a new baby was going to occupy her parents' attention by taking away from hers, though she wasn't sure if she wanted to admit that aloud. "[You need to get a babysitter.]" 

 

River shook her head, "[Your father and I will both take some time off of work so we can be with the baby and we'll try to fit our work schedules so at least one of us will be home with the baby at all times. We might need a sitter here and there, but we'll be able to handle it.]"  

 

"[No, you hafta get a babysitter to do it all so you don't waste all your time.]" She insisted.  

 

River was starting to see what was going on now, "[Oh, sweetie. The baby won't take up all of our time. Babies are a lot of work, but I promise that it doesn't mean we won't have time for you.]"  

 

Terra didn't look at all convinced. "[I don't want to be a big sister.]”

 

River tried not to look hurt by this statement, "[Why not?]" 

 

"[You're going to love it more than me!]" She blurted out.  

 

"[No, Terra, no we won't.]" She assured, "[I promise, that will never happen.]" 

 

"[You will because it'll be able to hear you!]" Her expression was getting more distressed. 

 

River wiped the gel off and got off the exam table, going to comfort her daughter, "[Whether the baby can hear or not doesn't matter. We don't love you any less because you're deaf.]" 

 

"[But it would be easier, would it?]" She sniffed. "[If you had a hearing baby, it would be easier.]" 

 

"[It doesn't matter, sweetie. I don't want you to worry about whether it would be easier or harder because it doesn't matter, not in the slightest.]" 

 

"[How do you know you're not gonna love it more than me? What if it comes out and you do?]" 

 

River looked up at her husband for help, not knowing how to explain it to her daughter. 

 

"[Love is a very special emotion, Terra.]" He crouched by them. "[It's special because you can never run out of it. Mummy and I will never run out of love for you.]" 

 

"[But you're going to be too busy to love me.]" 

 

"[Love isn't dependable on time, little star,]" he reminded. "[Do you remember when you had to stay with your grandparents in New York and we couldn't see each other for a long time? Do you think we didn't love you all the time we were away?]” 

 

She shook her head, though she still wasn't happy with the idea of a new sibling. 

 

"[We will love you through anything, including having another baby. And I promise we will always make room to spend time with you.]" 

 

"[Pinky promise?]" 

 

He nodded, holding out his pinky for her. She linked their pinkies, then hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her, humming comfortingly. 

 

"[I want to go play with Arthur and Toby.]" 

 

He nodded letting her go. She left the room, going to find her brother, leaving her parents alone once more. They stood up. 

 

"You alright?" The Doctor asked.

 

"Yes, I'm fine." She sniffed, trying to hide how upset she was. Her hormones were kicking in, causing an intensified reaction to the slightly unpleasant interaction with their daughter. He placed his arm over her shoulder, pulling her to his chest. She sunk into his embrace, buried her face into his chest. 

 

"She'll come around." He murmured. 

 

"Maybe we were selfish when we decided to have another baby." She sniffed. 

 

"Now River, you know that's not true." He rubbed her back soothingly. 

 

"I just want her to be happy." She turned her head so her ear was pressed against his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeats, "I don't want her to ever feel like she's not enough for us." 

 

"I know." He said understandingly. He knew that Terra would probably feel this way until the baby came. 

 

"I want to make it better, but I don't know how." She pressed her face against him again, getting his shirt slightly damp. 

 

"Well her birthday is soon... we could do something extra special with her." He suggested. 

 

"Okay." She nodded, trying to recollect herself, "Are you feeling any better?" 

 

"Yeah." He nodded. His main concerns now surrounded the subject of their daughter. 

 

"The baby looked okay?"

 

"Perfect." He murmured. 

 

"Good." She placed a hand on his cheek, leaning up to kiss him. The kiss was soft and assuring. He wiped away the dampness beneath her eyes when they pulled away. She smiled weakly, just standing there for a bit in his comfort. "I think Arthur wants to have a talk with you later." 

 

"About what?" He asked. 

 

"Your father." She took his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

 

He squeezed back, surprised. "How'd that topic come up?" 

 

"We were talking about naming the baby and I was telling him about how all the kids are named after someone important. He started asking questions about your father and was wondering why we've never met your parents." She murmured. 

 

"What do you want me to tell him?" He asked. There wasn't much of a way to answer Arthur without talking about Gallifrey. 

 

She tensed at the thought of Gallifrey, wrapping a protective arm around her middle, "I don't know. I was going to let you decide." 

 

He nodded. "I don't think I want to tell him too much." 

 

"Okay." She murmured, "That's fine." 

 

"How about I start dinner?" 

 

"I can help." She offered. He smiled and kissed her nose, the two of them heading to the kitchen. 


	54. Of Fathers and Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Would you mind putting your hand here?" She asked, guiding the Doctor's hand to where the baby was resting, hoping it would help. He followed her lead, his hand warm through the fabric of her nighty. The baby kicked against his hand, calmed by the warmth. He nearly gasped. "Did you feel that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the beginning of what will be MAJOR SPOILERS for people who have not seen season 10. People who have seen it can probably guess easily where the next chapter is going. Enjoy!

**Ch 54**

 

The Doctor and River got to work preparing dinner, getting a bit distracted by one another in the process. By the time they were putting a timer on the turkey—a dish of River’s request—they were laughing and teasing each other. 

 

"I did not say that to him!" River batted her husband’s arm. 

 

“You may as well have for all the good it did." He grinned at her. "Did you see the look on his face?" 

 

"Yes, I remember. And I also remember the look on  _ your _ face." She imitated the scowl she was referring to. 

 

"I did not look like that." He scoffed. 

 

"Oh, you so did." She teased. 

 

Arthur and Terra wandered in. "What're you making?" 

 

"Turkey, for dinner." River answered. 

 

"Is it ready?" They peered into the oven window. 

 

"In a bit." 

 

"There'll be mashed potatoes as well." The Doctor added. 

 

"Can we have bacon too?" Arthur asked. 

 

"Turkey  _ and  _ bacon?" He raised a brow. 

 

Arthur nodded, "Because bacon is the best!." 

 

"That actually sounds rather good." River murmured. 

 

"You two have been spending too much time in America." He shook his head affectionately. "Very well, but you've got to eat your vegetables. And that means you too, River Song." 

 

"Yes, sir." She teased. When the turkey was ready they put all the food on the table and sat down to eat. As told, both Arthur and River ate all their vegetables. 

 

"Dad? What's your Dad's name?" Arthur asked. 

 

"...I only knew his title, which was Skef'Alc." The Doctor murmured. 

 

"Does it mean anything?" He asked. 

 

"Um, It means something like 'warrior'." 

 

"Was he nice?" 

 

"I don't really know. I don't think so." 

 

"Oh… What about your mum?" 

 

The Doctor was quiet for a moment. "She did her best to do what was best for me." 

 

"Can we meet her?" 

 

"I'm afraid not." He shook his head. 

 

"Why not? You and Mummy went to Gallifrey, so there has to be a way for us to meet her." 

 

"She wasn't there." His tone grew a bit more serious. 

 

"Where was she? I want to meet her." Arthur pressed. 

 

"She died, Arthur." He stared at his plate. “A long time ago.”

 

"Oh..." He paused for a moment, "But mummy's parents are dead too and we still see them." 

 

"It's different." He sighed. "Mum’s parents were taken by Weeping Anges to live out their lives in peace. My mother... didn't have that luxury." 

 

"What happened?" 

 

"Arthur, let it be." 

 

He stopped asking questions, sensing that if he didn't listen he'd get in trouble. 

 

River put a hand on her husband's arm, trying to comfort him. He tried to change the subject. "I heard you were asking  Mummy about baby names." 

 

Arthur nodded, "Why won't you name a baby after Uncle Jack?"  

 

He tried to laugh. "Because he'd let it go right to his head." 

 

"Can the baby's middle name be Jack?" Arthur asked, thinking that would be better than a first name.  

 

"Your mother and I will think about it." 

 

The rest of dinner finished smoothly and the Doctor did the washing up. River went to put the kids to bed, thinking it might be best for them to go to sleep early after their day at the beach.  

 

"Do you know what happened to Dad's mum?" Arthur asked, getting tucked in. 

 

"Yes, but it's not my story to tell. Maybe he'll tell you when you're older, but for now, it's his story." River murmured, "Go to sleep now, darling." 

 

He nodded closing his eyes. Toby was curled up on his bed with him. She kissed him on the forehead, going to her own room to lay down. 

 

The Doctor was sitting there reading with the lamp on. 

 

"Hey." She murmured, "Are you alright?" 

 

He looked up, nodded, and put the book down. She smiled softly, turning to change into pajamas. He watched. "How're you feeling?" 

 

"I'm tired." She answered as she changed, shrugging, "And a bit sore; normal pregnancy feelings." 

 

He nodded, as familiar with her symptoms as she was. "Anything I can help with?" 

 

She shook her head, climbing into bed once she was dressed, "I can manage. What are you reading?" 

 

"An old classic." He lifted the cover of the book on the nightstand to show her it was his diary. 

 

She smiled, "Oh, I quite like that one. Care to read a bit to me?" 

 

He nodded, opening up to the dog-eared page he was on. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his voice. He mirrored her soft tone from earlier that day with the same intentions as well. She soon fell asleep, content and peaceful. 

 

——————x—————— 

 

It took Terra and Arthur over a week to adjust to the absence of their older siblings, though their routines hadn't changed much; They went out with friends and to planets with their parents. 

 

Terra made a point of trying to find books about where babies came from but had no luck since the TARDIS kept hiding them at her parents' request. Arthur tried to explain it to her when she asked, but he didn't really know the full answer. It only made Terra more impatient for her sisters to arrive home. 

 

The weeks drifted by, and the twins soon were due to return from their adventures with their aunt. 

 

It was still in the early hours of the morning at the Song house when River was woken by the cats jumping on her, groaning, "Honey..." 

 

The Doctor swung a sleepy arm around her waist in response to her voice.

 

"Careful… the baby," she murmured. The baby had grown a considerable amount in the past weeks, with River now unable to conceal the fact that she was pregnant without a perception filter. 

 

"Hmm?" He splayed his hand protectively over her bump. 

 

"The cat." She groaned. Tiber had decided to join his owners on the bed, kneading his claws into River as he got himself comfortable. 

 

The Doctor lifted his hand, waving it in the general direction if the cat. "Shoo." The cat swatted at his hand. "Bad kitty." He opened his eyes enough to scowl. 

 

The cat didn't care, going back to getting comfortable, to which River groaned sleepily, "Doctor… the baby." 

 

He tiredly sat himself up, scooped up the cat, and held him on his own chest. "If you must sit on someone you can sit on me, not River." 

 

The cat purred contently, snuggling in the Doctor's arms. "Better?" He asked River. 

 

"Cold..." She murmured. He scooted closer to her, unable to put his arms around her now because of the cat. 

 

She sighed contently, tucking herself up to him. "Baby's sleepy." She could feel the feeling of sleep weighing heavily on her mind, partly from her own grogginess and partly from their child. The telepathic connection had been developing stronger over the past week, though right now the baby could still only communicate feelings. 

 

"Neither of you have to be awake yet." The Doctor reminded though he was too awake now to go back to sleep. 

 

"Keeping you company." She hummed. Tiber squirmed, finding the Doctor's arms less comfortable than anticipated. 

 

"Is that so?" He let the cat go, making sure he settled somewhere that wasn't right on top of River.

 

"Mmhmm." She hummed. 

 

Now that Tiber wasn't on him, the Doctor adjusted himself to hold his wife once more. "That's alright, you know." 

 

She smiled sleepily, relaxing in his embrace, "Sorry for waking you." 

 

"S'alright." 

 

"Tired..." She mumbled again.  

 

"Sleep, then." He whispered.  

 

"You too." She was already falling back to sleep. 

 

The Doctor stayed awake, fondly watching her sleep. It was only another hour or so before she groaned in pain in her sleep, hands tightening around the fabric of his shirt. 

 

Worriedly, the Doctor shook her shoulder, "River?" 

 

"Stop...please..." She groaned, still sleeping. 

 

He couldn't quite tell if this was a real request or if she was talking to someone in her dream. "River," he said louder.  

 

Her eyes snapped open this time, looking wildly around the room.  

 

"Riv, look at me. You're okay. I'm right here." Her eyes met his, though it still took her a minute to relax. "Are you alright?" He asked softly. He was used to her nightmares and asked every time in case there was something he could do.

 

She nodded, still trying to shake off the lingering impact of the nightmare, "I'm alright. I just...need you." She murmured, wrapping her arms around him tightly. He unquestioningly held her close. "I'm sorry." She whispered quietly as they held one another. 

 

"No need to be." He soothed. 

 

They stayed like that until she felt better, "Did I wake you?" 

 

"I was awake." He admitted. 

 

She nodded, squeezing his hand, "I think I scared the baby." She whispered. 

 

"Think happy thoughts then." 

 

She nodded, closing her eyes to concentrate on the baby. It was currently communicating a scattered gray and dark, slow yellows; fear and confusion.  She focused on emitting warm colors and calm, soothing feelings. The baby started to calm down, the colors growing duller and more relaxed. 

 

"Would you mind putting your hand here?" She asked, guiding the Doctor's hand to where the baby was resting, hoping it would help. He followed her lead, his hand warm through the fabric of her nighty. 

 

The baby kicked against his hand, calmed by the warmth. He nearly gasped. "Did you feel that?" 

 

She smiled, laughing softly, "Yes, I certainly did." 

 

He stroked his thumb over her clothed skin. "You're going to have to start getting used to that." 

 

"I don't mind at all." She hummed. 

 

He grinned. "Do you want its sex to be a surprise or do you want to find out?" 

 

She shrugged, "I made you wait with Terra, so if you want to find out with this baby then that's fine with me." 

 

"I'll have to think about that one." He hummed. 

 

"Baby's strong." She smiled when there was another nudge. 

 

He moved his hands to follow the baby's movement. Regardless of how many times he'd done this before, he still felt a surge of pride fill him. 

 

"Enjoying yourself?" River beamed. 

 

"Very much." 

 

"I think the baby's enjoying itself too." She murmured. 

 

"Good." He smiled.

 

They stayed like that for quite a while, tracing the baby's movements and stretches. Their time was interrupted when Terra wandered in, wanting to get her morning snuggle with her parents. They welcomed her onto the bed, making room for her. 

 

"[What are you doing?]” Terra asked. Usually when she came, her parents were still sleeping. 

 

"[Feeling the baby move.]" The Doctor answered. 

 

She frowned slightly in confusion, "[How?]" 

 

"[With our hands.]" He wiggled his own hand for emphasis. 

 

"[Can I feel?]" She asked hesitantly. 

 

He nodded. Terra slowly reached her hand out. River helped her find where the baby was, the three waiting for the next nudge. It came after a few movements. Terra tried to pull her hand away, startled.

 

River let her pull away, giving her an encouraging smile, "[It's okay, sweetie.]" 

 

"[You're wiggling!]" Terra frowned. 

 

She laughed softly, "[That's the baby.]" 

 

"[Does that mean it's gonna come out now?]" 

 

River shook her head, "[No, the baby still has four months in my belly. Right now it's only stretching and showing off for us.]" 

 

"[Why's it doing that? Will it stop?]" 

 

"[It’s just what babies do. It'll stop when it goes back to sleep.]" River explained. 

 

"[Does it hurt?]" Terra wondered. 

 

She shook her head, "[It feels a bit funny, but it doesn't hurt. Can I get my morning hug now?]" She and the Doctor had made it a point to give Terra hugs every morning, wanting to start the little girl's day off with a confirmation that she was loved. 

 

Terra nodded, giving her mum a big hug around her baby bump. River smiled, hugging back tightly. 

 

"[We're getting Mia and Freya today, right?]" Terra asked. 

 

River nodded, "[We're going to get them around lunch time.]" 

 

"[Why not sooner?]" 

 

"[Because we wanted to give them some time to get ready to come home and we wanted to stay as linear as possible with them.]" River explained. 

 

Terra sighed. "[Okay, but we're having a coming home party, right?]" 

 

"[Yes, a small one with just our family. No Aunts and Uncles.]" 

 

"[With cake, right?]" She looked hopeful. 

 

"[If you'd like. Why don't you go get dressed and we can make a cake together.]" 

 

Terra squirmed off the bed excitedly, going to her room to get dressed. 

 

River smiled softly, watching her go. She then leaned forward to kiss the Doctor, "Care to help me out of bed, husband?" 

 

He smiled and rounded the bed to help her up, Tiber slipping out of the room. 

 

"Thank you." She murmured, brushing her lips against his once more. 

 

"You know, I think I do want to find out soon." He decided.

 

"Any particular reason?" 

 

"I think it'll help Terra connect more if she thinks of the baby as a sibling and not an 'it'." He explained. 

 

She smiled warmly, "That's a very sweet idea." 

 

"Once the baby's big enough." He added. It would still be a couple weeks before that. 

 

"Of course." She smiled, touching their foreheads together. 

 

From the console room, there was a message alert. The Doctor frowned slightly, looking over at the blue box parked in the corner of their room. "Did you hear that?" 

 

"Hmm?" River didn’t seem intrigued, "It's probably Vastra confirming that we're going to pick up the girls." 

 

"Vastra doesn't text." he murmured. She frowned, walking over to the TARDIS. He followed. 

 

On the diagnostic monitor above the control panels where space-time coordinates and a bank number for a 50,000 credit incentive. 

 

"What is this? Who sent this?" River frowned. 

 

"I don't know." The Doctor admitted, frowning at the coordinates. "It's... it’s to the Executioner's Planet." 

 

"You're not going to go are you?" 

 

"The Executioners are a very austere people. They don't just send messages out of the blue..." 

 

"So you  _ are _ going to go. I'm coming with you." 

 

"River whatever they want I can almost guarantee it'll be dangerous." He hesitated. 

 

"Which is  _ exactly _ why I don't want you going alone." She gripped his hand. 

 

"I don't suppose there's any chance of me talking you out of this is there?" He sighed. 

 

"No, there isn't." She stated firmly. 

 

"We can bring Terra and Arthur to Jack's and ask Vastra to keep the girls for a bit longer." 

 

He nodded slowly. "I want to make the kids breakfast first." 

 

"Okay." She whispered, "I'll call Jack to warn him." 

 

He kissed her cheek. "Meet me in the kitchen?" 

 

"Okay." She murmured, going to dial the phone and make the call.


	55. Extremis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind the Doctor, a door opened and a familiar voice rang out, "Oh! Doctor! I didn't expect you. Thought you'd retired. Domestic bliss on some pathetic little cottage on a hill, house full of kiddos—that's the word among the Daleks."
> 
> River tensed beneath the cloak, recognizing the person immediately. The Doctor spun and stared wide-eyed at the woman who'd emerged. "You're dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, MAJOR SPOILERS for season 10 are below, just in case you haven't watched it yet and don't want us to ruin the season arch for you. Enjoy!

**Ch 55**

 

Jack and Vastra both agreed to have the kids for as long as needed. At breakfast, the Doctor and River told the children about the change in plans, playing it off as a minor inconvenience. 

 

Arthur and Terra didn't buy into it easily, asking what was wrong. River tried to assure it was nothing, they ‘just needed to take care of some adult business’. 

 

"Why can't it wait 'till later?" Arthur asked.

 

"Because we want to get it done now so we can all spend time together when your sisters get home." River offered a smile. 

 

He sighed. "You won't be late, will you?" 

 

"We'll try not to be." She gave him a kiss on the forehead, "Go get dressed and we'll bring you by Uncle Jack's." 

 

Though the children didn't want to be left behind, they were excited to see their Uncle, running out the door when they were dropped off and tackling Jack when they arrived at the Hub. Jack promised to take good care of them with a tone that really meant he was going to spoil them. 

 

Once River and the Doctor were back on the TARDIS and in flight, they let their brave faces fall a bit.

 

"I think you should wear a cloak or disguise or something." The Doctor murmured, setting the coordinates. 

 

"Why? I have my perception filter, isn't that enough?" River raised an eyebrow. 

 

He shook his head. "I don't want them remembering your face. They can't know you're my wife or have family connections with me, just in case. ...You can be my priest or something." 

 

“Fine." She muttered, going to get a cloak from the wardrobe. The TARDIS provided a black one big enough to conceal her curls. 

 

The Doctor came up her cupping her hands. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you or the baby, River." 

 

"We'll be fine." She assured him, "I promise, the baby and I will be just fine." 

 

He smiled weakly, kissing her knuckles. "I love you." 

 

"I love you, too." 

 

He pressed his forehead to hers. She pulled him into a tight hug, the baby moving between them. He pulled back after a moment, kneeling down to press a kiss to her middle. 

 

She smiled softly, "Baby loves you too." 

 

"Did they tell you that?" He looked up at her. 

 

"Not with words, but the feeling is there." 

 

"I love you, too, Baby." He kissed the bump again. 

 

"We should go." River murmured, combing her fingers through his hair, "Let's get this over with." 

 

He nodded, rising to his feet and going back to the controls to send them into flight. River had her blaster strapped to her thigh, the cloak managing to conceal her fairly well once it was pulled over her head. 

 

When they landed, she gave the Doctor a final kiss before they walked out. They’d landed on a pebble beach next to a still river. The land masses around them rose high above the water in stone cliffs. Surrounding the TARDIS were humanoid men in green robes. Some of them held tall spears that ended in golden points. There were a few boats in the water as well. 

 

"Thank you for joining us, Doctor" One wearing a wrist device spoke. "And who would this be?" The man asked, nodding to River. 

 

"My... priest." The Doctor answered. 

 

"Ah, very well." He gestured for them to board one of the boats, explaining the nature of the planet to them as they rowed across the river followed by the others. "The destruction of a Time Lord is a particular honor. We have summoned you here, Doctor, to carry out the execution of another Time Lord—as stated by the laws in our Fatality Index." 

 

They were brought to the opposite bank of the river next to a castle where there was a dais. The Doctor swallowed hard, frowning with confusion. The dais had a squared pillar at each corner with a golden orb atop each one. 

 

Rafando made a proud gesture to the platform. "This technology is precisely calibrated. As you can see, it will stop both hearts, all three brain stems, and deliver a cellular shock wave that will permanently disable regenerative ability."

 

"I know how it works." The Doctor muttered. 

 

"You certainly will in a moment. Following termination, the body will be placed in a Quantum Fold chamber, under constant guard for no less than a thousand years. In case of, shall we say,  _ relapses _ . Apologies for our choice, but your people are not easy to come by." 

 

Behind the Doctor, a door opened and a familiar voice rang out, "Oh! Doctor! I didn't expect  _ you _ . Thought you'd retired. _ Domestic bliss _ on some pathetic little cottage on a hill, house full of kiddos—that's the word among the Daleks." 

 

River tensed beneath the cloak, recognizing the person immediately. The Doctor spun and stared wide-eyed at the woman who'd emerged. "You're dead." 

 

"Am I? I had no idea! Well, you'd better let this lot know, 'cause there's no sense in executing me if I'm already dead." Missy smirked.  

 

He took a step back. 

 

"The prisoner will kneel," Rafando ordered, standing menacingly by the dais. 

 

No one moved for a moment, not until two guards moved to escort Missy onto the platform, "Right, thank you." All humor was gone from Missy’s voice as she kneeled in the center of the dais. 

 

Out on the lake, a huge cube with circular panels of Gallifreyan on the faces rose from the water. "The Quantum Fold chamber is prepared." Rafando continued.

 

"Great," Missy muttered. 

 

"The sentence will be carried out. Executioner?" 

 

Stomach twisting, the Doctor glanced at River, then moved next to Rafando to face Missy. Her face was certainly one he'd never thought he'd see again. He'd watched her  _ die _ , watched River take her regeneration energy. It had even been  _ his _ idea to do so, yet here she was breathing and well, but perhaps not for long as she somehow had gotten herself right back into the hangman's noose. 

 

His hand hovered over the lever.

 

"Please, I'll do anything. Just let me live." Missy looked up at him. Compared to the other times he had seen her, her expression wasn't as sinister or mocking, but the most sincere he’d ever seen her as if genuinely pleading for her life. It was convincing, even if it was acting. 

 

Hearts in his throat, he hesitated, then turned to the man next to him. "I'd like a word with my priest." 

 

"I shall seek consultation." Rafando looked down at his wrist device, scrolling through it, "There are four hundred and twelve precedents in the Fatality Index. Divine intervention, therefore, is permitted for a maximum of five minutes." 

 

"Five minutes to live." Missy echoed with disbelief. 

 

Ignoring Missy, Rafando added, "The executioner may now discuss his immortal soul and any peril thereunto."

 

The Doctor retreated quickly over to River, finding her face beneath the cloak and searching it for answers.

 

"You've come over here seeking my approval, but you already know what I'm going to say." She frowned beneath the hood. The frown was probably audible in her tone as was apparent on her face. 

 

"You think I should kill her." He murmured. 

 

"As much as I want to see her properly dead after everything she did to us, I know that killing her is not who you are. It is not what you believe.” She put a hand on his chest, peering up at him. “Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit without hope... without witness... without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis. That belief is one of the many reasons why I love you… My Doctor." She murmured. 

 

He took a deep breath, desperately wanting to kiss her though he knew they had to maintain their roles. "There's something different about her... something's changed." 

 

She wanted to comment, something along the lines of  _ Many people appear to change when begging for their life _ . But she held her tongue. It wasn't her place to change his mind; this was his choice. 

 

"I regret this consultation is over," Rafando called to them. 

 

"I regret it, too. Well, take a few more minutes if you like. Knock yourself out. Actually, do. Do that. Knock yourself  _ right _ out." Missy huffed. 

 

Wishing he could stay by River, the Doctor went back over to his place by the lever, scrubbing a hand down his face. 

 

"I'll be good, I promise. I'll turn, I'll turn good.” Missy begged, close to tears now. “Please... Teach me-teach me how to be good."  

 

He closed his eyes for a moment, looking at her when he opened them. "Without hope... Without witness... Without reward." 

 

"I am your  _ friend _ ." She whispered. 

 

"You've wrecked havoc on my family. It makes no difference." He said carefully. 

 

"I know it doesn't. I know I'm going to die. I have to say it: the truth. Without hope. Without witness. Without reward. I  _ am _ your friend." Her voice broke on the last word. 

 

Jaw tight, the Doctor pulled the lever. Energy surged from the four columns with a bright, smoky flash. Missy collapsed where she knelt, the air going silent. 

 

Turning away, the Doctor stared out at the lake and the Quantum Fold Chamber. His voice was thick as he said, "On my oath as a Time Lord of the Prydonian Chapter, I will guard this body for a thousand years." He could feel something in his mind: a decision being made, though he wasn't sure what he'd just decided. 

 

On the platform, two guards went to retrieve Missy's body. "Oi! Get off. Get off! I've just been executed. Show a little respect." 

 

The guards jumped back in surprise. Doctor reckoned that this must have had something to do with his decision as he spun around in shock. Rafando gaped. "She's-she's alive!" 

 

"I was just a bit sleepy, all right? Let's not split hairs. Shut up. Night-night." Missy huffed, exasperated as she put her head back down and passed out. 

 

"Of course she's not dead." The Doctor said, more to himself than Rafando, though it was loud enough for the others to hear. "She's a friend of mine... At least she used to be... I may have fiddled with your wiring a little bit. Or I will have." He added under his breath. 

 

"You swore an oath." Rafando hissed. 

 

"I swore an oath I'd look after her  _ body  _ for a thousand years." He corrected. "Nobody mentioned dead." 

 

"You cannot do this. You will not leave this planet alive." The man threatened. 

 

"Do me a favour." He sighed because he really had much bigger things to worry about at the moment than the Executioners. And this might just work… "The Fatality Index. Look up, 'The Doctor'." 

 

"You have an entry, just like any other sentient being," Rafando said haughtily. 

 

With a schooled expression the Doctor added: "Under 'Cause of Death'." 

 

Rafando watched as the little device scrolled through the list, clicking at each new line. "You do seem to have an impressive record of fatalities credited to you.” The clicking became faster as more entries poured in. “A truly remarkable record." 

 

The guards around them dropped their weapons, starting to run, "Where are you going? He's unarmed!” Rafando yelled at the others, then turned back to the Doctor. “You are unarmed?" 

 

"Always." He murmured. 

 

"You stand alone?" 

 

"Often."

 

The device was still scrolling, ticking off so fast now that each click blended into the next. " _ You're _ the one who should be afraid." 

 

He glanced over Rafando's shoulder at River. "Never." 

 

He stared at the still clicking device on his wrist and swallow. "Have a nice day, then." He ran, finally having the sense to follow the guards. 

 

Left alone with just River and an unconscious Missy, the Doctor let his breath out. "River, could you help me move Missy to the Vault?" 

 

She pulled back the hood, walking over. She didn't look terribly pleased, eyes on Missy. The Vault seemed to move on its own accord, gliding up to the shore. He and River went over to Missy and hoisted her up by the arms. 

 

"She's heavier than she looks." River muttered, "What exactly do you plan on doing with her?" 

 

"Well... I'll keep her in the vault, like I vowed. I suspect her confession dial is somewhere around here." He glanced at the castle. "If what she confessed to me was true, then I've got my work cut out for me." 

 

River’s jaw tightened as she haphazardly let Missy's body fall onto the floor of the Vault. 

 

He sighed, looking up at her. "Do you have a better plan?" 

 

"No." She admitted, looking away from him. 

 

They closed the vault behind them. "River, this isn't me forgiving her." She nodded, still not saying anything. "I'm going to check for her confession dial." He said quietly. "Will you get the TARDIS?" 

 

"Fine." She murmured, going to retrieve their ship. 

 

Neither of them ran into any more guards, all of them having fled. River landed TARDIS in front of the vault, by now having taken her cloak off. The Doctor was waiting for her, turning a confession dial in his hands. 

 

She opened the door, "Where are you going to keep the vault?" 

 

"I don't want the kids finding it... maybe at the university?" 

 

"That's still near the kids." River murmured, going back to the controls. 

 

"There's a space underneath and out of the way of people." 

 

"And what happens when we're away from Bristol? When we want to travel or spend a few weeks at the flat in London?" 

 

He thought for a moment. "I'll get Nardole to help." 

 

"Nardole won't be able to do much if she breaks out." 

 

"Quantum fold chambers are impossible to break out of." He said, though thought about this and exactly who was being kept inside and added, "He'll call if there's trouble. " 

 

She input the coordinates for the university, making sure the Vault was gravity locked to the TARDIS. 

 

"River... are you angry with me?" He asked as they took flight once more. 

 

"I'm angry that Missy is back in our life." She murmured, not looking at him. 

 

He felt like this was close to a yes, though kept in mind her words from before. "You don't think she can change." 

 

"I don't know, but based on her history, I'm not hopeful." She stared at the controls, "And I'm worried about the safety of our children, especially the baby." She looked up at him, finally, her expression more fearful than before. Before Missy had died, she had taken responsibility for William's death. Now, with Missy back, River was worried that history would repeat itself. 

 

The Doctor moved closer to her. "Missy doesn't know about the baby. We can keep it that way." She nodded slowly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm going to make sure you and the children are safe, River. On my oath, you'll be safe from her." 

 

"I don't want to lose this baby, Doctor. I  _ can't _ . I can't do that again." She sniffed. 

 

He pulled her against him finally, holding her tightly. "You won't. We won't. That's not going to happen." 

 

She was shaking in his arms, holding onto him tightly, "How do you know?" 

 

He hesitated because he honestly didn't know for sure. "You and the baby are healthy, even more so that compared to the past. I'm not going to let Missy near you." 

 

She nodded, "Okay... I trust you." 


	56. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If anything happens to my husband, I will cut off your hands and shove them down your throat." She added.
> 
> "This one hasn't changed a bit," Missy said half to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy December, people. Enjoy!

**Ch 56**

 

About an hour was spent using the TARDIS to put the Vault in the space below the university and put in place a few perception filters so no one would wander in accidentally. After all the safety measures were set up, they picked up Nardole and brought him down to the Vault to explain to him the bare minimum of what they wanted him to help with. 

 

"Would you mind if I laid down for a bit before we get the kids?" River asked softly, once Nardole was all caught up.

 

"Not at all." The Doctor nodded. She smiled weakly, giving him a kiss before heading into the TARDIS, leaving the others in front of the Vault.

 

The Doctor looked at Nardole. "I want checks on the security. Daily." 

 

The other man nodded nervously, "W-What about...eating? Do we have to feed her?" 

 

"Take out will suffice. She doesn't need to eat as often as a human, so I should be able to take care of it." 

 

Nardole scratched his head, "Are you going to go check on her  _ now _ ?" 

 

"No." He said firmly. The Doctor was determined not to let Missy have any dictation over his life even though she was now very apparent in it. "I've got to pick up my daughters." 

 

"But River said she was going to sleep." Nardole was afraid that if the Doctor didn't check on Missy now, it would be left to him later and he certainly did not want to be alone with her. 

 

He scrubbed a hand over his face. "What's your point." 

 

"You have time to check on Missy s-so I don't have to." He smiled hopefully. 

 

The Doctor nearly groaned and was about to tell Nardole that there was nothing to be afraid of when he realized there actually probably was. "Fine." He huffed. "Stand guard, will you?"  Swallowing, the Doctor unlocked the four seals to secure the massive vault doors and entered. 

 

It was bigger on the inside of course. The cement floors were only countered in tone by the fake windows. Missy was wondering around the empty area, looking up when she heard him enter, "I was wondering when you'd come." 

 

He said nothing, closing the doors behind him and moving to sit in one of the two chairs he'd put in there. 

 

"So?" Missy circled him before plopping into the other chair, "You changed." 

 

"In theory, so have you." He murmured, staring at the center of the room. 

 

"The last time I saw you, you were still wearing bow-ties. What happened?" 

 

"Long story. Last I saw you, you were quite dead. What happened?"  

 

"Long story." She mirrored his words. 

 

He sighed glancing at her for just a moment. "To make it short, I took a little trip to home. They didn't take kindly to it." 

 

"I was granted more regenerations by the High Council." She offered at his confession. 

 

He tensed. "I dispatched the High Council." 

 

"I'm aware." She nodded, "It was the  _ new _ High Council that granted me the lives—trying to drum up support for their cause I guess, though I hear that  _ that _ new Council has fallen, too. Taken out one by one in just over a year… Your doing I suspect?" 

 

He said nothing again for a few minutes. "Did you mean it?" 

 

"Yes." She whispered. 

 

"Going cold turkey from being bad... it's not going to be easy." 

 

"I'm ready to change, Doctor." 

 

He looked at her for longer this time. "You understand that I can't really trust you after all you've done to my family. Not easily." 

 

"Yes, I understand. Though I would like to..." She swallowed, forcing the word out, "Apologize to you and your family, if I'm allowed." 

 

He couldn’t help the surprised look on his face before shaking his head. "You're not there yet.  _ We're _ not there yet. It'll be a long time yet before I allow you face to face with anyone, especially them." 

 

"She's still around then? The one with the big hair. And you've got the three wee ones." Her tone wasn't angry or spiteful, just curious. 

 

He nodded, deciding that letting her know about the other children would come later if ever. "Yes, the ones you terrorized."  

 

"Yes." She nodded, "I find that less entertaining now." 

 

The conversation was surprising him. The Doctor had been bracing himself for all of this to have been a trick, for her to have only said she'd do this to avoid death. He'd expected her to try to break out the moment she woke up, or try to kill him, or something of the likes. He still held the defense in his head that it could still be an act, but so far, she was just proving him right to have spared her life. "That's good." 

 

"I don't know if that's a good idea..." Nardole's muffled voice could be heard as the vault doors opened. 

 

The Doctor stood, turning to see who was coming in. River stood in the now open doors, blaster in hand. 

 

"River..." The Doctor frowned slightly. "What are you doing with that?" 

 

"Taking precautions." She went right up to Missy, "If you lay a hand on my children, I will not hesitate to use this on you, is that understood?" 

 

"Loud and clear." Missy gave a salute. 

 

"If anything happens to my husband, I will cut off your hands and shove them down your throat." She added. 

 

"This one hasn't changed a bit," Missy said half to herself. 

 

River's jaw tightened, "You're right. My opinions of you haven't changed in the slightest. You terrorized my family and I will not let whatever  _ this _ is distract me from that." 

 

"I'm not trying to distract you, dearie, I'm trying to be good. Full oil change, here. I'm quitting "cold turkey" as him indoors put it." 

 

River glanced at her husband for confirmation. 

 

He gave a nod as Missy continued, "He also said you weren't ready to... take my apology. I don't always like taking is advice, so I'd like to give it to you anyways and as many times after that as I need to." She paused, the words still foreign on her own tongue. "I'm sorry for what I did." 

 

"He's right, I'm not ready to accept. Not until you prove that those aren't just empty words and that you actually mean it." 

 

Missy nodded with no accompanying witty remark. "I understand." 

 

River squared her shoulders, looking at the Doctor, "We should go." He made a noise of agreement and moved to follow River. 

 

"Wait! Before you'd go, I'd like to make a few requests." Missy stood. 

 

The Doctor wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. "What?" 

 

"I'd like a piano, some books, a blanket and a heater." She listed, "I need something to entertain me for the next thousand years." 

 

He was silent for a moment before, "I'll think about it." 

 

"Thank you." 

 

River took his hand, leading him out. The left in the TARDIS, setting a course for Jack's. 

 

River took off her perception filter, opening the doors when they landed. Whatever disquiet that settled in her with Missy’s presence now lurking in her life, she pushed it down to focus on her children. Terra and Arthur ran up to River as soon as the doors opened, Jack close behind. 

 

"Hello, my darlings." River smiled, bending down to hug them. 

 

"Hey River, where's  _ my  _ hug." Jack teased. 

 

River laughed, standing up and holding her arms out wide, "Come and get it." 

 

He hesitated, eyes widening excitedly as he finally saw her fully. "Woah there, when did that happen?" He pointed to her middle. 

 

She smiled, putting a hand on her stomach, "About four months ago." 

 

"Well, why'd you wait so long to tell me?" He laughed, pulling her into a hug. 

 

She hugged him tightly, "The Doctor and I have just been being extra careful." 

 

He nodded. "Pleeease tell me I'm finally getting a namesake?" 

 

She looked back at her husband, "We'll consider it." 

 

"I want to name it after Uncle Jack." Arthur piped up. 

 

"That's my nephew!" Jack cheered, giving Arthur a high-five. "Please, Doc? We all know I'm the best Uncle." He winked at the kids. 

 

"I make zero promises." The Doctor crossed his arms. 

 

"Ah well, you'll come around." Jack patted the man on the back, "How many do ya got in there this time? I know you two have a knack for multiples." He teased. 

 

"Just one." He assured. 

 

"Well, it looks like a healthy one. You look great, River." He winked again. 

 

"Stop it, Jack." The Doctor groaned. 

 

"What?" He looked at him innocently. 

 

"You know perfectly well what." He scolded. 

 

"Jealous, sweetie." River teased, coming over and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

 

"I'm not jealous." The Doctor insisted. 

 

"You've got that scowl on." She murmured. He looked a bit flustered, trying to make his expression less severe before she added, purring lowly in his ear. "I think it's quite sexy." 

 

He relaxed and stopped trying to fight his eyebrows. "The jealousy or the scowl?" 

 

"Both." She smiled. 

 

"Alright, alright," Jack interrupted. "I'll stop if you will." 

 

"Too much for you to handle?" River raised a brow. 

 

"More like too much for your children." He gestured to the kids who were making faces at the adults. 

 

"Yes, I suppose we should spare our children." 

 

"[Can we get Mia and Freya now?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[Of course.]" 

 

The family bid Jack goodbye after he insisted they had a baby shower soon and dematerialized to go pick up the twins. 

 

They arrived at Vastra's, Terra and Arthur running out the doors. The Paternoster Gang was waiting to greet them, the twins still packing upstairs. 

 

"Hello, little ones." Vastra smiled. 

 

"Auntie Vastra!" Terra chirped. Vastra's name was one of the few things she had started to say out loud. 

 

Vastra bent down the scoop up the girl. "[How are you?]" 

 

"[I'm good.]" 

 

Vastra looked up as the Doctor and River approached, eyes falling where Jack's had. "Congratulations, River." 

 

"Thank you." River smiled, "Though I suspect you already knew about it." 

 

"Guilty as charged." She chuckled. "But I'm glad you've decided to officially announce it. When are you due?" 

 

"In about four months." 

 

"Do you know what you're going to name it?" Jenny asked. 

 

She shook her head, "Not yet. We haven't found out the sex yet either. Though the baby did start kicking today." 

 

"That's wonderful." Vastra grinned. 

 

The girls came downstairs just then with their bags. "Mum! Dad!" 

 

"Hello, girls." River beamed. The twins ran to hug their father first, then their mother. 

 

"Are two ready to go home?" The Doctor asked.

 

They nodded, "Thank you for letting us stay here." Amelia said to Vastra. 

 

"It was my pleasure," Vastra replied. "I do hope to see you all again soon." 

 

"I promise we'll have you over to the house for tea soon." River agreed. 

 

Vastra hugged them goodbye and waved them off. 

 

Once back in the flat, River helped the twins get settled again, helping them unpack and asking them all about their trip. They gladly told River all the details over the whole of the afternoon. 

 

The dinner was delightful with the whole family back together again, almost enough to make the adults forget about the events earlier that day. After dinner, the children went to go play together, happy to be back with one another. They played football in the backyard of the house as their parents watched from inside. 

 

"How're you feeling?" The Doctor asked. 

 

"I'm happy the kids are back..." She murmured, "But I'm still worried about Missy." 

 

He made a noise of agreement. "I don't want to tell the kids about her." 

 

"I don't want to either." She whispered, rubbing his arm softly. 

 

"I want to believe she's going to change, River. ...I really want to believe that." 

 

"I know you do." She kissed his shoulder. They both knew his hope was dangerous and could very well get them into trouble later, but there was no reason yet to dampen it. Missy showed promise, at least the Doctor thought so. Whether his judgment was sound was up for debate. 

 

"I'm going to talk to her regularly if I can. She'll need direction." 

 

River tensed at this, "Okay..." 

 

"Do you think I shouldn't?" 

 

"It's not up to me. She's your responsibility." River murmured. 

 

"I know but you're my family. You come first." 

 

"You made an oath." She reminded. 

 

"And I made a vow. I can keep both." 

 

She sighed, "You're so....good and kind. I'm worried that Missy is taking advantage of that and that she's laying a trap that you're going to fall into." 

 

He nodded slowly, having had the same thought, though he was a bit helpless to stop himself from falling. "You could come with me... " It was more of a question than a suggestion. 

 

"What about the baby?" She frowned slightly. 

 

"She won't hurt it. You and I can make sure of that." He assured, then added, "I can put a containment field in there for her for when we're there." 

 

"Are you sure it'll be safe." She asked, squeezing his hand. 

 

"I think so. ...We should let her acclimate first." 

 

River nodded, "Can we talk about something else now?" 

 

"Sure." He thought for a moment. "Baby shower?" 

 

"Do you think we should have one?" She smiled softly. 

 

"I think we're going to get one whether we plan one or not. I, for one, am not leaving Jack to surprise us." 

 

“It might be interesting." She teased. 

 

"Interesting and disaster are synonyms when it comes to Jack." The Doctor reminded. 

 

She hummed, "You don't think Terra will get upset will you?" 

 

"About the baby shower?" 

 

River nodded, "We had one for Arthur, but we didn't have one for Terra." 

 

"Didn't we? Well, I suppose we did have all we needed already." He stared out the window as Terra blocked Arthur from making a goal. 

 

"I'm worried that if we have one for the baby and she finds out we didn't have one for her then she'll read into it too much." 

 

"So you don't want a baby shower?" He asked. 

 

"I do want one, but I think we shouldn't have one for the sake of our daughter." 

 

"If that's how you feel, then I'll let Jack know." He kissed her cheek. 

 

"Thanks." She smiled softly. 

 

"Do you want to play a bit for me?" She nodded towards the guitar sitting in the living room. 

 

"I'd love to." He took her hand, leading her to the other room. 

 

She plopped down on the couch, putting her feet up. He took his guitar, sitting by her feet and starting one of her preferred songs. She closed her eyes, listening to the song and smiling. The children all eventually came inside, sitting on the rug to listen as well. 


	57. Early Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But I'm afraid I won't get everything done in time. Our house is so much bigger than the flat in London and there's so much to do to get ready for the baby."
> 
> "I guess time travel can't solve everything." He teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter, very "slice of life"-esque. Enjoy!

**Ch 57**

 

“Baby’s kicking,” River broke the silence. All the children, with the exception of Terra, looked over excitedly and River waved them over.They crowded around River's stomach, putting their hands there to feel the baby. River made them take turns. 

 

Terra sat back, arms crossed. The Doctor looked over. "[Alright, sweetheart?]" 

 

"[I want them to play with  _ me _ !]" 

 

"[They will in a moment.]" He assured. 

 

"[I don't want them to play with the baby.]" 

 

He frowned slightly. "[Why not?]" 

 

"[Because I don't like it.]" 

 

"[Well they're going to play with the new baby in the future, too. That's what siblings do. They'll play with both of you.]" 

 

She looked more distraught by this, "[What if the new baby is better than me?]" 

 

"[You're both wonderful, Terra. Neither one of you will be better than the other, you're both amazing in different ways.]" 

 

"[But if the baby can hear then that's better, right?]" 

 

"[It's not better or worse.]" He soothed. 

 

She held her arms up for him to pick her up, still pouting. He put his guitar aside and scooped her up. "[Do you want to feel the baby?]" 

 

"[Are you going to?]" Terra would do it if her father was going to do it. 

 

“[Yes,]” He nodded with a warm smile. 

 

"[Okay.]" She sighed. 

 

He placed his hand on River's stomach as Terra did the same, the other children moving out of the way. River smiled up at him, the two waiting for the baby to move. It kicked after a minute, brushing against Terra's hand. 

 

Terra tried to jerk away again. 

 

"[It's okay.]" The Doctor assured. "[It's supposed to do that, it's not going to hurt you.]" 

 

"[It’s weird!]" He smiled. 

 

"[Weird how, my little star?]" 

 

"[It feels funny.]" She wiped her hand off in her shirt as if she had just touched something slimy. 

 

"[It's quite normal. I bet it feels a little funny to Mummy, too.]" 

 

Terra hugged the Doctor tightly, not wanting to feel the baby anymore. He wrapped his arms around her and started humming to comfort her. 

 

"I think it's time for her to go to bed." River murmured. 

 

He nodded, standing with the girl in his arms. Terra snuggled against her father, closing her eyes. He brought her up to her room, pulling out pajamas for her. 

 

"[Can you sleep in my bed tonight?]" She asked. 

 

He smiled. "[I'm afraid not, but Mr. Thomas will keep you company,]" he said as the cat jumped onto the bed. 

 

"[Why won't you stay?]" she asked. 

 

"[I've got to sleep in my own bed with Mummy.]" 

 

"[But Mummy has the baby to keep her company so she doesn't need you.]" 

 

"[I suppose so, but I need her.]" He explained, laughing slightly. 

 

"[Why?]" 

 

"[Because I love her very much and being close to her helps me sleep.]" 

 

"[Oh...like when Toby sleeps on my bed?]" 

 

He nodded. "[Yes, like that.]" 

 

"[Will you read me a story then?]" 

 

"[Do you want to pick one out?]" 

 

She nodded, going to her bookshelf and pulling out a book called,  _ Baby Zygon Plays Chess.  _ He read the book to her, tucking her in after it was finished. 

 

The other children were now heading to bed, stopping to say goodnight to their father. He made sure the other three were seen to, though by now the twins were in charge of their own bedtime and Arthur only needed a little tucking in. 

 

He came downstairs after the kids were settled to find River in the kitchen. Her back was to him and she appeared to be cleaning off the countertops. He came up behind her, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. 

 

She jumped, whirling around, though she relaxed when she saw it was him, "You startled me." 

 

"Sorry, dear." 

 

"It's okay." She murmured. 

 

"Cleaning up?" He asked. 

 

She nodded, "Looked messy in here" 

 

"Want help?" He offered. 

 

"Sure." She nodded again. 

 

He helped River clean up the kitchen, putting things away as she wiped down the counters. After the kitchen was done, she wanted to clean up the living room, putting away the toys that were out. They spent a while cleaning up the downstairs, making soft conversation as they did. 

 

"We should get paints for the baby's room," he suggested.

 

She nodded, "And we should get some new toys and blankets. We could make a trip tomorrow." 

 

"We could, though we can't start painting until Freya moves into the downstairs room." He reminded. 

 

"Right. Maybe we could move her down here tomorrow then." 

 

They finished cleaning and retired to their room.

 

"I'm going to take a shower, do you want to come?" She asked, already starting to undress. He nodded, doing the same and joining her under the running water. 

 

His chest was pressed against her back. “I didn't think we'd be nesting so early." 

 

"I feel like I need to get it done." She murmured, leaning her head back on his shoulder. 

 

"So you can have time to relax later?" He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his hands on her belly. 

 

She placed her hands on his, "I suppose so. But I'm afraid I won't get everything done in time. Our house is so much bigger than the flat in London and there's so much to do to get ready for the baby." 

 

"I guess time travel can't solve  _ everything _ ." He teased. "We've got so many helping hands, I'm sure we can get it all done in time." 

 

"I know, but I want it done the right way." She murmured, implying that she wanted to oversee everything that was done. "We only have four months and we have to move Freya downstairs. Then I'm sure she's going to want to repaint the room, which will mean all the other children will want something done to their rooms. We also have to get the baby's room ready and you know we have a list of other things I want to be done." 

 

"One thing at a time, my love." He pressed a kiss just below her ear. "Let's start with what we're going to do tomorrow and go from there, yeah?" 

 

"Okay." She smiled weakly. 

 

"We'll ask Freya what color she wants her new room and we'll paint it before we move her things." His voice was soft and he kissed her again, this time on her shoulder. "The kids can come to the store with us if they want." 

 

"That sounds good." She breathed, finding what he was doing very comforting. 

 

"What color do you want the baby's room to be?" He started absently tracing patterns over the skin of her abdomen. 

 

"Probably green." She murmured, closing her eyes. 

 

"I like the green." He hummed. 

 

They talked softly to one another during the shower, the Doctor massaging River's shoulders and back as he did. She melted beneath his touch as he did this, completely relaxed when it was finally time for them to get out of the shower. 

 

They donned their pajamas and settled into bed. "Are you going to see Missy tomorrow?" She asked quietly. 

 

"I don't know." He admitted. "Maybe just to bring her some food..." 

 

"Okay..." She breathed, squeezing his hand. 

 

He squeezed back and leaned forward, kissing her properly. 

 

"What was that for?" She murmured once the kiss had ended. 

 

"Because I love you." He smiled gently. 

 

"I love you too." She smiled back. 

 

-x-

 

In the morning, they told the children the plan for the day and breakfast. As predicted, they all wanted new paint for their rooms as well. 

 

They took the children to the paint shop, letting each of them pick out the new color they wanted. Freya chose a blue similar to the TARDIS, and Amelia chose a lighter blue. Arthur picked out a brownish red color while Terra changed her mind about who paint and decided she wanted a new shelf instead. She stayed by her father’s side while they shopped.

 

River had seen staring at the greens for a few minutes.

 

“Can't choose?" The Doctor asked.

 

She shook her head, "Which do you like better?" She held up two paint swatches, both a shade of pale green. 

 

"Em..." They looked about the same to him, so he pointed to the left one. "That one." 

 

"Okay." She nodded, touching Terra's cheek, "[Are you sure you don't want paint, my sweet?]" 

 

"[I like my room's color already. ]" 

 

They paid for the paint, deciding not to pick up Terra's shelf today. They'd have to go to the furniture store anyways to get things for the baby, so they'd get the shelf then. 

 

They spent until lunch moving the furniture out of the downstairs room in preparation for the paint. The Doctor insisted on not letting River lift any of the heavy things, recruiting the children to help instead. 

 

"Are you sure you don't want my help?" River fretted, not wanting any of the children to get hurt moving furniture. 

 

"We've got it." The Doctor insisted. They were moving the guest bed now, him at one end and three of the children at the other. 

 

"Where exactly is all this furniture going to go?" She asked, looking at the living room, which was now full of pieces from the room. 

 

"We're going to take it apart!" Arthur said excitedly. 

 

"The TARDIS and the basement, I would think." The Doctor added.

 

"Okay." She murmured, sitting down on one of the chairs. 

 

Arthur was about to start looking for a screwdriver when the Doctor stopped him. "Lunch first." 

 

The kids asked for sandwiches for lunch. The Doctor got to work on those as the kids took a break outside. River helped him make the food. "You can relax for a bit if you'd like. You've done a lot of heavy lifting today." 

 

"I don't mind," he murmured. 

 

"Are you sure?" She touched his arm. He offered a smile and nodded. 

 

The kids were called inside shortly for lunch. Freya was eager to get started on her room, eating quickly. 

 

The rest of the day was spent painting Freya's new room. The Doctor barred River from doing this as well, worried about the paint fumes. The twins helped in her place. River helped by keeping the two little ones occupied and out of the way of the painting. (Freya had been clear that she didn't want her younger siblings messing up the paint in her room.) 

 

Arthur wanted to help move the guest furniture to the basement from the living room, though with only River and Terra to help, none of them could lift the big things. River let them move the small things like lamps and pictures. She also had them help pack away the sheets and extra pillows. 

 

Terra became bored after awhile, bothering River to come read to her. River agreed once everything that could be done was finished. She and Terra settled on the couch with a book. It was a book of fairy tales from Narloria. Terra stuck her thumb in her mouth as she watched her mother sign. 

 

River sat there with her for as long as she wanted, reading and then re-reading the book to her. Arthur sat in at one of the last stories and asked afterward if they could order pizza for dinner. River agreed, calling in their order. 

 

The family ate happily when the food arrived, half of them covered in paint. 

 

"How's the painting coming along?" River asked. 

 

"We're going to add another layer tomorrow." The Doctor informed her. 

 

She nodded, "It looks like you could use a shower." 

 

He grinned. "After dinner." 

 

"Okay." She murmured, leaning in to kiss him. 

 

Terra stuck her tongue out at her parents' display of affection. River sighed, "I guess we're going to have to keep the kissing till after dinner too." 

 

"The baby thinks it's gross, too," Arthur said. 

 

"Oh really? Is that so?" River raised her eyebrow. 

 

The boy nodded. "That's why it's been kicking you." 

 

She laughed, "I think the baby likes it when we kiss. I think the kicking means it wants us to kiss  _ more _ ." She teased. 

 

"Nuh-uh." Arthur shook his head. 

 

River smiled, putting a hand on her belly, "I think so." In reality, River was probably closer to right since the baby responded to her emotions, and the ones that came with kissing were generally good emotions.

 

After dinner, the twins claimed rights to the shower while Terra and Arthur sat down to watch a cartoon. 

 

River did the dishes. The Doctor helped her out with them, the two talking quietly as they did, but were soon distracted by each other. There were only a few dishes left in the sink, though they chose to ignore them over each other. River tugged her husband closer, finding herself between him and the sink. The baby kicked between them, excited by River's excitement. 

 

"We should go upstairs." River murmured. 

 

"You think so?" Her husband asked, voice low. 

 

"I want you." She breathed, "So unless you want to do it right here, I think we  _ need _ to go upstairs." 

 

"Yes, dear." He chuckled throatily. 

 

"Are you laughing at me?" She teased. 

 

He kissed her jaw. "I don't know what you're talking about, wife." 

 

She hummed, tilting her head back. "Will the kids be alright without us?" 

 

He continued kissing her. "Will the kids be alright without us?"

 

She whimpered, "Better than if they catch us."

 

He continued kissing her. "Fair point." He hummed against her skin. She whimpered again, pulling him closer. "We should really go upstairs..." He said, though wasn't stopping. She hummed in agreement, though made no effort to move either. 

 

The baby kicked again and the Doctor finally pulled away to look at River. She pouted, looking up at him. He took her hand, pulling her away from the sink and towards the stairs. None of the kids bothered them once their door was shut, too occupied with their own activities. 

 

-x-

 

River kissed the Doctor’s shoulder, humming softly as they lay tangled in the sheets. The Doctor had his hand over her middle, feeling the light movements of their child. 

 

"We should do it more often." She smiled. 

 

"Am I slacking?" He wondered. 

 

"No." She laughed softly, "I think my hormones are spiking my libido. And with the baby coming, we're going to have less time to ourselves soon." 

 

"I have a way with time, you know." He tapped her nose. 

 

"Oh, do you now?" She smiled. He hummed an affirmative, placing a kiss there as well. 

 

"We should put the kids to bed soon," he said after a moment. 

 

"Do we have to get up?" She pouted. 

 

"Well, you could stay in bed and I can do it." He suggested. 

 

"It's not the same without you here with me. I can help." 

 

"If you say so." He moved to kiss her softly.

 

She hummed against his lips, putting her hand on his cheek. Warmth spread across their skin at every point of contact and he put his hand over hers, smiling. "Love you." 

 

"Love you too." She murmured. 

 

They stayed like that a while longer before finally drawing up the energy to get up and see their youngests to bed. The two kids didn't give them too much trouble, requesting stories as usual. After reading books and tucking them in, River and the Doctor met back in their own room and got comfortable in bed again. 

 

River curled up next to him, "Doctor?" 

 

"Hmm?" 

 

"Are you sure that the baby's going to be safe with Missy so close?" 

 

"I.. think so." He said slowly. "Nardole's been sending me updates, she's still secure." 

 

"Okay..." She whispered, "I know we've talked about this, but...she took responsibility for William's death. She made it happen and she was  _ proud _ of it. I don't want her to get the opportunity to do that again." 

 

"We're different people than we were when that happened. She's different, too. We won't let anything come to that, I promise." 

 

She nodded slowly, though his words weren't terribly comforting. 

 

"...Do you want me to talk to her?" He asked. 

 

"About the baby?" 

 

"No, not necessarily... just give her a warning or something." He explained. If there was one thing Missy understood, it was consequence, and as it seemed, he was still a liability for her. "Set clear ground rules." 

 

"Okay." She nodded, "That would be good." 

 

"Tomorrow then." He agreed. 

 

"Okay, tomorrow." 

 

He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Goodnight." 

 

"Goodnight." She whispered, closing her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I start doing a "next time" thing at the end of chapters? Thoughts, please!


	58. How Much Blood Spilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He exhaled through his nose. "You haven't started think about your victims yet, have you."
> 
> "Not yet." She crossed her arms.
> 
> "Well, why don't you go and start with my family, hm?" The suggestion was bitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short one today, sorry! Enjoy.

**Ch 58**

 

The next day the Doctor finished another coat of paint in Freya’s new room going to see Missy with a pocket full of scones, which happened to be after lunch. 

 

Missy, of course, was still in the vault, sitting in one of the chairs and reading a book that Nardole had brought from the Doctor's office. 

 

The Doctor dropped a scone into her lap upon entering the vault. 

 

"Hello to you too." Missy murmured, taking the scone off her lap. 

 

"I don't suppose Nardole's brought you any food?" He asked, settling into the chair near her. 

 

"He dropped off a pack of crisps." She nodded to the still unopened package on the floor beside her. 

 

"Not fond of 'Prawn Cocktail', then?" 

 

"Not particularly." She took a bite of the scone, "You?" 

 

"I'll trade you some more scones for them." He offered. 

 

"Fine." She picked the bag up and tossed it to him. He tossed her the bag of scones simultaneously. 

 

"How many times over have you read that book?" 

 

"Seven so far. I find the ending gets more and more predictable each time I read it." She put the book down. 

 

"I'll think about some new ones." He muttered. 

 

"You didn't bring the Mrs with you this time?" 

 

"Does it matter?" He watched her carefully. 

 

She shrugged, "No, but I thought you two did  _ everything _ together." 

 

"That's not how being married works." He sighed. 

 

"I know that." 

 

He was silent for a moment. "You know the reason I haven't put many distractions in here is because I want you to think." 

 

"About what?" 

 

"About yourself. About all you've done; the evil. You've taken lives, even more lives than I have. I want you to think about that." He didn't phrase it like a question, but it wasn't quite an order either. 

 

"Yes, dad." She gave him a small salute. 

 

He huffed, slightly irritated. "Don't call me that." 

 

"Why not?" 

 

"Because you're not a child, let alone my child. That title is reserved for only them to use." 

 

"Alright then,  _ Doctor _ ." She crossed her arms, "Better?" 

 

He nodded, going quiet for another minute. "I have nightmares about it, you know." 

 

"About what? You're going to have to be more specific." 

 

"What you did to my children." He muttered. 

 

"Which ones?" 

 

He tried not to glare, "All of them." 

 

"I'm sorry for what I did." She tried.

 

"Sorry isn't good enough. I need you to show me you won't go near them, not even a step, without my word." 

 

"Well, I'm still in here, aren't I?" 

 

He nodded slowly. "Yes, I suppose you are... are you going to stay then?" 

 

"That's the plan." 

 

"You understand, that breaking this promise will almost certainly lead to your death by either my hand or River's." 

 

"Yes." She said in mocking tone, "I'm not daft." 

 

He seemed satisfied with her answers, for now, settling to eat his crisps. 

 

"So..." Missy said after about ten minutes of listening to the crunch or crisps, "Anything else?" 

 

He exhaled through his nose. "You haven't started think about your victims yet, have you." 

 

"Not yet." She crossed her arms. 

 

"Well, why don't you go and start with my family, hm?" The suggestion was bitter. 

 

She scowled but did as she was told. He got up, pacing and watching her. 

 

It was a great deal of silence before she finally looked at him again eyes watery. Quietly he approached her again, crouching down in front of her. She looked at him, a tear rolling down her cheek. 

 

"I'm sorry, but this is good." He whispered. 

 

She turned her face away from him "Okay." 

 

Rising to his feet, he said, "I'll have Nardole bring you some real food tonight." 

 

"Alright." She nodded. 

 

He wondered if these tears were genuine or just a ploy. It made his stomach tighten to think of the possibility that they were the latter. His own memories of the night William was born were bubbling to the surface, reminding him of the pain and anger that would never truly leave him. 

 

He felt a strong urge to find out if she was really remorseful or not, so he leaned down and brought his fingers to her temple with silent asking for permission. She gave a slight nod, allowing him to enter. Her mind wasn't a stranger to his, he'd been in it before a very, very long time ago. Regardless, he was cautious to make sure this was a one-way visit and he looked for the emotions he hoped she had. 

 

The Doctor was a bit relieved to see that she did feel guilty, but he something in him wanted her to understand exactly the pain she'd caused. He carefully allowed her to see glimpses of his memories of that night. 

 

She tried to jerk away at the first memory, not wanting to see. He held on, needing her to see this. It was one thing to feel bad, but he wanted her to understand exactly what it was to mourn someone irreplaceable. He had no doubt that his family wasn't the only one in the universe who had suffered like this by Missy's hand. 

 

"Stop!" She tried to push him away. He pulled his hand away from her head, staring. She got out of the chair, fleeing to the other side of the vault. 

 

Sighing, he finally moving to leave. He went back home with the TARDIS, trying not to let the memories flood him. 

 

Back at the house, River was pacing, anxious about what was going on with Missy. All the children were occupied at friend's houses, so she didn't have to worry about them seeing her. 

 

He parked the ship in their room, finding River downstairs. He found himself a bit drained from the visit, though tried to lighten himself up a bit by saying: "Honey, I'm home." 

 

"And what sort of time do you call this?" River smiled softly, turning to him. 

 

"Traffic was hell," he murmured, moving to kiss her. 

 

She hummed against his lips, "How was she?" 

 

"Remorseful." He whispered. She scoffed, not believing him. "What?" 

 

"I doubt that." 

 

He sat down on the couch, gesturing for her to sit next to him. "I looked in her mind, it seems her she really is feeling regret." 

 

She crosses her arms, looking away from him. 

 

"What's wrong?" He asked. 

 

"You know how much I hate that she's here. She's causing us so much stress." 

 

"Progress isn't easy, but you know I believe it can be made." 

 

"I know you do. That's the only reason I agreed to this." 

 

"I suppose she'd be dead if you didn't." He murmured to himself. "I gave her another warning like I said I would. She understood." 

 

"Thank you." She murmured. 

 

He continued to tell her about the details of his visit in a level tone. River tried not to appear as worried as she felt, though the skin around her nails was already worn and loose. 

 

He watched her carefully as he finished the recount, seeing right through her. "You look worried." 

 

"I'm fine." She tried to assure him. 

 

"I'm not." He murmured. "I rather think I could use a distraction." 

 

"What kind of distraction?" 

 

The corners of his lips raised with the sordid ideas that came to mind. "Well, the kids aren't here... That is a rare occurrence these days."  

 

"Well, Mr Song," She purred, "I think you're going to have to get me in the mood first." 

 

He grinned and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. She laughed softly, leaning in to kiss him. He hummed against her lips, trying his best to push Missy out of his mind. Their actions grew more passionate with the attempt to clear their minds. 

 

-x-

 

"Feel better?" River asked. They'd moved upstairs to the bedroom now curled up to each other under the sheets. 

 

"Yes, a bit." 

 

"Good, I'm glad." She nuzzled his chest softly. 

 

"And you?" 

 

She tensed, "I'm fine." 

 

With his arms around her, he could detect the lie easily. "I'll finish putting away the guest furniture today," he murmured, changing the subject.

 

"I can help." She whispered, "I don't want you to have to do it by yourself."  

 

"I don't want you to do any heavy lifting." He pressed a kiss to her head. 

 

"I'll only take the light things, I promise." She smiled softly. 

 

"Very well, but maybe in a bit." He hummed, not wanting to move. They stayed like that for a while longer, then spent the majority of the afternoon moving the furniture into the basement and the TARDIS. 

 

They picked up Arthur and Terra after dinner since they'd decided not to have sleepovers and spent a while in the backyard playing football with them and Toby. Terra and the Doctor were on a team with Arthur and River on the opposite team. They played for quite a while, the two children doing most of the running. Toby seemed to be on both teams and ran in whichever direction the ball was going. 

 

They played until the sun went down, at which point the Doctor made the kids go wind down and start getting ready for bed. River put the toys in the yard away, then went to go tidy up inside. 

 

When both kids were asleep, the adults quietly took to the kitchen for a little wind down of their own. The Doctor pours drinks, a hard cider for himself and virgin ginger ale for River.

 

"Are you going to go see Missy again tomorrow?" River asked quietly, taking a sip of her ginger ale. 

 

"Maybe not." He replied in the same tone. He was still shaken from the last visit and Missy certainly seemed apprehensive to him when he'd left. She visibly relaxed at that.

 

He didn't speak for a moment. "I've been thinking, Riv."  

 

"About?" 

 

"I think it might be a good idea to make time pass more quickly inside the Vault." He said slowly. 

 

"Why?" She asked. 

 

"One thousand years is a very long time, even for someone like me." He murmured. "I don't want our kids to grow up with her indefinitely over their shoulder. I don't want our baby to be born with 999 years of waiting to go. We can't live like this for that long to see if she maybe pops out good." 

 

"I think that's a good idea." She nodded. If they sped up time, then her fear of living out the rest of their lives having to watch over Missy would be solved. "But what about when we go to see her? We'd have to be able to shut it down for those periods of time." 

 

"Yes," he nodded. "Nardole and I can work on that. Even if we couldn't, a visit might only seem like a few seconds in there from out here." 

 

"Okay, good." She touched his arm comfortingly. 

 

He put his hand over hers. "I'll inform Nardole this week. We can get started soon." 

 

"You're brilliant." She murmured, giving him a soft smile. 

 

"You flatter." He offered a smile back and took a sip of his drink. 

 

They chatted for a while, a bit about their plans for the house and bit of non-directional talk. After a while, they headed upstairs to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Because there have been about 3 years for the Songs since the Doctor regenerated, I just wanted to clear up the timeline and how old the kids are since I feel like it's a bit confusing. (I made myself a little chart in my notebook for my reference.) 
> 
> So it's July right now. The twins are 16 and a half-ish since their birthday is in late April. Arthur just turned 11-- he has a late June birthday. Terra is about to turn 8 in August. Felix is due late October. (William would've been 13 ish, and the baby lost on Gallifrey about 2) 
> 
> Hope that cleared up things. Hmu with questions if you have any :)


	59. Adjust the Sails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a surprise baby shower, of course I didn't tell either of you." Jack defended.
> 
> "But we told you that we didn't want one!" River snapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 59**

 

By the end of the week, Freya was officially moved into the downstairs room and the baby's new room had been painted a mint green. The Doctor and River discussed ideas for the nursery all of next week and helped Amelia and Arthur paint their rooms as well. 

 

River had been very insistent on not letting any animals or dirty-handed children enter the nursery and had already shouted at one of the cats after he had been found rolling around on the carpet and shedding all over the pristine room. 

 

The Doctor tried to relieve his wife's nerves as best he knew how to. His most frequent strategies were tea and satisfying the urges River insisted were only so intense because of her hormones.

 

River was having a particularly bad day one morning. The children were staying out of her way, knowing better than to cross their mother when she was in a mood like this. The twins had just gone out to walk Toby after the poor dog had made the mistake of trying to give River some affection whilst she was cleaning. Again. 

 

The Doctor came in with her second cuppa of the day. 

 

"I don't want that in here. What if it spills on the carpet?" She crossed her arms. 

 

"Then I'll wash it up and it'll be good as new." He said calmly. "Why don't you take a break to drink it, hmm?" 

 

She reluctantly agreed, taking the cup from him, "Thanks." 

 

"You know, I rather think the baby's room is clean enough." He murmured as they went to sit in the kitchen. 

 

"I still have to dust again." She shook her head. "I want to get out all the dirt that Toby dragged in earlier." 

 

"A little dirt isn't going to hurt the baby, you know. It'll help build its immune system." 

 

She sighed, "Yes, I know. I just want everything to be perfect." 

 

"I know. You were like this before Terra was born," he recalled. "Though, I didn't expect it so early." 

 

"I'm sorry. It just helps keep my mind off of… Missy." She murmured, putting her head in her free hand. He put his hand on her shoulder soothingly. 

 

He'd started the Vault on its own time so every day in the real word was ten years for Missy. If all went as planned, 1000 years would pass for her shortly after the baby was born. 

 

"I'm sorry." She sniffed. Although time was passing much quicker for Missy now, River had begun to worry about what would happen when the Time Lady was released from the vault. As much as she tried to hide how much the situation was affecting her, she was starting to lose sleep over it. 

 

He offered her a handkerchief from his pocket. "It's alright, there's nothing to be sorry about." 

 

She declined the handkerchief, wiping at her eyes. He pulled her into his arms after a moment, stroking her hair back in a soothing manner. She sighed, trying to relax in his embrace. 

 

"Jack wants all of us to come over after lunch." The Doctor murmured after a while. 

 

"Okay, I suppose we can go when the twins get back with Toby." She closed her eyes. 

 

"Anything I can do for you in the meantime?" He offered. 

 

"Just stay here with me, please?" She asked softly. 

 

"Of course." He smiled. 

 

Eventually, the twins came home with Toby, at which point the Doctor told them to go get ready to see Jack. They went to wash up, meeting their parents in the console room of the TARDIS. Terra and Arthur were already there, and the whole family was soon off to Cardiff. 

 

The children, as usual, ran out once they landed to see their uncle. The Hub seemed a little darker than usual. Jack greeted the children with big hugs. 

 

"It's a bit dark in here." River murmured, stepping out of the ship. 

 

"Glad you noticed." Jack grinned. "I have a surprise." 

 

She raised an eyebrow, "A surprise?" 

 

He nodded with that smug look he often got when he thought he was being clever. He skipped over to where the lights were and counted down from three out loud. When he got to one, he turned on the lights revealing that pretty much all of their friends were there shouting, "Surprise!" 

 

"What's all this?" She looked around, eyebrows still raised. 

 

"Your baby shower, of course!" Jack answered excitedly, making a broad gesture to where they'd set up cake and presents and chairs. 

 

She tried to smile, though she couldn't help but be a bit cross. "Thank you so much, but Jack, can we talk in the TARDIS for a minute?" She grabbed the Doctor's arm, "You too." 

 

Jack nodded slowly, growing confused. The Doctor wasn't so confused, having a good guess as to what was coming. 

 

Ignoring their parents, the children went to help themselves to the food. 

 

River led the two into the TARDIS, closing the door behind her. She looked between the two met, letting a little more of her annoyance show, "I thought we talked about this." 

 

"River, I had no idea Jack was going to do this. All he told me was that he wanted to treat us all to lunch!" The Doctor explained. 

 

She turned her glare to Jack, eyes narrowing. 

 

"It's a  _ surprise  _ baby shower, of course I didn't tell either of you." Jack defended. 

 

"But we told you that we didn't want one!" River snapped. She took a breath to calm down before continuing, "We appreciate the effort, but we don't think it's fair to Terra. She's been having a hard time adjusting to the idea of getting a new sibling and we didn't want her getting upset over the shower." 

 

Jack huffed slightly. "If that's what you're worried about, just let Ianto and I take her out for some Uncle Time while you eat cake." 

 

She sighed, "Okay. I just… I feel so horrible about how upset she's been. I don't want her to be pushed anymore than she needs to be." She looked up at her husband. 

 

He agreed wholeheartedly with her, "Let's try Jack's idea. Jack, if she gets upset I want you to call us and we'll take her home." 

 

She sighed, "We should go back out." 

 

The men nodded. "I'll let Terra know she's going with Jack." The Doctor squeezed her hand. 

 

She nodded, opening the door to nearly trip over her youngest. 

"[Are you alright, my star?]" The Doctor peered down at her. 

 

"[Why are we having a party for the baby? It's not even here.]" 

 

He scooped her up. "[I know, but it will be soon. Our friends just want to show us that they're happy for us.]" 

 

"[We only do stuff for the stupid baby now.]" She crossed her arms. 

 

He frowned at her language which was strong for an almost-eight-year-old. "[The baby isn't stupid, but tell you what: Do you want to spend special time with your uncles without it being about the new baby?]" 

 

"[Will you come too?]" 

 

He glanced back at River, then looked back at his daughter. "[It'll just be Jack and Ianto with you this time, lovie.]" 

 

She still didn't look pleased but agreed to go. Jack called Ianto over and the three of them headed out. 

 

River tried to enjoy the party, though it was difficult not to think about her little girl being upset. The Songs were given a number of practical gifts for the baby, none of which were surprising, but they were still appreciated. Jack had set up a few games for them all the play, as well as a bet on the baby's gender. There were loads of sweets and Arthur and the twins made sure to have their fill and then some. 

 

The Doctor found himself amused by the betting. It wasn't anything new and Vastra always claimed that she never took part in it, though the Doctor had a hunch she told Jenny what to bet for, which was why she was known to win. 

 

"You know, Riv, we could find out if we want," he hummed.

 

She smiled, "Yes, I suppose we could." 

 

"No more surprises then?" He teased. 

 

"I won't make you wait this time." She shook her head, laughing softly. 

 

He kissed her temple. "Let's find out after this, then." 

 

"Okay." She nodded. 

 

He glanced at Vastra and Jenny who joined the conversation. "What are you hoping for?" 

 

"You know I don’t have a preference.” River murmured, "We haven't even really thought about names yet." 

 

"We could take suggestions." 

 

"Well, I've heard that Jack is hoping you'll name the baby after him if it's a boy." Vastra teased. 

 

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "No matter how many times I try to pop that man's bubble, it never works." 

 

She laughed, "I'm sure you two will think of something beautiful, you always do." 

 

"I like Daisy," Jenny added in. "If it's a girl." 

 

"That's a very lovely name." River smiled. 

 

Jack and Ianto returned with Terra, the little girl holding a new stuffie and a huge ice cream cone. 

 

"I suppose that's our cue to go." The Doctor rose. "It was lovely seeing you all, unexpected or not," he said as everyone exchanged goodbye hugs. 

 

"Thank you so much for everything. It's so kind of you to do this for us." River hugged their friends as well. 

 

Terra hung onto River's leg until everyone had been thanked. River scooped her up, despite knowing it would earn her a scolding from her husband when they got back inside.  

 

"River..." The Doctor predictably said, closing the door behind them. 

 

"Hmm?" She looked up at him innocently. 

 

"You shouldn't be lifting her." He murmured. 

 

"I'll be fine. She needs this." 

 

He looked like he wanted to protest, but moved to pilot home instead. River sat down with Terra, hoping that would make the Doctor feel a bit better. "[Did you have fun with Uncle Jack?]" 

 

The girl nodded. "[We went to the cinema]." 

 

"[Oh, wonderful. What did you see?]" 

 

"[Wonder Woman!]" She grinned. 

 

"[Did you enjoy it?]"

 

Terra nodded. "[Can you fight like that?]" 

 

"[Yes, something like that.]" River laughed.

 

"[Did my grandparents teach you?]" "

 

[No, I learned... somewhere else, but that's a story for another time.]" 

 

"[Will you teach me?]" She asked as they landed home. 

 

"[Of course I've taught a bit to your brother and sisters.]" The other children nodded a confirmation. "[Do you want to learn today?]" 

 

Terra nodded eagerly, though the Doctor looked hesitant. River glanced at her husband. 

 

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He leaned against the console. 

 

"I'm not going to do anything too intense. Just simple things." She assured.  

 

"Alright..." he said protectively. 

 

River took Terra to the backyard, teaching her a couple of defensive moves. Arthur became interested and joined in the lesson as the Doctor watched from the kitchen window.  

 

River made sure to be extremely careful, especially when the children were practicing. Arthur was happy to help demonstrate to Terra things River had already taught him. 

 

River eventually left the two of them to practice in the backyard, going inside to sit on the couch, rather exhausted. Her husband joined her. "You look tired." 

 

"I am pretty tired." She admitted. 

 

"Here." He murmured gently instead of saying 'I told you so'. He leaned down and pulled her feet up onto his lap and started massaging them. She hummed contently, closing her eyes. 

 

They spend a while like that, quiet and content. Toby pawed at the back door at one point, but Amelia came downstairs to let him out, then went to watch telly with Freya. 

 

River started to fall asleep, though was awoken by a sharp pang in her side. The Doctor over at her with a slight frown. "Alright?"

 

"Yeah, it was just a strong kick." She smiled weakly. 

 

"Are you sure?" He asked protectively. 

 

"Positive. Want to feel?" 

 

He nodded, putting his palm on the curve of her abdomen. The baby kicked beneath his hand, a kick strong once again. "I think Baby is jealous of your fighting lessons." He teased with a soft smile. 

 

She laughed softly, "You think so?" 

 

He nodded. "I think we're going to have our hands full when they learn to walk." 

 

"We certainly are." She beamed, "Now, did you want to do a scan?" 

 

He nodded again, moving to help her up. She had a bit of difficulty, even with his help. He wisely didn't comment on this, glancing at the twins. "We're going to find out what sex the baby is, do you want to come?" 

 

The two nodded eagerly, turning off the telly. "Go see if your siblings want to come, too." The Doctor told them. 

 

Amelia and Freya left, returning shortly with Arthur.  

 

"Where's Terra?" He asked. 

 

"She went to her room. She said she doesn't ca-...uh...she doesn't want to know." Amelia explained. 

 

The Doctor glanced at River, the two of them silently agreeing to go check on their youngest.

 

He looked at the children. "...We're actually going to wait a bit for the ultrasound. We'll tell you when we're going to do it." 

 

"Okay." The three dispersed, going back to their original activity. 

 

The Doctor and River made their way to Terra's room, peering inside. Terra was crying face down on her bed, the sight breaking River's hearts. They exchanged glances and flickered the lights to let Terra know they were there. 

 

The littlest Song looked up, sniffling. 

 

"[What's wrong, my little star?]" They moved to sit on the edge of her bed, pulling the girl into their arms. 

 

"[I don't like Baby. Everyone likes Baby more than me.]" She sniffed, snuggling into her parents’ embrace. 

 

"[That's not true, lovie, I promise. We love you just as much as we always have. No more and no less than any of your siblings.]" The Doctor explained.

 

“[But you didn't come with me to the movie today and Arthur stopped playing with me because of dumb baby.]" 

 

The Doctor looked a little helpless, so River took over. "[That doesn't mean we love the baby more than we love you.]" She assured, "[Uncle Jack threw us that party for us, all of our friends were there to see us, so we couldn't leave. And Arthur was just excited to know if the baby is a boy or a girl, I'm sure he'll go back to playing with you as soon as we're finished.]" She gave Terra a kiss on the forehead, "[With a new baby, we might not always be able to do the things you want to do at the exact moment you want to do them, but I promise that doesn't mean we don't love and care about you.]" 

 

"[I don't want it to change.]" She whimpered. "[I like our family how it is, why does it have to change?]" 

 

River was the one to not have an answer this time, just pulling her daughter closer. "[I'm sorry, sweetie.]" 

 

"[I promise you, Terra, our family is not going to change that much, just because of the new baby.]" The Doctor soothed. 

 

"[But it's a whole new person. I don't want another person.]" She hugged her father tightly. 

 

He squeezed back. "[Babies are different from people, you know. They don't come out knowing who they are.]" 

 

"[But I like being the littlest.]"  

 

He hesitated. "[You've never wanted to be a big sister?]" She shook. He stroked her hair back. "[Is there anything that would make you feel better about it?]" 

 

She shrugged, looking up at his face with her big green eyes. 

 

"[I think it might be nice to ask your brother and sisters why they like having a little sibling.]" He suggested softly.  "[Shall we go do that now, hmm?]" 

 

She nodded slowly, still sniffing. He stood with her still in his arms. River followed them.


	60. I’ll Make a Desert of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra nodded in agreement, "[So we don't need another baby because we already have each other.]"
> 
> He shook his head. "[No, we need another baby so I can get away with more stuff while you and it distract Mum and Dad.]"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long awaited finding out of the baby's sex. Enjoy.

**Ch 60**

 

The three went downstairs to where the twins were watching telly. "Girls, your sister has a question for you.”

 

The twins looked at Terra expectantly, who slowly signed, "[Do you like being big sisters?]" 

 

They were both quick to nod. "[It means I can be the boss.]" Freya said. 

 

Terra's eyes went wide with that statement. She was used to being bossed around during their games and hadn't thought about the fact that she could now be the boss of someone. 

 

"[Yeah, and whenever you or Arthur don't know something, we can tell you and then you think we're the smartest people ever.]" Amelia added. 

 

"[Did you always want to be a big sister?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[Pretty much.]" Freya confirmed and Amelia nodded as well. They could both still remember their excitement for William's arrival and their insistence that River gave them a little brother when they didn't get one the first time. 

 

Terra looked at her Father, frowning at the fact that she didn't have the same feelings. "[Does being the boss sound like any fun?]" He asked her. 

 

She nodded hesitantly.  He could see that while this was helping slightly, but it wasn't doing the whole trick. River quietly thanked her two older daughters for their efforts, following as they went to talk with Arthur. 

 

"[Do you like being a big brother?]" Terra asked.  

 

Arthur nodded like his sisters did. "[I like having you to play what I want with.]" 

 

Terra nodded in agreement, "[So we don't need another baby because we already have each other.]" 

 

He shook his head. "[No, we need another baby so I can get away with more stuff while you and it distract Mum and Dad.]" 

 

"Arthur!" River shot him a look, though Terra giggled. 

 

He quickly realized his mistake. "Er... I was just kidding!" 

 

"Mmm-hmm." She raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. 

 

He gave the most innocent smile he could manage. "[I'm excited about the baby because I want a brother.]" 

 

"[Well, we don't know if it's a boy.]" River reminded. 

 

"[Auntie Jenny bet that it would be a boy.]" He pointed out. 

 

"[Yes, but that doesn't guarantee anything.]"  

 

Terra was not getting any assurance from where the conversation was going, pouting more as it went on. 

 

River noticed the pout, "[Either way, having a baby sibling isn't so bad. Right Arthur?]" 

 

He nodded. "[It's awesome!]" 

 

River looked hopefully at her daughter. Terra shrugged, looking away. River’s face fell and her gaze shifted to the Doctor. 

 

"[We'd love it if you came with us for the ultrasound.]" The Doctor urged. 

 

Terra hesitated but finally agreed. He offered a smile and gestured for Arthur to come as well. Arthur followed, eager to find out if his aunt was right. The twins were recruited as well, the lot of them piling into the med bay excitedly.  

 

River got on the exam table, and Amelia offered to hold Terra’s hand. The Doctor put Terra down and set up the machine. Terra hugged her sister’s leg, looking at the machine uneasily.  

 

An image of the baby flickered into sight on the screen. The Doctor moved the probe around for a minute or two before pausing, smiling, and pointing to a spot on the screen. "There we are." 

 

All the children, except Terra, smiled and awed at the image. 

 

"[What is it?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[A boy. You're going to have a brother.]" He smiled. 

 

She looked slightly relieved at this news. Meanwhile, Arthur was jumping around the room, cheering, “Finally! A brother!”

 

The Doctor looked at River. "I'm still not letting you name him after Jack." 

 

She laughed, "That's fine by me, it's Jack that's going to be complaining." 

 

"I can deal with him." He stole a quick kiss from her, then gave his attention to Terra. "[Was that so bad?]" 

 

The little girl shook her head. 

 

"[Do you want to try?]" He offered her the probe. 

 

She took the probe from him, pressing it against River's skin.  Skeptically, she angled the probe around, watching as the image changed in real time along with her movements. 

 

"[Do you see the baby?]" River asked. 

 

She nodded. "[How can you tell it's a boy?]" 

 

"[Well, because boys are a bit different from girls—]"  

 

"[I know the difference.]" Terra stared at the screen. "[...So that's his head?]" She pointed. 

 

River hummed, overlooking the interruption. "[Yes, it is.]" 

 

"[Then there are his feet.]" She traced the image curiously. 

 

"[Yes, you're right.]" 

 

"[He doesn't really look like a whole person, though.]" 

 

"[Well, that's because he's still growing. He still has a couple months before he's ready to be born.]" 

 

"[What happens when he's born?]" 

 

The Doctor answered this, "[You and your siblings will go with one of our friends while he's being born because we'll be very focused on doing that.]" 

 

Terra nodded slowly, "[Did I look funny before I was born?]" 

 

"[Funny how?]" He clarified. 

 

"[Not finished.]" She pointed to the scan of the baby again, "[Like that.]" 

 

"[Yes, I suppose you were. All babies look like that when they're still growing.]" 

 

"[Do you have a picture?]" she asked. 

 

He nodded. "[Let's clean up here then go see, hmm?]" 

 

They wiped the gel off of River's skin and printed a picture of the baby before shutting down the machine. 

 

The twins went back in the house to watch their show again, while Arthur opted to follow Terra and his parents to their TARDIS bedroom. The Doctor found River's picture box and settled on the bed with her and the kids, sorting through it to find the sonograms of Terra. 

 

River found one of the first ones almost immediately, "[Here you are,]" she smiled, handing Terra the picture. 

 

The girl examined it closely. "[I look kinda the same as Baby.]" 

 

River nodded, "[Yes, you do look quite similar.]" 

 

"[Is the baby going to look like me? He’s from Dad’s new face.]" 

 

"[Well, you're both from my same face, so I think he will.]" 

 

"[Do you have any pictures of us right when we were born?]" 

 

River nodded, digging through the box until she found a picture of Terra that had been taken right after she was born. In the photo, River and the Doctor were cooing over the baby girl. 

 

Terra stared for a long minute, "[Is he going to be that small?]" 

 

"[He's going to be pretty small, but maybe not exactly as small as you were." Judging from the scans that they had been doing, the baby was bigger than the other children had been. 

 

"[Why not? Aren't all babies the same size?]" 

 

"[No, all babies are different. Size depends on when they're born, how they grow and their own personal genetics.]" 

 

"[How big is the baby going to be?]" 

 

"[Well, right now the baby is this big.]" River showed her with her hands, "[So in the next couple months he'll grow a bit more and be this big.]" 

 

Terra looked calculatedly between her baby picture and the size River was showing her brother would be. "[How do you get him out?]" 

 

River smiled softly, "[I think that's a conversation for later, my love.]" 

 

She frowned. "[But Mia and Freya say they know! Do you cut him out or something?]" 

 

"[You're not as old as Mia and Freya. Now, why don't you go grab a snack from downstairs? There's some leftover cake from the party.]" 

 

The mention of cake quickly distracted her and she jumped off the bed to go help herself to some. Arthur also made an escape, leaving his parents to their own devices. 

 

River smiled, entwining her hand with the Doctor's. "She seems to be warming up to the idea of having another Sibling." River murmured 

 

"Yes, a bit. I think knowing it's a boy is helping her think of the baby as more of a person than a threat." The Doctor agreed.  

 

She hummed, "Did you still want to see  _ her _ today?" The Doctor and River had been planning on going to see Missy today before Jack had invited them over. It would be the first time River saw her since she had been placed in the vault, which was part of the reason why she had been so on edge that morning. 

 

He nodded slowly. "There's still time to back out if you want to." 

 

"No, it's fine." River sighed, "But only because I know how much it means to you." 

 

He squeezed her hand back. "We don't have to be long." 

 

She nodded slowly, "Let's just get this over with then." 

 

They rose from the bed, quietly going to the console room. River helped pilot them to the university, the ship landing silently outside the vault. 

 

Nardole was outside the Vault, slowing the time back down for them to enter. 

 

"Are you a sure she won't do anything to hurt the baby?" River whispered. 

 

"I'm sure. She doesn't know about him. You've got the perception filter on?" 

 

River nodded, "Yes." 

 

"Well leave if there's any sign of danger." He promised. 

 

"Okay." She breathed as Nardole opened the door and they stepped inside.

 

Missy was in the center of the room at a piano, her back to them. She didn't turn right away, waiting for them to make the first move.  

 

The Doctor sat in one of the chairs, gesturing for River to sit in the other. River sat, and Missy finally decided to turn, "Oh, I see you've brought a friend today, Doctor." 

 

"Yes, well, more than a friend in my case." He said, tone level.  

 

She stared at River, almost immediately noticing then perception filter, though she didn't realize what it was, "Something's off about her? What have you done?" She questioned as she surveyed River. 

 

"How're you liking the piano?" He deflected casually. 

 

"You're hiding something from me." She huffed, running her hand down the keys so it made an eerie noise, "I'll figure it out for myself if you don't tell me."

 

River shot him a slightly concerned look. He set his jaw, knowing the Missy was clever enough to go through with that. His slight change of expression was a silent question to his wife if he should reveal their secret or not. She averted her gaze, leaving him to make the choice. 

 

"You know it's not polite to nose in on people's own business." He muttered. 

 

"I said I was turning good, not polite. Those are two different things." Missy smirked, "Now let's see, it's not the hair because that's just as frizzy as ever. It's something about the body…?" She knew she had the upper hand in this situation, she had learned how to press the Doctor's buttons, especially now that she was in the vault with nothing better to do. 

 

He stood, approaching Missy. "Are you quite done with that?" 

 

"Are you going to tell me what she's hiding?" She crossed her arms, standing from the piano. 

 

"It's not your concern." He said sternly 

 

She shrugged, "Then I guess I'm not done. So let's see, definitely the body, I'd say torso area..." 

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "Drop it, please." 

 

River came up beside him, putting a hand on his arm, "Just tell her, she's going to figure it out either way, we all know that." 

 

He put his hand over hers, "Are you sure?" 

 

"I'd rather you tell her than have her figure it out on her own." 

 

"Too late." Missy chirped. "I rather think I've got it." 

 

River swallowed, her hearts picking up, though externally she kept her cool, raising her eyebrows expectantly. 

 

"You're up the duff with his wee kiddo, aren't you?" 

 

"Well aren't you a clever girl, Missy. Someone give her a gold star." She mocked, taking off the prescription filter in confirmation. 

 

The Doctor watched them carefully, still slightly in front of River to put some distance between her and Missy. The two woman stared each other down before either of them said anything. 

 

"Well isn't that just  _ peachy _ ." Missy spat. She may have been trying to be good, but that didn't mean she had to be nice to River. 

 

The Doctor tried not to glare, "You don't have to like it. I warned you before and I’ll say it again: if any harm comes to River or my child by your hand..." 

 

She held her hands up in surrender, "Alright, Alright. I've got it, no need to get your panties in a twist." 

 

He snorted. The only child Missy didn't know about now was Terra, and he'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible. 

 

"So I guess that's why you haven't been bringing your guard dog around then? Have I been causing stress for the  _ fragile _ lady?" She mocked a swoon. 

 

"She's not fragile." He glared more. "It wouldn't be wise to underestimate her."

 

Missy scoffed, "I believe you're overestimating her. She is a  _ half-breed _ ." 

 

"What's your point?" He challenged. 

 

She shrugged, loving that she could get him angry, "Just stating a fact." 

 

"Your fact doesn't dictate my wife's capability for anything." 

 

She shrugged once more, plopping back down on the piano bench, "Have you brought me anything to eat or has the living incubator gone and eaten it all?" 

 

River was burning a hole in Missy's head with her glare. He pinched the bridge of his nose again, reaching into his pocket for a bag of stale scones. 

 

Missy held her hand out as River rubbed his arm comfortingly. He dropped the bag into her hands, taking a step back with River. "I didn't bring River with me today so you could bully her, you know." 

 

Missy rolled her eyes, "I'm not  _ bullying _ her, it's called witty banter. You know, like they do on the telly. It's not my fault she hasn't got anything good to say back." 

 

"Missy," He warned, "I brought her so you could practice apologizing to someone besides me." 

 

She glowered, "And it had to be _her_? It couldn't have been _anyone_ else?" She took a bite of one of the scones, immediately spitting it out onto the floor, "Stale scones? Really, Doctor? You've brought me your pet and _stale_ _scones_?" 

 

"Beggars can't be choosers, and yes it had to be her. She was as much affected by you as I was." 

 

She tossed the bag of scones on the floor, crossing her arms and pouting like a child. He sat back down as well, watching her expectantly.  River waited as well, arms crossed. 

 

Missy closed her eyes against the emotion that started to well up at the thought of what she'd done to the Songs. She didn't like thinking about it, and she certainly felt no reward for showing any vulnerability, especially in front of River. "I’m sorry, alright? Is that what you want to hear?" 

 

"Sorry for what?" River pressed. 

 

Missy looked like a dog who'd been told to spit out what it had eaten. "Sorry for what I did to you and your family." 

 

River's body instinctively tensed and her jaw tightened, "You  _ killed _ my child. I don't think that's something I can  _ ever _ forgive" 

 

" _ I  _ didn't kill it, that ghastly woman with the overly dramatic wardrobe did." She huffed. "I just... provided the means..." she trailed off as she realized what she was saying was no better. "Well, I'm not asking for your forgiveness am I?" 

 

"Accepting an apology typically implies forgiveness." River muttered. 

 

Missy was now the one to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Then don't bloody accept it, then!" She looked away again. "But I mean what I say." 

 

River flinched when Missy raised her voice. "I'm going outside for some air." She muttered, staring at the ground as she left the vault; needing to get away from this.  

 

The Doctor took a deep breath upon hearing the door shut. "That was unnecessary." 

 

"What was?" Missy asked innocently, examining her nails as if nothing were wrong. 

 

"I told you to apologize, not yell at her." 

 

"She's fine, I only raised my voice a wee bit. She's done much worse." Missy huffed, "Besides, you were just telling me how 'strong' she is, surely she can handle a bit of voice raising." 

 

"It's not about what she can handle, it's about the lesson I'm trying to get you to understand here." He sighed. 

 

"I do understand." She sighed, "I've been in here for a while, I bet I could do what you do.” 

 

"Well, sometime in the future you've obviously convinced me that you've changed enough for me to go back and rewire your execution device." He met her eyes. "But you're not doing a very good job of convincing me now." 

 

She huffed, crossing her arms again, "Alright fine, I'll play nice today. If you go fetch your to—...wife, I promise I'll be," she grimaced, "nice to her." 

 

He stood. "If you break your promise I'll only bring more stale scones next time." 

 

"I won't break it." She assured. 


	61. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He reached into his pocket and moved to the door as he answered without looking at the caller ID. "Doctor Disco. If you’re one of those new Uni students you can bugger off and talk to your own administration. It's summer and I'm busy."
> 
> "Dad?" Amelia's frowning voice came from the other end.
> 
> "Oh. Er... don't tell your mother you heard that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A name for Baby. Enjoy.

**Ch 61**

 

Outside the vault, River's back was to the doors and she was shaking. The Doctor exited, going to her quickly. "Hey." 

 

"Hey..." She murmured, avoiding his eyes. 

 

He moved to face her, putting his hands on her arms. "Are you alright?" 

 

"Yeah." She lied, her figure still shook beneath his touch. 

 

"No, you’re not." He said quietly, pulling her to his chest and wrapping his arms around her.  

 

She swallowed, pressing her face against his chest, "I don't want to go back in there, not today." 

 

"Are you sure?" He stroked her hair soothingly. 

 

She nodded, "It feels like right now she's just a reminder that we could lose this baby at any moment. He could be gone in a second and there is nothing we can do about it." 

 

He was quiet for a moment, his hearts sinking at the mere thoughts of losing this baby. "If you take the TARDIS, I'll get Nardole to give me a lift home." 

 

"Okay." She whispered, "Please, don't be long." 

 

"I'll do my best." He kissed her forehead. She gave him a proper kiss before leaving in the TARDIS, quite obviously upset from visiting Missy. 

 

The Doctor re-entered the Vault. Missy was tapping her fingers on the piano bench, "Well? Where is she?" 

 

"Gone home." He murmured. 

 

"Why? We were just getting started." Missy smirked. 

 

"The kids called, they need her back at the house." He excused. 

 

"Ah, duty calls. Well, tell her I didn't mean to upset her by shouting. Actually, that's a lie I  _ did _ mean to upset her but I regret it now. See? I can be nice." 

 

He said nothing for a long moment, examining the room. "Did you have a habit of killing children or was my family a special exception?" 

 

It took her a while to respond, "I've killed many people, children included. It's not like I would seek them out, they were just...there, in my way so to speak." 

 

He swallowed, letting his hearts ache for his lost children. "There's your next challenge then. I want you to think of all the parents who screamed and cried because you took their children from them... River and I included." 

 

Her jaw tightened, "Fine." 

 

He stood as he watched her, starting a slow circle around the piano. She put her head in her hands. After about 20 minutes, she looked up, tears running down her cheeks. 

 

"You can understand why River and I are on edge around you." He whispered. He was in front of her now, hands clasped and resing behind him. 

 

"Yes, I do see that now." She murmured. 

 

"You have to  _ think _ about your actions, not just after you've done them, but  _ before _ . Apparently, that's a lesson you  missed as a child." He whispered that last bit. "That said... I think perhaps you're starting to get somewhere. I'll have Nardole bring you Mexican tonight." 

 

"Alright." She nodded, just as the Doctor's phone rang. 

 

He reached into his pocket and moved to the door as he answered without looking at the caller ID. "Doctor Disco. If you’re one of those new Uni students you can bugger off and talk to your own administration. It's summer and I'm busy." 

 

"Dad?" Amelia's frowning voice came from the other end. 

 

"Oh. Er... don't tell your mother you heard that." 

 

"I won't, but can you come home? Mum's sick." She sounded upset. 

 

He frowned, already leaving the vault. "Sick how? What happened?" 

 

"She threw up. She told me she's okay, but I heard it. She didn't look good when she came home." Amelia had many scarring memories of her mother getting horribly ill while pregnant with her siblings. Though she didn't want to admit it, any sign of sickness in her mother scared her. 

 

He could hear her worry clearly. "You know how to get the TARDIS to my office, yeah? Why don't you bring it." 

 

"Okay." She sounded slightly relieved. 

 

Amelia ran to the console room, the sound of the ship soon could be heard over the phone. The Doctor told Nardole to bring Missy food later and to turn the time accelerator back on before hurrying up to his office. 

 

Amelia was waiting anxiously. He greeted her with a soft smile. "I'm sure Mum will be just fine, sweetheart." 

 

"I think she's in her office." She opened the TARDIS door for him, "Can you check on her?" 

 

"Of course. Why don't you fly us home?" 

 

She flew the ship home, having gotten rather good at it. He complimented her flying before finding River. 

 

Like Amelia said, River was in her office, looking over some papers. He knocked softly. "Amelia said you were sick." 

 

"Hmm?" She looked up at him, "Oh, I'm fine." 

 

He went over to her, protectively feeling her forehead with the back of his hand. "She said you vomited." 

 

She didn't seem to have a fever, her eyes not leaving the papers in front of her as she responded, "I did, but I'm pregnant, it happens." 

 

He removed his hand from her head, replacing it with a kiss. "Well, let me know if you'd like a ginger ale or tea or something to help. You had our daughter worried." 

 

She finally looked up at him, "Did I? I told her I was fine." 

 

"She called me." He finally sat down in a chair near to her. 

 

"I had no idea." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I was so distracted by this stupid work thing." The papers on her desk were all concerning the archeological dig she was currently running. 

 

"It's not your fault, she was just worried." He murmured, peering over at the papers on her desk. "You don't exactly have the best history with illness during pregnancy." 

 

"I know and I should have considered that." She breathed. 

 

He nodded slowly, hearing a creak outside the door. Knowingly he said in that direction, "Amelia, you can come out now." 

 

The girl crept into the room. She didn't need to ask what happened, she had been eavesdropping the whole time. 

 

He smiled softly. "Mum is just fine, you know." 

 

She nodded, "I heard." 

 

"She flew the TARDIS by herself today." He told River proudly. 

 

"Did you?" River looked at Amelia, smiling. 

 

"To get Dad," Amelia nodded, looking over her mother like she might find some sort of injury on her. 

 

"Well I really appreciate your concern, but I promise there's nothing to worry about." River tried to comfort her, "Throwing up is a normal part of being pregnant, it doesn't always mean something's wrong." 

 

"But doesn't it stop after a few months?" She fretted. 

 

"Not always." She explained. 

 

Amelia nodded, starting to relax. "Do I still have to leave the room when he's born?" 

 

"Yes, we need you to help look after Terra and Arthur." River nodded. 

 

"Can someone else do it?" Her tone was more questioning, not like a complaint. "I... I want to be there this time." 

 

"Well..." River hesitated, looking at her husband. 

 

"We'll think about it," he told her, "but we can't make any promises. We don't know exactly how things will go, so if we do need you to be with your siblings you've got to be okay with that." 

 

"Okay." She nodded.

 

"Will you let your siblings know we'll be eating dinner in an hour?" 

 

Amelia nodded again, leaving the room. 

 

He looked back at River, glancing at her desk papers once again. "You're not going on that dig soon, are you?" She'd been talking about it for at least a month and he knew the team was already fully hired. 

 

"We're supposed to start excavating the site next week. I was planning on only supervising because of this," She gestured to her belly, "But it's starting to look like I'm going to need to be more involved now." 

 

"More involved as in...?" 

 

"They're going to need me out there every day helping with the digging." 

 

He looked unsure. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" 

 

"I don't know." She murmured, "I know that I probably shouldn't, but I've been looking forward to this dig for so long." It was clear in her voice that she was frustrated. 

 

He was often just as worried as Amelia, though wouldn't admit it. The dig was reminding him uncomfortably of the Library. "I want you to bring precautions." 

 

She raised her eyebrows slightly, having thought he'd be more against her going, "You think I should go?" 

 

"You've been planning this for weeks. You shouldn't cancel it all just because you might have to get your hands dirty. You're not going to break from digging." That last part was said more as a reminder for himself than to aid his point. Logically he knew she wasn't made of glass just because she was pregnant, but irrationally he wanted to keep her away from anything with the potential to so much as scratch her. He also kept in mind the work she'd been doing for this project and the excitement she had whenever she talked to him about it. "And it's just a simple restoration anyways... Nothing too dangerous, right?" 

 

She smiled, starting to feel better, "Of course, it's nothing dangerous, just restoring the site and doing a bit more digging to see if there's anything else to uncover." 

 

"And you'll be there for," he paused to remember how long she'd said before, "two weeks?" 

 

"Two and a half." She murmured, "My complete pudding brain of an assistant messed up the paperwork." She the slight annoyance in her tone returned. 

 

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards at the insult that he so often used. "Two and a half weeks." He echoed. "I'm going to have to sneak a few visits." 

 

"You'd better. Baby and I are going to miss you." 

 

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "We really do need to think of a proper name for Baby." 

 

She smiled weakly, "Yes, we certainly do. Any ideas?" 

 

"Actually, Clara suggested one I thought might work." 

 

"Hmm?" She watched him, listening. 

 

"Felix." 

 

"That's a sweet name." She beamed. 

 

He couldn't help but smile back. "In high consideration, then?" 

 

"Yes, very high." 

 

She leaned in for a kiss. He pulled her close and they shared a proper one. She hummed against his lips, eyes fluttering shut. They were both a bit flush when they pulled away. 

 

"I should start dinner." He murmured.

 

"Stay. Please? We can order take away." 

 

"I've still got to call now if we want it to be here in an hour." He reminded and pulled his own mobile from his pocket. "What are you in the mood for?" 

 

"Hmm, Chinese? We haven't had that in a while." The children usually requested pizza for take away. 

 

"Do you think that'll bode over well with the kids?" 

 

"No... I suppose we should order pizza instead." 

 

"Tell you what, why don't you pick the toppings?" 

 

"I'm afraid if I do that then we'll be hearing a few complaints from our children." She murmured. 

 

"Well, we can order a plain one for them." He offered. 

 

She shook her head, "It's okay. You don't have to order anything special for me." 

 

"And why is that? " He challenged, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. 

 

"I'm not really in the mood for pizza. The thought of all that cheese… it's making my stomach churn." She breathed. 

 

"Do you want something else from the restaurant?" 

 

She shook her head, "I don't think Felix wants anything Italian tonight." She gave him a soft smile. 

 

He felt his hearts swell. "I think that name is going to stick." 

 

"What do you think, my love? Do you like the name Felix?" She ran her hand along her abdomen, speaking to the baby. A light, bubbly blue and a kick was the response to Rivers touch. "I think he likes it." She smiled, looking back at her husband. 

 

"It means happiness." He hummed. 

 

Her smile widened, "I love it." 

 

They stayed in her office and chatted for a while, during which the Doctor called for the food. 

 

"How did the rest of your time with Missy go?" She asked after a while. 

 

He shrugged, glancing away. "We had a talk about thinking before doing. She's starting to get it... I think." 

 

She touched his cheek to comfort him, "That's good. I'm sorry I didn't stay." 

 

He leaned to her touch. "It's alright. I don't expect that you're comfortable around her. Little steps are fine." She nodded, kissing his forehead. "I really want this, Riv." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I want to believe she can be good." 

 

"I know, darling, I know." She murmured, rubbing his arm, "But you mustn't get your hopes up. She's unpredictable and so we have to stay grounded." 

 

"That's the trouble with hope isn't it?" He scoffed at himself. "Hard to resist." 

 

She hummed, looking down at her lap. He put a hand over hers, the other placing over her belly. "I want her to be good too." River murmured, "Even though I don't like her, I want her to be good. I don't want our children to live constantly afraid. I don't want our baby to be born into a life of being afraid and on the run from her.”

 

He nodded, feeling Felix shift beneath his touch. 

 

Though Arthur and Terra didn't know anything about Missy, Amelia and Freya still had the occasional nightmare about her, their childhood experiences with the Time Lady sticking with them. 

 

"No matter what happens, I'll be here." She assured, "Felix and I will be happy to distract you whenever you need. And you know, I think he already likes you best." 

 

He smiled, meeting her eyes. "I'm glad to hear it." 

 

She smiled back, "He's the happiest when you're around. Like right now, I think his little hearts are going to explode with happiness since he knows you're here." She teased. 

 

"Are you sure you're not projecting?" He teased right back. 

 

"Are you suggesting my hearts are going to burst because you're here?" 

 

"I thought you were being poetic." He said innocently. 

 

She laughed, "I'm sure you did."

 

He kissed her and they spent a short while chatting and feeling the baby move before the food came. 


	62. Sentimental Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra looked a bit disappointed. "[I can't even help a little?]"
> 
> "[I'm afraid not, darling.]"
> 
> Terra frowned more until the Doctor added, "[How about we go on our own archeology trip with mum before she leaves?]"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 62**

 

When the food came, River got the children set up to eat. The Doctor produced a brown bag to go with the pizza boxes, offering it to River when they all sat down. 

 

"What's this?" She asked, opening the bag. 

 

"Chinese food." He waggled his eyebrows smugly. 

 

Her face broke out into a smile, "When did you order this?" 

"I texted Nardole to do it when you weren't looking."

 

"Smug old man." She said affectionately, "Thank you."  

 

He kissed her cheek. "My pleasure." 

 

The family ate their dinner, with River quite content with her special meal. The children were chatty—Arthur kept going on about how great it was going to be to have a brother and babbled on about how he and his new little brother would make a boys only club as soon as the baby was old enough. 

 

Terra didn't find this so amusing, trying to one-up his with a girls-only club. She glanced at her sisters hopefully. Amelia agreed, unable to say no to her sister's hopeful look. Freya agreed as well, though pointed out that she would get to join the boys club if she ever regenerated into a boy. 

 

"Well, I hope you're not planning on regenerating anytime soon." River murmured, not linking the idea that her children would need to go through that one day. 

 

"I'm not, obviously, but I'm just saying." Freya shrugged. 

 

"Okay." River raised her hands in surrender. 

 

"Can we name the baby Jack?" Arthur asked. 

 

River laughed, "I'm afraid not, my love. Your father doesn't want to." 

 

"But Uncle Jack is awesome." 

 

"Well, don't let your Uncle hear you say that. It'll go straight to his head." She smiled softly, looking at the Doctor. 

 

The Doctor smiled softly at her and added, "Your mother and I actually were thinking of a name today…” 

 

"What name?" Arthur asked, curious. 

 

"Felix." He said, finger spelling the name for Terra. 

 

"Where did you get that name?" He asked. 

 

"Aunt Clara suggested it and I liked it." 

 

Arthur thought it over, "Maybe Jack can be his middle name? Felix Jack?" 

 

"Well... I'm not sure. We'll think about it." He said unconvincingly. 

 

"Okay." Arthur smiled, satisfied with this. 

 

The rest of dinner went by, the adults informing the kids about River's  trip next week. Terra was the only one upset by this, not wanting River to go. The twins were quick to assure Terra that River would be fine and that she did this all the time. 

 

"[But I don't want her to go.]" She whimpered, looking desperately at her parents. 

 

"[We'll be visiting her a few times.]" The Doctor assured. This didn’t seem to make a dent in Terra’s mood. He glanced at River with a slight worry. 

 

"[Why don't you want me to go, darling?]" River asked. 

 

"[Because what if you miss something while you're away? And what if something happens to you?]" 

 

"[Nothing's going to happen to me.]" She soothed, "[And if something happens while I'm gone, then you can call and tell me all about it.]" She gave her an encouraging smile. 

 

"[But last time you were gone for more than a week we didn't see you for  _ months _ !]" She reminded. 

 

"[This trip is much shorter, I promise.]" River held her arms out to comfort the girl. Terra slunk out of her seat and climbed up on River's lap. There wasn't much room for Terra on River's lap anymore, the baby occupying most of the space. Terra herself was also getting a bit big for River's lap but tried to adjust herself anyway. 

 

Felix kicked against her weight to which Terra glared. 

 

"[He's saying hello.]" River smiled softly. 

 

"[It's not fair that he gets to go with you and I don't.]" She looked back up at River. 

 

"[Well, he can't really help it, darling.]" River frowned slightly. 

 

"[I don't want to be away from you for that long.]" She sighed. 

 

"[Well, you can come visit, just like daddy said. I'll show you around the site and you can meet some of the people I work with.]" She kissed Terra's forehead, "[And I'll call every night and you can tell me about your day.]" 

 

"[Can we visit every single day?]" She asked. 

 

"[Well, if you visit every single day then I won't be able to get any work done.]" She laughed softly. 

 

"[I can help with your work!]" She insisted. 

 

"[Not this time, this is a dig and everything we're working with is very, very delicate and it takes a lot of years of study in order to be able to work on it.]" River explained. 

 

Terra looked a bit disappointed. "[I can't even help a little?]" 

 

"[I'm afraid not, darling.]" 

 

Terra frowned more until the Doctor added. "[How about we go on our own archeology trip with mum before she leaves?]" 

 

Her eyes lit up at that suggestion, "[Okay!]" 

 

The family spent the next hour trying to decide where to go, agreeing that they would have a day trip the next day. They eventually agreed to go to a planet called Khejaphorax, a place that both River and the Doctor had been before. A series of wars and natural disasters had buried the once lively planet in a dusty plane that was now perfect for digging up old artifacts. 

 

All the children were very excited about the trip, running off to bed eventually. The Doctor and River stayed up a bit later, sitting and chatting on the couch with drinks in hand. 

 

"Khejaphorax is going to be safe, right?" River asked. 

 

"It's been lifeless since the Delvakh Wars and we'll be far enough in the future that there won't be anything left over from chemical warfare." The Doctor eased.  

 

She nodded, wincing and pressing a hand to her side. 

 

"Riv?" He frowned slightly. 

 

"Mmm?" Her eyes were shut in focus.

 

"What's wrong?" 

 

"I don't know." She breathed, her whole body rigid. 

 

"Are you in pain?" He had put his glass down by now. 

 

"Just a bit." She understated. 

 

"I don't want to take any risks River. We're going to the med bay." He stood. 

 

She didn’t argue, "Okay, I need help getting up." 

 

He offered a hand. She stood with his help, walking with him to the TARDIS. She was obviously in pain, leaning on her husband more heavily than she’d admit. He kept his arm around her waist, trying not to let on how worried he was. No doubt that he felt something like Amelia had earlier, though probably worse. 

 

Slowly, they made it to the medbay, the Doctor having River sit down immediately. Her hands were shaking as she sat down, closing her eyes again. The Doctor rushed to get out the scanner, holding River's hand as he programmed it. She squeezed his hand tightly. 

 

It felt like ages before the results beeped in, though, in reality, it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. The Doctor read them hurriedly. 

 

"What is it?" She asked quietly, unable to imagine any answer that meant harm to Felix. 

 

"Your round ligament is inflamed." He put the screen flat and a holographic image of River rose up. He focused the image in to show her one of the ligaments that were connecting her uterus to her pubic bone. "There's some scar tissue there from when Rasil— ...from your past injuries. The stretch of the pregnancy is causing some edema... swelling." He corrected to a simpler term after a moment. 

 

She tensed at the mention of her past injuries, "Is it terribly serious or can we fix it now?" She’d been aching for a few days, but it was now that the pain was getting sharper.

 

"Em, it's not exactly serious, but it's not really the most fixable. There's not much of a risk posed to the baby, it's not going to harm him, but it may—probably will become more, er, uncomfortable as he grows." He explained. 

 

She raised an eyebrow, "And you're sure there isn't anything we can really do?" 

 

"Removing scar tissue isn't a safe option until after the baby's born and I can't promise that any painkillers we have will be effective." 

 

River let out a groan of frustration, putting her head in her hands. He tried to think, hating that he couldn't offer any useful ideas. Though his worry about Felix had subsided, he didn't want his wife to be in incurable pain for the next three months. (Not to mention that this was going to make labour agony to bear.) 

 

"I'm not going to be able to go on my dig now." She sighed, "There's no way I'm going to be able to crouch down for hours on end with  _ this _ ." 

 

"Maybe I can figure something out before you've got to leave." He assured. 

 

She nodded unconvincingly, looking at the floor and feeling a bit stupid for not saying anything earlier. It was just plain unfair that  _ another _ thing was going wrong.

 

He squeezed her hand. "Is there anything I can do for you right now?" 

 

"I'm okay." She sighed, "Just...disappointed." 

 

He nodded his understanding. "I wish there was more I could do." 

 

"It's not your fault." She breathed, wincing as Felix shifted. 

 

"If I find something to help, would you go through with your trip?" 

 

"Of course, but you only have a week." 

 

"I also have a time machine." He tapped her nose, trying to be hopeful. "And I'm brilliant."

She smiled softly, teasing, "Ah, yes. How could I forget how brilliant you are?" 

 

"Must've slipped your mind." He pressed a kiss to her temple. 

 

"Must've." She squeezed his hand, "I've thought of something you could do for me." 

 

"Hm?" He was eager to help, if not by solution than by distraction. 

 

"It's a few things, actually. First, I think I could use a few kisses from my brilliant husband." 

 

His expression softened and he smiled, leaning forwards. He kissed chastely her forehead, then her jaw, then the bridge of her nose. He kissed a few more locations before finally reaching her mouth. She smiled against his lips, quite pleased and pleasantly distracted from her disappointment. He lingered there for a while, cupping her face when he finally pulled back. 

 

"That was nice." She murmured, momentarily forgetting about her other requests. 

 

He placed one more kiss on the tip of her nose. "I don't want you to forget how much I adore you." 

 

"That's very sweet, you sentimental old man." She beamed. 

 

"And you love it." He hummed. 

 

"Yes, I certainly do." 

 

"Quite evident, darling." He put his hand gently over her middle. 

 

"Yes, I do suppose this makes it quite obvious." She put her hand over his. 

 

"And worth every second." He whispered. 

 

She leaned forward, touching her forehead to his. 

 

"I think you're right." He said, his thumb tracing absentmindedly over her skin. 

 

"Right about what?" 

 

"I am rather sentimental, aren't I." It wasn't really a question. 

 

"Yes, you're a sentimental idiot, but you're  _ my _ sentimental idiot." She kissed his forehead. 

 

"Always." He felt warmth everywhere they touched. "What were the other things you wanted?" 

 

"Well, one of them some pickle juice? I can't get it off my mind." 

 

He couldn't help but laugh, not at the request but at the timing of it. "Alright, wife. Meet me in the bedroom?" 

 

"Okay." She smiled, giving him one last peck on the cheek. 

 

When River arrived in the house bedroom, she found the dog curled up on the bed. Toby had been showing his age more and more over the past few months. By saint bernard standards, the dog was ancient. He didn't go out much anymore, mostly just sitting in the backyard. Stairs had also become a challenge for him so he often stayed on the ground floor of the house. 

 

"What are you doing in here?" She murmured, sitting on the bed beside him, stroking his head. 

 

The dog looked tiredly up at her, moving his head to rest on her leg. This bedroom was on the next floor up, so Toby must've had a motivation to come up here. 

 

"That's a lot of stairs for you." She murmured, stroking back his fur, frowning. He pushed his nose against her middle. "Are you saying hello to Felix?" She smiled softly, "He's very excited to meet you." 

 

Toby licked his nose and made a noise like a whine, though it wasn't out of any distress. 

 

"I'm going to need your help with Terra. As I'm sure she's told you she's not very pleased with getting a little brother, so perhaps we can change her mind, hmm?" She continued to speak. He blinked at her, shifting his head slightly. 

 

The Doctor returned to River shortly, also surprised to see the dog all the way upstairs. 

 

"I found him on the bed." River murmured. 

 

"He must've missed you." He handed River her glass. 

 

"Why would he miss me? I've been here almost daily." 

 

"The same reasons I miss you at work even though I know we'll see each other that night." He hummed. 

 

She smiled weakly, "Well, I'm here. Are you satisfied?" She asked the dog. 

 

Toby licked his nose again, closing his eyes. 

 

River smiled up at her husband and he smiled back, "He's getting old." 

 

"Yes, I know." He sat down next River, giving the dog a pat. "He had a good run, though." 

 

"Yes, he has. He's been wonderful." 

 

He glanced between them, not really wanting to think about the dog being on his last leg. "Is that pickle juice to your liking?" 

 

She took a sip, humming, "It's fantastic." 

 

"Good. I've left the pickles in another jar." 

 

"There you go again, being brilliant." She teased. 

 

He turned to the drawers, picking out some pajamas. "Anything else while I'm at it?" 

 

"There was one more thing. I was hoping you could take me to my dig site tomorrow so I can do a bit of paperwork?" 

 

"Before or after we take the kids to Khejaphorax?" 

 

"Before. It should only take about a half hour, we can go before they get up." 

 

He agreed, starting to change. River got up once she finished her juice, getting changed as well. They settled into bed, Toby slowly moving to the floor. River rested her head against the Doctor's chest, closing her eyes for sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question for you, dear readers!
> 
> I'm thinking of making an illustrated part of this. Not the whole thing, of course, but just bits and scenes from any part of this series that I (or you guys!) think would look cool in a visual art form. Thoughts? Would you keep up with it if I started it? 
> 
> If it helps, you can judge my current art style on deviantart: hsteinman.


	63. Little Ms. Archeologist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's okay. Nothing happened. And I'm sure, after the show you gave them today, nothing's going to happen." She tried to tease, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
> 
> He smiled weakly. "Sorry for making a scene."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 63**

 

Toby was gone from the bed in the morning. 

 

The Doctor woke early like he'd promised his wife. River was already awake, making tea in the kitchen. The Doctor wandered down to her. "Morning." 

 

"Morning." She hummed, "How did you sleep?" 

 

"Well." He came up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder. "And you?" 

 

"Okay. I kept waking up because  _ your _ son wouldn't stop moving." 

 

He snaked his hands around her, resting them on her abdomen. "How naughty of him." She hummed, leaning back against him. "I think he gets that from you." He teased. 

 

She laughed weakly, "You think?" 

 

He hummed an affirmation, kissing the corner of her jaw. "Can I make you breakfast?" 

 

"Of course." She smiled, "Need help?" 

 

He shook his head. "I've got it. You sit." 

 

"Yes, sir." She moved to sit down, putting her feet up on the chair opposite her. 

 

He sat down with her once breakfast was made, the two of them keeping quiet so they wouldn't wake the kids. 

 

After breakfast, they got dressed and headed into the TARDIS. The Doctor set up the sound detecting bracelets in case he children woke up. He wore one and left the other with Toby. 

 

River input the coordinates, sending them to her dig site. When they arrived, the site was already buzzing with activity. Archeologists were running around left and right, trying to get things in order for the upcoming excavation. 

 

The Doctor instinctively reached for River's hand. "This all seems... stressful." "

 

It is." She murmured, squeezing his hand and leading him to a red tent. He watched their surroundings tentatively as he followed. 

 

As they entered the tent, one of the workers practically pounced on them. The Doctor tensed until he realized the person was only going on about a ridiculous amount of administrative crisis. River went into professional mode, leaving the Doctor's side to find a solution to the crisis. (He found a place off to the side to stand so he wouldn't get in the way.)

 

The next hour was a flurry of activity. People surrounded River, trying to get last minute permits and plans approved. It was certainly a chance for the Doctor to see what the next few weeks of River's life were going to be like if she got to go through with the excavation. 

 

While he could see that a River looked plenty in her element, he felt the urge to try to keep everyone at an arm's distance from her at least. He wasn't sure if he was just feeling overprotective or not, but the business of the scene worried him. 

 

If the last hour hadn't put him enough on edge, the next one was certainly going to be a test. Once the paperwork was done, River needed to give final approval of all the tools they would be using. This meant dozens of people waving sharp and pointed objects near her. 

 

The Doctor made a point of standing next to River for this bit, having been much too restless off to the side. He tensed every time a tool came so much at within five feet of River. 

 

There was one instance, where one of the overeager interns brought one of the shiny new spades got a bit too close to her while she was looking the other way. The Doctor's instincts worked long before he was actively thinking about his actions. He stepped in front of River glaring at the intern dangerously as he grabbed the wrist holding the trowel. "Back. Up. Now." 

 

The room fell silent, everyone turning to stare at him. 

 

The intern squeaked, "I just need...Professor Song needs to approve..." She trailed off. 

 

"Approve the sharp spade you're waving about so close to her unborn child?" His tone was threatening but his brain was starting to catch up with the rest of him, his gripping loosening. 

 

"I'm sorry." She whimpered, "I was just trying to get her attention." 

 

"It doesn't matter what you were doing if it had done damage." He hissed, taking his hands back to himself. 

 

"Okay, that's enough. I think you've scared her enough." River murmured, putting her hand on her husband's arm. He glanced back at her, deflating slightly at the full realization of the situation. He took a step back from the intern, squaring his jaw. 

 

"I think we should wrap this for the day. Just send a 3D scan of all the instruments pending approval to me and I'll finish them that way." She kept rubbing the Doctor's arm, feeling as though he needed to be calmed down. 

 

Everyone in the room was too shocked to do anything but nod, the intern hurrying out of the room very quickly. 

 

"We should go." She murmured. 

 

He nodded silently, eyes mostly on the floor now. She lead him back to the TARDIS, the walk silent. They left the sight, going back to the flat. 

 

"Are you okay?" River asked quietly. 

 

He still had his hands on the controls. "Just... worried." 

 

"About?" She watched him carefully. 

 

"You. Getting hurt." 

 

"I'm going to be fine." She breathed, wrapping her arms around him tightly in an effort to comfort him. 

 

He leaned into her warmth. "I know that, or at least part of me does." Almost all the excavations she'd had since the Library had him on edge. "But I worry. All it takes is one moment of defocus for something to happen." 

 

"Like today." She nodded, understanding his concern. 

 

"She was just waving that thing around it could've..." he trailed off, his mind conjuring up horrible images of the 'what if'. 

 

"It's okay. Nothing happened. And I'm sure, after the show you gave them today, nothing's going to happen." She tried to tease, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

 

He smiled weakly. "Sorry for making a scene." 

 

"It's alright. No one's going to even dare come within five feet of me now because they know I've got a guard dog waiting at home." She smiled. 

 

The Doctor turned in her arms to face her, leaning down to give her a proper kiss. She hummed against his lips, cupping his face. 

 

The bracelet on his wrist started glowing and he pulled away. "Kids are up." 

 

"Alright, let's go then." She murmured, taking his hand. 

 

They'd parked in their bedroom, walking in as the door to the hall creaked open. Toby plodded in with Terra trailing behind him. 

 

"[Good morning, my love.]" River smiled. 

 

Terra looked tired but excited. She navigated around Toby to hug her mum. "[Are we going yet?]" 

 

"[Not yet. We have to wait for your siblings to get up.]" 

 

"[But then after?]" 

 

"[After everyone is awake and dressed, we'll go.]" 

 

Terra grinned, running off to get dressed. River smiled weakly, sitting down on the bed, a hand pressed to her side. 

 

"How's the pain?" The Doctor asked. 

 

"Not so great." She murmured. 

 

"We could try something for if you want." He offered, though they both knew medicine probably wouldn't work very well. 

 

"It's fine, I'll deal with it." She murmured. 

 

"I've been thinking about more permanent solutions. There might be a device I can modify for you and I can pick it up after we take the kids out." He thought aloud. 

 

"Okay, that'd be good." She nodded, sucking in a sharp breath. 

 

"Why don't you sit for a while. I'll get the kids ready." 

 

"Can you stay? Just for a minute?" 

 

He nodded without hesitation, sitting down on the bed next to her. She took his hand, squeezing it tightly. He squeezed back, bringing her hand up to kiss the back of her palm. 

 

She smiled softly, "Thank you." 

 

"For what?" He asked softly. 

 

"Everything. You've been so...wonderful recently." 

 

He smiled. "Well you've been doing a lot of work. It's the least I could do. Maybe I should've came back as a woman so I could do it for you." He teased. 

 

She laughed softly, "Maybe next time, sweetie." 

 

"I'll keep that in mind," he kissed her temple. 

 

"I could use a nap." She murmured, closing her eyes and resting her head against his shoulder. 

 

"Be my guest." He hummed. She smiled, kissing his shoulder. "Lay down." He whispered. 

 

"Okay..." She murmured, laying back on the bed. He moved her feet into his lap and started to knead them. 

 

"That feels  _ so _ good." She moaned. 

 

He shivered at the noises she made. "Does it?"

 

She hummed, looking down at him, "Getting a bit excited, Mr. Song?" 

 

"You can hardly blame me." He glanced up at her. 

 

"Well, are you going to do something about it? Or are you just going to sit there?" 

 

She smirked. "The kids are going to be a \\\awake soon..." he reminded. 

 

Her smile faded, "Right...Silly me." 

 

"Raincheck?" He looked hopefully at her.  

 

"Sure." She nodded.

 

"I'll make it worth the wait." He offered a smile as Terra came back in the room. 

 

"[Can we go  _ now _ ?]" Terra asked, she had on all her gear, her mini trowel in hand. 

 

The Doctor looked over at her, smiling brighter at how much she looked like a tiny River Song. "[Not quite. I don't think your siblings are even awake yet. How about I cook you breakfast, hm?]"  

 

"[Can we have chocolate chip pancakes?]" She asked. 

 

"[Sure.]" He agreed. It would give River enough time to nap and the other children time to properly wake up. She took his hand and pulled him to the kitchen, hopping down the hallway. 

 

The Doctor let Terra help with making the food, as she often did when it came to anything that required mixing. In between mixing, Terra was signing a mile a minute, excited about their trip. The Doctor had a bit of trouble managing between watching the food cook and watching his daughter talk. Luckily, Arthur came downstairs and took over the conversation with Terra. 

 

"[Can I go wake up Mummy?]" Terra asked once the pancakes were done. 

 

"[I think we should let her nap just a little longer, but if you want to wake up your sisters, that would be fine.]" 

 

She nodded, running off to wake her older sisters. Both twins rolled out of bed with minimal complaint, plodding into the kitchen to eat. 

 

The family ate breakfast together, a sleepy River coming to join them about halfway through. Terra insisted River sit next to her, still buzzing away. River sat beside her daughter, smiling at her trowel, which now rested on the table. 

 

The Doctor, sat on her other side, took her hand sunder who table. "How was your nap?" 

 

"It was nice." She squeezed his hand. 

 

"How long are we going to be out today?" Freya asked. 

 

"A few hours. We'll be back a little while after lunch." River answered. 

 

"Can I see Ren today? Amelia said she's having a thing tonight." 

 

"Sure." River nodded, "What ‘thing’ does Amelia have?" 

 

"Fred wants me to DM a D&D campaign at his house," said Amelia. "But Freya and him are fighting so she can't come." 

 

"Ah, I see. I suppose that only leaves Terra with us this afternoon." River glanced at her husband. 

 

Terra looked pleased at this. "[I want to make cookies.]" 

 

"[Cookies? You don't want to go visit a friend as well?]" 

 

She shrugged. "[Well... maybe, but I want to bake cookies first. Can we go now?]" She asked. 

 

"[Yes, we can. Are you all ready?]" The other children nodded.  

 

Terra practically ran to the TARDIS, though had to run back to the table because she forgot her trowel. The rest of the family followed at a more calmed pace, though Terra's excitement was starting to rub off on her siblings. 

 

"[Mummy's taking too long.]" Terra frowned, waiting in the TARDIS with her other siblings.  

 

"[She walks a little slower because of the baby.]" Arthur pointed out. “[Imagining filling up your knapsack with bricks or something and wearing it on your front all day every day.]" 

 

The Doctor and River arrived, the former spotting his daughter's irritated expression. "[What's wrong my little star?]" 

 

"[You and Mummy are too slow.]" 

 

"[Well we're here now.]" He moved to the controls.  

 

They flew off to Khejaphorax, the other kids going to the back to get their own tools.   River sat in the jump seat, trying to calm the wiggling baby.  

 

"Someone as excited as his sister?" The Doctor teased as they waited for the other kids to get their things. 

 

"It would seem so." She murmured. 

 

"[You're not tired already, are you?]" Terra fretted. 

 

"[Well, it's hard not to be tired when you're making a baby, but I promise we're still going out.]" 

 

She looked skeptically at her mother's rounded middle. "[When is he coming out?]" 

 

"[Four more months.]" 

 

"[How bigger are you going to be?]" 

 

"[We can't know for sure, it depends on how big he's going to grow.]" 

 

"[How big are babies?]" 

 

"[Usually, they're about this big when they're born.]" River showed her with her hands. 

 

"[That's kinda small.]" Terra put her own hands out to that length, testing out the size. 

 

"[Yes, you're right.]" 

 

"[But then why does it take so long for them to grow that big?]" She frowned. 

 

"[Because every single cell has to be made, and cells are extremely tiny. You'd have to use a microscope to see one.]" 

 

"[How many cells does it gotta have?]" She quizzed. 

 

"[Ohh, at least 30 trillion?]” 

 

"[Probably more.]" The Doctor added. 

 

Terra's eyes looked huge, "[That's so many!]" 

 

He nodded. "[Thats why Mummy can get tired quickly now a days. She has to make every single one of those cells from scratch.]" 

 

Terra was a bit more understanding now, going and hugging her mother's legs. Felix shifted next to her head, prodding curiously in her direction. 

 

"[Hey!]" Terra pulled back, "[He's hitting me!]" 

 

"[No, he's just saying hello.]" The Doctor kneeled next to her. 

 

"[It feels funny.]" 

 

"[Why don't you say hello back?]" 

 

"[How? He can't see me sign.]" 

 

"[He can feel you touch Mummy's belly. He doesn't have any language yet, so he only knows how to communicate through touch.]" He explained. 

 

Terra reached out and poked where Felix had been resting, pulling back right away. The three watched as Felix prodded out again, the bump of his hand (or foot) just visible under River's shirt. 

 

"[Can you feel that?]" Terra asked. 

 

River nodded, "[Do you want to feel?]" 

 

She hesitated. "[Will you do it with me?]" 

 

"[Of course.]" She smiled encouragingly. 

 

Terra let River guide her hand back to where Felix was moving. Felix pushed against their hands, excited at the new person. Terra flinched, looking up at River. 

 

"It's okay." She mouthed to her, though she released her hand so she would have the option to pull away. 

 

Felix sent a few confused thoughts to River, not sure who's hand this was.  River sent him back a memory of Terra, trying to explain that it was his sister.  He seemed to relax emotionally, though got physically more excited and tried to find Terra's hand again. 

 

"[Press right here.]" River told her daughter, "[He likes you and he wants to feel you again.]" 

 

"[How do you know?]" 

 

"[We have a telepathic connection, so I know what he's feeling.]" 

 

"[Why don't I have that?]" She frowned. 

 

"[Because only mummies and new babies share it.]" She explained, "[Your father doesn't have it either.]" 

 

"[You had it when you were still a baby in Mummy's belly.]" The Doctor added. "[But it goes away after you're born. He won't have it forever.]" 

 

"[Oh...Why not?]" 

 

"[That's just how it works. The connection fades after he's born, and any future telepathic bonds have to be conscientiously built.]" 

 

"[Built? Like, you can make them?]" 

 

"[Yes, so to speak. Mummy and I have one that we worked on making together.]"  

 

"[Can I make one with you too?]" She asked.  

 

He nodded. "[Yes, but it takes a while, so not at the moment.]" 

 

The other children came back, dressed like little archeologists. Terra had apparently inspired a movement of such wear.  

 

"You all look wonderful." River beamed.  

 

Terra grew thrilled again at the sight of her siblings. "[Let's go!]" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is... anyone still reading this?


	64. Same Rules, New Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nardole?" The Doctor said hesitantly, already having an idea of who exactly was on the other side of the door based on the bit of conversation he could hear.
> 
> "Erm...yes?" The man answered, sounding nervous.
> 
> "If who I think is with is with you, then you'd better have a bloody good explanation." He threatened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supper long update today. I just felt like there wasn't a good place to cut off, so... yeah. Enjoy.

**Ch 64**

 

Khejaphorax  was a desert scape of a planet with grey, sandy soil that once held civilizations. 

 

The Doctor brought out a few fold-out chairs for the family to settle down with and River helped the kids pick the right spot where they could start their mini-excavation. 

 

River knelt in the sand with Terra, getting right to showing her everything they needed to know about excavating. Lesson one was how to gently move back sand without damaging any possible artifacts. Arthur sat in on the lesson while the twins went right for the big shovels. 

 

River watched proudly as Terra grinned, practicing the skills her mother showed her. "Do you need a lesson too?" She asked her husband. 

 

He smiled, "I wouldn't mind a refresher." 

 

“I do have to warn you: I give kisses instead of As." 

 

"I'd better keep top marks, then." 

 

"You'd better." She winked.

 

"You've gone all strict, Professor. Not that I mind..." 

 

"Just wait until tonight. I've got a pair of handcuffs that need breaking in." 

 

"Such thrilling promises, Mrs Doctor." Their voices were low now. 

 

River took his face and gave him a thorough snog. "There'll be a lot more of that later tonight," she purred once they pulled apart.  

 

"I'll hold you to that," he promised. 

 

"I do hope you mean that literally." 

 

"[Mummy look!]" Terra interrupted with a wave of her arms and proudly held up a piece of pottery about the size of her thumb. 

 

"[Oh, that's wonderful!]" River easily moved flirting to the back burner as she got down to examine the piece, telling Terra about how old it was and what it was probably used for. 

 

"[Is there more of it?]" What Terra held was only a piece of the object. 

 

"[Yes, there's probably more, you just have to keep digging.]" 

 

The girl jumped right back into her work, looking very focused. 

 

River glanced at the other children’s going-ons. Arthur, who was near Terra, had found a piece of the same pottery. The twins had found something large and metal, and were digging to see how big it was. 

 

"I think we've got quite the archeologists on our hands." River murmured to the Doctor.

 

The Doctor hummed in agreement. "You've been rubbing off on them." 

 

"And how do you feel about archeology now? Do you have a higher respect for what I do?"  

 

"It's the  _ you  _ part of what you do that catches my attention. I still think it would've been just as lovely to visit here when there were people." 

 

She smiled, "Well, perhaps we can go on that adventure another day." 

 

"You know that device I was telling you about is coincidentally from the golden age of this planet." He pointed out. 

 

"Is that so?" 

 

He nodded. "I was going to stop by today anyway to get it." 

 

"I hope it works." 

 

"Me, too," he hummed, watching Terra proudly pull up more pieces of her ceramic discovery. 

 

"I need to sit for a minute." River murmured. He offered her a hand up and helped her over to the folding chairs he'd set up. 

 

The children were quite content to spend the next few hours digging up artifacts. They ran over to River whenever they found anything, hoping it was something important. 

 

Terra just about completed her object— a sculpture of one of the creatures that used to live on the planet. She enlisted the Doctor for adhesive to stick the pieces together and River for information about her find. River informed her that it was probably once a toy for a child. The people of this planet commonly gave their children miniature sculptures as toys to teach them values of care and gentleness. 

 

"[Can I keep it?]" She asked hopefully. 

 

River nodded. In the eyes of archeology, the object was so common that museums already had dozens of them. 

 

After a bit of excited jumping from their youngest, the Songs herded the kids back to the ship. 

 

Arthur had dug up a shield and the twins had managed to salvage a whole set of masks. The children all were allowed to keep their finds. After putting them in their rooms, they each went to wash up so they could get ready for their respective planned activities. Terra decided that she wanted to go visit Bill and show her the sculpture she had found.

 

“[Can you call?]" Terra asked her father as her siblings got dropped off, pointing to the console phone. 

 

He nodded, dialing Bill. 

 

"Hello?" Bill picked up on the other end. 

 

"Bill. It's me," the Doctor said, "I need a favour." 

 

"Are you bumping up my assignment again?" 

 

"No, just wondering if you wouldn't mind a watching Terra for a bit. River  and I have some errands to run and Terra wants to show you what she found on her archeology dig." He explained.  

 

"Oh, no I don't mind!" She smiled. 

 

"Ah, good, because I'm already parked in your kitchen." 

 

"Wha-?" The sound of her running down the stairs could be heard through the phone. 

 

"[She said yes.]" The Doctor smiled at his daughter, putting the phone down.  

 

Terra ran out of the ship to meet Bill and the Doctor poked his head out to make sure the two were situated. Satisfied, the Doctor offered Bill a smile and returned to the console. 

 

He popped by the planet they were just at to pick up the device before parking back in the flat. As River was napping in the TARDIS bedroom, he decided to take the time to work on the device at the desk in the room. It was a small, circular disk with sharp insertion mechanisms on one face. A few coated wires came off the edge, each one ending in a tiny, square-shaped part that also had insertion mechanisms. 

 

The cats came to keep him company, sitting on near his feet. He worked for a good few hours, taking apart the covers on the electric parts beginning to require them. He allowed the cats to wander as they pleased, occasionally talking out loud to them.  

 

River was still sleeping when he was finished, Tiber nestled next to her. The Doctor eventually got up, stretched, and settled next to his sleeping wife in bed. He wasn't exactly tired, but the proximity was welcomed. 

 

"Honey..." she mumbled sleepily, feeling his weight beside her. 

 

"Hmm?" He answered wrapping his arms around her. 

 

"Hi..." She breathed, rolling over to face him. 

 

He smiled. "Nice nap?" 

 

"Mm, very nice." 

 

"You slept through lunch. Are you hungry?" He asked. 

 

"Not terribly." She nuzzled his neck, "Where's Terra?" 

 

"Bill's watching her." He smiled at her way her hair tickled his nose. 

 

"So we're alone?" 

 

"Yes, we are. Unless you count these guys." He gestured to Tiber who slept on her other side. 

 

"And this guy." She tapped her belly, "But he seems to be sleeping right now." 

 

"How opportunistic." He hummed, leaning forward just enough to kiss the shell of her ear. She hummed, closing her eyes again. 

 

He pressed kisses to her jaw and just behind her ear, letting his lips wander. She beamed, "This is nice." 

 

"I'm glad." His tone was calm and relaxed.  

 

Suddenly there was a bang outside their door so loud that it startled River out of bed and onto her feet. The Doctor got up as well, "What was that?" 

 

"I don't know." She breathed, as there was a knock on the door. 

 

"Gun. Now." He whispered. There shouldn't have been anyone in the house let alone then TARDIS. All of their friends knew to call ahead. 

 

River grabbed her gun off the dresser, getting ready to shoot. 

 

"Oi! I told you to keep your hands up. He's already going to be angry at me for letting you out, I don't need you to break anything on top of that." Nardole's voice came from outside the door. It was apparent that he was talking to someone. 

 

"Nardole?" The Doctor said hesitantly, already having an idea of who exactly was on the other side of the door based on the bit of conversation he could hear. 

 

"Erm...yes?" The man answered, sounding nervous. 

 

"If who I think is with is with you, then you'd better have a bloody good explanation." He threatened 

 

"It's not my fault! I couldn't get in contact with you. The perception filter under the school was malfunctioning and I needed help." 

 

Starting to fume, the Doctor opened the door and glared as he came face to face with Missy. 

 

"Hello, I hope we're interrupting something." Missy smiled, her hands still up in the air. Nardole was behind her with a pointy looking stick, though was looking less and less confident now that the Doctor was in front of him. 

 

"Why did you bring her here?" He shifted his gaze to Nardole. 

 

"The vault door wouldn’t close right after I brought her food." 

 

He sighed. "Just...give us a moment. Wait in the console room and don't let Missy touch anything." 

 

Nardole nodded, ushering Missy back to the console room. The Doctor closed the door, turning back to River. 

 

River's jaw was tight, her whole body rigid. 

 

"I'll deal with her if you don't want to." He offered

"No, it's fine." She muttered. 

They took their time going to the console room, the Doctor steeling himself for whatever excuses the others might make. River was particularly cross about the interruption.

Nardole looked increasingly guilty as the Timelords entered. 

Missy looked poised, hands clasped patiently in front of her. "So, what are you going to do with me now? I can't go back into the vault." 

"You think I can't fix it?" The Doctor challenged. 

"Nope." 

He raised an eyebrow. "How exactly did it break?" 

Missy shrugged. "Nardole?" 

"I-I don't know." 

The Doctor muttered irritably under his breath, starting to pull levers. River still had her blaster in hand watching.

"Nardole, Missy, with me. You're going to explain this." He growled, landing and heading out the door. Missy sauntered out, quite confident. 

The Doctor looked over the massive lock on the vault, frowning. 

"Can you tell what's wrong?" River asked. 

" _ Nardole _ ." He hissed. "He forgot to turn off the time accelerator before he opened it. Every damn fuse in here is blown." 

The other man wrung his hands, "I-I was in a rush." 

"That is the most pathetic thing you've said all day." He glared. 

"Doctor, stop it." River hissed."It as a mistake and speaking to him like that doesn't make it any better." 

His shoulders slumped and he shut his mouth. He took a breath. "Yes... sorry. I'm just not sure what we're going to do with her now—it's going to take me a while to fix this if I can at all." 

"You could lock me in the TARDIS," Missy suggested. "You could put me in a room. Like my own flat, but without as much freedom. I'm sure the TARDIS can do something like that for you." 

He tensed. While it was the only logical place that was also capable of speeding up time in isolated areas, he and his family used the TARDIS constantly, and he didn't want the kids to know about her. He turned fully to her. " _ You're _ making suggestions for  _ your own _ imprisonment?" 

"Well, the rest of you don't seem to have any ideas. I think I'm being rather reasonable, don't you?" She put her hands on her hips. 

He didn't want to admit that she was, giving a huff instead. "I suppose it's our only option..." 

"I'll go back inside then." Missy smiled. 

"Supervised." The Doctor emphasized, fully intending on following. 

"It'll be like we're flatmates." She went on, knowing that would bother him. 

"Don't push it." He grumbled. 

Inside the console room, the Doctor was even more on edge. "Missy, put your hands in the telepathic circuits." She walked over to the controls, putting her hands in the circuits as she was told. "I'm scanning your bio-signature. You'll be locked out of the controls, so don't think about trying to go anywhere you shouldn't." 

"Fine. If that's what you think is going to keep you safe." She huffed. 

River and Nardole entered the console room, staying near the door. "Nardole, show Missy to her new room." The Doctor told him. 

Nardole nodded, ushering the Time Lady out of the console room. He avoided the Doctor's eyes, still quite afraid he'd be shouted at. 

The Doctor scrubbed a hand down his face as they left. "I'm sorry you have to deal with this, River." She didn't speak, glaring a hole through the floor. He moved to her, stepping in front of her view. "Riv?" 

"What?" She finally looked at him. 

He opened his mouth to respond but his mobile rang before anything came out. Sighing, he picked up. River crossed her arms, looking away again. 

He spoke for only a minute before hanging up. "Arthur's been sick, we need to pick him up." 

She brushed past him, silently going to the controls. 

"River, are you angry with me for keeping her in here?" He asked as they flew. 

"I'm angry with you for a number of reasons, and yes, that is one of them." She breathed, "But I guess there's not much we can do about it." 

He swallowed. "Well, perhaps, but I'd still like to try." 

"What are you going to do?" She whispered, "You said she wouldn't find out about the baby, which she did, almost immediately. You also said she wouldn't be near us and now she's living in  _ our home _ . What's next? The kids?" 

"I..." he hesitated, the weight of her words settling in. "I don't know." 

"I'm going to cancel my trip." She murmured. 

He frowned. "Why?" 

"I don't feel comfortable leaving now that she's so close to the children." 

He nodded slowly, guilt settling in his stomach. She could, of course, always save the trip for any time in the future—they had a time machine after all— but there was something about ruining her linear plan that felt like his fault and he wasn't quite sure how he could begin to make up for it. 

"We should get Arthur." She sighed, going to the door. He silently followed. 

Arthur was waiting on the porch of his friend's house. The adults made brief conversation before ushering the boy off. 

"How about you take a warm shower before you head off to bed." River suggested as they entered back into the TARDIS. 

"It's not my bedtime." Arthur protested with little energy. 

"I know, my love, but you're sick. You need to rest." 

He frowned. "When's everyone else getting home?" 

"Probably not for a while." 

He sighed, "Okay, I'll go to bed... but can I have some toast?"

"Of course." River nodded. Arthur seemed satisfied, going off to shower. 

River leaned against the console, closing her eyes. 

"Do you want me to make his food?" The Doctor asked. 

"I can do it." She shook her head, "I just need a minute." 

"Alone?"

"To sit." She corrected. 

He nodded, pressing a few button on the monitor. An image of Missy's new arrangements flickered to view, the screen turned away from River. He wanted to check quickly to make sure nothing was going wrong. Missy's new room seemed to look about the same as the inside of the vault. The walls and floors were bare. There was a piano, a bookshelf, and a couple chairs. He spotted Missy pacing. She looked like she was in fast forward, the time in that room sped up like it had been in the vault.  

"I'll go make Arthur's food." River murmured, moving to leave the room. 

He took his eyes off the screen to watch her go. "I'll meet you in the room...?" 

"Okay." She nodded, before going to the kitchen. 

Arthur came to the kitchen with wet hair after a while, eating small bites of the toast. 

"How are you feeling?" River asked, sitting next to him. 

He shrugged. "Kinda bad." 

"I'm sorry to hear that." She murmured, "What's bothering you?" 

"My stomach." He mumbled. 

"Well, eat your toast and then I want you to try and get some sleep." She instructed. 

"Can we go back to the house to sleep?" He asked. 

"Of course." River nodded, "I'm going to go to the console room to bring us home, okay? Come meet me there when you're done." She got up, giving him a kiss on the top of his head. 

River went right to the console, setting the coordinates for them to go back to their house. Nardole came back to the control room as well, only making eye contact with the floor and neither Song. 

"You need to apologize to Nardole." River murmured, to her husband. 

It took the Doctor a minute to get the words going. "Sorry for snapping, Nardole." 

"Oh....erm... it's okay." He said, hardly looking up. 

"It's not okay." The Doctor moved towards him. "I put you in a difficult situation and blamed you when it went wrong." 

Nardole nodded, scooting slightly away. 

He sighed. "We'll drop you back home. You don't have to do any more odd jobs for me anytime soon." 

"Okay. Thank you." The man nodded again. 

Arthur plodded into the control room, coming up next to River. "When did Nardole get here?"

"He's was here before you came home." River murmured, "He was just helping your father with something, but he's going home now." 

"What was he helping with?" Arthur looked between the adults. 

"Lifting some heavy things," Nardole added quickly, trying to be helpful. Arthur seemed to buy it, not asking any further questions. 

They brought Nardole home, then went back to their house. Arthur was too tired at this point to complain about bed, though he did request a story. River took care of both things. 

The Doctor was on the bed in his night clothes when she came in, reading by lamplight—reading being a loose term for frowning at a page for several minutes and trying not to think about the mad Time Lady they had locked in a blue box. 

"You're going to bed?" River asked as she walked into their room. 

"Lying in it, at the least." He let the book flop forwards into his lap, having been reading one line over and over without remembering what it had said. "I'm not sure about sleep yet."

"What about Terra and the twins?" 

"Bill texted and said she'd drop Terra off, and girls both have rides home." He informed her. 

She nodded slowly, "Okay." 

He watched her for a moment. "I'm sorry about today." 

She nodded again, looking away from him. 

He sat up a little more. "Look I... I may be in just a little over my depth. I hate that you're having to deal with the shortcomings and short-lived promises. I didn't think this would happen." He took a slow breath. "But here we are. And I don't care about Missy's ordeal more than I care about you and the kids. I want to do everything I can for you lot. Everything else comes second." 

"I know. It's just been so...difficult." She sighed, "Everything involving her has been so stressful and I worry what the stress is doing to the baby." She pinched the bridge of her nose. 

"I know." He slipped out of bed, approaching her. "I worry, too, even with the weekly scan. So really, my love, if there's anything I can do, just say it. I don't care what it is or if it's random and ridiculous. You're the most important thing in the universe to me next to the kids and whether it's going galaxies away to fill cravings or just kissing you, I'll do it. I want to do it." 

"I don't know anymore. I can't relax knowing that she's here, in our home." Her voice broke, "I don't feel safe in the TARDIS anymore." 

He pulled her into his arms, glancing at the blue box that sat in it's designated corner of the room. "Do you want me to send her away for now?" 

She nodded, hugging him tightly and pressing her face into his shoulder. The ship disappeared from the flat without him having to so much as reach for his mental connection with the TARDIS. The dematerialization was silent and understood.  

River held onto him tightly, "I don't know what to do anymore." She repeated. 

He held her securely, trying to provide as much physical comfort as he could. "It's okay not to know. I don't quite know either, but we're going to figure it out, River." 

"Okay." She breathed, relaxing a bit more now that the ship was gone. He rested his head gently on hers. "Can you talk to me, please? About anything." She murmured, hearing his voice made her feel better. 

He thought for a moment about a topic, settling on Felix when he felt the baby shift between them. River put a hand on her belly, listening to his words. He kept his voice soft and level, much like it had been before they were interrupted. 

Eventually, they sat down on their bed, staying cuddled up. He continued to murmur to her, letting the topics of his words vary. Eventually, the doorbell rang, which the Doctor said was probably Bill dropping their youngest off. 

"You can stay in bed if you like and I can get it." The Doctor offered, to which River accepted

Bill was there, as he predicted, and he thanked her for taking care of Terra for the evening. Terra was still cuddling her sculpture, though now looked exhausted. 

"[Did you have fun with Bill?]" He asked his daughter, ushering her inside. 

She nodded, "[We had chips for dinner!]" 

"[Just chips?]" He raised an eyebrow. Terra nodded, beaming. He resisted the urge to look menacing towards Bill. "[Well I'd like you to have some fruit if you're not too full of chips.]" 

"[I don't want fruit.]" She pouted. 

"[Not even a clementine? You love clementines.]" 

She shook her head, "[I want dessert!]" 

He sighed, scooping her up onto his hip. "I'll see you later Bill." 

Bill waved goodbye, quickly exiting for giving his daughter chips for dinner. 

The Doctor closed the door and brought Terra to the kitchen, knowing he'd have to spend a little while there convincing her to eat something healthy. Terra finally agreed, eating some tomato and cheese. The Doctor sliced her small piece of the food, watching her talk about her day until she said she was full. 

"[Can I say goodnight to Mummy?]" She asked, holding up her arms for him to carry her. 

He agreed, carrying her up the stairs to the bedroom. River was sitting up in bed, reading a book. Terra wiggled out of her father's arms, hurrying up to the bed. "[Hi, Mummy!]" 

"[Hello, my dear.]" River put her book down, "[Did you have a nice time with Bill?]" 

Terra nodded. "[We ate chips and watched telly!]" 

"[Oh, well that sounds like loads of fun.]" River smiled softly, "[Are you headed off to bed now? It's very late.]" 

"[It's only 9:30.]" She protested.

"[Yes and that's an hour and a half past your bedtime.]" She pointed out. 

"[But Mia and Freya get to stay up this late.]" 

"[Yes, but they're much older than you.]" 

Terra looked like she might glare, though ended up yawning instead. 

"[Your father will tuck you in.]" River kissed her forehead. 

The Doctor scooped Terra up again before she co uld protest anymore, bringing h er to her bedroom. Terra went right to sleep when her head hit the pillow, the Doctor returning to his wife. 

River had gone back to reading her book. The Doctor slipped into bed next to her. "How're you feeling?" 

"Look at this." She murmured, pointing to the page she was reading about stress and pregnancy. The page was describing how excessive amounts of stress could lead to premature birth, heart problems and other health issues with a baby. 

This answered his question. "You know, you showed me that page when you were pregnant with Terra. And Arthur. And the twins for that matter."  

"Did I?" She murmured, looking back at the page. 

"Yes." He pressed a kiss to her head. "I know you're worried, my love, but if anything starts going wrong, we'll catch it." 

She nodded, eyes still fixed on the page, "I don't want us to overlook anything." 

"Neither do I." He paused. "Would a scan make you feel better?" 

She nodded. He pulled out a scanner from the nightstand drawer. He always kept one there and it was just as accurate as the TARDIS. She took a deep breath, putting the book aside. 

He programmed the scanner, letting it run its diagnostic. She held her breath when the scanner beeped, reaching for his hand. He read the results calmly. "Everything looks normal." 

She let out a sigh of relief, "Good. That's good." 

"We can scan as often as you'd like." He promised, giving her the tablet.   

"Is it a bit excessive to do it every night?" She asked, going over the diagnostics herself. 

"Who's here to say it is? It's not harmful to you or Felix, and it makes you more comfortable," he reasoned. 

She nodded, finally putting the tablet aside, "Thank you." 

He smiled softly. "Of course. Do you want to wait up for the girls or should I text them to wake us when they get home?" 

"You can tell them to wake us." She murmured, running a hand down her side. 

He nodded, eyes following her hand. "I was working on that device today. We can start collaborating to with you tomorrow." 

"That'd be nice. You take such good care of me." She smiled weakly. 

"Only because you let me." He teased. 

"I've learned after sixteen years." She leaning in to kiss him. He hummed, their lips meeting. "I never got that adult time with you that I was promised." She murmured once they broke apart. 

He raised an eyebrow, though his expression was a mix of pleased and mischievous. "Didn't we? I can fix that, you know."  

"I'd appreciate it if you did." She smiled.

Grinding, he moving to kiss her again. She hummed against his lips, pulling him closer to her.

When the twins came home they found their parents asleep in each other's arms. They had no illusions of what they had thankfully missed, the clothes still on the ground enough of a hint. 

Freya made a face and left it to her sister to inform their parents that they were home. Amelia decided to wake her father, since River was half buried beneath him. She shook his shoulder lightly.  

He snorted awake, turning his head. "Oh, em..." 

"Freya and I are home." She informed, her face bright red. 

He didn't know whether to laugh or apologize to her. He didn't dare move more than his head since his arm was the only thing covering River's bare chest. "Right. Er, thank you for letting us know." 

She nodded, practically running out of the room. 

"Sweetie?" River murmured sleepily, "What's wrong?" 

He looked over at her. "Your daughters are home." 

She hummed weakly, curling closer to him. He shifted to better wrap his arms around her. Maybe they would laugh about it in the morning, or at least share amusement when the twins avoided eye contact at the breakfast table. 

"Baby..." She mumbled. Her belly was now pressed between them and Felix was insistent on wiggling. He smiled, putting on of his hands over her stomach. Felix settled against the Doctor's hand as River fell back to sleep. 


	65. Nothing’s Sad ‘Till it’s Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "[But...But...how are we going to play if his body doesn't work?]" She was crying now, in denial of what this meant. 
> 
> "[We can't, I'm afraid. Toby's...]" His hands formed into fists with the middle and index fingers extended. His palms faced inwards as he tilted the tips of his fingers downwards to the floor. It wasn't a sign that Terra was unfamiliar with, but it was rare that she saw it in use.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy?

**Ch 65**

 

In the morning, Terra poked River cheek to wake her up. River opened her eyes, smiling sleepily, "[Good morning, my love.]" 

 

"[Where are your clothes?]" Terra asked innocently. 

 

River frowned slightly, starting to remember the events of the night before, "[...It was very hot last night so we slept without our clothes.]" She quickly lied, nudging her husband. The Doctor made a confused hum. 

 

Terra shrugged, thinking this was a reasonable answer. "[Well, you should get dressed so you can help me wake Toby up.]" 

 

River tried not to look put off by this statement. "[Okay, sweetie. I'll be right there.]" 

 

Terra nodded, going back to her room where Toby was. 

 

The Doctor sat up. "What is it?" 

 

"It's Toby." River murmured, her tone much darker than before. 

 

River quickly got out of bed, getting dressed and going to Terra’s room. The Doctor did the same, following and still unsure of what was going on. 

 

Terra was sitting on the rug, staring intensely at the dog with a frown. She turned when she saw the shadows of her parents. "[Something's not right.]" 

 

One look at the dog and the adults knew what had happened. "[Come here, Terra.]" River crouched down and held her arms out. 

 

She bewilderedly moved into her mother's arms. "[Something's wrong with him. Is he sick?]" 

 

"[Terra, lovie, you know that Toby was a very old dog?]" The Doctor began gently. 

 

Terra nodded slowly, too inexperienced to see where this was going. 

 

"[Well, when anyone gets old enough, their body stops working as well as it used to...]" He was trying to ease into this as best he could. 

 

"[Toby's body doesn't work anymore?]" She asked, eyes welling up with tears. 

 

He hesitated. "[Yes, my little star. His body stopped working while he was sleeping.]" 

 

"[But...But...how are we going to play if his body doesn't work?]" She was crying now, in denial of what this meant. 

 

"[We can't, I'm afraid. Toby's...]" His hands formed into fists with the middle and index fingers extended. His palms faced inwards as he tilted the tips of his fingers downwards to the floor. It wasn't a sign that Terra was unfamiliar with, but it was rare that she saw it in use. 

 

"No!" She cried, turning and hugging her mother tightly, sobbing. 

 

The Doctor swallowed as Arthur came in, worried by the shout. "What's going on?" 

 

River was too busy trying to comfort Terra to answer. The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment, preparing himself to break Arthur's hearts as well. "Toby's... he passed away last night." 

 

The sadness was immediately evident on his face, and he started to cry as well, "What? No..." 

 

The Doctor pulled the boy into his arms to offer comfort. Arthur held onto his father, crying much like his sister. 

 

"Let's bring them out of here," River whispered.  

 

The Doctor nodded. "Arthur, let's go down stairs." 

 

The children were put at the kitchen table. Terra refused to leave River’s arms, clinging to her tightly. River resolved this by sitting a chair with Terra sitting on her lap. 

 

The Doctor quietly started making hot chocolate for everyone, not really knowing what else he could do. 

 

"Toby was very old. Even simple things were getting very hard for him to do. He's not suffering anymore." River murmured, trying to comfort Arthur. 

 

"But it's not fair." He warbled, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "Can't you do something?"

 

"I'm afraid not, sweetie." She handed him a napkin so he could properly wipe his nose.

 

He took it, energy draining fast. "This is the worst day ever." 

 

"I know." She murmured, holding her free arm out to hug him. He moved closer to her, leaning on her and squeezing his eyes shut. She kissed his forehead. Terra shifted so she could watch the Doctor, already tuckered out from crying. Her sniffles raked through her whole body and her eyes were red and puffy. 

 

The Doctor put the hot cocoa down on the table, sitting with his family. Terra held her arms out, wanting the Doctor to hold her now. He moved her to his own lap, humming to comfort her. 

 

"Felix isn't gonna get to meet him," Arthur whispered. 

 

"You're right." River murmured, "But we can show him lots of pictures and tell him all about how wonderful Toby was." 

 

"It's not the same." He whimpered. 

 

"I know." She sighed, "But it's the best we can do." 

 

Freya and Amelia came into the kitchen after a while, confused as to why their siblings looked so glum. The Doctor quietly informed them of the news, offering them hot chocolates as well. 

 

The twins were saddened by the news as well but weren't caught as off guard as the younger ones. They had seen the dog getting older and understood that he couldn't be around forever. They drank the hot cocoa, the younger kids not having the appetite to touch their drinks. 

 

"Do you think we should call Jack and see if he's willing to come help cheer them up?"  River asked.

 

"It's worth a shot," the Doctor agreed. 

 

"I'll go call him." She breathed, getting out of her seat and moving to the other room to call. 

 

Jack picked up being his normal cheery yet seductive self. River explained the situation, asking if he would come over to help cheer up the kids. He agreed, saying he'd be right there. Knowing he had his own means of getting to their house, she went back to the kids. 

 

"Jack's coming over?" Amelia asked. 

 

River nodded, "He'll be here in a few minutes." 

The Doctor relayed the information to Terra. "[You don't have to do anything you don't want to.]" He assured. She was starting to cry again, pressing her face against his shirt. He rubbed her back. 

 

The family sat quietly in shock until Jack arrived. Jack brought gifts and treats in an obvious effort to cheer the children up. The twins and Arthur were quick to let Jack distract them. Terra refused to leave the arms of her parents. 

 

The little girl cried off and on all morning, switching between her parents' arms every so often. The Doctor at one point went to remove Toby’s body from Terra's room when she was in distracted River's arms. 

 

Jack offered to treat everyone to lunch when the Doctor came back downstairs. The family agreed, the children asking if they could go to their favorite restaurant. 

 

Terra insisted on being carried by her mother when they went to the car, keeping a fist full of River’s shirt in hand so no one could pry her away. The Doctor kept trying to get Terra to agree to be held by him or Jack, worried about River lifting anything more than ten pounds. 

 

"[I want to stay with Mummy.]" She cried, trying to push Jack away from her when the man tried to lift her. He shrugged, trying to assure the Doctor that River would be fine the distance to the cars. 

 

The Doctor sighed. "[Girls, why don't you go in Jack's car.]" One car wasn't going to fit the seven and a half of them.

 

"I want to go in Uncle Jack's car too." Arthur requested, mostly because Jack let him sit in the front seat. 

 

"That's fine, but listen to him, alright? River, I think Terra's going to want you to sit in the back seat with her." He murmured as the three of them headed to their own car. They never used it much, but had there for the occasional need to look human and not arrive somewhere in a phone box.

 

"I wouldn't be surprised." 

 

Terra started whimpering as they approached the car, not hearing the conversation and thinking she'd have to separate from her mother. 

 

"[It's alright, my star. Mummy will sit in back with you.]" He assured. Terra calmed down with this information. 

 

Felix had been quiet today, for the most part, only moving noticeably when he felt the weight of Terra leaning on him. Terra was too tired to comment on this, holding onto River's shirt. 

 

They drove in relative silence to the restaurant, the others already inside when they got there. The three joined the others at a large table.  River and the Doctor sat on either side of Terra, joining the conversation. 

 

As lunch went on, Terra perked up a bit more. Jack offered to have the kids over and River and the Doctor agreed to this, looking to make sure the kids wanted to. The children agreed. 

 

River was growing more and more uncomfortable as lunch went on. Felix had decided to settle right in a position that was irritating her inflamed ligament. The Doctor picked up this information through a few exchanged glances with his wife and tried to move lunch along. 

 

By the time lunch was over, she was in a fair amount of pain, "Can you help me up?" She asked her husband. He nodded, doing so with caution. They didn't want to make a scene or worry the kids. She bit her tongue as Felix kicked, obviously trying not to draw attention to herself.

 

"Jack, will you bring the kids in the cars? We'll meet you there." He had a feeling they were going to be slower than everyone else. 

 

The kids, thankfully including Terra, followed back to the cars, leaving the two alone. He adjusted his arm around her waist. "Will you be alright to the car?" 

 

"I think so, but I don't know about the drive home." She breathed, leaning against him for support. Both of them knew there was nothing they could do until they got home.

 

They made slow progress forwards. It took them awhile to get to the car, but they finally made it. 

 

The adults discussed briefly that Jack was to get everyone home by nine and no later. The kids happily clambered into Jacks car, Terra looking back at her parents. 

 

"[Do you want to go with Uncle Jack?]" River asked, not sure if Terra had changed her mind 

 

"[...Yeah, but not for as long as everyone else wants to.]" 

 

"[Okay. Well, you call us when you want to come home and we'll come get you.]" She gave her a small smile. Terra looked pleased by this, joining the others.  

 

River got in their own car with her husband, quite surprised that her daughter wanted to go out. 

 

"How're you holding up?" The Doctor asked as they drove.

 

"Better. He's moving away from the spot." River was still tense, but less so than before. 

 

"That's good." He murmured. "I figure Terra will only last an hour or so. I can get her later." 

 

She nodded, "Okay, that would be good." 

 

"In the meantime, let's see if we can set up the device." 

 

Felix gave a kick downwards with a teal-blue thought. 

 

"Gentle with mummy." River winced. 

 

_ Play!  _ Felix demanded. 

 

"Play?" River smiled, "That's your first word!" 

 

"He's using words?" The Doctor glanced at her. 

 

"He just said ‘play.’" She smiled. 

 

"I suppose that's why he's moving so much now." 

 

"That would make sense." She put her hand against the spot where he was kicking. Felix excitedly pushed back against River's hand. "Gentle, sweetie." River repeated. 

 

The Doctor chuckled as they pulled up to the house. "He's going to be a menace when he learns to walk." 

 

She laughed, "Weren't they all?" 

 

He made a noise of agreement, getting out and going to her side of the car to help her up. She leaned in to give him a kiss once she was standing. 

 

He looked pleasantly confused, arm around her as they kissed. "What was that for?" 

 

"Because you're my husband." She smiled. 

 

"I like that reason." He tapped her nose. "Now let's see what we can do about that ligament of yours, hm?" 

 

She nodded, "One more kiss first?" 

 

"Of course." He smiled. 

 

She leaned in once again. Felix squirmed, feeling a bit squished between his parents as they shared another kiss. Once they parted, the walked to the house, holding hands. 

 

The Doctor paused when they walked in the door, frowning slightly. 

 

"What is it?" River murmured. 

 

"It's just..." He sighed." Toby usually comes running up to us when we walk in." 

 

Her face fell, "You're right..." 

 

He scrubbed a hand down his face. Both of them had seen the dog's decline as clear as day, but that didn't mean they weren't just as upset as the children were. "I don't know why I was expecting him to come." 

 

She pulled him into a comforting hug, "We're still getting used to him being gone. He was a part of our family for nearly ten years." 

 

He pressed his face into her curls, taking comfort in her gesture. "It’ll be okay." She murmured, rubbing his back. 

 

"I believe you," he said sadly, pulling away. He took her hand, bringing it up to kiss her knuckles. 

 

"Good." She smiled softly, finding her own eyes a bit watery.  

 

"Let's go upstairs." He whispered. She nodded, squeezing his hand. 

 

They headed to their bedroom where the Doctor had left the device. River sat down on the bed, putting her swollen feet up. 

 

"Lift your shirt up." He murmured. She lifted her shirt, exposing her bare skin. 

 

He brought the device and a scanner over. "Activation should be pretty simple. I've just got to place it at the right insertion points and the rest is automatic." 

 

"What is it going to do, exactly?" She asked. 

 

"It's going to latch on to the nerves around the round ligament and act as an external bypass… a surrogate nerve. It was invented originally for prosthetics. The principals are the same here." 

 

"So it's not going to affect Felix at all?" 

 

"That's right." He confirmed. 

 

"Okay, do whatever you need to do then.” 

 

He took the scanner, tapping a few things to bring up guidelines for himself for precise placement. "This will pinch." He carefully lined up each of the round ends of the device, pressing the needles into her skin with care as well as speed as to not draw out any discomfort. 

 

She hissed at the pinch, then relaxed. Once all the round bits were inserted, the wire components automatically tightened to a snug fit. 

 

"How does that feel?" 

 

"Better." She nodded, smiling, "Thank you." 

 

"Good. Let me know if anything needs adjusting." 

 

She was quiet for a moment. "Do you want to lay down with me for a bit before the kids get back?" 

 

He nodded, settling down next to her on the bed. She curled against him, "Do you remember what I told you I saw you after Terra was born?" 

 

He though for a moment before remembering. "Yes." 

 

"I think it's going to happen soon." 

 

"Is it?" He sounded thoughtful. "Do you remember anything more about it?" 

 

"Not really, I'm sorry, it's difficult with the different timelines."  

 

“I'll keep an eye out for any signs." He kissed her temple. 

 

She smiled weakly, "I could use a couple more kisses." 

 

He smiled, beginning to pepper her face with kisses. She laughed, beaming now. Felix kicked happily, feeding off River's joy. 

 

The Doctor continued to kiss River, mostly on the lips now. She hummed against his lips, pulling him closer to her. He moved to her neck, humming and sending vibrations over her skin. She shivered, her body melting against the bed. 

 

Felix kicked again, wondering what was making River happy. 

 

"I think the baby wants some kisses too." River murmured. 

 

He smiled more softly and moved down to kiss her belly, avoiding the device. "We see you, Felix." 

 

"He's quite excited." She smiled. 

 

He traced his son’s kicks, "You're going to love it out here." He whispered. 

 

"We'll take you on all sorts of adventures. We'll start with small ones, like the park and the beach, but soon you'll see galaxies and every planet you can think of." River chimed in. 

 

"You have such excited siblings who can't wait to meet you. They'll be the best family you can ask for." 

 

"You have so many people that already love you so much." 

 

"Your Aunts and Uncles will spoil you rotten." 

 

"Well, hopefully not rotten." River breathed. Felix settled finally tucked under River's ribs and settled.

 

River and the Doctor talked for a bit longer, River deciding to take a nap. 

 

As predicted, Jack called after an hour to say that Terra wanted to come home. The Doctor didn't want to wake River, so he took the vortex manipulator to pick up their daughter. 

 

Terra was less upset than she had been earlier, though she still clung to the Doctor as soon as he arrived. 

 

"[Did you have fun with Uncle Jack?]" He asked her. 

 

Terra nodded, "[I want to go home now though.]" 

 

"[We're taking the vortex manipulator if that's alright.]" 

 

She nodded again. He scooped her up. The pair disappeared from the Hub, materializing in the living room of their own house. 

 

"[Where's Mumma?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[She's napping upstairs.]" He explained. 

 

"[Can I go nap too?]" 

 

"[Of course my star.]" He brought her upstairs. "[Do you want to nap in your room or with Mummy?]" 

 

"[With Mummy.]" 

 

He brought her to his room, putting her down on the bed by River. She crawled over to River, trying to snuggle into her arms. 

 

"[Careful not to wake her, dear.]" The Doctor reminded. 

 

"[But I wanna snuggle.]" 

 

He smiled softly. "[You can snuggle with me.]"  

 

She gave up on River, wiggling into his arms. He hummed to help her relax, arms cocooning her. She fell asleep rather quickly, warm and comforted. 

 

He watched over both of them as they slept, smiling as how alike they looked. River was the first to wake, murmuring. 

 

The Doctor listened for a moment. River sounded frightened. "Riv?" He called. 

 

Her breathing was getting erratic, panicking in her sleep. He reached his hand over, trying not to disturb Terra as he did. He touched her shoulder. "River." 

 

Her eyes flew open, hearts racing.

 

"It's okay, River. You were dreaming." He said quickly. "You're okay." She closed her eyes, trying to calm down. "Are you alright?" He asked. 

 

"Physically? I'm fine." She breathed. Her words said much more than what was spoken. 

 

"Can I do anything?" 

 

She glanced at their daughter still sleeping in his arms, "I don't want you to disturb her." 

 

"She'll be alright." He assured. 

 

She moved closer to him, "Just having you here helps." 

 

He smiled. "It's mutual." 

 

Terra and Felix simultaneously shifted between the weight of their parents. He pressed a kiss to Terra's head. Terra snuggled closer to him in her sleep. 


	66. By the Clock’s Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix kicked happily against his hand. The Doctor's smile grew. "He's quite excited, isn't he? What's he saying?" He asked.
> 
> "He keeps saying 'Papa! Papa!'" She relayed for him, "He doesn't know much else, but he's learning quickly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a slice of life chapter. Enjoy.

**Ch 66**

 

Throughout the week, the adults worked hard to keep the spirits of the children up. The change to the family was sudden and not the easiest to adjust to; Vastra came for tea on Tuesday and brought baked goods. Bill came around the day after and ended up playing football with the kids in the yard. Clara brought books and games later in the week. Though the children still missed their beloved pet, the passing days and numerous distractions made it easier to bare. 

 

The Doctor took to checking on Missy only once a week to make sure she hadn't somehow decided and figure out how to cause trouble. He'd increased the speed of at which time passed for her yet again due to the growing anxiety from him and his wife. 

 

River seemed to be having more and more nightmares and sleepless nights over Missy. She didn’t feel comfortable around the TARDIS anymore and often would refuse to sleep if it was in their room. 

 

The kids were away with Jack for the weekend, as had been promised sometime after the dog had passed. The Doctor and River had taken the opportunity to clean up the house a little. They were in their bedroom at the moment. 

 

"River, I'm not sure going back to work next week is a good idea." The Doctor murmured as he folded clothes.

 

"I can't be in this house alone with nothing to do, I'll go mad.” River defended. “Especially since  _ she's _ going to be in such close proximity to you all day." The TARDIS would be sitting in his office. 

 

"She's not going to hurt me. I'm just worried that work is going to be nothing more than another stressor for you." 

 

"So what am I supposed to do? Sit at home all day?" She crossed her arms. 

 

"Well... no, but..." He knew that would probably be worse. "You need to take it easy. 4-hour lectures on your feet aren't easy." 

 

"Then what do you suggest?" She raised an eyebrow, sitting on the bed.

 

"A paperwork heavy semester." He said unconvincingly. 

 

"Are you joking? Absolutely not!" She scoffed. 

 

"River, you can't be standing all day. You're exhausted enough as it is." He argued. “And your blood pressure was too high on the last scan.”

 

She scowled, "Then I won't stand. It's possible to teach without running about the room, you know." 

 

He opened his mouth, then shut it again, then sighed. "...I'm just worried RIver." 

 

"I know you are, but taking away things that I enjoy isn't going to help." She pressed her fingers into her temples. 

 

"You're right." He murmured, sitting next to her.

 

"It's not my fault that it's stressful that  _ she's _ around. I didn't ask for her to be brought into our life." She kept going, quite cross. 

 

"I know." He scrubbed a hand down his face. "I know you didn't. Look, Riv, I know this is mostly...  _ entirely _ my fault. I know there's not really much I can do to fix it." He stopped for a moment. "What I'm trying to say is that you know better what's good for you than I do. Neither of us is at our best, so if I say something stupid like that again..." 

 

She nodded, glaring a hole in the floor.  

 

"I'm sorry." He finally said. 

 

"It's fine." She grumbled. 

 

"It's not. I'm being overprotective it's turning into micromanaging." 

 

She sighed,  "I appreciate your concern. I'll keep your worries in mind and try to shorten my lectures." She murmured, "Does that help?"  

 

He nodded as the phone rang. River tensed at the ringing phone, something that had become quite common since Missy had moved to the TARDIS. 

 

The Doctor picked up. It was the kids, who had promised him to call and say hello. They weren't to come home until tomorrow, and the Doctor was increasingly protective over them as well. 

 

He put the phone on speaker so River could be part of the conversation and listen to the four kids ramble on about their days. River made them promise not to eat too many sweets, also requesting that they go to bed at a reasonable hour. They agreed with no plans of following through. The conversation ended quickly, the kids wanting to get back to their plans. 

 

"I'm going to make tea." The Doctor offered. 

 

"Okay, that'd be nice." 

 

One of the cats jumped on the bed next to River as the Doctor headed downstairs. River stroked the cat's head, closing her eyes. 

 

Felix kicked when the cat came close. He'd been learning words for things quite fast, though mostly emotions and people. It was hard for him to conceptualize objects, even with River's helpful images. 

 

_ "That's the kitty." _ River murmured. 

 

_ Kitty _ . Felix echoed.  _ Buzzing...!  _

 

_ “Purring."  _ She corrected,  _ "It means he's happy."  _

 

_ Happy buzzer!  _ He decided. He thought about trying to 'buzz' like the cat, then realized he had no clue how to, so kicked instead and repeated,  _ Happy.  _

 

_ "I'm glad you're happy too, my love."  _ River smiled softly. 

 

Felix shifted closer to the cat as he thought hard to remember the next word.  _ Papa _ . 

 

"He'll be back soon, my sweet." 

 

He repeated the word several times until the cat brushed up against him and he was distracted immediately. River smiled, listening to the baby's happy thoughts. 

 

The Doctor returned with a cuppa for the both of them after a few minutes. 

 

"Your son has been waiting quite impatiently for you." She informed him. 

 

He smiled. "Has he?" 

 

River nodded as her husband sat next to her, putting his hand over the baby. Felix kicked happily against his hand. The Doctor's smile grew. "He's quite excited, isn't he? What's he saying?" He asked. 

 

"He keeps saying 'Papa! Papa!'" She relayed for him, "He doesn't know much else, but he's learning quickly." 

 

He beamed and leaned down to press a kiss to her bump. "Are you happy you finally have your father's attention?" 

 

_ Yes!  _ Felix bubbled to which River relayed the information. They spent some time like this, drinking tea and talking to Felix. 

 

"Do you want to go to dinner tonight?" River asked once they had finished their tea. 

 

He nodded. "I'd love that." 

 

"Where shall we go? Somewhere in town?" 

 

"Anywhere you want." The Doctor promised. 

 

"The Vortex Manipulator has been making me feel a bit sick lately, I think it might be best if we stick around here." She murmured, leaning in for a kiss, showing that he was now forgiven for what had happened earlier.  He accepted gratefully, cupping her jaw. She smiled against his lips, "Or we could order in," she added

 

"That does have its perks." He smirked.  

 

"It certainly does. Plus I think there are some strawberries and chocolate downstairs."  

 

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting, Professor Song?" He raised an eyebrow. 

 

She smiled mischievously, leaning her face in close. "Don’t act surprised, sweetie. But you know? I think the strawberries can wait." 

 

"Impatient?" He hummed, kissing her jawline. 

 

"Very." She breathed. 

 

—————--

 

In the evening, River sat in her bathrobe at the kitchen table. Her husband sat across in equally thrown together clothes. They had ordered in food and were enjoying the benefits. 

 

"I don't think I can look at strawberries the same way for at least a week." The Doctor said around a bite of food. 

 

"Too much for you?" She teased.

 

"Just enough, thank you." He peered at her over the carton he was eating out of. "You look gorgeous by the way." 

 

She smiled, "You don't look so bad yourself." 

 

"Is post-sex hair a good look on me?" 

 

"It's a  _ wonderful _ look." She purred, "I think it should look like all the time." 

 

"Tease." He huffed, though was grinning. 

 

She laughed, "You love it though." 

 

He poked her beneath the table with his foot. "How'd you guess?" 

 

"I think this is a bit of a hint." She gestured to her belly.  

 

He chuckled. "And how is my favorite unborn child doing?" 

 

"He's enjoying dinner." 

 

"So Indian food was his idea then?" 

 

"Entirely." She laughed softly. 

 

"He's going to need a middle name at some point, you know" 

 

"Do you have any suggestions?" 

 

"No really, but I'll say now that it's  _ not _ going to be Jack or anything related."  

 

"Arthur will be disappointed." 

 

"I'm sure we'll make it up to him. He's already over the moon about not being the only boy anymore." The Doctor pointed out. 

 

"That's very true." 

 

———————-

 

Jack dropped the kids off around lunch the next day and the twins insisted that it was time to go shopping for school supplies since they already had their schedules. River agreed to take them, assuring that she could handle all the children on her own and that the Doctor didn't have to come. The Doctor looked unsure about the idea but tried not to protest too much since it would probably be too coddling. 

 

Soon all the children were piled into the car, leaving the Doctor home alone. The children were very chatty in the car telling River all about their weekend trip. River listened, happy to hear Jack hadn't done anything too insane with them. 

 

At the store, the twins were practical in getting what they knew would be needed for their classes. The younger kids, however, wanted new drawing books and toys.

 

"We're only here for school supplies." River reminded, removing yet another coloring book from their cart. 

 

Terra frowned. "[But Mia's got  _ three  _ notebooks!]" 

 

"[Yes, but she needs them for school. And they're lined notebooks, not drawing notebooks.]" 

 

"[But I only have one lined book so I should get a drawing book.]" She argued. 

 

"[You only need the one for school, Terra. I already said no more.]" 

 

Terra crossed her arms and looked away with a scowl. Arthur didn't try to sneak any more toys in after that. 

 

"[Don't pout, Terra.]" River scolded, "[You have two untouched drawing books at home, you didn't need another one.]" 

 

She glared, stubbornly sticking her hands in her pockets and refusing to say anything even as they paid and got back in the car. 

 

The Doctor had tea and scones waiting on the table when they returned. Terra ran right up to her room. 

 

"What's happened?" The Doctor asked. 

 

"She's upset that I wouldn't buy her a new drawing book." River explained, telling the other kids to go put their things away. 

 

"Oh... do you want me to talk to her?" He offered. 

 

"You can try." She sighed. 

 

He kissed her temple, then went upstairs to where Terra had fled. Terra was in her room, busy making a complete mess. 

 

He flickered the lights. "[Terra?]" 

 

"[Go away!]" She crossed her arms, plopping down on the floor in the middle of a mess of books that she had just dumped on the ground. 

 

"[I'd like to talk, lovie.]" He signed in a calm manner. 

 

"[Why? I don't wanna talk.]" 

 

"[Why don't you tell me what happened today?]" He pressed. He had a feeling there was something more than just the drawing book that was bothering her based on her reaction. 

 

"[I wanted a new book, but Mummy wouldn't get it for me.]" 

 

He nodded to show he was listening. "[Is that all?]" 

 

She hesitated, looking like she might start crying. "[I wanted a new book because when the baby comes, you'll have less time to play and so I wanted to be able to draw. And Toby isn't here to play anymore, and I wanted to draw more pictures of him before I forget what he looked like.]" 

 

"[Did you tell Mummy any of that?]" He asked. She shook her head. He opened his arms to invited to into a hug. She hugged him, still sniffling. He wrapped his arms around her. "[You know Mummy and I will make as much time for you as possible, even after the baby comes. I promise you.]" 

 

"[I know, but it won't be the same. You'll always have to take care of the baby first because it's smaller.]" 

 

"[He won't be small forever.]" He pointed out. "[And even so, you've got two parents, so one of us can always be with you even if the other is caring for the baby.]"

 

Terra let out a shaky breath, unable to decide whether she believed him or not.

 

"[Do you want to draw Toby now?]" 

 

She nodded. 

 

"[Do you want me to stay with you?]" He asked gently. 

 

"[...Can we go to the kitchen and I can draw it there?]" She asked, seeming to have decided to believe him. 

 

He nodded. "[There's scones and tea, too, if you want.]" 

 

They headed downstairs together, Terra exhausted from her emotional episode. River was sitting at the table drinking tea. The other kids were still putting their things away. 

 

Terra hesitated when she saw her mother, not sure if they were on good terms again. 

 

"[Are you feeling better?]" River asked. 

 

"[A little.]" She admitted. 

 

"[Can I have a hug?]" 

 

Terra looked back at her father, who nodded encouragingly, before giving in and falling into her mother's arms. River hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to her head. 

 

"[Sorry for being mad.]" Terra said. 

 

"[I forgive you.]" River assured. 

 

"[I was worried I'd run out of stuff to keep me busy when you're busy with the baby.]" She admitted. 

 

"[We won't let that happen, sweetie. I promise.]" 

 

"[That's what Daddy said.]" She paused. "[Can I have jam on my scone?]" 

 

"[Of course.]" River nodded, preparing a scone for her. 

 

Terra climbed up into a seat, the Doctor taking a seat next to her. River set the scone in front of her daughter, glancing at the Doctor. He put the drawing supplies he'd carried down for Terra on the table. "She said she wanted to draw Toby," he whispered. 

 

"Oh..." River breathed. The Doctor plucked a scone off the plate for himself as Arthur wandered in. 

 

"Have you finished putting all your things away?" River asked him. 

 

Arthur nodded, slightly deflated, "Yeah.”

 

"Is everything alright?" She asked. 

 

"I don't want summer to end." He sighed. "And I really don't want to have homework again. I hate homework." 

 

River smiled softly, "I know, but there are good parts of school too, right?" 

 

He shrugged. "I like lunch time. But I heard in secondary school they don't give you recess." 

 

"I'm afraid not, but you do get to take more interesting classes." She tried to help. 

 

"Mia and Freya said that the classes get harder and harder every year and by sixth form, it's practically like uni!" Arthur wouldn't actually be going to secondary school until next year, let alone sixth form, but the twins were supposed to start sixth form next week, which was why they needed so many books. 

 

"Arthur, you don't have to worry about that yet. I don't want you to getting worked up about it. Amelia and Freya don't even know what sixth form is like because they haven't even started it yet." She assured.  

 

He took a breath, nodding. "Well, I still don't like homework. And we won't be able to travel as much." He paused, thinking about the TARDIS. 

 

The kids hadn't been allowed inside the ship for weeks ever since it became Missy's new residence—not that they knew that. The box was kept in the vortex at all times, the vortex manipulator purposed for getting in and out. 

 

"We should go on an end of summer trip!" Arthur decided.

 

"We can go camping…?" The Doctor suggested, knowing that they could just take the car for that. 

 

"Can we go camping on another planet?" Arthur asked. 

 

"Um... I'd rather save that for later." He murmured. 

 

"But why?" 

 

"Because won't it be exciting to have to pack everything we need instead of depending on the TARDIS?" 

 

Arthur thought about it then agreed, running off to ask his sister about the idea.

 

The Doctor relaxed. “[What do you think, Terra?]" 

 

Terra smiled, "[I like camping!.]" 

 

"[It'll be an adventure then.]" He smiled, looking at River who smiled back with uncertainty.


	67. Relative Dimension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "[Do we have to share a tent with them?]"
> 
> "[Unfortunately.]" Freya nodded. Since they didn't camp regularly, the Songs only had one large tent for the whole family rather than a few smaller ones (though the Doctor worried about how it would work with River's, at this point daily night terrors.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet today. Enjoy.

**Ch 67**

 

Within the next few days, the Song family was planning and packing to go camping—the kind of camping that actually involved a tent, packing the car, and cramping six people into a car for several hour drive. 

 

The chatter of the children in the backseat wasn’t full of disagreement as it could sometimes be, but it would be a three hours drive which made even the most interesting of topics a little too repetitive. 

 

Additionally, Felix had refused to relax the night before they felt and kept River up for most of it. The volume of the other children didn't help her discomfort. 

 

"Mum, who's taking care of the cats?" Arthur asked. 

 

"Nardole is going to do it," River answered, rubbing her temples. 

 

"What's wrong?" He frowned. 

 

"I'm just tired, sweetie." 

 

"We can stop for coffee." The Doctor suggested. They were two hours in and hadn't had a break from driving yet. 

 

"It's fine." River shook her head, "Coffee's only going to get the baby going again." 

 

"I have to pee." Arthur interrupted. 

 

"Okay. We'll stop, then." River assured. 

 

Arthur retreated to the back once more, rejoining the conversation. The Doctor reached over, taking River's hand. She squeezed back, quietly grateful for a pit stop. 

 

The rest stop was twenty minutes down the road. All the kids were happy to escape the small car briefly. Arthur was trusted to find the restroom on his own, though Terra was made to hold River’s hand.

 

"I suppose this is why we don't take road trips." The Doctor murmured to his wife as he watched Freya exaggerate her freedom from the car’s confinement. 

 

"I don't know if this was one of your best ideas,” River agreed, hand supporting her sore back. 

 

"It got Arthur away from asking about you know who," he murmured. "And I can't complain about getting to spend time with all of you." 

 

"I think it would be more enjoyable if I  _ wasn't _ almost six months pregnant," she sighed. 

 

"Well, you have a very valid excuse for nightly foot rubs." He pointed out. 

 

"And maybe some back rubs and extra kisses?" She added hopefully. 

 

“You hardly even have to ask for those." He kissed her temple. "Think you can suffer another hour in the car?" 

 

"If I get another kiss or two I  _ might  _ survive." 

 

Terra wiggled her hand out of River's as the Doctor kissed her, not wanting to be near their displays of affection. She retreated over to her older sisters who were looking at the landscape. "[Do we have to share a tent with them?]" 

 

"[Unfortunately.]" Freya nodded. Since they didn't camp regularly, the Songs only had one large tent for the whole family rather than a few smaller ones (though the Doctor worried about how it would work with River's, at this point daily night terrors.)

 

——————————

 

River asked the children to help set up upon arrival, knowing she herself wouldn't be much help. The twins were happy to help, though Terra and Arthur just wanted to run around. The Doctor pulled out some of the heavier items that she didn't think Arthur and Terra could carry. 

 

The twins were tasked with putting the tent together. The little ones were sent to gather sticks so they could make a fire later-- it wasn't necessary, but at least it was semi-useful while still filling their need to explore. The adults worked on unpacking. 

 

River was quite exhausted by the time they were done, sitting down in one of the chairs they had brought. Freya and Amelia had taken to exploring with their siblings, leaving the adults to themselves. River closed her eyes, trying to relax now that it was quieter. 

 

The Doctor had set up a chair next to her. "How are you holding up?" 

 

"Alright." She murmured, "I'm pretty tired." 

 

"We'll take it easy today." He said in the same tone. 

 

"Don't worry, I will." She smiled softly. 

 

"I think the kids are going to be exploring until dark." 

 

"I don't doubt it." She laughed. "They’re yours after all.” 

 

"Which means you can take a well-deserved nap." He pointed out. 

 

"Will you come with me?" He nodded, standing and offering her a hand up. 

 

As soon as the Doctor tried to open the front of the tent, the whole thing collapsed. "...Or not." 

 

River sighed, "I'll help you put it back up." 

 

"I can do it." He assured. "Why don't you sit back down?" 

 

"Are you sure?" 

 

"Yes. It's shouldn't take long." He offered a smile. 

 

It took him a little while to fix the tent, testing it to make sure it was secure as could be before inviting River in once more. 

 

"I'll get up in a moment." She breathed, clutching the arm of the chair. 

 

He looked up at her. "You alright?" 

 

She nodded, "He's just being a bit rough." 

 

He approached her, crouching down in front of her to feel the baby. "I think he's excited to be camping." 

 

River smiled weakly, "I would appreciate it if he calmed down just a bit." 

 

He stroked his thumb along the curve of her belly. "Mummy wants to take a nap, Felix." The baby startled to settle against the curve to be close to the Doctor. "Oh. I didn't expect that to work." He looked back up at his wife. 

 

"He likes the sound of your voice." She murmured, "I think he's only settling down because you're here." 

 

"I'd better stick around then." He teased. 

 

She smiled, "Yes, you'd better." 

 

They spent a few minutes like that, the Doctor murmuring to Felix. He settled down over the next few minutes, to the point where River could get up without feeling too much discomfort. They resettled in the tent once he helped River up and stayed there resting until the children came running back, shouting about a rabbit they saw. 

 

"We should probably get dinner started." River murmured when they heard the kids coming back. The two had gotten rather comfortable, snuggling together in the tent. 

 

"And set up more of the beds." The Doctor added. At the moment, they were just lying on two of the six sleeping mats they'd brought and none of the sleeping bags had been taken out. 

 

"I'll start dinner with the kids if you want to do the sleeping mats?" She offered.  

 

He nodded. "Deal." 

 

She gave him a peck on the cheek before getting up and going to deal with dinner. Terra was fascinated with the rustic cooking wear that was used to make food including the not-a-stove propane camping stove and foldable pots and pans. Arthur was sent to help the Doctor and Amelia volunteered to join him. 

 

Before too long, the dinner was made and the family was sitting around the fold up table. The sun was setting and the children were happy to discuss their little adventure. 

 

"What did you find?" River asked. 

 

"There's a creak down the hill that way." Freya pointed. 

 

"And big lake at the end--" Amelia added.

 

"[And a bunny hole over there.]" Terra put in.

 

"An' there are rocks to climb on on the other side of the water," Arthur said. 

 

"[That all sounds very exciting.]" She smiled, "Tomorrow we can all go exploring together." 

 

"I want to swim!" Arthur declared, which was followed by various agreeing noises from his sisters. 

 

"We could do that instead." River nodded. 

 

"[Instead of what?]" Terra asked. 

 

"[Instead of going exploring.]" 

 

"[Can we do both?]" She hoped. 

 

"[Well, we can do one tomorrow and one the next day.]" River reasoned. 

 

"[Swimming won't take all day.]" Terra reasoned right back. 

 

"[Yes, but I don't want to go exploring after dark. And I'm sure you'll be tired after swimming for a couple hours, so exploring won't be as fun as if we save it for another day.]"

 

"[I won't be tired. We can stargaze or something!]" 

 

"[Yes, that would be good.]" 

 

Terra brightened up. "[Does that mean I can stay up late?]" 

 

"[I suppose it does.]" River smiled softly. 

 

Freya declared that she got a bed on the end of the tent so she didn't have to sleep next to more than one person. 

 

"I don't want you four fighting over where to sleep." River crossed her arms.  

 

Amelia opened her mouth to protest then closed it again. Freya shrugged, "I'm not fighting, I'm just saying that's where I'm going to sleep." 

 

The kids discussed sleeping arrangements briefly before they finished dinner. 

 

After dinner, they scrambled to get pillows and blankets so they could lay outside and watch the stars.  There was a clear, rocky spot a short walk from the campsite that they went to. 

 

The night was colder, despite it being the summer. River brought a blanket, sitting against one of the rocks as the children laid out their things. The Doctor settled next to River with his arm around her. "Warm enough?" 

 

She hummed, leaning her head against him. Terra used River's legs as her pillow. She wouldn't admit that having her mother close made her feel better in the dark.

 

The whole family sat and watched the stars, the children pointing out different constellations they recognized. They soon made a game out of making up their own constellations. 

 

It wasn't until a couple hours later that the family went back to their tent, getting ready for bed. Arthur and Terra fell to sleep instantly. The twins stayed up long enough to check their phones before following suit. River and the Doctor were sleeping on the far end of the tent together. 

 

River quickly fell asleep, though was awoken only a few hours later thanks to one of her regular night terrors. The entire tent woke at her shout, minus Terra who didn't hear it. 

 

"I'm sorry." She breathed, once she realized that she had woken everyone up, "E-everything's fine, go back to sleep." She got up, going to leave the tent. 

 

Arthur had turned on his torch, now looking at his sisters and father. "What happened? Is mum okay?" 

 

The girls shrugged, looking at their father to see if he knew. 

 

"It was just a bad dream." The Doctor murmured with hesitance. "She's fine." He got up to go after her. 

 

River was sitting a couple feet away from the tent, head in her heads. It was quite apparent that this dream had been worse than normal due to her sniffles. The Doctor cautiously sat next to her, his voice soft. "Riv?" 

 

"I'm okay." She tried to assure, turning her head away so he couldn't see how upset she was. 

 

"You're not." He could hear her sniffs quite clearly. He touched her shoulder as a silent invitation for her to lean on him. She accepted the gesture, turning to his arms. He said nothing, knowing very well that there was no point in asking what the nightmare was about or what he could do. He knew the answers to both already. 

 

They stayed like that until the torch in the tent behind them went off and they heard snoring. 

 

"I'm sorry." She whispered softly. 

 

"It's alright." He said in the same tone. "You don't have to be sorry." She sighed, closing her eyes. He traced circles along her arm. "It's out of your control, my dear." 

 

"I know, but I still feel guilty for waking everyone up." 

 

He pressed a kiss to her head. "We can figure something else out for tomorrow night." 

 

"Okay." She nodded, "That would be good." 

 

"Are you cold?" The Doctor asked after a beat. She nodded.  "Shall we go back inside?" 

 

"Sure." She nodded, starting to stand up. Settled back into the protection of the tent, trying their best to not wake the children again. 


	68. Three Can Keep a Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freya focused, doing her best to ignore all the sounds of the forest around her. She shaped, slowly, her mental-sphere which, as her father had tried to describe it, was a semi-imaginary embodiment of one's telepathic view of their surroundings. She couldn't actually see through this psychic field, but it helped to pretend that she could and it worked so long as she didn't think about her physical body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I quite excited to have a chapter focused on the kids and them interacting with each other. Enjoy!

**Ch 68**

 

Terra was the first to wake before the light from the sun started filling the tent. Her siblings and parents were still fast asleep around her. Sitting up, Terra yawned and wiggled out of her sleeping bag to go outside. The air was chilly and crisp. The birds were chirping and the scene was rather peaceful even if a bit dark. 

 

Terra shivered at the lack of surrounding heat and grabbed her jumper that she'd left out on a camping chair yesterday. As she did, she saw a rabbit a little ways from the tent and excitedly went closer. The rabbit, of course, tried to run away, wanting nothing to do with the young girl. With a huff, Terra chased right after it. 

 

The rabbit ran deeper into the woods, trying to get away. The girl was determined, following persistently as the campsite disappeared quickly from view. 

 

The rabbit eventually found a tight space to squeeze into to try and get away from Terra. She nearly tripped as she got down to try to see where it had gone. She was crouched over a few oddly grown tree roots. She practically growled when she couldn't see any sign of where the animal had gone. The rabbit was far out of her reach by now, not planning on coming back anytime soon. 

 

Frustrated and a bit out of breath, Terra straightened herself up and crossed her arms. Her face and knees were smudged with dirt but that hardly mattered as much as figuring out how to get to the rabbit. 

 

Terra spent a long few minutes thinking about a solution to this until she started to realize just how unfamiliar her surroundings were. The trees were much denser here, so the paling light from the sky did not get through as much. Terra evaluated the shadows around her, trying not to panic at the number of them. She wasn't sure which she had come from, and that unsettled her even more. 

 

Her mother had a rule about being lost, but she couldn't remember now if it was 'stay where you are until someone finds you' or 'go and look for someone to help.' Terra hoped it wasn't the first one because the darkness of surrounding forest was looking worse the more she stared. 

 

Back at the camp, the other children began to wake up. Arthur frowned at Terra's empty space, wondering where she went. Rather than waking up his parents, he stepped outside the tent and looked around. Terra, obviously, was nowhere to be found. 

 

Arthur frowned at this. He didn't put it above his sister to accidentally wander off—she did it almost every time River let her guard down. He guessed that that had something to do with that fact that River was a bit more protective of Terra because of her age and her deafness, which of course only made Terra want to prove her capability more. Now, Arthur was sure this headstrong trait had gotten his little sister lost.

 

He sighed. The smart thing to do would be to wake up his parents, knowing it would take longer to find Terra because they couldn't just shout for her. Then Arthur remembered last night and the fear in his mother's eyes from whatever dream had haunted her—he was almost sure he and his sisters were the main subjects of that dream. 

 

Crawling carefully back into the tent, he tapped both Amelia and Freya's feet to wake them. Maybe the three of them could solve this before their parents woke and save them all the worry. 

 

When the girls woke up and learned about the news of their missing sister, they both were unsure of Arthur's idea. Although it would be nice if they could solve the problem without their parents' help, they were also afraid of worrying their mum and dad even more if they woke up and all the children were gone. 

 

It took some convincing, but they ended up deciding that between the three of them, they'd be able to find Terra relatively quickly. They decided to stick together and went down the path that had the freshest and smallest shoe prints. 

 

"Maybe we could try that psychic thing that dad can do," Arthur suggested after a while of walking.

 

"But we don't have the same connection thing that he does. We haven't practiced enough so I don't know if it will work." Amelia pointed out. 

 

"We have to try. It's the fastest way to find her." Arthur insisted. 

 

"Okay, but Freya's the best at it, so she should do it." 

 

Freya looked unsure. "I've only done it a few times and never long distance...." 

 

"Please try," Arthur begged. 

 

She sighed. "Both of you take my hands then." The took her hands, Arthur holding tightly. "Now think of Terra and don't say a word. I need to concentrate." 

 

The other two did as they were told, hoping that this would work. 

 

Freya focused, doing her best to ignore all the sounds of the forest around her. She shaped, slowly, her mental-sphere which, as her father had tried to describe it, was a semi-imaginary embodiment of one's telepathic view of their surroundings. She couldn't actually  _ see  _ through this psychic field, but it helped to pretend that she could and it worked so long as she didn't think about her physical body. 

 

This part wasn't too difficult. She could "see" Arthur's mind on her left and Amelia's mind on her right. Beyond that there were tiny minds of trees and bugs, then things got fuzzy. The hard part, Freya figured, was trying to expand this view until she ran into Terra. 

 

Terra was now trying to retrace her steps. She remembered passing an oddly shaped tree, but then again there were a lot of those around. Occasionally, she put her hand on a tree or the ground to see if she could feel anyone coming. As she walked, she did this more often just to make sure there wasn't something following her in the shadows. 

 

Freya frowned as she tried to stretch her view. After a few minutes, she figured out not how to expand radially in all directions like she'd hoped, but rather how to take her mental-sphere and move it around like a torch while keeping the shape of it static.

 

Beside Freya, Amelia was also trying to locate her sister. Her telepathic capacity was not yet as strong as her twin's, so her range of sense was smaller and slower. Arthur wasn't sure at all how to do any of what his older sisters were doing, but he could feel the presence of their telepathy and tried his best not to be weirded out by it. 

 

Terra was moving fast now. Regardless of the sun being more up than down, she was alone and she swore the shadows kept moving. Her hearts beat hard as she hurried over overgrown roots and uneven ground. She stopped only to put her hand on a tree, flinching when she felt a low vibration. It was probably just a branch falling someone, but now Terra’s adrenaline flooded mind was sure there was a monster chasing her and she sprinted. 

 

Freya finally began to feel as though she saw something, trying to concentrate harder on what it was. Something was moving at a run about a mile away, something with a mind blind with fear. It was running so fast that it tripped, falling and scraping its hands and knees. It had to be her.

 

"I think I found her!" Freta pointed in the direction she had sensed what must be her sister. 

 

"Is she okay?" Amelia opened her eyes. 

 

"She's scared and she's running." 

 

"In the right direction or the wrong one?" Arthur asked. 

 

"The wrong one, we have to be fast if we want to catch up with her." 

 

The three started running. Terra wasn't usually faster than any of them, so she must have been terrified if they thought they might not be able to outrun her. Meanwhile, the sun was rising and the Doctor and River would be waking up any minute. The older children were aware of this, the fact only motivating them to go faster. 

 

Terra started to feel vibrations in the tree's again and she was sure it wasn't her imagination. Terra found that she was only getting more and more lost, sniffling and wishing that she hadn't chased after the rabbit in the first place. 

 

She stopped once more, too tired to go any further. Still utterly panicked, Terra found small patch under a tree where the sunlight shone and sat down with tear-streaked cheeks. She was exhausted now, her limbs ached terribly, and there was a thought in her head that River's rule had probably been to stay still and let someone find her. 

 

There was a different thought that was wasn't sure was her own, that someone  _ was  _ coming. Knowing that she was probably too tired to outrun whoever was coming, she decided that hiding was her next best option. She thought back to earlier of how the bunny she had been chasing had found a small spot out of reach to squeeze into. She began looking around so she could do the same, hoping that she'd be able to make herself small enough so that she would be overlooked. 

 

Arthur, Freya, and Amelia came running into the area where Terra was now hiding. 

 

"I know she's here." Freya painted. "I can feel her."

 

"Do you think she's hiding?" Arthur asked, looking around the area. 

 

"Hang on..." Freya put her fingers to her temple.

 

Terra squirmed where she was hiding, feeling like something was trying to intrude into her head. Freya put as much energy as she could into locating her sister. Opening her eyes, she carefully went over to a spot between a bush and a tree. 

 

Terra was trembling, curling up into the smallest ball possible.  

 

Freya reached out to touch her shoulder, trying now to make a projection of warm thoughts. Terra cried out at the touch, not realizing it was her sister until she looked up. As soon as she saw who it was, she leaped up, hugging her tightly. 

 

Freya pulled Terra out into the open, keeping her arms around the girl assuringly.  _ You’re safe now, I promise.  _

 

It was then that a sudden wave of telepathic energy surged over the four of them in a sudden burst that none of them had caused. The children all put their hands to their head as the wave latched on to them.

 

-x-

 

"Doctor..." River murmured sleepily, rousing from her sleep. 

 

The Timelord next to River stirred, "Hmm?"

 

"..Have to get up soon." River mumbled, "The kids..." She had her head tucked beneath her husband's chin so she did not notice that the children were already up and gone. 

 

The Doctor frowned slightly. He didn't hear any movement from the children, and with the sun up he would've expected to be woken up by their excitement by now. He cracked an eye open. "Er... River..." 

 

"Hmm?" She hummed. The Doctor swallowed, staring at the empty space where the children should have been. "What is it?" River murmured, starting to sit up. 

 

The Doctor gestured to the other side of the mostly empty tent.

 

River's hearts seized as she looked back at the empty beds. The Doctor took River's hand, obviously having a similar reaction. Both of them were jumping to the worst conclusions possible and were jumping out of bed to start searching.

 

River looked like she might scream or possibly start crying when there was no sign of the children outside the tent. Instead, she turned to her husband with a trembling but hard tone, “Damn it, Doctor, find them right now!”

 

With a swift motion, the Doctor focused and released a surge of telepathic energy that rippled out in concentric circles from where they were and over the surrounding forest with speed fast than he could run. 

 

"I've got a location," he informed after a moment.

 

"Where? Where are they?" She asked, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the forest. 

 

"About two miles that way." He pointed west. "They're all together." 

 

She took off, going as fast as she was able to—which was a speed walk given how early is was and the extra weight of the baby.

 

The Doctor was right behind her. "River, they're alright. I've given them a map back to us." 

 

"What if you're wrong? What if someone's taken them and you're wrong." She snapped. 

 

He answered without words, putting his fingers on her temple to give her partial control over the mental anchor he still had on the children. "Ask them, then." 

 

She stopped walking. It took her a minute to gain control of her racing thoughts before asking the children if they were alright. 

 

Freya answered as she was the only one who knew how to talk with her mind without having to give it much thought.  _ Yes, we're okay. Terra ran off and we thought we could find her before you woke up.  _

 

_ Thank goodness. I appreciate your help, but please wake us up next time.  _ River hands were shaking, she put them on the Doctor's shoulders, her knees feeling weak. He wrapped his arms around her. 

 

Terra, not able to control her thoughts very well, let a burst of images through, which included the rabbit, the dark shadows, the running, and her siblings finding, her along with a general guilty feeling about having run away. 

 

"What was that?" River breathed, talking about the dark shadows that Terra had shown her. She was still quite on edge and worried that something more had happened to her children, despite their confirmation that everything was fine. 

 

"Just a shadow." The Doctor replied.  _ You lot had better be heading back now.  _

 

_ " _ Why was there a shadow? Was there something following her?" She kept going. 

 

_ We are, we'll be back soon.  _ Freya assured.

 

"I'm sure there wasn't. The world just looks awfully scarier when you're alone and the dark and nine years old." For good measure, the Doctor pulled up the image Terra had given them. River nodded slowly, pressed her forehead against his. They watched as the image of the dark forest popped up in their heads. The shadows seemed to dance and creep forwards the more they stared at them. River was starting to relax now that she could see her children were not in immediate danger. "Just fear." The Doctor whispered after they'd scrutinized Terra's perspective. 

 

He'd withdrawn his anchor by now, not able to maintain it for that long. River nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. It would take her a while to actually calm down. They sat down on a nearby rock to wait for the kids, neither of them really had the energy to go all the way back to camp. 

 

"I've had so many nightmares of waking up and finding the kids gone." She whispered, shaking her head. 

 

"I know," he said in the same tone. She sighed, putting her head in her hands. He held her until the kids came into view. 

 

Terra was holding tightly onto both of the twins hands, looking exhausted. As soon as River saw them, she got up, pulling them into her arms. 

 

Terra hugged River tightly. "[I'm really sorry, mummy.]" 

 

"[It's okay, my love. It's alright. Please don't do that again]" 

 

"[I won't.]" She promised. The experience had shaken her enough that she wouldn't try anything like this for a long while.

 

"My head hurts." Freya murmured. 

 

"Why don't you lay down when we get back and we'll get you some water." The Doctor suggested.

 

The rest of the family followed back to the campsite. River got Freya some water once they were back and asked, "What happened exactly?" 

 

Freya took the water, gratefully "I, um, I tried to—well I  _ did  _ use a mind-sphere to find Terra." 

 

River raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Really?"  

 

"We wanted to find her before you freaked out and it was the fasted way." She explained quickly. 

 

"Oh… Well, I'm proud of what you did." She murmured. 

 

Freya smiled weakly. "How did dad reach us all the way from here? I was trying to do that, but it didn't really work." 

 

"Well, he's been doing it for much longer than you have." She pointed out. 

 

"I want to learn it." 

 

"I'm sure if you ask, he'd be willing to help you." 

 

"We didn't mean to scare you guys." She said after a moment. "I thought we'd be back." 

 

"I know you didn't. I understand."

 

"It's just that you and dad looked pretty upset..." 

 

"We were. After everything we've..." River stopped, starting over, "It's scary waking up and finding out that you four are gone." 

 

Freya nodded silently, remembering vaguely when she'd woken up to find Amelia missing when they were about four years old. 

 

"I'm glad you're safe though."

 

Freya nodded absently, looking over at her other siblings who were watching as their father made hot cocoa on the camping stove. River sat down, her hands still shaking. 

 

The Doctor brought over a cup for Freya, then sat next to River and took her hand. She squeezed his hand tightly, "Let's have an easy day, yeah?" It was more of a statement than a suggestion. Between their aftershock, Terra's exhaustion, and his and Freya's headache, none of them were really up to do more than just sit by the lake. 

 

River nodded, closing her eyes. 

 

"How's your head?" The Doctor posed the question to his daughter. 

 

"Still hurts, but it's starting to feel better." 

 

He reached into his pocket and produced some Advil for her. 

 

"Thanks." She murmured. 

 

The Doctor took some for himself as well, looking back at his wife. "Do you want a coffee?"

 

She shook her head, "I’m plenty awake." 

 

"Can we still go swimming?" Freya asked. 

 

River nodded, "Yes, but I don't want you to go in too deep." 

 

"I can swim fine, mum, you know that." 

 

"I know, but I want you to be close." She murmured. 


	69. Suffer the Little Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "[...Can I sit with you?]"
> 
> "[Of course.]"
> 
> They settled in front of the fire pit, which was full of barely warm ash by now.
> 
> "[I don't think I'll be a good big sister to Felix.]" Terra said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, kind of short today. Enjoy :)

**Ch 69**

 

It was around lunch, when Freya's headache started to subside, that the Songs went down to the lake. 

 

The adults sat on the rocks and watched the kids closely as they swam. River was still shaken by the morning’s events, her whole body tense. The Doctor kept soft conversation with her in hopes to help ease her or at least give her a distraction. She rested her head against his shoulder, squeezing his hand as she listened to him talk. 

 

The children spent the majority of the day within their mother's sight except for when they helped collect firewood. (Even then, they didn't stray far.) Terra took a nap with River sometime after lunch.

 

The Doctor discussed possible sleeping arrangements with River when she woke. The only possible choice for River seemed to be sleeping in the car where the kids wouldn't hear if she had a night terror again. The Doctor pointed out that it also might be more comfortable because of the padded seats. 

 

River refused, "I can't do that after what happened this morning. I just won't sleep. We're going home tomorrow, so I'll sleep when we get home." 

 

"That's not-- River that's not a good idea. Now of all times, your sleep is important." He glanced down to her middle for a moment. 

 

"I'll be fine. I'll get sleep when we get home." She insisted. 

 

He looked very unsure but knew that she knew the consequences as well as he did. "If you're sure..."

 

"I'm positive," she kept her ground. Before the Doctor could argue again, Terra pulled her mother away to show her something.

 

As promised, that night River didn't sleep. It helped a bit that Felix was feeling more active that night and insisted on River's company and entertainment. River talked to him quietly, telling him stories that helped keep her awake after the children were tucked into the tent. 

 

She sat outside, next to the fire in order not to disturb her sleeping family. Fireflies were visible for a few hours, disappearing around the same time the fire died down. 

 

In the very early dawn, the tent door began to unzip. River was still attempting to keep awake, though the sound of the tent opening woke her a bit more. Terra half fought with the door as she made her way out, zipping it shut behind her. 

 

River stood, going over to her daughter, "[What are you doing?]" 

 

She looked up. "[Looking for you. Why aren't you in the tent?]" 

 

"[I wasn't able to sleep so I decided to sit out here.]" River explained, "[It's still early, you should go back to sleep.]" 

 

"[I had a bad dream.]" She frowned. "[And daddy's on the other side of the tent, I can't reach him unless I wake everyone up.]" 

 

"[Do you want to tell me about it?]" River asked. 

 

Terra sighed. "[It was about yesterday.]" River nodded slowly, letting her continue. Terra explained feebly how she kept thinking about the shadows and how scary the forest had looked. She mentioned how Freya and Amelia sometimes told stories about all the terrible people and creatures who had tried to attack the family before she was born and worried that it might happen again. 

 

River sighed, "[Terra, I promise there is nothing for you to worry about. You're safe.]" River wouldn’t admit this was still something she herself had trouble believing in. 

 

"[What about when you and daddy had to go away because there were bad people chasing you? And when we had to be humans?]" 

 

River frowned, "[That… Terra the world is never going to be  _ perfectly _ safe. There will always be danger, but I promise your father and I will be here to protect you.]" 

 

"[What if you get hurt?]" She looked at River with round eyes.

 

"[If anything ever were to happen—and I promise that it would be very hard to get rid of me—then you have three older siblings that will always be there for you.]" She smiled softly.

 

"[...Can I sit with you?]" 

 

"[Of course.]"

 

They settled in front of the fire pit, which was full of barely warm ash by now. 

 

"[I don't think I'll be a good big sister to Felix.]" Terra said.

 

"[Why not, sweetie?]' 

 

"[I'm not good a protecting anyone like Freya and Amelia are.]" 

 

"[Well, you know I didn't think I'd be any good at protecting anyone until I had Freya and Amelia. Sometimes, you don't think you can do something, then when the time comes you surprise yourself.]" 

 

"[What do you mean?]" She frowned, finding herself surprised that River could ever doubt herself in that category. 

 

"[Even before you came, I was scared I would be a bad mum because I didn't know how to sign. But I tried my best, I did everything I could for you.]" She explained. 

 

"[But you're the best mum.]" She pointed out. 

 

"[I'm glad you think so.]" River smiled, "[And I'm sure if you try your best, Felix will think you're the best big sister.]" 

 

Terra thought this over. "[When he comes, does it mean Freya and Mia will stop being my big sisters cause they gotta do it for Felix?]" 

 

"[Of course not! They'll probably want to spend even more time with you because they won't want to get stuck changing diapers.]" She smiled. 

 

Terra made a face. "[They have to help change nappies?]" 

 

"[They might, but not too often.]" 

 

"[I don't want to change nappies.]" She said, watching River to make sure this wasn't going to become a new chore for her. 

 

"[I promise I won't make you do that.]" 

 

Terra relaxed some. "[What do babies smell like?]" 

 

"[Well, I think they smell nice and fresh.]" 

 

"[Do you think we could meet a baby before Felix comes so I know what they're like?]" 

 

River nodded, "[I think we can arrange that.]" 

 

"[You know a baby?]" None of their close friends had children that they knew of. 

 

"[Well, there's a daycare at Luna University and there are always babies there.]" She explained, "[I could take you there and we can visit the babies.]" 

 

Terra looked pleased with that. "[So I can come to work with you?]" 

 

"[I suppose you can come in one day.]" River nodded. 

 

Felix shifted up, wedging himself under River's ribs. Terra stared at River's belly, though her face didn't curl up into resentment as it sometimes did. "[Is it okay to be a little scared about having a new brother?]" 

 

"[Of course it is.]" River rubbed her arm comfortingly. 

 

She leaned into her mother's touch. "[...Are you scared to have another baby?]" She wondered. 

 

River hesitated, then nodded slowly, "[A little bit. It's always scary welcoming a new person into our family.]" 

 

"[But you still want him.]" This was more of an observation than a question. 

 

"[Of course.]" 

 

"[How come?]' 

 

"[Well, it's difficult to explain. I love him because he's my baby.]" 

 

Terra paused, thinking about this. It was easy for her to forget that Felix wasn't just some small, strange creature coming to stay in the house, but a real baby who was actively wanted and created by her parents—how that worked was still a mystery to her. "[Will he like football?]" 

 

"[I'm sure he will. Will you help teach him how to play?]"  

 

"[I don't really like other sports, so he has to like football.]" 

 

River laughed softly, "[Alright. Well I'm sure he'll love it if you teach him how to play when he's old enough.]" 

 

Terra reached over and picked up a stick, using it to poke at the dirt by her feet. "[What sort of games do you play with babies?]" 

 

River spent the next while answering Terra's various questions, hoping this would help with the sibling transition. Felix shifted around, as he usually did when River was thinking about any of the children. He had figured out that sometimes it meant they were nearby, and he had grown to love visitors. 

 

The baby's movement and the constant questions helped chase away River's sleepiness and she found it easier to stay awake. 

 

After an hour and a half, and a few attempts to feel Felix kick, Terra decided to go back to bed for the few more hours of sleep she could get. River gave her a quick kiss and wished her sweet dreams. 

 

Everything was quiet once again. A bird or two were waking in the distance. The sky grew lighter, though stars remained visible. River sat back in her chair, going back to trying to stay awake. 

 

After a long while, the tent unzipped again, though this time it revealed her husband. 

 

"Morning." River murmured tiredly. 

 

The Doctored offered a smile and moved to sit where Terra had been sitting an hour ago. 

 

"What time is it?" 

 

"I'm not sure. Still pretty early in the morning, I think." He searched the pocket of the light coat he'd put on for his phone, checking the time. "Quarter to five," he murmured. "Are you cold?" 

 

She nodded. 

 

He shrugged his coat off and put it around her shoulders. "How're you feeling?" 

 

"A bit tired." She confessed, holding the coat against her cold form. "Did you sleep well?" 

 

He shrugged again, wrapping his arm around her as well. "Missed you." 

 

"I missed you too." She smiled softly. "But you're here now." 

 

He pressed a chaste kiss to her temple, then lowered his head to give her a proper one. She hummed softly. 

 

He stayed outside with her as the sun finally made an appearance. River was really starting to fall asleep now, more relaxed now that the Doctor was outside with her. 

 

Terra was the first one up of the kids as usual. The girl wiggled out of the tent again, this time finding her parents cuddling out in the morning sun. She trotted over to them. "[What are you doing?]" 

 

"[Just snuggling.]" River replied.  

 

"[Can I, too?]" 

 

River nodded, opening her arms so the girl could come cuddle with them. Terra climbed up to join them, though mostly ended up sitting on her father's lap since River's was mostly occupied with Felix. 

 

The family sat for quite a while, River eventually drifting off, unable to stay up anymore. Terra seemed confused by this, presuming that her mother had been sleeping for most of the night.

 

The Doctor smiled at the both of them, signing slowly as not to jostle his wife. "[She's just a bit tired, my star.]" 

 

"[Is it from the baby?]" She asked. 

 

He nodded, knowing River wouldn't want him to mention her all-nighter. Terra nodded, thinking she understood now. 

 

"[She mentioned you had a bad dream last night.]" 

 

Terra nodded slowly. 

 

"[Are you feeling better?]" 

 

She nodded, '[Mummy said that the bad people won't hurt us because you'll keep us safe.]" 

 

He smiled softly, though his mind jumped to the Time Lady occupying their TARDIS. "[She's absolutely right.]" 

 

Terra smiled contently, "[She also said that I could meet a baby!]" 

 

"[Did she? Are you going to visit the ones at her work?]" 

 

Terra nodded, "[Have you visited them too?]" 

 

"[Once or twice.]"

 

"[Were you ever scared to be a dad?]" 

 

He nodded. "[Very.]" 

 

"[Why?]" 

 

He started to say something, then stopped and thought about it. None of the children he had now knew about the ones he'd had hundreds of years ago. That had been a factor for him, though he didn't think he ought to mention it because he wasn't ready to explain why they weren't still around. "[Well, babies are a big deal when you're expecting one. Your mother and I were very different people when we were expecting your big sisters. We didn't have a house beside the TARDIS. I traveled every day. I was worried I might... get it wrong.]" 

 

"[But now we have a big house!  _ And _ we have a house in London. And you don't travel every day anymore.]" Terra observed. 

 

"[Yes. I'm not scared anymore either.]" 

 

"[I think you're great at being a dad! You're the best!]" 

 

"[I'm very glad about that.]" He tapped her nose. 

 

She beamed, hugging him tightly. He snaked an arm around her finding himself relaxing from a tension he didn't know he had. 

 

"[Are we going home today?]" Terra asked after a while. 

 

"[Yes. Sometime after lunch.]" 

 

"[Can't we stay one more day?]" She pleaded. 

 

He shook his head. "[Bill's won't be there to feed the cat's tomorrow. I promise we can go on another trip soon.]" He assured though it wouldn't be an overnight one, that much he knew. 

 

"[Next week?]" She asked.

 

"[You'll be in school next week and I'll be at work... Maybe if we don't have too much homework.]" 

 

"[Can we go to a different planet?]" 

 

"[Ask your mother later.]" 

 

The other kids started to wake up and go about a vague morning routine. Terra convinced her siblings that they should go on a hike today before they left. Her siblings were quite enthusiastic about the idea. 

 

The Doctor packed a picnic as the kids got ready. "You know, Riv, you could stay here and rest. We won't be more than a couple hours." 

 

River agreed to stay behind, quite relieved by it, in fact. 


	70. Of Freedom and of Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River's jaw tightened, but she kept her back to Missy, "What story?"
> 
> "Oh, it's a classic!" Missy enthused. "You know: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with, boy and girl get married. Let's start there shall we? A wedding."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do one at the regular time. Enjoy :)

**Ch 70**

 

It was about twenty minutes later after River had settled alone in the tent for a long nap, when her mobile rang. The sound woke her up and she grabbed the phone with slight irritation. "Hello?" 

 

"Oh," came the voice of a Scottish woman. "I wasn't expecting  _ you _ to answer." 

 

River huffed, mood immediately turning sour, "What do you want, Missy?" 

 

"Quite a lot of things, actually." She said nonchalantly. "But I'm presuming you really mean why is it that I've called. Besides that I'm bored, of course.”

 

“I'm not going to stay on the phone to entertain you." She snapped, "Tell me why you called or I'm going to hang up." 

 

Missy sighed. "It's your grudge-holding ship if you must know. She's running low on Antron energy but  _ some _ Timelord bio-locked me out of the controls." Her annoyance was obvious. "It's one thing to make a girl do TARDIS maintenance as punishment and another to make that job impossible to do. Honestly, a little respect wouldn't hurt." 

 

"Fine. I'll tell the Doctor about it, but he's out right now so you're going to have to wait until he gets back." Unless this was an emergency, River wasn't going to go up to see Missy by herself.  

 

"How long will that be, exactly? Because the fuel is only getting lower as we speak and there isn't a tow truck for interdimensional spaceships the last time I checked. I'd rather avoid the life support systems shutting down in me, thank you. This stupid ship already likes playing enough tricks on me as it is." 

 

"It's not going to be for another few hours. If it was really that low then why didn't you call sooner?" 

 

"Oh, yes, clearly I should've done a faster job in checking a virtually infinite—and for the record very sassy—ship for problems." She said dryly. "Oppsies." 

 

"Well, Antron energy is one of the key parts of getting the TARDIS to work so perhaps it would have been smart to check that first." River growled, going to the car to get her vortex manipulator.  

 

"Great, lesson learned, I'm so enlightened," Missy said quickly and in monotone. "Are you coming to help or not?" 

 

"Yes, I'm coming to help." She sighed, inputting the coordinates. She and Missy hadn't seen one another in person in over a month now. "I'll be there in a minute. Don't even think about trying anything." 

 

River hung up the phone, not waiting for a response, then tried to ring the Doctor. He picked up quickly. "Is everything alright?" 

 

"There's a problem on the TARDIS." River sighed, not going into too much detail in case the kids were somehow listening. "And now I have to go fix it." 

 

"Do you think you'll be back before us?" 

 

"I'm not sure. Hopefully, I will be, but it wanted to call in case I wasn't. I didn't want you to worry." 

 

"I appreciate it." He murmured, knowing he very well would have panicked if he returned and she was missing. "If things get... overwhelming, call me." 

 

"Okay, I will." She took a deep breath. 

 

"Love you." He murmured, a slight worry in his tone. He knew the stress and anxiety River got from being around Missy and wasn't sure about her going on her own. "Good luck."  

 

"I'll be fine." She tried to smile, "Love you too." 

 

She put her phone away, putting in the last of the coordinates before leaving the campsite. 

 

Missy was sitting in a big chair on the upper deck of the console room, her feet propped up against the rail. River immediately got to work, not wanting to be alone with Missy for any longer than needed. 

 

Standing, Missy brushed off her skirts. "Are you going to say anything?" 

 

"I have nothing to say to you." 

 

"Feeling dark and broody today, then." She said as she descended the stairs. "I forgot how hormonal you could be." 

 

"Unfortunately I didn't have the pleasure of forgetting how irritating you can be." She turned, giving Missy a patronizing look.

 

"Oh, the lady  _ is _ talking. How exciting." Missy was at the console now, resting her elbows on the panels like she was about to hear some thrilling gossip. "Where's that husband of yours?" 

 

"His whereabouts are none of your concern. He's occupied at the moment, so I'm here instead." 

 

She crossed her arms. "Why shouldn't it be my concern? He's my friend." 

 

"Friends don't hurt each other's families. They don't kill each other's children." River growled. 

 

"Still on about that, are you?" She inspected her nails. 

 

She laughed bitterly, "Obviously you still don't get it. You still haven't gotten it through your thick head that losing a child isn't something you ever get over." 

 

Missy was silent for a long moment. "I rather think I do understand that." 

 

"If you did then you wouldn't be mocking me for still holding it against you." She turned, slamming on the controls. 

 

Missy didn't flinch, and though her words still taunted, there was something in her tone a bit more serious than before. "I'm bananas, remember? Care to bet on how that happened?" It wasn't a real question, but she didn't wait for any reply nonetheless. "Of course you don't, you want nothing to do with me. I’m afraid, dear, that at this point, you have  _ everything _ to do with me. You could kill me now, tell him indoors that there was an accident. Why don’t you?" She sat in the jump seat. "Go ahead and indulge yourself. Get "even" with me. I thought we were even long before this whole oath thing was put into place. Or has the Doctor not told you that story yet?" 

 

River's jaw tightened, but she kept her back to Missy, "What story?" 

 

"Oh, it's a  _ classic _ !" Missy enthused. "You know: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with, boy and girl get married. Let's start there shall we? A wedding. Always loved a wedding, me. The Doctor was best man at mine. He got so drunk that he tried to kiss my wife." 

 

River frowned but said nothing. 

 

"He promised to invite me to any wedding he had, you know. Funny what happens to promises..." Missy stared at a spot on the console for a moment. "Well, it's utterly predictable what happened. Boy and girl have a honeymoon, move into a house, have a kid." She tapped her chin pretending to think. "The Doctor is normally quite good at giving presents. He got me a broach when my at my daughter's baby shower. And for her naming ceremony he got... what was it?" She smiled bitterly. "Oh, that's right. He got an intergalactic war." 

 

"That wasn't for you. That war didn't happen specifically to mess with you." She muttered. 

 

"Not the Time War,  _ River _ . This was before that." She snapped. Missy had hardly ever addressed River by name. "But, gee, that makes me feel much better.” 

 

"I don't need a history lesson. I already know." River whispered. She did, in fact, know most of the Gallifreyan wars by name, though how her husband was involved wasn’t always clear-cut.

 

"I doubt your brain could hold much in it.” She stopped. “I rather think I'm done with the storytelling for today. You're a terrible listener anyways. You missed the whole point." 

 

“Luckily for me, I don’t care.” River went back to focusing on getting the TARDIS re-fueled, though she was still uncomfortably aware of Missy looming over her shoulder. 

 

Missy seemed to be done with trying to get on River's nerves, now just silently staring at her. River was silent as well, making it a point not to look at Missy, however, she was starting to notice a quite painful ache in her abdomen that was getting increasingly worse.  

 

The TARDIS was stubborn as it piloted to its usual spot in front of the Torchwood hub to recharge. Once they landed, River leaned against the console, putting a hand to her side and pinching the bridge of her nose. 

 

Missy frowned, finally speaking. "Sick of me so soon?" 

 

"I was sick of you before I even got here." She hissed. 

 

"Now, now, don't let Baby control  _ every _ thing you say." 

 

River was about to respond, then sucked in a breath, gripping the console. She quickly tried to hide the moment of weakness by turning her back to Missy. 

 

"How long is this stop going to take?" Missy pressed. 

 

"At least two hours." River answered, shooting her a look. 

 

"Well, are you going to grit your teeth and bear my company or go to the-- whatever's outside? I can't follow, the doors won't open for me." 

 

"Fine. If you don't want me here then I won't stay." She turned to leave. 

 

"It was you who despised my company if you recall," Missy mumbled. 

 

Jack was outside, walking towards the TARDIS. She waved to Jack, going to meet him. He greeted her with a hug. "Where's everyone else?" 

 

"They're on a camping trip, I brought the TARDIS over for refueling." 

 

"That usually takes a while." He observed. "Why don't you come inside for coffee or something?" 

 

"That'd be nice." River smiled weakly, nodding in agreement. He grinned and lead her inside. 

 

She sat and talked with Jack for a while, trying to forget about the unsettling conversation with Missy. Jack was easy to chat with on almost any subject, whether it was a serious matter or not. 

 

After about 2 hours, River went back to check on the TARDIS, feeling a bit more relaxed than before. Missy had gone from the console room. The readings on the screen showed a good analysis of the engines. 

 

River decided now would be a good time to call her husband and let him know she was on her way home. 

 

Again, the Doctor picked up relatively quickly. "Riv?" 

 

"I'm fine." She murmured, knowing that would be his first question. 

 

"Hi, mum!" Arthur said in the background. 

 

"We're in the car." The Doctor said. "We'll be home is about two hours." 

 

"Okay. Hi, Arthur." She smiled softly, "I'm finished so I'll meet you at home." 

 

"If you overlap with Bill, tell her she's welcome for dinner." He reminded. "Did everything go alright?" 

 

"It went as expected." She murmured, "I'll see you at home." 

 

He had a feeling that 'expected' meant not all that well. "Right. See you at home." 

 

She hung up, putting the ship back in the vortex. "Missy, I'm leaving. Any more requests before I go?" She shouted, not wanting to have to come back. 

 

There was no response. 

 

The silence made her uneasy. "Scan for Time Lord life forms." She told the TARDIS. The ship quickly brought up Missy's location a few rooms down the hall.

 

River walked down the hall to were the TARDIS was displaying her location, knocking on the door. 

 

"What do you want, trollop?" Came the annoyed voice from inside.  

 

"I was going to ask if you wanted anything else. But if  _ that's _ how you're going to be then I'll just go." River scowled in annoyance. 

 

The door suddenly swung open. Missy stood with a sickeningly sweet smile. "I'm sure you've figured out by now that I'm not subtle when I want something. And unless you're offering freedom from this stupid ship, you don't have my attention. In case you've forgotten: time is faster in this box for me. I've been here  _ centuries _ now and neither you or daft Willy bother to check on me more than once a decade. How am I supposed to prove I deserve to re-enter the universe if you act like a scared rabbit every time I'm within thirty feet of you? Have I hurt your wee wittle feewings?" She batted her eyes. "Well, I don't care anymore. I said I'd be good, not nice. So yes, _ River Song _ , that's how I'm going to be." 

 

"If you have a complaint about how much my husband visits you, then take it up with him. You're his responsibility, not mine." She snapped at her, turning on her heels to go. "If you're not going to play nice then I won't either. Enjoy the next decade, Missy." 

 

Missy’s voice echoed after River, though she stayed put. "Sooner or later you're going to have to deal with me. Better make it before that poppet arrives." 

 

River didn't waste any time leaving, setting in the coordinates and going back to her home. The TARDIS landed about half an hour before the rest of the family was to get home so she wouldn't have to wait too long. 

 

River sat in the living room, arms crossed, planning on having a talk with the Doctor about Missy. The TARDIS left back to the vortex again, knowing it made the adults uncomfortable to have Missy near. 

 

She sent the kids to the backyard to play when they arrived home, making the Doctor sit with her. "We need to talk about something." 

 

"Is it about the camping?" He asked. "In retrospect, not my best idea and if there's next time it will involve real beds." 

 

"No, it's about Missy. We need to go speak with her." 

 

He looked up at her. "Oh... about what?" 

 

"She said she was you to come see her more often. She wants a chance to prove that she's changed." 

 

"You don't seem very keen on either of those." The Doctor murmured. 

 

"I'm not very keen on her being here in the first place.” 

 

The Doctor decided not to comment on that. "What does she mean by proving herself?" 

 

"I don't know, but I think we need to go talk to her together." 

 

He nodded. "Alright. Did you have a time in mind?" 

 

"Now?" 

 

He looked uncertain. "Maybe today is not the best day for it..." 

 

She raised an eyebrow, "Why not?" 

 

"You've already had to see her once. I think that in itself deserves a proper wind down from." 

 

"I promise I'm not going to break if I see her more than once. I can handle it." She shook her head, "Besides, making her wait is only going to piss her off more and make the next time we see her even more miserable." 

 

"I'm not worried about her, I'm worried about you." He searched her face. "But if you're sure..." 

 

"I'll be okay." She murmured again, leaning in for a kiss. He kissed her softly, arms moving instinctively around her. She hummed against his lips, letting him pull her closer. He pressed his forehead to hers when they pulled apart. 

 

"I think we need to have an adults-only vacation before the baby comes." She smiled softly. 

 

"With proper beds and real food, I presume?" He teased. 

 

She hummed, "I quite like the sound of a proper bed." 

 

"Me, too." He said in the same tone. "And I believe I promised you a massage after sleeping on the ground." 

 

She smiled, "Maybe after we go see You-Know-Who." 

 

The children came back inside at that moment asking, "Can we order takeaway tonight?"

“No, we’ll cook dinner for you soon. Your father and I just have to... do a maintenance on the TARDIS. We’ll be back soon. Girls, watch your siblings for now?” 

 

They agreed, knowing it would probably be a night of telly. River got the vortex manipulator, plugging in the coordinates. 


	71. This Won’t be Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So basically, you want me to be you."
> 
> He squared his shoulders. "If that's the mindset that going to have you save people instead of killing them, yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snow day + nice comments = extra update. Enjoy :)

**Ch 71**

 

The console room was dark and drafty when River and the Doctor materialized there. River looked around the console room, wondering why the room was now so cold and dark. 

 

"Missy's the only living thing occupying the TARDIS regularly." The Doctor murmured, knowing River was wondering. "It saves energy to shut down the rooms she's not in. The lights will come on in a moment." 

 

"I miss being in here," River murmured. The lights started coming back section by section of the room. 

 

"Me, too." He agreed. 

 

She walked over to the console monitor. "Scan for Time Lord life forms," she requested. The monitor brought up two locations: one in the console room and one in the library. 

 

The Doctor took her hand. "I suppose we should get this over with." 

 

She nodded in agreement, "The sooner the better." 

 

They headed down the hall, Felix moving quite a lot. He tended to be much more active after a trip with the vortex manipulator—something about the discharge of arton energy tickling, the Doctor often said. 

 

They were nearly there, though River had to stop and catch her breath, the pain in her side that had been their earlier was now returning. 

 

"You alright?" The Doctor frowned slightly. 

 

She nodded, "Yes, don't worry." 

 

"Alright... but please tell me if something's wrong." 

 

"I will." She smiled weakly, continuing on so he wouldn't worry. 

 

Missy was all the way in the back room of the library where the Gallifreyan books were kept. The married Time Lords walked quietly through the library until they came close to her. 

 

River cleared her throat. 

 

Missy didn't turn around. She was in silk pajamas, staring at one of the bigger, older books kept on a pedestal. "Two of you? It must be my birthday." She sounded more tired than their last encounter. 

 

"You were complaining that we haven't given you a chance to prove yourself so we're here to talk." 

 

She turned slowly. "You don't have to pretend, I know you'd rather see me rot." 

 

"And listen to you snap at me the next time I come to check on you? No thank you." 

 

"Ooh,  _ you _ were going to come and  _ visit _ me again? Now I feel really special." 

 

River rolled her eyes, looking at her husband. "Missy," the Doctor began, "this is a negotiation, not a game. You're in the last stretch of your sentence, but we won't release you unless you can prove you're ready." 

 

"I know it's not a game." She snapped. 

 

"Well, shall we sit somewhere then?" 

 

"I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you." She murmured. 

 

He sighed. "This won't be a traditional test." 

 

"Nothing with us is ever traditional." 

 

"I think the only way this will work is if it's like a practice run," he continued, ignoring the comment. Missy raised an eyebrow. "A hands-on sort of—something that would mimic a real-life situation. A scenario that you've got to figure out." He explained. 

 

"So basically, you want me to be you." 

 

He squared his shoulders. "If that's the mindset that going to have you save people instead of killing them, yes." 

 

"Will I get the pets or companions or whatever you call them too?" She sneered.  

 

"They're called  _ friends,"  _ he corrected, "and I don't know yet. Most of them don't know you're here." 

 

"She knows I'm here." Missy nodded at River. 

 

"She's my wife, I don't keep secrets from her." He murmured, not sure he liked the direction this was turning. 

 

"Well, she can be my disposable!" Missy continued on, loving how it made River squirm. 

 

"I don't think so." He glared. 

 

"Why? Maybe we'll bond and become _ best fwiends _ !"  

 

He unconsciously squeezed River hand. "Because this will be real people in real danger and I'm not putting my pregnant wife in the middle of it." 

 

Missy shrugged, "Pity, I think we could make a good team. My dashing looks and brilliant mind combined with her...  _ homely _ appearance and weaponry skills; we'd be unstoppable." 

 

He sighed, looking at River. 

 

"You want me to work with  _ her _ ? You're seriously considering that?" River frowned.  

 

"No. Well, maybe. A bit, but we still have other options..."

 

River crossed her arms, her expression equally cross. 

 

"Maybe it's time to clue in Vastra and Jack on the situation...?" If any of their friends could temporarily take up a companioning role with Missy, it was those two. 

 

River nodded, thinking that perhaps it could be a good idea. He turned back to Missy. "In four weeks--almost three hundred years for you--you're going to be let out of here for your test. You  _ will _ be supervised and I'll decide later where your test will be and who'll come with you." 

 

"Great. So I get to live through another three hundred years while you two try to pretend I don't exist." She rolled her eyes. 

 

"I'm not going to apologize for having a life outside of tending to you. We have children to care for and another on the way. You  _ know _ that." She still didn't know about Terra, but that was hardly relevant. "Unless you have a better plan, that just how it's going to be."  

 

"It's not my fault that you two can't seem to stop making those little pests." She snapped, "I've been good, I think I deserve more than a five-minute visit to prove that to you." 

 

"Then what do you propose?" He challenged. 

 

"You should move back here, into the TARDIS."  

 

He crossed his arms, mirroring his wife. "I don't think so." 

 

"Why not?" She raised her eyebrow, "Are you afraid I might do something? Wouldn't this be the  _ perfect _ opportunity to prove that I've changed?" 

 

"I don't like taking risks, not when it comes to my family. I may have mentioned a few hundred times that I don't want you near my children, and since they need to live with River and me, we won't be living here while you are."

 

Missy glared, "So you'd rather leave me here to rot and resent you both?" 

 

"I hardly think the leaving you in the comforts of the TARDIS will make you rot." He sighed. 

 

River, who had been quiet for the duration of this exchange, suddenly grabbed and squeezed the Doctor's hand, wincing. The Doctor's attention was immediately drawn from Missy to River. "What's wrong?"  

 

"Pain...right here..." She breathed, pointing to the lower part of her abdomen. 

 

"Missy, we'll continue this talk later. River, let's get you to the med bay..." 

 

She nodded, still holding onto him tightly. Ignoring the face Missy was making, the Doctor wrapped his arm around his wife's waist and helped her to the medbay. "Has this just started?" 

 

"No, but it wasn't bad, for the past couple hours it's only been a little discomfort, but it got worse all of a sudden." She explained. He helped her onto an examination table. "It's a sharp ache in this area." She gestured to her lower abdomen. 

 

"It could be a hiccup with the neural bypass device..." He hypothesized as he programmed the scanner. "And it's a bit early for Braxton-hicks, but that's not impossible either." 

 

She nodded, "It's probably something easily fixable, right?" She said this mostly because she wanted comfort, not because she believed it. 

 

"Probably." He agreed though they both knew that he didn't know. 

 

The scanner beeped and they picked it up quickly. "It looks like there's an infection in the neural device," the Doctor murmured. "I'm going to have to take it out." 

 

"Will you be able to put a new one in?" River asked. 

 

"Not until the infection has passed." He shook his head. "With antibiotics, I'd say the soonest is in perhaps fifteen days." 

 

She groaned, knowing the pain was going to get much worse once he took the device out. 

 

"Sorry," he sympathized. "...We could try the antibiotics without taking the device out... but it would be slower and might not work." 

 

"Let's just take it out. I'd rather make sure the infection goes away than risk it." She murmured.

 

"Right. Just take deep breaths, I'll make this quick," he murmured, placing his hand on the device. "Ready? One... two... three." He pulled, the insertion hooks sliding up with his hand. 

 

River hissed, swallowing any other noised that dared make its way from her. He put the device aside. The skin around where it had been attached to River was red and now oozing slightly an almost transparent fluid. 

 

The Doctor took a few tools in hand and started tending to the area. "Are you sure the pain only started today?" 

 

"Yesterday. I could feel a dull pain, but I thought it was just from camping." She murmured. 

 

"You went camping did you?" Came a voice from the doorway. Missy was standing there, no longer in her pajamas but in one of her usual dresses. "How domestic." 

 

River shifted uncomfortably, feeling quite vulnerable in her current position. "Our kids wanted to go." She muttered. 

 

"It's doesn't get boring for you? All that," she made a vague hand gesture, "stability?" 

 

River glared at her, "Our life isn't boring. We still go out on adventures, though that's been difficult since you came and took over the TARDIS." 

 

" _ I'm _ not stopping you from traveling. It's not my fault my mere presence makes you cringe." She had stepped further into the room now, absently touching the things on the counter. "It's a shame this couldn't be solved with something as simple as, I don't know, letting me go a little early." 

 

"We're not letting you go earl-aggh." She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. 

 

Missy watched with amusement and the Doctor reached for River's hand. "Are you alright?" He asked. 

 

She nodded, squeezing his hand tightly. The neural device had been blocking all the pain from the irritated ligament, but now that it was gone, all of it was crashing down once more. With the scar tissue as present as it was, the mere stretch of the pregnancy was enough to spark up shooting the pains. 

 

"It's probably going to hurt every time Felix moves to fast or roughly." He murmured and kissed her forehead in sympathy. Missy pretended to gag, making a disgusted noise as loudly and irritatingly as she could. The Doctor sighed through his nose. "If you don't like it, Missy, you can leave." 

 

"And miss the most entertaining thing that's happened in here all decade? I don't think so." She scoffed, "I can tolerate the horrid domesticity if it means I get to watch someone in pain, especially her." 

 

He turned, glaring. "My wife is  _ not _ a channel on the telly." River gripped the Doctor's hand tighter as Felix kicked right where the pain was worse. "Get out." He whispered. 

 

"I don't want to." Missy pouted, "It's so boring in here." 

 

"I don't care." He let go of River's hand, approaching Missy. "It wasn't a question. Leave." 

 

"Doctor..." River breathed, not really caring about Missy at this point, wanting him to take her hand back.

 

"Would you really rather chase after me than sit with your wife." Missy provoked, moving away from him. 

 

"I'd rather you listen to me the first time." He hissed, glancing back at River. 

 

River propped herself up on her elbows, wanting to get between her husband and Missy to calm him down. Her shifting was difficult enough as it was, so she wasn’t sure about attempting to stand, however, the Doctor was saying something about Missy being childish—River looked like she might actually try it. 

 

"River..." his attention was back on her now. "You need to relax. Lie back.” 

 

"You need to calm down..." She breathed, "Getting angry is only-" She winced, "only going to provoke her more. You know that."  

 

"Alright, but please lay back down." He urged. 

 

She leaned back again. Missy continued to stand in the doorway, arms crossed. 

 

He gently finished dressing the infected area of River skin and got to work figuring out how he could make her more comfortable. He found some heat patches for River to put on the areas that were aching. 

 

River said she wanted to get out of this room once the heated patches were on, asking if he would come with her to their bedroom. 

 

Missy rolled her eyes at that. "Honestly, it's no wonder you two keep popping out babies." 

 

"I'm sorry it bothers you so much that my husband and I share a bed." River hissed. 

 

"Aren't you supposed to be thinking about my test?" She raised an eyebrow.  

 

"Your test isn't our top priority, so no. We'll think about your test when we have time." 

 

"I'm just a spare hobby, am I?" She glared. 

 

"If that's how you want to put it. We have more important things to worry about." River snapped. 

 

Missy went baby-voiced for a moment and battled her eyes for effect. "Like the wittle baby making its mummy go ouchie?" She resumed her normal voice again. "Last I checked, that kiddo isn't coming out for, what, two months?" 

 

"Alright. You want us to think about your test now? Now that I'm  _ extremely _ irritated with you, tired, and am feeling inclined to make your test as impossible as I can make it? If you're really impatient we can do it right now. Or you could wait until after I've gotten some rest and am in a better mood."  

 

"I  _ like _ impossible." She grinned. "I thought you knew that." 

 

"Here, I'll give you a practice test. You've got to be nice to me for three days. If you can manage that, then we'll start thinking about your real test. If you can't, then we'll keep you here for another thousand years." 

 

For once Missy was shocked. "You can't be serious." 

 

"No… I couldn't be more serious, actually." River shook her head, trying to look put together. 

 

"What does being 'nice' to you entail?" She crossed her arms. 

 

"Well, you can't talk back or make rude remarks whenever I say something. If I ask you to do something for me, you should do it. Maybe even throw in a compliment one or twice. I know that it's hard, so if you didn't want to even attempt it, the Doctor and I can leave now and you can start looking forward to your additional thousand years." She said the last bit mockingly. 

 

Missy stared in horror, looking at the Doctor for help. He looked unsympathetic and completely taking River's side. 

 

Missy looked like she might scream, but squared her shoulders and jaw instead. "Are you  _ actually _ going to stick around for three days?" 

 

"Yes, we're going to  _ actually  _ stay for three days. And I should mention that spending the three days avoiding us doesn't count and will just result in failure." 

 

"Great, now I'm a service dog and prisoner." She muttered. 

 

"Let's start now, shall we? How about you go make us lunch and bring it to use in our bedroom." River smiled at her. 

 

"Slow down a moment, I don't think my being nice involves answering to your every beck and call." 

 

"You're right, it doesn't. However, nice people, or at least people who are attempting to be nice, do nice things for others. So, a nice thing you could do for me is make me lunch. And perhaps, if you do something nice for me, I'll be inclined to do something nice for you." 

 

Missy scowled. "I'll have you know I can't cook." 

 

"Well then, the TARDIS will help you."


	72. Renewal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And here I thought Time Lords were capable of rising above the repulsive reproductive frenzy you humans have. She's influencing you, Doctor."
> 
> River hummed, "I'm such a bad influence."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missy is so fun to write. Enjoy.

**Ch 72**

 

Together the Songs walked to their bedroom from the medbay where Missy was left jaw hanging. River was acting slightly like a cat in the sense of needing the Doctor’s help to stand without doubling over, while simultaneously actings as though she were perfectly fine. 

 

“How’s the adjustment?” her husband asked, knowing better than to say ‘how’s the pain’?

 

"Not great, but I'm relieved to have finally shut Missy up," she murmured. 

 

"It was clever," he agreed. 

 

She smiled weakly, "We don't need to call a sitter for the kids, right?" 

 

Time moved faster in the TARDIS, so for the kids, River and the Doctor would only be gone for an hour or so as opposed to three full days. They wouldn’t even have to jump back in time with the vortex manipulator. 

 

"I shouldn't think so," he confirmed. 

 

They arrived in their room. The Doctor offered to rub River’s feet, to which she voiced she’d rather cuddle. They settled on the bed together. She tucked her head under his chin and he placed his arms around her, a hand resting gently on her stomach. 

 

"How's Felix?" 

 

"He's calmed down quite a bit," River murmured. 

 

"Not bothered by all the happenings, then."

 

"I guess not." She smiled weakly, "You don't think the infection will interfere with him, do you?" 

 

"No. The antibiotics will stop it before it gets anywhere close to being dangerous to him,” he assured. 

 

"That's good to hear." 

 

Felix kicked against the Doctor's hand, shifted, then settled again. "He loves you." River smiled softly.  

 

He smiled as well. "I can't wait to meet him." 

 

"Neither can I. I hope he looks like you."  

 

"What does looking like me entail? Certainly not gray or wrinkled," he teased. 

 

She laughed softly, "No. I'm talking about the shape of your face, your nose, your jaw, your wonderful eyes." 

 

He met her gaze. "Now, are sure it's not just a second me you want around, dear? That sounds like your next birthday present." 

 

"Well, I certainly wouldn't be opposed to there being two of you." 

 

"I had a feeling you wouldn't." He tapped her nose. 

 

"So is that something I get to look forward to?" 

 

"If I said yes, then it wouldn't be a surprise." 

 

"Perhaps it can be an early birthday present?" 

 

"Perhaps." He echoed. 

 

There was a knock. 

 

"Come in." River called.  

 

Missy opened the door, looking a bit grouchy. There was flour on her shirt and a dish in her arms that was meant for holding casserole but had in it a rough approximation of the traditional meal  מos'Rhovae had cooked for them back on Gallifrey. "This is the only thing I know how to make." Missy blew a few stray hairs from her face. "If it tastes like rubbish then throw it out." 

 

River looked at the meal. "Is this Tsiat Cubiegh?" she asked, surprised that Missy would make it for them since it was a dish that usually celebrated a coming child. 

 

"Oh look, mummy's done her research," she muttered, dropping the dish onto the nightstand. 

 

"It's very kind of you to make this for us." River complimented, letting the snarky comment slide. 

 

"It's all I know how to make." She repeated, which was about as close Missy got to saying thank you. 

 

River nodded, "Right, well since you did something nice for me, I won't make you sit here and talk to us. You can go do whatever you'd like, within reason, for the rest of the night." 

 

Missy didn't say anything, leaving the room. River sighed, looking at the dish, then at her husband. 

 

"If you think it's poisoned, I'll have the first go at it." He offered. River nodded at this. He reached over, taking a fork Missy had brought and tried some of the food. "This... actually isn't bad." 

 

"Really?" She looked surprised, taking a fork full for herself. It was comparably dryer than  מos'Rhovae's version, but taste wise managed to be similar.  "It's not bad." River murmured. 

 

He hummed in agreement. "I didn't think she knew how to make this."  

 

"I'm surprised. I thought she'd make something simple like sandwiches," River murmured, "I didn't think she'd make a  _ traditional _ meal." 

 

"Well, maybe it's her idea of being kind," he shrugged. 

 

They chatted for a while longer and ate, though Felix only seemed to be growing more restless as time went on. River was finding it hard to focus on anything more than breathing through the pain the baby’s movements brought after a while. with her pre-occupied.

 

"I don't know how I'm going to do this for the next fifteen days." She breathed, interrupting the Doctor’s distraction of a one-sided conversation 

 

"...There are some things we could try, but I'm afraid it'll mostly be trial and error." 

 

"I'm willing to try things." 

 

"How does a hot bath sound?" 

 

"That'd be nice." She nodded. 

 

Felix shifted once more as the Doctor went to go start the tap.  _ Bored _ . 

 

_ If you settle down I'll tell you a story.  _

 

_ What story? _ His curiosity only made him more restless. 

 

_ Any story you'd like.  _

 

_ Papa.  _ He thought, both a request for the story and man's presence. 

 

_ Okay. Okay, we can go get him and he can tell you a story.   _

 

This was met with a response of light, shining blue. River got up slowly, going to the bathroom. 

 

The Doctor looked up as she came it. "The bath isn't full yet." 

 

"Your son wants a story from you," she murmured, leaning on the counter. 

 

"Does he now?" He smiled softly. He crouched down so his head was right by Felix. "You know, little star, Mummy tells just as lovely stories as I do." 

 

"He's very insistent that you're the one that tells the story." She murmured. 

 

"Did you ask nicely?" While River was translating between them, he still directed the question at her belly.  

 

"Yes, he did." 

 

"Good." He smiled and began to tell about one of his adventures with River. River closed her eyes, trying to relax her body as he told the story. 

 

They paused for a moment when the tub got full to shed their clothes and get in. River became much more relaxed once she was soaking in the warm water. 

 

The Doctor continued speaking softly, the room quiet once he was done with the story. It wasn't a bad quiet, more of a content lull. This quiet lasted for around twenty minutes until there was a loud, insistent banging on the bathroom door. 

 

The Doctor sighed. "Missy, this had better be important."  

 

"Will you tell your bloody ship to stop trying to freeze my room over!"

 

He glanced at River. "I'll handle this. Why don't you stay here?" 

 

She pouted, not wanting him to leave, "She's like having a toddler." 

 

He made a noise of agreement. "Or a cat." 

 

"Why can't we just tell her to figure it out herself like an adult and go away." She murmured, leaning in to kiss him, trying to get him to stay. 

 

He leaned into the kiss, easily convinced. "Missy, go get a blanket." He called through the door. 

 

"She's been hiding all the blankets." Missy banged on the door again. 

 

"You know as well as I do that I don't control this ship, I negotiate with her. Maybe she'll give them back if you ask nicely." 

 

Missy pounded on the door again, though it mostly was just to annoy him. He didn't respond to that, though squared his jaw with clear irritation. 

 

"Ignore it." River murmured, pressing her lips to his once more. He was glad for the distraction, wrapping his arms around her. 

 

"I'm not an it! I'm a Time Lady!" Missy shouted, obviously having heard what River said. 

 

"Then act like one and not a four-year-old." The Doctor muttered. 

 

"Well if you'd stop shagging your wife for two minutes and actually come help me I wouldn't have to act like this." She pounded on the door again. 

 

He smirked slightly at that, looking back at River. "A premature accusation." 

 

"Disgusting nonetheless." Missy pretended to gag loudly. 

 

"I rather think the opposite." He was getting distracted again, looking over River's body with darkening eyes. 

 

"Missy I think you'd better leave." River murmured. 

 

"Ugh, please tell me you're not going to do what I think you're going to do. Now I really am going to be sick," Missy complained. "and here I thought Time Lords were capable of rising above the repulsive reproductive frenzy you humans have. She's  _ influencing _ you, Doctor."

 

River hummed, "I'm _ such _ a bad influence." 

 

"I think you need to remind me just how bad an influence you are." He started peppering kisses along her jaw. "

 

Well if you insist." She purred, pulling him closer. 

 

Missy groaned in defeat on the other side of the door. It took a few more minutes of exaggerated moans to properly scare Missy off. Once she was truly gone, they got to more thorough work with each other. 

 

—-x

 

Waiting on the bed when they got out of the tub in a large round cage, was a bird. A raven to be more specific. 

 

The Doctor stopped short at the sight of it. "What the hell?" 

 

River frowned, "Missy!" 

 

There was no answering laugh, which meant she wasn't waiting around to see their reaction. The Doctor lifted up the birdcage, moving it off the bed. "Where did she get a raven?" 

 

"I don't know. What is it supposed to mean?" 

 

"She's probably just messing with us," he sighed. 

 

River frowned, "What happened to her trying to be nice to us?" 

 

"She needs a reminder." He stared at the bird. "River... I think it's a hologram." 

 

River approached the bed, reaching out to touch the cage. The cage seemed real enough, cold and hard to the touch like any real metal might be. The bird darted out to bite River's finger when she was close enough, though unlike the cage, the bird's beak went right through her finger, leaving her skin untouched. River jumped back in shock anyway, immediately jumping to defense. 

 

"It's a hologram." He repeated. "It can't hurt you." 

 

"But the cage isn't. The bird is a hologram, but the cage is real." 

 

He picked up the cage. "Then there should be a button... here." He clicked something and the bird suddenly disappeared. 

 

"Where is she?" River growled, stalking out of the room. 

 

"Er... probably in her room." He followed after her. 

 

River stormed down the hallway, banging on the door, "Missy!" 

 

"Yes?" came her voice from inside, smooth and level like she didn't know what River was in a huff about. 

 

"Why the hell was there a raven in our bedroom?" 

 

"Maybe it liked you," Missy suggested. 

 

"Fine, if you want to keep playing games than I don't have to stay here. We can end your test right now and keep you here for an  _ additional _ thousand years, as promised." 

 

"Or," The door suddenly swung open. Inside MIssy's room hung dozens of the holographic bird cages, from ravens to hummingbirds. "I thought it might look nice in your room. You've got lots of pets, don't you?" 

 

"Is that really what you thought?" River crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow.  

 

Missy scowled. "Is that so hard to believe?" 

 

"Actually, yes, it is." 

 

"Well, it's the damn truth." She snapped. "You make it very frustrating trying to be good, you know. You're always assuming I'm up to something terrible or want to make you suffer! So fine, I find it amusing sometimes, but I've been in isolation for hundreds of years now trying to do  _ nothing else _ but be better! And Every. Time.  _ You _ walk in those stupid blue doors and demand that I'm just plotting your downfall just makes me want to really do it! I can't disappoint you if you already assume the worst!" 

 

"I'm sorry if I find it hard to trust you given your history towards my family. I find it hard to let my guard down and trust you after the  _ multiple _ times you've tried to kill me." River snapped back, "I'm not going to pretend that everything is roses just because you said that you're going to try to be good. I'm not going to start trusting you simply because you said a few nice words." 

 

"Right, how could I be so hopeful," Missy said dryly. "Don't keep the raven if you don't like it. What do I care." 

 

River was practically steaming, turning sharply and leaving. 

 

The Doctor stayed for a moment. "Was it really a gift?" 

 

"What do you care?" Missy glared at the floor. 

 

He didn't answer for a moment. "Why a raven?" 

 

"Ravens are a sign of renewal." She muttered cooly. 

 

He nodded slowly. "I'll talk to River about doing your real test soon." 

 

“Good luck with that." She scoffed. 

 

He frowned. "If you want her to show a little faith in you, maybe you should start showing a little faith in her." 

 

She turned her back to him, crossing her arms. He sighed, leaving to go back to River. 

 

River was in their room, pacing. The birdcage was no longer anywhere to be seen. He closed the door quietly behind him. "Are you alright?" 

 

"I don't know." She whispered. 

 

He sat down on the end of the bed. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

 

She shook her head, "I hate that she's here." 

 

"I know, " he whispered. "Maybe... maybe we should just give her the test and get it over with." 

 

"Do you think that's a good idea?" 

 

"Well, I don't think she's going to turn on us and stab us in the back if that's what you mean. I think she's learned that her ways were... bad. Now she needs to learn that there's real gratification for doing good. Not just the good that involves trying to be kind to us, but the kind that involves saving lives instead of taking them." 

 

River sighed, "I suppose we can let her give it a shot." 

 

"We can work out the details later. It's late. We should sleep." 

 

She nodded, going to lay down on the bed. He settled in next to her, kissing her forehead. "Sleep in as much as you want. I'll make you a big breakfast in the morning." 

 

"Thank you." She hummed.


	73. Mind Chatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All of our kids have been born in the TARDIS."
> 
> "We can still do that if you want," he answered.
> 
> "But...Missy's here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

**Ch 73**

 

In the morning, the smell of breakfast arrived in the bedroom before either of the Songs left the bed. 

 

"Sweetie?" River murmured sleepily, starting to stir from her sleep. 

 

The Doctor had already been awake for a little while. "Hm?" 

 

"It smells wonderful. What did you make?" She curled against him, opening her eyes. 

 

"I didn't make anything." He replied. "But it smells like sausage." 

 

"I thought you said you were going to make breakfast." She murmured. 

 

"I was waiting for you to wake up," he explained. 

 

"Oh, I see." She breathed, "Well I would like to stay in bed with you for a bit longer." 

 

He nodded with a soft smile. "Of course." 

 

She wrapped her arms around him sighing contently. They stayed like that for the better part of an hour until there was a knock on the door. 

 

River had started to fall back asleep, the knock pulling her out of her sleepy trance, "Come in." 

 

Missy entered bearing a plate with some sausages on in and half of a Victoria sponge cake. River's jaw tightened, though she didn't say anything. Missy silently put the food down on the nearest flat surface, looked at the couple, then left again. 

 

"That's would explain the food we've been smelling." The Doctor whispered. 

 

River hummed, still watching the door. The Doctor got up and brought the food over, trying one of the sausages. "How is it?" She asked. 

 

"Overcooked." He wrinkled his nose. 

 

"Well, she did say she doesn't know how to cook." 

 

He nodded, going for the Victoria sponge. He grimaced as soon as he took a bite. "Don't try that."  

 

She smiled weakly, "Is it really that bad?" 

 

"I think she used tomato paste instead of jam." 

 

River held back a laugh, "Is that so?" 

 

He nodded. "A sweet thought, but unfortunately a failed one. I'll take you out to breakfast and spare you...," he gestured to the food, "this."  

 

They didn't end up getting up for another hour, taking their leisure time to get out of bed and dressed. 

 

"Maybe we should just stay here. I don't really feel like leaving our bedroom today. We hardly ever get time to ourselves anymore, it'd be nice to spend the day with you in here." 

 

The Doctor smiled. "This _ is _ a rare opportunity isn't it?" 

 

She nodded, "We don't have to leave the room if we don't want to." 

 

"True." He tapped her nose. "But I  _ would _ like to find a suitable replacement for Missy's attempt at breakfast." 

 

"Well, I suppose we can go make breakfast, but after that, we barricade ourselves in here, yeah?" 

 

He agreed to this plan and they soon snuck into the kitchen. Together, they made breakfast, making quite a mess in the process. Deciding that they didn't want to bother with clean up yet, they left the mess and took their newly improved breakfast back to the bedroom. 

 

River had insisted on a rather odd combination of foods, happily settling back in bed. 

 

"Does that really taste good to you?" He asked, looking at her choice of food. 

 

River nodded, "You should really try some, it's fantastic." 

 

"The last time I tried one of your cravings I burned my mouth because of all the peppers." 

 

"Oh, don't be dramatic. I kissed it better, remember?" She teased. 

 

"I couldn't drink anything hot for days." He countered. 

 

"You were fine." She laughed, rolling her eyes, "Try some of this, it's not hot." He hesitated for a moment before caving and taking a bite. "It's good, right?" She smiled expectantly. 

 

"It's... interesting." He said, trying not to grimace at how sour the combination was. 

 

She frowned slightly, "Why do you say it like that?" 

 

He managed to swallow the bite, quickly going for something blander. "How much lemon did you put in this?" 

 

"Why? Is it too sour?" She took a bite, "I think it tastes alright." 

 

"I think our son likes lemons more than I do." He grinned.

 

Felix shifted low.  _ Bored.   _

 

River winced, "Your son is bored" 

 

“Bored, hmm?" He leaned down to her middle. "Do you want a story?" 

 

"Yes," She translated as Felix wiggled. 

 

"I think we should let mummy choose which one I tell." He hummed. 

 

"I'd like to hear about your favorite date that we went on." River decided. 

 

"Now, how can I possibly choose a favorite?" 

 

"If you can't decide then choose  _ one _ of your favorites." She offered. 

 

He thought about it for a moment before deciding on a time they'd gone to Paris. 

 

"I like this one too." River murmured, taking his hand. He kissed her knuckles and kept her gaze as he retold the story. She smiled. It was amazing how even after all their years of being together, he could still make her insides melt with just a look, though she wouldn't ever admit that. 

 

They talked for hours, though it felt like no time at all—like floating in a timeless bubble. His stories led to more stories, anecdotes, and pleasant conversations. 

 

"What are we going to do when Felix comes?" River asked at some point, "All of our kids have been born in the TARDIS." 

 

"We can still do that if you want," he answered, though had a feeling that Missy's presence changed the circumstances. 

 

"But...Missy's here."

 

"Perhaps we can have her leave for a bit. Have Jack or someone keep an eye on her?" It wasn't a sound suggestion. 

 

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" 

 

He was silent for a moment, then shook his head. "No." Anywhere that Missy wasn't detained was an opportunity for her to go near their children. Even with supervision, he didn't want her in the same dimension as the kids. 

 

"I don't know what we're going to do." She whispered, "The TARDIS has always been the safest place for our children, but with her here..." 

 

"I know." He reached out and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "I know. But Felix is healthy and so are you. There's no reason to expect complications when he comes... we may have to settle for somewhere else." 

 

She tensed, quite obviously not liking the idea, though it was clear that they didn't have any other options. 

 

"We still have some time to think about it," he reminded. 

 

"I know, but it's getting closer. And what if he comes early?" 

 

"Then we'll be ready." He assured. "And he'll be perfect." 

 

She smiled weakly, "You're right, I know you're right." 

 

He took her hand, stroking his thumb over her skin. "The girls keep asking if they can be there." 

 

"I know." She sighed. 

 

"I keep telling them it's not a matter of their age, rather a matter of your privacy." He smiled weakly. "But at least they're excited." 

 

"I'll think about it." She breathed, "But I don't know if I want them to see me like that. I don't want to scare them." 

 

He smiled. "I don't think they'll be scared. They know how giving birth works and they know it's not painless." 

 

She nodded, "It's always only been us, well...and Vastra." 

 

"And Vastra," he echoed. "It's fine to say no, you know--if you can resist their puppy-dog look," he added. "But even so, there's no harm in keeping an open mind to it." 

 

"I think about it." She repeated. 

 

There was a knock. The Doctor glanced in the direction of the door, though didn't get up. "What is it?" 

 

"Are you two ever going to come out of that bedroom or have you barricaded yourselves in?" Missy huffed. 

 

"The latter." The Doctor answered with a slight grin in River's direction. River smiled back.

 

"I honestly don't see how you can find each other  _ that _ entertaining." 

 

"Well, there's this funny little thing I like to call 'being madly in love' and it's a permanent condition." 

 

"It sounds disgusting," Missy muttered. 

 

He rolled his eyes. "Is there something you needed?" 

 

"Well, if you two are going to spend the day going at it like rabbits, does that mean I get the day off? Or will I be forced to bow down and rub her highness' feet once you're finished." 

 

"Neither." He frowned. "You're not a servant but our three-day challenge is still in play." Missy grumbled to herself, on the other side of the door. The Doctor gave his attention back to his wife. "This is our day, isn't it?" 

 

She nodded, touching her forehead to his. "I don't mind staying like this at all." 

 

He grinned. "Neither do I." 

 

Missy left at that point, letting the two get on with what she could only imagine was sex and pillow forts. The couple resumed their conversation. 

 

Some hours later, River had insisted on rubbing her husband’s shoulders and was now making him sit still while she did just that, "See? Doesn't that feel better?" 

 

"Everything feels better when you're involved." He teased. 

 

"Oh stop it." She laughed, kneading the knots in his shoulders. 

 

"Shouldn't I be the one doing this to you?" He hummed. "You've been the one doing all the physical work for the baby for last six months anyway." 

 

"I like making you feel better, my love." She breathed, kissing his shoulder. 

 

"I know." He relaxed. 

 

She moved to kiss his neck, "You're less tense now." 

 

"Well, I have a very capable masseuse."

 

"I'm glad you think so." She hummed. 

 

He let her work his shoulders, having been tenser to start than he would've admitted. She hummed softly as she worked, occasionally pressing kisses to his skin. 

 

Eventually, the Doctor insisted on switching and returning the favor. River relaxed beneath him, closing her eyes. 

 

"We should think about how we're going to test Missy." He murmured. 

 

He felt her tense under his hands like he’d pinched her, "Do we really have to do that today?" 

 

"I suppose there's tomorrow. We've got to do it sometime and I'd rather it be before we leave.” 

 

"Right..." She breathed, "Did you have any ideas?" 

 

"Yeah," he nodded, continuing to work her shoulders. "I think we should do it somewhere isolated. Not a planet she can accidentally destroy, but somewhere that would minimize the damage if it went wrong." 

 

She nodded slowly, "And who's going to go with her?" 

 

He was silent for a moment. "I don't want you to go." 

 

"I don't want you to go either, but one of us needs to." 

 

"I'd rather risk myself than both of you," he whispered. 

 

She shook her head, "I'm not letting you go alone. She'll find a way to take advantage of you." 

 

"But you're six months pregnant, River.” She scowled as he continued, “I know you hate when I use that as an excuse, but it won't just be you in trouble if danger presents itself." 

 

"Then we need to wait until after the baby comes because I don't want you going alone." She stood firm on her point. 

 

"Waiting would be better." He agreed slowly, knowing that it this was probably the only compromise he could get. 

 

"So, conversation over then?" 

 

"Yes," he breathed. "I suppose so." 

 

She fell silent, the air around them thick with tension.  Felix kicked, feeling the unease. River shifted away from the Doctor’s hands, but the movement only had Felix move more, delivering a swift kick downwards. She groaned, grabbing the edge of the bed. 

 

"Riv?" The Doctor frowned with concern. 

 

"I'm fine." She tried to assure. 

 

"Is it the baby?" She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. His tone became more gentle. "Anything I can do?" 

 

"Not unless you can fix the infection and the ligament." She muttered. 

 

Before he could answer there was a knock on the door. 

 

"What?" River snapped, the pain making her rather hostile. 

 

"Oh, is  _ that _ what time it is?" came Missy's sing-song voice. "And here I thought we were being kind to each other." River grit her teeth but said nothing. "Look," Missy continued, more serious now. "I wasn't planning on bothering you again today but I happened to stumble upon some information that I thought might be useful to you." 

 

"What is it?" 

 

"It's to do with your little ligament problem." 

 

"And?" 

 

"It’s solution." Missy grinned, at which point the Doctor rose and opened the door just a crack. "Are you two decent or should I come back later?" 

 

"We're decent." He muttered. "What do you mean you found a solution?" 

 

"I mean I found an answer to your problem." She smiled through the crack in the door. 

 

The Doctor skeptically opened the door further. "I doubt you've found something that I haven't thought of." 

 

Missy waltzed in, "So this is what your bedroom looks like." 

 

"We haven't rearranged it since the last time you were here." He crossed his arms, moving to stand by River who was a bit flushed from the pain. 

 

"Yes, but I wasn't paying much attention last time." 

 

"Right," he sighed. "What did you find?" 

 

"Here" she handed over a paper. 

 

He took it and read it over carefully. "I'm not so sure about this…” 

 

"What?" River asked. 

 

"I don't like the risks." The Doctor passed the paper over to his wife. It was an outline for a new neural bypass device for River that incorporated nanotechnology to simultaneously do its original job and get rid of the infection while stopping future complications. The problem was that this new device would essentially hack River's immune system, which was the part the Doctor was unsure of. 

 

Missy's smirk turned sour. "After all my hard work you're not even going to try?" 

 

"There's too much risk involved.” River huffed. “It'll solve one problem, but if I lose control of my immune system then it could cause more problems than good." 

 

"The risk is less than 10%. Is that really so much?" 

 

River glanced at her husband. 

 

"I don't like it," he sighed. "But... I'd be willing to build it with you. Whether it'll be used is unlikely." 

 

"Well, I don't want to waste my time if you're not going to use it." 

 

"It's my only offer. Build a module or scrap the whole thing--because I don't care how low the risk is. If there's even a slim chance that damage like that could be done to my wife, I'm not risking it." 

 

River winced as Felix shifted low, reaching for the Doctor's hand. Missy wore a frown to match the Doctor's, finally hissing out, "Fine. Let's build it. You'll change your mind when you see how brilliant I am." 

 

"Fine, then." River breathed.

 

"You can start gathering materials," the Doctor added, wanting MIssy to leave now. 

 

"And how am I supposed to do that when I can't get your ship to cooperate?" She crossed her arms. 

 

"By asking nicely," he said shortly. River let slip something like a growl, still in pain.

 

"You've got to be exaggerating that." Missy rolled her eyes. 

 

"Shut up, Missy." River hissed. 

 

"Would you please give up some privacy?" The Doctor asked.

 

"Fine. You two are boring to watch anyway." She rolled her eyes and left.


	74. Pillars of Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Send her back where?"
> 
> "To the Executioners. I can't lose—" He stopped when his voice wavered.
> 
> "I know." She nodded, wrapping her arms around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, I really like writing angry!twelve. Enjoy!

**Ch 74**

 

With the door shut and Missy gone, the Doctor turned his attention back to his wife. "Are you alright?"

 

River shook her head no.  

 

"What can I do?" He whispered.

 

"I don't know." She closed her eyes, much too focused on the pain to think clearly.

 

"Lie down." He urged gently. "That's it." He hoped his tone was at least a bit soothing. "Breathe and just focus on me."

 

She nodded, watching his face as she did what he said. He took her hands stroking the back of them and started to hum.

 

"Maybe trying Missy's idea would be worth it." River breathed.

 

He nodded slowly. "It'd be better than seeing you in so much pain if it worked. But I want to oversee everything. I might be able to adjust some things and make it safer."

 

"Okay." She smiled weakly, "That makes me feel better."

 

"We'll see how it goes. I don't want to make any promises." The Doctor kissed her knuckles, keeping her hand in his.

 

"I'm sorry." She murmured softly.

 

"Why? None of this is your fault."

 

"It feels like it is."

 

He squeezed her hand. "I wish there was something I could do about that."

 

They were quiet for a moment until River said, "I miss the kids."

 

"Me too. It's hard to be away from them." The Doctor agreed, glad that these three days would only be an hour or so for the kids and they wouldn't notice. "We'll go back tomorrow, have a family dinner night."

 

"That'd be nice." She nodded, "When do you have to go back to work?"

 

"Tuesday. I told them I'd have names if I had to deal with freshman orientation."

 

She laughed softly, "You'd probably scare all those poor freshmen."

 

"Luckily, mine is an upperclassmen course."

 

"Only the upperclassmen can handle the eyebrows." She teased.

 

"It's the eyebrows, is it?"

 

"The eyebrows and the grumpiness."

 

"Well, you seem to have an expert handle on both of these things."

 

"You think I'm an expert?" She smiled.

 

He tapped her nose. "Absolutely."

 

She scrunched her nose, "Well I'm glad you think so. And you'll be happy to hear that I've decided to teach only one class this semester."  

 

"Actually, I'm surprised you listened to me and slowed down a bit. When does it meet?"

 

"Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, 10 to 12:30." She murmured.

 

"Well, remember to take it easy. We're both going to have most of the semester on leave anyway."

 

She nodded, "I know. I've been working with Luna and my class is only going to be for a few weeks, then the students will have their final right before I go on leave."

 

"Only a few weeks? That would explain why you're meeting three times a week."

 

She hummed, "I didn't want some TA coming in and trying to teach my lessons."

 

"You're allowed to dictate how they're trained you know." He pointed out.

 

"I know, but it's still not the same."

 

He smiled softly. "You're irreplaceable."

 

She laughed, "Glad you think so."

 

"That's a fact, my love." He insisted. "And Luna knows it. So do I."

 

She smiled, "I like that the eyebrows have a sentimental side."

 

"Only for you, dear."  

 

“I must be special."

 

" _Very_ special," he agreed.

 

They sat there for a while longer until Missy came back and insisted that she should receive help getting the rest of the materials from the "grudge-holding, broken blue box."

 

"Fine, we'll help." River grumbled, "What do you need?"

 

"Mostly the actual nanobots. I've got just about everything else."

 

River glanced hesitantly at the Doctor. "I'll help her out," he offered slightly unsure. "They should be easy to find." He gave her a quick kiss, much to Missy's distaste, before rising and leaving to go help.

 

"Did you really have to do that in front of me?" Missy muttered as they walked through the hall.

 

"I didn't realize kissing my wife was such a traumatic thing to whiteness." He rolled his eyes.

 

"Well, I'd rather be spared from having to view you sink to her perpetual humanistic reproductive instincts." She scowled.

 

"Need I remind you that humans also use kissing as an expression of affection—not just an initiation to procreate," he sighed. "And what I "sink to" doing is _my_ conscious choice and isn't really your concern."

 

“I don't understand why you feel the need to give her constant 'affection.' It's _all_ you two seem to do."

 

"At this rate, you never will understand what love is," he said under his breath.

 

Missy glared at him but didn't speak. They continued in silence until they reached the mebday. "Alright, show me what you've got so far."

 

She brought him over to the exam table where all the bits and bobs were laid out. He looked it all over. "Grab some more neural-wire. I'll get your nanobots."

 

Missy nodded, getting the wires for him. The TARDIS, of course, left the nanobots in an easy to find place for the Doctor and made the neural-wire more difficult to find. Missy's mood had soured when she finally returned, practically throwing the wire at him.

 

"Look, I know it's frustrating when you're on her bad side," he tried patiently, "but you've had centuries to try to make nice with my ship and from the looks of it, you haven't tried very hard."

 

"Well, what do you want me to do? I've stopped destroying the rooms, isn't that enough?"

 

He paused for a moment. "If humans show care through kissing, how do you think you might show care for a time machine?"

 

"I'm not going to snog your machine if that's what you're trying to get at."

 

"No that's not what I—look, if you think not being an arse all there is to winning over someone's trust, then you've got a lot to improve on."

 

"Are you going to actually help me or are you just going to insult me?" She frowned.

 

"I am helping. You need to understand and respect my ship in order for her to help you." She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "It takes time." He added. "And patience."

 

"Well, hopefully, I won't be sticking around here too much longer.”

 

"Actually, River and I have decided that your test will have to wait until after the baby is born."

 

"What?!" Missy growled, eyes narrowing.  

 

"We both want to be there, Missy, and that means waiting."

 

"But that's not fair to me!" She snapped, "I have to stay in captivity because of her and your stupid offspring?!"

 

"I'm not going to risk my family more than necessary for you. I didn't think I had to explain that one." He frowned.

 

Her jaw tightened. She knew there would be no changing his mind, but perhaps she could find a way to speed up the baby's delivery date, though she couldn't let the Doctor know she was involved.

 

"I'll let you get to work." He muttered. “Just the shell tonight. I want to oversee the rest.”

 

She nodded, waiting until he left before adjusting her plans.

 

Missy wasn't seen until the next morning when she brought the fully put together device to the two other Time Lords.

 

The Doctor seemed a bit surprised at how fast she'd put it together. "I thought I made it clear that I wanted to oversee when you made this."

 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I take it apart and start over and prolong the amount of time your wife is in pain?" She bit back sarcastically.  

 

"No..." he said slowly. "But I'd like to do tests on it first."

 

"Fine." She thrust the device into his hands.

 

He glanced at River with a mix of hope and uncertainty. River looked a bit wary. "Well, thank you for this." He murmured to Missy. "If everything checks out well have it in before we leave today."

 

Missy nodded, turning to leave. He offered a smile to River before also leaving to run the tests.

 

It was lunch when the Doctor went to find Missy, looking rather cross.

 

"What do you want?" Missy asked, looking up.

 

"You know exactly why I'm here." He tossed a piece of paper at her which had the diagnostics on it.

 

She raised an eyebrow, "I don't know what you're talking about."

 

"Look. At. It." He hissed.

 

She looked at the paper, hardly glancing at it, "I don't see anything wrong."

 

"Don't play that shit with me, Missy." He seethed. "This is _exactly_ the kind of technology you gave Kovarian to speed up River's pregnancy before."

 

She pursed her lips, "Well, _I_ didn't put it there."

 

"Oh, so it just magically appeared when you were building it last night, hm?"

 

She shrugged, "Maybe you're the one that tampered with it."

 

"This isn't a fucking joke, Missy. This is my child's _life_. This is what landed you on the Executioners' planet and why no one around here trusts you!" His voice was getting louder as he spoke. "Do you think I enjoy keeping you here? Do you think I want to wait for your test because it's fun?"

 

"That technology won’t bring any harm to your child. It would have simply sped up the process. I know of things that are a _lot_ more harmful," she hissed. "You promised me I'd only have to wait three days."

 

"I don't care if it's less harmful, you know _exactly_ how I feel about this! And I promised I'd _think_ about your test, nothing more. If you didn't like my decision there's this little thing call communication! With words! Like a normal fucking person!"

 

Although she looked slightly remorseful, Missy looked more annoyed at the conversation than anything, "Are you going to tell _her_?"

 

"Of course I'm going to sodding tell her," he glared.

 

"And what good is telling her going to do other than worry her?" She pressed.

 

He hardly batted an eye. "Better than the worry of finding out I've been keeping a secret. Trust me, I've been down that road before and it's much worse."

 

Missy frowned, knowing it would be much harder to win back River's trust now. She still had a plan in mind. The Doctor finding out about the device wasn't disastrous, it only meant she had to be more careful.

 

"You never think things through." He took the paper back and turned to leave, finding River and swallowing the hot lump in his throat.

 

"Please tell me you have some good news." River smiled hopefully as her husband entered their room.

 

He had trouble finding his voice, approaching the bed slowly.

 

"What's wrong?" Her smile began to fade.

 

He handed her the paper as he sat on the edge of the bed next to her. She looked at it, her face paling almost immediately.

 

"I think we need to leave." He whispered after a moment. She nodded, completely silent.

 

He stood and went to the dresser to retrieve the vortex manipulator. River didn't move, still looking over the paper. He came back over and offered a hand. River put the paper aside finally, taking his hand.

 

Without a word, they vanished from the TARDIS and rematerialized in the house. Telly could be heard downstairs along with the sound of one of the cats racing up the stairs. River still hadn't said anything, her hands clenched into fists.

 

"We've got to send her back." He said after a long moment.

 

"Send her back where?"

 

"To the Executioners. I can't lose—" He stopped when his voice wavered.

 

"I know." She nodded, wrapping her arms around him.

 

He pressed his face into her shoulder. "I thought I could change her."

 

"I know you did." She whispered, rubbing his back, "But some people just aren't capable of change."

 

"Sometime in the future, I stop her execution in the past. Why? If she tried to do this, then why did I save her?"

 

"I don't know." She breathed, "Maybe...maybe you need to give her more time."

 

"Her thousand years are almost up and this is where we are." He breathed. "I don't know if I can take that risk. Not with you and the kids."

 

She held him tighter, pressing a kiss to his temple to try and comfort him.

 

"Mum?" Amelia called.

 

"I should make dinner." He whispered.

 

"I can help." River offered.

 

There was a knock on the door, Amelia calling again. "Mum?"

 

River went to open the door, smiling at her daughter. Amelia smiled back, almost eye-level with her mother in height. She was covered in flour and a bit of tomato sauce. "I heard the vortex manipulator, I wanted to see if you were back."

 

"Have you been cooking?" River asked, surprised.

 

"Terra wanted pizza and I know you don't like it when we order takeaway without you."

 

"Thank you." River smiled, brushing some of the flour off of Amelia's shoulder. "That was very sweet of you."

 

"You were gone longer than you said." Amelia murmured. "Why have you changed clothes?"

 

"The TARDIS was cold so we put warmer clothes on." River lied, "We didn't mean to be gone for very long."

 

"I know. I was just a bit worried..." Amelia often was concerned about her parents, though this wasn't new. "But, um, yeah. Pizza'll be ready soon."

 

River hugged her daughter, finding comfort in the action, "Thank you."

 

Amelia was surprised for a moment before relaxing into the hug. "Terra's been asking for you. Will you come down soon?"

 

"I'll go down now." She nodded, turning for the door.

 

Amelia glanced back at the Doctor.

 

He tried to smile. "I'll be down in a minute."


	75. The Top Shelf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was silent for a moment. "I could return Missy to the Executioners."
> 
> River met his eyes. "But you made a promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

**Ch 75**

 

River and Amelia headed downstairs, River going to find her youngest daughter. 

 

Terra sat in front of the telly with Freya and Arthur, one of the cats curled up next to her. River tapped her shoulder to get her attention. She turned around, quickly smiling. "[Mummy!]" 

 

"[Hello, my love.]" River smiled, kissing her forehead. 

 

"[Mia made pizza.]"

 

"[I know! You're so lucky to have such a nice big sister.]" 

 

"[She let me put extra cheese on half.]" 

 

"[I hope you said thank you to her.]" 

 

Terra nodded a confirmation. "[Can we eat now?]" 

 

"[Not yet, the pizza is still cooking, but Amelia says it will be ready soon.]" She assured, just as the doorbell rang.  

 

Arthur and Freya both looked at their mother. "Are you expecting someone?" Freya asked. 

 

River shook her head, getting up to answer the door. Terra looked confused and the Doctor came downstairs, asking the same question. "Are you expecting someone River?"

 

There was a package on the stoop addressed to River. The Doctor looked over her shoulder. "River, I really don't like the looks of this." 

 

"It says it's from Jack." She murmured, picking up the box and walking to the living room with it.

 

"Jack doesn't send us mail unless he's there to see our faces when we open it." He glanced around, closing the front door and joining her. "And if they rung the bell, isn't someone supposed to be waiting here for us to sign something?" 

 

"Do you want to open it?" River asked, holding out the box to him.  

 

He nodded slowly, putting it on the table to open it. He knew he might be being a bit paranoid, but risk or not he'd rather be safe. Inside the box, there was a typed note:  _ Some gifts for Jack Junior from his favorite Uncle.  _ The box was filled with clothes for the baby and at the bottom was a tin of River's favorite tea with another note:  _ For Mum Only.  _

 

The Doctor relaxed some but still felt something nagging him in the back of his head. "I'm going to call Jack." 

 

River's eyes were bright at the contents of the box, "Okay." 

 

He handed her the box, went passed the mildly confused children, and dialed Jack with the kitchen phone. No one answered, which wasn't terribly uncommon if Jack was busy. The Doctor frowned and tried his mobile instead of the Hub's phone. 

 

Jack picked up this time, "Can't really talk now, Doc. I'm kinda in the middle of something." It sounded like there was a struggle on his end of the line. 

 

"I'll make it quick." The Doctor insisted. It wasn't unusual for Jack to be dealing with a case. "Did you send River a package lately? One with baby clothes and tea?" 

 

"What? Sorry, you're breaking up." Jack's voice sounded more distant like he was getting further away from the phone. 

 

"A package." He repeated impatiently. "Did you send one to my house or not?" 

 

"Yeah, yeah sure!" Jack answered, still not quite hearing him and misunderstanding the question.  

 

The Doctor was getting frustrated, not accepting this as a solid answer. "Jack, who are you even fighting right now?" 

 

"A Gorwhip is loose in Kensington Park and I'm trying to take care of it before anyone finds out." 

 

He sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get a straight answer until that was dealt with. "Just— _ please _ call me back as soon as you're done, alright?" 

 

"Right, got it! See you soon!"

 

Pinching his nose, the Doctor hung up the phone. He went back into the living room where River was sitting out all the clothes, sitting next to her. "No answer. I'm going to call him back." 

 

"Look at this." River was beaming, showing him a little onesie with turtles all over it. She seemed so much happier than she had been just twenty minutes before, her day brightened by the gift. 

 

He smiled weakly. The other children were also sifting through the new clothes with River, similarly amused by the cute patterns. 

 

"River...?" 

 

"Hmm?" She glanced at him, eyes bright. 

 

"I know this sounds overprotective..." he paused trying to phrase it gently, "But would you mind not drinking the tea until I get back to Jack?”  

 

Her face fell slightly, "Oh...okay." 

 

"I'm sure it's fine, I'd just really like to make sure." 

 

She nodded, her excitement quickly dimming. Terra waved to get her mother's attention. She held up a onesie with foxes on it. "[I like this one!]" 

 

"[Me too.]" River smiled softly, starting to place the things back into the box. 

 

"[Is it really going to be this small?]" Terra asked, looking over the small clothes. 

 

River nodded, "[He is, but he'll get bigger quickly.]" 

 

"[When do babies know how to walk?]" 

 

"[They learn when they're about a year old.]" River explained, closing up the box and holding it out for her husband, "Do you want to put this in confinement until you've determined it's safety." There was a certain edge to her tone, hormones getting the better of her. 

 

"It's just the tea that I'm worried about... but sure." He frowned, trying not to take it personally. 

 

The pizza timer went off and River got up without another word. The children followed to the kitchen, sitting down for dinner. 

 

"Mum, what were you and dad talking about?" Freya asked. "What's wrong with your tea?" 

 

"I don't know. He read something about tea being bad for unborn babies." She lied, "He wants to run some tests and make sure this is okay." 

 

"But you had tea with Terra and Arthur..." she recalled. "I guess he's feeling overprotective." 

 

"I agree." 

 

The children dug into the pizza without much more thought about the tea, chatting about the upcoming school year which was to start on Monday.  

 

It wasn't until much later when the kids were going to bed that Jack called back. The Doctor was quick to pick up the phone, still on edge from before. "Jack?" 

 

"Hey, Doc!" Jack sounded much cheerier. 

 

"Finally," he muttered. "Did you send River a package?" 

 

"Of course! I guess you got it then?" 

 

"Yes." He frowned. "What did you put in it? Don't ask me why I'm asking that, just answer:  _ everything _ you put in the box." 

 

"Ummm, clothes? And tea. That's about it." 

 

"...Right," he sighed. "Er, thanks." He hung up the phone quickly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was glad the box checked out, but he owed River an apology for overreacting. 

 

The Doctor found River putting the kids to bed, reading Arthur a story in his room. He watched for a minute, listening to River's voice with the same infatuation their son had and letting sound soothe him. Not wanting to interrupt Arthur's bedtime, he slinked away from the doorway, going to prepare his apology. 

 

It wasn’t long before River was entering their room, looking quite tired. Tiber was resting on the bed, but the Doctor wasn't in sight. River sat down on the bed, putting her head in her tiredly in her hands. 

 

The Doctor came in a few minutes later. "You look tired." 

 

"I'm fine." She muttered.  

 

He closed the distance between them, walking over to be in front of her. "...Jack called back.” 

 

"What did he say?" She finally looked up at him.  

 

"That you were right and I was wrong," he smiled weakly. "Which is good, but... I'm sorry for acting like you couldn't enjoy the gifts. I've put all of Felix's new clothes in the nursery." 

 

"I understand why you were hesitant." She murmured, not admitting that it was sometimes frustrating to always be on guard. 

 

"I know." He carefully sat down next to her. "But that doesn't make it less unfair to you." 

 

"It's fine." She repeated. 

 

He knew that it wasn't—not with Missy still looming over their shoulders and the terrifying possibilities she brought. "Can I do anything?" 

 

"What is there to do?" She sighed. She couldn't think of much that her husband could do that would solve any of their problems. As much as she tried to hide her stress from him, there were moments like this that still made it evident. 

 

He was silent for a moment. "I could return Missy to the Executioners." 

 

River met his eyes. "But you made a promise." 

 

"And that promise had a time limit that's almost up," he reminded. "As much work as we've put into her, what she pulled today is not something I'm going to forgive easily…. I think we need to take her back in the morning," he whispered. 

 

"You're okay with that?" 

 

He didn’t say anything for a moment. "She's too dangerous... I can't let anyone else get hurt because I failed with her." 

 

“You didn’t fail.” She murmured. 

 

"I didn't get her to stopping thinking like a villain." He looked over at her. "What would you call it?" 

 

“The whole point was to teach her how to be good, and that’s exactly what you did it. It’s not your fault that she can’t learn.” 

 

He nodded wordlessly and reached for her hand. 

 

“You did your best.” She squeezed his hand. 

 

"I suppose… But it doesn't matter at this point. Tomorrow, we'll close that chapter for good." 

 

"Good. That's relieving to hear." She admitted.  

 

"And in the meantime, we have a new one to get ready for." He offered a small smile, wanting to change the subject. 

 

She smiled weakly, "Speaking of which, we need to finish the nursery." 

 

"There's not much missing. We've got the cot, clothes, books..." he listed. 

 

"Yes, but I do want to decorate it a bit more before he comes." 

 

"Pictures?" 

 

She nodded. 

 

"I that'll be a wonderful project to start tomorrow." 

 

"After we bring Missy back?" 

 

"After we bring Missy back,” he echoed. 

  
  


In the morning, Terra clambered onto her parents’ bed with two of the cats. 

 

"Mmmm… Sweetie..." River groaned, thinking it was her husband shaking the bed. 

 

Terra scooted right up to her face as Samantha tried to walk over her. River opened her eyes, startled by the sight of her daughter so close to her. "[Hi Mummy!]" Terra grinned. 

 

"[Good morning, my love.]" She smiled back. 

 

"[I want pancakes,]" she signed. 

 

"[Okay, we'll make pancakes in a bit. Why don't you stay and cuddle with us for now.]" 

 

She nodded, curling up to River. River wrapped her arms around her, kissing her head. "[Can I bring my brother for show and tell when he comes out?]" 

"[I don't know. We'll think about it.]" 

 

"[Lucy told me she was going to bring her new dog when we got back.]" 

 

"[Are you sure? Most schools don't let dogs come in for show and tell.]" 

 

"[She said that her dad would come in so he could take her dog home after she was done.]" 

 

"[I see. Well we can talk about it more once the baby actually comes.]" 

 

"[When is he coming?]"  

 

"[In a month and a half.]" 

 

"[Is that before Halloween? You'll still let us go trick-or-treating with Uncle Jack, right?]"

 

"[It is before Halloween but you can go with Uncle Jack.]" 

 

"[Will the baby come too? Does he get a costume?]" 

 

“[He can come too, but he might be too small for a costume.]” 

 

"[I think he should wear a costume,]" Terra yawned. 

 

"[Oh, do you have any costume ideas?]" 

 

"[We should dress him up like a little Dalek.]" 

 

River smiled softly, "[That's a good idea.]"  

 

"[I don't have to share my candy, do I?]" 

 

“[No, Felix will be too little for candy.]” 

 

Terra relaxed as the Doctor stirred.  River kissed Terra’s forehead, shifting to look at the Doctor. 

 

He smiled sleepily. "Look who's joined us." 

 

“[She was telling me that she thinks we should dress Felix up as a Dalek for Halloween.]” River signed.

 

He laughed softly. "[Cute and scary, hm?]" River hummed and Terra giggled. "[What do you want to be, Terra?]" He asked. 

 

“[I want to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex!]” 

 

He grinned. "[Does my little T-Rex want a big breakfast?]" 

 

Terra nodded vigorously, “[I wanna have pancakes!]” 

 

"[I think we can do that.]" 

 

Terra beamed, wiggling out of her mother’s arms. The Doctor looked at River as Terra raced downstairs. "I'm forgetting something." 

 

River raised an eyebrow, "Forgetting what?" 

 

He leaned over and kissed her for a long moment. "My good morning kiss." 

 

She smiled softly, "Oh, right. How could you forget such a thing." 

 

“I’m getting old.” He hummed.  

 

"Oh, stop it." She murmured, "I think you need another kiss." 

 

He smiled and took the offer willingly, pressing his forehead against hers when they pulled away. "Love you." 

 

"Love you too." She smiled.  

 

When they finally headed downstairs, Terra had pulled out ingredients from the shelves and was searching for the measuring cups. River smiled, "I guess she knows what she's doing." 

 

Terra looked up, spotting her parents. "[I can't reach the cups.]" 

 

"[I'll get them.]" River went over to help her. 

 

Arthur came downstairs while they were cooking, followed by Tiber. By that time, the food was nearly finished. Terra directed her brother to the table. 

 

"[It's the last real day of summer and you're being nice to me?]" Arthur looked skeptically at his sister. 

 

"[Yes, because today has to be the best day ever.]" 

 

"[It's not like you're never gonna get another summer.]" He pointed out.  

 

"[So? We won't get summer for a whole year!]" 

 

"[Nine months,]" he corrected. "[And we get winter holiday.]" 

 

"[But nine months is so long! And winter holiday is not the same as summer holiday.]" 

 

He nodded in agreement. "[But it's got sledding and ice skating.]" 

 

River walked in with a plate of finished pancakes before Terra could respond. She sat down at the table with her brother. 

 

"Should we wake the twins?" The Doctor asked. 

 

“No, no. Let them sleep in while they still can.” River dismissed.

 

After breakfast, Terra and Arthur ran off before they could be asked to stay and help wash up. 

 

"What time did you want to go do that...thing?" River asked.  

 

"Soon," he replied quietly. "I want to get it done with. I don't want the kids to know we've left. We should only be gone a minute for them." 

 

She hesitated, "But what if something happens and we're gone for longer? I don't want to scare them."  

 

"Right..." He frowned. "What do you suggest?" 

 

"We can tell them that we're going to run to that store that they hate on Yago. I want to call Vastra and tell her what's going on." 

 

The Doctor nodded at both of these ideas, not sure if he was ready for the mental energy this process would take. "I'm going to see if the twins are up. Would you mind calling her?" 

 

"Sure." River nodded, going to the phone and dialing the number. 


	76. Human Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A bloody spaceship." He growled, stepping out into the new environment. "An empty bloody space—a mostly empty bloody spaceship." He corrected, spotting a bewildered blue humanoid. 
> 
> "Who are you?" The blue man shouted, heading towards them.
> 
> Missy peered out over the Doctor's shoulder. "Glad you asked. I'm Doctor Who and these are my disposables."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter today. Now the fun bit begins by which I mean fun for me to write, horrible for the characters to go through. Again, if you haven't seen season 10 yet, this will contain MAJOR SPOILERS for that. Otherwise, enjoy :)

**Ch 76**

 

As Vastra and River talked, the Doctor made another round of breakfast for the twins. Vastra seemed to have endless questions since this was the first time she was hearing about Missy's reappearance—Nardole had been the only other person to know what was going on until now.

River answered all of Vastra's questions as best she could. "I can't believe I agreed to it either." She muttered.

 

"I wish you had told me," Vastra sighed. "I know this is a very personal matter, but I feel I could've helped."

 

"It's okay. We made it this far. Now, all we have to do is bring her back and it'll be done with."

 

"I knew you seemed more stressed than normal, but if I had known this was the reason, I wouldn't have dismissed it as anxiety about your newest child. If there is something I can do, please don't hesitate to ask."

 

"Of course. Thank you."

 

"You must let me make dinner for your family soon. You'll tell the Doctor?"

 

"Yes, I will. I'll call you later and we can set something up."

 

Vastra agreed to this, bidding her goodbye. River hung up going to find her husband.

 

He was sitting with the girls at the kitchen table with the eldest children. Freya turned to her mother when she came in. "Dad said you're going to Yago?"

 

"Yes, we have some errands to run."

 

"How long will that take? I want to go somewhere today and we haven't got to use the TARDIS in ages."

 

"Not too long. An hour at most." River assured.

 

"And then can we go out?" She asked hopefully.

 

"Sure. If you want to."

 

Freya turned to her father who nodded and agreed. He'd feel safe letting the kids back in the TARDIS with Missy gone.

 

"Should we go?" River asked.

 

"Yes." He rose, glancing at his daughters. "Look after your siblings for a bit, yeah? We'll be back soon.

 

The Doctor took a breath, approaching River. "Well, let's get this over with," he whispered.

 

They went upstairs and retrieved the vortex manipulator, heading to the TARDIS.

 

Once again, the ship seemed shut down and cold as the TARDIS was used to only turning on the power in rooms with occupants.

 

River frowned, nudging her husband to lead the way. He glanced at her, stepping towards the hall. They didn't have to wander, finding Missy's room quickly.

 

River knocked on the door.

 

"What is it...?" Missy's voice was dull, the door remaining shut.

 

"Open the door." She crossed her arms.

 

"Why? I'm fairly certain that's not going to end well for me."

 

"Open the door," River repeated, sterner this time.

 

The door opened on cue, the TARDIS helping out. Missy scowled at the door. "Fat load of good you are, stupid ship."

 

"We're taking you back." River stepped into the room.

 

Missy looked at her nails. "Back to Tailyyun? They had delightful spa service."

 

"Back to the Executioner's planet."

 

"Well, well. I was right about opening that door—no shock for anyone there."

 

River rolled her eyes, turning to go back to the console room. The Doctor made Missy follow as well, the latter falling silent.

 

River didn't waste any time punching in the coordinates.

 

"Not even going to offer me a last meal?" Missy lowered herself into the jump seat. “How rude."

 

"Unfortunately I'm not feeling too generous after what you tried to pull." River muttered.

 

"I was trying to _help_." She insisted. "It's not my fault you're ungrateful."

 

"How is what you were trying to do helpful?!" River shouted.

 

“My my, someone’s moody today.” Missy ruffled her shoulders. “You’re so touchy about that little... thing you’re growing it seemed you’d be happier with it born rather than it leaching off you for another however long. I was only speeding things up, it wouldn’t have hurt anyone.”

 

River's jaw tightened, not answering Missy's ridiculous remarks and piloting them to their destination.

 

The Doctor moved to open the doors when they landed. "Look, Missy, what you did crossed a very personal line. River and I aren't going to wait around for you to understand why—you aren't our responsibility or our priority. We've given you more than enough chances to learn but since you haven't: welcome back to where you-" He swung the doors open, his eyes instantly widening. "...started."

 

"Doctor?Is something wrong?" River frowned, waking up beside him. It took no time at all for her expression to match his. She ran back to check the coordinates she put in. The screen read the coordinates of the Executioners' planet, though the screen was glitching.

 

"What's the matter?" Missy said with poorly hidden amusement.

 

"What did you do?" River hissed.

 

"For once, I haven't clue. Ooh, that's something new, isn't it."

 

"You're lying." River snapped at her, "Tell me what you did!"

 

“Oh, what’s that outside?" She stood, glancing in the direction of the door.

 

"That isn't funny, Missy." The Doctor hissed.

 

"Speak for yourself, I'm having fun." She grinned.

 

He scowled. "Care to share where the hell we are, then?"

 

"I don't know where we are." She smirked, "You tell me."

 

"A bloody spaceship." He growled, stepping out into the new environment. "An _empty_ bloody space—a _mostly_ empty bloody spaceship." He corrected, spotting a bewildered blue humanoid.  

 

"Who are you?" The blue man shouted, heading towards them.

 

Missy peered out over the Doctor's shoulder. "Glad you asked. I'm Doctor Who and these are my disposables."

 

"Excuse me?" River glared at her.  

 

"Was that too forward? What does Eyebrows here call you, a companion? Pet? Snack?"  

 

"We're not going to play your games." River snapped at her, "We're leaving."

 

Just then, an alarm started blaring and with it, the TARDIS started to dematerialize.

 

River jumped, "What's going on?"

 

"The HADS is kicking in—something's wrong with the environment, she's panicking," the Doctor said quickly, running for the ship and trying to key open the door before it could disappear. River was on his heels, hearts pounding.

 

The key dropped to the floor as the lock around it dematerialized completely without any of the Timelords abord.

 

"Please tell me you have the vortex manipulator on you." River whispered.

 

The Doctor quickly patted his pockets, his face only paling. He’s sworn he put it in his pocket earlier. River turned on Missy, eyes blazing.

 

Missy, was looking up at the ceiling, not looking at the devastated couple. River followed her gaze, looking up. "I suppose we know why your box skipped bail," Missy murmured, then turned to River with bright eyes. "This would be _perfect_ for my test."

 

"Absolutely not!" River shouted.

 

"Will one of you please tell me what the hell is going on and how you got here?" The humanoid demanded.

 

"We're not explaining anything until you tell us where we are." River turned on him, her anger all but being dumped on the stranger.

 

"MND. Colony Ship: 74988RX2." He said begrudgingly. "Are any of you humans?"

 

"A colony ship." The Doctor muttered, eyes on the ceiling. He didn't seem to have heard the question. "Transversing away from a black hole."

 

"Are any of you human?!" The blue man was getting more frantic now.

 

The Doctor finally looked at him, stealing a glance towards River. "Why is that important?"

 

"Because! It's for your own safety." He stated urgently.

 

The Doctor moved closer to River protectively, not liking the panic that was rising in the other man's voice. "None of us are... _fully_ human."

 

"They can detect human life forms—any trace. Which one of you is human? Is it you?" He turned to Missy.

 

"Oh, don't be a bitch." She rolled her eyes. "It's that one over there," she pointed to River, "The mutt."

 

River's eyes grew wide, "Missy!"

 

"He's frightened and he's got a gun in his belt. I wouldn't want him to do something stupid and get all cross and point it at me—you're already trying to get me executed. Is this the emotion you humans call spanking?"

 

The blue man turned on River and the Doctor, already going for his belt where the said gun was holstered.

 

The Doctor put his hands up. "Woah, hey, look at me. Please listen, this isn't necessary."

 

"They're going to come if we don't get rid of the human."

 

"Who's going to come?" He was completely in front of River now.

 

"Th-Things. I don't know where they came from, but she has to go."

 

It was at this point that the Doctor noticed the elevator shafts and the dial above them indicated that something was coming up to this floor very quickly. "Believe us, we'd love to leave as soon as possible, preferably alive and in one piece."

 

The man noticed it too, "They're coming. I'm sorry, but she's the reason they're coming." He pulled his blaster out.

 

"Put it down." The Doctor's voice was growing more serious. "That is my pregnant wife you're pointing that gun at, put it down _now_."

 

The elevator was drawing closer to their level, slowing in pace but still approaching. The man wasn’t backing down.

 

"Please, I need you to trust me. You don't know it yet, but in a short time, you'll trust me with your life." The Doctor said, slower this time. "She's not Doctor Who," he gestured to Missy, "I am. And I will save you from whatever is coming if you please put down the gun."

 

As soon as he finished speaking, the lifts arrived. The doors opened to reveal four creatures that looked something like humanoid hospital patients. Their faces were completely obscured with white cloths and they leaned on IV poles. Two of them had what appeared to be oxygen tanks and they all wore wrinkled white gowns. Immediately, they surged forwards.

 

River jumped back, but there was nowhere to run.

 

"Give it here!" Missy grabbed the gun from the blue man's hand and shot two massive holes in the chest of one of the creatures. It fell back, though the rest pressed forward unaffected and highly focused on River.

 

One of them grabbed River's arm, pulling her with blind force towards the lift. River shouted and tried hitting it, looking for a weak spot. The thing didn't seem to notice her struggling, pulling her along easily like she was as light as a bag.

 

"Missy!" The Doctor shouted.

 

"On it!" She started firing directly at the creature holding River.

 

River managed to get as far away as she could once the creature was down. Missy didn't stop shooting until the only ones standing were not covered in strange hospital clothes. "So, did I pass?"

 

"No! You did not pass! We're still stuck here! And even if you got us off this ship, it's your fault we ended up here in the first place." River went off on her, out of breath and frankly, shell-shocked.

 

"So I'd come out even." Missy pointed out. "Look, the only way we're getting out of here is by working together and stopping whatever made HADS go off. I take it that it's the black hole looming over our shoulder." She cocked a brow. "Look at that, we're going to end up saving the ship anyways."

 

River tightened her jaw, hands clenched into fists, shaking with anger.

 

"Tell you what, I promise not to kill anyone except those monster things and you agree to let me help, alright?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Right, so biiiiiig ship--typical of a colony ship, traversing away from a black hole with _one_ captain." She turned to the blue man, then glanced at the console screens and nearly grinned. "Not one captain. All those screens have been angled to a single viewpoint. It's not the original formation—So!" she clapped her hands together. "What happened to the others?"

 

"Those creatures arrived and they began taking all the humans away. They didn't want me." The blue man spoke up.

 

"And you're not human," Missy added. "Is this the part where I ask his name? Why not— name?"

 

River looked hesitant to her husband as Missy interacted with the man. “I don’t trust her.”

 

"She's doing everything I would..." the Doctor said, though his tone matched hers. Maybe Missy really did want to be tested and had been sick of waiting, though he badly wished that she'd found a different way to express that. "Look Riv, we need to focus on making sure you're safe first. You're a big target right now and if there's more of those things, I don't think it'll end well. We need to build a bio-dampener."

 

“I agree.” She was trying to hide her concern, “We’ve been so careful. I don’t want this to be a repeat of what happened on...” Her voice caught, “On Gallifrey.”

 

He swallowed and nodded. As Missy acquired the ship diagnostics from Jorj, the Doctor gathered parts for a makeshift bio-dampener from bits of the ship he deemed unnecessary. River helped him gather the parts, assembling it with him.

 

They kept eyes on Missy, glancing at her often to make sure she wasn't causing more trouble than she had. They caught bits of words as they worked, things like: "Two days? Really?"; "That's roughly human flirting, isn't it?"; and "You look sick, have you gone a darker blue?"

 

River kept shooting glances at the elevator, hands trembling as she tried to work alongside her husband in a quick and calm manner.

 

"Oi, lovebirds," Missy called. "I found the rest of the crew."

 

“We’re in the middle of something.” River snapped.

 

"You're going to want to see this." She insisted, turning one of the console screens to face them. It showed a map of the ship and all life forms that registered. On the top were the four of them on a dark grey backdrop. The bottom of the ships was a nearly solid glow of readings. "There were about 40 people on this ship according to Greg over here. A skeleton crew. And they're all dead."

 

River’s eyes widened at the number of lifeforms, “And something invaded the ship?”

 

"No. That mess you see down there, they're all _descendants_ of the _original_ crew. Gary said that it's been only two days since the monsters first appeared and took everyone. Conclusion?" She looked at River expectantly.  

 

“The black hole is tampering with time. Time passes faster down there, and slower up here.” River murmured, putting the two together.

 

"Gold star for the halfbreed. If you'd been taken down there, you'd have a ten-year-old with you the next time we saw you. What did you build?"

 

“Biodampers.” River murmured, “It should hide my biosignature so they won’t come looking for us again.”

 

"Does it work?" She challenged.

 

“It should.” She murmured, slipping the finished machine on. The makeshift device was much bigger than the subtle bio-dampeners they had in the TARDIS. The thing covered River’s whole chest like some sort of sci-fi armor chest plate.

 

The Doctor scanned her with his sonic. "Yes, it works."

 

“Good. That’s a relief.” River gave him a weak smile.

 

"Well, shall we head down there?" Missy asked cheerily.

 

River raised her eyebrow, “No! It’s not safe. In case you haven’t gotten it through your to thick skull, I’m pregnant and trying not to put my child in unnecessary danger.”

 

"I wasn't asking, dear, I was telling. The TARDIS won't come to this level of the ship, we're too close to the black hole. Our best chances of getting out of here are to go to the belly of the beast. And as long as that device keeps working, those things won't go after you again."

 

River scowled, looking at the Doctor. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Unfortunately, she's right. Even if one of us can get to the TARDIS, we can't bring it back here to get the others. We've all got to go."

 

“Fine. But this better not take long.” She muttered

 

"Should we bring Jeremy?" Missy gestured to Jorj.

 

"I don't think he'll be very useful." River shook her head, “I can only handle one untrustworthy person at the moment.”

 

"You're just going to leave me here? With those things on my ship?" Jorj panicked.

 

“You’ll be fine.” River snapped at him, highly irritated. Jorj shut his mouth, somehow not having it in him to challenge the angry mother who he had been pointing a gun at just before. “Let’s go.” She stormed towards the lifts.

 

The Doctor pulled his phone out as they got in the lift. "I want to call Vastra. I'm worried about the kids."

 

“No!” River practically hit the phone out of his hands, “What if they track your call?”

 

He nearly dropped it, fumbling to put it back in his pocket. "Sorry, sorry. Wasn't thinking."

 

The lift doors closed and they started moving. River clenched her fists, squeezing her eyes shut in pain. The stress was starting to get to her. Missy leaned against the wall as the Doctor stepped closer to his wife. "Riv?"

 

“It’s okay.” She tried to whisper.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

“Stress reaction… I think.” She breathed.

 

"Baby gets fussy every time Mummy's a bit upset?" Missy teased. "Isn't that helpful."

 

"Shut up, Missy." River growled.

 

"Then pull yourself together because no matter how small your human-y brian maybe, we're still going to need every part of it focused."

 

"Missy, knock it off." The Doctor stepped between them, blocking out their views of each other. "River, I know ignoring her isn't the easiest thing, but I promise we'll get the TARDIS back as quickly as possible."

 

"How can you expect me to ignore her when she won't stop making ridiculous remarks." She scowled.

 

"I'm not asking you to ignore her, but she's right about all of us needing to focus."

 

"I'm sorry that my pregnancy is such an inconvenience to you." River snapped at him.

 

“That’s not what I—River you know I’d do anything to keep you and Felix safe.”

 

“Felix? Is that what you’re calling it?” Missy scoffed. “Don’t get too attached.”

 

He turned to Missy. "You understand that working together entails _not_ irritating the people you're working with?"

 

"I am aware, but it's so fun!"

 

The lift jolted to a sudden stop, the doors opening to reveal that they were inside a hospital. The room in front of them looked sterile and dark, medical equipment lying on all the counters by the wall.

 

"River, not one person, not one living thing on this ship with worth you or our baby." He whispered, scanning the strange looking operating theater. "That's why _both_ of you need to cooperate."

 

River took his hand, hesitantly stepping out into the room with him.


	77. Maybe We’re Just Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't think any of us are going to pretend that this labour thing is going to go away or that Mr. Song here has the tools he'd need to help you out. This," Missy gestured to the device, "is time. And at the moment, your only ticket to a baby that'll live for more than five minutes outside your body."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil writer's laughing*
> 
> on a more serious note: trigger warnings relating to preterm labor for this chapter

**Ch 77**

 

The Doctor squeezed River’s hand tightly, his stomach twisting with the eeriness of the place the lift had brought them. The operating theater was poorly lit, and the three of them moved into the adjoining hall with haste. 

 

"Unless this place has better technology lying around somewhere, we've got to get down to the city," Missy said, strolling out in front of them. River was on high alert, ready to run at any sudden noises. Missy, on the other hand, walked the halls like she were window shopping. 

 

The hall they crept through was lined with dozens of doors. One of them had a sign over it that read "in" in glowing white letters, and opposite from it was a door that read "out." From the “out” labeled door came a repetitive noise that sounded like a word being spoken by a computer. 

 

"Ooooh, let's go in here." Missy grinned. 

 

The Doctor looked like he might protest, but the sound of footsteps behind them made the decision more rushed and the three of them entered with nowhere else to hide. 

 

Missy immediately began to wander around the room, "Now what do we have here?" It was a room large enough to host a small conference, but it was fairly bare aside from the one curtained window of the wall opposite the door. There were two rows of what could have been considered patients lined up facing each other, like lights on the path to the window. They looked exactly like the monsters that had attacked River upstairs. They all had keyboards in front of them and IV lines in their arms. 

 

The creature Missy was perched over was lethargically clicking a button on its keyboard, which sounded out the word "pain" in a robotic, monotone voice every time it was pressed. 

 

River looked mildly horrified. "We need to go." 

 

The footsteps in the hall came with a voice dangerously close to the room they were in. "Who's making all that noise? Who is it?"

 

The Doctor gestured hurriedly to the curtains on the far end of the room, the three of them hiding quickly. River held her husband tighter as she heard the door open, hardly daring to breathe. 

 

A broad woman dressed in an old-fashioned white nurses’ outfit entered, followed by a scruffy looking man. "Right, what's the matter with you, hmm? Making all that fuss..." She was addressing the creature spouting "pain". 

 

The creature continued to click the button in response to the nurse. "Let's see now." The nurse continued with relative ease, turning a dial on the drip so the noise stopped. The man glanced back in the direction of the curtain and the woman continued,  "That's better, isn't it? Right then, Mister Razor, might as well do the rounds, now I'm here." 

 

As soon as they left, Missy went out from behind the curtain, going to examine the creatures again. The one the nurse had “fixed” was still pressing down on the same button. Missy turned the same dial the nurse had and the repeating word came back into volume. She quickly turned the sound back off. “All she did was mute it.” 

 

"Do you think it's safe to go out? She said she was making rounds, so that means she's still around." River murmured. 

 

The Doctor shook his head. "I don't like the looks of this place and whatever is going on, these... things are being made here." He looked back to the curtain and pulled up back fully. A large window was revealed and below it a smoke riddled city. "We've got to get down there." 

 

Missy looked out the window as well, "We could climb down." She suggested. 

 

River had fallen silent, the muscles in her abdomen tensing again. 

 

“River... do you think you can make it down there?” The Doctor asked slowly, her pained expression inciting a look of concern from him. 

 

"I think so." She lied, exhaling slowly. 

 

Missy was already forcing the window open. The smog-filled air carried a rotting smell from outside. All of the creatures in the room turned their heads to look a the trio. 

 

River backed away from the creatures, heading for the window. There was a fire escape ladder down the side of the building. It creaked with their added weight. 

 

Missy went first, "Isn't this fun?" 

 

They were over nearly ten stories up, wind blowing the soiled air in their faces. The Doctor was second to start down the latter, doing his very best not to look down. River was the last one to go, finding it a bit difficult to maneuver the ladder with her belly in the way. 

 

Missy was descending much faster than either of the Songs, the Doctor wanting to stay near River. She was already on the ground when they were on floor four. 

 

Midway through the third floor, River stopped, clutching onto the ladder rung so tightly that her knuckles turned white. 

 

"River?" Her husband called up to her when she stopped moving. She didn't answer, trying to breathe through what was starting to feel like contractions. "We've got to keep moving," he called louder, thinking she couldn't hear him. 

 

"Okay!" She called back, starting to move again when the pain had subsided. They stopped a few times as they continued down, the Doctor catching on to what was going on. 

 

He rushed to her when they finally made it on the ground. "Riv, the baby?"  

 

"I think I'm having contractions." She breathed, holding him tightly. 

 

"How badly? How far apart?" He asked quickly. 

 

"Five minutes. They're strong." She answered, "It's too early." 

 

"Good thing you have me, then." Missy piped up. She was leaning against the building, having been watching their panic.  

 

River frowned, "Why is it a good thing we have you?" 

 

"Because I have this." She reached into her pocket, pulling out the device that had gotten her in trouble just a couple days ago. 

 

"Get that thing away from me." River snapped at her, immediately stepping back. 

 

Missy rolled her eyes and shifted her weight off the wall. "Look, we could be on this ship for days, weeks, hell months even. There are well over  _ 3 million _ cubic miles of this ship that your TARDIS could possibly be in, and that's assuming it's on the inside. You need  _ time _ , or else you're going to get a squirming little thing who's respiratory system doesn't work. I don't think any of us are going to pretend that this labour thing is going to go away or that Mr. Song here has the tools he'd need to help you out. This," she gestured to the device, "is time. And at the moment, your only ticket to a baby that'll live for more than five minutes outside your body." 

 

River looked to the Doctor, not knowing what to think. She didn't trust Missy at all, but she didn't see any other option. 

 

"It's still reversible, her water hasn't broken." The Doctor muttered, finding his voice quiet. "If it comes to it, we won't have any other choice, but right now we do." 

 

"Suit yourself." Missy tucked the device back into her pocket, "But if you wait too long then you might miss your chance." 

 

"There's a time limit on this offer?" He scowled. 

 

"I'm just saying if you want to wait until her water breaks, then fine. But this device may not be able to give you the time needed to keep your child alive by that point, it may be too late. Speeding up the development of a baby can be dangerous for both mummy and baby if it's done too quickly." 

 

He put his hand over his face for a moment to hide the distress that was growing too obvious. He couldn't face losing River or Felix, but it was very difficult to rationalize saving them using the same technology that killed William—given to him by the same woman to catalyzed his death, at that. On top of worrying about getting home, worrying about their other children, and being distracted on their way to execute the person he'd known for longer than anyone else in the universe, he couldn't possibly imagine how River was keeping it together. 

 

He looked at her. "Riv, it's your body..."

 

River was trying her best to hold it together, refusing to show weakness in front of Missy. The thought of using the same technology that had killed William was horrifying to her, and the thought of losing Felix was equally unbearable. She wished that they had never let Missy into their lives, that they would have just left her on the Executioner's planet. She wanted to be home, safe with her children. "I can't lose him." She shook her head, "Fine. Use it." 

 

"The good news," Missy added as she handed the device over to the Doctor, "is that it's still programmed to the neural bypass settings, so that won't be a worry anymore." 

 

River hardly heard her, shaking as she let the Doctor put the device on. Passersby gave them a few looks, but the attachment was done quickly. 

 

The Doctor soniced the device active, then scanned her abdomen. "I'm linking this to his heart rates. If there's a change, we'll know immediately." 

 

She nodded, "We need to find the TARDIS, now." 

 

Both Missy and the Doctor nodded, the former seeming to become more serious about the situation. The three set out through the city, trying to stick to the shadows. They had to stop periodically during contraction and wait for River.

 

The people of the city passed in large groups, some of them heading in the direction of the hospital, many escorted by those strange creatures.

 

“Isn’t there some way you can scan for the TARDIS?” Missy sighed after a while.

 

"I'd need a computer of sorts," he admitted. All they had a the moment were brick buildings and the sonic screwdriver, which wasn't nearly enough to do a scan of this level, let alone a scan of the ship. "Schematics, too." 

 

"It's going to be impossible to find the TARDIS." River frowned, "There's no way we can find it just by walking." 

 

"We could split up," Missy suggested. At the Doctor's glare, she added, "What? I'm faster than both of you at the moment and you know it." 

 

River shook her head, "We're not splitting up so you can run off and escape on your own." 

 

"I want to get off this ship as much as you do, excuse me." Missy crossed her arms. "The TARDIS is the only way for me to do that, and I'm bio locked out of the controls. You really think I'd risk my only escape to betray you?" 

 

"Well, you found a way to tamper with the controls and brought us here." River snapped at her, "This whole mess is your fault!"  

 

"I told you, it wasn’t me. But since you still think it is, let me fix it," she looked at the ground for a second, then back at River humorlessly. 

 

River stared at her for a minute, "Fine, if you don't find it in three hours, you need to meet us back here and check in. Got it?" 

 

"Fair enough," Missy nodded, walking away. "Don't do something stupid that'll get you both killed." 

 

River winced as another contraction hit. Now that Missy was gone, she didn’t feel like she had to hide her pain as much. 

 

"We should find somewhere to rest," the Doctor suggested. 

 

She nodded, "This feels like a nightmare." 

 

"I know," he whispered, wrapping his arm around her. "I know." 

 

"I've' been so worried that he'd come early because of all the stress." Her voice shook, "And I hate that we have to use the same thing that k-" She stopped, not wanting to finish. 

 

“We’ve got to keep moving,” he urged. He knew exactly what she felt, but they didn’t have the time to dwell on the horror they were facing, not here. She stopped talking, trying to move forward. 

 

They moved slowly through the city, their thoughts racing as they tried to keep a low profile. 

 

The building they eventually ducked into looked like an abandoned factory. True to its appearance, there were was nothing inside but darkness and shut down machines.  Together they looked for a place to sit for a moment and collect themselves. 

 

They found a small room that was probably once an office but was now empty albeit a few dusty chairs and one book lying on the floor. “What is this?” River went for the book first. 

 

The binding was falling apart and the cover was burnt, so the title was unreadable, but most of the contents were fine. The book seemed the be a guide to the ship's first level wiring schematics. “Here.” River murmured, handing her husband the book, “Do you think this could be of any use?” 

 

He flipped through it, looking almost like he might smile. "This  _ exactly  _ what we need." 

 

River fell back in one of the chairs, closing her eyes. He pulled his attention away from the book. "How are you holding up? The pain's not getting any better is it..." 

 

She shook her head, trying to hide her face from him.  He reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly and checked his sonic quickly. "His heart rates haven't changed, that means he's doing alright." She nodded, her whole body shaking. "Hey," his other hand reached up and cupped her face. "We're going to make it home." 

 

She nodded again, quickly brushing away the tears that fell. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this afraid. 

 

"We've still got another two hours before Missy is supposed to be back," he said after a minute, glancing at the book. 

 

"So what should we do in the meantime? Sit here and wait?"  

 

"No, we have the wiring schematics for this level. We could do something with them, make a plan." 

 

“Okay.” She muttered. “Do you have anything in mind?”

 

“Well,” he opened to random page glad it was exactly what he needed, “this place used to monitor and make signal relays for different parts of the ship, which means there may be an old computer somewhere.”  

 

"Okay. Let's go find it." She started to get up, "Is there a floor plan in there?" 

 

“Yes but... I think it might be better if you rested longer." 

 

She shook her head, "I want to help." 

 

He realized there was no use to trying to talk her out of it, so nodded slowly instead. “Fine, but please take it easy.” 

 

Together they began searching for the computer using the floor plan that the book provided. It took them a little while to actually find it since it was hard to see what things were in the dark. In the process of searching, they found welding machines, machines with dangerous amounts of wires exposed, and something that might pass as a vending machine, but any food that may have been in it was rotted. 

 

The computer they finally found was two floors up and got to work trying to reboot it. River did her best to help work on the computer, but by now, her contractions were getting closer together and worse with the added growth acceleration.

 

The Doctor carefully divided his attention between his wife and their task, stopping to help her through the waves of pain when they came. 

 

"Focus on the computer." She urged, insisting that she didn't need help. 

 

“I will when you focus on your breathing,” he countered. 

 

"I'm trying." She snapped at him, growing increasingly upset. He shut his mouth and moved back to the computer work, deciding not to risk agitating her more. "Please tell me you're close to finishing." She murmured. 

 

“Just about,” he murmured. The screen suddenly went from black to white, the Doctor pulling his hands back in shock. “...that wasn’t me.” 

 

River gripped his arm, "Maybe Missy found the TARDIS?" 

 

The screen changed once more to a light blue, then an image of Missy flickered into view. "Ah, there you are. Took you long enough to find something with electricity." 

 

"Oh, thank god." River muttered, for once finding herself relieved to see Missy's face. 

 

"How did you get video?" The Doctor asked. She didn't seem to be in the TARDIS based on what was in the background. 

 

"Oh, right...about that..." She smirked. 

 

"Just spit it out, we're on a time limit here." He demanded, not liking her expression. 

 

"What's going on?" River frowned. 

 

"Hmm, how shall I start?" Missy tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I went back to the hospital since it seemed to be where most of these sad little humany-people were heading... and I ran into someone very  _ interesting _ ." 

 

River's grip on her husband's arm tightened, her hope sinking. 

 

"Actually, before I get to that," Missy tapped a few buttons on her side of the screen. A small image on an Earth-like planet popped up on their side. " _ This _ is the planet the colony ship came from. Do you know which one it is?" Her tone indicated she already knew the answer. 

 

"It looks like Earth, but that can't be right." River murmured. 

 

"Oh, isn’t that super interesting." She mused. "See, I assumed this ship was from Earth, full of squishable little  _ humans _ , but it's not from Earth at all, is it?" This was clearly rhetorical. "So, an Earth-like planet, but not Earth itself. Very Earth-like. If planets had...  _ twins _ ." 

 

River's eyes widened, coming to the same realization, "It's from Mondas." 

 

"And those things that tried to kill you, River, are the very beginning of the  _ Mondasian Cybermen _ . This day just got a whole lot more exciting, didn't it?" 

 

"No, Missy, it hasn't. We need to leave as soon as possible." 

 

Missy started tapping her chin again, "Perhaps I should mention the other interesting thing I found today..." 

 

"And what would that be?" 

 

"That would be directly behind you," she smiled. 

 

River spun around, turning to face whatever Missy's finding was. 

 

The man from the hospital was there, though his face was completely different now—the face of someone neither of them had seen in a very long time. Before either of them could speak, he raised a metal pipe and knocked them both out. 


	78. The Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy huffed. "However much you think your husband has failed to turn me "good", there is one thing he did do: show how to feel remorse. I'm not here to kill your son again, I'm trying to help save him."
> 
> "Fine." River shook her head, "Fine, but only because you're the only other Time Lord here and if something goes wrong you might know how to help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I don't kill Felix
> 
> Also, A Sea of Change is finally longer than When You Least Expect it (in chapters, at least)

**Ch 78**

 

The ringing in her ears was the first thing River noticed as she woke up. That and the pounding headache. She opened her eyes, finding her vision blurry and fleeting. The searing pain in her abdomen was what really began to bring her out of unconsciousness. Her hands instinctively moved to clutch her middle but were met with resistance from a rope that tied them behind her back. A groan next to her indicated that the Doctor was tied up as well. 

 

Building tops were visible around them, indicating that they were on a roof. River was still trying to piece together what happened, unable to remember exactly where she was. As her vision became clearer, she began to make out the faces before her. Two faces—a man’s and a woman’s. One mind. 

 

"How many times have you died?" asked the man. 

 

River didn't answer, having trouble even processing the question. She couldn’t even tell who was talking, the faces before her spinning. She glanced next to the grey-haired man tied up next to her, who seemed to be having an equal amount of trouble with his senses. 

 

"How many different times?" This question was posed by the woman who was almost certainly Missy, but River couldn’t tell for sure with the vertigo. 

"Have you burned? Have you drowned?" 

 

"We know Old News here has fallen plenty, but what about you?" 

 

Their voices flowed which each other's uncomfortably smoothly. River struggled and grimaced in pain, trying to get out of the bonds. Either she was getting weak, or the rope was stronger than expected.

 

"I suppose what we're really asking, my dear is—" the Master spoke. 

 

"--Any requests?" Missy finished for him. 

 

The Doctor muttered something barely audible, slumping back and losing consciousness again. 

 

Missy lifted up a heavy object, going to knock River out again. The Master took her wrist, stopping her. "No need, darling. Dance?" 

 

"In a moment, dear. I'd rather not listen to her moan while we plot how to kill her." 

 

"I like the sound of pain." He smirked. "Does that not do it for you anymore?" 

 

“It’s more irritating than pleasurable coming from her.” 

 

He considered this, then nodded. "It's not as fun when that baby is doing all the work for us, isn't it." 

 

Missy hummed and swung at River’s head again. “Not at all.” The sonic in the Doctor's pocket started flashing red as River was knocked out once more. 

 

\--x--

Pain… searing pain across her abdomen and in her head. That's all River could register. Something was making it worse, jolting her back and forth—she really wish that would stop. It was like someone was shaking her.

 

"Come on, trollop. Wake up before he does." 

 

River heard this, groaning when she tried to make words. 

 

"We don't have time for this. He's going to wake up, we should just leave her." Missy hissed.

 

"No! I can't believe you'd even suggest that—she's my wife!" The voice next to Missy no longer belonged to the Master. 

 

"Here, I've got a way to do it." Missy muttered, "Stand back." 

 

River finally woke up to a smack across the cheek, blinking in shock. 

 

"See? Works every time,” Missy preened.  

 

"Shut up," the Doctor growled, untying River. "Can you stand?" he asked her. 

 

"Think so..." River managed, somewhat impressed with herself that real words came out this time. 

 

Her husband wrapped his arm around her as support. "Missy's got a ship, we'll go up as many floors as we can. The Master won't stay out for long." 

 

"Okay..." River said weakly, though didn’t have a clue as to what was going on. She put most of her weight against the Doctor, hoping that she wasn’t groaning as much as she thought she was. 

 

They made their way forwards, the Doctor mostly carrying River as Missy hurried to the pilot's seat of the ship. 

 

"What's going on?" River asked as they entered the ship. 

 

"Long story, dear," Missy called back. "No time for it, just hold onto something." 

 

She looked at her husband, "Docto-ghh!" She clutched his wrist tightly as the pain intensified. 

 

"Breathe." He winced, more at seeing her in pain than at the pain in his wrist. 

 

"Is he okay?" she breathed. 

 

"I don't know," he admitted. It was at this point that she realized the sonic was in his other hand and glowing red.

 

"We're running out of time."

 

The ship lurched aggressively forwards, barring any more conversation between the two. "Hold on!" Missy shouted. 

 

They all gripped onto whatever the could find as Missy flew them out of the city. She charged the ship full-speed at the level’s ceiling, bursting through to the next floor and the next until the engines started smoking with the damage. It was on level 507 that the ship finally sputtered and came to a crash.

 

The three timelords, practically choking on the smoke, scrambled out of the ship and into the sunlight. This level of the ship was covered in grass (not including the skid from where the ship landed) with trees scattered about. 

 

A few meters away, a little girl who looked about Terra's age watched the three stumble out of the wreckage.  

 

The Doctor and River were panting, collapsing onto the grass. Missy was flustered, but standing as she examined their new environment. "There should be shelter somewhere. Hey, you! Little girl!" Missy called. 

 

The girl, frightened by Missy, turned and ran in the opposite direction, towards what looked like a house. “That was easy.” Missy turned back to them. "Well, are you going to follow her with me or are you going to pop that kid out in the middle of a field?" 

 

"We're coming." The Doctor hissed, standing and helping River up. He walked with River, practically holding her up and Missy went ahead. 

 

When they finally made it to the house, Missy was already talking to the people inside. The little girl was there also, shying behind who seemed to be the woman in charge. The latter turned to the Songs when they came it. "There's a room for you upstairs. I've sent Rexhill up there with supplies for you." 

 

River was surprised that they weren't immediately thrown out, having expected to have to explain and apologize for whatever Missy said before they arrived. 

 

Missy approached River, "Are you alright?" 

 

“Don’t come near me," River hissed.

 

She huffed. "However much you think your husband has failed to turn me "good", there is one thing he did do: show how to feel remorse. I'm not here to kill your son again, I'm trying to help save him." 

 

"Fine." She shook her head, "Fine, but only because you're the only other Time Lord here and if something goes wrong you  _ might _ know how to help."  

 

Missy nodded seriously, supporting her from the other side. She and the Doctor pulled River up the stairs and to the spare bedroom that they had been offered. 

 

She was in a tremendous amount of pain now, informing her husband that the pressure was getting worse. It was clear that Felix was coming now. 

 

"He's going to be alright.” The Doctor helped River settle on the bed as Missy looked over the supplies.

 

"You don't know that." River shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt another contraction. 

 

"No... but you know I'm going to do everything that I can." He murmured. 

 

"We don't have anything to even do a scan. We have nothing." She was panicking now. 

 

He grabbed her hand. "Look at me, Riv."  

 

She looked up at him. There were tears in her eyes. 

 

"We have what we have." He moved to rest his hand on her cheek, sitting on the bed beside her. "I know it's not as much as we'd like, but we're going to make it work." He spoke calmly, knowing that his worry would only make it worse. "We're going to make it work. I need you to breathe for that to happen and just listen to me, okay?" 

 

She nodded, taking a deep breath. 

 

He continued calmly. "I'm going to break your water. We need to get Felix out quickly to make sure we can take care of him. You're going to have to push soon, do you think you can do that?" 

 

She nodded again, only because 'no' wasn't really an option. 

 

He squeezed her hand tightly. "Right. Missy, do we have an amnio-hook?"  

 

"I don't know what that is." Missy frowned.

 

“The one that looks like a flat crocheting needle." 

 

“This one?" She handed him what she thought fit his description. He nodded, taking it. 

 

Missy moved next to River, offering a hand. "Go on, break a few bones. You've probably earned it."  River took Missy's hand, preparing for what was about to happen. 

 

"This part won't hurt," the Doctor told her, "but the contractions are going to come stronger after this. I need you to push on the first one, alright?" 

 

"Okay,” she answered shakily. Her whole body was trembling, though it was hard to tell if it was from the pain or the overall distress of what was happening. 

 

Missy said something about breathing as the Doctor carefully got to work. The gush of amniotic fluid that resulted was tinged red, and for some reason, the first thought in the Doctor's head was of how much the twins had wanted to be here for this. 

 

Almost immediately there was another contraction. River's grip on Missy's hand tightened as she tried not to scream. Both Missy and the Doctor encouraged her to push hard, the former wincing at how tightly River was squeezing. She did as they said, leaning forward with the effort. 

 

"Good," the Doctor said. "Again." 

 

River sucked in ragged breaths in what little time she could between the pains, crying out at the next one.

 

The sonic lay on the bed beside next to them, steadily pulsing its red light. The Doctor kept glancing at it, telling River, again and again, to keep pushing. There wasn't much time for rest between the pain.

 

"I can't." She breathed hoarsely after a while, "I need to rest." 

 

Missy got up to fetch a rag and shake out her hand.

 

"You have to keep going, Riv," the Doctor urged.

 

"I just need a minute." She snapped at him.

 

"Now don't get fussy," Missy piped up, bringing over a cloth to wipe River's sweat away. "He's not the boss. You just sit back and breathe." River took in a deep breath, still not used to Missy being on her side. "That's a good lass." Missy praised. 

 

"When you're ready..." added the Doctor, skeptical of Missy's attitude. "I need big pushes, River." 

 

River suffered through a few contractions before she resumed pushing, whimpering in pain. Concerned voices floated from downstairs, as just about the whole house could hear what was going on.  

 

River’s energy was dwindling fast. It wasn’t very much to begin with since the Master assaulted them and her pushes were only getting weaker.

 

The Doctor offered River a free hand to squeeze but had to take it back when the baby's head started to emerge more fully.  It felt like ages before the head was fully born. They were only a few pushes away now, but not at the rate River seemed to be slowing down too. 

 

Ten minutes passed and Felix didn't seem to be budging. Whatever strength River was pushing with, it wasn't meeting the threshold to make him move. 

 

The Doctor glanced worriedly at Missy who rolled her eyes. “Well, what do you expect me to do about it?”

 

“You seemed so full of bright ideas," he muttered. "Riv, look at me. I know it hurts, but I need you to push harder.”

 

River looked down at him. Sweat glistened on her skin and her expression was full of nothing but fear. She shook her head at his words, her face only paling more. “I can’t.” 

 

“Great job.” Missy rolled her eyes, “I’ll handle it. It's like I'm the only one who cares whether this baby ends up ok or not,” There was a lift in her tone that indicated she knew  _ exactly _ what she was saying. "What's his name, Fredric?" 

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” River scowled at her, still panting. 

 

She grinned. "It means that all you and eyebrows have been whining about today is how to get home. 'Oh, poor me, I'm pregnant and stuck on a scary spaceship!'" She mimicked River's voice inaccurately high and irritating. "Meanwhile I've been bending backward to make sure your lovechild is born breathing." 

 

"That is not true! How dare you say something like that." She snapped at her, her whole body tensing. 

 

"Sure,  _ now _ you try to take credit for all my hard work. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have even gotten this far. It's like I've practically been doing all the pushing  _ for _ you." Missy tapped her chin. "And was that giving up I heard from you a minute ago? Honestly, I should've expected that." 

 

“Shut up, Missy!” River shouted. A contraction crashed over her at that moment and she screamed with the intensity of it as she pushed. 

 

"Come on, your children could do better than that," she continued, being somehow both encouraging and annoying at the same time. 

 

“Why are you so irritating?” River wheezed at her, while still gripping her hand tight enough to break a bone. 

 

"Oh, there's a whole list of reasons for that, none the least of which is that I'm better than you at this," Missy replied cheerily, winking at the Doctor.

 

"I could strangle you right now." River groaned. 

 

"Dear, you couldn't even lift a finger right now, let alone strangle me."

 

"One more," the Doctor whispered from the end of the bed. He said it quietly, both because of the intensity of the moment, and because he feared that Missy's distasteful plan would stop working if he drew too much attention away from her. 

 

"Do you want to bet?" River's grip on Missy's hand tightened.

 

Missy noticeably grimaced as she a crack from her hand. "Bet on how long it's going to take you to finally have this baby? My money's on next year." 

 

River slumped against the bed, trying to catch her breath. “I don’t want you here.”

 

“What, scared to be a mummy again?" Missy rolled her eyes. 

 

"Get out!" River wrenched her hand suddenly away from Missy’s, glaring at her as dangerous as she could manage given the circumstances. 

 

Even Missy could tell she’s struck a nerve. "Well, there goes all those perfectly good insults to waste," she muttered, more to herself than to anyone else in the room. She cradled her injured hand to her chest. "Not that it's any consolation, but I'm quite certain something's broken. Ball's back in your court, Mr. Song." 

 

"...Missy, would you go downstairs, please?" the Doctor asked. 

 

“Fine, maybe someone downstairs will actually care about my poor hand,” she huffed, more as a way of easing the tension than a real complaint as she exited. 

 

The Doctor looked back at his wife as the door closed. "Last push." 

 

“I can’t do this, Doctor…” she managed weakly, sounding like she might cry. “I don’t want this to be happening. Not here and certainly not now.”  

 

"I’m sorry River, but it is happening." he started slowly, "And I am  _ holding _ our child's head in my hands..." he searched her face. “You need to push.” 

 

She took a shaking breath, swallowing the hot lump in her throat. “O-one more?” 

 

"One more," he echoed. He wished he could give her more—anything really; Comfort or hand to hold would do well, but the sonic was still flashing red which meant Felix had to take priority. 

 

River shut her eyes as the pain took her once more and all she could do was scream and hold onto the sheets of the bed for dear life. 

 

The Doctor’s ears were ringing as Felix finally made a complete, but silent entrance into the universe. 


	79. The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And who's fault is that?" River glared at her, the bickering with Missy being the only normal behavior she was exhibiting so far.
> 
> "Hey, it was either hit you or perform a cesarean to prove myself. Which would you have had me done?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 79**

 

The Doctor grabbed the sonic, scanning over their son. River watched, silent and shaking with exhaustion and anxiety. The Doctor pressed on Felix’s chest, still utilizing the sonic until finally a frail cry was produced by the newborn. River breathed out a sigh of relief, though she didn’t reach out or ask for the baby. 

 

He scooped Felix up carefully. "His hearts were out of sync, I think he'll be okay now." River nodded, her expression reminding the Doctor vividly of Dundenbar. Most of his memories from that timeline were blurred to begin with, but the connection he saw now was undeniable. "You should hold him." 

 

She shook her head, "No. I want you to hold him." 

 

He didn't argue, grabbing a blanket to wrap him up in.

 

_ Too bright. Want Mummy!  _ Felix demanded. 

 

River looked away from them, hiding her face and fighting a hot lump in her throat. She didn't understand why she was feeling this way. She should have been happy, relieved, but she wasn't. The Doctor didn't know what to say, hushing their son as he whimpered. 

 

Missy came up about ten minutes later, entering without knocking. The hand River had crushed was now wrapped up. "Well, looks like that can be squared off the list." Felix let out a loud whine, to which Missy clicked her tongue. "If I remember my languages, I think he's asking for milk." It was an obvious guess, but she mostly said it because of the tension she sensed. "Unless you've already done that and he's just faking like a cat. Babies and cats have so much in common. Has anyone checked your head?" She asked River. 

 

"No..." River murmured, still staring blankly. 

 

"Now what's her problem?" Missy huffed, she wasn't terribly experienced in having babies, but she was fairly certain that this wasn't how people acted after giving birth. 

 

The Doctor didn't answer her, caught up in the realization of the head injuries they'd gotten from their encounter with the Master. He'd been so focused on making sure Felix was okay that he'd nearly forgotten. 

 

He shifted Felix to one arm and moved closer to River. "Can you follow my fingers?" 

 

River reluctantly tried to focus her eyes on his finger, though failed the eye-tracking test miserably, simply unable to do it. The Doctor’s worry was quickly returning as he fished out a pocket torch. He shone the light in River's eyes. She immediately tried to look away, finding the light to be too bright. 

 

"How hard did you hit her, Missy??" It was a rhetorical question, but his concern was obvious. 

 

"I had to make it look believable!" Missy defend, "Give him to me so you can examen her." She held her arms out for the baby. 

 

"No!" River shouted, breaking out of her daze for a moment. 

 

Missy looked stunned, though recovered quickly. "No need to get your knickers in a twist. Would you rather _ I _ examine you?" 

 

"Yes." She nodded, liking any solution that didn’t involve her baby near Missy. 

 

The Doctor slowly handed Missy the pocket torch, moving out of the way while holding Felix protectively. Missy took his place with ease, running the light past River's eyes again. "Her left eye is unreactive." 

 

"I want to sleep." River murmured, exhaustion washing over her. 

 

"No," Missy ordered firmly. "No sleeping." 

 

"I think I've earned some rest, thank you," River snapped.

 

"It's not a punishment, it's a diagnosis, thank you. I think you've got a brain bleed." 

 

"And who's fault is that?" River glared at her, the bickering with Missy being the only normal behavior she was exhibiting so far. 

 

"Hey, it was either hit you or perform a cesarean to prove myself. Which would you have had me done?"

 

"Missy, this is bad..." The Doctor had taken to pacing by the window. 

 

"I'm  _ aware _ that this is bad. We need to figure out how to get  _ off _ this ship before your wife bleeds to death." 

 

"Maybe the people downstairs know something...?" he offered unsurely. 

 

"I don't think they know much." Missy shook her head, "They're humans—not the brightest race out there." 

 

He resisted a glare. "They're worth a shot. Watch her, please." 

 

"What about the baby? Doesn't Mrs. Doctor get a chance to hold it? I'm sure you don't want to take him downstairs with all those strangers." 

 

He glanced at River, not sure about leaving both his baby and incapacitated wife in Missy's brief care, especially with River’s apprehension towards their son. 

 

"I'll take him." River finally offered, clearly hesitant but preferring it to the idea of her baby surrounded by strangers. 

 

The Doctor lowered a still fussing Felix into River's arms. The tension seemed to leave River’s shoulders, at least a bit. "It's okay, mummy's here." She soothed, cradling him close against her body. 

 

The baby calmed quickly and the Doctor kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back." 

 

River stared at Missy as the door shut behind him. “I'm not going to bite you." Missy murmured, leaning against the wall. 

 

"Are you sure?" She held the baby closer. 

 

She rolled her eyes. "I'm a Timelady, not an animal. And I want is to get out of here as much as you do. In case you've forgotten, my lesser half is a few floors down." 

 

"I haven't forgotten."

 

Felix started to cry. This startled River, her eyes widening with rising panic at the infant. 

 

"Do you think he's going to bite you, too?" Missy raised a brow. 

 

"No." River growled, "Obviously not, I just..." She looked lost like she had no idea what to do. 

 

"Need instruction?" Missy guessed. 

 

"I don't know what to do," she admitted painfully, trying to keep calm despite her growing anxiety and the sharp headache that was coming on. Something wasn't right. She felt far more over her head than she ought to have. Why was she even holding the baby to begin with? She was probably going to mess up and do something to hurt him. 

 

"Well since you have, what, three other children? I'm going to assume you can't remember because of the bleed and take pity on you,” Missy straightened her spine. “...This isn't exactly how I imaged our girl time, but I suppose it'll do." 

 

Felix whined again, getting louder and more distressed the long his needs weren’t met, while his mother continued to stare unsurely at him.  

 

Missy sighed. “No point in idling with a waiting kiddo. I’m sure you’re smart enough to know  _ where _ the milk comes from. Just lead his mouth to it and he should latch on his own.” 

 

River hesitated, feeling overwhelmed and only growing more confused at the fact that she was feeling it. She didn’t understand why, after four kids, she was suddenly so scared and unwilling to do this. 

 

Missy sat on the bed, all teasing gone from her features for a moment. “Do you need me to show you?” 

 

"No, I don't need you to show me. I can't… I can't do it." 

 

Missy sighed again. “And why is that?” 

 

"I don't know." She breathed, "I feel like I can't, but I don't know why." River looked down at the baby, not realizing how much she was shaking. 

 

"Well, it is possible your milk's not come in yet because of the accelerated gestation," Missy mused, "but I assume this is more emotional than physical." 

 

"I'm so tired," River whispered, not wanting Missy of people to be instructing her on how to breastfeed. 

 

"I told you: you can't sleep. So you can sit there and listen to your son cry or suck it up and feed him, but no sleeping." 

 

River glared hard at the other woman but did as she was told and adjusted her top to feed the baby. Like many of the things she had done today, she did it because she knew it was what needed to be done; because she didn't have a choice in it or how unexplainably uneasy it made her. River fixed her eyes on the wall and said no more. 

 

The Doctor came upstairs after a little while. "How is she?" 

 

"She's acting so strangely." Missy muttered to him, "She said she couldn't feed him and now that she finally has, she hasn't looked at him. Is this how she is when I'm not around?" 

 

"No..." he said slowly. He knew the brain bleed was a likely reason behind it, but the possibility that it was something else worried him. "But look, the people downstairs said that there are blue lights here at night that only started appearing a few days ago. I think it's the TARDIS. She probably can't land during the day because of the diurnal settings tampering her readings." 

 

"And is there a way for us to fix that?" 

 

"Not without being on the TARDIS. But nightfall is in an hour... maybe we can make it happen faster." 

 

"Alright, but one of us needs to stay and watch her." Missy nodded towards River.  

 

"How can I trust that you're not just going to run off if I send you out?" He asked. 

 

"Seriously? Maybe because I just helped your wife give birth. I would say that would have been the perfect time to run off since you two were both too preoccupied to really care what I was doing." 

 

“Alright, fine. But you’ve only got an hour.” 

 

"Fine. Don't let her fall asleep," Missy reminded as she left. 

 

The Doctor moved to sit on the bed next to River, scrubbing his hand over his face for a brief moment before looking at her and the baby. River hadn't said anything since he entered the room, her behavior remaining unchanged. 

 

Felix had finished nursing, now quiet and falling asleep in the comfort of his mother's arms. When the Doctor spoke, his voice was gentle. "I know you don't want to talk, but I’m here. Whatever you need, I'm here." 

 

"Okay..." she murmured, looking at him finally. 

 

He offered what he hoped was an assuring expression. "Is there something I can do for you?" 

 

"Can you take him?" she asked quietly. 

 

He nodded without further question, carefully shifting the baby into his arms. As soon as the baby was out of her arms, she relaxed a bit, looking away again. 

 

Soon there was a knock on the door and the Doctor opened it to find the young girl who'd lead them here. The girl had food and clothes for them, holding it out as she tried to catch a glimpse of the bundle in the Doctor's arms. 

 

"Oh...  er, thank you." The Doctor’s hands were too full to take the items, so he gestured for her to bring them inside. "What's your name?" 

 

"Alit." She replied, placing the items on the bed, "Can I see?" She asked, pointing to the baby. 

 

He glanced at River, crouching down so Alit could see the baby. She looked a little disappointed when the Doctor stood up so soon to go over to the woman on the bed and shake her shoulder. 

 

"Stop.." River protested. 

 

"No sleeping." He said to River. "Stay awake."

 

"Can I hold it?" Alit asked. 

 

The Doctor looked back at the girl. "Er, he's sleeping right now, so I don't want to wake him, but you can look again if you'd like." 

 

Alit nodded eagerly, reminding River of her other children back home. She looked away, hiding her tears as the little girl occupied the Doctor's attention. 

 

Alit stared at Felix's tiny face for a long, mesmerizing moment before looking up, seeing River. "Excuse me, miss. What's wrong?" 

 

"T-tired." River lied, "Would you mind giving us some time alone?" 

 

"Oh... okay," she nodded, a little confused. "Bye-bye, baby." The little girl left, leaving the three Songs alone again. 

 

"She seemed nice." The Doctor comment quietly, thinking of Terra. "Are you alright?" 

 

River shook her head, "Please tell me that this has all been a nightmare." 

 

He hesitated, not knowing what to say. "...I'm sorry." She didn't say anything, looking down at the floor. "We're going to get home today. I promise." He tried. 

 

"I don't want to go back to the kids right away." She didn't know how to face her children. She knew the transition of unexpectedly having the baby early was going to be a bit difficult, especially for Terra. "I've been having nightmares that something like this would happen for months. I was so afraid he was going to come early." 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?" Her night terrors weren't unusual, but she didn't often talk about them. 

 

“What would you have done if I did?” 

 

"I... I don't know." He admitted. All he really could do was comfort her in the moment, which he did anyways whether she talked about the dreams or not. "Now that it's happened and we've come out with a healthy baby, are you still afraid?" He wasn't sure where this question came from. 

 

She nodded slowly. 

 

A million possibilities jumped to mind about what could be wrong, but he remembered her earlier aversion to discussing what was on her mind. "You don't have to tell me what it is if you're not comfortable... but is there really nothing I can do?" 

 

She shook her head and they were quiet again for a while until the Doctor remembered the food Alit had brought and moved to take it. 

 

River refused the food. The Doctor silently begged Missy to hurry, the clock ticking away in the back of his head. 


	80. Your Book Will End Fine (I’m a Different Story)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I'm not trying to win, Doctor. I'm not even suggesting that it's fun and god knows I’m not aiming for an easy victory because this isn’t easy. I’m trying to be decent, damn you! I didn’t spend a thousand years in a stupid box to watch you do what I did every day of my life before that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to cut the title down on ff.net because apparently the character limit for titles there is TINY :/
> 
> Enjoy

**Ch 80**

 

River was finding it harder and harder to stay awake. The Doctor would speak or tap her each time she closed her eyes for more than 30 seconds, frightened every time she did. 

 

Finally, there was the sound of familiar footsteps coming up the stairs. The Doctor stood as Missy reentered looking ruffled. 

 

"Did you find the TARDIS?" River asked, sitting up a bit more. 

 

"Yes and no." She flopped down into a chair. "I determined that the lights the humans saw were definitely your ship, but I can't change the day settings without putting all of us in a whole lot more danger." 

 

"So then we'll wait." River murmured, glancing at her husband. 

 

"That wouldn't be wise in your condition." Missy shrugged. "Not to mention that there's going to be an attack tonight, and we best not stick around." 

 

"Then we'll change the day settings. It's the only other option." 

 

“I am telling you, it’s a bad idea. The Cybermen are kept downstairs for the same reason that keeps your TARDIS away and they’re on faster time. If I make it night time, they’ll come full force.” 

 

"Well, what else can we do? We're running out of time." 

 

Missy looked at the Doctor who looked deep in thought. "They're going to come at nightfall whether it comes early or not," he said. "We can’t afford to wait." 

 

"Alright, fine. Do you want to make arrangements with the people downstairs?" 

 

"There nothing we can do but warn them," he said regretfully. 

 

"Really? You're not even going to try?" She frowned. 

 

"It's not my job," he answered defensively. 

 

“Like hell, it’s not.”

 

He glared at the comment. “I  _ can’t _ win this even if I tried.” 

 

Missy stared at him, seeming almost angry. " Winning—Is that what you think it's about? Do you think I suggested to help because I like a good fight? Do you still think that little of me?”

 

“This isn’t about what I think of you. This is about a duty of care to my family.”

 

“And what about your duty of care to the universe, huh? To the people on this ship who have given you sanctuary in your time of need so you can just run off in theirs?”

 

“I’m not running, Missy!” He scowled. “If I stay today, my wife  _ will _ die. If I stand and fight, yes, some of these people might live another day. Not many. Not for long. If you’re asking me to put a value on life… well, fine. I will. Because nothing, not one living thing on this ship is worth more to me than my wife and child. I won’t fight another losing battle.”

 

“I'm not trying to win, Doctor. I'm not even suggesting that it's fun and god knows I’m not aiming for an easy victory because  _ this _ isn’t easy. I’m trying to be decent, damn you! I didn’t spend a thousand years in a stupid box to watch you do what I did every day of my life before that.”

 

“I’m not fighting a losing battle.” He repeated. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel any guilt about leaving these people to their own, but River was his priority, and he'd let this ship burn if it meant she'd be okay. "Deactivate the day settings. We'll wait for your signal." 

 

"Fine. But you'd better be ready to run." She hissed, leaving again. 

 

He looked back at River. "How mobile are you feeling?" 

 

“I don’t know if I can run.” She whispered, though in truth couldn’t even walk very well between the brain bleed and having just given birth.

 

"Depending on how fast Missy is, we might not need to. Let's just focus on getting down the stairs first, yeah? We need to be ready." 

 

She nodded, starting to get out of bed and wincing at the pain. The sheets were still red and damp from the birth, the placenta left sitting in a dark lump in the middle of the bed. He moved to support her, offering his free arm. She nearly collapsed once out of the bed, her legs weaker than expected. 

 

"I've got you," he whispered, tightening his hold on her. "Lean on me." 

 

They only started moving once she seemed balanced, going slowly. 

 

Alit was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, elbows on her knees and head resting on her fists. She looked up when she heard the stairs creak. "Are you leaving?" Alit stood. 

 

"Yes." River answered, trying not to wince at every movement. "We have to go home." 

 

Alit looked at the floor for a moment, then back at them. "That other lady said the scarecrows are going to come back when it gets dark. Are we going to be okay?" 

 

"Um... you've fought them before haven't you?" The Doctor asked, Missy’s frustrated words echoing in his head. 

 

Alit nodded unsurely. 

 

"Then I'm sure you'll do it again," he said and quickly moved on. He didn’t have time for the guilt. He had to focus on River.

 

They thanked the humans of the house on the way out and moved as quickly as they could once outside, trying to get ahead of the oncoming darkness. 

 

They make it all the way to the tree line before the sun suddenly shut off. They knew they didn't have much time now. River picked up the pace, despite how painful it was. 

 

"Where's Missy?" The Doctor thought aloud. 

 

"I have no idea." River murmured, touching the baby's foot when he started whining to try and comfort him. 

 

A loud banging sound came from the distance, which the Doctor was unfortunately sure wasn't the other Timelord. "We're running out of time." 

 

“Then move faster.” River urged.

 

The Doctor remembered the schematics from the book, so they had a relative idea of which direction the TARDIS would likely show up in. The two moved quickly and as quietly as they could through the trees, hopefully growing closer to their desired destination. 

 

A snap behind them had the Doctor spinning around.

 

"Oi, don't get your knickers in a twist, it's me!” Missy rolled her eyes. “Give me the baby and you carry her, we need to be moving faster than this.” 

 

“Fine.” River muttered reluctantly. 

 

Hesitantly, the Doctor shifted Felix over to Missy's arms, then scooped River up into his own. Felix, surprisingly, quieted in Missy’s arms. Trying to ignore his discomfort, the Doctor motioned for them to move on. 

 

The distant sounds of the attack were only growing closer. The four of them pressed on, heading in the direction of the TARDIS.

 

The Doctor kept muttering things to River, mostly for his own comfort, things like: "We're almost there," and "Stay awake." It felt like ages before the blue lights came into view. 

 

A figure was standing in front of the TARDIS as they approached. 

 

“Put me down.” River breathed, not wanting to be in such a vulnerable position. He put her down slowly.

 

"I thought you'd be trying to escape," said the figure. 

 

Missy stepped in front of the Songs, baby still in hand. “Sorry we can’t stay, we have a schedule to stick to.” 

 

Master rolled his eyes. " Becoming a woman's one thing, but have you got  _ empathy _ ?" 

 

She laughed, “You’d be surprised, dear.” 

 

"This is your doing isn't it." He looked at the Songs. "You've ruined me." 

 

“Actually, it was a personal choice.” Missy huffed, “Now let us by and things don’t have to get messy.” 

 

"Seriously? Are we really going to do this? It's me or them, darling. Easy choice." 

 

“You’re right, dear. It’s an easy choice.” She glanced back at the Doctor, giving him a  _ Trust Me _ look, before turning back to her lesser half and gesturing to the infant in her arms. “Peace offering?” 

 

The Master scoffed with amusement. "A baby?  _ Their _ baby I presume?" 

 

“Yes. And I’ll let you do whatever you want with it—torture, experiment, whatever our twisted mind desires.” She held the baby out.

 

River moved forward, “Missy!” The Doctor put a hand on River's arm, trying to indicate that she had a plan.

 

"And all you want is a free pass out of here?" The Master clarified.

 

“Yes! I’m giving you the better deal here. That one,” she nodded to River, “is bleeding out as we speak, so it won’t be much fun to torture her. At least not for much longer. So you’ll get the baby now, and then the two of them in the future. What do you say, so we have a deal?” 

 

He said nothing but approached to get a better look at the baby. Missy leaned in when he was just close enough, then plunged the weapon she had concealed in her sleeve into his back. 

 

The Master's immediate reaction was to pull Missy against him, Felix unhappily between them. Missy pushed the weapon in deeper. 

 

River obviously panicking now, struggling against the Doctor’s hold on her. 

 

It was a solid minute before either incarnation of the Master moved. Missy pulled jerkily away, letting her other body drop. 

 

There was blood on Felix's blanket when she turned around. River ran to them, going to take the baby out of her arms. 

 

"Don't worry, it's only my blood." Missy murmured. "You two need to go." She said, not looking at either of them. 

 

“What about you?” River murmured. 

 

"Well, someone's got to make sure that I get to where I need to be. And someone's got to help those delicate little humans stay out of trouble." 

 

“Why are you doing this  _ now _ ?” The Doctor asked, hardly believing what he was hearing. 

 

“Because it’s kind, Doctor. I didn’t think I had to explain that one to you.” 

 

“You know your chances of winning are very slim.”

 

Missy sighed at him. “You know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. These people are terrified. Maybe  _ I _ can help… a little at least. Why not?"

 

"One condition, Missy," the Doctor looked at her intensely.

 

“Isn’t there always?” 

 

He took a breath. "Don't try to find us. Don't try to contact us if you find a different way out of here. Not for at least a hundred years." 

 

“Fine. It’s a deal.” She nodded, “It’ll be nice to finally be rid of you two anyway. I'll name a town after you," she added. "A really stupid one. And a pig. Now you’d better get Fredrick off this ship.” She showed them into the TARDIS, “I don’t want all my hard work to go to waste.” 

 

The Doctor quickly remembered himself, helping River inside. He didn't say anything more to Missy, not thinking he'd ever find the words. The door closed behind them and the ship lurched into flight on her own accord.

 

The Doctor led River to the medbay, taking Felix and putting him down in the warm cot the TARDIS had provided, hushing him while ordering scans of both his wife and son. 

 

A scan of Felix showed the baby in near perfect health. His lungs were not as strong as they could have been, and his brain development was slightly behind as well, but this could all be chalked up to the acceleration. River’s scan, on the other hand, was a different story. 

 

"I'm going to put you under, Riv," he murmured. "I've got to fix the bleed." 

 

She nodded, closing her eyes in preparation. The Doctor quickly gathered what he needed, placing a mask over River's mouth for the anesthetic. She was unconscious within seconds. 

 

\--x--

 

Between the procedure and the errands, the Doctor ran afterward, twelve hours had passed waiting for River to wake up. He'd moved her to their bedroom, knowing how much she disliked the medbay. 

 

Felix had calmed once more now that he wasn't being switched into different people's arms every five minutes. He was napping in his father's arms, the latter sitting next to the bed and waiting for River to show signs to consciousness. 

 

Her waking began with slight twitches in her hands until she finally opened her eyes. 

 

The Doctor squeezed her hand. "Riv?" 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

"How do you feel?" 

 

“Tired.” She murmured. 

 

"Can you remember what's happened?" 

 

She nodded weakly, closing her eyes again. 

 

He stood, hovering above her. He wasn't going push her to do much more talking but still wanted to make sure she was mentally intact. "Open your eyes, love. I need you to follow my finger."

 

She opened her eyes, this time successfully passing the test. ”Did that all really happen? Or was it just a nightmare?” 

 

"Really happened." He glanced at the newborn, knowing he was about to find out whether River's previous hesitation towards the baby was genuine or had just been the brain bleed. 

 

River didn’t say anything, looking at the baby and then quickly looking away. He swallowed, but knew now wasn't the time to press the subject. "I was going to call Vastra go to check on the kids." 

 

“Could you have Jack do it instead? I’d like to have Vastra come here.” 

 

He nodded. "Of course. Why don't you rest?"

 

She nodded, closing her eyes again. The Doctor watched her for a few more minutes before making the phone calls. 

 

“Doctor? Is everything alright?” Vastra answered the phone. 

 

"Not exactly." He sighed, launching into the best explanation he could manage of what had happened today, including how River was acting around Felix. 

 

Vastra didn’t say anything for a long moment, “It sounds like she might be suffering from Postpartum Depression, but I couldn’t be sure until I spent time with her myself.” She murmured. 

 

"Do you have time to come?" 

 

“Of course. I’ll have Jenny finish up on the case we’re working on.” She assured him. 

 

"See you in a moment." He hung up, then piloted one-handedly to Vastra's home since Felix occupied his other arm. 

 

She was waiting for him in the spot he usually landed. He stepped out with Felix to meet her, offering a weak smile to her. 

 

“Oh! Isn’t he precious.” She cooed over the baby, peering down at his face. Felix blinked tiredly up at Vasta. 

 

"Would you like to hold him?" 

 

“I would love to.” She nodded eagerly. He gently shifted his son over, who didn’t complain too much aside from some minimal whimpers. Vastra, as usual,  was wonderful at handling the newest Song child. “Has she held him yet?” She asked gently. 

 

“Yes, just to nurse him really.” He replied. 

 

“Perhaps I should go speak with her now.” She murmured. She was worried about what a traumatic delivery had done to her friend. 

 

“I’m not sure if she’s awake, but you can give it a go.” 


	81. Will You Still Need Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I should be happy, right?"
> 
> Vastra didn't say anything for a long moment. "Do you know what PPD is?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one today. Enjoy :)

**Ch 81**

 

"River?" Vastra called softly as she knocked on the bedroom door. The Time Lady hummed in response so Vastra cracked open the door and poked her head inside. 

 

River sat up at the sound of the door opening. 

 

Vastra entered more fully. "How are you feeling?" 

 

“I’m okay.” 

 

She didn't comment on the obvious lie. "Do you mind if I sit?" 

 

“I don’t mind.” 

 

Vastra placed herself in the chair the Doctor had pulled up before. She could smell the mess of hormones River was, which only supported her hypothesis. "The Doctor told me when happened." 

 

“I thought as much,” River murmured, “What did he say about it?” 

 

"That it was terrifying," she breathed. "I can't blame him for that one." 

 

“Blame him?” River seemed dazed, processing slower than usual. 

 

"Figure of speech," Vastra amended. "It would indeed concern me if his reaction was a small one. A lot has happened to you two in the last 48 hours." She glanced at the bandages on River's head. "More than anyone should have to go through in such a short time. His shock is understandable, expected really." 

 

"Yes, I guess you're right. We haven't talked much since it all happened." 

 

"Perhaps you should," she encouraged. 

 

"I don't want to talk to him. There's nothing to talk about." 

 

Vastra didn't argue with her, though she disagreed. "Well, I'm happy to lend an ear if you want it." 

 

"The whole thing just....felt like a nightmare," River sighed. 

 

"Does it still feel like that?" she asked carefully. 

 

"I don't know,” she paused. “I'm so...confused. I don’t know what I feel." 

 

“River, have you ever had any after effects from the births of your other children? 

 

"Well...there was the...thing with Arthur," River recalled, not really seeing what Vastra was getting at. 

 

"Yes, I suppose," she murmured, though it wasn't the information she was looking for. "And Terra?" 

 

"I don't think so?" River couldn't really remember the aborted timeline as well as her husband. 

 

Vastra nodded once more. "Would you mind telling me, if things had gone... the way you wanted, how would they have gone?" 

 

River was quiet for a minute. "He wouldn't have come early. He would have come when we were ready. We would have been here, in the TARDIS, not on some strange ship. We wouldn't have had to use that...thing that killed William." She put her hand over her mouth, the memory washing over her. Vastra put her hand on River's arm as a motion of comfort. "I wished he hadn't pushed me so much." 

 

This caught Vastra’s attention, though she remained quiet. River didn't say anything more, avoiding Vastra's gaze.  "Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked after a moment. 

 

"I don't know," River sighed. 

 

"That's alright." She offered a smile. "I'm glad I could be here."

 

"I'm sorry." 

 

“No need for that, River," she hummed. 

 

"I should be happy, right?" 

 

Vastra didn't say anything for a long moment. "Do you know what PPD is?" River shook her head. "It happens sometimes after a birth, no matter how well or poorly it goes." She started explaining it slowly, avoiding the word 'depression' lest she startled River. "I've seen it many times in many humans. There's a... failure for the body to produce enough oxytocin and regulate other postpartum hormones, which causes confusion and feelings of upset." 

 

"Well, I can't have that. The Time Lord side of my body wouldn't allow that to happen." River shook her head. 

 

"Possibly... but this isn't your first child. Your body's tolerance for the hormone fluctuations has likely changed." 

 

"So...what am I supposed to do about this?" She asked, not knowing what this "diagnosis" meant. 

 

"There are a few things you can do. I would suggest a medication to help balance things, but ultimately it's your choice." 

 

"Have you talked to the Doctor about this?" 

 

“I informed him about my suspicion,” Vastra admitted. 

 

River nodded slowly. “Well, we’ll have to discuss this.” 

 

"Of course. I can bring him in…?" 

 

“Alright,” River agreed nodded. 

 

Vastra rose to fetch the Doctor. They were murmuring about the diagnosis when they came back, something close to, "Are you sure?" and, "Yes. My nose doesn't lie to me." 

 

"River and I have been discussing possible treatment," Vastra explained. 

 

The Doctor handed Felix over to Vastra and sat by River. "And?" 

 

"I thought that we should talk about it first," River murmured. 

 

He nodded. "Do you feel like Vastra's right?" 

 

"I don't know," River shook her head, "I feel so, overwhelmed." 

 

"...Maybe we should wait a few days to decide." He suggested, glancing at Vastra. 

 

Vastra nodded, "I do think we need to talk more about what happened when Felix was born." She hadn't forgotten what River had said. 

 

"How do you mean?" 

 

"You two need to talk about Felix's birth. It seems as though it was a very traumatic event for both of you, and you need to discuss any remaining feelings about it before we proceed with anything else." 

 

"I..." He swallowed, looking back at River. Since River had been so deflective about it, he wasn't prepared to have the conversation so soon. "I wish I'd left you at home." 

 

"I wish Missy had never come here." She shook her head. 

 

Vastra moved to the corner of the room with the baby as to make the other two feel like they had more privacy.

 

"I don't expect you to ever forgive me for letting her," he said. River crossed her arms, looking away from him. His hearts tightened, but really he shouldn't have expected any different reaction. "I'm sorry. You don't have to condone that... but I am sorry." 

 

"It's fine," she whispered. 

 

"It's not fine, River. You and Felix almost died because of my decisions. It was selfish. I was selfish." 

 

"It was my decision to go. I could have stayed home if I wanted to." 

 

"I know." Neither of them could've predicted what Missy would do, but he felt like he should have after what happened the night before. "But I should've been more careful." 

 

She shook her head, "It's my fault. I knew the risks, I had been reading about stress causing preterm labor and I should have taken that into account." 

 

"We couldn't have accounted for the TARDIS malfunctioning." It should've been a quick trip. They should have gone right home to their children who were now being occupied by their uncle at the house. 

 

"I wish that once it all started happening that..." She stopped herself, trying to find a gentler way to phrase what she was trying to say, "It felt like we were out of sync." 

 

He nodded slowly. "How so?" 

 

"It felt like there was a distance between us. I felt like Missy had a better understanding of what I needed when I was in labor." She tried to phrase it as gently as possible. 

 

"Oh." He said quietly, recalling Missy's surprising helpfulness and letting the realization sink in. "I... oh." 

 

River fell silent again. He wanted to apologize again but felt like sorry was the wrong thing to say and there wasn't exactly a clear way to make up for what already happened. "I should've been there for you." 

 

"It's not your fault. Felix needed the attention." River understood that he did what needed to be done, but she wished things could have gone differently. 

 

"He's in the clear now." He said in the same tone. "And whatever happens next, I'm going to be there for you." 

 

She nodded slowly, “I know.” 

 

Felix started whining in the corner, reminding them that Vastra was still there. River looked a bit startled by the baby’s cry, “He’s probably getting hungry.” 

 

The Doctor nodded. "I tried to give him formula while you were sleeping. He didn't like it." 

 

“I can feed him.” she offered, holding her arms out to take him. 

 

Vastra came over and lowered Felix into her arms. 

 

“Hello, my love,” she murmured, kissing his forehead. Felix seemed to calm down a little, still fussing a bit. “Let’s get you fed, hmm?” River seemed a bit more relaxed than before as she got him started on feeding. 

 

Felix calmed down immediately once he was nursing. 

 

“We’re going to have to introduce him to his brother and sisters soon,” River said. 

 

"What are we going to tell them about your head?" 

 

“I don’t know… We could tell them a variation of the truth I suppose.” 

 

The Doctor nodded, knowing the girls were too clever to fall for anything else. They wouldn't need to mention Missy, though. 

 

“When should we get them?” 

 

"Not until you feel you're ready." He recalled her saying she wanted some time. 

 

“Do they know about the baby?” 

 

"No. I told Jack to just tell them we were having trouble with the TARDIS." 

 

“Okay, good.” She muttered. 

 

"I think I'll put on some tea." Vastra murmured, excusing herself. 

 

“How are you feeling?” River asked the Doctor, watching the baby. 

 

He looked slightly surprised by the question. He wanted to say guilty, but instead said, "Like I'm coming off a rollercoaster." 

 

She nodded in understanding. “He looks like you.” 

 

"Does he?" He peered over at their son who was now done eating in favor of napping. 

 

"He has your eyes and your nose." She pointed out. 

 

"Your hair, your mouth." He added with a small smile. 

 

She smiled weakly, "I think he looks more like you than he looks like me." 

 

"It that a good thing?" 

 

She shrugged, " _ I _ think it's a good thing." 

 

Felix yawned and opened his eyes briefly to peer up at his parents. River smiled weakly, "Hello there, my love." 

 

_ Tired.  _ He thought. 

 

_ "Sleep." _ She soothed, and looked up at the Doctor, "What to hold him?" 

 

He nodded as Vastra returned with a tray of tea and scones. River gently passed their son over to the Doctor as Vastra placed the tray on the nightstand. She offered a cup to each adult. 

 

"Thank you." River murmured. 

 

Vastra smiled at them and looked at Felix. "He's beautiful, River. I’m glad he’s alright." 

 

"Thank you." She smiled, "He was worth all the trouble." 

 

"Does he have a middle name?" She asked. 

 

"Not yet." River shook her head, "We still have to think of one." 

 

"What have you thought of so far?" 

 

"I don't know. We haven't really discussed it much. Though Arthur is hoping it'll be Jack." 

 

Vastra looked pleased with that suggestion, while the Doctor appeared less so. 

 

"Do you have any other ideas?" River looked at her husband. 

 

"Well, er, no. Not yet..." 

 

"Well, we do need to think of one eventually," River sighed. 

 

"If you don't like Jack, perhaps a variation of it might suit better. Like Jacob or Jackson?" Vastra offered. 

 

"That could work." River nodded, "Felix Jacob Song?" 

 

"I like that." The Doctor nodded. 

 

River smiled softly, "So it's a compromise then." 

 

“It’s lovely.” Vastra hummed. 

 

Much of the rest of the day was spent watching over the little baby as he napped. He woke up a few times, the longest of which was used to nurse again and stare in fascination at a lock of his mother’s hair. 

 

The adults decided that River would be put on medication for the next week to try and get her hormones in balance and that the other Song children would be introduced to their brother the next day.  

 

Vastra took the invitation to stay the night and later helped the Doctor move the cot into his room so Felix could stay near his parents while they slept. 


	82. The Moon and Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor rocked his son until he fell back asleep, noticing a figure in the door. The figure wasn't Vastra or River, the two occupied elsewhere in the TARDIS. The Doctor's eyebrows shot up with surprise, then back down with reprimand. "You're supposed to be with your uncle!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved doing the little plot arch that starts in this chapter. Enjoy!

**Ch 82**

 

The next morning, the two parents were woken to the sound of their son's cries. WEll, one of them was as River slept through it, leaving the Doctor on baby duty. 

 

He tried not to disturb the bed as he rose and walked over to the cot. He scooped the boy up, hushing him. “What’s the matter, hm?” 

 

Felix whined hungrily, waving his arms in the air. The Doctor let Felix wrap his tiny fist around his finger with a small sigh, knowing he’d have to wake River up. "I know." He soothed, moving to wake River. 

 

River looked quite content in her sleep and the Doctor hesitated at how peaceful she looked. "How would you feel about a bottle for now?" He asked Felix. 

 

Felix whined again in response, not understanding why he wasn’t eating yet. 

 

"Well let's give it a shot, hm?" He kept a gentle tone, taking the crying baby to fetch some formula. He prepared the bottle as quickly as possible, offering it to Felix when it was ready. 

 

Felix tentatively took the bottle, though he soon started whining again and refusing to drink it. The Doctor sighed, resolving that he would actually have to wake his wife. 

 

He headed back to the bedroom and gently sat on the edge of the bed before tapping River’s shoulder.

 

"What is it?" River murmured sleepily, sitting up when the Doctor woke her. 

 

"Felix is hungry." He gestured to the crying infant in his arms. "He wouldn't take a bottle." 

 

"Okay," she nodded groggily, sitting up a bit more and holding out her arms. He shifted Felix over. Felix settled against her quickly. 

 

The Doctor smiled weakly, "How's your head?" 

 

"Feeling better." 

 

"That's good," he said tiredly. 

 

"How was your sleep?" 

 

"Light," he answered. 

 

"You can go back to bed if you want." She offered, "I can take care of Felix." 

 

“You’re still healing. I’d rather you rest as much as you can.” 

 

"I'm fine." She insisted. 

 

"Alight..." he sounded hesitant but took her offer and slipped back under the covers. 

 

River watched the baby as he fed, smoothing back his little hairs. Felix looked up at her, much calmer than when the Doctor had tried to feed him formula. He projected the recent memory to her with the complaint.  _ Bad food.  _

 

"I'm sorry, sweetie." She whispered, "It's alright. You don't have to have that again." 

 

He echoed back his current state of content with hints of soft purple. Once he was done nursing, River sat with the baby resting on her chest. Felix fell asleep again quite easily, full and warm against River. River began to fall asleep as well, closing her eyes. 

 

In the morning, Vastra made breakfast for the Songs. Felix woke early and didn't hesitate to wake his parents as well. River was the first of the two to jolt awake this time since Felix was right on her chest. 

 

He was whining again.  _ Cold. _

 

"Okay, sweetie, okay." She soothed, starting to stand up, still cradling him close to her. 

 

The Doctor stirred, waking to the sight of the two of them together. River was standing by now, a bit shaky on her legs still.  

 

"Morning," he murmured, making himself known. 

 

"Morning." She called back, "I wanted to get him dressed in something warmer." 

 

He smiled. "Did he wake you?"  

 

"Yeah, he's cold." She explained. There was a small stack of folded baby clothes on the dresser that they’d taken from the nursery yesterday. River rocked Felix back and forth as she went through the clothes, trying to find something warmer for him. 

 

The Doctor slipped out of bed coming up behind her She looked slightly frustrated, "I don't know what to do." 

 

"You said he's cold, yeah?" he said softly. 

 

She nodded, feeling the familiar beginnings of anxiety bubbling up. "Yes, he's cold. There's... so many clothes here." She surveyed the pile of clothes. 

 

"Let me help," he offered, plucking the first warm looking thing from the pile. It a was fuzzy blue, sleeved onesie. 

 

River let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you." 

 

"It's what I'm here for." 

 

"Can you help me change him?" She asked, turning back towards the bed to lay the baby down. 

 

The Doctor nodded, Felix still fussing. 

 

She set the baby down on the bed, attempting to change him into the a. Felix squirmed in resistance, not liking having his original clothes taken off. "It's alright." River soothed, trying to verbally comfort him, "It's okay." 

 

He whined through the whole changing and didn't calm down until he was being held again. "He's so fussy." She murmured, holding him tightly. 

 

"Terra was fussy whenever we changed her, remember?" 

 

"A bit." She nodded, "I feel like I'm doing something wrong when he fusses so much." 

 

"I promise you're doing fine." The Doctor kissed her cheek. 

 

She smiled weakly. "Thank you." 

 

"Something smells wonderful. Shall we see what Vastra made?" She nodded and they walked to the kitchen with the baby. 

 

Vastra was there already making sausages and eggs among other things. "Good morning." 

 

River smiled, "You didn't have to make all of this." 

 

"Oh, it's no trouble." Vastra hummed. 

 

"Still, you've outdone yourself." 

 

"You flatter; you haven't even tasted it." She distributed the food onto three plates. 

 

River sat down in one of the chairs, "I'm afraid that'll be a bit difficult." She was still holding Felix. 

 

“May I?” Vastra asked. 

 

"You should eat first." River suggested. 

 

“If you insist.” She sat down with them.

 

About ten minutes into the meal, Felix began to grow fussy again, whimpering and squirming. 

 

"He must be hungry again." The Doctor observed. 

 

"I'll go feed him." River stood, heading for the door. The other didn't follow, giving her her privacy. 

 

"I was thinking, perhaps we could do something to cheer her up," Vastra commented. 

 

The Doctor knew that this wasn't exactly something a simple cheer-up could completely solve, but the thought was nice. "Like what?" 

 

"Flowers, possibly?" She suggested, "Something small to at least brighten her day a bit." 

 

He nodded, "Good idea." 

 

"When did you two want to pick up your children?" 

 

"I'd have to ask River, but probably before lunch." 

 

The two continued to speak throughout the remainder of breakfast, River never returning. The Doctor began to grow worried, glancing at the doorway often as if expecting River to come through. 

 

"You should go check on her," Vastra suggested, noticing his worried glances. 

 

He stood. "Thank you for breakfast." 

 

She nodded, "Of course." 

 

He left to find River. The woman was back in their room, sitting on the bed. Felix was nowhere to be seen. 

 

“River?” He frowned slightly, evaluating the scene. 

 

"Yeah?" She looked up at him. 

 

“Are you alright...?” 

 

"I'm fine." She nodded. 

 

“I thought you’d join us for breakfast.” He explained. 

 

"I wasn't hungry." She excused, "I'm sorry." 

 

"It's alright." He glanced around. "Where's Felix?" 

 

"In the nursery." 

 

He nodded, assuming Felix was napping. He thought about Vastra's suggestion, considering how and when to execute it. "Do you need anything?" 

 

“I’m okay.” She shook her head. 

 

“Vastra was wondering when we’d get the kids.” 

 

River tensed a bit, "I don't know...after lunch perhaps?" 

 

He nodded, wanting her to be comfortable. “We can do that.” 

 

They chatted for a short while until they heard Felix crying from the other room. River tensed when the baby began to cry. 

 

“I can take care of it,” the Doctor offered. 

 

“Okay,” River agreed, letting her breath out. The Doctor rose, heading to the nursery. 

 

The Doctor scooped the baby up from his cot when he got there, hushing him. "What's the matter, hm?" He waggled a finger at the boy, holding him close to his chest. 

 

Felix didn’t settle down but the smell gave away that he needed changing. The Doctor brought Felix over to the changing table that was in the room, getting him cleaned up. After he was changed Felix stopped crying, quite content to fall back asleep in the Doctor's arms. 

 

The Doctor rocked his son until he fell back asleep, noticing a figure in the door. The figure wasn't Vastra or River, the two occupied elsewhere in the TARDIS. The Doctor's eyebrows shot up with surprise, then back down with reprimand. "You're supposed to be with your uncle!" 

 

Freya stood in the doorway. "We were worried so I came to find you. What happened?" 

 

"How did you--" He started before noticing the Time Hopper on her wrist. Still not answering her question yet he asked, "Does Jack know you're here?" 

 

"No. Mia promised to cover for me. You're not answering my question though. What happened? He's so early. Where's Mum?” 

 

"You're just like your mum," he said under his breath, then came over to her with Felix still in his arms. "It's a bit complicated. The TARDIS malfunctioned and we landed in a bad situation." 

 

"So what happened?" She pressed, her tone only growing harder. "You can't just pretend everything is fine." 

 

"Freya," he warned. "You know you're not supposed to be here. Your mother and I were planning on telling you what happened,  _ together _ ." 

 

"Why won't you just tell me? Why are you always keeping secrets?" She was getting angry now, "What's going on?" 

 

Felix stirred at his sister's loud voice, starting to whine.

 

"My love, please calm down," the Doctor said gently. "I can't explain anything if you're shouting." 

 

She shut her mouth and she crossed her arms, glaring at him. He lowered the bundle of blankets so she could see. "Let's start with introductions then." 

 

"No." Freya shook her head, not coming any closer, "Tell me what happened first." She insisted. 

 

He sighed. "That bad situation I mentioned... your mum got hurt and went into preterm labour. We had a thing—a device that we fixed up so Felix's growth was sped up, so when your mum gave birth to him he wasn’t underdeveloped… mostly." 

 

"Why did she get hurt? Where is she?" 

 

"She got hurt because I made the wrong decisions when I was trying to get us home. She's in our bedroom resting." 

 

"Why didn't you just come home when the TARDIS malfunctioned? Why did you get out of the ship?" 

 

"We told you we were going to Yago before we left, remember. When we got out and realized that wasn't where we were, the HADS activated and the TARDIS disappeared before we could get back inside," he explained. "Your mum is okay now. I had to operate on her head, so she's got a bandage there now. I don’t want you to panic when you see it.” 

 

"What?" Freya only became more alarmed, "How hurt was she? What happened?" 

 

"She got hit very hard in the head and got a brain bleed," he started down the hall, gesturing for her to follow. 

 

"How?" She frowned. 

 

They arrived outside the bedroom. "...I'm going to let your mother explain that part." The story was getting dangerously close to Missy and he'd so far managed to exclude her from the tale. "Will you wait here for a moment? I'm going to tell her you're here." 

 

Freya nodded and stayed put. 

 

River was in their bedroom, head in hands.

 

"River?" He called softly. 

 

"Yes?" She murmured, pulling herself together. 

 

He sat on the edge of the bed, "Is there anything I can do?"

 

"I don't want to kids to see me like this." She whispered. 

 

"You could start the medication early if you feel ready for it." He offered. 

 

"I don't know." She murmured, "If I start the medication early then I can't feed Felix and he's refused to take a bottle." 

 

“We could bottle some of your milk for him." It wasn't a permanent solution, but it gave them time to think of something else. 

 

She nodded slowly, "Okay, we can do that." 

 

He offered a smile stealing himself for what was coming next. "Riv, there's something I have to tell you. Your daughter got a little impatient with Jack..." 

 

River frowned. "How do you mean?" 

 

He took a breath. "She used her Time Hopper to sneak away and now she's here." 

 

"What? She shouldn't be here." 

 

"I know. She insists on seeing you." 

 

"I don't want her to see me like this." 

 

"I can tell her you were sleeping," he offered. 

 

"Okay..." she sighed. 

 

He kissed her cheek, then went back out to Freya in the hall. "I'm afraid you can't go in right now," he murmured. 

 

"Why not?" She frowned 

 

"She's- her pain medication makes her very drowsy, so she's not wake." 

 

"Oh....can I see her soon?" 

 

He nodded, though he wasn't sure how River would feel. "I want you to call Jack and apologize." 

 

She crossed her arms, defensive again. "Why? I think what I did was fair. We deserve to know what's going on, you can't hide things from us, especially important things like this." 

 

“We weren't keeping secrets, we were preparing ourselves to tell you all. Look, Freya, you still ran away and Jack's probably worried and looking for you. Call him." 

 

“No! I’m not apologizing for something I’m not sorry for.” 

 

"Would you rather I take away your Time Hopper for a month?" He cocked an eyebrow at her, his tone severe. 

 

She scowled at him, “I’m not a baby, I’m an adult and can make my own choices.” 

 

"Then I expect you're grown up enough to accept the consequences of those choices." 

 

“Ugh! I hate you!” She shouted, punching coordinates into her Hopper and teleporting away. 

 

The Doctor stood there stunned as Felix started crying again. Pulling it together, he went to call Jack to check if Freya had gone back there. 

 

“Hey, Doc! What’s up?” Jack asked, sounding slightly panicked as he answered the phone. 

 

"I've just had a visit from my oldest. She stormed out on me... I don't suppose she's gone back to the Hub?" 

 

“Erm... no, she’s not back yet.” 

 

His stomach sank. "Did Amelia say anything? She might know..." 

 

“She keeps saying that Freya’s working on a project for school at a friends house.” Jack huffed, “I haven’t gotten anything out of her.”

 

The Doctor sighed, trying to hush Felix. "Would you put her on the line please?" 

 

There was a ‘yes’ and a moment of shuffling. “Hello?” Amelia’s voice came over the phone. 

 

The Doctor smiled weakly, "Hey, it's Dad." 

 

“Who’s that crying?” 

 

"It's your little brother. Er... I promise I'll explain everything, I just need you to tell me where Freya might be." 

 

“She’s working a project at someone’s house.” Amelia stated, “Is everything okay? Isn’t Felix super early? Where’s mum?” 

 

"Yes, he's early, but he and mum are fine, I promise." He sighed, really wanting to deal with one thing at a time. "Now, Amelia, I know Freya's not at a friend's house because she was just here with me. I need you to help me find her." 

 

Amelia frowned at this, “I don’t know where she is. She said only told me she was going to see you.” 

 

"She got angry with me, so she left." He admitted slowly. "And since she's not with you guys... do you have any ideas?" 

 

“Maybe Brett’s house?” Amelia suggested. 

 

"I'll check there. Thank you." 

 

“Yeah. No problem.” 

 

The phone got shifted back to Jack. "Can you keep the kids a bit longer?" the Doctor asked. 

 

“Sure thing, Doc.” 

 

"Let them know that I promise we'll come back today." 

 

“I will.” He assured, hanging up. 

 

Still trying to comfort Felix, the Doctor sent a text to Freya's phone, then phoned Brett's parents. After a dead end with the phone call and no response from Freya, the Doctor moved his attention to the day old baby who was now wailing. 

 

"Let's get you some food, hmm?" He looked at the little face that was red from crying. "Shh, shh. It's alright." He rocked Felix as he headed back to the bedroom. 


	83. From My Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He gave River the tracking number when they got to the console. "The trouble about using a Hopper in the TARDIS and that she could be anywhere the TARDIS has been or will be within the last or next 100 years."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Ch 83**

 

The Doctor reentered the bedroom with his wailing son, finding River in the same position she was before. "Hey, Riv." He murmured, voice quiet compared to their son. 

 

She sat up a little more. “What’s wrong?” 

 

"He's hungry," the Doctor answered. “Again.” 

 

“Okay.” She nodded, holding her arms out. “Where’s Freya?” 

 

He handed the baby over, then hesitated with the answer, not wanting to stress her more than she already was. His second thoughts reminded him that she'd probably find it less forgivable if he withheld the information. "I... Don't know." 

 

“What?” Her face paled.

 

He explained the situation as the baby nursed and how Freya got upset. “Every phone call I’ve made was a dead end.”

 

“We have to go find her.” River looked worried, trying to get out of bed. Felix whimpered when River moved, milk dribbling out of his mouth. 

 

"I'm already on it." He assured. "Please, you've got to stay in bed." 

 

“I can’t just sit here while our daughter is missing!” She was growing more upset, not even hearing the whimpering baby. 

 

"I promise I'm going to find her, Riv, but you're no good to her if you push yourself to the point of injury." 

 

She sighed, “But I want to help. I  _ have _ to help.” 

 

He tried to think of some sort of compromise. "What if you stayed in the console and acted as my eyes and ears? I'll keep an earpiece in." 

 

“Fine.” She agreed. 

 

Felix was starting to wail again, trying to get his mother’s attention since she wasn’t feeding him. The Doctor looked down at him. "He needs help latching on again." 

 

“Oh, um...” River frowned, refocusing on the baby as she shakily repositioned him to nurse again.

 

She looked up at the feeling of the Doctor’s hand on her arm. She met his eye, finding them as equally worried as she was. “Are you okay?” She asked softly. 

 

He shook his head. "I feel like I'm saying all the wrong things to the kids." 

 

She held her arm out, inviting him for a hug. 

 

He accepted, mindful of Felix. "It's so hard to lie to them." There were things, of course, that were always going to stay private, like the events on Gallifrey and Missy. "I don't know how to help them understand. It's not as simple anymore as 'Mummy got hurt but she's fine now.' They ask questions that I can't answer. I... I don't want them to feel left out or like I've demeaned them." 

 

“I know.” She soothed, rubbing his arm and pressing a kiss to his head, “Maybe...we need to start telling them the truth—Amelia and Freya at least.” 

 

He nodded and they both sighed at the same time. The Doctor helped her sit back on the bed with Felix. He sat with them and held River close, wanting to comfort her as much as her touch did for him. She pressed her forehead to his jaw, the two sitting like that for a short while. Felix finished nursing, quiet and sleepy once more. 

 

Vastra knocked after a while, coming to check on them. After the Songs explained to her what happened, Vastra offered to hold Felix for them while they searched for Freya.

 

The Doctor's phone buzzed and he pulled it out quickly hoping it was his daughter. "Jack's sent me the tracking number for Freya's Time Hopper," he murmured. 

 

"Okay. Let's go find her. And we're taking those Time Hoppers away." River started to get up. 

 

The Doctor kept an arm around River as they all headed to the console room. They walked slowly— River's body still ached and she wasn't entirely stable. Vastra voiced her worries while the Doctor wisely didn't try to change River's mind. 

 

He gave River the tracking number when they got to the console. "The trouble about using a Hopper in the TARDIS and that she could be anywhere the TARDIS has been or will be within the last or next 100 years." 

 

River's eyes widened, "Anywhere?" 

 

"Yes." the Doctor swallowed. "Anywhere." 

 

“Okay. If we think this through we can narrow things down. Why did she get angry?” 

 

"I told her she had a choice between apologizing to Jack or having her Hopper taken away. She accused me of keeping secrets and 'treating her like a baby'."

 

“I bet she went to find out what happened. That’s what she would do if she thought you were lying.” 

 

The Doctor’s hearts tightened at the realization of where exactly that was. Scrambling for the controls, he punched in the tracking number and set the scan to look at the Mondasian colony ship. 

 

Sure enough, Freya’s location appeared on the ship. It looked like their daughter was on the level they had last been on. "Oh god..." The Doctor was stunned speechless, looking between the screen and his wife. 

 

“She’s going to find Missy.” River breathed. “Get the vortex manipulator. I’m coming with you.”

 

"I thought we agreed you'd stay?" He fretted. 

 

"But this changes things, I can't stay knowing that she's there." 

 

He sighed, knowing he'd do the same thing in her position. "Vastra, please keep an eye on Felix? Contact us if anything happens." 

 

The woman nodded, hesitant about letting River go. 

 

He kissed Felix's forehead, taking River's hand. "I don't suppose there's any talking you out of this?" 

 

She shook her head, "Not a chance." 

 

He keyed in the coordinates on the vortex manipulator. "Okay... but please to push yourself. You're still healing." 

 

Just as they were about to leave, an incoming message popped onto the scanner screen. The Doctor pulled the monitor around to read it. 

 

_ Come retrieve your offspring before I boot her down to the lower floors for being irritating. -M  _

 

"Damn it," he muttered, showing it to River. River looked panicked, putting a hand to her head. 

 

"River, are you sure you're going to be alright?" Vastra asked. 

 

"I'm fine." She nodded, "Let's go." 

 

Not looking convinced, the Doctor activated the device and the two of them dematerialized. Soon, they were back on the ship, in the same field they had left from. 

 

The place looked absolutely demolished. Where trees and grass once stood, there was ash and soot. River was quiet and tense against the onslaught of recent memories. 

 

"I don't think they're on this floor anymore," the Doctor whispered, still holding onto her. 

 

"How will we find them?" She whispered. 

 

He pulled his sonic out, scanning the area. "There's another solar farm five floors up. We should check there… Are you okay?” 

 

She nodded solemnly. 

 

He still looked worried. "We should find a lift." 

 

"Do you remember where they were?" 

 

"Em..." He soniced the air again briefly before getting a locked signal. "Few minute's walk that way." 

 

“Right…” River sighed as they started in the direction of the lifts. 

 

"They should still be working," the Doctor murmured upon spotting them. 

 

They were silent as they rode up, trying not to let the recent memories drown them. When the lift doors opened, the scene looked much like the floor they had been on was supposed to look like: A green field was in front of them, a collection of cottages in the distance.  

 

Before they could take two steps forward, guns were suddenly being pointed at their heads. "On your knees. Now!" 

 

The two immediately got down. “We’re here to see Missy.” River spoke. 

 

"How do you know about her?" A woman asked. It was the same blond-ish woman who had allowed them sanctuary in the house last time they were there. She seemed older by at least a few years. 

 

“We were with her when she first arrived.” 

 

The woman lowered her gun. "You're... the Songs?” 

 

River nodded, relaxing slightly. 

 

The others followed her lead, putting their guns down as well. "Follow me." 

 

River grabbed her husband's hand, following behind them. The two of them were lead towards the cottages, which they could see as they got closer were surrounded by barbed wire. 

 

There was someone waiting for them on the front porch of one of the cottages. A woman dressed in Victorian attire, looking rather smug. 

 

The Doctor's expression hardened. "Where's my daughter?" He asked when she was within hearing distance. 

 

“Oh, will you hold on a minute? I’m trying to remember every detail of this moment: The day you two came crawling back.” Missy smiled. 

 

"You know we didn't have a choice," he hissed. "Where's Freya?" 

 

“Upstairs. I had to tie her to a chair because she wouldn’t stop trying to attack me.” 

 

"You what!?" 

 

“Oh, calm down. She’s fine!  _ I _ , on the other hand, have a rather nasty bruise.” 

 

"I don't care." They burst into the cottage. 

 

Freya was sitting on the couch, not tied up or trying to attack anyone. The time hopper was no longer around her wrist but in Missy’s hand. 

 

"Freya..." The Doctor started. 

 

Freya crosses her arms and looked away, not speaking.

 

He glanced back at River. "Maybe you should—” 

 

“What the hell were you thinking?!” River shouted. 

 

The Doctor and Freya flinched, the latter squaring her jaw and responding in a similar tone. "I was thinking I wanted the truth! I guess that isn't a concept you or dad is familiar with." 

 

“Nothing that we told you was a lie. We didn’t tell you everything because we weren’t ready to share it. It’s not up to you to decide how much of this situation you get to know!” River was not taking the soft approach the Doctor hoped she would. 

 

“Were you even planning on telling me about  _ this _ ?” Freya made a gesture to the room and Missy, who was now standing behind her parents. “About  _ her _ ??” 

 

“We weren’t ready to talk about it, Freya! It’s not up to you to decide how much information we share with you! If we want to keep something private then we have that right. You don’t have a time hopper so you can undermine our authority!” River hadn’t ever been this angry at one of her children before. 

 

"We're a  _ family, _ we shouldn't have to keep things like this private!" Freya was just as loud as her mother, red-faced at this point as angry tears sprung to the corners of her eyes. 

 

Missy mimed drinking a cup of tea as she delightedly watched the fight play out. 

 

"This isn't hiding our Christmas presents, this is-- this is your life! This is  _ my _ life! This is the woman who tried to kill you when you had Arthur and succeeded and she almost did it again!” Freya continued. “You could have died,  _ again _ . I could've lost another brother—how could you keep that from us? How can you be so selfish?! You-you could have just disappeared and never come back and neither you or dad would've said a damn word!"  

 

“Do you want to know what happened? Is that what will make you happy?” 

 

"Do you think I trekked out to ship full of Cybermen because I  _ didn't _ want the truth?" Freya hissed.  

 

“Fine! Here’s the whole fucking story since you think you’re so ready for it!” River was spilling everything before the Doctor could interrupt. “Missy’s regeneration energy was reinstated by the new Gallifreyan council a few years ago. There was a new one because your father destroyed the old council in cold blood when Rassilon forced me to miscarry and nearly killed me in the process.” 

 

“You were—!?” 

 

River put up a hand, not finished. “Missy got herself into some sort of trouble with the Executioners and your father was called to watch over her for a thousand years. We put her in a vault under the university and later in the TARDIS when complications arose. We didn’t want you four to constantly be worrying about her like we were so we decided not to tell you. We accelerated Missy’s time so she was almost finished with her sentence.” She was talking at fast, not able to stop herself. “We were trying to teach her to be good but she fucked us over by tampering with the controls and sending us here to give her a final test. The stress sent me into preterm labor and your brother would have died if Missy hadn’t helped. Your father and I weren’t ready to talk about it, we haven’t even talked about it with each other let alone with you. So are you happy now, Freya?!” She looked like she might explode, furious and upset.

 

The three others stared at her. Freya stood and ran from the room out the back door. River didn’t move, just letting her go. 

 

"Is one of you going to go after her, or should I?" Missy spoked up, tapping her chin. 

 

River turned to glare at Missy before she and the Doctor followed, the latter shocked into silence. 

 

The back door was open and Freya could be seen racing across the green fields away from the house. She was already small in the distance, not seeming to have a particular direction aside from away from them. 

 

They started after her at a jog, though river hardly had the energy or the strength to run. The Doctor wanted to keep pace with River, but Freya was much faster and he was worried they might lose track of her. "River, do you want me to run ahead?" 

 

She shook her head, “Let her go. She’ll tire herself out eventually.” They slowed to a walk, out of breath already. 

 

"Why... why did you tell her all of that?" 

 

“Because she needs to learn that there are reasons behind our lies and why we don’t always tell the whole story.” River’s expression was hard. “She shouldn’t have pulled this stunt if she didn’t want to hear the truth.” 

 

"What I mean is that I thought we were going to tell it to her in a more," he paused to think of the word, "controlled way." 

 

“I don’t know. Being here....it’s so hard.” Her shoulders slumped as the weight of her outburst started to settle. 

 

"My love, I think you should go back to the TARDIS. I know you're worried about Freya, but this place isn't good for you. Being near Missy isn't good for you... and after what just happened, I think you need to let me take care of this part." 

 

“I’m fine.” She tried to insist, though there were tears in her eyes. 

 

He stopped them, putting his hands on her shoulders. "River, you're not. You're really not." He hadn't really seen her this upset since Gallifrey, and certainly not this angry. "And as much as I know you want to help with this, you need to focus on yourself." 

 

“But we only have the one Vortex manipulator,” she pointed out. 

 

"Missy has Freya's time hopper." He pointed out, then thought for a moment and added, "And if we're not back in two hours, then you'll know where to find us." 

 

“Okay, fine.” she gave in. 

 

He kissed her cheek. "You can watch us from the console. I promise I'll shout if there's trouble." 

 

River sighed, squeezing his hand before punching in the VM coordinates and disappearing. 


	84. The Skeletons in the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "See that, hmm?" The Doctor murmured in a soothing voice. Felix’s eyes stayed fixed on the whale and his cries died down into whimpers. "This is Lulu." The Doctor continued "He used to belong to your big brother… Do you want to try, Riv?" He offered.
> 
> "No." She shook her head, looking away. "...I want to start my medication."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So starting now we decided to start adding flashbacks. Look out for those in italics in this and future chapters. Enjoy :)

**Ch 84**

 

The Doctor looked around once River dematerialized, no longer seeing his daughter. He started running in the direction she'd gone, hoping to catch up. 

 

Like River had predicted, Freya did tire herself out. Though she was still far ahead of her father, she was now laying down in the grass. He called her name as he got closer. "Freya? Freya?"

 

She sat up a bit but didn’t say anything. 

 

He eventually spotted the top of her hair in the tall grass, coming over. "There you are." She still didn’t say a word, turning her face away. He sat down near her, catching his breath. 

 

The silence carried out for a good few minutes before he broke it. "Are you alright?" 

 

The girl shrugged her shoulders. 

 

"I know that was a lot to take in back there... I'm sorry that mum yelled at you. She's—we're—er, it's been a long few days. I know that's no excuse, but today's been a shock to everyone." 

 

“Where is mum?” Freya asked. 

 

"I sent her back to the TARDIS," he admitted. 

 

Freya looked at her father. He could see that she’d been crying, eyes red and watery. His hearts clenched at the sight of her tears and he opened his arms to offer physical comfort. 

 

"I'm sorry." She whispered, leaning in to hug him. 

 

He wrapped his arms around her. "It's alright. It's alright." 

 

"I didn't know." She sobbed. 

 

"I know." He soothed, stroking her hair back. "I know you didn't." 

 

She cried for quite a while, holding onto him. He said nothing for a while until her sobbing started to die down. "Do you have any questions? About what Mum told you, I mean." 

 

"Are you… is Missy your friend now?" Freya asked, remembering that her mother said that Missy had saved the baby. 

 

"Not exactly. What she did in the past is unforgivable, but I've been spending a lot of time making sure she'll never do it again to anyone and I believe she won't." 

 

She nodded, "Are you and Mum okay?" 

 

"No." He said honestly. "But we will be." 

 

Freya was quiet for a while, "How old was the other baby? The one you lost." 

 

"Only 6 or 8 weeks along if I remember," he whispered. 

 

“And that’s why you were so upset when you got back.” 

 

He nodded. "One of the reasons, yes. Your mother and I were still dealing with my, em, recent death, so there was that, too." 

 

They were quiet for another minute. "Freya, do you know what PPD is?" 

 

The girl shook her head no. 

 

“It’s another name for postpartum depression.” He explained. “Your mother has it, it’s part of the reason we were so hesitant to come home immediately.” 

 

“So...Mum has depression?” She asked, trying to understand. River had been managing depression and anxiety since she was a teenager, but what the Doctor was talking about was a bit different.

 

“Yes, a special kind. Her hormones can’t balance themselves correctly right now, so she can have mood swings and disconnect from the people close to her.” 

 

“Is that why she got so mad?” 

 

“She’d have been angry either way, but I think it’s why she yelled the way she did.” 

 

“Oh...will it go away?” 

 

"Yes, hopefully. PPD is different from general depression since it’s often short term. There’s a medicine for it, but she hasn't taken it yet because it would get into her breastmilk and harm Felix." 

 

“Can we go back to the TARDIS now?” Freya asked. 

 

“Of course.” He nodded. 

 

She looked a bit relieved, standing up. He stood, too, glancing around. The air was static and he felt like they were being watched. 

 

“Missy took my time hopper.” Freya huffed. 

 

"We're going to get it back," he said distractedly. 

 

Freya nodded, starting to head back. He followed, keeping alert to their surroundings. On the edges of his vision, he could swear he saw flashes of silver. Freya didn't seem to notice, trekking along. 

 

The Cybermen should've had cause to go after them, the Doctor reasoned in his head. The reason they went after River was that she was half human, but there shouldn't be enough human in Freya for them to bother. On the other hand, with the warped time, it could have been hundreds of years since then—enough for them to evolve. 

 

"Freya, let's hurry." 

 

"Why?" She frowned. 

 

"This ship is riddled with Cybermen. Did Missy mention that...?" 

 

Freya shook her head, "No, she didn't." 

 

"They prefer humans, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem for us." He said, unconvincingly. 

 

"But I'm part human." 

 

"Only about a quarter. It shouldn't be enough for them to attack." 

 

"Okay." She didn't seem so convinced, picking up the pace with him. 

 

They walked fast towards the cottages. The Doctor kept looking back, now certain of the figures he saw lurking on the edges of the field. He counted at least a dozen silver men, all a much more evolved model than the primitive beginnings he and River had seen when they were first here. 

 

Missy ran out to meet them when she saw them, “You two need two leave. I don’t want you messing up the whole system we have going.” 

 

"Trust me, we don't want to stay. Where's the TIme Hopper?" The Doctor asked. 

 

"Here." She handed it to him, "Next time one of your kids shows up I'm sending it straight down to the bottom floor." 

 

"You know who you'll be facing if you do." He said, appreciative of her humor. He wrapped the hopper around his wrist. "But... thanks. For what you did today." 

 

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're going soft. I think I'm going to be sick." She shooed him off. 

 

He took Freya's hand and they dematerialized from the ship. The two landed in the console room. Felix's crying could be heard from down the hall already. 

 

The Doctor relaxed now that they were in the safety of their own ship. He took the hopper off and pocketed it. "I know you understand your mistake, but I'm still going to keep your hopper for a while. You broke one of our biggest rules about them. I'll talk to your mother about when you can have it back." He knew that this couldn't really stop Freya from traveling. She knew how to fly the TARDIS and there were spare time devices all over the TARDIS and the Hub, so it wouldn't be hard for her to go somewhere if she wanted. 

 

"Fine." Freya nodded, "I guess I'll go to my room." 

 

"If you'd like." he looked around, not seeing the other adults in the console room like he expected. "Aunt Vastra's around. I'm sure she'd love to say hello." 

 

Freya nodded, going to look for her Aunt. The Doctor went in the direction of the crying baby, hoping to find River with him. 

 

River was with the baby in the rocking chair in the nursery and upon further inspection, one could see that the baby wasn't the only one crying. 

 

"Riv?" He knocked softly. 

 

"Yeah?" She tried to pull herself together. 

 

He came further into the nursery, crouching down in front of where she was sitting and taking the hand that wasn't holding the baby. "We should talk about what happened." 

 

"I don't want to." She looked away from him. 

 

"Right..." He frowned slightly but didn't want to push her after the emotional rollercoaster of today. "Is there anything I can do right now?" 

 

“No. But I do hope you told Freya that’s she’s grounded for the rest of her life and she’s not allowed to use any sort of time travel for at least a year.”

 

"I've taken her time-hopper," he informed

 

“I want her to know that she’s grounded.” River’s jaw tightened. 

 

"I'll tell her," he agreed. He wouldn't say it was for a year, though. 

 

“I can’t get him to stop crying.” River huffed, looking down at the baby. 

 

The Doctor looked at Felix, listening to the crying for a moment and quickly recognizing the baby words for attention. "He just wants attention." 

 

River sighed, obviously frustrated. "I'm giving him attention." 

 

He stood, finding a pacifier and offering it to her. "Try this." 

 

River tried to give Felix the pacifier, but he kept turning away. 

 

"Maybe not... may I try?" 

 

River nodded, passing the baby over. The Doctor took Felix carefully and picked up the nearest stuffed animal, which happened to be Lulu the whale—a present from Arthur. Felix continued to fuss until his eyes caught onto the whale. 

 

"See that, hmm?" The Doctor murmured in a soothing voice. Felix’s eyes stayed fixed on the whale and his cries died down into whimpers. "This is Lulu." The Doctor continued "He used to belong to your big brother… Do you want to try, Riv?" He offered. 

 

"No." She shook her head, looking away. "...I want to start my medication." 

 

He made a noise of agreement, still wiggling the whale above Felix’s head. "Did you pump milk for Felix?"

 

She shook her head, "Not yet." 

 

"Do you want to do that first?" It wasn't really a question, but his tone was still gentle. 

 

"How much?" 

 

"Just a bottle or two. The TARDIS will be able to replicate it for a few days while we figure something out." 

 

River nodded and left. 

 

The Doctor continued to play with Felix until River returned. "I put three bottles in the fridge." 

 

The Doctor offered a smile. "Let's get that medicine, then." 

 

"Do you think it'll work right away?"

 

"It usually takes about three days for your body to adjust fully." 

 

"Okay." She breathed, going to take the baby from him. 

 

They went to the medbay to find the medicine Vastra had suggested. They did a scan to figure out the correct dosage for River. She then took her first round. 

 

“Should I start dinner?” Th Doctor offered. 

 

"Can you lay down with me for a bit first?" 

 

“Of course.” He agreed. 

 

The two went to their bedroom. River put Felix down in a cot so he could nap. 

 

“How’s your head?” The Doctor asked. 

 

"It hurts." She murmured, "But I'm fine. I'm sorry I haven't been myself." 

 

“It’s not your fault.” He said in the same tone. 

 

"I guess you're right though. We should talk about what happened earlier...and we should talk about what happened yesterday." 

 

He nodded. “Freya feels quite guilty.” 

 

"I figured she would." River sighed. 

 

“She wanted to come apologize, but she was afraid you wouldn’t want to see her.” 

 

"I don't want to see her right now. I think I might yell at her again if I don’t calm down first.”

 

He agreed silently. River sighed, leaning in to hug him tightly. He accepted gratefully, squeezing back just as tight. 

 

"Remember this last week," she murmured, nudging his mind with a happy memory. He smiled weakly and nodded, inviting the memory in. 

 

The memory was of the two of them sitting on the bed. The Doctor had his guitar and River sat listening to him, stroking her middle. 

 

" _ Play that note again, I think he liked that one. _ " _ River beamed, hand tracing Felix's kicks.  _

 

_ "He likes D minor?" The Doctor played the chord again, smiling at her.  _

 

_ She laughed, happiness filling the memory, "Yes! Feel how much he's moving."  _

 

_ He moved his attention from the guitar to her round middle, placing his hand where hers was. River smiled at him, "See? And when you play the whole song he starts doing summersaults."  _

 

_ "I guess we know that Rachmaninoff's Symphony No. 1 will be a good lullaby."  _

 

_ "I can't wait to meet him."  _

 

_ "Patience is a virtue, dear." He leaned over and kissed her. "I can't wait either."  _

 

_ She hummed against his lips, the memory fading. _

 

The Doctor looked at her for a moment. "Thank you." 

 

"I wish he could have come under different circumstances." 

 

"I know." He breathed. "Me, too." 

 

She sighed, resting her head against his chest, "I want to be happy like that again.”

 

"We will be," he assured. "It'll just take time." 

 

"I know. But I feel guilty that I can't give him the attention he deserves." 

 

"You know I'm here to help with that. He's got two of us." He looked over at Felix, who had fallen back asleep with Lulu clutched to him. "And I promise he won't hold it against you." 

 

She nodded, smiling weakly, "Thank you for being so understanding." 

 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'd be a rubbish husband if I wasn't." 

 

She hummed softly, closing her eyes. "I think I might take a nap." 

 

He hummed, starting to stroke her hair back. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, her head tucked under his chin. He didn't sleep but took in the peaceful moment for as long as it lasted. 

 

Felix began to cry about 20 minutes into River's nap, hungry. The Doctor tried to disentangle himself from his wife without waking her so he could get the milk. 

 

Freya and Vastra were sitting in the kitchen, talking over tea. The Doctor took the baby with him to the kitchen so he wouldn't wake River. He offered a smile to the others when he came in. 

 

"Now Felix," the Doctor murmured as he got out one of the bottles and heated it up. "I know it's not the same as when Mummy gives it to you, but I promise this  _ is _ her milk and not the formula you hate." 

 

Felix began to whimper, squirming and turning away from the bottle when it was offered to him. "It's the same as what Mum give you. I promise, my love." The Doctor tried. 

 

After a good minute of struggling the Doctor sighed and sat down with Felix. "Your only other option is a formula and I'm sure this will taste much better." 

 

Felix started to wail, not understanding what was going on. 

 

"Sorry." This apology was directed to the others at the table for the baby's volume. 

 

"It's quite alright." Vastra stood, "Would you like me to try?" 

 

"It's worth a shot," he shifted the baby over.

 

Vastra held the baby close to her, "Many babies appreciate warmth from their mother and skin to skin contact when they're feeding. It makes them feel safe and comforted." She explained, remembering this information from her many years of studying humans. "Freya, would you mind assisting me and lightly rubbing his cheek with your hand?" 

 

Slightly confused, but sure that her aunt knew what she was doing, Freya did as she was told. Felix leaned into Freya's warmth, calming down at the touch. 

 

"You're a natural." The Doctor complimented. 

 

Freya smiled and Felix finally took the bottle. The baby was much more compliant once he realized that this wasn't the formula. Freya smiled at her brother, “He’s really cute.” 

 

"Do you want to hold him?" Vastra offered. 

 

She nodded enthusiastically. The Doctor nodded his permission and Vastra passed the baby over. 

 

Freya gently cradled her youngest sibling, still remembering how from when Terra and Arthur were born. Felix peered up at her, examining the new person holding him. 

 

“Hi, Felix.” Freya smiled down at him.

 

He blinked and made a sound similar to: "Beh." 

 

Freya laughed, “It’s nice to meet you too!” 

 

"I hope Terra's as happy as you are." The Doctor said to himself. 

 

“I’m sure she will be.” Freya tried to encourage, “She’s been coming around.”

 

"Has she?" 

 

“Kind of...”

 

"I suppose we'll see..." He murmured. He had to hope Terra would warm up to him eventually. 

 

River walked into the kitchen, quietly watching the scene before her. The Doctor looked up, meeting her eyes. River smiled weakly, going to pour herself a cup of tea. 

 

Freya noticed her and quickly looked guiltily at the floor. River had her back to her daughter, not seeing the shift. 

 

"Freya..." Vastra murmured. "Is there something you want to say to your mum?" There was some unspoken reference from the conversation the two of them had earlier. 

 

River turned and looked at her daughter. 

 

“I’m really sorry...” she started. “I know what I did was wrong and none of it was my business." 

 

River sighed, "I understand why you did it, but you shouldn't have undermined us." 

 

"I-I know. I'm sorry for that, too." 

 

River nodded, "...Thank you for the apology." 

 

Freya looked down at her brother still in her arms, then back up again, not quite sure if River meant this. Felix whimpered, wiggling in his sister's arms. "Will you... um..." She made a small gesture for River to take him. 

 

Rivet took the baby from her daughter’s arms. Felix calmed once more. Freya smiled weakly. "I'm glad you and him are okay." 

 

"Me too." River smiled weakly. 

 

"Are we going to go back home soon?" 

 

River looked at her husband, "I'm not sure yet."

 

Freya looked like she might protest, then remembered her lesson. "Oh..." 

 

"You're parents wanted to wait until the medication started taking effect before they went back to explain everything to your siblings." Vastra assisted. 

 

Freya nodded slowly. "How long is that?" 

 

"A few days, two or three." 

 

She looked a bit surprised. "And I'm staying here with you, yeah? Dad took my hopper anyway." 

 

River nodded slowly, "Yes, we'll have to call Jack." 

 

"I'll do that." The Doctor offered. He stood, going over to kiss her cheek, then kissing Felix’s forehead before leaving them to make the call. 


	85. In Sickness and in Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Am I being too harsh?"
> 
> "No," he breathed, "I rather think I'm being too soft."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter today. Enjoy

**Ch 85**

 

Jack was relieved that Freya was found, promising to keep a close eye on the other three children. The Doctor thanked him and promised he’d call to talk to the kids that night. 

 

By the time he was finished on the phone, Freya and Vastra were in the library together while River had gone back to bed with Felix. The Doctor joined his daughter and friend in the library. "Where's your mother?" 

 

"She said she was tired so she went to your room," Freya explained. 

 

"Did you two talk a little more?" he asked cautiously. 

 

The girl shrugged "A little." 

 

"...You know you're going to be grounded for a little while, then?" 

 

She nodded, "Yeah...she told me." 

 

"We haven't quite agreed on how long," he explained. 

 

"Mum said two months." Freya murmured. 

 

"That's a bit long..." He frowned slightly. "What are you and Vastra up to?" 

 

"I was helping Vastra research her latest case." 

 

The Doctor looked at Vastra appreciatively. "I'm glad to hear it."

 

”Is there anything you need me to do?" Vastra asked. 

 

"No, just shout if you need anything. I'm going to check on River." 

 

“Okay.” Vastra nodded as he left. 

 

The Doctor stopped by the medbay to get some painkillers and new gauze for River's head before going to the bedroom. There was a bouquet of River’s favorite flowers waiting for him outside the door for him there. The Doctor was sure this was Vastra and the TARDIS's doing but picked up the flowers up gratefully nonetheless before entering. 

 

River was reading in bed, Felix fast asleep in his cot on the other side of the room. 

 

"What're you reading?" he asked. 

 

“It’s a book on Postpartum Depression,” she murmured, looking up at him, “I thought I should do some research.” 

 

He smiled softly. "River Song and research: an inseparable pair." S

 

he smiled back, “You called Jack?” 

 

"Yes. He says all is going well on his end. I said we'd call tonight," he summarized before offering the flowers. 

 

River’s face brightened, pleasantly surprised by the gesture. “What are these for?” 

 

"You're being very patient with yourself, and I know that's not always easy for you, especially since healing is not the fastest processes." 

 

“Thank you.” She smiled weakly, “You’re being very patient with me as well.” 

 

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Can I change your dressings?" 

 

She nodded, “Sure.”

 

He delicately removed the old gauze and replaced it. River let herself be distracted by the flowers while he did.

 

"Thank you," she murmured once he had finished. 

 

“I brought painkillers,” he added. “If you want.” 

 

She nodded and took them, gratefully. 

 

"Can we talk about Freya?" he asked after a moment. 

 

“What about her?” River asked slowly. 

 

"I think grounding her for two months is a little much..." 

 

“Why? I thought it was actually quite a  _ light _ punishment, given the fact that she broke every rule of the Hopper, disobeyed our trust, violated our privacy and nearly got herself killed in the process." 

 

"Yes... but we've never grounded her before." They'd certainly taken her phone for a few nights or denied requests to go to a friend's house, but they'd never officially grounded her. From what the Doctor could gauge from the gossip back when they lived in London full time, a week was the appropriate time for a child to be grounded for—two if it was really bad. "I think we should cut it down. Maybe to six weeks?" 

 

"No." Her frown deepened, "I'm not going to lighten the punishment just because she's never been grounded before." 

 

He took one look at River’s expression and knew she wasn't going to be convinced otherwise. "Right." 

 

She crossed her arms, looking away from him, "She was  _ completely _ out of line." 

 

"I know," he sighed, deciding not to point out her explosive outrage. "I know, you're right." 

 

River fell silent, sighing. 

 

"It's not that I don't agree with you. What she did was wrong and unforgivable..." He couldn't get the image of Freya crying into his arms out of his head. No matter how much trouble she was in, it was still a terrible feeling to see her upset like that. "You're right." 

 

"Am I being too harsh?" 

 

"No," he breathed, "I rather think I'm being too soft." 

 

She stood up, going to hug him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her, taking as much comfort in her touch as he hoped he was giving her. She closed her eyes, the two staying like that for a while. 

 

Vastra came in to offer dinner later. River said she wasn't hungry, wanting to get some sleep. The Doctor kissed her forehead and went to eat with the others. 

 

At dinner, he told Freya that her grounded time wasn't changing. Freya thought it would be best not to argue, simply nodding. Regardless of the tension, they managed to make conversation about this and that, mostly talking about Felix and school.

 

The rest of the night went very similarly, with Freya making a point to avoid River. 

 

The next day was also pent in the same manner. The Doctor carried Felix around for most of the day as he bounced from spending time with Freya and time with his wife— apparently, those things were mutually exclusive for the time being. 

 

River had had trouble sleeping the night before so both she and Felix were a bit irritable. Vastra brought in tea in the afternoon while the Doctor and the kids were somewhere else. "How are you feeling?" 

 

“Tired,” River murmured. 

 

Vastra placed the tea down on the nightstand. "The Doctor mentioned about wanting you to starting taking short walks. Something about making sure your intracranial pressure won't spike from an extended activity?" 

 

“Right.” She nodded, starting to get up. Vastra offered a hand. River accepted the help, wincing. 

 

"When was your last dose of pain medication?" 

 

"An hour or two ago." It wasn't enough time that River could have another dose, but it was clear the medicine wasn't doing its full job. 

 

"Let's take it slow then, alright?" 

 

They slowly started down the hall with no particular destination in mind. River stayed close to the wall, leaning on it and Vastra for support. After ten minutes they ended up in a sitting room, at which point Vastra suggested they take a break. River gratefully sat down in one of the chairs. 

 

"Do you mind if I check your vitals?" Vastra asked.

 

"Sure." River nodded, closing her eyes. 

 

"Your blood pressure is high..." She murmured after a bit of measuring. 

 

"Should we be worried?" River asked. 

 

"I'm not sure. Does your head feel worse?" 

 

"I feel more tired than I expected to be and I have a dull headache, but it doesn’t feel that much worse." 

 

"Then, it could just be your body trying to adjust. If it doesn't go down on its own then I'd like to examine you further." 

 

River nodded, "I'd like to rest here for a few minutes if you don't mind." 

 

"Of course," Vastra settled next to her. 

 

She closed her eyes, sighing softly. The TARDIS put on a soft instrumental in the background. River quickly fell asleep, lulled by the TARDIS. Vastra pulled out a book to read, sitting companionably with her friend as she slept. 

 

The Time Lady slept for about an hour and a half, waking up to a bloody nose. Vastra looked up when she heard River stir, going wide-eyed at the sight of the blood. "River?" 

 

"Hmm?" She frowned slightly, touching the blood. 

 

"You're bleeding... we should go to the medbay." 

 

"I'm fine." She shook her head, "It's just a nosebleed." 

 

"Yes, but with what you are healing from, it could be something more." 

 

River sighed, "Alright, fine." 

 

Vastra helped her up and brought her to the medbay, setting the scanner as best she knew how. River gave her a bit of instruction, helping her run the scan. The results look a little longer to come through since the TARDIS was translating and simplifying the results into Silurian. 

 

"Does the Doctor have you on any sort of a ntifibrinolytic?" 

 

"I..." River frowned, rubbing her temples and trying to remember, "I'm not sure. I can't keep track." 

 

The TARDIS helpfully brought up a list of River's medications on the tablet for Vastra to look over. "He does." 

 

"Should we try and alter my medication?" She asked, looking over the list with her. 

 

Vastra nodded. "I think the dose for that one is too high now that you've started the SSRI. I think it's caused the bleed." 

 

"Okay. So if we lower the dosage, I should be fine." 

 

"Well... yes, but we'll have to watch you. Lowering the dose increases your chances of having the brain bleed return." She explained. 

 

River sighed, "We should talk to the Doctor about this." 

 

“Would you like me to fetch him?”  

 

"I think that would be best." 

 

Vastra left to find him. 

 

Freya had enlisted her father's help with her summer work while Felix was napping. “Hi Aunt Vastra,” Freya acknowledged when the woman came in.  

 

"Hello, dear. How are you holding up?" Vastra asked. 

 

"Alright," she shrugged. 

 

"Would you mind if I borrowed your Father for a bit?" 

 

Freya nodded and the Doctor stood to follow Vastra. Vastra began to explain what was going on once they were out of earshot. The Doctor's worry grew as he listened. They soon arrived back in the medbay. 

 

River was falling back to sleep at this point, having trouble staying awake. 

 

"River?" The Doctor called her name as he entered. 

 

"Hmm?" She opened her eyes wearily. 

 

He came over to where she lay, putting a hand on her cheek. "How are you feeling?" 

 

"Tired." She breathed. 

 

He glanced at the monitor for a moment. "Rest then. Vastra and I will take care of everything." 

 

"Okay." She let her eyes close, Vastra watching worriedly over the Doctor's shoulder. 

 

He turned to Vastra. "I agree with your call. Her dose needs to change, but she'll need close monitoring." 

 

"This was the dosage I was thinking." Vastra nodded, pulling the new medication chart up onto the screen. 

 

"It's certainly low enough to avoid clotting," he pondered, "But I'm worried about a rebleed." 

 

"I think this is the best we can do. We're going to have to watch her very closely." 

 

"I know," he sighed. 

 

"Sweetie?" River murmured, opening her eyes again. 

 

"Yes?" His attention was quickly back to her. 

 

"How's the baby?" 

 

"He's sleeping. Took me a little while to get him to settle down," he explained. 

 

She smiled weakly, "Are we going to get the kids soon?" 

 

"Tonight." It was what they'd agreed upon before. She nodded, reaching for his hand. He squeezed it tightly. "You're making strides, my love." 

 

She smiled softly, "I'm glad you think so." 

 

He kissed her forehead then rested his head there for a moment. "Proud of you." 

 

"Thank you." She leaned in to kiss him. He cupped her face gently as he met her lips. "Do you want to walk around the TARDIS with me?" She asked once they parted, "Vastra and I were walking before we came here." 

 

"If you're feeling up for it." 

 

She nodded starting to get up, "Can we go to the nursery?" 

 

"Of course," he agreed. 

 

Vastra went to go help Freya with her homework. The other two adults walked together, heading towards Felix's room. 

 

The little boy was sleeping in his cot undisturbed. 

 

"He looks so sweet." River murmured, watching the baby's chest rise and fall. The Doctor made a noise of agreement, smiling. She reached down and ran her finger lightly along the baby's hand. Felix reflexively wrapped his tiny fist around his mother's finger in his sleep.

 

River smiled softly, "I think he looks so much like you." 

 

"You think so?" He shared her expression. 

 

She nodded, "Definitely." 

 

Felix yawned and shifted, but didn't open his eyes. The Doctor looked at every detail of the baby. His hair was already much curlier than any of his siblings' had been at his age. Arthur and Terra's hair was only wavey, nothing like the impressive bounciness the twins had, but Felix looked like he might pose a match. 

 

"He's got your nose and your eyes." She murmured, Felix still holding onto her finger. "And I bet he'll have your smile."  

 

"A good thing, a presume?" he teased. 

 

"A wonderful thing." She beamed, "I happen to think you're quite handsome, especially when you smile." 

 

"Glad you think so." He kissed her nose. 

 

"I  thought I had made that point quite obvious." 

 

"Quite." He grinned, tugging gently on a loose curl. 

 

She touched her nose to his, slipping her finger out of the baby's loose grip. The Doctor leaned forward enough to close to the distance between them and gave her a proper kiss. She hummed against his lips, smiling. 

 

Felix started to stir, whining slightly. River turned her attention back to the baby, "It's alright...Mummy's here." 

 

Felix reached up towards her voice, waving his tiny fists that didn't yet know how to make a grasping motion. She lifted him up, cradling him in her arms. He settled down easily, blinking up at his mother calmly. 

 

"Hello there, my sweet." She smiled, "You're going to meet all your siblings today." 

 

Felix, in slight confusion, shared an image of River and several Freya’s standing over him, the later her deemed  _ not-mummies. _

 

She laughed softly, "You've met Freya already. She's your oldest sister. And then there's Amelia, and Arthur and Terra." River knew the baby didn't understand what she was saying. He cooed, liking the sound of her voice. "We're going to pick them up in a few hours." She continued to speak, "So we need to get you fed and changed." 

 

The Doctor knew Felix would likely be complaining shortly regardless of how calm he was now. River glanced up at her husband, "Do you want to help?" 

 

He nodded, "I'll get a bottle." 

 

"Okay." She nodded, going to sit in the rocking chair. There was no sense in changing the baby until after they were done feeding him since he'd probably make a mess. 

 

The Doctor returned shortly with a warmed up bottle. River took the bottle, trying to coax Felix into eating. Felix looked uncertain, still not keep on the idea of a bottle. 

 

"How did Vastra do this?" She frowned as Felix wiggled. 

 

“She had a couple tricks.” Vastra had been helping out with most of the feedings of River wasn’t available. “Last time she rubbed his ears.” 

 

River held the baby closer to her, "Last time she told me to hold him so he could hear my heart." 

 

"Try both then," he offered.

 

She started rubbing his ears, hoping that something would work. Between her two methods, the baby was distracted long enough for her to slip the bottle into his mouth without him trying to spit it out. Felix nestled against her, eating quite contently. 

 

"He'll get used to the bottle." The Doctor assured. "Doing alright?" 

 

"My headache is getting a bit worse." She confessed. 

 

"Anything I can do?" 

 

She shook her head, "I can manage." 

 

"Alright. Let me know if you do later." 

 

"I will." She assured, "Would you mind finding him something to wear?" River asked, burping the baby once he had eaten. 

 

The Doctor nodded, moving to the dresser to pick out something simple. Felix was passed off to him after he was burped for changing. 

 

Felix did not like being changed in the slightest and made his discomfort known loudly. The Doctor changed him quickly to make the unpleasantry short. "All done, I promise." 

 

Felix continued to whimper, squirming in his new clothes as he was passed back to River. "It's okay, my love." River hummed. Felix calmed in her arms, her warmth helping him forget the chilly air. “Should we go get the others?” River asked softly.

 

The Doctor nodded. "Are you ready?" 

 

She hesitated, "I think so." 

 

He squeezed her hand. "You set the pace, then." 

 

"Okay... Maybe I should wait with Felix in the nursery while you get the rest of the kids." She murmured. 

 

"If you'd like," he agreed. 

 

"I don't want to upset Terra."

 

"She's going to meet him one way or another," his tone matched hers. They both knew it might not be a pretty transition. 

 

She sighed, "I know." 

 

"I'll see if I can warm her up to it." He kissed the side of her head. "Do you still want to wait here?" 

 

"I should watch Felix."

 

"See you soon, then." He leaned down to kiss her as if he could kiss away her worry. 

 

She smiled weakly once he pulled away, "Call me if you need anything." 

 

The Doctor went to find his daughter, poking his head into Freya’s room on his way to the console room. “I’m going to get your siblings.” 

 

“Do you want me to come?” Freya asked. 

 

He nodded. “I want you to give Jack a proper apology for running off.” 

 

“Okay.”

 

They went to the control room where the Doctor finally piloted them to the Hub. "Freya," he said carefully, "I'm not going to tell everyone exactly what I told you. I'm not going to lie, but the details are personal and right now not important. I don't want you telling Arthur or Terra anything you found out." 

 

“What about Amelia? Why doesn’t she get to know?” 

 

“I haven’t talked to your mother about it yet. I’d like to do that first, so, for now, she’ll hear what I tell your younger siblings.” 

 

Freya nodded slowly, "She'll be mad if I don't tell her though." 

 

“I know... I just don’t want your little siblings overhearing.” 

 

She sighed, "Fine." 

 

They landed in the Hub, the Doctor stepping out. “Jack?”

"Doc?" The man called from upstairs. The sound of multiple pairs of feet could soon be heard running down the stairs. 

 

The Doctor hadn't stepped more than a few feet in the direction of the stairs before the wind was knocked out of him by three pairs of hugging arms. "Well, hello to you lot, too." 

 

He was immediately bombarded with a million questions as to where they had been and what was going on. "Calm down, my loves. I can't understand you all at once," he said, though smiled widely at the children. It may have only been a day or two for the children, but it'd been an unexpected full week for him and River—the kind of week packed with the feeling of really just wanting to sit down and hug one's children. 

 

"What happened?" Arthur asked, looking between the Doctor and Freya. 

 

"The TARDIS went wrong and your mother and I landed... somewhere that wasn't easy to get out of. We lost the TARDIS for a while," the Doctor started, explaining that in finding the ship again they ran into some enemies. 

  
  


"[Where's Mummy?]" Terra frowned. 

 

“In the TARDIS.” He signed and spoke, “with your little brother. Mum got hurt when we were out. She’s got a big bandage on her head, but you don’t need to worry about that. She’s okay now... but her being hurt meant that the baby came early.” It was a bit of a lie since River wasn’t actually fully better, but she was out of the worst of it. 

 

Terra's frown deepened and she looked like she might cry. He bent down and pulled the girl into his arms. "[I know this isn't what you want, but promise it's going to be alright.]" 

 

As soon as he held her, she started to cry, wrapping her arms around his neck. He hummed and stroked her hair, knowing that he ought to let her cry it out. "Why don't you lot go in ahead of us?" He addressed the other children. "We'll catch up." 

 

They went inside while Freya went up to jack to apologize. Jack was easy on Freya's apology, giving her a hug and a hair ruffle before they too went inside to meet the baby.


	86. Meet the Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terra still said nothing, staring intensely at the tiny face that stared back at her. Her mind had been so busy conjuring up scenarios of a deceptively charming little boy over the past few months, that it was something of a shock to see this fragile, harmless infant that still was getting the hang of control his own arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the short side today, folks. Enjoy.

**Ch 86**

 

Freya knocked on the bedroom door when she and Jack arrived there. "Mum?" 

 

"Come in." River called from inside. 

 

Arthur and Amelia were on the bed next to River. Freya joined them as Jack came over. 

 

"Number five, then?" he commented. 

 

River nodded, smiling weakly, "This is Felix Jacob Song." 

 

Jack grinned. "Did Doc finally cave?" 

 

"It was a compromise," she laughed softly. 

 

Felix whimpered in his sleep, starting to stir. The infant blinked up at his mother, then realized there were about four other faces staring at him and made a confused noise. 

 

Arthur bounced excitedly on the bed, "Can I hold him?" 

 

"Can I hold him, too?" Amelia asked with equal excitement. 

 

River nodded, "Yes, you can both get a turn. Who wants to go first?” 

 

Amelia let Arthur have the first go and River carefully placed the baby in his arms. Once settled, Felix and Arthur stared at each other before the latter grinned widely. “I like him.” 

 

"I'm very happy to hear that." River beamed. 

 

Arthur let Felix wrap a tiny hand around his finger. “Hello, Felix." 

 

"Where's Terra?" River asked. 

 

The others looked a little uneasy at the question before Jack answered, "Doc's calming her down before she comes in."

 

River’s expression fell a bit, "Right, I was afraid she'd be upset." 

 

"She'll come around. The Doctor knows what he's doing." Jack tried to assure. 

 

"I know." She nodded, turning her attention back to Arthur. 

 

"Terra's not gonna hate him, is she?" Arthur asked worriedly. 

 

"I'm sure she won't. She'll love him once she meets him." She tried to assure, though was mostly telling herself. 

 

Amelia took her turn holding the baby with her mother’s help. ”This is Amelia." River murmured to the baby, "She's very excited to meet you." 

 

After Amelia, Jack got to hold the baby. At this point, Felix was getting a little tired of unfamiliar faces and being shifted around every few minutes. The baby started to cry while in Jack's arms, squirming about.  “Sorry, little man.” Jack handed him back to River. 

 

"It's okay." River hushed Felix, "It's alright, Mummy's here."

 

Just then, the Doctor came in with Terra trailing behind. River's eyes softened when she saw Terra, "[Hello, sweetie.]" She sighed with her free hand. 

 

“[Hi, mummy,]” Terra sighed tiredly, having worn herself out a bit from crying. She looked around the room at everyone, staring with accusation at the bandages on River’s head. 

 

"[Come here, my love.]" River beckoned her over. 

 

Terra wiped her nose on her sleeve and crawled up on the bed. River wrapped her free arm around her, pulling her close. Terra sighed into her mother’s warmth, though refused to look at the bundled baby in her arms. 

 

"Can you take him?" River asked her husband, nodding towards the baby. The Doctor nodded and scooped up Felix with ease. 

 

River wrapped both arms around Terra once she was able, humming softly. Terra sniffed harder, though was just about out of tears for the moment. Her mother continued to hug and hum to her before finally asking, "[How are you feeling, my love?]" 

 

Terra shrugged, not having the energy to do much more than that. Her emotions of upset were otherwise obvious from her body language, though whether it was shock from knowing what had happened to her parents or resentment towards her new brother was unclear. 

 

River looked at her husband, not knowing what to do. She was afraid to push her daughter, but she also hoped that if Terra saw the baby, it would make the bonding process a bit easier. 

 

The other children watched silently as the Doctor took a step towards the bed with Felix. "[Terra, my love, I'd love for you to meet your brother.]" 

 

She buried further into River's embrace, refusing to look. 

 

"[Nothing bad can come from seeing him, I promise that,]" he continued. 

 

"[It's alright, Terra.]" River soothed. 

 

Glaring, the girl finally dragged her gaze towards the baby, not really able to see his face from where she was. The Doctor sat carefully on the edge of the bed so she could see. 

 

"[Do you want to hold him?]" River asked. 

 

Terra still said nothing, staring intensely at the tiny face that stared back at her. Her mind had been so busy conjuring up scenarios of a deceptively charming little boy over the past few months, that it was something of a shock to see this fragile, harmless infant that still was getting the hang of control his own arms. "[He's... smaller than the pictures.]" 

 

River nodded, "[He came a bit early, so he's not quite as big as he could have been.]" 

 

She and Felix didn't break eye contact. "[Does that mean he's going to be sick or something?]" 

 

"[No, he's not sick. He's just small.]" River assured, though in truth they wouldn’t know if there were any cognitive effects until the baby was older.

 

Felix, having seen everyone moving their hands about as they signed, started waving his own little hands in the air in an attempt to copy them. 

 

River smiled, "[Look at that, he's trying to sign for you.]" 

 

Terra frowned. "[He's not even saying anything.]" 

 

"[That's because he doesn't know how. We have to teach him… Do you want to hold him?]" River asked again. 

 

Terra shook her head, reaching out to correct Felix's hand shape. Felix grabbed onto Terra's finger reflexively. "[Hey!]" 

 

"[It's okay.]" River assured, "[That's just what babies do.]"

 

Terra wiggled her finger in her brother's grip, making him laugh. 

 

"[Isn't he sweet?]" River smiled. 

 

"[Do you love him more than me?]" She blurted out. 

 

"[Of course not!]" River shook her head, "[I love you both equally.]" 

 

Terra looked uneasily between all her siblings who were watching patiently. "[But what if you change your mind?]" 

 

"[I won't change my mind.]" River promised, "[I love you very, very much and nothing could ever change that.]" 

 

Terra sighed in a conflicted manner, staring down at Felix and finally taking her finger back. Felix wined slightly at the loss, though Terra couldn't hear it. "[Can we go home now?]" 

 

"[If you want to.]" River nodded slowly. 

 

She was quiet for a moment. “[Is his room ready?]” 

 

"[Not quite, there's still a few things we wanted to put in to decorate.]" 

 

Terra wasn't ready to admit aloud that the baby wasn’t quite as bad as she thought. "[We should finish that then.]" 

 

"[You're right, we should.]" River nodded, hoping this was a good sign. 

 

"Can I help drive?" Arthur asked.

 

The Doctor nodded to him. “It’s fine with me.” Arthur jumped up as soon as he got the okay and ran towards the console room. 

 

“[Are you going to help decorate Felix’s room when we get home?]” He asked Terra, hoping that the ‘we’ included her. 

 

She nodded slowly, "[I like decorating.]" 

 

He offered a smile. “[Do you want to help Arthur drive?]” 

 

She nodded again. The two of them joined Arthur in the console room where Vastra made herself known. Terra ran to Vastra, giving her a big hug. 

 

“[Hello, little one,]” Vastra hugged her back. “[How have you been?]” 

 

"[Can you take Felix home with you?]" Terra asked. 

 

“[No, he lives with you.]” Vastra explained, keeping a schooled expression. 

 

"[But can't he live with you instead?]" 

 

“[Babies need to live with their own parents.]” She said gently. “[And you’ve already got that lovely nursery set up for him. I don’t have any baby things at my home.]” 

 

She pouted, "[Then can I come and live with you instead?]" 

 

Vastra couldn't deny her surprise at the question. "[Wouldn't you miss your mum and dad?]" 

 

"[Yes so Mummy will come one day, and Daddy will come the other day.]" 

 

"[Well,]" Vastra tapped her chin thoughtfully. "[That's certainly a creative solution, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline.]" 

 

"[Why?]" Terra frowned. 

 

"[You know why, dear. You live here with your family and where your friends are and where your school is. A brother is no reason to leave that behind.]" 

 

"[I don't want a little brother.]"

 

Vastra kneeled down to Terra's level, sighing. "[You know, I had sisters once.]" 

 

"[Really?]" 

 

"[Yes,]" she nodded. "[We didn't get along too well all the time. My oldest sister, she could be very bossy to me, and we had many disagreements.]" 

 

"[Like Freya?]" 

 

"[Yes, a bit.]" She smiled weakly, though there was something just a bit sad in it. 

 

"[Do you get along now?]" 

 

"[She's not around anymore.]" Vastra explained. Terra frowned at this information. "[There isn't a day that I don't think of her. Siblings are a very special thing, you know. You and your siblings, in particular—there's no one else in the universe like the five of you. Your time together is valuable and may not always be so limitless.]" 

 

Terra looked at the ground, knowing that her aunt was right. 

 

"[I'm not saying you must force yourself to love them, little one. I'd just hoped you wouldn't see your brother as so much of a curse.]" 

 

Terra nodded slowly, starting to understand. Vastra straightened up leaving the subject to sit, "[Would you like to show me how well you can fly the TARDIS?]" 

 

Terra nodded, going to help her brother at the controls. Between the two children and a subtle nudge from the Doctor, the ship landed neatly in the flat. 

 

Jack, the twins, and River soon joined them in the console room—the later holding the baby in her arms. 

 

"Mum, how did your head get hurt?" Arthur asked. 

 

"I got hit in the head." She gave him the very vague answer, hoping he wouldn't question her more. Freya glanced at her mother, though wisely kept her mouth shut as Arthur nodded. Their parents would go over the whole story with Arthur and Amelia a bit later so for now, that was all the explanation Arthur would get.

 

They were greeted by the cats when they exited the ship. Jack and Vastra offered to stay to make dinner for everyone. 

 

River accepted the offer and to put Felix down in the nursery. Out of habit, Terra followed her mother, wanting to stay close to her. 

 

River gently set the baby down in his cot, turning to her daughter. Terra stared at her brother. "[Why does he sleep so much?]" 

 

"[Because that's what babies do. They need to sleep to help them grow and replenish their energy.]" 

 

"[What else does he do?]" 

 

River laughed softly, "[I'm afraid he doesn't do much right now. He eats, sleeps, cries and sometimes likes to look around the room.]" 

 

Terra didn't seem put off by this. "[So he can't really play or anything?]" 

 

"[Not yet. In a few months, once he gets a bit bigger, he'll be able to play more.]" 

 

“[So he can’t steal Arthur from me yet.]” She looked a bit pleased at this realization. 

 

"[No, not yet. And I don't think he'll  _ steal _ Arthur from you.]" 

 

“[What if Arthur wants to play with him more than with me?]” 

 

"[I don't think he will.]" River shook her head, "[If anything, I think you might want to play with Felix more since you're closer in age.]" 

 

"[Arthur's only three years older than me. I'm  _ nine _ years older than him.]" Terra pointed at the sleeping baby. 

 

"[Yes, you're right, and Arthur is twelve years older than the baby, so I think he might grow tired of playing with someone so much younger than him.]" 

 

Terra thought about this worriedly. "[He doesn't get tired of playing with me, does he?]" 

 

River shook her head, "[Of course not!]" 

 

Terra looked around the room uncertainty. “[What do you still have to put in here, anyway?]” 

 

"[We wanted to put up some more pictures to start.]"  

 

"[Like what?]" 

 

"[Pictures of our family. Would you like to help pick some out?]" 

 

Terra nodded slowly. River turned on the baby monitor, leading Terra out of the room. The girl didn't seem upset to the point of tears like she was earlier, but she wasn't exactly happy either. A strange in-between state has settled over Terra; she was starting to realize after her talk with Vastra that Felix wasn't going anywhere.


	87. Keeping it Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But they're growing up fast. We can't hide everything forever."
> 
> "I don't care how old they are, I don't want them to know." She shook her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

**Ch 87**

 

River led her youngest daughter to the living room, going to retrieve her blue box of photos. One of the cats slinked onto the sofa as they settled down with the box and started to sift through them. 

 

"[Would you mind if we put this one up?]" River asked, holding up a photo that Amelia had taken. It was of River, the Doctor, and Terra. 

 

Terra stared at the toothy smile of her younger self in the picture. She seemed a little surprised then when River had said ‘pictures of the whole family,’ that she was included in that definition. "[What if Felix doesn't like it?]" 

 

"[I don't think that will be a problem.]" River assured. 

 

"[Okay...]" She looked unconvinced. 

 

River put the picture aside, "[Let's find ones of Uncle Jack and Aunt Vastra too.]" 

 

Terra looked towards the kitchen where Jack and Vastra were trying to cooperate on cooking methods. The Doctor had joined them, ironing out the usual disagreements that tended to pop up when Vastra and Jack were left alone in a room. It looked like Vastra and Jack were starting to get into an argument at the moment, bickering about something that was unclear from the place Terra was sitting. 

 

A moment later, the Doctor poked his head into the living room. "Riv?" 

 

"Hmm?" River looked up, "Is everything alright?" 

 

"How do you feel about ordering out?" He offered a polite smile which meant whatever food there was being made had gone belly up. 

 

"That's fine." She smiled weakly, "Do you need me to come intervene?" She could hear the growing argument from where she was sitting. 

 

"Er, I think it might be best to leave them to it on this one." He made his way to the couch. "[What are you two up to?]" 

 

"[We're looking at pictures.]" Terra replied. 

 

"[To put in Felix's room.]" River added. 

 

He smiled at the picture they'd already pulled out. "[Mind if I sit with you?]" 

 

"Of course not." River smiled, leaning in to kiss him. Terra electively ignored them as they kissed over her head, pulling out a photo from a few Christmases ago. 

 

River looked down at the picture, "[Do you like that one?]" Terra nodded silently. It included not only the whole family but all of their friends as well. "[Do you want that to go in Felix's room too?]" 

 

She nodded again. 

 

River smiled, '[Do you remember when we took this picture?]" 

 

"[It was my idea.]" 

 

"[Yes, you're right and it was a very good one.]" 

 

Jack and Vastra came into the room at that moment. Jack looked a bit like a kicked dog and Vastra looked a bit like a satisfied cat. 

 

"Have you two finished?" River raised an eyebrow. 

 

Vastra nodded with her usual, elegant demeanor that nothing had been wrong in the first place. 

 

"[I thought they were cooking?]" Terra frowned. 

 

"[We're going to order take away instead.]" River informed her. 

 

"[Can we have chicken nuggets?]" 

"[If you'd like.]" 

 

The Doctor squeezed his wife’s hand. "Felix asleep?"

 

"Yeah. I’ve got the baby monitor on." 

 

Arthur came downstairs with a slight pout, finding a seat among everyone. "What's wrong, Arthur?" River asked. 

 

"Mia and Freya said they had to talk about stuff and wouldn't let me hang out with them." 

 

River's jaw tightened as she glanced at her husband. "Don't worry about them, lovie." The Doctor downplayed, knowing very well what the twins were discussing. "Now you can spend time with us." 

 

Arthur forgot about his exclusion quickly as the conversation moved on. The Doctor looked worriedly at his wife, reading her easily. 

 

Vastra noticed River’s demeanor as well, "[Arthur and Terra, would you two like to help me with something very special in the TARDIS? Jack can come with us.]" She nudged the man beside her so he’d go along with it.

 

The children looked intrigued. "[What is it?]" 

 

"[It's a surprise, you'll have to come see for yourself.]" She didn't exactly have a plan, but she could see River and the Doctor needed a moment alone and figured she could come up with something to distract the children. The two got up and followed Vastra excitedly. 

 

River kept her eyes on the floor as the others left. 

 

"River?" The Doctor spoke softly. 

 

"Yeah?" She looked over at him. 

 

"Are you alright?" 

 

She shrugged. They had expected Freya to tell her sister everything, but the full realization that half their children knew what had truly happened was hard to swallow. 

 

"What can I do?" 

 

"I don't know." She sighed. 

 

He quietly pulled her into his arms. She leaned into him, starting to cry. He stroked her back, murmuring to her to help her calm down. "I'm sorry." She sniffed, "I shouldn't be crying." 

 

"It's alright." He assured. "We're still adjusting, everything's not going to be fine all the time." 

 

"I know." She nodded, trying to brush away the tears, "I don't want the kids to know everything that happened." 

 

"I know my love." He knew the twins wouldn't tell Arthur or Terra, but couldn't help but wonder if this situation might ever repeat itself. The two of them had incredibly long, messy pasts, and the older the children got, the more they seemed to uncover. "But they're growing up fast. We can't hide everything forever." 

 

"I don't care how old they are, I don't want them to know." She shook her head. 

 

He nodded, though knew that they couldn't keep back everything. There were libraries full of books on the both of them, and erasing a universe full of information on someone as big as them was almost impossible, he'd tried it before.

 

She held tightly onto him, trying to keep her sniffs to a minimum. "I'm sorry." 

 

"It's alright to feel this way." He continued to sooth. "It's alright." 

 

"My hormones are still out of balance," she tried to dismiss, resting her head against his shoulder. 

 

"We did have to lower your dose,” he reminded, taking her hand. "But that doesn't discount what you feel." 

 

"What's going to happen now? The kids are supposed to start school tomorrow and you and I were supposed to go back to work..." 

 

"Well, we're entitled to a maternity leave," he thought. "The kids can still go to school... but we can ask them if they want to wait for a little longer." 

 

She squeezed his hand, "How long are you going to stay out of work?" 

 

"At least until Christmas, maybe more if we need." They'd agreed before Felix was born that after their leave, the Doctor would only teach twice a week so Felix wouldn't ever be without one of his parents. 

 

She nodded, putting a hand to her sore side, "It still feels like it was just a nightmare." 

 

Amelia started to come downstairs. "Mum?" 

 

River's whole body tensed, "Yes?" 

 

She came up to them looking uncertain. "Um... you know...?" she hesitated, "You know when Arthur was born?" River nodded, waiting for her daughter to continue. "You're not, er—nothing like that's going to happen again, is it? You and Felix... are alright?"  Amelia tugged nervously on her fingers. 

 

River shook her head, "No, it won't. We're fine."

"Do you promise?" She searched her mum's face. 

 

"I promise that there isn't anything wrong at the moment. We did scans of Felix and he looks just fine." 

 

"And you?" She looked at the big white bandage on River's head. 

 

"I'm going to be fine too. How much did Freya tell you?"  

 

Amelia looked at the floor guiltily. "Er, everything, I think." 

 

River nodded slowly, "We asked her not to say anything." 

 

"Yeah but.. we don't keep secrets from each other. " 

 

River sighed, putting her head in her hands. The Doctor rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. "And I presume your sister mentioned she was grounded for a while?" 

 

Amelia nodded slowly, "Yeah...she didn't say how long though."  

 

"Two months," he murmured. "And there will be similar consequences if you tell any of your siblings what you heard." 

 

She nodded vigorously, "I won't tell them, I promise." 

 

"Good." He paused. "Amelia, why did you lie to us about where your sister was when we called?" 

 

“She asked me to.” 

 

He sighed. "I appreciate the relationship you two have, my love, but you understand what your mother and I went through to find her? We couldn't find her for a while, and when we did she was in the middle of danger." He explained. "Please, don't ever keep something like that from us again." 

 

“She was supposed to just come talk to you.” 

 

"Even so, I'd like you to promise us that." 

 

“I promise it won’t happen again.” 

 

"Good." He relaxed some. 

 

River squeezed his hand. He squeezed back and offered a weak smile as Felix started whining upstairs. "I'll go get him." River murmured. 

 

Upstairs, Freya had poked her head into the hallway in response to her upset brother, wondering if she should help with anything. River didn't seem to notice, going straight passed her to the baby's room. 

 

Felix was crying in his crib. He wasn't very loud since his lungs were still quite new— it sounded more like mewling. "It's okay." River hushed, lifting him up gently, "It's alright, sweetie." 

 

Felix flailed slightly until he was settled in his mother's arms. River hushed him softly, rocking him back and forth. "What's wrong, my love?" 

 

He whimpered, communicating the need for food through their connection. "Okay, we need to go get the bottles from downstairs." She murmured, carrying him out of the room. 

 

Freya dashed back to her room when she realized River was coming back into the hall, trying to look like she hadn't been watching. River frowned slightly having seen the movement, “Freya...” 

 

"Yeah?" She poked her head back out. 

 

“I know you told Amelia, and I’m going to ask that you don’t tell Arthur or Terra anything. I really don’t want them to know.”

 

Freya looked a bit guilty. "I know... I wasn't going to say anything to them." 

"Thank you."

She glanced at the fussing baby. "Is he okay?" 

 

"He's fine." River assured, "Just hungry." 

 

Freya followed downstairs. "Where's Terra and Arthur, anyway?" 

 

"They're with Jack and Vastra in the TARDIS." River murmured. 

 

"Oh," was all she said in response. 

 

Felix got a little louder with his impatience. "Okay, sweetie, okay." River soothed, moving as best she could to the kitchen. 

 

Freya frowned slightly as she watched her mother move with bodily resistance. "Mum, are you still in pain?" 

 

"A bit." She confessed, knowing Freya would be upset if she lied, "It's pretty normal to be sore after having a baby." 

 

"Does that mean you still have to rest like you were doing on the TARDIS?" 

 

"Yes. Taking a break every once and a while is nice, but it's hard to find the time." 

 

"Um, I can help feed him if you need." She offered.

 

"That's very kind of you to offer, but you don't have to do that. I can manage." River didn't want her daughter to feel like she needed to take responsibility for the baby. 

 

Freya nodded as Felix latched onto the bottle nub and quieted down. "There you go." River hummed softly, "See? There's no reason to cry." Felix blinked up at her, no evidence of his earlier upset on his face. 

 

"Do I still go to school tomorrow?" 

 

"Your Father and I were just talking about that. We were going to let you decide." 

 

"I kind of still want to go." She murmured. There was nothing much for her to do at home since most of her electronics now had parental controls activated. 

 

"Okay, that's fine." River nodded, "Maybe you can convince your siblings to go as well." It would certainly be easier on River and the Doctor if all of their children decided to go to school tomorrow. 

 

"Amelia will probably come." Freya thought aloud. 

 

"I agree, it's Arthur and Terra I'm worried about." River murmured.

 

-x- 

 

_ "No, I don't know what's wrong with her." River huffed into the phone to her husband who was at a luncheon for the physics department. "Can you please just come home? She won't talk to me."  _

 

_ "I'll be there in a minute," the Doctor promised. A minute really did mean one minute when one traveled with a time machine. He stepped out of the blue box when it materialized, "Where is she?"  _

 

_ "She's in her room. She locked me out." River looked exhausted—five months pregnant and fighting with a nine-year-old wasn't exactly the best combination."We're removing those locks, by the way, I don't know why there are locks on her door in the first place."  _

 

_ It had actually been River's insistence to put locks on the doors when Missy had shown up in their lives again, but he wisely didn't comment on that. Instead, he kissed her cheek and said, "I'll take care of it, darling."  _

 

_ "Thank you." She sighed, relaxing just a bit, "I tried everything, but she wouldn't talk to me."  _

 

_ He glanced toward the stairs. "She didn't give any hint?"  _

 

_ "It's something about the baby again." She avoided his eyes.  _

 

_ "What were you talking about before she got upset?" he asked gently.  _

 

_ "I was talking to her about the upcoming school year and all of a sudden she got upset because I told her we were going to stay home with the baby." She sighed, feeling the distress of this situation all over again.  _

 

_ "Hey." He cupped her cheek. "I'll go talk to her. I'm sure this will blow over."  _

 

_ "I know." She nodded, "I wish she wasn't so upset about all of this."  _

 

_ "She'll come around when the baby comes." He assured.  _

 

_ "I hope you're right." River sighed, letting him go try and figure out what was going on with their daughter.  _

 

-x-

 

"I still don't know how Terra feels about the baby." River said to her oldest daughter. 

 

"She still doesn't want him?" Freya asked. 

 

"I don't think so. There are moments where she seems to be alright with it and then she gets upset again." 

 

"Well, she'll have to get used to him eventually." Freya pointed out. 

 

"I know, but I hate seeing her upset. I hate seeing  _ any  _ of you upset." 

 

Freya shrugged and wisely didn't mention being upset over being grounded. "He's pretty happy." She gestured to her brother. 

 

River smiled weakly, "Yes, though it doesn't take much to make him happy." 

 

"We'll all be fine, mum." Freya murmured. "Just need to stick out the rough bits." 

 

“I’m sure you’re right.” 


	88. Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My shirt got dirty while I was burping Felix." River once again had to speak, still unable to sign while holding the baby.
> 
> "[What?]" Terra's frown deepened with unease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)

**Ch 88**

 

Jack, Vastra, and the younger children came back at that moment carrying armfuls of prepared food. River looked surprised, “I thought we were getting take away…?” 

 

"[It was my idea,]" Terra signed once she put her bearings on the kitchen table. 

 

“Did you make all this?” River asked, unable to sign with the baby in her arms. 

 

Terra frowned with confusion at River's moving lips as Vastra answered, "[Terra helped a great deal, yes.]" 

 

“I hope there wasn’t too much arguing.” 

 

"No, no. Terra's a  _ wonderful _ coordinator." 

 

River smiled weakly, "That makes me happy to hear." 

 

"[What are you guys saying?]" Terra signed shortly. 

 

"[Your Mummy was saying that she's very proud of you.]" 

 

"[Oh,]" she relaxed but only slightly. "[Can we eat now?]" 

 

River nodded, "I'll get the Doctor.”

 

The Doctor and Amelia were sitting on the couch in the living room making quiet conversation. River cleared her throat upon entering the room, to alert them of her entrance, "Dinner's ready." 

 

They got up and headed to the kitchen, though the Doctor paused in the doorway by his wife. "She's agreed to go to school tomorrow." 

 

River smiled weakly, "I'm glad. Freya agreed to go too." 

 

"Two down, two to go." He pressed a kiss to her temple. They both knew it would be Terra who wanted to stay home for longer. "I'll call work tonight and tell them I'm taking leave early." 

 

"I'm going to have to call too," she hummed.    
  
_ "You know, I don't think I've ever taken a maternity leave before." The Doctor and River were in bed, the kids all asleep.  _

 

_ "Really? ...Well, there's a first time for everything."  _

 

_ "There's not a lot of admin involved, is there? I hate admin." _

 

_ “I’m afraid so, but it’s fairly straight forward." She assured him, entwining her hand with his, "Besides, they all love you at Bristol."  _

 

_ "I'm concerned whether they'll believe I'm having a baby..." He admitted, squeezing her hand. "I don't exactly look... the same as I used to."  _

 

_ She smiled sympathetically, "How old did you tell them you were again?"  _

 

_ "Er, 60." It sounded infantile to a man over 2000 years old.  _

 

_ She laughed, "You know, I've heard of human men having children at sixty. And for the record, I think you're very sexy."   _

 

_ "You always did have a thing for old relics," he teased, trying to hide his concern.  _

 

_ "Really, my love. There is nothing for you to worry about." She soothed, moving so that she was sitting face to face with him, "If they give you a hard time, you can bring me in to prove it and I'll unleash the hormones on them."  _

 

_ The Doctor didn’t normally care too much of other people’s thoughts, though the two of them did get the occasional dirty look walking down the street. He looked up at her, taking ease in her expression. “Wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of the hormones.”  _

 

_ “I’ll gladly go in there and give them a piece of my mind.” She leaned in to kiss him.  _

 

_ His hands moved to cup her face, melting into her touch. “Thank you.”  _

 

_ She beamed, “Don’t worry, my love. I’ve got your back.”  _

 

_ “I know.” He whispered. “Me too.”  _

 

Felix's whimpers brought River out of the memory, "Can we talk later?" River asked her husband softly. 

 

“Course.” He agreed, offering a smile. 

 

"I'm going to stay back and burp Felix." River murmured. 

 

“Alright,” he nodded, giving her cheek another quick kiss. “I’ll see you in a moment.” 

 

River nodded, going to sit on the sofa. Felix started fussing more, the unpassed burp uncomfortable for him. She hushed him, burping him gently. He whined louder until he finally spat up and instantly calmed again. 

 

River unfortunately got spit up down her back. "Alright, my love. We both need to go get changed now." She brought him upstairs to the nursery first, sitting him down on the changing table. 

 

"Where do we keep your clothes, Felix?" She murmured—of course, it was more to herself than the baby, but she knew the sound of her voice would keep him calm. 

 

Felix watched as River started searching through shelves and drawers for the baby clothes She could feel herself getting overwhelmed the longer she searched without results, trying to think back to where she and the Doctor had decided to put the clothes. 

 

She was starting to resort to just opening random drawers finding socks, blankets, diapers, and pacifiers, but nothing to dress the baby with. It didn't seem that there were actually any baby clothes in the room at all. "Maybe… maybe we have some clothes in Mummy's room." River murmured. 

 

Felix gave up a toothless grin, liking the sound of River's voice. She picked him up once more, taking him to her room. 

 

It took another minute to find, but a box of baby clothes sat in the closet waiting to be moved to the nursery. "Look at that, we found the clothes," she sighed in relief. 

 

Felix, like before, was not a fan of being changed but settled once it was over. River then went to get her own clothes, forgetting that she needed to put something on either side of Felix to prevent him from rolling over. 

 

Realizing the space he had for wiggling, Felix did just that, managing to turn himself onto his belly. Promptly, he burst into tears because he had no idea how to get on his back again. 

 

River raced back to him as the sound of wailing, only half changed, "Oh, I'm sorry, darling." 

 

Quite upset from a having a faceful of mattress, River was a welcomed sight. River hushed him, rocking him slowly. It took him longer to calm down from this ordeal, but eventually, his tears subsided.  

 

River finished getting changed and finally brought the baby down to dinner with the rest of their family. Her usual spot between the Doctor and Terra had been reserved for her. 

 

River sat down, Felix drooling on her shoulder. 

 

"[You changed.]" Terra frowned. 

 

"My shirt got dirty while I was burping Felix." River once again had to speak, still unable to sign while holding the baby. 

 

"[What?]" Her frown deepened with unease. 

 

River glanced at her husband, "Can you help me?" 

 

"Do you want me to interpret or hold him?" He nodded towards the baby. 

 

"Hold him if you don't mind." 

 

He carefully took Felix, freeing up River's hands. River answered her daughter, this time in sign. 

 

Terra didn’t look too pleased, even with an understandable answer. River had never tried to speak with her excluding the occasional mouthed word and practicing her speech homework. Terra couldn't really lip read to begin with, and she certainly wasn't going to start now. 

 

"[I'm sorry, Terra. I can't sign when I'm holding the baby.]" River apologized, reading her face. 

 

“[Then why don’t you have one of those baby sling thingies?]” 

 

"[He's too little for that. He's only a few days old and putting him inside that before he's big enough could hurt him.]" 

 

"[How?]" She looked confused. 

 

“[There's no support for his head in the sling, and newborn babies need help supporting their heads.]” 

 

"[What about the one that goes across your body like a banana?]" She gestured the shape of what she was describing. 

 

River hesitated, “[That one’s not so bad, but I’m not comfortable using it yet. He’s still so little...]” 

 

Terra sighed. "[But you know I can't understand you when you speak.]" 

 

“[We're trying our best to make everything work.]” 

 

Terra looked down at her plate. “[You promised this wouldn’t happen.]” 

 

“I don’t know what to do.” River sighed to her husband. 

 

"I can hold Felix for dinner." He offered, knowing Terra wanted her mother to be able to sign. 

 

“Okay.” River nodded, glancing worriedly at the baby. Felix seemed just as content in the Doctor's arms as he was in River's, and the Doctor looked equally at ease with the newborn. 

 

Terra pouted for a good portion of the meal regardless that River was making an extra effort to sign along with her words. When school was mentioned, Terra was quick to take the option of staying home. 

 

"[Are you sure you don't want to go to school? Don't you miss your friends?]"

 

Terra stared down at the table. She didn't have as many friends as her other siblings did and the ones she did have she saw frequently over summer. "[I want to stay.]" 

 

River frowned, "[Okay...]" 

 

Terra looked defeated at River’s expression. "[Can I be excused?]" 

 

"[Sure.]" River nodded. 

 

Terra hurried from the table, a quiet settling over everyone. River sighed, looking at her husband. 

 

"I'll talk to her after dinner." He whispered, squeezing her hand under the table. 

 

She nodded slowly, "Alright..." 

 

Felix was starting to fall asleep once again as the kids tried to make small talk. Vastra and Jack tried to help the conversation along as well. Regardless of the effort, dinner still ended on a bit of an awkward note. Terra had left her plate mostly untouched. 

 

“Do you want me to come with you to talk to Terra?" River asked the Doctor after dinner. 

 

"We should both talk to her." He looked over at Vastra. "Would you mind taking Felix for a little while?" 

 

"I wouldn't mind." Vastra shook her head, taking the baby from his arms. Felix remained asleep as his parents made their way upstairs. 

 

River held the Doctor's hand tightly, anxious about dealing with their daughter. They stood outside her door. 

 

"Ready?" He asked. 

 

"I guess so." She sighed. 

 

He offered a weak smile before opening the door. They stepped inside, flicking the lights for the girl. 

 

Terra was hiding under her covers, refusing to look up. River walked over to Terra's bed, sitting down beside the lump beneath the blankets and shaking her lightly. Begrudgingly, the girl poked two watery eyes out from beneath the sheets. 

 

River opened her arms up for her, wanting to comfort her. Terra didn't meet her eyes, trying hard not to let her tears spill over. The moment she fell into her mother's arms she couldn't hold back her sobs. River held her daughter tightly, humming. 

 

Terra cried for a long time, not stopping until her body was too tired to produce anything more than shuddering breaths. River rubbed her back, continuing to hold her even when she finished crying. 

 

"[Terra, my love, why did you want to leave dinner early?]" The Doctor started gently. 

 

She sniffed, "[Because you only care about the baby.]" 

 

"[Why do you think that, dear?]" 

 

"[Because Mummy doesn't sign when she's holding him and you want me to go to school.]" 

 

He didn't jump to defense immediately, not wanting to invalidate what she as feeling. "[We're going to let you stay home from school this week because of what happened.]" 

 

"The whole week?" River frowned, feeling as though a week was a bit much. 

 

"It's mostly half days anyway," he pointed out. 

 

"But still, if we let her stay home the whole week, she'll want to stay home next week too. It'll be too hard to get her to go back." 

 

"How long did you have in mind?"

 

"Two days at most." 

 

Terra was starting to frown at all the speaking that was happening above her. "[What are you saying?]" She asked impatiently. 

 

"[We're talking about school.]" River signed, "[You can stay home tomorrow if you really want to, but I'd rather you go to school.]" 

 

Terra looked hurt. "[Is it because you don't want me here?]" 

 

"[No, it's because school is important and I don't want you to miss it.]" River defended. 

 

Terra glared away from her. "[This is what Kyle said would happen.]" 

 

River frowned, [What do you mean?]" 

 

"Kyle's the boy who was pushing her last school year," the Doctor recalled. One of the main reasons was that Kyle had functioning hearing aids which Terra's profound deafness didn't allow for. 

 

"[He said that the only reason I was getting a brother was so you could have a hearing baby and now you don't even sign with me and he was right!]" Terra said this all quite quickly and was in tears yet again by the end of it. 

 

"[That is not true at all.]" River shook her head, "[Kyle doesn't know what he's talking about.]" 

 

"[But everything he said would happen _ is  _ happening.]" 

 

"[That's because Kyle has a younger brother too. He knows what it's like to have a baby in the house. Everything that he said would happen is happening because that's just what happens when a new baby comes to the house. It's not because we don't love you or we wanted to replace you.]" 

 

"[He said his parents stopped signing with him and made him talk all the time.]" She whimpered. 

 

"[Well we're not going to make you do that.]" River assured her. 

 

“[But at dinner you talked and didn’t sign.]” 

 

"[That's because I was holding the baby. I can't sign and hold the baby at the same time.]"  

 

Terra nodded slowly, realizing that it sounded a little ridiculous to ask River to sign without hands. “[Why did you have him then?]” 

 

"[It's a bit of a long story, my sweet.]" The Doctor started carefully. "[When we found out your mum was pregnant, we were happy. Not because we weren't happy enough with you or your siblings, but because we love you all so much we couldn't bear to change the course we were on.]" 

 

“[So you didn’t do it on purpose?]” 

 

"[No. Not really.]" 

 

Terra nodded, starting to feel a bit better. They stayed with her for a while, doing their best to iron out as many of Terra's insecurities as was possible at the moment. By the end of their talk, Terra was feeling a bit better. Although she still wasn't sold on the idea of having a brother, she was more accepting than she had previously been. 

 

They stopped when Amelia came upstairs to inform them that Felix wasn't taking his bottle. 

 

"Okay, we're coming." River rose to go take care of it. Terra followed her mother curiously downstairs. 


	89. Time Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I didn't expect it to be easy," he murmured. "And I don't expect smooth, simple solutions to anything. I know there'll have to be compromises and I'll be here through them, I promise." He took her hands. "If this is what you want, I'll support it. I just want to make sure that this is a compromise and not a sacrifice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya folks. I'm updating early this week because I am about to go traveling. I wanted to let you know because this means I won't be updating for the next two weeks... sorry to leave you with a cliffhanger, it was an accident I swear. Enjoy!

**Ch 89**

 

"Is everything okay?" River asked Vastra upon arriving the kitchen. Amelia and Terra had followed in as well.

 

"Yes, it's fine." Vastra could see River's worry, so she spoke calmly. "I think my complexion scares him, is all." 

 

"Oh, Felix. Why in the universe are you afraid of Auntie Vastra?" River soothed, carefully taking the baby from the other woman’s arms. The fussing baby calmed down once River was holding him. "It's okay, my love." She hushed, "Auntie Vastra is so kind, there's no reason to be afraid." 

 

"I take no offense," Vastra assured. "He'll recognize me in due time." 

 

River hummed softly to the baby as she tried to get him to drink his bottle, though he still refused. 

 

"[Why won't he eat?]" Terra asked. 

 

"I'm not sure.” River frowned, her worry evident. Amelia translated River’s words to her sister.

 

"[Can I try?]" Terra asked. 

 

River's face brightened a bit, pleasantly surprised at Terra’s request. "Yes, but you have to sit down in the chair."  

 

Terra hesitantly sat herself down in a chair. 

 

"[You have to support his head.]" Amelia signed, repeating what her mother had said. 

 

Terra looked concentrated as she adjusted Felix in the arms. Even for the boy being small for a newborn, he looked big in Terra's arms. River knelt down beside her daughter, making sure the baby didn't fall. 

 

Terra signed one-handedly, "[It's hard to talk when I hold him.]" 

 

"[If you want me to take him, just shake your head like this.]" River shook her head in a small circle for example. 

 

Terra nodded her understanding as she took the bottle in hand. Felix whined a bit, then after a moment of encouragement, accepted the food. Terra blinked in surprise, not quite having expected this to work. That, and she'd never bottle-fed anything other than her dolls which were certainly a different experience from this living, breathing baby. 

 

Felix stared up at her with his big blue eyes. Terra stared back, half bewildered, half uncertain as if Felix might startle like a cat. The bottle was about half finished when Terra used the head signal indicating she was done holding him. 

 

River lifted the baby out of her arms, taking the bottle as well. “Very good.” She mouthed to her daughter, smiling. 

 

Terra wrinkled her nose. "[Does he like me?]" 

 

River nodded.

 

"[How do you know?]" 

 

“Because he took the bottle from you. He doesn’t like eating from the bottle, but he took it from you.” She smiled. Amelia relayed the information once more. 

 

The bottle slipped out of Felix’s mouth for a moment, to which Terra stared authoritatively at him and sighed ‘eat’. Felix decided he wasn’t interested anymore, whimpering as River tried to finish feeding him. 

 

“[Why won’t he eat anymore?]” Terra frowned. 

 

“He doesn’t like the bottle. It happens with some babies sometimes,” River answered, though she’d never met a baby who hated bottled more than Felix did. Even her other children didn’t mind being bottle fed so much as babies.

 

“[Can’t you feed him the other way?]” 

 

“[No. I’m taking medicine that he can’t have.]” she shook her head. 

 

Terra nodded, though seemed slightly worried. “[What if he under eats, though?]” 

 

“[We won’t let him.]”

 

-x-

 

_ “We should go to lunch—department approvals can wait, the baby’s hungry.” River stood up from her chair in the Doctor’s office, “The scones in that cafe we like looked amazing when we passed by this morning.”  _

 

_ “I missed last week’s meeting, my love. I’m going I start running out of excuses at this rate.”  The Doctor’s words were probably meant seriously, but it came out in an endearing tone.  _

 

_ She sighed, “You’re right, I’m sorry. It just seems we’ve had less and less time together this month.” When it came to interrupting work matters, the TARDIS used to be available for sneaking off without repercussions. Their usual excursions weren't so forgiving nowadays since the ship was being occupied by a mad Timelady.  _

 

_ "I know, Riv." He reached out and took her hand, pulling her into his lap. "But makes me appreciate the time we do have all the more."  _

 

_ She hummed softly, “I could call Nardole and have him bring some scones over for us so we can spend more time together.”  _

 

_ He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. "There's a clever idea."  _

 

_ “Or maybe Ramone...”  _

 

_ "Not him." The Doctor scowled. Ramone had never stopped pining for River, even after the whole fob watch fiasco. Even knowing River was married, Ramone still flirted with her given the chance, which was why the man put the Doctor on edge.  _

 

_ “But he’s so efficient. And I like the way you get after I talk to him.” She teased. ‘ _

 

_ "And how, dare I ask, do I look?" He challenged one eyebrow lifting.  _

 

_ “Well, you get all possessive. And you get that look you get like you want to snog me senseless...among other things.”  _

 

_ His scowl faded into a look of amusement. "Other things?" He quizzed innocently.  _

 

_ “You look like you want to shag me up against the nearest wall.”  _

 

_ "That's just my normal face." He insisted.  _

 

_ She laughed, “Yes it is. It’s a shame you don’t give in more often.”  _

 

_ He laughed as well, looking over her with just about the same look she was describing. In a sudden movement, he switched them so she was under him, pinned against his desk. “‘Give in’, did you put it?” _

 

_ Her breathing instantly quickened, “Mmm-hmm”  _

 

_ They didn’t end up getting their scones until after the department meeting—which the Doctor arrived to late, hair a bit of a mess. The two were sitting in the cafe, River quite content with her scones, when Ramone entered.  _

 

_ The Doctor saw him first, quick to scowl in his direction. "He'd better not be thinking about coming over here."  _

 

_ Ramone, of course, immediately walked over upon spotting River. The Doctor groaned silently, looking at River in hopes she'd send him away.  _

 

_ “I’ll handle it.” She murmured.  _

 

_ "River." Ramone breezed right over the Doctor, ignoring him. "Good to see you on campus again."  _

 

_ “It’s good to see you too.” She smiled, standing.  _

 

_ "Been busy?" It wasn't really a question as Ramone looked her over, spotting the six-month baby bump under River’s dress.  _

 

_ The Doctor grumbled into his coffee mug.  _

 

_ “Yes. My husband and I have been getting ready for the new baby.” She smiled, putting her hand on the Doctor’s arm.  _

 

_ The Doctor's expression softened and Ramone's fell just a bit. "I _ _ see... You must be very, er, excited."  _

 

_ “Yes, very. We can’t wait.” She beamed, smoothing her hand over her round middle.  _

 

_ Ramone looked like he might ask to feel the baby kick, through a protective glare from the man at the table made him hesitate and resolve to the kind of adult-small talk one had surrounding an expecting parent. "When are you due?"  _

 

_ “A month and a half.” She smiled, brushing her hair off her shoulders, revealing the love bite on her neck.  _

 

_ The Doctor grinned to himself and Ramone looked a bit flushed. "O-oh. Well, congratulations. I'm sure you've lots to get back to."  _

 

_ “We do, thank you.” She smiled. He excused himself in the least awkward way as he could manage.  _

 

_ The Doctor looked a bit amused now as River sat back down. "He's like a puppy around you."  _

 

_ She laughed, “Does that amuse you?”  _

 

_ "For someone who's so obviously pining for you, he's quite shy around you." It wasn't a real answer to her question. "Doesn't it bother you at all?"  _

 

_ “Well…” she shrugged, “You know I like my men a bit more forward.”  _

 

_ "I would think that was clear." He tapped his neck, reminding her that the marks he'd left on hers were in plain sight.  _

 

_ She laughed, moving her hair back over the hickies. “I’d say you fill that role quite well.”  _

 

_ "I'd hope so," he smirked. He took her hand over the table, stroking his thumb over her skin.  _

 

_ She leaned in to kiss him again, “Anyway, as I was saying, I did a scan before I came to meet you and the baby gained a bit more weight.”  _

 

_ “Right on track then.” He looked satisfied at this information.  _

 

_ “He’s going to be very healthy.” She commented this after almost every scan she did, which the Doctor knew was due to her anxiety about something going wrong.  _

 

_ "I wouldn't let anything happen to him, Riv."  _

 

_ “I know, it’s just… you know how everything is with Missy around.”  _

 

_ "I know." He squeezed her hand. "But we're in the homestretch now. We can make it through the rest."  _

 

_ “I know, I hope he stays in here.”  _

 

_ He offered a smile. "Everything will go just fine."  _

 

_ “I know.” She sighed.  _

 

-x- 

 

Felix was put to bed shortly before Vastra and Jack left. Terra was put to bed not long after that. It was when the Doctor and River were in their own room and the house was quiet that the Doctor inquired about River's earlier request. "You said you wanted to talk?" 

 

River nodded, “I’m worried about Felix. He’s still not eating. I feel like I need to come off the medication so I can feed him properly.” 

 

"You've barely been on it for a week..." He said hesitantly. 

 

“But he needs to eat and he’s not.” She was quite distressed about this. 

 

"I know. I just don't want you to have to sacrifice your mental health for that." 

 

“But he needs to eat.” She repeated. “And I want to be able to do it. I hate not being able to.” 

 

"Alright." He resigned, knowing it was ultimately her decision. "...But I think we should plan ahead and find you an alternative that will still help you."  

 

“I’m sorry this is so hard.” She sighed. “I️ wish that it wasn’t like this.” 

 

"I didn't expect it to be easy," he murmured. "And I don't expect smooth, simple solutions to anything. I know there'll have to be compromises and I'll be here through them, I promise." He took her hands. "If this is what you want, I'll support it. I just want to make sure that this  _ is _ a compromise and not a sacrifice." 

 

“I want to be able to give him what he needs and I feel like we’re not bonding in the way we should.” She squeezed his hands, “I want to do this.” 

 

“Okay.” He pulled her close enough to kiss her forehead, “Then that's what we'll do." 

 

“Thank you for understanding.” She murmured. “What...what else did you tell Amelia?” 

 

“She asked if Felix would have major health issues from being so early. I was just explaining how we were able to avoid that, for the most part.” They wouldn’t know about any cognitive issues until he was older. 

 

She nodded slowly, “Okay.” 

 

“Was that okay?” 

 

“Yes. That’s fine.” She gave him a weak smile. It was still difficult to think about Felix’s birth.

 

Sensing that she might need a change of subject he added, “You’ll have to be off the medication for 36 hours before you can breastfeed.” 

 

“Is there any way we can flush it out faster?” 

 

“Well... I suppose you could cut it down to 24 hours if you pushed constant fluids.” He reasoned. 

 

“24 is the fastest?” She frowned, still not satisfied. 

 

“Yes, I’m afraid so... Felix will be okay, my love. He’s still eating at least some of his bottles,” he added. 

 

“But I want to help him.” She sat down on the bed, “I’ve let him down so much already.”  

 

“Hardly any of that was your conscious fault,” he said calmly, sitting next to her. “There isn’t a safe way to make the time shorter, yes, but taking care of yourself is part of how you take care of our son.” 

 

She rested her head against his shoulder, “I wish we wouldn’t have tried to bring Missy back. If we had just left her then this wouldn’t have happened.” 

 

He nodded wordlessly, knowing that nothing he could say would change what happened or how she felt about it. 

 

River winced, putting a hand to her side.

“Alright?" he frowned. 

 

She nodded, “Just sore.” 

 

"Okay," he said uncertainly. 

 

“It’s just an ache. It happens every so often.” 

 

He relaxed at her explanation, trusting that she'd let him know if she needed anything. 

 

“Would you mind reading to me?” She asked softly. 

 

“I’d love to,” he murmured rising to get a book. “Anything specific?” 

 

“Anything.” She shrugged, sitting back on the bed. 

 

He generally took it upon himself to pick from their favorites when River showed no preference. He pulled out a bit of poetry and settled back by her side. River curled up against him.

 

He was only a few pages in when River winced hard again. He paused the reading, "Are you sure you're just sore?"

 

“I’m fine.” She shook her head. 

 

"River, if there's something wrong I'd like for you to tell me Sometimes... you try to power through things that you can't just grin and bear." He was accustomed to what pain looked like on her, and this appeared sharp, not sore. 

 

She sighed, “It’s pretty sharp I suppose. I keep thinking it’s passed and then it comes back.” She admitted. 

 

"Pelvic?" he asked carefully. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

"Do you feel nauseous?" 

 

“A little. It’s weird, the pain it mean, it kind of feels like a contraction does.” 

 

He nodded slowly. "I'd like to do a scan if that's alright with you." 

 

“That’s fine.” 

 

He relaxed just slightly, glad that she didn't protest. He knew she wasn't fond of the medbay due to the unpleasant memories, so he pulled out the table side scanner. She laid still, waiting. 

 

They waited for a minute, the Doctor looking patient in an effort not to look worried. The results beeped in. River’s body tended as the pain returned. "It looks like an infection." He murmured, concern leaking into his voice. 

 

“An infection?” 

 

"Yes, a bacterial one. I think you picked it up on the colony ship and it the incubation period is ending," he explained. 

 

“Why does it feel like a contraction then.” She frowned. 

 

"I'm not sure... Have you had any unusual discharge?"  

 

“I just had a baby, everything is unusual right now”.”

 

“Right… and unfortunately, if you're going to go on antibiotics, you can't breastfeed Felix." 

 

This caught her attention more. “I don’t want to go on the antibiotics then.” 

 

He had a feeling that she was going to say that. "If that's what you really want... Your immune system  _ is s _ trong enough to fight the infection on its own, but it will take much, much longer without the antibiotics. 14 weeks at probably. Maybe 18 at most. And I can't give you much for the pain either because of Felix." He knew that changing her mind was near impossible, but he wanted her to understand everything that what would likely happen to her body by this decision. "I'd like to take some samples to analyze, though. Your symptoms are a bit unusual and I might be able to help more if I knew what kind of bacteria this is." 

 

“Okay.” She nodded, “That’s fine. I just want to feed him.” 

 

“You’ll still be able to feed him in 24 hours if you push fluids,” he promised. 

 

“What samples do you need?” 

 

He briefly explained the because it was a uterine infection that a pad's worth of what passed would be enough. She agreed, getting up to go get everything ready for him then going to bed, or at least trying to sleep. 


	90. Echoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, you're about to faint." He hurried them to their bedroom and made her sit on the end of the bed. She was grateful to sit, looking pale and tired. "Follow my finger with your eyes," he said, the concern in his face not looking like it would fade anytime soon. "When did all this start?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back :D enjoy

**Ch 90**

 

The Doctor stayed up a little later than River so he could go to the medbay to set up the samples and have some results for River by morning. He was about to go to bed when Felix started crying and the Doctor rerouted himself to the nursery.  

Felix was squirming in his cot. The Doctor flicked the light on and moved to pick the boy up. He quickly discovered that Felix was hungry and brought him down to the kitchen where the bottles were.

Felix refused the bottle just as he’d done before.

"I promise you, this is Mummy's milk. She's put it in here for you, it won't taste bad." The Doctor knew Felix wouldn't understand, but he said it anyways. 

After a good ten minutes in the kitchen trying this, the Doctor put the bottle down and sighed. "My love, there's no other food for you besides bottles until tomorrow." 

“Is everything alright?” A sleepy River stumbled into the kitchen. 

He looked up slightly startled, Felix still fussing in his arms. "I thought you were asleep." 

“I was trying to but the cramps are keeping me up,” She admitted, walking over. 

"He's refusing the bottle," the Doctor explained quietly. 

“This is why I want to be able to breastfeed him,” she sighed, holding her arms out to take the baby. 

“I know,” he whispered, gently passing over the fussing infant. “Pain’s still bad?” “

“Yeah,” She rocked the baby, trying to getting him to take the bottle.

“Do you want some Tylenol or something?” 

“I just want to calm him down,” she replied, not really answering. 

“The humming was helping just a little,” he suggested. 

River started to hum, though it was hard to hear over Felix’s cries. The Doctor recognized the tune and joined in, standing close. The baby started to calm down as the two adults hummed—half comforted and half worn out from his fit, and finally allowed the bottle into his mouth. 

“He gets so fussy.” River murmured after Felix had finished the milk. 

“It’s the only way he knows how to communicate.” 

“I know. I hate not being able to do anything to help though.” 

"You're doing all you can." 

“I know but it doesn’t feel like enough.” 

They started up the stairs to put Felix back in his cot. Terra was waiting at the top of the steps, watching quietly as her parents carried her new brother up. 

The Doctor offered a small smile to the Terra when he saw her. "[What are you doing up, my little star?]" 

“[I had a bad dream.]” she frowned. 

He glanced at River. "Why don't you tuck Felix in? I'll take care of Terra." 

"Okay." She nodded, bringing Felix to the nursery. 

River sat with him in the rocking chair for a while before putting him in the crib. Felix looked convincingly like he was going to stay asleep this time, much unlike when the Doctor had come in. Soft edges of dreams floated from the baby's mind to his mother's, an occurrence that usually only happened in deep sleep. 

River smiled softly, though her thoughts were starting to haze over. This wasn’t something that had happened before from the link, but the dizziness came too quickly for River to have time to question it. Perhaps it wasn’t from the link at all.

The Doctor peered in after a moment. "Riv?" His voice sounded distant to her. 

"Hmm?" 

He came up next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "You look like you're going to fall asleep standing." 

She leaned against him, "I... I feel a bit light-headed." 

He frowned slightly. "You should lie down." 

River meant to take a step forward to the gravity suddenly stopped working in the right direction and she stumbled into her husband instead. 

“River...!" Her name came out with more worry this time as his grip tightened around her. 

"I'm okay." She murmured, putting a hand to her head. 

"No, you're about to faint." He hurried them to their bedroom and made her sit on the end of the bed. She was grateful to sit, looking pale and tired. "Follow my finger with your eyes," he said, the concern in his face not looking like it would fade anytime soon. "When did all this start?" 

"I don't know." She murmured, following his finger, "Not that long ago." 

The scan from earlier had shown mostly regular levels and vitals aside the infection, so he was sure it couldn't be a complication with her medication. "Can you describe it to me?" 

"I just feel light headed, I'll be fine if I sleep." She tried to reason. 

"River, until I know what's going on, sleeping could do the very opposite to you." 

“Now, don’t you go all doctor on me,” she teased through her tone was hollow.

He felt like he was back on the spaceship. All her symptoms from the contraction-like pains to the fatigue and weakness like she'd had from the brain bleed were remarkably mirroring the recent past. He paused as this thought passed through his head and dragged with it an alarming theory. "I'd like you to come to the medbay." 

She shrugged, not having the energy to argue. He half carried her into the TARDIS, most of her weight on him. She stumbled along aide him as best she could, sitting down on the table, wincing. 

“Was that the abdominal pain?” He asked at the wince. 

She nodded. “It’s hasn’t stopped.” 

He got to work setting up new scanners and checking the old ones he’d pre-set before tending to Felix. “Are they getting stronger?” 

“Definitely. How did you know?” 

“A hunch that I’m really hoping is wrong.” 

“What do you think is happening?” 

"I think the bacteria was mutated from being in such close proximity to the black hole." The results came in on the scanners and the Doctor read them quickly. "Oh..." 

“What is it?” River was trying not to worry, but the Doctor’s anxiety wasn’t the matter.

"I was wrong about how it evolved.  _ D _ _ ysana  _ erythromia _.  _ It was a man-made disease—a bioweapon, actually." He put the scanner down as he explained, "Specifically, it targets the physical memory of pain and puts it on repeat. You've got a mutated strain and I think it's repeating the physical memory of everything that happened to you on the ship once we got to the lower levels. Do you understand?" 

“I think so?” She breathed, “Is there something we can do about it?” 

"Possibly. No bioweapon was ever made without an antidote, but there's a chance your strain it too mutated for it to work. How did it get on a colony ship?" 

She groaned in pain, gripping his hand tightly. 

"I've got you," he whispered, snapping out of his thoughts. 

“So," she took a shaky breath, “You’re telling me that I’m going to go through all the pain of childbirth and a brain bleed without getting a baby at the end?”

“And without having a real brain bleed,” he added, then realized that this wasn’t very helpful. "Do you want an epidural?" 

“Yes,” she agreed quickly. 

“Alright,” his voice softened as realized she was just as nervous as he was. “Lie down.”

She did as she was told as he gathered the materials for it. The process was more painful than she expected and she had to grip the side of the bed, but she supposed it would be worth it in a few minutes. 

Then they waited. And waited. 

The pains kept coming and River tried desperately not to complain, but after a while should couldn’t help but ask, “How long does it take to work?”

“It shouldn’t have taken more than ten minutes,” he answered. 

River glanced at the clock--it had been thirty. “Does this mean it won’t work at all?”

“I think so…” he sighed. 

“Why not?” She winced. 

“It must be the way the bacteria works,” he murmured something about it hijacking her nervous system but she couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to it. “You're going to have to wait it out until I can get the antidote together." 

She nodded, trying not to look too disappointed. 

"I'm going to run out and find it." He kept his voice soft now and kissed her forehead. 

"You're going to leave me?" She looked a bit panicked at this. 

"The sooner we have a form of antidote, the sooner I can try to make this pain go away." 

"I don't want you to go,” she whimpered. 

Her expression tugged at his hearts. "Why don't I call in a favor from Jack, then?" 

She nodded, "Okay, I just don't want to do this alone." 

He got his phone out to dial Jack. "What's up, Doc?" Jack answered after a couple of rings. 

"I need a favor," he said seriously, explaining the situation. Jack, of course, agreed to help, saying he would get everything together as soon as possible. They finished the arrangement, the Doctor hanging up. "He'll get the antidote." 

She didn’t answer, trying to breathe through another ‘contraction’ and not think of the recent memories it brought back. The Doctor allowed her to crush his hand, using his free one to stroke her hair back. 

“Why didn’t you get the infection too?” River asked once the pain finally passed. 

"I'm not sure. It's possible the Master did something while we were unconscious." 

“Then Missy must have known.” She scowled. 

“We don’t know anything for certain,” he reminded.

“Can we move to another room?” She murmured, “I don’t want to sit in the medbay.” 

He agreed, helping her get up. The two walked to their bedroom together, the TARDIS making sure it was close to them. The Doctor helped River get as comfortable as was possible and made sure there was an active baby monitor by the bed in case Felix woke up again. 

"I need a distraction," River breathed, "Anything… please..." 

"I could read again...?" he volunteered.  

"Sure." She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut.  He took the closest book from the shelf and moved to sit next to her. "Which book is that?" She asked, her body starting to tense again. 

He glanced at the cover. "Rebels of the River," he said. It was a story from Sov K53 originally published in 6044. He took her hand, silently reminding her to breathe as he started the book.

As this was happening, Terra pushed open the door to their bedroom, tiptoeing inside. She watched her unobserving parents silently, frowning at her mother's apparent pain. 

She watched their mouths move in a conversation, able to pick out a few words like “alright” and “okay.” 

"[What are you doing?]" Terra asked after a moment.

Both her parents looked at her with surprise, just now registering her presence. The Doctor glanced at River, "[Mummy's gotten sick, so we're waiting for Uncle Jack to bring some medicine.]" 

Her frown deepened, examining the situation. She didn't know much about babies, but her sisters had told her a bit about what happens when a baby was born and the scene in front of her seemed oddly similar to what they had described, "[Is Mummy having another baby?]" 

"[No.]" The Doctor assured, wondering if he should try to explain the nature of the illness. 

"[But...her belly is still big and it looks like she's having a baby]" 

"[Felix was only born a week ago. Everything doesn't go right back to how it was before after a baby comes out,]" he said carefully. "[It takes a while for the uterus to shrink down and for all the rest of the, um, stuff to pass out, so her belly may still look bigger for a while.]" 

"[But why does she look hurt?]" Terra continued to question. 

He, again, glanced between River and Terra. "[She's sick with something that makes her hurt.]" 

"[My tummy hurts too.]" Terra signed, trying to wiggle up onto the bed. 

He was glad for the change in conversation. "[In what way, lovie?]" 

"[It feels bad and twirly.]" She crawled across the bed to cuddle with her parents. 

He welcomed her into his arms. "[Do you feel like you might throw up?]" 

She nodded, tugging on River's arm to get her to cuddle too, not understanding the amount of pain that River was in. "[Mummy, cuddle.]" The girl signed. 

"I think I should grab a bucket in case she's sick," the Doctor murmured.  

River nodded, trying to accommodate Terra. "That'd be a good idea." 

He got up for a moment and brought back a bowl for Terra. “[If you feel like you might be sick, try to do it in this.]” 

She ended up getting sick just a few minutes later, of course, completely missing the bowl and getting it all over the bed instead. 

The Doctor, used to sick children, made Terra go wash up. While she was in the bath, he helped River to a nearby chair so he could change the sheets. River's pain was getting much worse, her face flushed.

“How’re you holding up?” He asked, placing down fresh sheets on the bed. 

"I'm o-okay." She grimaced, "I'm sorry I can't help." 

“You’re reliving active labor.” He pointed out, not that she needed reminding. “You should rest as much as you can...I’m sorry the epidural didn’t work.” 

“It’s fine.” She breathed, “I just want you here with me.” 

He nodded, crouching in front of her and taking her hands. “Was it okay what I told Terra?” 

She nodded, gripping his hands tightly, “She didn’t seem to pay it much mind.” 

"Well, I'm not sure she fully understood." He made a noise of sympathy when the next pain came. "Jack should be here soon." 

"I hope so." She groaned, holding onto him tighter. He held her through the pain, whispering comforts to her. 

By the time Jack arrived, River was sweating, her cries of pain had become much louder and her hair was matted against her forehead. 

"I'm sorry it took so long," Jack hurriedly got the antidote out of his bag. 

"Are you sure this is going to w-work?" River panted.

"No," answered the Doctor. Jack winced as River cried out, handing the drug over. The Doctor got it ready quickly. "If it doesn't, I should be able to fix it so it does, but it'll take time." 

She squeezed her eyes shut, gripping on to whoever hand was available. At this point, it was both the Doctor and Jack who offered hands--they promptly got crushed. 

"Here," the Doctor offered up the pill as Jack shook out his hand and examined it for damage. 

River immediately took the pill, "I'm so hot..." 

"Jack, would you mind grabbing a cold water?" The Doctor asked. 

Jack nodded, quickly leaving to the room to fetch the water. 

River looked wearily up at the Doctor, exhausted and just trying to breathe. He stroked a damp curl off her face. "If it works, that was the last one." 

She nodded, leaning into his touch, too exhausted to speak. Jack returned shortly with the water, which he offered to River quickly. She gratefully accepted, "I'm sorry." She breathed. 

By this point, they had been up for hours. "River, there's nothing to apologize for." The Doctor insisted. 

She groaned as the muscles in her abdomen started to tense again. His face fell, knowing now that it hadn't worked. "Jack, would you see that Terra gets to bed?" The girl had fallen asleep after her bath on the clean sheets of their bed, undisturbed by the noise. 

Jack nodded, going and scooping Terra up. 

"We're going to figure this out, Riv." The Doctor said quietly. "I need to go back to the medbay and see what I can do to fix this." This was partly said in the question of whether she would come too. 

“I don’t know if I can walk all the way back there.” She confessed. 

"I can wheel you if you'd prefer to come." 

 

“I’d like to stay with you.” 


	91. Rivers Until I Reach You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We could try the epidural again..." he suggested after a moment.
> 
> “It didn’t work last time. It’s not going to work this time,” She gritted out. “It’s just not compatible with my biology.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are back to our regularly scheduled updates. Bit short today, but enjoy :)

**Ch 91**

 

They stopped in the kitchen on the way to the medbay when River asked for more water. 

 

She practically downed it all in one go when he handed her the glass. “I don’t want Terra near the baby if she’s sick,” she said, wiping her mouth.

 

"I'll let Jack know." 

 

She squeezed her eyes shut with another pain. She groaned, knuckles white as she grasped the arms of the wheelchair. The Doctor found a cloth towel, running it under the tap before dampening her forehead with it. “Breathe,” he whispered, keeping the cool cloth against her heated skin. 

 

She tried to take a very deep breath, whimpering in pain. J ust as River’s contraction was ending, Felix’s cries could be heard from down the hall again. 

 

The Doctor sighed silently, already knowing that he wasn't going to leave River alone. He brought her with him out of the TARDIs and into the flat to the nursery. 

 

"Mummy and daddy are here, my love." The Doctor hummed as they entered. He left River's side momentarily to scoop the baby up. "What wrong, hmm?" 

 

The baby whimpered and squirmed a little.

 

"Is he saying anything?" The Doctor asked River. 

 

“I don’t know, I-I can’t focus.” She took a breath. “Would you mind if we set him up in the medbay with us? It'd be easier to have him close if we're going to be there all night." 

 

“That’s fine.” He handed Felix over to River so he could push the wheelchair. 

 

River struggled to hold the baby during the next contraction, trying not to squish him. Felix didn't seem to mind so much, calmer in his mother's arms than he'd been alone in his cot, even if her grip was snug. River tried to be quiet so she wouldn’t scare him—she hadn’t had to watch her volume so much when Terra was in the room. 

 

The medbay looked slightly different when they arrived back there. The TARDIS had tried to make it look a little homier, so the wallpaper was now a yellow instead of white. There was a crib in the corner for Felix and the cot that usually looked like a hospital bed now just looked like a plain bed one might find in a guest room, complete with a quilt and a nightstand. 

 

"Holding up okay?" The Doctor asked. 

 

River nodded with shaky breaths. “It looks different in here.” 

 

“Looks like the old girl tried to make it more comfortable for you.” He and the TARDIS knew all too well the reasons why River disliked the medbay. 

 

He helped River onto the bed and Felix into his crib, cooing at his son. "You can stay right here while mummy and daddy work, alright lovie?" The Doctor turned back to his wife once their son was settled. "We could be here for a while." 

 

She didn’t respond, her whole body visibly tense. He gently took her hand and sat on the edge of the bed. Her hands trembled in his, her lips pressed tightly together.  "We could try the epidural again..." he suggested after a moment. 

 

“It didn’t work last time. It’s not going to work this time,” She gritted out. “It’s just not compatible with my biology.”

 

He sighed, knowing she was right. "I'd like a to set up a saline drip at least. You're dehydrated." 

 

“Okay.” She agreed. He rose only when she released his hand and set up a line for her, kissing her forehead when he had finished. “Can you distract me?” 

 

"Sure, but—" 

 

She swore in pain before he could ask any follow-up questions. “Say something.” She begged.

 

He jumped to the first story that came to mind, recalling a date they’d had on Tyrphaxio Lamda. 

 

As River sucked in breathes as evenly as she could manage, she found that the story was actually helping. Perhaps it was just that the Doctor was tracing circles into her skin and moving holding her closer. 

 

“What happened after that?” River breathed, trying to keep up with him as he told the story. 

 

"That's when one of our favorite songs came on," he smiled stroking her damp curls off her face. "You were so thrilled that you dragged me right to the dance floor and didn’t even care that I was stepping on your feet." 

 

She smiled weakly, “I remember now.” 

 

"I don't suppose you remember the look on my face when that man tried to ask you for a turn to dance?" 

 

“Perhaps you could recreate it for me?” 

 

He chuckled, then dawned the best jealous scowl he could. River laughed softly, a sound that quickly turned into a whimper of pain. 

 

He tried to continue the story quickly. "You did dance with him, but you insisted it was because, how did you put it, ‘'I look sexy when I'm jealous.'" 

 

Jack knocked at that moment, poking his head in. "How's everything going in here?" 

 

River groaned loudly. 

 

"I guess that answers that." Jack murmured. "I read Terra a book and gave her some medicine. She's asleep now. Do you guys want any help in here?" 

 

“We need to adjust the antidote.” River breathed once she was able to, “Help would be appreciated.” 

 

The Doctor pointed to where the medicine was on the table. As it were, he hadn't actually gotten a chance to work on it, busy helping River deal with the pain. 

 

“I’ll work on it.” Jack offered, letting River and the Doctor go back to what they had been doing. They thanked him and resumed their conversation. 

 

Jack didn't make any of his usual snide comments in the next hour or two, regardless of having plenty of opportunity to. Anything he did say was a question about what he was doing and what he should do next—except for one comment about Felix being a very cute sleeper. 

 

River was beyond exhausted, too tired to even react when Jack claimed to have ‘probably finished’. 

 

The Doctor kissed her forehead. "I'm just going to go double check it. I'll be right back." He looked plenty worried as he went over to see Jack's work. 

 

“I think I’ve got it.” Jack murmured, pointing out the adjustments. 

 

The Doctor looked over all of Jack's work carefully, reading and re-reading all the new diagnostics. "Alright, let's give it a go."

 

The Doctor was back at his wife's side and Jack pushed the drug through her IV. It was her third unit of the night due to her perspiration so much from the pain, but with any luck, it would also be her last. 

 

“I’m so tired.” River murmured, squeezing the Doctor’s hand. 

 

"I know, my love." He stroked her hair back. "Let's give the medicine a chance to work, hmm?" 

 

Several minutes passed and no new contractions came. It was the longest break River had gotten in the past hour. "How do you feel?" 

 

“Exhausted and sore.” She breathed. 

 

"You did great," The Doctor praised, pressing chaste kisses to her cheek and mouth. "And do you know what the good news is?"

 

"What's the good news?" She murmured. 

 

"You'll be able to feed Felix in a few hours when he wakes up." 

 

She smiled weakly, "Good, that makes me happy." 

 

It was almost four in the mourning and Felix still slept soundly in the temporary medbay cot. "Do you think you can sleep?" 

 

"If you stay." 

 

-x- 

 

Felix woke up crying a couple hours later at his usual time. River groaned, nudging her husband.

 

"Hm?" He blinked awake, focusing on her face since it was so close to his. 

 

"Baby..." She breathed, eyes still closed, "Sore. Can you get him?" 

 

He slipped out of bed and peered down into the cot at the red-faced infant before lifting him up. "You're alright, my little star." The Doctor rocked him gently as he brought Felix over to River. "Sh, sh, it's okay." 

 

River had managed to sit up in bed, holding her arms out for Felix. The baby didn’t calm much in River’s arms until she started nursing him. He switched impossibly fast from unrest to calm. 

 

"There we go." River murmured, happy that she could finally give Felix what he needed. 

 

"He so much less fussy than with the bottle," the Doctor commented.  

 

"He hates the bottle. Can’t for the life of me figure out why."

The Doctor made a noise of agreement. None of the other kids had as much of a problem with the bottle as Felix did, and the Doctor wondered briefly if it was because he was so young or just because he preferred the proximity to River. Either way, this was the most Felix had eaten in one sitting in a few days, so they were pleased regardless

 

The feeling of  _ better  _ echoed through the mental connection, followed by a general sense of content. 

 

The door creaked open and little footsteps came tiptoeing into the med bay. The Doctor took his eyes of his wife for a moment, smiling softly at the small, investigative face peering over the bed. “[What are you doing up so early, my star?]” 

 

"[Don't feel good.]" Terra pouted, trying to wiggle up onto the bed. 

 

He helped her up. "[Why don't I get you some more medicine and you sit tight with Mummy.]" 

 

River tensed just slightly, "Doctor...the baby..."

 

"Oh.. um," he paused, getting the pill he needed and gesturing for Terra to come over. "[Come over here to take your medicine, Terra.]" 

 

"[But I want to stay with Mummy.]" 

 

"[She needs to finish feeding your brother,]" he excused. 

 

Terra sighed and agreed, getting off the bed again.

 

"[There we are.]" He offered a smile and then offered the pill inside a spoonful of maple syrup. "[Now see if you can swallow this in one go.]" 

 

Terra took the medicine without trouble. “[I want to cuddle.]” 

 

"[Why don't you and I do that.]" He gestured to a cozy looking chair by the bed. 

 

“[But I want Mumma too.]” She huffed. 

 

"[I know, lovie, but remember she's feeding the baby right now.]”

 

“[But can’t she cuddle  _ and _ feed the baby?]” 

 

He paused, deciding it would just be easier to stop beating around the bush. "[Terra, do you know how an immune system works?]" 

 

Terra shook her head no.

 

"[Well... it's like the body's defense against germs and things that make you sick. If you have something like the stomach bug, for instance,]" he gestured to her since that seemed to be what Terra had at the moment, "[Then your body puts a lot of white blood cells into your blood and it's their job to go and kill the germs until you get better. Does that make sense so far?]" 

 

She nodded slowly, not seeing where he was going. 

 

"[Babies have very weak immune systems when they're first born. They don't have all the right cells they'd need to fight off germs if they get sick.]" 

 

“[So? He’s not sick.]” 

 

"[I know, but if Felix gets sick it could be very bad.]" He said gently. "[Do you understand?]" He asked again.

 

Terra gave a short nod and concluded, "[So the baby can go somewhere else and I can cuddle with Mummy.]" 

 

"[Not while he's eating, lovie. Sometimes we have to compromise on these things. You can cuddle with me for now, and perhaps in a bit switch to mummy while I hold Felix.]" 

 

They sat down together on a nearby armchair. Felix started to doze off when he finished nursing as did River. 

 

Eventually, the Doctor suggested that Terra come help make breakfast.

 

"[But my tummy still feels twirly.]" Terra informed him. 

 

“[Well.. you don’t have to eat a lot. Do you think you could have a piece of toast?]” 

 

She shrugged. "[I don't wanna get up.]" 

 

He sighed. "[If I made some toast for you, would you try to eat it?]" She nodded. He stood. "[Sit tight and be good for mummy, alright? I'll be back soon.]" 


	92. Passive Immunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "[Come here, my love.]" River beckoned her over.
> 
> Terra meekly got off the chair and approached the bed. She got up on the bed and settled tentatively against her mother, sure that she was going to be told soon that Felix had priority and she'd have to keep her distance again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

**Ch 92**

 

River started to drift off when the Doctor left. Felix wasn’t asleep but remained placid resting on her chest.

 

Terra sat in her chair, staring at her mother and brother. Eventually, she got off the chair and approached the bed, making sure to keep a safe distance from Felix. Terra waved her hand, trying to catch the baby’s attention. 

 

Felix was still too tiny to have eyesight strong enough to really see her clearly, though he turned his head slightly at the flash of blurry movement. 

 

Terra stared at him once more, slightly more scrutinizing now that she could properly see his face. She'd heard of adults often saying that babies looked like their parents, but she couldn't really see how such a round, squishy looking face looked at all like River or the Doctor. Except for the small bit of hair and his eyes, that was. "[Can you understand me?]" 

 

Felix blinked blankly at her. Terra frowned. She’d seen her parents and siblings cooing over this boy and using what she assumed were spoken words with him. She didn’t understand why they did that if the baby didn’t understand anything to begin with. 

 

Experimentally, she tried this time to vocalize his name, though having had no practice with it, said something closer to, “F’ek." 

 

Felix perked up slightly, his tiny fists flexing. Terra looked pleased to have gotten some kind of response, though the feeling fled when a bout of nausea came and she had to sit back down. 

 

The Doctor returned after a while with a tray of food. There were two egg sandwiches for the adults and one piece of plain buttered toast for Terra.

 

River started to wake once the food came, though this was mostly because Felix was getting restless. 

 

"I can burp him," the Doctor volunteered. "You should eat." He put the food on the stand beside the bed and moved to lift Felix up. 

 

"You don't have to do that," River murmured. 

 

"I don't mind." He was already settling Felix against his shoulder and looking for a spit-up towel. "It won't take long."

 

"Okay." She murmured, glancing at Terra. The girl was looking quite pale, obviously wheezy. "[Come here, my love.]" River beckoned her over. 

 

Terra meekly got off the chair and approached the bed. She got up on the bed and settled tentatively against her mother, sure that she was going to be told soon that Felix had priority and she'd have to keep her distance again. 

 

River wrapped her arms around the little girl, rubbing her back. Terra seemed to relax a little, closing her eyes. River hummed softly as a comfort. 

 

"I don't think we'll be able to send her to school this week," the Doctor murmured. 

 

"I know," River sighed, "I hope she gets better soon." 

 

"I should make sure the others get up." 

 

"Do you want my help?" She offered, though she knew he would refuse it.

 

"No, you need to rest," he insisted. Felix finally spat up, to which the Doctor cleaned up his face and set him down in his cot. "And keep an eye on these two." 

 

She beckoned him over for a kiss, "Good Morning, by the way." 

 

"Morning." He grinned against her lips. 

 

"Thank you for everything last night." 

 

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Soreness was certainly a step up from the pain she had been in. 

 

“I’m glad you were here.”

 

"There's nowhere else in the universe I'd be," he promised.

 

-x-

 

_ The Doctor tutted, pressing a dish towel into the wound. "It looks deep, Riv."  _

 

_ “It’s not that deep,” She winced, trying to blow off the pain, “Really. It’s fine.”  _

 

_ He didn't look like he believed her, though did try to peek under the cloth. Blood oozed from her arm the moment he lifted the pressure so he put it back quickly. "Well, at least you didn't nick anything too big... I thought you were going out for tea?”  _

 

_ "I was. I guess I typed 789 instead of 879 into the Vortex Manipulator. I landed in the middle of a battleground--got nicked by the Sharman's blades as I was trying to get out," she explained.  _

 

_ His eyes widened and he looked over her like he might suddenly find more injuries on her, going completely protective. "Are you sure you're alright?"  _

 

_ "Yes! Yes! I'm perfectly fine. Why are you so worried?"  _

 

_ He looked slightly flustered at that question, not realizing how protective he sounded and clearly not expecting to be called out on it. He answered, still in a worried and a bit hurried tone, "Because I love you and I don't like seeing you in pain."  _

 

_ Her expression softened, "Sentimental as always."  _

 

_ “Can’t help it. I've always hated seeing you hurt and now is no exception." He glanced at her round midsection for emphasis. "And this might need stitches."  _

 

_ She bit her lip, feeling guilty now, "I'm sorry. I should have been more careful."  _

 

_ "It wasn't your fault," he was starting to relax a bit, reminding himself that no matter what horrible images his mind conjured up, she was here and fine (aside from her arm). "Let's get you a real plaster."  _

 

_ "I put our baby in danger because I was craving tea." She put her head in her uninjured hand, "It was so stupid and careless."   _

 

_ "Tell you what, my love," his voice had gone softer. "How about I make you a cuppa once we take care of your arm?"  _

 

_ She looked up at him, a bit teary eyes, hormones getting the better of her, "That would be lovely." He offered her one of his warmest smiles was warmed her from the inside out. _

 

_ He made the medbay visit quick, pressing a kiss to her wound once it was properly wrapped in a neat, white gauze.  _

 

_ Soon they were in the kitchen with two warm cups of tea. "You can't possibly believe that you're not capable of protecting our kids, River."  _

 

_ She was tracing circles on her middle, not looking at him, "I'm disappointed in myself. I made a stupid mistake that could have..." She trailed off, "I shouldn't have been so reckless."  _

 

_ "You're too hard on yourself, love. It was an accident and you thought quickly and smartly."  _

 

_ "You wouldn't say that if something had happened." She sniffed, thinking of the horrible things that could have occurred.  _

 

_ "But it didn't happen." He reached across the table for her other hand that was resting on her teacup. "Because you are a very, very capable woman. And if it did, I'd be there in an instant."  _

 

_ She took his hand, squeezing it lightly.  _

 

_ "I don't doubt for a moment that you can protect the kids. I've seen you do it more times than I can count. I promise you'll do fine by this one, too."  _

 

_ She rose quietly, coming to sit on his lap, "I'm glad you have so much faith in me."  _

 

_ His arms slipped easily around her waist and he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "Always, River."  _

 

_ -x- _

 

Terra was starting to look worse as the Doctor got the other kids ready for school. She hadn’t even looked in the direction of her toast. River was starting to fret, getting up at one point and hobbling over to the scanner to try and do a scan on her. 

 

Terra was confused as to why River couldn't walk comfortably but was too tired to comment on it. The scanner didn't show anything out of the ordinary besides the gastroenteritis.  River got Terra more medicine, then attempted to move Felix's cot a bit further away from the bed. 

 

The Doctor returned a little while later. River was trying to comfort Terra, who had just been sick on the bed again. The Doctor tutted. "I'll help get this cleaned up." 

 

“I’m worried about her.” River frowned. 

 

"Did you do a scan?" He asked as he replaced the sheets. 

 

“Yes, but it said she’s fine other than gastroenteritis.” She sighed. 

 

"Well, sometimes the symptoms are worse than other times," he reasoned, pressing the back of his hand to Terra's forehead. Wisely, he kept to himself that somethings presented as gastroenteritis until more symptoms arose. "[Do you think you can keep down some medicine for the fever?]" 

 

Terra shook her head, turning and pressing her face into River’s shoulder. 

 

He sighed worriedly. “It’d be better if we could get her to eat or drink something.” 

 

“I know.” 

 

-x-

 

_ River paced back and forth outside the door of the nursery. She didn’t have much experience with illness or children, and certainly not illness  _ in _ children. Now that her daughters, who were barely a year old, had developed a fever, she was beside herself with worry, wringing an already wrinkled dish towel in her hands.  _

 

_ The Doctor exited the nursery with a slightly relieved exhale. There was a bit of sick on his shirt, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Finally got them asleep at the same time.”  _

 

_ “Are they doing any better?” She asked, “How are their fevers?”   _

 

_ “Haven’t changed in the last hour, but I think sleeping. Will help,” he murmured.  _

 

_ "They haven't kept anything down all day. They need fluids." She took the towel she had been holding and wiped the bit of sick off his shirt.  _

 

_ “We can give them fluids after they sleep.” It had taken a good hour for him to get both babies asleep at the same time without waking the other up.  _

 

_ She nodded, "I changed the sheets on our bed and cleaned up the bathroom."  _

 

_ “Thanks,” he offered a smile and brushed back a curl that had escaped River’s ponytail. “You look tired.”  _

 

_ "So do you." She smiled back.  _

 

_ “We have been up half the night.” He pointed out. “Let me cook you something.”  _

 

_ She waves a dismissive hand, "Let's just order in."  _

 

_ “Good idea.” Ordering take away was a much more common occurrence now that they had little ones, especially when they were first getting used to the late and interrupted nights.  _

 

_ Their usual spot was a little restaurant on Flaxi Seta that had just about everything. Living in the TARDIS meant that one could pick up the food as soon as they finished the call without having to wait for it.  _

 

_ The Doctor lurked by the nursery while River got the food, just in case one of their daughters decided that nap time was going to be short today.  _

 

_ River returned quickly with the food, the couple deciding to picnic outside their daughters' room. They made quiet conversation, not often having an opportunity like this. _

 

_ “I just never knew whether their health would take after yours or mine. Gallifreyan immune systems are very strong, we don’t get sick very easily.”  _

 

_ "Well, I guess we know now. They're taking after me." River sighed, avoiding his eyes.  _

 

_ “It’s not a bad thing, Riv.”  _

 

_ "It is when they're sick like this." She frowned.  _

 

_ “The stomach flu isn’t going last forever, my love,” he started. _

 

_ She sighed, "I just hope they'll get better soon."  _

 

_ “I promise they will.” He squeezed her hand. “Because they have an absolutely brilliant mother looking after them.”  _

 

_ "The same could be said about their father." She smiled.  _

 

_ He kissed the back of her knuckles as crying started from the nursery. “Together, then.”  _

 

-x-

Terra had somewhat taken over the medbay cot, her eyes screwed shut against her nausea. River tapped Terra's shoulder, "[You need to try and eat something, my love.]"  

 

Terra peaked an eye open, “[Don’t want to.]” 

 

"[You need to try.]" River pushed gently. 

 

Terra looked uncertain but didn’t say anything more to protest. River handed her a piece of toast, helping her sit up. Terra feebly started nibbling on the cold bread. 

 

“Are the others awake?” River asked her husband.

 

“Yes, they’re eating now,” he confirmed. 

 

“Good. Thank you.” Felix started to wake up, wanting to be held. 

 

“I can take them to school.” 

 

“Are you sure?” She asked as he lifted Felix from his cot. Felix was still small enough that the Doctor could cradle him in one arm as he sat on the end of the bed.

 

"Both of you need as much rest as you can get, and she shouldn't be leaving the house today," he nodded towards their daughter. 

 

“Doctor, I’m fine.” River insisted as if she had already forgotten last night’s events. 

 

"You need to rest," he repeated and added for good measure, in case that wasn't reason enough, "and she can't stay home alone." 

 

"I know." River breathed, looking at their daughter. Terra had managed a few bites of the toast but was now just holding it and not eating. 

 

"Do you want me to bring Felix with me?" he asked.

“It’s okay. I can watch him.” 

 

"We have our hands full today, don't we." He reached for her hand. 

 

She nodded, “I guess this is what it’s going to be like from now on.” 

 

“The stomach flu isn’t going last forever, my love,” he started, then paused. “And little guy won't be little forever, either." 

 

“I know.” She smiled weakly, “You’ve told me that before.”

Terra tapped on River's arm. "[Thirsty.]" 

 

“[Okay, my love. We’ll get you a drink.]” 

 

The Doctor filler a cup of water and handed it to her. “[Take small sips, please.]” 

 

Amelia poked her head in after a little while. “Mum and dad? We’re ready to leave, I think. Why are you guys in the medbay?”  

 

“Terra is sick.” River informed her daughter, “Just the stomach bug.” 

 

“Oh.” She nodded, glancing between the four of them. "Did she get it from camping?" 

 

"I hope not, but it's possible,” River answered.

 

"Which one of you is taking us to school?" she asked. 

 

"I think your father is going to take you to school." River smiled weakly. Terra was still holding tightly onto her mother, showing no signs of letting go. 

 

The Doctor rose and placed Felix back in the cot before moving to kiss River's forehead. "I'll be back soon" 


	93. Picture Frame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes." She smiled, "But I don't recall calling you a scary handsome genius from space."
> 
> “Subtext.”
> 
> "Is that what it is?" She laughed.
> 
> "What would you call then, dear?" He asked, face quite close to hers.
> 
> "Compensation."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

**Ch 93**

 

_ "If we don't sit soon I think my ankles are going to explode." River whispered to her husband through a mostly pasted on smile. The two had gone out for a fundraising Gala, though it was more of a work obligation than anything. "Remind me why I insisted on wearing heels?"  _

 

_ "Don't look at me, I recall advocating against them." He said back in the same tone.  _

 

_ "Well, I'm sorry I wanted to look nice for your gala.’ _

 

_ A few important looking people had trapped them in conversation twenty minutes ago and they'd all been standing in the same spot since. The Doctor pretended to see someone he recognized and tugged River away.  _

 

_ "Where are we going? Aren't you supposed to be rallying funds for the physics department?" River teased as they slipped through the crowd.  _

 

_ "Somewhere quieter. This school could go ten years without these galas and still have enough money to fund the next ten." He guided them towards an empty bench just outside the plaza hall.  _

 

_ "Ah, a seat, at last." She smiled, sitting down and sliding off her shoes, "I didn't think that man was ever going to stop talking."  _

 

_ "I'd be surprised if he noticed we were even gone." He wrapped an arm around her. "Now, at what point do I get to say 'I told you so' about the shoes?"  _

 

_ “Oh hush.” She smiled, leaning into him, “I wanted to look nice for all your colleagues.”  _

 

_ He raised an eyebrow. "For my colleagues, hm?"  _

 

_ “That’s what I said.” She grinned mischievously, “Why? Do you think otherwise, Professor Disco?”  _

 

_ He was grinning as well. "Well, Professor Song, in all the time I've known you, I've never seen you do something so bold as suffering a night in heels just for a few posh so and so's."  _

 

_ “Then, you could make an educated guess that I’m lying.” _

 

_ “I  _ have _ known you to do that.” _

 

_ “Perhaps there’s one person, in particular, I was dressing up for,” she continued in a gesticulating manner as if she were simply speculating with him about the nature of the matter. _

 

_ He tried not to look too smug when she said this. "Someone here tonight, I can presume?"  _

 

_ She hummed, “Someone who looks quite dashing, himself, even.”   _

 

_ At that moment, Ramone came outside, spotted them, and started over towards them. The Doctor's smile dropped quickly. Even River’s smile seemed to fade a bit. “It looks like we’re getting some company.”  _

 

_ "Professor Song!" Ramone seemed to be the most cheerful among the three. "Someone said they'd spotted you. I didn't think you were coming tonight."  _

 

_ “Yes, I wasn’t. But my plans changed.”  _

 

_ "There's dancing, did you see?" he asked, looking hopeful.  _

 

_ “I did. I’ve already danced quite a bit with my husband,” River made an effort to sound more tired than she really was. _

 

_ The Doctor held her a bit tighter and Ramone deflated slightly. "Oh, em, right. Maybe next time, then...?"  _

 

_ “Of course, next time.” She nodded.  _

 

_ "Right, you can go find someone else to dance with now," the Doctor huffed.  _

 

_ Ramone looked like he was going to say something more, but instead turned and walked away.  _

 

_ "Now there's no need to be rude, my love." River murmured once Ramone was gone.  _

 

_ "He's the one who--" he started, then stopped, realizing he sounded a little childish. "No, I suppose I could have been a bit better there."  _

 

_ "Now, what were we talking about?" She asked, wanting to move on from anything Ramone related.  _

 

_ “A scary handsome genius from space,” he offered up in a lighter manner. “Who perhaps needs a little work on his interpersonal skills?”  _

 

_ "Scary handsome genius from space?" She echoed, brow arching.   _

 

_ “You  _ were _ talking about me, weren’t you?” He teased.  _

 

_ "Yes." She smiled, "But I don't recall calling you a scary handsome genius from space."  _

 

_ “Subtext.” _

 

_ "Is that what it is?" She laughed.  _

 

_ "What would you call then, dear?" He asked, face quite close to hers.  _

 

_ "Compensation." _

 

_ "I guarantee I'm at least two of those things," he declared.  _

 

_ "Let me guess, scary and from space?"  _

 

_ He glared, though it was a playful one. "Didn't marry me for my good looks and charm then?"  _

 

_ "Well, that might have been a small factor." She leaned closer.  _

 

_ "And the other ones?"  _

 

_ “Well, for starters, you're wonderful at snogging."  _

 

_ "Are you sure about that one?" He challenged.  _

 

_ "Hmm, not really. I ought to test that hypothesis."  _

 

-x-

 

"[Has the medicine made you feel any better?]" River asked Terra. 

 

The girl shrugged lethargically. "[Tired.]" 

 

“[Why don’t you try to sleep then.]” River offered. 

 

“[Do I hafta go back to my room?]” 

 

"[No, but if you move over just a little bit I can tuck you in so you're more comfortable.]" 

 

Felix started winning yet again once Terra was asleep. River washed her hands before tending to Felix, "What's wrong, my darling?" 

 

_ Mummy!  _ Was the only word he thought, repeating it a few times as his arms waved about. 

 

River lifted him up, rocking him back and forth, "I'm here, sweetie. Mummy's here."  

 

His thoughts calmed and he relaxed, blinking up at River. River smiled at him, holding him tightly. "Aren't you so sweet."

 

The Doctor returned at that moment. River looked over at her husband, "Sweetie, look! He's smiling." 

 

The Doctor came over and peered over her shoulder at the baby. Felix blinked slower in his attempted smile. “I would be too if I were in your arms,” he teased. 

 

"Oh, stop it." She beamed. 

 

“Never,” he hummed and kissed her cheek. “How’s Terra?” 

 

"Sleeping. She was tired and that's about all she'd tell me." 

 

“Well… sleep is good,” he murmured. “It was a long night for all of us. You seem to be feeling better.” 

 

"A bit," she nodded, "I'm trying my best." 

 

"I know, but you don't have to be at 100%," he reminded. "You're recovering as well." 

 

"I'm alright," she smiled softly. 

 

He didn't push the subject further. Felix gurgled and the Doctor reached down a finger to stroke his tiny cheeks. "Did you get a chance to eat yet?" 

 

“Not yet, but I’ll do that now.” The egg sandwich he'd made for her earlier was still sitting on the nightstand, cold now. River took a bite, appreciating the effort despite the fact that the food was now cold. 

 

"Maybe we should move Terra back to her room," the Doctor thought out loud. Both she and River seemed well enough that they didn't need to stay in the medbay anymore.  

 

“I don’t want to disturb her while she’s sleeping.” River murmured, “She needs her rest.” 

 

"Do you want me to stay with her later when it's time to get the kids from school?" 

 

“We’ll see… I’m still pretty sore.” 

 

He nodded his understanding. 

 

The day remained quiet for the most part. They stayed in the medbay for a long while, mostly just chatting quietly and occasionally switching off who was holding Felix. 

 

Terra woke around lunchtime feeling slightly better. They moved back into the flat at that point where Felix was fed again and the Doctor made lunch for everyone else—more toast for Terra, but this time with a few ambitious slices of banana on top. 

 

River was on the sofa feeding Felix, when she said to the Doctor, “So...I suppose you’re going to have to go to the Executioner’s planet and save Missy.” 

 

"I suppose I am." He sighed in a conflicted manner but nodded. “Wouldn’t want another alternate timeline on our hands.” 

 

“No, we wouldn’t.” 

 

The Doctor looked at Felix, letting himself stare briefly with affection as the baby nursed. It was so much calmer than before when they tried to feed Felix with the bottles. The boy now indulged in the two favorite things he had in the world (so far)—food and his mother’s warmth—so he was as content as a week old timetot could get. 

 

“I could get it over with soon,” he said out loud, even though what he wanted to do most was put it off for as long as he could. 

 

River took his hand across the couch.

 

-x-

 

_ River was sitting at the kitchen table, trying to calm down with a  cup of tea. It was cold and untouched. She had had another horrible nightmare about Missy and couldn't get to sleep again, now finding herself sitting in the dark kitchen.  _

 

_ Tiber had been rubbing against her legs in an attempt to get a very early breakfast, but had given up and was now just lying at her feet.  _

 

_ The stairwell creaked with the weight of someone descending it. River sighed, starting to get up to look less like an insomniac.  _

 

_ The Doctor peered around the corner. "No need to get up for my sake. You looked comfortable."  _

 

_ She smiled weakly, "What are you doing up? It's still so early. Or late."  _

 

_ "I could ask you the same," he hummed, sitting at the table across from her. "But it does raise anxieties to wake and find you missing."  _

 

_ "I'm sorry," she murmured, "I had a nightmare and I thought some tea might help calm me down." She glanced at the untouched cup.  _

 

_ He didn't need her to explain much further since this was a fairly common occurrence. Usually, she stayed in their bedroom or at the very least the adjoining bathroom, so it spoke volumes that she'd come all the way down to the kitchen.  _

 

_ "About her?"  _

 

_ River nodded, running her hand along her belly, "Her and the baby."  _

 

_ The Doctor listened to many accounts of River's dreams, but recently there was a recurring one that was a horrifying blend of past events. Even he winced when he remembered River words: hands grabbing in the dark, Missy's horrible laugh as she drugged River and forced her to have the baby, flashes of unnamable devices all used to hurt her and Felix, the blood as she watched the woman carve 'mutt' and 'halfbreed into the baby's skin and her own, heart-wrenching screams from the baby, and the unfortunately vivid memory of pain. _

 

_ He assumed she was referring to this one and reached across the table and offered a hand. She took his hand, her own shaking.  _

 

_ "We've been so careful, Riv," he whispered. With all the extra scans and the extra protection on the house and the TARDIS, even Jack sometimes commented on them going a little overboard. "There's no reason to think things will change."  _

 

_ "But she's so smart. She's as smart as you are and she could find a way through all the walls we built." She breathed, squeezing her eyes shut.   _

 

_ He squeezed her hand, hoping to help anchor her into the present. "She's biolocked out of everything and our scanners get alerts of any spacetime movement the TARDIS makes." He knew she already knew this. It was actually mostly her idea to have most of those things. "We'd know it before she even started the engine."  _

 

_ River nodded slowly, pulling his hand closer.  _

 

_ "You know I'd do anything to keep her from laying a hand on you."  _

 

_ "I know." She stood, walking over to him. He pulled her into his lap, gently wrapping his arms around her.  _

 

_ She rested her head against his, "I'm sorry."  _

 

_ "It's not your fault." He was getting the increasing feeling that it was his, guilt thickening by the day that the decision he made was causing River so much distress. "Do you need anything?"  _

 

_ She shook her head, "I just want you here with me."  _

 

_ He relaxed slightly, moving one of his hands over her belly. "I can do that."  _

 

_ She turned her head to nuzzle his jaw. He hummed and smiled weakly. He turned his face towards her, stealing a kiss. "Love you."  _

 

_ "Love you too." She whispered back.  _

 

-x-

 

Terra seemed to be feeling better after another nap and kept asking her parents if she was allowed to play with Felix. 

 

“Should we let her hold him?” River asked wearily, she didn’t want to expose the baby to Terra’s illness, but she also didn’t want to discourage the sibling bonding. 

 

"It should be okay...," the Doctor murmured. He was still on edge about Felix catching something, but he knew logically that even if he did get sick it wouldn't be the end of the world. 

 

“[Terra, would you like to hold Felix?]” River offered. 

 

The girl nodded excitedly. "[Yes, please.]" 

 

“[Okay, Your father is going to put him in your arms. Just shake your head when you want me to take him back.]”  

 

“[Alright,]” Terra agreed excitedly, holding her arms out. 

 

"[Be very gentle.]" River reminded. 

 

The girl nodded. Felix didn't seem to mind being shifted around, blinking up at Terra with some young form of curiosity. 

 

“[Does it feel okay? Is he too heavy?]” River asked her daughter. 

 

She shook her head. Felix was about the same weight as the cats give or take a pound. Terra wouldn't be able to lift him well, but sitting and keeping him in her lap wasn't an issue. 

 

River stepped back, watching. Nothing really happened for a minute or so. Terra stared at her brother with the inspection of a curator and Felix stared back with a somewhat interested regard. 

 

They hadn't had a huge amount of interaction so far--Felix was used to seeing one of his parents' faces looming so close, not the face of his youngest older sister. Likewise, Terra was still grasping at why people thought babies were so cute and precious when their faces had a distinct lack of defining features. 

 

Terra was sitting so still with focus that she nearly jumped when Felix said, "Baphthhh," and left his tongue out for a few seconds longer than needed to actually make the sound. 

 

"[He's trying to talk to you.]" River smiled softly. 

 

Terra looked a tad confused, then excited as an idea formed. She looked at the baby and tried to say his name like she had before. "Fe'ik." 

 

River looked at her, quite surprised. Terra rarely ever tried to vocally speak. 

 

Felix, on the other hand, seemed quite pleased with the noise and gurgled back. Terra looked equally satisfied to have gotten a reaction from her brother, deciding that this was a sufficient form of communication since English and Sign weren't options. 

 

River took the Doctor's hand as Terra and Felix made noises back and forth with one another. “They make quite a pair don’t they?” He whispered to her, tone laced with affection. 

 

She nodded, "They're so sweet." Neither of them knew if this peace between their two youngests would last, but they were both glad for it, happy to watch it as long as it lasted. “She seems to be feeling much better.” 

 

“The medicine must be finally kicking in.” 

 

They were quiet for a long moment. 

 

“I don’t want to go back to the Executioner’s Planet.” He said, recalling their earlier conversation. “Not soon, anyway. It still feels... it still feels so fresh.” 

 

"I know." She whispered, turning and wrapping her arms around him. 

 

He leaned into her embrace, glad he didn't have to explain himself. River seemed to always understand these things without him saying. "Thank you." 

 

"Love you." She pressed her face to his chest. 

 

He rubbed slow circles on her back in a soothing manner. "Love you t--"

 

"Muh!" Terra interrupted her father before he could finish. 

 

River turned, looking at their daughter. Felix was sucking on Terra's pinky finger, somehow having decided that it was a good substitute for a pacifier. Terra looked distressed and mildly disgusted, not knowing what to do. 

 

River went to lift the baby up, "Terra doesn't like that, my love." 

 

Felix looked confused for a second before his brain decided that was too complicated of an emotion to have and went straight to crying instead. 

 

"It's alright, Felix. It's alright." River murmured, offering her finger to him instead. He calmed instantly once his mouth was occupied again. All evidence of his fit was gone aside from a few tears still wet on his cheeks. 

 

Terra exaggeratedly wiped her hand off on her trouser leg. "[Why does he do that? Do babies do that or is he just weird?]" 

 

River shook her head, "This is what babies do." The Doctor signed for River. 

 

Terra looked skeptical but shrugged. "[How come?]" 

 

"I don't know, sweetie. That's what babies do." 

 

Terra didn't question it further. "[How long do you stay out of work for?]" 

 

"A couple of months so we can take care of Felix." 

 

"[So...]," she paused to count on her fingers. "[After Christmas then?]" 

 

River nodded, "Yes, exactly." 

 

"[Won't it get boring?]" 

 

"I don't think so. I get to spend time with Felix, and your father. And I'll be able to see all of our friends." River listed. 

 

"[Oh. You won't go on trips without us, will you?]" 

 

"Well, we may go visit Auntie Vastra, but nothing too exciting." 

 

Terra relaxed. "[Can I go with Dad to pick everyone up?]" 

 

"Are you sure you're feeling well enough?" 

 

Terra nodded, though the Doctor didn't look very convinced. 

 

"[If your fever is still up after your next dose, I want you to stay here,]” the Doctor decided. 

 

Terra pouted, "[But I wanna come!]" 

 

"[It's not good to push yourself,]" he reminded. "[And I don't want you to get worse.]" 

 

Terra frowned but didn't protest anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my kink: people commenting once and while an not letting The_Doctors_ShaniGrangerMalfoySnowgaryen (my sweet innocent child who has never done any wrong in her life) be the ONLY person to comment 14 chapters. You can give me criticisms too if you have them.


	94. Trouble in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'd rather go on an adventure than do homework," he mumbled, then said louder. "Why not this weekend? Please?"
> 
> “Felix is too little. He’s not old enough to go out yet.” She shook her head.

**Ch 94**

 

_ "So, in short, what we're asking is if one of you wouldn't mind having the downstairs office be your new bedroom." The Doctor and River sat in the living room with their eldest daughters cross from them.  _

 

_ "I'll take it!" Freya jumped on the offer, knowing the downstairs office was bigger than her current bedroom.  _

 

_ "Amelia, you're okay with this?" he asked.  _

 

_ She shrugged, "I guess so"  _

 

_ "Right, I guess that settles that, then. Are you two packed to go to Vastra's tomorrow?" _

 

_ The two nodded.  _

 

_ "Are you sure you still want to go? You could stay here with us if you'd like." River offered, yet again.  _

 

_ "Mum, we've been planning this with Vastra since our birthday!" Freya reminded. "It's going to be fine."  _

 

_ "I... know, I suppose I'm just nervous about you being gone for so long."  _

 

_ "It's not like we've never been away overnight before." _

 

_ "Aunt Vastra already told us how to work her phone," Amelia added. "So we can call whenever."  _

 

_ "You're right." River sighed. It wasn’t unknown for River to be protective of her children, but she seemed to be taking it up a level ever since she had found out she was pregnant. "But we'll miss you."  _

 

_ "We're not leaving  _ today _ ," Amelia assured. "We can have family dinner tonight or something."  _

 

_ "Right, of course, we can." She nodded, smiling weakly, "We haven't told Arthur and Terra about the baby yet, so please don't mention it to them."  _

 

_ "Is it going to be deaf like Terra?" Freya asked.  _

 

_ River hesitated, "We...don't know yet. We've been running tests and as of right now, it doesn't look like the baby will be deaf. We won't know for sure for another few weeks."  _

 

_ “When do you find out its sex?"  _

 

_ "When you come home we can find out." River offered.  _

 

_ They looked quite pleased with this. "Can we help pick out a name?"  _

 

_ "We will consider any reasonable suggestions you make." River nodded.  _

 

_ "I've got an idea!" Arthur's voice piped up from the doorway.  _

 

_ The four of them turned their heads. "Oh, Arthur! You weren't, um, listening to all of that, were you?" The Doctor asked slowly.  _

 

_ "Well...kinda. I wanted to know what you were talking about! Do you think the baby's going to be a boy? I don't really want another sister."  _

 

_ The Doctor looked at River, smiling softly. "So much for saving the announcement..."  _

 

_ She squeezed his hand, looking at the kids, "Please, don't tell Terra. We want to tell her ourselves."  _

 

_ Arthur nodded, joining them on the couch. "Yeah, yeah. But it'll be a boy, right?"  _

 

_ "You know that I can't promise that it'll be a boy." River shook her head.  _

 

_ "Oh. Okay." He stared at her middle for a second. "It doesn't look like there's a baby in there."  _

 

_ "I've been trying to hide it so you three wouldn't notice." She murmured, smoothing back the baggy fabric of her dress.  _

 

_ Arthur looked delighted at the small bump. The twins appeared equally pleased, though tried to act a bit more cool about.  _

 

_ "When will it come out?" Arthur asked.  _

 

_ "In about five more months." River beamed.  _

 

_ Arthur looked focused for a moment as he counted on his fingers. "So... October? Ish?"  _

 

_ River nodded, "Probably right before Halloween."  _

 

_ "We should name it Jack," he decided, cheeks round with his smile.  _

 

_ River laughed, "What do you think of that, Doctor?"  _

 

_ "I don't think so," he crossed his arms. “We won’t be thinking about names for a little while anyway. When we get closer to the due date.” _

 

_ "Whatever you say, my love." River leaned in to kiss his cheek.  _

 

-x- 

 

Terra's fever was still up when the Doctor left to get the other kids from school, so she stayed home with River and Felix. They had decided to sift through some of the nursery decorations since Terra wasn't allowed to watch telly until later. 

 

River set Felix down for another nap while they sorted through the nursery decorations. Mostly it was just looking through the last of the pictures to be put up or taken down, but Terra got distracted along the way and was rummaging through the bookshelf. 

 

Terra had taken one of the Gallifreyan fairytales from Felix's shelf and curled up next to his cot to read it while River pruned the walls. 

 

Felix was still asleep by the time the Doctor came home with the other kids. By this time, River had finished with the pictures and was sitting in the rocking chair, pretending to read a book of her own—though she was really just watching Terra and Felix. 

 

Arthur came up the stairs, peering into the nursery. "Oh, you changed the pictures." 

 

River put her book down, standing up, "Do you like them?" 

 

He nodded, glancing at his sister and brother. Terra seemed to be nodding off. "Is she still sick?" 

 

"Yes, she still has a bit of a fever, but she's getting better, I think." 

 

Arthur crouched by Terra to have a look at Felix. "Mia and Freya have homework on the first day. Am I going to have homework on the first day of sixth form?" 

 

"You might." She nodded, walking over to stand next to him, "But I don't know for sure." 

 

He deflated slightly, then remembered it wasn't for at least another year and shrugged it off. "Did I miss anything?" 

 

"Not really." River assured him, "We just spent the day with Felix and Terra. How was school?" 

 

"Fine. We didn't really do anything except re-introductions and stuff," he answered. "It was kinda boring." 

 

“I’m sure it’ll get more exciting as time goes on.” She offered. 

 

He looked up at her and then down at Felix again. "When can we go on an adventure again?" 

 

“I’m not sure, sweetie. Not for a little while, but you’ll be so busy with school that you won’t notice.” 

 

"I'd rather go on an adventure than do homework," he mumbled, then said louder. "Why not this weekend? Please?" 

 

“Felix is too little. He’s not old enough to go out yet.” She shook her head. 

 

"Oh," he frowned. "Well, when will he be?" 

 

“Five months.” 

 

"We have to wait five months to go on a trip? Can’t we just have one without him?" 

 

“Five months isn't that long. Who will stay with him if he doesn't come?" 

 

"We have a time machine. We can all go and come back and he'll only be alone for 30 seconds," he pointed out. 

 

"No, Arthur. We will  _ not _ be doing that." She shook her head, "What if we make a mistake and we come back later than we mean to?"  

 

"Oh." Arthur looked stumped to come up with an answer for this. Felix started to wake up and Arthur made an escape back downstairs.

 

River turned, going to lift the baby. Felix whined as he was lifted. He caught hold of River's finger when he was in her arms and held it as firmly as an infant could, calming. River hushed him softly, rocking him back and forth. 

 

The Doctor came into the nursery quietly. River didn't notice, her back to the door as she hummed to the baby. He watched and listened for a little while, taking in the sight of River with their baby. 

 

Eventually, he made himself known by tapping on the door frame. She turned, smiling at him, "Hello." 

 

He smiled back warmly. "That song sounds familiar."

 

She walked towards him, kissing his cheek, "Does it?" 

 

"Yeah... where have I heard it before?" 

 

“It’s the song we danced to at one of our weddings.” 

 

His smile widened. "Of course. Now how could that slip my mind?" He looked down at Felix, wagging a finger at him. "Do you like that song?" 

 

Felix cooed, reaching for the Doctor’s finger. He fawned over Felix for a moment before Terra caught his eye. She was still asleep in her spot by the cot. "I should bring her to her room." 

 

“I can bring her if you want to take the baby.” River offered.

 

"Alright," he agreed, taking Felix. 

 

Felix began to fuss as he was shifted out of his mother’s arms. "It's alright, my little star," The Doctor murmured. "Mummy's right there, you're not going that far. There we are." He started humming, picking up the song where River had left off. 

 

River went to pick up Terra, bringing her to her bedroom. 

 

Terra stirred slightly as she was being put to bed. "[Still don't feel good.]" 

 

"[Do you want more medicine, my love?]" River offered. 

  
  


"[It tastes bed.]" She said. It wasn't really a no. 

 

"[I'm going to get you more medicine.]" River kissed her forehead. Terra nodded meekly. 

 

River left, returning after a few minutes with some more medicine but Terra was sound asleep again. River sat down on Terra's bed, deciding not to disturb the girl. Mr. Thomas made a quiet entrance into the room, slinking up onto the end of Terra's bed. 

 

All three cats were getting quite old by now at just past twelve years old. Mr. Thomas wasn't as thin as Tiber, but his fur was losing shine and one could feel his shoulder blades easily through his fur. He rubbed against River. 

 

River pet the cat, sitting and watching over her daughter. It was a long while before Amelia poked her head into the room. "Oh, there you are." 

 

"Is everything okay?" River asked. 

 

"Yeah, 'ts fine. Dad wants to know if you're okay with pasta for dinner." 

 

"That's fine." 

 

"Is she still sick?" Amelia nodded towards her sister. 

 

"Yes, I'm afraid so." River sighed.

 

"Oh." She came further into the room, peering at Terra. "But it's just the flu or something, right?" 

 

"I think so... we ran some tests and nothing unusual came up, but I think I'm going to do a few more just to be sure."  

 

"Okay," Amelia nodded, fidgeting with her hands a bit. 

 

"Are you okay?" River asked. 

 

"Yeah," said quickly. "Can, um, can we practice in the range after dinner?" River often gave the twins lessons in the TARDIS shooting range but hadn't for the time Missy was on the ship. 

 

River frowned, noticing that something was still off about her daughter, "What's wrong?" 

 

Amelia sighed, having a feeling she couldn't wiggle her way out of this. "I just can't get everything Freya told me out of my head. I thought school might help that but it didn't." 

 

River sighed, "Do you want to talk about it?" 

 

"Not really." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "

 

Alright. We can go to the range tomorrow if you'd like." She didn't want her daughters to think that using their blasters was a way of releasing emotions. 

 

“Thanks." 

 

Amelia went back downstairs, Mr. Thomas getting up and following suit. River followed as well since Terra was still fast asleep. 

 

The Doctor was at the stove, already getting dinner ready. Felix was tucked neatly into his left arm, making the baby appear even smaller than he was. He wasn't asleep instead watching with mild interest as his father cooked with one free hand. 

 

"Do you need help?" River asked softly. "Oh, um." he turned around, a wooden spoon in his free hand. Felix looked delighted at the sight of his mother. "I wouldn't say no." 

 

"Do you want me to take over with the food?" 

 

"That'd be great," he agreed. 

 

She took the spoon from him, getting to work on the food. The Doctor adjusted Felix in his arms so the boy could watch River cook. 

 

"Amelia is upset." River mentioned. 

 

"Why?" He frowned.

 

"She's upset about what Freya told her." She sighed, not looking at him. 

 

“Oh. That’s... understandable,” the Doctor murmured. “I take it she said something to you about it.” 

 

“Yes, and she wanted to go to the range tonight.” Usually, it was Freya who asked to go and mostly because it made her feel cool, not for any kind of emotional distress. 

 

"Did you say yes?" 

 

"I told her to wait until tomorrow." 

 

"That's a good call," he agreed. "She didn't go into specifics, did she?" 

 

"No, she didn't want to talk about it." 

 

He frowned slightly at this. Amelia didn't usually bring up something that was troubling her unless she wanted to talk about it. "Do you think we would try to get her to?"

 

She nodded slowly, "Maybe. I think it wouldn’t hurt." 

 

“I’ll try after dinner.” He volunteered. 

 

"Okay. That sounds good." 

 

Felix grabbed onto the Doctor's finger and promptly tried to stick it in his mouth. The Doctor tutted and pulled out a pacifier, offering it instead. 

 

"He keeps doing that. He probably needs to eat soon." River murmured. 

 

"If you want to feed him before dinner, I can finish cooking.”

 

"Okay." She nodded, going over to take the baby, "I'll be back in a bit." 

 

"Would you wake Terra on your way down and see if she wants to eat?" 

 

"Yes. Actually, I wanted to run a few more tests on her." River murmured, "I'm worried." 

 

"Does she have any more symptoms?" He glanced from the stove to her. 

 

"She's sluggish, and she keeps running a fever even though we've been giving her medicine." She watched him, obviously quite concerned. 

 

"Well, she hasn't eaten much today..." he pointed out, "but if you want to do the tests, go ahead." 

 

River kissed his cheek before going back upstairs with the baby.

**Author's Note:**

> Questions and comments are welcome! I'll clear up anything you're confused about/take constructive criticism.


End file.
